Movie News

Horror Movie A Day: Quint's one word review of SILENT NIGHT, BLOODY NIGHT (1976)

Published at: Oct. 14, 2008, 6:16 p.m. CST by quint



Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with today’s installment of A Movie A Day. [The regular A Movie A Day list has been frozen in order for me to do an all-horror line-up for October. I’ve pulled many horror titles from my regular “to see” stack and have ordered many more horror and thriller titles to make sure we have some good stuff. Like the regular AMAD column all the movies I’m covering are films I have never seen, but unlike the regular AMAD column I will not connect each film to the one before it. Instead I will pull a title at random every day and watch whatever the movie Gods determine for me.]

Unwatchable.

Here are the titles in the drawing pool for the rest of October: Wednesday, October 1st – Friday, October 31st: H-MAD! Horror Movie A Day! Check out the list here! Now’s the the time to pull the next HMAD! Next up is:

So, Richard Boone looking as much like Vincent Price as he can on the cover. I like the MGM Midnite Movies Series, so I’m sure it’s worth a watch. Plus it has to be better than the only one-word AMAD entry ever, the horrible, boring, cheap unwatchable piece of shit SILENT NIGHT, BLOODY NIGHT. -Quint quint@aintitcool.com



Previous Movies: June 2nd: Harper
June 3rd: The Drowning Pool
June 4th: Papillon
June 5th: Gun Crazy
June 6th: Never So Few
June 7th: A Hole In The Head
June 8th: Some Came Running
June 9th: Rio Bravo
June 10th: Point Blank
June 11th: Pocket Money
June 12th: Cool Hand Luke
June 13th: The Asphalt Jungle
June 14th: Clash By Night
June 15th: Scarlet Street
June 16th: Killer Bait (aka Too Late For Tears)
June 17th: Robinson Crusoe On Mars
June 18th: City For Conquest
June 19th: San Quentin
June 20th: 42nd Street
June 21st: Dames
June 22nd: Gold Diggers of 1935
June 23rd: Murder, My Sweet
June 24th: Born To Kill
June 25th: The Sound of Music
June 26th: Torn Curtain
June 27th: The Left Handed Gun
June 28th: Caligula
June 29th: The Elephant Man
June 30th: The Good Father
July 1st: Shock Treatment
July 2nd: Flashback
July 3rd: Klute
July 4th: On Golden Pond
July 5th: The Cowboys
July 6th: The Alamo
July 7th: Sands of Iwo Jima
July 8th: Wake of the Red Witch
July 9th: D.O.A.
July 10th: Shadow of A Doubt
July 11th: The Matchmaker
July 12th: The Black Hole
July 13th: Vengeance Is Mine
July 14th: Strange Invaders
July 15th: Sleuth
July 16th: Frenzy
July 17th: Kingdom of Heaven: The Director’s Cut
July 18th: Cadillac Man
July 19th: The Sure Thing
July 20th: Moving Violations
July 21st: Meatballs
July 22nd: Cast a Giant Shadow
July 23rd: Out of the Past
July 24th: The Big Steal
July 25th: Where Danger Lives
July 26th: Crossfire
July 27th: Ricco, The Mean Machine
July 28th: In Harm’s Way
July 29th: Firecreek
July 30th: The Cheyenne Social Club
July 31st: The Man Who Knew Too Much
August 1st: The Spirit of St. Louis
August 2nd: Von Ryan’s Express
August 3rd: Can-Can
August 4th: Desperate Characters
August 5th: The Possession of Joel Delaney
August 6th: Quackser Fortune Has A Cousin In The Bronx
August 7th: Start the Revolution Without Me
August 8th: Hell Is A City
August 9th: The Pied Piper
August 10th: Partners
August 11th: Barry Lyndon
August 12th: The Skull
August 13th: The Hellfire Club
August 14th: Blood of the Vampire
August 15th: Terror of the Tongs
August 16th: Pirates of Blood River
August 17th: The Devil-Ship Pirates
August 18th: Jess Franco’s Count Dracula
August 19th: Dracula A.D. 1972
August 20th: The Stranglers of Bombay
August 21st: Man, Woman & Child
August 22nd: The Little Girl Who Lives Down The Lane
August 23rd: The Young Philadelphians
August 24th: The Rack
August 25th: Until They Sail
August 26th: Somebody Up There Likes Me
August 27th: The Set-Up
August 28th: The Devil & Daniel Webster
August 29th: Cat People
August 30th: The Curse of the Cat People
August 31st: The 7th Victim
September 1st: The Ghost Ship
September 2nd: Isle of the Dead
September 3rd: Bedlam
September 4th: Black Sabbath
September 5th: Black Sunday
September 6th: Twitch of the Death Nerve
September 7th: Tragic Ceremony
September 8th: Lisa & The Devil
September 9th: Baron Blood
September 10th: A Shot In The Dark
September 11th: The Pink Panther
September 12th: The Return of the Pink Panther
September 13th: The Pink Panther Strikes Again
September 14th: Revenge of the Pink Panther
September 15th: Trail of the Pink Panther
September 16th: The Real Glory
September 17th: The Winning of Barbara Worth
September 18th: The Cowboy and the Lady
September 19th: Dakota
September 20th: Red River
September 21st: Terminal Station
September 22nd: The Search
September 23rd: Act of Violence
September 24th: Houdini
September 25th: Money From Home
September 26th: Papa’s Delicate Condition
September 27th: Dillinger
September 28th: Battle of the Bulge
September 29th: Daisy Kenyon
September 30th: Laura
October 1st: The Dunwich Horror
October 2nd: Experiment In Terror
October 3rd: The Devil’s Rain
October 4th: Race With The Devil
October 5th: Salo, Or The 120 Days of Sodom
October 6th: Bad Dreams
October 7th: The House Where Evil Dwells
October 8th: Memories of Murder
October 9th: The Hunger
October 10th: I Saw What You Did
October 11th: I Spit On Your Grave
October 12th: Naked You Die
October 13th: The Wraith

Readers Talkback

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  • Oct. 14, 2008, 6:15 p.m. CST

    Unreadable...

    by JimCurry

    Quint, be honest, you just had some other shit to do...

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 6:16 p.m. CST

    HA!

    by sonnyfern

    It had to happen sooner or later! "I Bury The Living" Rocks though. I think you'll dig that one quite a bit.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 6:17 p.m. CST

    Jim

    by Quint

    I am busy, but I have more than enough time to write a thorough review. I just couldn't think of anything else to say besides Unwatchable that wouldn't have just been redundant. It really is a horrible movie, with no fun or artistic value whatsoever.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 6:28 p.m. CST

    Unreviewable

    by Jawa 007

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 6:29 p.m. CST

    FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

    by The Amazing G

    watch I Madman please

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 6:34 p.m. CST

    I kinda like this one word review thing.

    by Knuckleduster

    Here's mine. Ghost Rider = poo. <p> Yep, it works.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 6:36 p.m. CST

    LOL

    by psychedelic

    I like this review. Others may criticize, but I think it's to the point. Other one word reviews I know of:<p>The New Yorker summary review of Spawn: yawn.<p>CineFile newsletter review of S.W.A.T: S.H.I.T

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 6:37 p.m. CST

    cheat

    by jambone

    you'll write an encyclopedia's worth of crap about The Wraith and then puss out on another piece of crap? Commit or don't do it.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 6:38 p.m. CST

    That's CineFile video in L.A.

    by psychedelic

    I remembered to put "video" after "CineFile" the millisecond after I hit Post Talkback.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 6:38 p.m. CST

    awesome

    by aint_it_cruel?

    I Bury is great. Theodore Bikel's character is the inspiration for Groundskeeper Willie, I believe.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 6:41 p.m. CST

    yes unwatchable, but....

    by zom-bot.com

    i mean, you post reviews for (i assume) a living...and we come here to read them.<P>so, just typing 'unwatchable, however true, is irresponsible and a cop-out. it's not worth all the HTML involved in the production of this page, and a waste of everyone's time. <P> personally, i'd like to know HOW bad it was. was it even bad enough to make fun of? i seriously doubt this is so bad even MST3K or someone couldn't riff on it. <P>what a waste of a post here, sorry i stopped by to read it and then bitch about the lack of....

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 6:48 p.m. CST

    Do a Haiku review at some point.

    by psychedelic

    They are fun to read.<p>Some people will bitch and moan.<p>But they can screw off.<p> Yet another typo correction, I forgot to put a period after "T" on S.H.I.T.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 6:58 p.m. CST

    zom-bot.com

    by SamBluestone

    I agree to an extent, but honestly, some films aren't even worth more than one word. They're not even worth tearing apart. Surely we've all seen films like that. I mean, do we really need some critical analysis for SILENT NIGHT, BLOODY FUCKING NIGHT?

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 7:01 p.m. CST

    If there HAD to be a word...

    by stanton29

    Brevity is the soul of wit.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 7:02 p.m. CST

    Quint, forget the haters you probably

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    saved us all 90 minutes of wasted life.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 7:10 p.m. CST

    I Bury the Living

    by filmcans

    That's a pretty good one. One word review: Watchable!

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 7:14 p.m. CST

    I Concur...

    by Major Hockshtetter

    As an ex-ma'n'pa' small town video store employee, I watched every piece of canine dookie shat out by the lowrent labels of the day (United Home Video, Wizard Home Video, Gorgon, etc.), thus I too suffered through this particular intestinal blockage of a film. If I could add anything at all to Quint's spot-on review, it would be "Totally Fucking Unwatchable." Add the films Blood Cult and The Ripper to the mix for the Totally Fucking Unwatchable Film Fest!

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 7:14 p.m. CST

    Dear Quint

    by Ines5

    Are You still Taking Ideas for Horror Films to See Before October ends?? I Ask Because I can Think of Some Truly AMAZING and IMPORTANT Horror Motion Pictures that Sadly have been Forgot by much of the Public or Just Don't get The Credit and Praise They Deserve!!

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 7:15 p.m. CST

    Unwatchable

    by konkrete590

    Sometimes one word says it all. I feel the same way with Ultraviolet. It is the only movie to this day that I walked out of a theater on, and I have sat through a lot of crap like Wiked Lake at Fantastic Fest this year. Although, I probably would have walked out of that one if I didn't have to wait to sign my credit card slip for the food I ordered.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 7:15 p.m. CST

    *heh*

    by smallerdemon

    There's always one, isn't there? Perhaps you'd not had enough to drink or otherwise impair your senses so much that you were unable to move or even lift a finger to lift the remote, but somehow you remained conscious and aware and unable to pass out while the visions in front of you passed by and pulled out bits of your soul through your pupils. And now, you have nothing left. What little was available to say about the movie has drifted into the aether and being consumed by dust mites and fairies. It is true, though, there are simply only so many ways to say "unwatchable". I've heard the Caustic Critics on Rue Morgue Radio go on and on about unwatchable films and really all they needed to say was "Unwatchable. Keep your time and money."

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 7:21 p.m. CST

    out of curiousity, have you thrown it away?

    by lex romero

    Are you the kind of man to throw out afilm that you don't like, or would you keep it in your film collection "just because". I'm one of those people that loves to collect dvds, and i have a few that i really don't like but steill have on my shelf simply because i don't want to throw them out.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 7:21 p.m. CST

    how did this one get picked then?

    by zom-bot.com

    i know the normal movie a day is from his collection, connected each day by some element in them, but if you are just picking a horror movie a day in october, with no connection or obligation to select it, why waste the day and space on the unwatchable one?

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 7:23 p.m. CST

    not knockin' ya quint...

    by zom-bot.com

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 7:30 p.m. CST

    Zom-bot...

    by drew mcweeny

    ... he's got a stack of suggested titles, and he picks one at random from that stack after he watches each day's film. So October's a surprise for him. I feel ya' on this one, Quint. I thought the review was dead on. I have encountered a good ten or twenty of those in my time at AICN, movies that simply produce a crippling wave of apathy. Well said, man. And remember... if you end up seeing THE WRAITH but not THE SILENT PARTNER, I am totally going to punch you in the store.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 7:34 p.m. CST

    But still...

    by Gungan Slayer

    Yes, this movie is unwatchable and a piece of shit, but there have been other movies you've seen or reviewed that are also a piece of shit, and that are not fun or contain no artistic value whatsoever. IGN posters flock to reviews of shitty games because more often than not they're the funniest and best reviews to read. Nontheless, while I agree 100% with this review, it still would have been nice to read a little bit more.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 7:49 p.m. CST

    review continues under the preview for tomorrow:

    by evolvingsensblty

    a few more words and one repeated word: ...horrible, boring, cheap unwatchable piece of shit SILENT NIGHT, BLOODY NIGHT.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 7:49 p.m. CST

    Most sloppily made horror movie, for what it's worth...

    by Organs

    ..is "A Night to Dismember". Look it up on IMDB and you'll see what I mean. Great for laughs, though. Even moreso than "Manos: Hands of Fate".

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 7:50 p.m. CST

    That just makes me curious to see it.

    by tonagan

    It's like you're daring us to watch it.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 7:52 p.m. CST

    SHENANIGANS!

    by Strelnikov!

    I call shenanigans. Really love these A(H)MAD columns, but this is just plain annoying. If it's bad, tell us how bad. Give us a paragraph. Or even just a sentance to say "This movie is like X, only worse." so we at least know where we stand. Just saying "Unwatchable" does nothing but make us want to go rent it just to satisfy our own curiosity.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 7:59 p.m. CST

    How about a mini-review in the talkback?

    by Quint

    Would that satisfy?<BR><BR>Basically you have a movie about a house in a small town with an evil reputation and the night before Christmas someone breaks out of a mental institution and hides out there, killing a bunch of people off-camera. Mary Woronov is the daughter of the Mayor who leaves to go to this house at the end of act 1 and doesn't get there until the end of act 3, with his daughter somehow leaving in the middle of act 3 and arriving before him.<BR><BR>There's one scene with blood in it, the first murder of a fornicating lawyer and his mistress.<BR><BR>It's completely devoid of atmosphere, competent writing or directing and feels like it was edited by a man with palsy. All the edits are jumpy, badly timed... Woronov is the only one trying not to suck and she can only come off as not horrible.<BR><BR>If the movie was a little bit worse, it'd be incredibly fun. If it was a little bit better it'd be boringly mediocre. It is just bad enough to be completely uninteresting and not bad enough to get drunk and laugh at.<BR><BR>As I said in my initial review: Unwatchable.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 8:01 p.m. CST

    Quint - Don't listen to these clowns...

    by BGDAWES

    That review made me laugh out loud, seriously. <br> <br> That review reminded me of one of my favorite quotes from Spinal Tap: <br> <br> Marty DiBergi: The review for "Shark Sandwich" was merely a two word review which simply read "Shit Sandwich".

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 8:02 p.m. CST

    what about SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT....

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    ...blows this one away.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 8:03 p.m. CST

    UNWATCHABLE = INDY IV

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    Fool me once......fuck you George Lucas.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 8:23 p.m. CST

    Danny

    by Quint

    Silent Night, Deadly Night is fucking awesome. I feel sorry for anybody who picks this up mistaking it for SNDN.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 8:35 p.m. CST

    the box art...

    by zom-bot.com

    looks like the type of unrestored, crappy Z movie dvd's they sell at big lots (or the dollar store) by the checkout around halloween, so, that should have been a clue.<P>;)

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 8:50 p.m. CST

    Quint, for the love of GOD, find The Changeling

    by Manos

    with George C. Scott. If you haven't seen it, that is. No blood, no gore, no hatchet wielding madman, just a good story, well told by seasoned actors, and something that will give you the willies when you turn out the light.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 9:04 p.m. CST

    Yeah Silent Night, Deadly Night is fun....

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    ...my friends and I used to roar with applause when he hacks the old hag nun. Bitch.<p>

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 9:15 p.m. CST

    Manos

    by Quint

    I have indeed seen it and it is a masterful movie... suspense, atmosphere and a creepy old-timey wheelchair.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 9:25 p.m. CST

    The 1980 Motion Picture The CHANGELING

    by Ines5

    If I May? I would Like to Suggest The Intelligent & Beautifully Old-Fashioned 1980 Ghost Story The Changeling starring George C. Scott and Well-Directed by Peter Medak. Simply put THE CHANGELING is One of The BEST Haunted-House Films ever made!!

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 10:01 p.m. CST

    Yes! Yes! The Changeling!

    by Strelnikov!

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 10:15 p.m. CST

    my favorite scene from The Changeling...

    by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    ....this still scares the piss out of me. <p>http://tinyurl.com/6ymyp9

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 10:20 p.m. CST

    But...but...!

    by Josh Acid

    "Basically you have a movie about a house in a small town with an evil reputation and the night before Christmas someone breaks out of a mental institution and hides out there, killing a bunch of people off-camera. Mary Woronov is the daughter of the Mayor who leaves to go to this house at the end of act 1 and doesn't get there until the end of act 3, with his daughter somehow leaving in the middle of act 3 and arriving before him. There's one scene with blood in it, the first murder of a fornicating lawyer and his mistress. It's completely devoid of atmosphere, competent writing or directing and feels like it was edited by a man with palsy. All the edits are jumpy, badly timed... Woronov is the only one trying not to suck and she can only come off as not horrible. If the movie was a little bit worse, it'd be incredibly fun. If it was a little bit better it'd be boringly mediocre. It is just bad enough to be completely uninteresting and not bad enough to get drunk and laugh at. As I said in my initial review: Unwatchable." Sounds like you watched it. I don't know what to believe.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 10:35 p.m. CST

    Unwatchable?

    by the beef

    Is that a challenge?

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 10:36 p.m. CST

    Madman owns I Madman

    by TheBloop

    Madman, the horror movie about the axe wielding Madman Martz, that is.... http://www.imdb.com/t itle/tt0082696/

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 10:37 p.m. CST

    "Decampitated" is where it's at, yo

    by Frisco

    Quint, it's worth a look. Trust my anonymous Internetard recommendation on this.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 11:18 p.m. CST

    I feel guilty

    by Continentalop

    I was thinking I might of seen this way back in my youth, and I was remembering how horrible and unwatchable (same term I was thinking) it was. However, I wasn't quite 100% sure this was the movie I was thinking of so I thought I should hold my tongue. I apologize that; next time I will warn you.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 11:18 p.m. CST

    At least you watched it, Quint

    by The Crystal Skull

    'Unwatchable' would indicate that you didn't finish watching it, but as your more detailed talkback shows, you did. Nice job. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's people judging entire movies that they haven't seen, or that they turned off before the end.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 11:18 p.m. CST

    Unwatchable

    by Continentalop

    ...By the way would be a great name for a horror movie.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 11:21 p.m. CST

    Crystal Skull

    by Continentalop

    I have never watched "Torture Dungeon" or "House of a 1,000 Pleasures" till the end, but I think I can judge both.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 11:24 p.m. CST

    Skull

    by Quint

    To the bitter end.

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 11:28 p.m. CST

    Changeling!

    by macheesmo3

    Yes it will scare you!( i think of the part when they tear up that ladies house and my mind goes( the ring ripped this off!). George C scott is actually pretty understated and cool in this movie . I hope you get to it soon ( aww hell , cheat! :-)

  • Oct. 14, 2008, 11:32 p.m. CST

    Anybody noticed how much THE OTHERS...

    by Gilkuliehe

    ...Took from THE CHANGELING? I was surprised to see how much an influence it was on it, specially in sound design, and the whole "contacting the spirits" bit. A great horror movie.

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 12:03 a.m. CST

    If you turn it off, the movie beats you

    by The Crystal Skull

    Okay, so some movies you can "judge", if you will, without having seen the entire thing. But imho, that makes your critique much less valid, and your integrity as a movie critic much less valued. How could anyone take any art critic seriously if the critic (or reviewer) doesn't even see the work in its entirety? If you're going to review or critique a film, you only do injustice to yourself, to the people you review to, and everyone who is in any way responsible for bringing all the right circumstances together for you so that you have the chance to view this film (any film). Not just the filmmakers, but the distributors, the theater houses, the marketplace that offers the film up. Any reviewer worth his salt will reserve judgment on a movie until they have seen the entire thing. "To the bitter end." - fantastic job, Quint. Thank you for enduring that flick, so you can truly warn the rest of us what to expect.

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 12:06 a.m. CST

    correction

    by The Crystal Skull

    I meant to say "If your going to review or critique a film WITHOUT FINISHING IT, you do injustice to.... blah blah"

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 12:11 a.m. CST

    What about naps, Crystal?

    by Gilkuliehe

    I write small reviews for a paper here and yesterday I kinda doze of in the movie. I saw it to the bitter end, but it was IMPOSSIBLE for me to keep my eyes open. Doesn't that count as a reaction the reviewer got from the movie? It could even count as an emotional response if you think about it. What I feel guilty about though is not ADMITTING it in said review. I said the movie was boring as hell though. Come on, enlighten me. Is the napping reviewer worth his salt?

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 12:28 a.m. CST

    The napping reviewer

    by The Crystal Skull

    I would say that if the MOVIE put you to sleep, then that could be a legitimate cause to not recommend the movie to people. If you fell asleep because you were tired though, you do the movie a disservice. But I think you hit the nail on the head when you say you feel guilty about not admitting it to the people you review to. It's like a little white lie. I mean, then you could make stuff up about the movie, and you would never know if you were right! You might have missed the single greatest Bruce Campbell cameo ever! I think that if you're going to review a movie, and the movie either puts you to sleep or you're so disgusted that you have to turn it off, then you should be responsible and clarify that in your review. "The movie may have had a great ending, but I'll never know since I couldn't get through the middle!" You really should try to know something before critiquing it. (And I wouldn't call sleep an emotion).

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 12:54 a.m. CST

    Ineloquent

    by Napoleon Park

    Or Inelo-Quint.<p>Since the Q-man did come back with a mini-review it's unfair to critique his one word commentary, but frankly when I saw it I was hoping he simply had a defective DVD and not that he had nothing to say. He made up his own rules - pick a random Halloween horror flick per day to review - and refusing to follow his own rule and post said review seems like a betrayal of that trust and intent. But of course he did come through with the mini review, which was enough. And yes, I've seen films not worth watching, so I get the "unwatchable" concept. Try watching the Grapes of Wrath with a bunch of tripping hippies sometime for a real bummer.<p>Look at the response here - obviously a lot of people do come here to read AMAD. And frankly sometimes a really vicious bad-mouthing can be the most entertaining sort of review. So, as Nirvana said, "Here we are, now entertain us."

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 1:02 a.m. CST

    I BURY THE LIVING: almost a great movie

    by thegreatwhatzit

    Almost? I heard that the producers compromised the original ending (Richard Boone's character literally dies from fright) for an idly optimistic, very contrived conclusion. Albert Band's direction is perfection (considering the claustrophobic contraints); and he actually spawned the correlavatively untalented Charles Band? Sad. That is all.

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 1:53 a.m. CST

    At first i thought this was a review...

    by deanbarry

    On Silent Night, Deadly Night! I was all...WTF! Unwatchable? Huh? Did you watch the remake by mistake? Then i realised my error, that said classic is NOT the unwatchable one. Which is good, cause it is very Watchable. As for the unwatchable one, i'll be sure not to watch it, in case my eyes fall out of my head, screaming.

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 1:54 a.m. CST

    Hahaha that was funny.

    by ivehadsex

    I've seen a lot of movies from that time period that are just as bad and for a lot of the same reasons and it's hard not to fall asleep during them.

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 3:06 a.m. CST

    I Second Moriarty

    by psychedelic

    Quint, you really must see The Silent Partner. I saw it recently and it's almost the definition of an overlooked hidden gem. I could talk about it at length but I'll limit myself to saying I strongly recommend it.<p> It would make a great double feature with $(Dollars) starring Warren Beatty and Goldie Hawn, if you haven't seen that one either. Both are on DVD.

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 3:48 a.m. CST

    I BURY THE LIVING

    by Continentalop

    All I am going to say is I believe the Scottish groundskeeper was the inspiration for Groundskeeper Willie. I will also join the chorus and say that The Silent Partner is a great movie.

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 5:31 a.m. CST

    I've seen this movie

    by Screwhead

    ...all the way through, so technically it's not unwatchable. I will say, though, that it's not very good at all and I hardly remember it. But I'm not sure it could be fairly described as "completely devoid of atmosphere." It has some, in that cheap '70s horror flick manner.

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 6:35 a.m. CST

    No one claiming this flick as a favourite?

    by Boba Fat

    That must be a first.

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 6:53 a.m. CST

    Don't let the man get ya down, Quint.

    by maddox

    Awesome review! More short-and-sweet reviews, please!

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 7:17 a.m. CST

    Quint...

    by king_of_nowhere

    What are the odds on you randomly finding a copy of Chopping Mall before the end of the month?

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 8:44 a.m. CST

    Do it fucking properly...

    by magnius

    or don't do it at all you lazy prick! Re-add this to the pile and do your fucking job!

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 8:52 a.m. CST

    Best. Review. Ever.

    by Lost Jarv

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 9:20 a.m. CST

    Black Christmas (1974)

    by Darthkrusty

    Another, much better "Christmas" horror film along with Silent Night, Deadly Night. Far from perfect, but fun and worth a spin. Also, no problem with your 1 word review. I would've liked a few more words, maybe a paragraph, but I got a good chuckle. Thanks.

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 9:23 a.m. CST

    So you're saying you didn't like it?

    by Geekgasm

    Moving right along then.

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 9:54 a.m. CST

    I laughed when I saw this film on the list.

    by The Reluctant Austinite

    How did it get there? Unfortunately, I have also seen it, but I honestly can't remember if I finished it. I think I started fast forwarding at some point before I gave up.

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 9:55 a.m. CST

    from quint's computer.....

    by mcdowell_32000

    your "spell check" is grateful for having the day off...

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 10:30 a.m. CST

    Best TWO-word review outside of Spinal Tap's "Shark Sandwich"...

    by Catbarf the 12th

    I can't verify this offhand, but I've heard it rumored that "Beneath the Planet of the Apes" was once reviewed by a major critic in two words... "And How!"

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 10:33 a.m. CST

    The Silent Partner - More info please!

    by Catbarf the 12th

    Which movie with this title did Mori mean? There are two on Netflix and neither is horror (one is CIA stuff, the other is a caper movie), unless you changed the subject away from horror by mentioning it.

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 10:45 a.m. CST

    What this movie does NOT have.

    by CyberVishnu

    "Garbage Day!"

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 11:16 a.m. CST

    The DVD'S ARE unwatchable...

    by Lord Elric

    But not the movie, I would argue. I think it's a creepy little number, with some nice atmosphere, though saddled with a slow pace. I don'y know which one you saw Quint, but nearly ALL of the current DVD's are cut, and horribly transferred. There's a long thread over at The Latarnia Forums in general horror, but I can't find it, just right now. There's also a fan site at http://www.freewebs.com/silentnightbloodynight/. Some very useful information can be found there, too. I'm sorry you didn't like it Quint, though it's perfectly understandable why. I just don't agree that it's as horrible as you make it out to be. If you go to the IMDB board on this, try to find Squonkamatic's review of it. It's excellent, and makes some very valid points, that I don't have time to go into, right here. Btw, I really dig this column, and the October horror theme. Hope it continues.

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 11:49 a.m. CST

    DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    I agree 100 percent. Silent Night, Deadly Night was great. "Punish!"

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 11:55 a.m. CST

    Dude there's a reason you aint seen most of these movies is...

    by FILMFUNK

    They're unwatchably shite! amazing you've made it this far but really i think you is torturing yourself with some of these lo-rent ones!

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 12:08 p.m. CST

    The Silent Partner

    by m.dung

    The one I recommend stars Elliot Gould and Christopher Plummer. It's a suspense flick from the late 70's. Plummer plays a real badass in this one.

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 12:45 p.m. CST

    I Bury The Living

    by Mathom

    Its a real winner in my book. I think you'll dig!

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 1:24 p.m. CST

    But is it worse than 'Frogs?'

    by Hamtaro Hentai

    Well?

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 1:57 p.m. CST

    Did Woronov at least get naked?

    by Crimson Dynamo

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 1:59 p.m. CST

    Saw FROGS in a drive-in with

    by Darthkrusty

    FOOD OF THE GODS and EMPIRE OF THE ANTS. Yeah, a drive-in triple-feature. I found all to be silly fun... especially FOTG. Marjoe Gortner rules!

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 3:07 p.m. CST

    No, do the grand slam and add

    by Grammaton Cleric Binks

    Kingdom of Spiders.

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 3:33 p.m. CST

    Yeah, not very good

    by Frightreviews

    I wouldn't say unwatchable, but pretty dull. I just remember liking that it seemingly took place in Arlington, MA, which is where I used to live. And, not that its up to its quality, but it did come before Black Christmas (Quint has the date wrong - this one was shot in 1972 and released in 74, not sure where the 76 came from), and has some of the same elements (obvious setting, POV shots, creepy phone calls, etc). FWIW.

  • Oct. 15, 2008, 8:25 p.m. CST

    One word review is lazy...

    by TylerDurden3395

    At least you could've made a jokey pun like Silent Night, Bloody Awful. I agree though, the movie was ass. I Bury the Living isn't bad, but it would've worked better as a half hour Darkside episode or something.

  • Oct. 16, 2008, 11:38 a.m. CST

    ok heres a weird non sequiter about this partivular dvd

    by ChocolateJesusMan

    I actually like many others own this very same dvd (bought it on sale at wal-mart for the low low price of $1 plus a snickers bar & a bag of nachos... god i miss those nachos & that snickers bar...the movie not so much

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