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Review

You are not prepared for CAMP DEATH III in 2D

Freddy Beans here with a review of an impossible to explain horror parody, titled CAMP DEATH III in 2D!

That title will make horror hounds think this is a parody of FRIDAY THE 13TH PART III (in 3D) or at the very least a sequel to another Camp Death flick.  You’d be completely wrong. 

This is more akin to SCARY MOVIE, tearing into everything horror it can think of.  There’s literally nothing that’s safe in CAMP DEATH III in 2D.  This will probably be the most offensive movie you may watch this year.  Are you looking for the best drinking game companion flick on the market here in early 2019?  Then look no further.

This thing is as stuffed to the gills with ridiculous and offensive behavior as it can be, on its meager $35,000.00 budget.  What Matt Frame does on this budget is unbelievable.  I’d be impressed with a budget doubling that line.  He gets every damn cent out of that budget and then some.  The man must have had a lot of favors owed to him.

The plot follows the reopening of Camp Crystal Meph, three years after the Johann Van Damme murders were stopped by a sailor cursing puppet.  No, I’m not kidding.

What should a camp smeared with the taint of bloody violence do to alter its image after its been smeared?  Open as a rehabilitation center for the criminally insane of course.  That plot makes this feel like more like a parody of FRIDAY THE 13th: A NEW BEGINNING.

Johann is safely locked up in an asylum while Crystal Meph begins its reimaging.  Head counselor Todd Boogjumper (Dave Peniuk) is the sappy nerd who weeps tears at any given moment.  His uncle Mel (Darren Andrichuk) is a man using every word in the book for verbal warfare.  Warfare saved mostly for a squirrel that won’t stop attacking Mel’s face.  Memories of Bill Murray and his war with the golf course gopher in CADDYSHACK come to mind. 

There’s Rachel Diaz (Angela Galanopoulos), love interest of Todd and also the lonely survivor of Johann’s first murderous rampage at Camp Crystal Meph.  Barry (Chris Allen) is the wheelchair bound counselor that’s really sitting there to up the offensive ante.

Johann returns to the scene of his first crimes and things get cooking.  He kills with a lightsaber, chocolate bar, toaster, plunger, and more.  He will not stop until he’s gotten his revenge.  You see his mother was decapitated at Camp Meph and he’s not happy about that.

This is the glorious trash heap of a horror film.  This is trash that knows what it is and embellishes and embraces its odoriferous emanations.  Yes, there’s gore, mostly CGI.  There are even attempts at building up tension, which are commendable.  This film though, relishes in the sleaze and disgusting humor and is better for it.  There are more laughs in this than most comedies. 

Matt Frame knows the film he’s making and doesn’t verge into unnecessary territory.  He follows the zany-crazy on display to its natural conclusion.  Utter madness.  So much so he's shamelessly plugging his flick in mad and unique ways.  

52 hours of watching CAMP DEATH straight here.

And breaking world records here.

The story in CAMP DEATH is seriously convoluted.  The actors are completely dedicated and are integral to selling what’s on screen.  Everything feels sped up to unnerving degrees, keeping you off balance as an audience. 
This is stupid humor.  I mean low brow, down in the dirt, humor.  Jokes you feel guilty laughing at, then do so anyway.  The special effects are laughable at times and reliant on CGI, yet so much better than the budget would imply.

If you’re easily offended, steer clear of this movie, though you probably need it more than most.  If you like crazy B movies that just don’t give a shit, this one’s for you.  I had a great time with CAMP DEATH III in 2D and think most of you will too!

It’s truly a nonstop thrill ride of gross and abhorrent behavior that ya can’t help but spill your guts out to.

7 out of 10 mass murderers have mommy issues

Til next time Kids

Ken Lewis (AKA: Freddy Beans)
Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/FreddyBeansWrites/

Instagram:  freddybeans13

Contact me:  freddybeans@gmail.com

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