Folks, Harry here... Man, there are some sick puppies out there in the realm of TalkBack and I love each and every single last one of yas. When I started this contest, I figured if someone somewhere thought it was a good idea to give ME a pink cheerleader sweater to give away... I might as well use it to give geeks everywhere the excuse to simply let loose with their ID... To vent their Cheerleader Angst. To exercise the frustrations that BUFFY puts into their brains... WEEKLY. This was my chance to make a contest that should never be made, to place this object into the hands of a person who should never ever ever be placed within a populated area ever. That person is going to be I.R. NAMELESS.
He has written a hidieous, wrong and vile story. A story set in Sodometropolis... A battle between Cheerleaders and Cthulu-worshipping Volleyball Gals.... A story with tentecles and the dead. This story belongs hidden from the eyes of mankind for all time, but since the same has been said about me... I figure I'll reward it. I really didn't have an idea what I was in for while reading all these... but this one made me laugh in the worst possible way... The idea of an NC-17 H.P. LOVECRAFT to be directed by Stuart Gordon Cheerleader Epic... Well, my friend do what you will to this sweater... just don't tell a soul! The author should contact me with his address and how to ship it.
This is the winning story... BEWARE: This should not be read by sane people. This story is thoroughly filthy and wrong. Under no circumstances should you attempt to raise Cthulu to do anything like this. This story is also the sole fault of the fella below! I have printed it in WHITE PIXELS so you will need to highlight to read... BUT I AM WARNING YOU... YOU CAN ONLY DO THIS IF YOU ARE 18 and OLDER or 40 and YOUNGER! Otherwise... Stay Away.
I.R. NAMELESS
In the hands of someone who knows how to use it.
This is a totally fake story, and by no means should anyone in real like attempt to emulate this story in any way. Secondly, there were no qualifications on spelling, and I don't intend to fix them then. Thirdly, no matter what is written in this story, it doesn't reflect on me as a person.
First of all, this story starts off as many stories do: With an asswhoopin'. It all takes place in a little town, just like yours, called Sodometropolis.
The cheerleaders, as they travel in packs like rabid wolves in the wilderness, attacked a recently injured female volleyball player (Lucinda) for the offense of stealing away the boyfriend (Brad) from the head cheerleader (Brandi).
Granted, nothing happened between Lucinda and Brad, the unspoken covenant between cheerleaders demanded a bloody retribution of utmost severity. Cornering the helpless, sprained ankled, Lucinda in the back of an unused hallway of the school, two of the cheerleaders stood guard as the rest of the team proceeded to violently break Lucinda's fingers and thumbs with their high heel shoes, pounding up and down, too vapid to even come up with a 'hammering some nails' quip.
After they were done with that, Brandi proceeded to personally twist each of Lucinda's wrists and ankles until a loud crack signaled their breakage. Lucinda attempted to scream, God knows she did, but was helpless to do so, as a large and fluffy pompom had been thrust into her mouth. After they were done administering their savage beating, the cheerleaders left the broken Lucinda on the floor, with the warning that if she ever told anyone, not only would she never be able to play volleyball again, but she'd never be able to walk again.
Hours later, her fellow volleyballers found her, and carried her to a nearby hospital. Explaining the situation, the volleyballers knew they had but one option left. Going to a video store, the volleyballers rented every single 'Adults Only' anime they could find. Their logic was sound, as it had been rumored that once, long ago, another group of volleyball girls had been able to decipher the hidden demonic notes within each of the tenticle/demon raping anime to summon the dark lord Cthlulu in order to totally destroy a rival team during championships. Shortly thereafter, the Univeral Sisterhood of Volleyballers declared that the knowledge of that dark secret should never be used against their own kind again and banned its use unless in the most dire of circumstances.
In order to curry favor with the Sisterhood in order to allow them the final secrets of the rites, the Sodometropolis volleyballers offered the leaders of the Sisterhood leaders a virgin cheerleader, to do with as they wish.
Moments later, with the virgin cheerleader now dead and her blood coating the walls of the inner sactum of the volleyball girls locker room, the leaders gave the final parts of the secret: A dumb jock (with either the name Todd, Troy, Trey, or Tad) to become the unholy vessel of Cthulu here upon the Earth.
Quickly finding one of those at their high school, they summoned old god, pleading with it to gather vengence upon those who dare injure one of followers.
Cthulu was as good as his word, tracking down the cheerleaders and testing the limits of their flexibility as he bent their heads backwards and proceeded to shove them up their own asses, suffocating them before the dark lord entertained himself with their dead, limber, bodies.
It was a nightmare for the school, as their championship cheerleader squad were found dead, naked, and their pompoms being crudely used to cover the multiple tenticle violations on their corpses. One poor cheerleader's body was so polluted with the old god's seed that not even burning could cleanse the earth of the stain he left behind.
In the end, they were forced to dump poor little Candi's body in a volcano on a remote island in the Atlantic, forever tainting that land for millions of years.
Finally, when Cthulu got to Brandi, he wanted to try something different and have sex with a live girl. Proceeding to ram each of his seven tenticles into various orifaces of her body (one in the front, one in the back, one in her mouth, one in each eye socket, and the final one going straight up her nostrils to rub against the wrinkles on her brain while he also enjoyed further pushing his tenticles around her insides as he had shoved so far up her ass that the tip of that tenticle was now able to tickle her tonsils and the one he shoved down her throat was now ripping apart her sphinter.
It was a good day for the old, dark god.
After his thick jets of demon seed literally flooded out of her body, causing all her flesh to swell and nearly burst open from the pressure as she was left knocked up the demonic spawn that would grow up to enslave mankind.
Cthulu took her pink sweater and used it to wipe the reek of cheerleader off his slimy, spent tenticles before he began sucking himself off, gathering his precious fluids in his mouth before mixing them with his saliva and mucus and spit out the liter of thick liquid onto the giggling, twitching, eyeless, dumb blond's face. When they finally found the Brandi the next morning, her body was floating on a pool of liquid, smelling of of both dry and wet semen that coated her body in a slimy shell.
Sadly for the blinded, giggling idiot of a violated cheerleader, she was found by the volleyball girls, who proceeded to take turns both pissing and screwing even more stupid with double ended dildo, not unlike the scene out of Requiem for a Dream, except without any sort of compassion or love involved. Finally, they wheeled Lucinda, who inserted a red hot welder's soldering iron into her vagina before the whole troupe left the scene.
