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‘Something’s Definitely Bleeding!!’
Hercules Says JUSTICE LEAGUE Is The Best DC Comics Movie Since The Nolan Boys' THE DARK KNIGHT!!

Hey Rotten Tomatoes!! Fuck You!! Learn Here What The Newspaper Critics Think Of JUSTICE LEAGUE!!

I am – Hercules!!

Justice League FAQ

Who’s responsible?
Screenplay is credited to Chris Terrio (“Argo,” “Batman V Superman”) and Joss Whedon (“Buffy The Vampire Slayer,” “Marvel’s The Avengers”). Though Whedon directed some scenes, Zack Snyder gets sole directorial credit.

What says Warner Bros.?
“Fueled by his restored faith in humanity and inspired by Superman’s selfless act, Bruce Wayne enlists the help of his newfound ally, Diana Prince, to face an even greater enemy. Together, Batman and Wonder Woman work quickly to find and recruit a team of metahumans to stand against this newly awakened threat. But despite the formation of this unprecedented league of heroes—Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Cyborg and The Flash—it may already be too late to save the planet from an assault of catastrophic proportions.”

Is it any good?

Is it better than “Wonder Woman”?

Is it better than “Thor Ragnarok”?

Is it funny?
It’s nowhere near as much a comedy as “Guardians of the Galaxy” or “Thor III,” but it definitely sports some million-dollar jokes I’m willing to ascribe to Whedon.  (I particularly enjoyed a running gag referencing a famed Stephen King work.)

How does it start?
Superman shakes hands with a firefighter. A little kid with a smartphone asks the Man of Steel to pick out his favorite thing about Earth. The Last Son of Krypton hesitates.

Is Green Lantern in this?
Hal Jordan, Guy Gardner, John Stewart, Kyle Raynor, Alan Scott and Abin Sur are not in this movie. Neither is Ryan Reynolds. But!

When does Superman show up?
Spoilers lurk in the text invisible. He returns from the dead about 45 minutes before the end of the movie. He has short hair. We do not see him get his job back at the Daily Planet.

No way this version of Barry “The Flash” Allen is as good as the one on the CW, am I right?
Ezra Miller, who plays big-screen Barry Allen, steals this movie. Miller plays The Flash as a kind of more-Jewish version of Peter Parker.

Steals the movie from Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman?
Yes, and I love Wonder Woman in this movie. Especially her introductory scene foiling terrorists. When she gives the stink-eye to the guy with the bomb-suitcase, it’s hard not to swoon.

How’s Aquaman?
Jason Momoa (formerly Khal Drago on "Game of Thrones") is funny and ingratiating as this hard-drinking American Arthur Curry.

Does Aquaman talk to fish?
Yes. The fish-talk is offscreen. The aquapowers we get to see are his ability to manipulate water and hurl a trident with admirable accuracy. Aquaman may also be as strong as Wonder Woman; every time Aquaman gets to punch the gigantic Steppenwolf, Steppenwolf goes flying.

How is “Rome” vet Ciaran Hinds as Steppenwolf?
He’s fine, but as movie superheroes go the generic Steppenwolf is not nearly as much fun as James Spader’s Ultron.

The big news?
IMDb claims the fabulous Kiersey Clemons plays Iris West in “Justice League,” but I’ll be danged if I saw her. (Amber Heard is fabulous, however, in her scene as Aquaman's future romantic interest Mera.)

What else is Warner Bros. not telling us?
There are two so-so epilogue scenes peppering the credits. The first features two characters of whom we’ve seen a lot in prior movies. The second introduces the movie version of an iconic DC character and an actor playing an iconic DC character he played in one other movie.

What else is great?
Ben Affleck as Batman, Ray Fisher as Cyborg, Amy Adams as Lois Lane and Diane Lane as Martha Kent. Also? This movie employs Danny Elfman’s Batman theme, John Williams’ Superman theme and the Wonder Woman electric guitars – plus, while you’re waiting for the final epilogue, we are treated to Gary Clark’s new heavy metal version of John Lennon’s “Come Together,” which I swear improves on the original.

“Justice League” opens Thursday night.


Rotten Tomatoes, a corporate sibling of Warner Bros. (Time Warner’s Fandango ticketing site owns 30% of Rotten Tomatoes), refuses to link to the reviews until Thursday. Fuck you, Rotten Tomatoes. If that site won’t do it on Wednesday, we will:

USA Today says:

... A better effort than Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice and a worthy follow-up to runaway hit Wonder Woman, Justice League (*** out of four) does the DC icons proud with some high-profile additions and a strong if unspectacular effort full of fun character moments. …

Entertainment Weekly says:

... First, the good news. Justice League is better than its joylessly somber dress rehearsal, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice. Now the “but”…you knew there was a “but” coming, right? But it also marks a pretty steep comedown from the giddy highs of Wonder Woman. …

Rolling Stone says:

... For those who loathe Zack Snyder's Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, and they are legion, Justice League will be just the corrective followup they're looking for. … Snyder still gets solo director billing on Justice League, with the former Buffy creator sharing a screenplay credit with Chris Terrio, but the upbeat tone of the movie – snappy patter blending with action unburdened by subtext – is definitely Whedonesque. …

The New York Times says:

... “Justice League,” the newest DC Comics superhero jam directed by Zack Snyder, is looser, goosier and certainly more watchable than the last one. The bar could scarcely have been lower given that the previous movie, “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice,” was such an interminable slog. … Mr. Snyder remains regrettably committed to a dark, desaturated palette that borders on the murky, and this movie’s chaotic, unimaginative action scenes can drag on forever. But the touches of humor in “Justice League” lighten the whole thing tonally and are a relief after the dirgelike “Batman v Superman,” which he ran into the ground with a two-and-a-half-hour running time. (“Justice League” clocks in at a not-exactly fleet two hours.) Written by Chris Terrio and Joss Whedon, the new movie shows a series that’s still finding its footing as well as characters who, though perhaps not yet as ostensibly multidimensional as Marvel’s, may be more enduring (and golden). It has justice, and it has banter. And while it could have used more hanging out, more breeziness, it is a start. …

The Los Angeles Times says:

... Though Snyder's somber template is very much in place (he and Terrio share story credit), Whedon has loosened and humanized the story's tone to allow for engaging moments of humor and fun, especially from Ezra Miller's the Flash. …

The Chicago Sun-Times says:

... It’s a putting-the-band-together origins movie, executed with great fun and energy. …

The Chicago Tribune says:

... It's just a shame that the resulting film is a chaotic, baffling mess. … Snyder brought a level of darkness and nihilism to this franchise, so it's very, very strange that "Justice League" is as quippy as it is. No doubt this is due to the presence of Whedon, who takes a screenwriting credit, but it just does not fit with Snyder's dour takes on the characters. …

The Seattle Times says:

… Only the super-speedy Flash, played by Ezra Miller, lightens up the proceedings. Miller’s goofy eager-beaver take on the character, very reminiscent of Tom Holland’s Spider-Man, is the picture’s saving grace. Whenever he shows up, slyly mocking his sobersided compatriots, or just gleefully geeking out at being in the presence of these superhero stalwarts, “Justice League” suddenly feels 10 tons lighter. The feeling doesn’t last long though. Not with Snyder cranking up epic CG battle sequences with numbing regularity, heavy (and I do mean heavy) with thunderous, fiery explosions delivered at ear-shattering volume. …

The Boston Globe says:

... Justice League may play well to hardcore DC cognoscenti, but if you’re not a fan, the movie’s failings are easy to enumerate. First off, the villain’s a dud. …

The Arizona Republic says:

... The filmmakers behind “Justice League,” the D.C. answer to Marvel’s “Avengers” all-star adventures, heard the criticism about “Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice” and “Suicide Squad,” and remembered the humor this time around. Unfortunately they forgot just about everything else. That includes a coherent plot and an interesting villain. … The good news is the addition of characters like Aquaman (Jason Momoa) and Flash (Ezra Miller), who add laughs as they learn to play well with other superheroes. …

The Toronto Globe and Mail says:

... the plodding Justice League, a movie that will only solidify DCEU's reputation as something less than the Avengers franchise, desperately needs to move on …

The Hollywood Reporter says:

... this hodgepodge throws a bunch of superheroes into a mix that neither congeals nor particularly makes you want to see more of them in future. Plainly put, it's simply not fun. …

Variety says:

... The film is the definition of an adequate high-spirited studio lark: no more, no less. If fans get excited about it, that may mostly be because they’re excited about getting excited. Yet the movie is no cheat. It’s a tasty franchise delivery system that kicks a certain series back into gear. …

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