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I am – Hercules!!

Previously. On “Game of Thrones”:

* Jaime and Bronn watched the Dothraki and the Unsullied gather outside King’s Landing.

* “You know who’s coming for you. You’ve always known.” The Hound told the Mountain.

* Cersei shut Euron up, then met a zombie.

* Qyburn, who once created a zombie, examined the zombie’s animated hand with what appeared to be wonder.

* “Can they swim?” asked Euron, who then appeared to flee.

* Cersei accepted the truce, but demanded Jon Snow not take sides. “I cannot serve two queens,” said Jon, queering the deal.

* “Perhaps you’ll remember I chose to help,” Cersei said, fake agreeing to help fight the zombies.

* Baelish tried to convince Sansa to betray Jon and execute Arya.

* Theon contested the idea that his sister Yara was dead.

* Winterfell learned Baelish sent the assassin to kill Bran.

* Cersei told Jaime that Euron will ferry the 20,000-man Golden Company to Westeros. Gregor Clegane did not kill Jaime as Jaime walked away.

* Sam and Bran compared notes and discovered Jon’s true heritage gave him a better claim to the Iron Throne than Dany’s. “Robert’s Rebellion was built on a lie.”

* Dany and Jon/Aegon rubbed their Targaryen privates together.

* “I miss him,” confirmed Arya.

* A zombie dragon literally blew a hole in The Wall.


Previously. On “Twin Peaks.”

* Audrey does not appear in the final two episodes. We never learn why Carl Rodd saw the dead boy’s soul turn into a yellow mist. We never learn the name of the jailed drunk. We never really learn who Billy is. The fates of Harry Truman and Tom Paige were not revealed.

* A quarter century ago, Garland Briggs shared with Gordon Cole and Dale Cooper the discovery of an entity called “Jiào Dé” or “Judy.” (Was Judy the “experiment” who birthed Bob? Did Cooper meet Judy while she inhabited Sarah Palmer? Did Grace Zabriskie play the voice of Fake Jeffries in episode two?)

* Bushnell tells Gordon that Cooper is headed for the Twin Peaks Sheriff’s Department.

* Ben Horne learns brother Jerry found his way to Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

* “Cooper” found his way to where the Twin Peaks lawmen found Naido, where he was sucked up into the White Lodge with Garland Briggs and The Fireman, then deposited just outside the Twin Peaks Sheriff’s Department. “What is this?” asked “Cooper.”

* “Cooper” refused Andy’s offer of coffee.

* Chad escaped, but his effort to kill Andy was thwarted by Freddie’s Mighty Green Glove.

* “It’s a very important phone call, Sheriff,” Lucy told Frank Truman. As “Cooper” drew his gun on Truman, Lucy shot “Cooper” dead.

* Frank, Hawk, James and Freddie watched as Homeless Gremlins attempt to revive “Cooper.” Cooper arrives. The Bob Bubble emerged from “Cooper.” The Brothers Mitchum enter. Freddie punches the Bob Bubble through Frank’s floor, where it emits hellish flames.

* Bits of the broken Bob Bubble floated up through Frank’s ceiling.

* Cooper put the Green Owl Ring on “Cooper,” who vanished.

* Cooper retrieves his Great Northern Key from Frank, then seems to notice Naido for the first time. Cooper’s face is superimposed over the action.

* “What’s going on around here?” asks Bobby Briggs. “Took the fucking words right out of my mouth,” replies Bradley Mitchum.

* Gordon, Albert and Tammy arrive. “Now there are some things that will change,” says Cooper. “The past dictates the future.”

* “Frank, give my regards to Harry,” says Cooper.

* Cooper and Naido touch hands. Naido’s face turns into the Red Room. Naido turns into a readheaded Diane, who kisses Cooper. It’s 2:53.

* “We live inside a dream,” Cooper’s superimposed head declares.

* “I hope I see all of you again,” Cooper declares. “Every one of you.”

* The room darkens. “Gordon?” “Coop!”

* Cooper, Diane and Gordon emerge into a dark space.

* Cooper’s superimposed face vanishes.

* Cooper uses his key to unlock a door and tells Diane and Cooper not to follow him. “See you at the curtain call,” he tells them.

* One-Armed Mike, speaking forward, recites the Fire Walk With Me poem. Mike and Coop follow the route to Phillip Jeffries Neti Pot.

* “Please be specific,” implores Jeffries, as if he were the Guardian of Forever. “The date: February 23, 1989.” “I’ll find it for you. It’s slippery in here. It’s good to see you again, Cooper. Say hello to Gordon if you see him. He’ll remember the unofficial version. This is where you’ll find Judy. There may be someone. Did you ask me this?”

* Jeffries spits out the ring symbol, which becomes an “8.” “There it is. You can go in now. Cooper, remember,” says Jeffries. “Electricity,” says Mike.

* Laura climbs James’ motorbike as Leland looks on. James parks. Cooper manifests behind a rock. “I love you, James!” screams Laura before fleeing. Leo Johnson, Jaques Renault lie in wait, and so does Dale Cooper. “Do I know you?” asks Laura. “Wait, I’ve seen you in a dream.” Laura takes Cooper’s hand and her future corpse vanishes. “We’re going home,” Cooper tells her.

* Josie Packard applies makeup. Pete Martell goes fishing. Sarah Palmer beats on Laura’s portrait.

* Laura disappears as Cooper leads her, then screams.

* Julee Cruise sings.

* “Cooper” burns. Mike makes a new Dougie out of Cooper’s hair. “Where am I,” asks the tulpa. The tulpa “reunites” with Sunny Jim and Janey-E. “Home,” he declares.

* “Is it future or is it past?” Mike asks Cooper, then leads Cooper to “the arm.” Laura whispers in Cooper’s ear, then screams and vanishes upward. “Find Laura,” Leland tells Cooper.

* Cooper exits The Lodge and finds Diane waiting for him in the woods. “Is it you? Is it really you?” “Yes, it’s really me, Diane. Is it really you?” “Yeah.”

* Cooper and Diane ride along in an old car on a deserted desert highway. “You sure you want to do this?” asks Diane. “You don’t know what it’s going to be like once we …” “I know that,” replies Cooper. “We’re at that point now. I can feel it. Look. Almost exactly 430 miles. Exactly 430 miles.” “Just think about it, Cooper.” “This is the place alright. Kiss me. Once we cross it could all be different.” “Let’s go.”

* Day turns to night. An old car pulls into an old motel. Diane sees herself. Room 7. “Turn off the light.” The Platters. Boning. (100% Cooper seems to enjoy sex less than his Dougie version.)

* “Dear Richard: When you read this I’ll be gone. Please don’t try to find me. I don’t recognize you anymore. Whatever it was we had together is over. Linda. Richard. Linda.” (In episode one The Fireman said Cooper should remember Richard and Linda.)

* Newer hotel. Newer car.

* Odessa. Judy’s Coffee Shop. “Is there another waitress who works here?” “Yeah. It’s her day off.” “Leave her alone.” “Get the fuck out of that booth.” “I don’t have a gun.” “Write the address of the other waitress on a piece of paper.” “I don’t know if the oil is hot enough to set off those bullets.” “What the fuck just happened?”

* “You didn’t find him?” “Laura.” “Carrie Page.” “Riding with the FBI might just save my ass.” “It’s a ways away.” White horse. “Take a coat if you’ve got one.”

* Cooper (Richard?) shows Carrie his FBI badge. “Is someone following us?” “Odessa. I tried to keep a clean house. Keep everything organized. It’s a long way. Those days I was too young to know any better.” (Valero Energy was founded Jan. 1, 1980.)

* “FBI. I’m Special Agent Dale Cooper. Is Sarah Palmer here?” “Who?” “Sarah Palmer.” “No, there’s no one here by that name.” “Do you know Sarah Palmer?” “No.” “Do you own this house or do you rent this house?” “Yes, we own this house.” “Who did you buy it from?” “Honey, what was the name of the woman who sold us the house? Chalfont, a Mrs. Chalfont.” “Do you happen to know who she bought it from?” “No.” “What is your name?” “Alice. Alice Tremont.”

* “What year is this?” “Laura!”


If you have questions about "Game of Thrones," "Twin Peaks," "The Orville," "It," "The Deuce" "Top of the Lake" or anything else, Herc and Ralph Bailey could be talking about them starting at 4:30 p.m. PT on the Friday edition of “The Ralph Bailey Show,” which you can listen to LIVE by hitting the “Listen Live” button at

Best of all, you, constant reader, can join this very nerdy conversation.

Ralph’s toll-free call-in line is:

Call in drunk, as I always do, but watch your language. This is not a podcast. This monster goes out over the air on all 50,000 watts of Southern California’s KERN-AM (NewsTalk 1180!) and KERN-FM (The New 96.1!).

In addition! Emily Horrorella and Hercules Strong will address a vast array of topics on Saturday Night’s “Count The Screaming Argonauts” periscast, which one can find around 9 p.m. PT by visiting the @hercAICN Twitter feed.

Want to listen to old episodes of KERN-FM's Herc-hosted “Nerd World Report”? Head over to The Nerd World Report archives!!


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