Movie News

Quint's Holiday Gift Guide 2013 Part 3! Geeky Housewares and Apparel!

Published at: Nov. 28, 2013, 11:15 a.m. CST by quint

 

CLICK HERE FOR THE HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE 2013 PART 1: BLU, DVD, VIDEO GAMES, BOARD GAMES and GEEK ART!

CLICK HERE FOR THE HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE 2013 PART 2: BOOKS, SOUNDTRACKS, COMEDY and CONTESTS!

CLICK HERE FOR THE HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE 2013 PART 4: COLLECTIBLES, TOYS, ORNAMENTS and RICH STUFF!



Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with Part 3. I'm extending the Guide a bit, so there will be one more section coming sometime Friday evening/Saturday morning at the latest.

Below you're going to find geek housewares and apparel and tomorrow I'll finish it off with a bang with collectibles, toys and the ever popular Rich Stuff.





HOUSEWARES





I've folded a few things into housewares this year. Lots of gadgets and a food stuff or two. It seemed a better fit to include them together instead of giving them their own categories. Let's do this!



Cheap ($24.99 and under)



 

 

Let's kick things off with a Gameboy themed flask. Hell, yeah! Party's already starting! This stainless steel flask holds 8ozs and if you use it right you can drink in public... if you're caught just start pretending to play it. If that doesn't work... well, then you're probably going to jail. So, don't do that. Bad idea. $19.99.

 

 

Now that's a nice pint glass. Big Al tells me it's a limited edition and worth at least $300... but he also says dogs can't look up, so I wouldn't pay much attention to his bullshit. $9.99.

 

 

Now you can drink out of Colin Barker (The Sixth Doctor)'s head, just as Jesus intended you to do. $21.25.

 

 

Your eyes do not deceive you. That is a coffee mug that you can build Legos on. In other words it's the best thing man has ever invented. Sorry, Steve Jobs, Nikola Tesla and Henry Ford.$22.95.

 

 

Everybody buy MODOK. He is on sale and badass and such a cute little guy! $4.49.

 

 

This coffee cup plays Tetris with itself when you pour hot liquid in it. Selfish. Some people like to play Tetris, too, but I guess we'll just stand here drinking our coffee while you have all the fun, cup. $10.78.

 

 

Control Alt Delete Cups. Oh yeah. This is going to go over well at the office. $6.10.

 

 

”Oh, that's a nice normal black mug you've got there, Linda. What are you drink-OHFUCKINGCHRIST! Damn it, Linda! Don't do that to me!” $9.99.

 

 

It's Picard's favorite! And now officially licensed! $17.59.

 

 

This is a tea infuser. For my non-tea drinking friends all the proper upper crust folk drink leaves, but not straight up. That'd be gross. What they do is shove them into one of these things, which lets the water pull all the flavor of nature out without getting leaves stuck in your teeth. This Death Star infuser comes with a little TIE fighter on a chain so you can pull up that gross clump of soggy leaves. I hope that's close to right because I'm not a tea drinker. I decided to wing it. The whole internet at my disposal? Fuck it, I'm gonna guess at it! $19.99.

 

 

Awwww... too soon, tea people, too soon. $10.99.

 

 

This tea infuser is so cool it makes me want to make myself like the taste of tea. It can be used for any kind of tea, but the full effect is had when using a red tea in a clear glass. That gives it the blood shark attack look. $15.50.

 

 

Did someone say Jaws Bottle Opener? I think I may be interested... GIVE IT TO ME NOW GODDAMNIT I NEED IT! $24.99.

 

 

There have been some pop caps that have been so stubborn I needed the power of the Infinite Gauntlet to access the delicious beverage contained within. Now Diamond Select is releasing an Infinite Gauntlet bottle opener, so all future stubborn cap problems are instantly solved... as long as Thanos doesn't come looking for his precious gauntlet... didn't think about that... hrmm... $15.99.

 

 

The Death Star has the power to cause a million voices to cry out at once. It's no moon, but it will pop the cap on that brewskie, brah. That's still how douchebags talk these days, right? $15.51.

 

 

Why go cubed when you get spherical ice cubes? And why go with ordinary round ice cubes when you can create the ultimate weapon in the galaxy to chill your Coke Zero? $10.95.

 

 

While I really like the Carbonite Han Solo one, I think these are the best looking of the specialty mold ice cube craze. Maybe because the Companion Cubes are already... well, cubed, so they look right. $17.03.

 

 

Back to the Future Ice Cubes! Yes! Wait, wait! If we can get an OUTATIME license plate ice cube, how far away are we from a KFBR392 ice cube mold? $14.99.

 

 

That's not a Rubik's Cube, that's a stack of coasters! Good idea! $19.99.

 

 

I don't know what a monitor mate is, but this is a Borg one. I do know that it's not smart to plug the Borg into your computer... $12.33.

 

 

I'm so tempted to get this for my guest bathroom, but I don't know what scenario could come up where a glow in the dark toilet paper would surprise anybody. I assume they're not wiping in the dark... they'd probably just think I'm giving them the cheap thin toilet paper and saving the nice cushy TP for myself. Still, I love that this exists. $2.20.

 

 

NES-style retro pillows! You get both with this package deal. The only way it'd be cooler is if they could actually have pillows for real NES games. $24.99.

 

 

One of the more popular items on the guide last year is now on sale for a very low price. Turn any light switch into this arcade switcher system that plays arcade sounds when you press the buttons. This one fits over any regular light switch with a simple screw removal. No messing with wires required! $7.49.

 

 

Why be stuck with the same boring old light switches everyone else has when you can get this kit that lets you transform any switch into a big red panic button? The new panic button can be pressed for on and off or used as a dimmer. Nifty! $24.99.

 

 

You recognize that image, of course. It's Buzz Aldrin's footprint left on the moon. Why is it here? Well, my friends, that's a doormat. What a great idea, right? To make it even cooler, it's a doormat printed to be 1:1 with the actual size of the footprint up there on the moon so you and your guests can see how your imprint lines up! $19.99.

 

 

You get two magnetic pages filled with 1” cubes that allow you to build your own Minecraft space on your fridge. I can't think of Minecraft without flashing on that recent South Park episode, which let me know I'm officially old because I tried playing Minecraft for about 45 minutes and just gave up. Probably a good thing, though, because I need another video game addiction as much as I need an asshole on my elbow. Actually, that would come in pretty handy, wouldn't it? $16.54.

 

 

Would I wear this? No comment. $14.87.

 

 

Next 4th of July, man your meat pit with the swagger of Errol Flynn with this swashbuckling BBQ sword. Show them brats who's boss around these parts! $22.95.

 

 

This is not only the geekiest spatula I've ever seen it's also the most advanced. It has moving parts! Somewhere Weird Al is crapping his pants in delight. $24.99.

 

 

I put this light-up, talking R2-D2 lunch bag on the guide last year, but he was so popular he sold out right away. So, if you missed out you have another shot at the little guy. $16.99.

 

 

This here doo-dad is a lightsaber room light that you can turn and off via remote, which means no electrician experience needed. Just mount this puppy on the wall and hit the button to ignite the saber and light the room in one of 8 colors. Since this is Luke's RotJ lightsaber that color has to be green or you fail at being a Star Wars geek. $20.99.

 

 

Don't worry, it's just a decal! Someone didn't just critical hit your Nissan's window! You can easily slip this sucker on and off. It'd definitely make and impression and let people know you're more than likely on your way to the local tabletop/comic combo store. $19.95.

 

 

Pac-Man wants to om-nom-nom your papers together for you! How nice of him! $9.76.

 

 

Kinda small, but whatever. R2-D2 beeps and bloops at you when you give him money. Oh my God! They've turned R2 into a whore! Damn you, Lucas! Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? $20.54.

 

 

Much like R2, the coolest aspect of this Space Invaders piggy bank is that it actually makes arcade noises when you put your pocketful of coins into a rainy day fund. $14.99.

 

 

What does every gamer need more than anything else? Soap, of course. And that's just what you're looking at. These controllers don't really control anything except for BO. An enterprising Etsy artist has done some amazing work with these. Very, very cool and unique gifts. This same artist also made soap N64, Gameboy and NES games, including a golden Legend of Zelda. Click above to visit the page and check them out. Most are between $5.00-$16.00.

 

 

Wait, beer soap's really a thing? I guess so. Thinkgeek has PBR and Blue Moon beer soaps available. Call me old fashioned, but I thought the shower was where you went to stop smelling like beer. $4.99.

 

 

Those wacky guys at Thinkgeek have another awesome little exclusive here: a Gameboy beach towel... Oh, I'm sorry a “Beachboy” towel. I think Nintendo's lawyers' ears all perked up. Nothing to see here! But it is really cool. Shhhh. $19.99.

 

 

This vibrating Sonic Screwdriver toothbrush is perfect for the little Whovian in your household. Is there anything the Sonic Screwdriver can't do? $24.99.

 

 

Portal fans will love this item which just edges past being a plain old Logo Shower Curtain by making sure there's small print actually on the curtain letting the bather know there's less than 1% Mercury in there. I heart you, Portal. $22.98.



Moderate ($25.00-$70.99)



 

 

Listen, offering a shower curtain that is the original Star Trek transporter room is already genius, but what pushes this over is that they're selling this paired with a the transporter platform bathmat pushes this over into pure geek bliss. $49.99.

 

 

In this world exists officially licensed Dark Crystal perfumes. For real! They're all $26 and you get a choice of scents. The one above is skekNa and is described as “The essence of vile gluttony: an abundance of spices, sweet cakes, thick creams, and opulent liqueurs mixed with the scent of whip leather and rusted padlocks.” There's three other Skeksis fragrances. I have no idea how they actually smell... I'm still trying to wrap my head around the fact that these exist. $26.00.

 

 

Bubble Genius specialize in all kinds of soaps. This basket gathers some of their nerdiest stuff, like pie-scented Pi symbol soap, glow in the dark Uranium soap and even little soap robots. So, if you have a super nerdy friend who is constantly stinky (odds are if you do, they are), then this is a good way to float a hint their way. $35.00.

 

 

There are 6'-ish long Tardis related rugs. The above is my favorite, but if you click through you'll also see one that's just the front of the Tardis. There's a ton of Who stuff out there that looks like that, though, so why not go for something more artistic and cool like the “Exploding Tardis” design? $62.99.

 

 

I love this rug! Simple, elegant, geeky and non-slip to boot. 39X71 inches of pure Trek geekery. $55.99.

 

 

That is a bonafide Breaking Bad fleece throw blanket, measuring 50x60. And it is also the danger in case you missed that part. Damn, I already miss Walter and the show's only been over for a couple months. Now you can have him in your house forever and he'll keep you warm! Also, if you hear a knocking at your door, I'm pretty sure you'll know who is there. $29.95.

 

 

I don't advise buying these, actually. Sixty bucks is way too much for two 12” throw pillows, but the idea of doing a pair of Breaking Bad periodic element throw pillows was too cool not to include in the guide. If you feel the money is worth it, then by all means. This one, for me, would purely be a window shopping addition to the guide. $59.99.

 

 

Yep, that's a Doctor Who Sonic Screwdriver lamp. That's certainly what that is. For sure. $51.98.

 

 

Ha! So I see Neca has decided to do a Christmas Story/Wizard of Oz mash up. This major award is slightly less sexy, though. That poor Wicked Witch of the East will always be known for her striped granny stockings... $38.99.

 

 

Kids love Star Wars, kids love Legos, so it stands to reason that they'll lose their ever-loving minds for this Lego Darth Vader lamp. Hell, I think it's cool and I'm an ancient 32 years old! $35.32.

 

 

There's four Star Wars themed bar stools out there. Boba's above, but you can also get a Stormtrooper stool and a Darth Vader as well. $58.50 or you can get the set of 4 (the three above and a Star Wars logo stool) at a slight discount, $218.40.

 

 

I have nothing snarky to say about these. I think they're awesome. These sci-fi themed door decals are designed to be laid over your regular old doors (without damaging it) and turn them into something completely new. The guns one I could take or leave, but I love, love, love the air lock decal. The biolab one is swell, too. You have your choice of any one for $64.99.

 

 

Now you can turn your boring doors into the entrance to the Tardis with this door cling. Come to think of it, this would actually be a great thing to put on the door leading into the garage... It measures 36x80 so measure your doors before buying. $55.48.

 

 

Here's a little teapot, short and stout, here is the handle, here is the-ah, forget it. I don't know Doctor Who well enough to think up a funny twist to the rhyme that didn't just have me typing EXTERMINATE over and over again. It's a Tardis teapot, which could possibly be the most British thing to ever be created. Do what you will with that information. $33.50.

 

 

I'm going to pretend that these Stargate Coasters are from the movie because the thought of Kurt Russell grabbing my Diet Mountain Dew from the other side is much cooler than Richard Dean Anderson. $29.99.

 

 

I don't know why, but I'm always intrigued by these gimmick toasters that burn a pattern into your bread. I kind of love the concept even if it means you have to eat burned toast... That's a small price to pay for the luxury of eating the Spider-Man logo with your eggieweggies. $33.26.

 

 

I may be wrong, but isn't Domo literally a turd with eyes and a mouth? Isn't that the origins of the character? I'm pretty sure it is. So that means this is an appliance made to look like poop that imprints a fecal character onto your toast. In other words, that means this is fucking awesome. $37.89.

 

 

Technically this is a generic Crusader's helmet trash bin, but I got a distinct Monty Python and the Holy Grail vibe from it and that's why I included it. Maybe if you throw in some limbs around it you can pretend you're throwing away your junk mail into the head of the Black Knight. $41.99.

 

 

These custom made Big Lebowski Egg Holders really tie the kitchen together, do they not? I guess technically these are art pieces, but as functional kitchenware I hereby decree they belong in this section of the guide! This is an Etsy find. When I stumbled across them I was kind of stunned. I'd love to know how someone got to the place where they were like “Do you know what the world needs? More egg holders. God, I love The Big Lebowski. I can quote that movie all day long... wait a minute... egg holders... Big Lebowski... I wonder...” Don't get me wrong, I'm happy these exist and they're going to make somebody very, very happy. $50.00.



Expensive ($71.00-$249.99)



 

 

A few years back some incredibly smart foodie thought that the Starship Enterprise was perfectly shaped to be a pizza cutter and they made it and you know what? It was awesome and worked perfectly. Now they've decided that wasn't decadent enough and have put out a limited edition 24k gold plated Enterprise Pizza Cutter. It's on sale, over half off and will run you $84.99.

 

 

Another Tardis! But what does this one do? Funny you should ask! This Tardis is actually a mini-fridge. This one isn't bigger than it looks like on the inside, though. It only holds a sixer, but still. It's a Tardis fridge. $104.99.

 

 

If your lawn has a lack of zombies then your plants are probably aimlessly just growing and soaking up the sun, bored out of their minds. We all know now that plants are natures way of defending against a zombie apocalypse, but I'm afraid most plants are woefully out of shape and won't be ready for when that day does come. Thankfully you can buy these zombie and peashooter plant statues to act as inspiration for your lawn growth, give them something to strive for... a symbol. $64.99 gets you a Peashooter Plant and a Zombie.

 

 

Hey, it's our good friend the Taun Taun sleeping bag! This guy debuted a few years ago after the consumer response to an April Fool's joke about this particular piece of merchandise was resoundingly “Ahahahah. But seriously, I'd buy that.” Thinkgeek is putting them on sale right now for under a hundred bucks, so I figured it was time to dust off this classic and throw it in the guide once again. $99.99.

 

 

You have a whole lot of options if you want to deck your car out as a Star Wars mobile. These giant are essentially giant stickers that can peel on and off without damaging your car. Your options are R2, Vader and the above pictured X-Wing/TIE fighter combo. All of them are $148.49.

 

 

Oh, that's a pretty little glass X-Wing. Is that an art piece? It is handmade, yes, but before you think it's a pretty thing that Gran-Gran might like on her trinket shelf you should probably know it's made for a very specific purpose. It's a pipe. A tobacco pipe. “Tobacco.” Pipe. Something tells me this one isn't officially licensed by Lucasfilm or Disney... If you like smoking your... tobacco... from a geeky pipe click the above and visit her store. Doctor Who, Nightmare Before Christmas and many more handmade pipes. The X-Wing pictured above runs $80.00.

 

 

Did you know that at one point we were going to see where Darth Vader lived? Was it in a deep, dark pit somewhere near fire and burnt rock? Nope. I'd imagine he wouldn't like fire, lava and that stuff after, you know... his “accident.” Nope, Ralph McQuarrie illustrated a concept of Darth Vader's mountaintop castle and only partially completed it. Artist Paul Bateman finished the piece and now it's slapped on the side of a fancy beer stein. And it looks awesome! $74.99.

 

 

This might seem out of place in a geeky Holiday Gift Guide, but give me a second. You've probably seen or heard about these Nest thermostats by now, but if you haven't they're essentially the kind of future shit you were trained to expect. One, they look like something out of 2001 with quiet blue light that senses when you're near and lights up for you. The Nest is easy to use and essentially programs itself, learning your preferred temps just by you using it. You can also remotely adjust the temperature from any smart phone or computer, whether you're out of the house or just too lazy to get out of bed to turn turn the air con up. Everybody I know that has one of these is in love with it and have told me, to the person, that it has already paid for itself with the money it saves on the energy bill. Just don't ask it to sing you Daisy and you'll be okay. $249.00.



For The Super Rich Only ($250.00 and up)



 

 

You don't have a real home theater until you can pop your own popcorn for real. Great investment... show a movie to 5 or 6 friends every weekend and charge them theater prices for the popcorn. You'll pay off your house, your car and all your student loans by next Christmas! $245.74.





APPAREL





Apparel's always a little tough... So many of my favorite geek shirt places are daily deal sites like TeeFury and ShirtPunch, but their appeal is that you check in everyday and see something new that can only be purchased for that day, which makes it a bit difficult to include them in a guide like this. So, click through, bookmark them and check in every day. I guarantee you're geek fancy will be tickled sooner or later.

However, I did dig up a few geeky things that you would wear or keep on your person. Let's see some nerdy clothes and accessories!



Cheap ($24.99 and under)



 

 

If you want to make sure your business contacts know you mean business, then offer up your business card in the well-protected, but frozen remains of one of the galaxy's most well known smugglers. Stare them in the eye and make sure they know they could be next if they don't play ball. And that's how you make your first million. No need to thank me, but I do get 10% of your business for life. $19.99.

 

 

Patience, we'll get to the stuff you can wear soon enough, but we gotta start with Fido. If you have a dog, odds are he or she is a big dog-nerd, too. All the jock dogs in the neighborhood are always laughing at yours and kicking sand in their dog faces and stuff. But your dog doesn't care. They're proud of their geekiness and they've been trying to psychically tell you so (that's how they really communicate, you know). Unless you're incredibly receptive odds are you haven't been getting these communiques, so I'm here to tell you they want this R2-D2 collar. Who's a good geek dog? Who's a good geek dog! You're a good geek dog! $8.99.

 

 

Made from the original molds used to create the communicator badges featured in Star Trek: The Next Generation, this badge can go on any shirt thanks to magnets (bitch), so no pinholes. It's also made with super shiny metal, not that regular dull metal horsecrap. $16.99.

 

 

No, that's not the results of your cat telling you how pissed off he is that you let the litter box get a little full. Those are Tribble slippers that actually purr at you when you walk in them. Cute. A little disturbing, but still cute. $23.95.

 

 

Marvel socks! You get all three (plus the right foot sock for each, I'd imagine... if not, then this is a scam, watch out!) styles with your purchase. So now your feet can smell like Wolverine, Spider-Man and Iron Man. $13.99.

 

 

Most of us aren't blessed with huge callused hairy feet, so this is as close to real Hobbit feet that we're going to get. Essentially these are toe socks with hairy tops to make you look Shirefolk when shuffling around the house. I approve, but just know that when wearing these you'll want Second Breakfasts, strawberries and nice crispy bacon. $13.99.

 

 

Bilbo's button! It's kind of a replica, but also a for real button you can sew onto something, so it counts as apparel. Don't give me that! This is my guide, I do what I want! $10.99.

 

 

Fright Rags have this image on a t-shirt. Listen, I love me some Karate Kid, but if you're going to be wearing William Zabka on your chest you're just inviting violence against your person, right? Don't get me wrong, he's an awesome character actor, but he's sooooo good at playing douchebags that wearing this shirt just might trigger some adolescent memory buried deep in some '80s kid and before you know it BAM, you're crane-kicked in the face. It's up to you to decide if this cool design is worth the potential of being laid the fuck out. $21.95.

 

 

You can use this Aperture Science/Portal Wallet for many things including purchasing delicious moist cake and it can go anywhere you travel, even Black Mesa. Haha, fat chance. $19.99.

 

 

These Portal earrings are so awesome. Ladies, if you're on the market and looking for one of us highly sought after in-demand video game enthusiasts then this is what you wear to signal to us that you desire to be wooed and courted. $11.99.

 

 

This is quite possibly the sexiest thing I have ever seen. Pair them with the earrings above? I'm going to need a moment guys... $10.99-$12.99.

 

 

What are you looking at me for? You're the one who insisted on wearing the Portal panties and earrings combo, so it's really your fault we're in this situation... Yes, that's a loading bar maternity dress. Appropriate, no? $22.99.

 

 

First the sexy nerd panties, then the maternity dress and now the baby onesie. It's the geek reproductive cycle as taught to us in sex ed. This Babe With The Power onesie is awesomely geeky. Just be careful that a crazy man with frizzy hair and an extra large codpiece doesn't show up to take your baby away. I mean, you should be careful around a man like that anyway, but especially when a baby is involved, don't you think? $12.99.

 

 

More onesies for the little geek. You can choose between Superman, Wonder Woman (for girls, duh), Batman (on second thought dressing up your kid as Batman might be tempting fate a bit... stay away from plays in Gotham is all I'm saying), The Flash and Green Lantern (for the alien babies, duh). $18.99.



Moderate ($25.00-$70.99)



 

 

I can't believe how fast our little guy has grown up. It seems like only a few items back in the guide we were pregnant. How time flies! This Batman raincoat is pretty adorable, I have to say. Meant for kids 2-7, this one will keep the little tike dry while he's out saving the schoolyard from kid Joker. Oh, and you only get the raincoat when you buy this. The kid doesn't come with the order. Not so fast, Angelina! $34.95-$49.95.

 

 

Glowing Arc Reactor Iron Man shirts are old hat now (what amazing times we live in), but this one's the fanciest one I've seen. Modeled after Tony Stark's shirt in Iron Man 3 and powered by 3AAA batteries you can totally be just like Robert Downey Jr. now. Exactly like him. Like creepy twin close. $34.99.

 

 

It's closing in on winter, so maybe that flimsy little shirt isn't all that practical, so here's this hoodie. It doesn't light up, but you can zip it all the way up to the top and probably not see anything, but you're cool because they made it look like Iron Man's helmet when you do it... $45.89.

 

 

Okay, that looks ridiculous. I'm sorry I included it now, but I've already done all the coding work, so I hope someone out there really wants to look like Optimus Prime after he got his head stuck in that machine that killed the terminator. $53.98.

 

 

ED-209: The Hoodie! It's available for pre-order. If you want one, click the link above. You have ten seconds to comply. $49.99.

 

 

Ladies can have geeky hoodies, too! This one's... Lady Spock, I guess? Whatever, it works. You get a hood with Vulcan ears, what more do you want? $50.00.

 

 

Is it just me or does this Chewbacca hoodie look really warm and comfortable? It's the fur, I think. I can't tell you how much of a kick I get out of seeing these super serious male models posing in this ridiculous geek shit. That guy up there is miserable. $63.39.

 

 

Our Blue Steel friend is back, this time seriously rocking an R2-D2 hoodie. How excited he is! $48.97.

 

 

Gandalf has a hoodie, too, complete with pointy hat. For being a wizard inspired hoodie it's actually pretty subtle. I dig it. We're all done with hoodies! Rejoice! Cue all the NASA employees throwing papers in the air, high fiving and hugging each other. $59.99.

 

 

Some lucky lady is going to get preciouses and she's gonna jam them through her ears to keep them safe from pursuing agents of Sauron. Good call, Lady Baggins! $49.00.

 

 

A Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shell backpack that comes with all four masks. If this had come out in 1989 I would have done any amount of household upkeep to win brownie points with mom in order to ensure I'd get this under the tree. I would have walked into that elementary school with my masked head held high and then promptly made fun of by the cool kids who were into sports. $39.95.

 

 

Now you can proudly display your devotion to the one who sits in the Iron Throne by wearing this Hand of the King Polo shirt! Go ahead and puff your chest out and flaunt it. What's the worst that could happen to the Hand of the King? $34.99.

 

 

I like these shirts because you can be stealthy with your geekiness. Imagine holding a conversation with some accountant in the country club and seeing his eyes drift down about 15 minutes into your conversation about whether or not the Iran deal was a good idea or not and the look of confusion on his face when he realizes the well-dressed gentlemen he has been talking to is actually a fucking nerd with Boba Fett's head on his tit, not some socially acceptable thing like an alligator. Gotcha, dick! $34.99-$36.99.

 

 

That beauty is a limited edition Fright Rags Box set that includes a limited run of that image on a shirt as well as some other goodies, including a prismatic Snake sticker, a cloth eyepatch, a replica of the original one-sheet and a giant temporary tattoo of a snake that you can put on your belly just like Mr. Russell. Only 500 of these are available and you can get yours for $57.95.

 

 

A ratty bathrobe, but ratty on purpose! This is the Walking Dead Bathrobe and it actually looks pretty badass. They didn't just tatter the edges and say “Now you're a Walking Dead bathrobe!” they also added wounds on the arms. Nice little details on this one. Plus it looks comfy!$49.99.

 

 

Whovians! Now you can finally soak up your bathwater by wearing a TARDIS, just like you've always wanted! There are a couple Doctor Who robes out right now. The Tardis and one replicating the look of the fourth Doctor, scarf and all. I have to say that one's pretty neat. Thank goodness there's no evil Doctor Who bathrobes out there threatening these beauties... $48.99 for the TARDIS bathrobe and $69.95 for the 4th Doctor Robe with scarf.

 

 

EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! Run, Doctor Who bathrobe! Dalek Bathrobes are here and they're coming for you! $63.86.

 

 

Star Trek: The Next Generation gets bathrobes, too! Pick your favorite! I want to be Picard. No, Data! No, Picard. Definitely Picard. $59.99.

 

 

If a bathrobe is too heavy, how about a nice two piece pajama set. Why stop being geeky when you're asleep? 24 hours a geek or you're a faker! $39.99.

 

 

This one's for the ladies. You had to endure my childish giggle-fit over the Portal panties, so now here's some guy underwear to show I'm an equal opportunity pervert. Star Trek boxer briefs, ladies and gentlemen. $29.95.

 

 

Here's a diecast metal replica of The Master's watch from Doctor Who. It's a fully functional watch and lights up when you press the button on top. No memory storage, however. Sorry. $45.51.



Expensive ($71.00-$249.99)




 

 

These are super, super cool. Designer Star Wars watches made of durable stainless steel, glass and leather. Did you notice that the 5 on on the Luke watch was Red. Details like that make this one of the classier things on the guide this year. Gorgeous. The only one not pictured is the Stormtrooper watch, which is rad, too. My favorites are Luke and Boba Fett, though. They are $199.99 each.

 

 

Crafted by the talented folks at Weta, these sterling silver earrings are designed to evoke the majesty of Galadriel. In all my travels through many different facets of geekdom, I can say this complete certainty: girls love Lord of the Rings. Man do they love it. I'm still waiting on the Hobbit extra groupies, but for some reason there's a bigger demand for dwarfs and elves. Go figure. This would make a hell of a romantic gift to the missus is all I'm saying. $74.99.

 

 

You're going to have to forgive me a little bit of a geekout here. The Fallout universe is one of my all time favorite creations. The feeling I had when my Vault 101 dweller stepped out into the wasteland for the first time was akin to the “oh shit” moments I had a kid watching things like Star Wars. I was overwhelmed by the open world and the more I explored, the more in love I fell. I've perfected my achievements, played through all the DLC and have explored damn near every inch of that world.

So, I'm a little obsessive about Fallout. Now Bethesda has gone and opened up their own merch store and has cost me a lot of money this year. One of the first things they put out were these blue suede Vault 101 sneakers and yes I bought a pair. I'm scared to wear them though! They're so beautiful! And they even come in a Vault-Tec box. I love mine, they look great. If I love them so much I figure someone out there will, too, so that's why they're here in the guide. $85.00.

 

 

This is a perfect example of why I love Bethesda and the Fallout world they've been fleshing out since Fallout 3. In this post-apocalyptic wasteland there are a bunch of vault scattered about and each one is unique in some way. Vault 77 is never visited in the games, but a webcomic started by the Penny Arcade guys introduced this vault and the poor bastard that was locked in there with nothing but a crate of puppet to keep him company. Over the years he goes nuts and develops multiple personality disorder and eventually leaves the vault with his crazy murderous hand puppet. This could have just stayed fun fiction type stuff, but the Bethesda guys made sure to put in a reference to this when the courier in Fallout: New Vegas finds a Vault 77 outfit with a note from a slaver babbling about a crazy Puppet Man.

Now it's official and they've gone one step further and made a limited edition Vault 77 hoodie complete with your own crazy-ass hand puppet. Limited to only 77 in existence, this hoodie/hand puppet combo is still available for preorder. If you're a Fallout junkie it doesn't get more obscure and sweet than this one. $77.00.



For The Super Rich Only ($250.00 and up)



 

 

Another fine replica from Weta Workshop. Bofur's hat is pretty recognizable and I'm not sure in which situation you could rock this in civilian life, but they've put a lot of effort into making this a real, warm comfortable hat. It is made of Stansborough Grey sheep wool, put together without the use of chemicals and hand-stitched. They don't mess around with this stuff. $315.00.

 

 

This molded leather backpack is apparently a replica from The Dark Knight Rises. I don't remember a backpack from that movie, but then again that movie was a bit of a mess, so maybe I just missed it. It seems the target crowd for this are hardcore geeks or motorcyclists, which don't typically get a lot of crossover, so if you fall into that narrow sliver in the Venn diagram then you can have this guy for $329.99.





Aaaaaaannndddddd that's Part 3. I'm going to enjoy Thanksgiving today, but I'll be hard at work finishing up the guide with the fourth and final section covering Collectibles, Toys, Ornaments and Rich Stuff. I've already got a little bit of a jump on it, so hopefully I can get it posted Friday evening or Saturday morning at the latest.

Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends and Happy Last Thursday In November to the rest of the world!

 

CLICK HERE FOR THE HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE 2013 PART 1: BLU, DVD, VIDEO GAMES, BOARD GAMES and GEEK ART!

CLICK HERE FOR THE HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE 2013 PART 2: BOOKS, SOUNDTRACKS, COMEDY and CONTESTS!

CLICK HERE FOR THE HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE 2013 PART 4: COLLECTIBLES, TOYS, ORNAMENTS and RICH STUFF!

 

-Eric Vespe
”Quint”
quint@aintitcool.com
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