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Here's The Official Synopsis Of THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN!!

 

Merrick here...

There's not a great deal here that we haven't already inferred from trailer and rumors, or that hasn't already been revealed in THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN's Tokyo press conferences (HERE).  But...just for the hell of it and as a point of discussion, here is an OFFICIAL studio sanctioned synopsis for Marc Webb's forthcoming picture.  

I'm not putting a SPOILER tag on this because I don't consider this terribly spoilery - at all.  But, those steadfastly determined not to have their Spidey-Cherry popped until the film opens this Summer may wish to avoid.  

 

One of the world's most popular characters is back on the big screen as a new chapter in the Spider-Man legacy is revealed in "The Amazing Spider-Man." Focusing on an untold story that tells a different side of the Peter Parker story, the new film stars Andrew Garfield, Emma Stone, Rhys Ifans, Denis Leary, Campbell Scott, Irrfan Khan, with Martin Sheen and Sally Field. The film is directed by Marc Webb from a screenplay written by James Vanderbilt, based on the Marvel Comic Book by Stan Lee and Steve Ditko. Laura Ziskin, Avi Arad, and Matt Tolmach are producing the film in association with Marvel Entertainment for Columbia Pictures, which will open in theaters everywhere in 3D on July 3, 2012.

"The Amazing Spider-Man" is the story of Peter Parker (Garfield), an outcast high schooler who was abandoned by his parents as a boy, leaving him to be raised by his Uncle Ben (Sheen) and Aunt May (Field). Like most teenagers, Peter is trying to figure out who he is and how he got to be the person he is today. Peter is also finding his way with his first high school crush, Gwen Stacy (Stone), and together, they struggle with love, commitment, and secrets. As Peter discovers a mysterious briefcase that belonged to his father, he begins a quest to understand his parents' disappearance – leading him directly to Oscorp and the lab of Dr. Curt Connors (Ifans), his father's former partner. As Spider-Man is set on a collision course with Connors' alter-ego, The Lizard, Peter will make life-altering choices to use his powers and shape his destiny to become a hero.


 

 

--- follow Merrick on Twitter ! ---

Readers Talkback
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  • Jan. 26, 2012, 10:59 a.m. CST

    But will there be veiled ejaculation metaphors?

    by ImMorganFreeman

    That's the only reason to see these movies.

  • You bet your ass they will.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 10:59 a.m. CST

    First

    by sjfatty

    nothing to say

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:01 a.m. CST

    Oh god..a mysterious briefcase.

    by paint163

    Fucking hell man!!

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:03 a.m. CST

    People should really boycott this. How stupid

    by locke815

    The origin story all over again? Are we supposed to gasp when he gets bit by the spider? So stupid

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:04 a.m. CST

    I'd rather eat a giant pile of dogshit than watch this garbage

    by Dr. Francis B. Gross

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:05 a.m. CST

    We've really done something special with this project

    by JettL1993

    It took us 4 drafts but everyone on the production agreed that we hit the nail on the head with the final product. This is a darker spiderman, not as campy as earlier incarnations. Deep down there's still that innocence but we decided to go strictly for realism. Several people read the script and broke out in tears, it's very moving and i know fans are going to like it It's got stiff competition this year, I also have the third batman and the avengers hitting theatres this summer but spiderman holds a place in my heart and i can't wait for this masterpeice to be unleashed

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:06 a.m. CST

    This man-spider story intrigues me

    by daggor

    A fresh story for the Gen Z crowd. And this "Aunt May" is Forrest Gumps' mom - I trust she is portrayed as such in the comical books as well.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:07 a.m. CST

    This all sounds Amazing-ly Stupid

    by krabklaw

    See what I did there? I used the movie's title to give it a good ole put-down.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:07 a.m. CST

    And IN that briefcase...this:

    by Cletus Van Damme

    http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/002/263/shotweb.jpg?1242252802

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:07 a.m. CST

    oohh a mysterious briefcase..

    by paul burnett

    ... i am fuckin sold!!, am gonna start a line outside the cinema right now.. I'm being sarcastic in case you can't tell ;)

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:08 a.m. CST

    "His father's former partner"? ARRRRGH Fucking Arad!

    by Steve Rogers

    WHY has he got this thing where all the villains have to have a personal connection to Parker. It's ridiculous. This is probably why they had to reboot, they couldn't figure out a way to crowbar this into more of the Raimi movies without it looking fucking stupid. They got away with it in Spider-Man 2 becuse it was very wisely shoved to the background, and also because it involved Peter and Octavious MEETING in that movie. Then they tried to jam Sandman into Spidey's origin story in 3 and fucked over both the character and the movie.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:10 a.m. CST

    And casting *actual* kids would be unthinkable, would it?

    by Nerfee

    The older I get, the more that kind of casting annoys me.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:10 a.m. CST

    @jettl93

    by I am_NOTREAL

    Never mind Spider-Man, I'm sure you worked hard on it, what I really want to know is this: is your Prometheus script *really* an Alien prequel or not? Thanks.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:10 a.m. CST

    And in the briefcase: A FACT!

    by Frank

    No, not really. Probably just more CRAP!

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:10 a.m. CST

    WOW, that IS different!!!!

    by notcher

    Not really. Sounds like some 10 year old kid wrote that. "And when he finds a briefcase, it will be filled with cool stuff!"

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:13 a.m. CST

    Mysterious Briefcase=Zed's Dead Baby...Zed's Dead.

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Does this mean Peter Parker's dad is the gimp.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:15 a.m. CST

    Ugh, that Sandman retcon in Spidey 3 killed the movie for me...

    by Grammaton Cleric

    ...that and Harry's omniscient butler that provides him with key info at just the right moment. I didn't hate the other aspects of the movie like some people do, but there were definitely too many cooks in the narrative's kitchen. That...and too much crying. I'm a lifelong Spidey fan and am pretty excited for the reboot, but even I don't think we need to see the origin story again.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:15 a.m. CST

    FLOP!

    by Karl Childers

    I won't go just because they didn't make Peter Parker a believable nerd. He looks more like an emo slacker.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:15 a.m. CST

    Mysterious briefcase

    by loafroaster

    I'm Garth Marenghi. Author. Dreamweaver. Visionary. Plus actor. You're about to enter the world of my imagination. You are entering my Darkplace.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:17 a.m. CST

    His parents didn't fucking 'disappear' - they DIED

    by my liege

    Abandoned my ass.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:17 a.m. CST

    spidey sense

    by Salamander

    So we gonna see lightning bolts above his head, eyes flash or a sound ala the last spidey flicks? I didnt mind Rami versions 'cept the last one but only because of Venom which needed a movie on its own, Sandman i thought was pretty good . Shame we have to have an origin movie again by Sony .

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:20 a.m. CST

    locke815

    by slone13

    How is this really any different than Batman Begins? Did you gasp when you found out that Bale's Bruce Wayne was the mentally unhinged orphan child of millionaires? Did you gasp when he used his inheritance to fight crime? Or is this different because 15 years separated Burton's and Nolan's flicks? But only 10 years separate the two Spider-Man movies?

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:22 a.m. CST

    SOUNDS LIKE SHIT TO ME.

    by KilliK

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:24 a.m. CST

    And what was in the briefcase sir?

    by alan_poon

    Papers........er business papers mostly.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:25 a.m. CST

    Sandman retcon

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Totally agree. It was dumb, and a lazy way to try to make the Sandman's backstory somehow relate to Spiderman's.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:26 a.m. CST

    _nerfee_

    by my liege

    Totally agree. I'm almost amazed Harry Potter didn't start with 30somethings in the roles.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:26 a.m. CST

    slone13...

    by loafroaster

    I'd guess the synopsis for Batman Begins didn't contain the words 'mysterious briefcase'.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:27 a.m. CST

    The Amazingly feminised Spider-Man

    by Samuel Fulmer

    The chick movied up the Raimi ones preaty good, it looks like they've ramped the harlequin romance aspects for this up to 11. Maybe we'll get Spider-Man Barbie dolls a la the Twilight Movies. And hey the studio can send them to Harry to ensure he stays awake during the film!

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:28 a.m. CST

    what talkbackers really want is a spiderman movie...

    by emeraldboy

    without a back story.... same applies to all superhero films i think....

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:29 a.m. CST

    Maybe there was no mysterious briefcase in the Nolan Batman films

    by Samuel Fulmer

    Because Bale specifically states he will not work with mysterious briefcases because most are not professional.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:31 a.m. CST

    loafroaster..

    by paul burnett

    Maggots,..Maggots?..Maggots..Maggots! Thats how to write..

  • ......rain/blouse/hard nipple action?

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:35 a.m. CST

    Inside the Briefcase

    by chad kuhns

    Will be something that will be so ridiculously off the wall for a Spider-man backstory reboot, that fanboys will instantly hate the movie. Either that or Peter will find out he is the son of a human and vampire, the Amazing Twider-Man

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:36 a.m. CST

    I'm going out on a limb here...

    by donkey_lasher

    ...and I think it will be on a par with X-Men Origins - Wolverine, and The Incredible Hulk.

  • Damn you world, you got me cornered once again.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:41 a.m. CST

    Wow, finally a Spider-Man with NOTHING from Lee and Ditko!

    by FloatingHolmes

    The Spider-Man movie for people who hate the old comic books! Yay, piss all over that shit! The Spider-Man movie for JMS fans! I can't wait not to get tickets.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:41 a.m. CST

    When he opens the briefcase...

    by Nautilus_nrm1

    will there be a golden light?

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:41 a.m. CST

    abandoned by his parents?

    by coz

    goddamn you assholes...

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:44 a.m. CST

    Why don't they get Cronenberg on this

    by Mugato5150

    This whole thing is obviously a cynical means to keep the Spider-Man franchise in the hands of ...whoever. So why not have fun with it? Peter Parker is bitten by a radioactive spider and slowly transforms from human to spider in the most grotesque way possible. THAT I would see.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:44 a.m. CST

    Sounds good

    by KevinMuller

    Something beyond the simple good vs evil. I still am not crazy about the lizard design though they may tweet it before the release Does anyone remember the first teaser trailer of "King Kong" (2005).... Kong looked different, less masculine/Alpha than he did in the final product

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:44 a.m. CST

    Gwen Stacy was NOT Peter's FIRST LOVE!!

    by HelveticaConspiracy

    It's like the screenwriter's don't read the comics. There's literally decades of Spider Man stories to cull from. Instead, these asshat screenwriters just look at all that and go, 'Yeeeeeah. But, I can do better.' F*ck this movie straight in the ass. I hope it dies a putrid death in theatres as it deserves to.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:45 a.m. CST

    A vision of a nightmarish future

    by Azby

    where Hollywood just rereleases the same film over and over with different actors heads photoshopped onto the bodies. And people still pay to see it.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:48 a.m. CST

    slone13

    by coz

    None of the Batman movies prior to Begins really went into his origin, other than a few flashbacks.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:49 a.m. CST

    terrible

    by Thunderbolt Ross

    Really - just get it as wrong as you can, why don't you?

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:54 a.m. CST

    The only thing sense I feel tingling here is my nose smelling shit.

    by AllPowerfulWizardOfOz

    Rebooting Spiderman is just fucking retarded.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:59 a.m. CST

    You super-nerds are hilarious...

    by crashcow

    Bitch/whine/moan. You'll see this movie (probably twice) and you'll claim you hate it. You'll buy it on whatever 3D format is popular ('cuz you're sooooo beyond DVD) and you'll bitch some more. They'll green light a sequel and you whine about it...then you'll see it, too. No wonder George Lucas hates all of you. You think you have ownership of things you like and expect your amateur ideas to mean something to someone who's never met you and could care less what you think. In the dating world, this is called menacing/stalking. But most of you don't date outside of 'Warcraft' so I can see how this level of assinine obsession can get away from you. On behalf of those of us who see these movies as entertainment and not a way of life, PLEASE stop ruining it for the rest of us. Go do something with your life that doesn't involve a build-it-yourself lightsaber/proton pack/batarang kit. Go BE something real and make a difference. Modern culture is starting to laugh at you. Post your rebuttles. No one cares about that, either.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 12:01 p.m. CST

    When you eventually do Goblin

    by SpazMatic1074

    Please god give him a rubber mask. Stop taking off their masks for random conversation in the middle of each battle. But yeah, the Goblin suits were terrible. Akin to the GI-Joe supersuits. Keep it real. Keep it gritty. Make it an old, beat up mask. Show him sewing the suit in his back shed. Flaming pumpkins being tossed around sleepy hollow style. That shit is sick. The Sam Rami version is like Power Rangers garbage. Learn from this please!

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 12:02 p.m. CST

    loafroaster - Darkplace like a motherfucker...

    by BlueLando

    That show was pure awesome. Ever see the DVD? There's a moment in one of the commentaries where Dean Learner says he'd beat the shit out of the female actress if she ever tried stealing from him during her performance art... and the resulting silence is absolutely hilarious. Just stone-cold 'oh shit' realisation! As is the 'I know she's buried in B-Block' followed by him looking shiftily to the side!

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 12:02 p.m. CST

    crashcow

    by coz

    Sad. Do you feel better about yourself for belittling others' passions?

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 12:02 p.m. CST

    by teddy_duchamp

    "Focusing on an untold story that tells a different side of the Peter Parker story" or you could just say...Focusing on an untold side of the Peter Parker story. who the fuck wrote that? probably about 5 different people.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 12:03 p.m. CST

    crashcow - yeah...

    by BlueLando

    If you post on AICN at ALL, you have no leg to stand on when it comes to film griping. You're not better than anyone here. You're just a different type of nerd, the nerd who thinks he's better than the other nerds because he's moderately self-aware that he's a nerd. News flash: you're not better than anyone.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 12:04 p.m. CST

    crashcow

    by ben

    /brofist its funny what happens when you grow up and realize people dont care about your opinions. then your own opinion gets that much better because you are self-assured enough to not have to share it with everyone else.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 12:06 p.m. CST

    What's in the briefcase?

    by Sean1701

    The formula for his spider webbing!

  • I've seen the pictures of the toys, artwork, etc, of what's supposedly the Lizard. Looks more like the Rattler (from Spider-Man newspaper strip series) to me. Easy to tell the difference - the Lizard has a snout, the Rattler doesn't. Hopefully they will re-snout the Lizard. And then bring in a snouted Stegron and his Dinosaur Skeleton Reanimator Ray

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 12:12 p.m. CST

    @jettl1993

    by georgecauldron

    Nothing says realism like a guy bitten by a spider and gaining superhero strength...

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 12:15 p.m. CST

    CRISWELL PREDICTS!

    by Daniel Beaubourg

    Due to the studio's attempt to break away from the conventions in the first Spider-Man film, The Amazing Spider-Man will suck, and the worst part it? WE'RE ALL GOING TO WATCH IT SUCK. It's like watching a strain slowly run over a pack of lepers tied to the tracks. Gruesome, but you can't look away.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 12:15 p.m. CST

    The real tragedy here is that it will be a pretty good "movie"

    by Smartacus

    Details will be fudged around where there's no need to do so, actors will try to come up with their own unique take on their characters, and writers will try and put their own stamp on the story making it no longer the story we want to see. It will most likely still be a pretty good story though. The problem with remaking the same thing every few years is that it can't be the same thing or audiences will not buy tickets. They've seen it already. The solution is to change it but that's also fatal error. Just like the too soon and unnecessary remake of "Dragon Tattoo" this story just isn't needed. New Spider-Man movie? I'm in, what do you have in mind? Same Spider-Man movie I saw ten years ago but with a bunch of changes to make it stand out? No thanks. I've got a perfectly acceptable Spider-Man origin story at home on BluRay. This is wasted effort. I'd give anything to see someone do a Spider-Man story (or any comic book character really) where they just start telling the story assuming that everyone in the world knows who Spider-Man (Superman, Batman, etc) is. Just write a good story and GO!

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 12:17 p.m. CST

    The problem with AICN posting....

    by meCPS

    isn't that anyone is trying to limit yourpassions or opinions. The problem is so many of you sound like petulant 12 year olds who have no idea how to express yourselves in a civil manner due to the invincibility you assume from your anonymity. Go ahead and rag on that opinion if you want....then go back and read the posts and tell me it's not true. Namaste.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 12:19 p.m. CST

    benzabs

    by BlueLando

    Except that crashcow felt the need to burden us with his opinion, instead of stepping back and realising he didn't have to post here at all. SHOCK - hypocricy!

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 12:21 p.m. CST

    mecps

    by BlueLando

    The problem is everyone thinks that they're right. So you get juvenile kids, as well as 'informed adults.' I put informed adults in ' ' because actually, they're pretty juvenile and have a need to be 'right' which suggests some kind of personality disorder.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 12:22 p.m. CST

    A bad film starring Denis Leary? Well I never.

    by SigourneyWeavers3Dbeaver

    Bill Hicks cursed that plagiarist's ass.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 12:24 p.m. CST

    facefucking stuntmen briefcases

    by CT1

    That's always cool to follow bad formulas in movies, I mean even when certain movies are made in a certain style that make over a BILLION dollars and are considered the number 3 highest grossest movie in America, it's always great to go with the "light-hearted" handling and "mysterious" briefcase. Also like how everything is interrelated and weaved in like the parents being connected to all the stuff, it's like an homage to how Anakin created 3CPO and had adventures with R2D2, that's really Cool and makes the whole film world seem cohesive and congruent.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 12:29 p.m. CST

    Sandman's retcon wasn't dumb, nor lazy, Samuel Fulmer

    by D.Vader

    It was a good, albeit flawed, attempt to tie the themes of Spider-Man 3 together; anger and revenge and how they will consume the soul. See: Harry on Peter Peter on Harry Peter on Mary Jane Peter on Sandman Brock on Peter

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 12:31 p.m. CST

    Will not see.

    by ATARI

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 12:32 p.m. CST

    Go back to watching Spider-man 3, assclowns.

    by Nerd Rage

    You don't deserve a better film like ASM.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 12:33 p.m. CST

    JETT!!!!!!!!!

    by BlaGyver

    I missed you, you crazy bastard.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 12:38 p.m. CST

    Bitch all you want but EVERY person posting here WILL see this.

    by FadedLineVigil

    FACT.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 12:38 p.m. CST

    Sure we do nerd-rage

    by Smartacus

    It's just that better film doesn't have to be another take on the Spider-Man origin story. You're the one who is setting his sights too low not the people complaining about the studio running around in circles telling the same story over and over again.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 12:38 p.m. CST

    800 million worldwide

    by Nerd Rage

    Just you haters wait and see.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 12:39 p.m. CST

    spazmatic — you are 100% CORRECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    by Astronut

    Please god give him a rubber mask. Stop taking off their masks for random conversation in the middle of each battle. But yeah, the Goblin suits were terrible. Akin to the GI-Joe supersuits. Keep it real. Keep it gritty. Make it an old, beat up mask. Show him sewing the suit in his back shed. Flaming pumpkins being tossed around sleepy hollow style. ----- YOU ARE SAYING EXACTLY WHAT HAS BEEN INSIDE MY HEAD EVER SINCE RAIMI'S FIRST SPIDEY FILM. EXACTLY. I WOULD ALSO ADD THIS: WILLAM DAFOE WAS MORE MANIACAL, MORE EVIL LOOKING, MORE GREEN GOBLIN-LIKE WHEN HE WAS STARING INTO THE MIRROR TALKING TO HIMSELF. BY A MILE. THEY SHOULD HAVE DONE A RUBBER MASK FOR HIM, NOT THAT POWER RANGERS SHIT.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 12:42 p.m. CST

    Yes, everyone here will see it.

    by Smartacus

    Some of us will see it while bitching about it. The two things aren't mutually exclusive.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 12:42 p.m. CST

    mecps: fuckin A', bubba

    by Playkins

    I've had that same opinion of this site for years. Not to mention, they're bashing ASM for the same thing that Batman Begins did, and nearly everyone around here creams their pants when they think about Nolan.<P> Give it a chance, fanboys. You might like it.

  • It's a world of laughter, a world or tears It's a world of hopes, and a world of fears There's so much that we share That it's time we're aware It's a small world after all It's a small world after all It's a small world after all It's a small world after all It's a small, small world There is just one moon and one golden sun And a smile means friendship to everyone. Though the mountains divide And the oceans are wide It's a small world after all (enjoy having that stuck in your head the rest of the day)

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 12:58 p.m. CST

    You're All Charicatures of Yourselves at This Point

    by Sean

    There's a reason the Comic Book Nerd on The Simpons was invented - talkbacks like these. Aside from Tea Partiers, talkback nerds have to be the whiniest, pussiest, bitchiest bunch of unhappy malcontents on the planet. Everything sucks. Nothing is EVER good enough. And on and on and on. 80% of you are joyless fucks who need to get laid of jump off something really tall.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 1:01 p.m. CST

    Denis Leary?

    by Gislef_crow

    I would rather have seen him as Uncle Ben. "Goddamn it, Peter, get your head out of your ass!"

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 1:02 p.m. CST

    All spiderman and ironman villains suck big dicks. FACT!!!

    by UltraTron

    Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccttt!!!!!!! Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccttt!!!!!! You muther fuckerrrsssssss!!!!!!!!!

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 1:03 p.m. CST

    Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..

    by UltraTron

    aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacctt!!!!! But the fantastic 4 got doctor doom, galactus- whole bunch o shit. Fantastic 4 is your best bet for a real epic tale.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 1:05 p.m. CST

    big jim:

    by UltraTron

    That fucking ride got stuck on that part for what seemed like 2 hours and that was where I lost my mind. Thanks for reminding me

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 1:05 p.m. CST

    Oh ok

    by CT1

    So we should be part of the problem and accept mediocrity which only encourages and begets MORE mediocrity? Instead of trying to get across we're tired of the rape and pillage of our beloved heroes and characters, and tired of them destroying things that mean a LOT to people by turning this cherish beloved idea into a money-fueled corporate bukkake? We only get this stupid shit because people keep going to see it and making EXCUSES and RATIONALIZATIONS about this MEDIOCRE sub-quality product. Spiderman is FAR beyond being for the fans anymore, it's now the property of General Audiences and the almighty Dollar.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 1:08 p.m. CST

    I don't pay for the same movie twice, unless it's T2

    by Gore_monkey

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 1:09 p.m. CST

    inside the briefcase

    by smutpeddlar

    actualy a pretty cool idea http://alturl.com/4ud58

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 1:16 p.m. CST

    His father's former partner!?!? Oh for the love of god

    by Autodidact

    Why does every single superhero have to turn out to have a second pre-origin where there parent set them up to be a world saviour? It's so fucking beyond lame. THERE IS NOTHING HEROIC ABOUT WORKING OUT YOUR DADDY ISSUES.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 1:18 p.m. CST

    I'm officially not going to see this

    by Autodidact

    Never thought there would be a SPIDER-MAN movie I don't even want to see.... but if there are any characters who should never be dealt with in a SPIDER-MAN comic, it's Peter Parker's parents. They're fucking dead. So, seriously. I won't be going to see this.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 1:20 p.m. CST

    so you watched Spider-man 3 but you won't watch this?

    by Nerd Rage

    Hypocrites.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 1:22 p.m. CST

    Don't watch this shite

    by MoPea

    Boycott all "introduction" and "begins" movies! Enough. Come up with some original, non-stupid ideas.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 1:22 p.m. CST

    waaah waaaah, we only got THREE Raimi movies

    by Nerd Rage

    Waaaaaaah!

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 1:22 p.m. CST

    jettl1993

    by DickButtkiss

    I heard that Lucas and Spielberg were waiting for you to come up with the McGuffin for the next Indiana Jones movie. I know you're busy with all these other projects, but come on man, can you get this figured out? Harrison Ford isn't getting any younger you know.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 1:25 p.m. CST

    We watched Mary Jane get kidnapped three movies in a row

    by Nerd Rage

    But we complain about seeing parker get bit twice after ten years!!!

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 1:29 p.m. CST

    This is complete and utter garbage

    by Dark Knight Lite

    Peter Parker's parents were branded traitors, but they were killed by the Red Skull when he learned the truth: They were double agents loyal to the US who had infiltrated his organization. Spidey learns this truth while in a pitched battle with the Skull and his forces. That I would pay to see.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 1:32 p.m. CST

    Wow, people are up in arms over this.

    by Tikidonkeypunch

    Bottom line: Would have loved a reboot if it could have existed in Raimis universe. Even if it didn't I might have still loved it if didn't try to do the orgin again. Or even a villain that was forshadowed in Raimi's. If it would have been Electro or Vulture. Or Mysterio. Scorpion? Rhino?

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 1:33 p.m. CST

    Since their selling to the Twilight crowd why not throw in Morbius.

    by Tikidonkeypunch

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 1:33 p.m. CST

    Oh Gosh, here we go again.

    by notcher

    Why do the movies HAVE to follow the comics? I don't understand that, it doesn't guarantee a good movie. If the story is good and it's a good movie, who fucking cares? Snyder changed the end of "Watchmen" and got rid of that stupid pussy monster and came up with something that made more sense! It was a better ending in the movie than in the graphic novel, I say, change what you want as long as it's good. And who fucking cares who Spiderman's first girlfriend was? Really?

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 1:33 p.m. CST

    Five reasons why my family will NOT see this trash

    by Dark Knight Lite

    1. Utter disregard for Lee/Ditko canon. 2. Spidey suit designed by idiots. 3. Martin Sheen as Uncle Ben. 4. Tween pandering. 5. Andrew Garfield's neck.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 1:35 p.m. CST

    Another Superhero movie "Improved" by Hollywood.

    by will2power

    What a pile of steaming, mushy shit. I cringe every time I hear a Hollywood director talk about a "New, Darker, Edgier, Hip" take on whatever superhero movie they pick up. We don't want you to change or add to the story. Fans want to see the stories as they were written and drawn. When are they gonna get it?

  • Who was it pray tell?

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 1:42 p.m. CST

    You're underestimating how many people WON'T see it.

    by SpaghettiWall

    Didn't see X-Men 3, Wolverine, Green Lantern. Why? Because I knew it'd all be shit. Just like this movie will be and I'M NOT SEEING IT.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 1:47 p.m. CST

    The briefcase WILL contain.....

    by Lucius Woodhouse

    Marcellus Wallace's soul. BOOM.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 1:49 p.m. CST

    Hope we get to see Spider man when the spider dna makes him go out of control

    by thedarklingthrush

    nm

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 1:53 p.m. CST

    The Amaizing Spideremo

    by chubasqueiro

    Feels like a Twiligh film...

  • I think you have your reality goggles on backwards.

  • Given that you've already formed opinions about a movie you haven't seen.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 2 p.m. CST

    ct1

    by Larry Sellers

    So we should be part of the problem and accept mediocrity which only encourages and begets MORE mediocrity?

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 2:02 p.m. CST

    Briefcase probably holds the webbing formula.

    by Christopher3

    Which answers the question of why a high school student would be able to come up with something like that.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 2:03 p.m. CST

    I'm buying a ticket to Avengers and sneaking in...

    by Andrew Coleman

    Nothing looks good about this. The plot sounds bad. Spidey looks bad. Lizard looks really bad. Also now hearing that instead of Connors being close to Peter and his prof they switched it so he was close to his dad... What the fuck? Fuck these people and this movie. Nolan changes things up but makes right decisions. These guys decided just to shit the bed.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 2:06 p.m. CST

    Actually, Sandman didn't effect Spidy's origin much?

    by cookylamoo

    He was standing by the car when the burglar grabbed his arm. The gun went off killing Uncle Ben. But If Spider-Man hadn't let the burglar go, it still never would have happened. It's like the Joker didn't kill the Wayne's in Batman. He actually stopped the hold-up man from shooting Bruce. Watch the movie.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 2:10 p.m. CST

    ct1 redux

    by Larry Sellers

    So a briefcase in the film inspired a rant about how the mainstream rapes characters in mediocrity? The money-fueled corporate bukkake business model is nothing new, guy. Nothing new. On screen, these characters are now treated as film characters first, with little nods to comic fans thrown in when convenient. It's been that way the last 12 years. And by the way, Marvel has long treated its readers not too differently from the way studios treat their audiences. If you have actually read the comics, and I don't mean just critically acclaimed TPBs, you would know that these characters are disrespected on a monthl/weekly basis. The things that happen in monthly ongoing series are often the most ill-conceived, illogical, and fucking retarded things to occur in print. So we should be part of the problem and accept mediocrity which only encourages and begets MORE mediocrity? No. By all means, protest outside of Sony, threaten to 'boycott' the film, and continue to wind yourself up about things that may not actually exist outside of your head. (in other words, see the goddamn film first and develop an actual opinion) I'm not really excited or interested in ASM. But that whole THIS IS MINE AND NO ONE ELSE SHOULD ENJOY IT rant got to me. Sorry to break it to you, but Spider-Man hasn't been indie since 1962.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 2:11 p.m. CST

    To crashcow

    by Don

    I love your comments!! Great job!! lol

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 2:12 p.m. CST

    Lame

    by Ian

    Oh i hope this film fails EPICALLY!! this is the worst pos i have ever heard of for a film synopsis. So some people are going to pay 13-16 bucks for THE SAME DAMNED STORY BEING TOLD OVER AGAIN with some extra scenes at the beginning???? You people are f-ing retarded past the ninth degree! And Sony you suck for ruining spiderman 3!! Its not sam raimi's fault. Damn you for getting in the way sony! I hope this film bombs and we get raimi plus cast and crew back for spiderman 4!

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 2:13 p.m. CST

    YAWN

    by Manaqua

    Good god this shit is old. Talk about beating the dead horse. Jesus.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 2:14 p.m. CST

    At least it's official that the Lizard is teh ONLY villain in the film

    by Jaster Mareel

    I mean yeah, we all pretty much knew that, but it's nice to see nontheless. I personally really like the "search for the parents" thing. I always thought having Parker an orphan without any explanation for why, in all those thousands of comic pages over the years, was quite puzzling. Yes at one point it was written that his parents were S.H.E.I.L.D. agents, but that's just fucking stupid so hopefully they don't go that route.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 2:24 p.m. CST

    But weren't his parents FBI agents or something?

    by D.Vader

    Or CIA? Or is that what happened when the Goblin tried to convince Peter (from behind the scenes, behind Red Skull) his parents were still alive?

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 2:27 p.m. CST

    FUCK SAM RAIMI!

    by Nerd Rage

    with his Power Ranger Goblin, corny New Yorkers, changing Uncle Bens killer, killing all the villians, using an ugly Mary Jane, omiting WISECRACKS, omiting the Death of Gwen Stacy arc, taking away Spider-man greatest scientific accomplishment/ webshooters, using the kidnaped MJ climax THREE fucking movies in a row, Parker's goofy dancing with an emo cut, Vulturess including, random cookie girl bullshit, repetitive Mary Jane love rollercoaster, Green Goblin 2 paintball outfit, awkward puberty allegory, snaggletooth singing, Nickelback fan, sorry ass.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 2:28 p.m. CST

    cookylamoo

    by Larry Sellers

    The Joker DID kill the Waynes. The guy in the background was shouting at him that they should leave as he turned the gun on Bruce. But yes I think you're right about Sandman's involvement didn't really make a huge difference. It just felt so forced. Peter even says something about how after several years, the police never said a thing about it.

  • The reason's pretty simple - it's stupid and unnecessary. Between the Ultimates-style meddling and the outright retconning of things like his parents and Connors, this is just a bunch of garbage that doesn't interest me at all. So I won't be seeing it in the theater, or renting it. Simply have no motivation at all to see it. I didn't watch Spidey 3 either, because it sounded like a train wreck. Raimi's first two weren't perfect, but all things considered, hard to imagine how anyone else could have done Spidey better. A reboot could have meant something if they'd cast a real teenager, done it with a Romita Jr./Wargames-style fresh-faced sense of wonder, and incorporated a little Ditko-style darkness/weirdness around the edges. What we're getting here is emo, self-serious, and apologetic - all the worst things about the prevailing style of today. I'll save my money for Avengers, Hobbit, Prometheus, and maybe TDKR, though the latter looks uninspiring as well.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 2:31 p.m. CST

    Picky Bastards

    by tohn007

    It's funny how people get their panties in a bunch when the origin of a character gets slightly altered for the big screen. So his father worked with Dr. Connors. Who cares. If memory serves me correct, didn't Tim Burton have a young Jack Napier aka The Joker kill Bruce Waynes parents in the original Batman film? I don't ever hear fanboys bitching about that deviation from Batmans origin. Just calm down.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 2:37 p.m. CST

    ^ I've been bitching about it for years

    by Autodidact

    BATMAN 89 is the first, worst example of it... why in the fuck does Joker have to have killed Bruce's parents? Again, for the millionth time, there's nothing heroic about taking revenge on your parents' killers. This is where most clueless fucks explain to me why it was done (to give more people in the audience some way to relate to BATMAN etc..) which is where I immediately discount their opinion on film/movies for the rest of my life.

  • If you don't believe me ask Quentin Tarantino.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 2:37 p.m. CST

    lucidz: Betty Brant was Parker's first love.

    by HelveticaConspiracy

    But, as everyone in nerdom knows, Mary Jane Watson is Peter Parker's eternal flame. Gwen Stacy is just some weird clone now. (Ah, what I wouldn't give to see a 'Clone Saga' Spider Man; but, that'll NEVER happen) And, to all the other 'nerd-bashers' out there: Go f*ck yerselves. You're reading AICN. You're a nerd, too. And, to answer your accusation: No, not all of us will go see this Spider Ham garbage. I'll save my money, uh, thank ya very much.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 2:38 p.m. CST

    I'm not pissed about a black suitcase.

    by ZOMBRE

    I'm pissed about the BLACK CROTCH. It's like he wet himself. I can't unsee it now. Like CGI breath in the The Thing.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 2:52 p.m. CST

    the briefcase is fulled with dildos

    by Mars

    Thats when peter figured out that his parents were porn stars.... this movie reeks of shit expecially since news for this piece of crap is soo tight that we only get to see what they want us to see, notice how they keep telling us its an UNTOLD story lol, thats its new and fresh and hip, full of teenage agnst, goddammit movie industry reminds me of politics, no matter what they are going to abuse and do what they want, and sell us a lemon...we have to smile.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 2:52 p.m. CST

    By the time burtons batman came along...

    by emeraldboy

    nicholson was all washed and bankrupt. then after burton's batman he became one of the most powerful people in hollywood. the merchandising from batman and its sequels swelled his bank account. and i think he became multi millionaire. think he has now retired and doesnt work anymore.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 2:54 p.m. CST

    ^Nicholson made $50 million off BATMAN

    by Autodidact

    His salary was a few mil, but he made sure to get a good chunk of the merchandising rights and video sales. Legend is he had netted $50 million by Xmas of 89.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 2:55 p.m. CST

    Japanese Premiere? Bad News For Spidey

    by THX1968

    "The host is saying shit like they made a mess. gaya spiderman cheesy go up. It's a sketchy translator but its hilarious because it seems to say the opposite of what everyone is "bullshitting" their responses to. Avi was saying how he's going to delete all their questions. Everyone looks so dreadful and downtrodden to have to be there and not understand a fucking thing being said about them." That was posted by xenii, and he/she is absolutely correct. It's hilarious. Ask yourself why a huge ass blockbuster is opening in Japan. Have you heard squat about the supposed screening? Me neither. That's the idea. The only other big film to open in Japan before the US was The Matrix Revolutions, I think. There has probably been others, but the count is very few. This movie is going to be awful. Not every franchise needs a reboot.

  • its the same cringe worthy shit they did with the old comedy movie, Teen Wolf on that new MTV shows. My god how awful

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 3:01 p.m. CST

    I'll pass on this remake...

    by Wes_Reviews_

    ...not paying money to watch the same movie over again, when they could've very easily made a part 4 to the existing series.

  • Which had Mary Jane get kidnapped for a THIRD time and a bunch of other stupid bullshit.

  • Just like there's nothing heroic about taking on the villain when your motivation for confronting him (them) is to rescue your girlfriend (again!).

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 3:12 p.m. CST

    Even if this is good it's a failure...

    by nemov

    I loved the first two Spiderman films. Simply not enough time has passed for me to be interested in this venture.

  • It really is. You guys are hypocrites. You ignore the repetitive kidnapping of the Raimi flicks but pretend like the origin being done twice is the end of the world. Fuck off.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 3:21 p.m. CST

    A briefcase you say?

    by KilliK

    THE PLOT THICKENS.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 3:22 p.m. CST

    The briefcase.

    by KilliK

    It will probably have a Spider-Man costume as a present for his son in Halloween..And Parker gets his idea to become Spider-Man.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 3:25 p.m. CST

    I'll watch it

    by HughHoyland

    I liked the other Spidey movies, even 3 (kinda). But a forth isnt going to happen, this one is. So I'll watch it and decide afterward if I like it or not. And I have a feeling this is going to be something quite different from what some people are expecting. I'm actually getting an Ultimate Spider Man vibe. P.S. Either way I predict this will make big time money.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 3:28 p.m. CST

    choppah, exactly

    by Mattman

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 3:32 p.m. CST

    autodidact, Batman 89

    by Mattman

    Yeah, Joker killing Batman's parents, and Batman getting revenge (Burton kinda pussies out in the way the Joker is actually dispatched, despite the fact that this Batman kills and went there to kill the Joker) is a total betrayal of the character. I still dig that movie because I was the right age when I saw it, and it works as its own thing. It's very well produced and entertaining, but the Joker/Batman thing is the worst kind of Hollywood plot convenience.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 3:48 p.m. CST

    Sam Rami's movies were good!

    by Tom Fremgen

    Seriously, all three were good comic book movies. Most of the stuff people hate about them was forced on him by Sony (they wanted the Power Ranger mask, they wanted Vemon) Oh and did you hate emo Parker- GOOD! You were suppose to! I wish he was making the 4th one. I'm sure I'll still see it, but I really don't understand the point of a reboot. As others have said, just give us a good Spiderman movie, stop trying to reinvent the wheel!

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 3:48 p.m. CST

    spazmatic — you are 100% CORRECT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    by 2soon2eat

    But yeah, the Goblin suits were terrible. Akin to the GI-Joe supersuits. Keep it real. Keep it gritty. Make it an old, beat up mask. Show him sewing the suit in his back shed. Flaming pumpkins being tossed around sleepy hollow style.

  • Ironman and Spiderman: Father and Son Do-Gooder Duo. ISFSDGD for short in case they make the sequel ISFSDGD 2: Attack of Fanbullah Eddy The Gorilla Faced Girl. When are they gonna make a Fanbullah Eddy The Gorilla Faced Girl movie? Easily one of the greatest Marvel characters. Young Rosy Odonnel had this role in the can.

  • I'm sorry but this is not a case of 'wait till you see the movie guyz, dont judge it' because absolutely nothing about it looks appealing it's emo bait trash. The fact that you like it means you probably also liked Twilight and Teen Wolf the show.

  • had nothing to do with a fourth movie not getting made. Those movies were massive successes, so nobody in charge gives a shit what the minority thinks of them. They simply wanted another Spidey movie fast, and Raimi was under too much pressure.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 4:03 p.m. CST

    Origin stories are not needed.

    by Yamato

    Incredible Hulk, a semi-reboot, did the origin in the opening credits, and that was all we got about that. Very well done. The Dark Knight, did not have any sort of origin story for the villain. Awesome movie. Conclusion, you don't need origin stories for either the hero or villain.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 4:08 p.m. CST

    Yeah the synopsis sounds just like Twilight.

    by Nerd Rage

    Remember in Twilight when Edward who lives with his aunt and uncle tries to figure out who his parents are meets a pretty scientific researcher and gets powers from a spider which allows him to fight crime and try to save his science teacher who roams the city as a crazed Lizard. Yeah that sounds exactly like Twilight.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 4:11 p.m. CST

    How long will it be before

    by buggerbugger

    Richard and Mary Parker return, only to turn out to be shape-shifting killer androids secretly manufactured by the Green Goblin to fuck with Peter's brainymind? Did I imagine that? Were they really shape-shifting killer androids when they "returned" in the comics? Or were they just regular-issue androids? Stupid fucking shit, whatever it was.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 4:16 p.m. CST

    Is it true...

    by TopHat

    ...that his webbing comes from the back of his neck and runs through tubes to his hands? Seriously, this seems like the most ridiculous revamp in history. Yeah, belittle me for "bitching" or "whining". I really don't care.

  • In Ultimate Spiderman, Richard Parker was a scientist responsible for creating Venom.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 4:21 p.m. CST

    Everything about this project sounds like ass.

    by thedarklinglord

    Seriously, if they weren't going to go in a wildly different direction with one of the alt-universe Spider-man characters and storylines, why even bother? Hell, I'd be more excited by the friggin' Spider-man musical being turned into a movie than this lame-ass piece of shit. I hope this turd crashes and burns.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 4:30 p.m. CST

    Its a lot easier being positive than negative...

    by TopHat

    When you're questioning something, you're naturally being "negative". People don't like to question things. Questioning things leads to the realization that things must change. Change means sacrifice. No one wants to personally sacrifice anything unless they believe the majority of people around them are sacrificing the same things. This accounts for the delusional obsession of giving everything a positive spin right now; If you see the "good" side of something, you're a better person. Of course, this is false - Not questioning things, especially having to do with industry, is not being a more mature, level-headed person. It simply makes you a successful consumer and worker. Obviously, within a Military Industrial Complex being a good worker and consumer matters more than being a free-thinking individual. Its just good business. So, to all you "immature, whiny, fanboys" who always "shit" on everything, never allowing yourselves to just be complacent and accept whatever the studios "give" you: Bravo.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 4:32 p.m. CST

    Fuck this movie

    by grendel69

    That is all.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 4:33 p.m. CST

    Better than Spiderman 3 doesn't mean good.

    by Cosmik

    S3 was crap. A reboot aimed at the teen-age girls who bought tickets for Twilight sounds like crap as well.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 4:34 p.m. CST

    As a HUGE Spidey-Fan, I cannot get it up for this movie AT ALL.

    by Clavius

    So far NOTHING of what I've seen to date has given me any encouragement. I still think it looks too damn dark and brooding to be Spider-Man. You can't go all Dark Knight with Spider-Man, you just can't. For all I know this just might be a good movie, but it just doesn't seem like it's going to be a FUN movie, and that's what Spider-Man needs to be first and foremost. Say what you will, the Raimi films (and yes, even to a MINOR degree S-M:3) were fun.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 4:35 p.m. CST

    JETTL93 IS A PHONY!

    by J-Dizzle

    *I* write the scripts! He steals them and takes credit!

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 4:42 p.m. CST

    I will see the new Ghost Rider twice before I pay for this.

    by Chewbacca_Khan

    And that, Mr. CreepyThinManLives, is a FACT. I mean, if I have to choose between two unnecessary and guaranteed-to-suck movies about heroes I enjoy, at least I'm going with the one that's not a diced-up piece-of-hash remake of a film only 10 years old.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 4:52 p.m. CST

    How is this movie aimed at girls and Twilight fans?

    by Nerd Rage

    Is there a trailer where Garfield sparkles and bites Emma Stones neck that we don't know about?

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 4:53 p.m. CST

    Fuck the haters.

    by Nerd Rage

    They paid full price for Spider-man 3. FULL PRICE! ASM will be far better than that steaming pile of shit. FAR BETTER!

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 5:02 p.m. CST

    And in the briefcase

    by vladvampire

    is clues, almost like a scavenger hunt, that his father left him when he died in the World Trade Center on 9/11...surprise casting role, shown mostly in flashbacks, Tom Hanks as Peter Parker, Sr.

  • Raimi, Maguire and Dunst were willing to do it, and it would've been cool to see Dylan Baker become the Lizard. Even though "3" felt like the end of a trilogy - we were led to believe that Spidey would still be out there doing his thing. They could've easily picked up on that story thread and carried it through to a fourth chapter. It still could be done organically. Yeah, "3" was shit - but not shit enough to derail a pretty good film series. I would much rather have seen "Spider-Man 4" than this "The Amazing Spider-Man" shit they are trying to pedal us. And let's face it... the trailer has hardly been wowing audiences has it? The truth is, Marvel are due a massive flop. It won't be "The Avengers" that's for sure... It'll be one of the star superheroes, it will be high profile, and it'll rock the industry. This movie could be it.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 5:08 p.m. CST

    nerd rage, I've had the misfortune of seeing Twilight

    by Mattman

    and there's nothing remotely Twilightish in the 60 seconds of footage we've seen of this Spider-Man movie. As usual, TBers are letting their asses do the talking for them.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 5:21 p.m. CST

    I couldn't be less interested in a single movie.

    by Jarrete Barnett

    I'm barely interested enough to rent this movie, nevermind rushing to the theatre. This genre of movie-making is suffering a new kind of "death". Before, it was a matter of unadulterated camp for the sake of whimsical "entertainment" value, and now everything is a re-tread of subject matter that (arguably) wasn't exactly "innovative" in it's execution in the first place. In the words of the Narrator from Fight Club: "Everything is a copy, of a copy... of a copy."

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 5:29 p.m. CST

    The Amazing Tweenerman

    by MasterShake

    Yes, it's a blatant attempt at cashing in on the Twiwight phenom, and they have the arrogance to try to sell hardcore fans of the comic that this just isn't so! It's real! It's gritty! It has whiter whites and redder reds! That is just how stupid they think the average fanboy is. We definitly don't need another origin reboot. Garfield is a lame choice for Parker. Too tall/thin, too old. I can hear the casting session now:"Well, we've narrowed it down to 3 choices. Which one looks the most like the Twilight vampire?" and everyone shouts "Garfield!". Raimi's Spidey origin was note perfect until the intro of Power Ranger Goblin. But, current tweeners were only 4 or 5 when Spidey 1 came out, so I guess the suits think they've never heard of Spiderman; origin reboot it is! An origin reboot is bad enough, but the Lizard? Really? I've always thought the lizard was the absolute lamest villain he had. I even liked Hammerhead or Rocket Racer better than the lizard. What real Spidey fans should want is a Spidey/Kingpin smackdown filmed like a Scorsese movie. Hell, throw Daredevil in there too, his franchise could use a defib. It sure worked for Batman. TDK made what, a zillion dollars? But we get the Amazing Tweenerman instead. There ain't no justice.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 5:31 p.m. CST

    Needs Giant Nazi Robots

    by Have_Penis_Will_Travel

    with painted on Hitler hair and mustaches the lizard is right up ther in lameness with the vulture, gibbon, paste pot pete, fusion the twin terror and big wheel

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 5:32 p.m. CST

    mastershake, nope.

    by Mattman

    You clearly have no idea just how bad Twilight is. I envy you, but you're wrong.

  • Come back when you know what you're talking about, because right now, you have no fucking idea.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 5:49 p.m. CST

    Stick To The Fucking Comics

    by THX1968

    Why the fuck would you make a Spider-Man movie and not use the fucking comics? Why the fuck would you bother with it at all if you didn't even want to stick with the fucking comics? Because if you fucking don't then it isn't a fucking Spider-Man fucking movie! When you don't stick to the mother fucking comics you get Superman 3. When you don't stick to the mother fucking comics you get Batman and Robin. This new Spidey flick is gonna go down as one of the biggest franchise fuck ups in the history of fucking movies.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 5:50 p.m. CST

    MISTERIOS BRIEFCASE IS THIS DEAL OR NOT DEAL?

    by bloodawn5

    What the hell can we have a more obvious shennanigans, maybe the will of and old aunt, a misterious treasure chest with a misterious treasure map of the misterious Spider Pirates, a misterious letter from a misterious dog...

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 5:58 p.m. CST

    Suitcase is the shape of a spider!

    by deelzbub

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 6:02 p.m. CST

    mattman

    by MasterShake

    I do understand how bad the Twilight movies are, I had to sit through the first one with my eleven year old niece. Excruciating experience. Bad acting. Lame plot. I agree with any bad thing you say about Twilight. Unfortunately, they also made a zillion dollars. Sony looked at their properties and they needed to make another Spiderman fast to keep the rights anyway, so let's go high school origin reboot. Let's update Parker a bit so the current youth market (that's how they refer to tweeners in hollywoodspeak) can relate to him better. Let's give him an ipod with 'phones and a skateboard. Make sure he wears a hoody at some point (see leaked photos). Now he's not such a nerd! Problem is, Parker is a clumsy nerd with glasses before spiderpowers, and pretends to be a clumsy nerd after spiderpowers so not to give it away. Everything i've seen leaked so far leads me to believe they are updating Parker to be more palatable to the tweener/Twilight crowd. I may be wrong, I hope they make a great movie. I will probably see it. But I fear the worst.

  • The Death of Gwen Stacy is when Spider-man stopped being a funny book. <P> Also, this synopsis sounds like rubbish. Why does Lizard have to have any connection with Peter Parker? Oh, because the Lizard is kind of a boring villain. So since we're dancing around the majors why not make it the vulture next then? <P> Or Rhino. That outta be great.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 6:35 p.m. CST

    I'll be damned. Forgot about Betty Brant

    by Lucidz

    I have spider-man 121, death of gwen stacy. Does that make me ultra nerd?

  • They actually updated his nerdiness for modern audiences with an ipod and skateboard. The horror...the horror. Lets just claim it's like Twilight even though it's not.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 6:47 p.m. CST

    If uncle Ben doesn't die I'll be shocked

    by sunwukong86

    I mean sure he got powers before uncle Ben died, but having him live would be like having Batman's parents live

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 7:02 p.m. CST

    *SPOILER ALERT*

    by mackmm

    The briefcase contains 2 kilos of coke Peter's parents will be revealed in the second film to be Dr Doom and lets say I don't know She hulk Peter is portrayed as a "special needs" child who only believes he has spider powers All the stunts in this film were done by trained circus monkeys Stan Lee's cameo in this one will actually garner an X rating It's all true I got coffee for this guy who had a cousin who used to read the comics a lot.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 7:11 p.m. CST

    thx1968

    by Larry Sellers

    Also, when you don't stick to the comics, you get EVERY COMIC BOOK MOVIE EVER. They take liberties with the material. They ALL fucking do. Even the good ones. If they're going the traditional route (as in, NOT like Watchmen or 300 or Sin City) they write an original story that includes the characters, ideas and maybe some panels and scenes from the comics combined into a film. If you honestly believe that Dark Knight, Spider-Man 2, Superman: The Movie, or X-Men 2--or whatever else you consider to be the quintessential comic book adaptation --to have been successful because they followed the comics panel for panel, word for word, costume for costume, you really need to read more (or some?) comics. Sure, there were TONAL influences. There were scenes lifted here and there from The Long Halloween or Year One or Spider-Man No More. Characters like William Stryker or Ra's/Ducard who were effective in spite of changes. Doc Ock and Lex Luthor fall into that category as well. Oh, and costumed Spider-Man was a fucking mute in Raimi's films. Check out the Spider-Man: With Great Power mini from 2008. It covers a similar period of Spider-Man's career as this movie, same costume that everyone hates...also the mystery surrounding Peter's parents HAS been broached a few times in mainstream Marvel canon (not just the Ultimate line). So Webb and crew HAVE stuck to some material, just material you're unfamiliar with. tl;dr? My point is, that it isn't the WHAT. It's the HOW. Whether or not they're EXACTLY, note for note superficially faithful to a costume or an origin doesn't make it a good movie or a bad movie. I'm not going to judge this film on whether or not Peter wears a sweater vest and coke bottle glasses. It's been 12 years of this shit, and I think we all know what sorts of changes to expect. Funny how we're here, complaining about how it's the same movie from 10 years ago yet at the exact same time, we're complaining that they're going a different route that we're unfamiliar with.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 7:21 p.m. CST

    SPOILER: Audience never sees what's in case!

    by Get_Me_An_18-Man_Fire_Team_In_12_Hours

    RONIN-style MacGuffin'ing, just to fuck with us.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 7:26 p.m. CST

    dr_pepperspray

    by Dark Knight Lite

    ASM #33 was when Spidey stopped being a funnybook. Even though I'm a bigger Bat-fan, ASM #33 is the greatest single comic book of all time. Take a step back, Mr. Kirby, Lee/Ditko owned all with that one 12 cent fable.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 7:26 p.m. CST

    It SO Sounds like.....

    by Brian

    .....you just got.......... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ....................coxxed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 7:32 p.m. CST

    Andrew Garfield is 28 years old.

    by Yelsaeb

    And he's playing a teenage Spider-Man. Does anyone else think that's kinda wrong? Shouldn't they have gotten someone a little closer to age?

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 7:36 p.m. CST

    Andrew Garfield: The Amazing Giraffe Neck

    by Dark Knight Lite

    Sorry, kid. It's a bad sign when the actress playing Aunt May looks more like the comics' Peter Parker than the actor playing him. I really hate to be an internet naysayer, but this film has ASS written all over it.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 7:53 p.m. CST

    It's kind of funny...

    by kaylum

    reading all of these complaints about the new Spider-Man being too "dark" and "emo," because the only thing that got me interested in this movie at all was reading how Garfield gets to show Spidey's smart-ass side. As many others have noted, Maguire nailed the put-upon side of Peter Parker, and I do like his performance, but he never really captured the other side of Spider-Man. Maybe this time they'll finally get the character right!

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 8:33 p.m. CST

    I dont understand you people, at all.

    by ajt2111

    First of all, Spidey 3 was a fucking abortion of a movie.... Oh god, where to begin? Retconning Sandman into Uncle Ben's murder was fairly stupid, but whatever. How about the scene where we actually see all the cool Goblin tech that Harry has lying around, including a badass silver varient of the original Goblin Mask and a classic glider and instead we get Extreme Snowboarder Paintball New Goblin. Kiss my ass. How about Mary Jane going from "I know it will be hard because your Spiderman and things wont be easy but I loves you, you little arachnid fuck, now go get em Tiger" at the end of Spidey 2 to "BITCH BITCH MOAN BITCH, Im an unlikable hag" In Spidey 3. How about the random truck full of sand in the middle of NYC that just happens to be in the Sandmans path?(and no, it wasn't an empty truck that Sandman filled with himself, there were shovels, the cop spawned one) Strugging emo bangs Peter Parker. And while I'm on the subject of the bangs.... They had a fucking emo bang origin scene. A scene where we actually see Parker bring his hair down into emo bangs. Did we need that? Could we not have pretty much figured that out ourselves? Aunt Mays oh so fucking cheesy speech. Mary Jane not being like "Hey Peter, Harry's right over there and he says he's going to kill you, but ya know, your fucking Spiderman, so why don't you go beat his ass?" The butler revealing shit. If the butlet knew, why would he wait that long to tell Harry? Clearly he knew Harry was consumed by rage and vengeance prior to him getting his face blown the fuck up. The news cast finale. Gwen Stacy being utterly fucking pointless. And everything that was out there about part 4 sounded even worse...the fucking VULTRESS? Really? That's what you guys would have wanted to see instead? Now...with all that being said about the last movie, lets talk about this one. It's like all of you are totally ignoring the comic con footage that got almost unanimous love because of how well Spidey was portrayed. Ya know, he actually fucking quips and acts like Spidey as opposed to mostly silent Spiderman of the past 3 movies. Or the fact that they've filmed tons of practicle effects and stunts as opposed to making all of the Spidey shit one big CGI cartoon.(yes I know the first person portion of the trailer was CGI, doesnt change the fact that we've seens tons of pics/footage of them filming a lot of real shit) so where's the bitching coming from? His costume is different? His haircut? The fact that they're redoing the origin? It's a different take on it, it's not just Spiderman 1 rehashed. Different big bad, bringing Gwen into it, more Ultimate take on things. The Lizard design? None of these things matter, if its a good movie. Everything about the comic con footage suggests it will be and that theyve nailed the Spiderman character. Lets fucking relax. If it comes out and it blows, fine. But after the fucking disappointment that was Spidey 3, it'll be hard for it to be any worse.

  • But part three really got a lot of these wildcatters to turn to the bottle, even though their kids still seemed to enjoy it. Thing with this Amazing Spiderman is that we just don't see the use in wasting the hyperspace transmitter's bandwith to DL this flick all the way from Gateway to the colony. We'd all rather see that Avengers one instead, and folks, bandwith ain't unlimited out here in the Outer Rim. Just the other day I was down in sub-level 3, checking some pressure valves when a smart ass little kid crawled out of the air ducts and asked me what ever happened to those superhero flicks that implied the origin. Basically, the origin was explained as part of the backstory instead of the whole damn movie being devoted to the origin story. I saw this example demonstrated in the pilot for the show Alcatraz. Not the greatest show ever, but certainly watchable (and the lead actress is nice to look at when you're stuck out here on this barren rock of a world). What happened was another character asked this young female detective character how she is a homicide detective at such a young age. He says, =I bet your origin story is pretty cool= and she tells him in the manner of about 15-20 seconds how she got to be a cop and a detective so quickly. Boom, just get it out and get on with it. Same thing with the first Batman directed by Tim Burton. The whole backstory with Bruce Wayne/Batman and Jack Napier/The Jocker was done in economical flashbacks and through a bit of dialogue throughout the film. Why can't we do that kind of stuff with superheroes anymore? Why does it always have to be the origin story, even with a reboot when everyone already knows the origin at this point anyways?

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 8:50 p.m. CST

    WHO THE HELL IS GWEN STACY!?

    by Jackson

    MJ FTW also this movie sounds like its gonna be bullcrap to all comic geeks but good to the rest of the audience

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 9:43 p.m. CST

    the story just sounds so un-necessary ...

    by freak2thec0re

    I mean, I'll see it but my hopes are very low at this point

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 9:58 p.m. CST

    jettl1993 has mental issues

    by smackfu

    Anyone remember that guy who had the same schtick back in the Phantom Menace day? Called himself Shadowsomething. Maybe Supershadow? Anyway, he's the only other person I've ever encountered on the internet who had this particular form of dementia, claiming that people like Lucas and Spielberg come to him for help lol. I wonder if it's the same person?

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 10:28 p.m. CST

    Inside that Briefcase...

    by Zurge

    ...the Script to a better movie ;)

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 10:28 p.m. CST

    The "Gwen Stacy origin storyline" is PERFECT

    by TopHat

    It cannot be out done. CANNOT BE OUT DONE. The Lizard is responsible for Peter's parents death. Gwen Stacy is his girlfriend (even though he's a supposed "outcast"). They all work for Oscorp. Osborn makes an appearance towards the end, debuting a certain serum... THE SEQUEL! The Goblin! Uncle Ben dies! Get it? Gwen in this film is Peter, SHE loses her father. And... ...oh, forget it. You bastards will make excuses for anything. Hurray.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 10:33 p.m. CST

    That synopsis was poorly written.

    by Kabrix

    All buzz-words and fluff, even for a synopsis. It doesn't really tease or inform... it just kind of is there.

  • Jan. 26, 2012, 11:09 p.m. CST

    larry sellers

    by THX1968

    I never suggested that these movies follow the source material panel for panel, nor would I ever, because they NEVER HAVE. Basically you put words in my mouth that I never would have spoken. However, the successful comic films that I do like - some of which you mentioned, unsurprisingly - DO FOLLOW THE CONCEITS OF THE SOURCE MATERIAL. And don't school me on comics, douchebag. I'll tear ya to shreds.

  • Other than that, yea. Plus what I said in my original post a few posts up.

  • Jan. 27, 2012, 3:37 a.m. CST

    WEBB, GARFIELD and STONE are the 3 reasons to see this movie

    by melonman

    And they give it a damn good chance of being great. Here's hoping.

  • Jan. 27, 2012, 4:03 a.m. CST

    If Uncle Ben really is dying in this...

    by TopHat

    ...and Gwen Stacy is in it. Then, why not just include the Goblin, and Osborn, and Peter having to choose between Stacy and the bus? Yeah, it would be even MORE like the origin story from 2002, but, at least THIS time Stacy can actually die and the movie would be given the amazing emotional punch it needs, thereby making Peter a much more deep character. Include the fact that he makes smart remarks as Spider-Man and its the movie everyone has ever wanted. But, this whole thing with the webbing coming out his neck and running through tubes, and his parents "mysteriously" disappearing and having ties with Oscorp/Conners, and the "mysterious" suitcase, and the fact that Emma Stone is cast as Stacy (which, to me, means nothing is going to happen to her in this movie), and the character design for the "Lizard", and how desperate everything being released by Sony seems, and design for the suit, and the first person point of view camera use in the trailer (I don't care what anyone says, I know that's going to be in the actual film. I just know it. Especially with it being 3-D), and I'm really sensing an obvious attempt at copying Nolan's BATMAN movies. In BATMAN BEGINS, Ghul had ties with Bruce's parents death. In THE DARK KNIGHT, Rachael dies - This is what they're probably going to do with Stacy: The sequel will have the whole Green Goblin/Osborn stuff, and Stacy dies. I don't know what the third one will be like because RISES hasn't come out yet (FYI I watched BEGINS again the other day, and when Ghul is talking to Bruce at his mansion, while starting to burn it down, he says something like "When the forest starts to lose control, it must be burned back". I'm sure I misquoted it, but, it had to do with starting a fire - which is what Bane was talking about in the prelude footage...). There just doesn't seem to be any big, exciting stuff in this.

  • Jan. 27, 2012, 4:33 a.m. CST

    Andrew Garfield looks like fucking Kimmy Gibbler.

    by MelvintheMopBoy

    FACT!

  • Jan. 27, 2012, 4:34 a.m. CST

    PROOF!

    by MelvintheMopBoy

    Garfield: http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/02_1/AGarfieldDM0902_228x357.jpg Gibbler: http://media.ebaumsworld.com/mediaFiles/picture/438575/663245.jpg

  • Jan. 27, 2012, 5:13 a.m. CST

    They rebooted it to make it even WORSE?

    by Ricardo

    Oh boy, I can't wait NOT to see it.

  • Jan. 27, 2012, 6:06 a.m. CST

    The Emotastic Spider-Douche!

    by NeonFrisbee

    WAAAAAAAAAH! MY PARENTS DIDN'T LOVE ME! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! THEY ABANDONED ME! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! (How's my hair? Good? Thanks.) WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

  • Jan. 27, 2012, 6:51 a.m. CST

    Captain America 2

    by pearlanddean

    The guy who plays Dum Dum Dugan says he's back for the sequel which starts filming at the end of the year. So if that's right, is it going to be in WWII again? I thought they'd covered all that in the 1st one. And why isn't this fact reported here?

  • Uh, isn't Ziskin dead? Hellooooo??

  • Jan. 27, 2012, 7:41 a.m. CST

    I'll watch it cuz of Garfield

    by proevad

    Think I've got a little crush on him. I'd like to tuck him in at night and bake him things.

  • Jan. 27, 2012, 7:43 a.m. CST

    crashcow

    by Rupee88

    You are right that they will pay to see this and ensure many more bad movies are made. They are the problem, not the filmmakers who are just looking to make a profit.

  • Jan. 27, 2012, 8:21 a.m. CST

    But why the origin? AGAIN! There has to be a good reason

    by MichaelH

    This is the thing that truly fascinates me. Of all the stories they could tell they felt they just had to go back to the teenager discovering great responsibility. For reasons yet unknown to us they felt this was the most powerful story they could tell with Spider-Man. I know for certain that this is absolutely false because I've read Spider-Man stories for decades. The most powerful superhero stories are morality plays. That's why everyone goes back to the origin story. But you can stay true to the Stan Lee character, place him anywhere in the established mythology (which has gone all over the place) and come up with any number of powerful morality plays. It will be years before we get any explanation from the DVD extras.

  • ...will lead to Pete being experimented on as a kid and developing SPIDER shit, and Connors using Lizard DNA as things progress???? The mysterious suitcase will be Parkers link to this !!!!!AMAZING discovery!!!! and the showdown with Connors as his Spidey powers develop... parents disappear because of what they knew...blah...... wanting all the fame for himself... blah........ Uncle Ben knowing but hiding the truth....blah... reconciliation over death scene....BLAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I can fucking telegraph this shit a mile away, and ANYONE actually involved with the production reading this- do you have an original idea in your WHOLE body?????

  • Jan. 27, 2012, 10:09 a.m. CST

    Jayzuz

    by rbottoms

    I know us cranky old geeks want Spiderman and to forever be steeped in Ditko/Romita version of a nerd in 1964, but the Ultimate Universe is more than a decade old. It's a remake the same way that Tron updated to a universe without Atari 800's is a good idea.

  • Jan. 27, 2012, 10:36 a.m. CST

    scratchmonkey, they were LMDs, like the kind SHIELD uses

    by jim

    I thought it was the Chameleon who was behind it.

  • Jan. 27, 2012, 10:46 a.m. CST

    Intrigued, but dreading this.

    by Curious_Jorge

  • Jan. 27, 2012, 11 a.m. CST

    Really?

    by Cruizer Dave

    Sounds awful. A mysterious briefcase! OH! Peter dealing with Mommy and Daddy issues! OH! This sounds like that terrible early 2000s reboot of Spidey.

  • Jan. 27, 2012, 11:10 a.m. CST

    This needs to flop

    by Beezbo

    Or we will be seeing reboots (complete with recycled origin stories!) of Batman, the Hulk, etc. , etc.

  • Jan. 27, 2012, 11:47 a.m. CST

    ... or The Fantastic Four

    by jim

  • Jan. 27, 2012, 11:57 a.m. CST

    SMACKFU

    by the new transported man

    *WHOOOSHHH*

  • Jan. 27, 2012, 11:57 a.m. CST

    @big jim

    by buggerbugger

    My SHIELD knowledge is pretty much zero, so that doesn't leave me any the wiser, heh. Yes, they were Life Model Decoy android doodahs, but does that just mean they're regular androids, or can they shape-shift like the T-1000? I have a vague memory of the Parker LMDs turning out to be some kind of shape-shifting Spider Slayer robots, but I could be mixing that up with a Spider Slayer storyline that was written around the same time as the return of the android parents. The Chameleon built the LMDs, but he was secretly working for Norman Osborn, who was - I assume - still living in Europe at the time, allowing everyone to think he was dead. And then the Jackal turned up with spider clones, which was also masterminded by Osborn, lurking in the shadows. What a total dick.

  • Jan. 27, 2012, 12:26 p.m. CST

    Choppah, one of her characters certainly did

    by Adam13

    I recently read Paul Thoreaux's novel "Dr. Slaughter," which was turned into Half Moon Street starring Sigourney Weaver. In the novel, her character frequently gets butt-spelunked and notes that her many uber-rich middle-eastern business man clients are particularly fond of the practice. Now I haven't seen the movie in twenty years or so. I remember not caring much for it, but I don't remember if Weaver's professor/hooker character is as explicit about her clients' likes as she is in the book. Nonetheless, the character, as originally written, is definitely a Hershey Highwaywoman. Weaver is also a pretty committed actress, and I would imagine read the book. So perhaps she did some real in-character research and . . . Too much of a stretch? (Pun, unfortunately, intended.)

  • Jan. 27, 2012, 1:09 p.m. CST

    Slight change to origin story

    by LivingDeadMan

    Peter Parker gets gang raped by giant radioactive spiders.

  • I see no problem with this at all.

  • Jan. 27, 2012, 1:11 p.m. CST

    And I like the idea that Peter, like

    by dahveed1972

  • Jan. 27, 2012, 1:33 p.m. CST

    Not

    by shran

    interested.

  • average acting and story telling , but the other makes up for the rest

  • Jan. 27, 2012, 3:10 p.m. CST

    If you're starting over, I don't mind the parents idea

    by chien_sale

    they could have gone far crazier with it. Just the idea that he was abandonned and the briefcase sort of add to the mythos

  • Jan. 27, 2012, 3:19 p.m. CST

    @scratchmonkey

    by jim

    I don't recall them being shapeshifters but they could have been (it's been a real long time since I read those issues). The original LMDs were, I believe, simply androids. But, yeah, thanks to the popularity of James Cameron's T1000, I'm sure Marvel figured SHIELD should have something similar. Was it Norman Osborn, or Harry Osborn? Could have been either since, at any given time, at least one of them is being a total dick.

  • Jan. 27, 2012, 4 p.m. CST

    The definitive answer why this will suck (Huge Spoilers)

    by TopHat

    SWAT LIZARDS That's right. In the climax, Peter goes up against a SWAT team that has been transformed into Lizards by, The Lizard. Its on top of a building ...like in the story that featured Gwen Stacy's death. Considering Emma Stone is cast as Stacy, I sincerely doubt she dies. So, what we have here is a BATMAN BEGINS rip-off with the same cop out ending of SPIDER-MAN (2002). Glory be to God.

  • Jan. 27, 2012, 4:27 p.m. CST

    Stan Lee is rolling in his grave

    by Joe Plumber

  • Jan. 27, 2012, 4:29 p.m. CST

    Re: Everybody's Wrong. EVERYBODY.

    by ArmageddonProductions

    Peter Parker gets bit by a spider. I'll go with you guys and with the official synopsis that it should be in a lab somewhere, not in a fucking museum (hey, let's put a genetically-unstable, scientifically-engineered venomous spider in a museum where kids go everyday, then put it in a terrarium that apparently anything can escape from unnoticed!). However, any which way you tell the story, you have to include the fact that Peter Parker's first inclination is to use that power to get chicks, not become a superhero -- that's what always made the origin story so great. The angst came later and it was completely his fault, which in turn explains why some lower-middle class schlub struggling with college and a shitty photographer job goes out and beats the fuck out of criminals in a clown outfit while risking his life and his freedom on a daily basis. The comics got it right, Raimi got it right (in Part 1, anyway), seems like the new movie is gonna get it wrong. Once you introduce missing parents who were involved in some scientific horseshit and explain that this whole business was somehow predestined, you take away Spider-Man's basic appeal: that he's an ordinary, if not completely hopeless high school nerd with a few extra smarts being put in an extraordinary situation completely by chance, which he then compounds with his own mistakes. I'll reserve judgment until (and if) I see it, but I think they got off on the wrong foot already.