Cool News
G.I. JOOOOOOEEEEE (2)!!
Merrick here...
Yeah, yeah, many folks crap all over Sommer's G.I. JOE movie - but I thought it was a ton of goofy, unapologetically stupid-as-hell fun (my review is HERE) and I kinda/sorta wanna see more. Which looks like it's now a good possibility...
But thanks to some very reliable sources, I can report a screenwriter has been hired for G.I. Joe 2 (or whatever it’s going to be called) and Paramount is definitely moving forward with the project.
While I tried my best to find out who landed the writing gig, my sources wouldn’t budge.
...says THIS article over at Collider.
If memory serves, Sommers & cohorts had already developed ideas for a second film before the first one even hit theaters, so it'll be interesting to see how the new movie dovetails with what we've seen.
And, to pre-emptively address the inevitable cries of "Why?" and "nobody cares!", keep in mind that JOE pulled down north of $300 million globally. Which doesn't necessarily mean people are crying for more, but it's a pretty good justification for giving it to 'em...
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While I tried my best to find out who landed the writing gig, my sources wouldn’t budge.
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That has potential for hilarity.
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but it had some good action scenes
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What the hell, why not? I liked the first one. It was silly fun, looked cool, moved well, and Snake Eyes rocked. Snake Eyes!!!
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stormshadow is dead...im bored.
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... they can give us a Snake Eyes without black rubber lips. One that is actually badass? Is that too much to ask?
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because if we live in a world where a G.I. Joe sequel is acceptable, I'm not sure this is a world in which I want to live...
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Jan 07, 2010 11:53:55 AM CST
We just can't get enough Stupid in the good 'ol USA
by the reluctant austinite
Nuff said.
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Best movie of Summer 2009. Fuck Transformers, it was shit. Terminator was disappointing. Wolverine was meh. G.I. Joe was everything the Transformers films SHOULD'VE been - highly competent action films that were also love letters to the property and its fans.
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Thought the first one was the best dumb blockbuster this year.T4 and Tranformers were both huge let downs where as GIJoe was fun as hell,dumb yes but fun.
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cause you suck so bad. WORST MOVIE of the year by far. How much were you paid to say you thought it was fun? I now know not to listen to you or Harry. Who's next with their shitty opinion?
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they i will definitely go and watch the sequel in the cinema,instead of downloading like i did in the first movie.ha.
Btw wasnt there a nude shower scene of Zartan's sister,in the GIJOE animated movie from the 80s? -
they i will definitely go and watch the sequel in the cinema,instead of downloading like i did in the first movie.ha.
Btw wasnt there a censored nude shower scene of Zartan's sister,in the GIJOE animated movie from the 80s? -
I'm down with more JOE! The first one was stupid summer fun. If they weren't going ultra-serious then what else could you want? I had a fun time. The same fun time I had at "Speed Racer" which hardly anyone liked. "Joe" at least wasn't as insulting as "Transformers 2" and was more suitable for children. Give Snake Eyes his wolf and we're all set!
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The first was enjoyable. I wouldn't go so far as to call it good, but it's a fun, popcorn-flavored sort of mediocre as opposed to the soul-hurtingly awful likes of TRANSFORMERS and NINJA ASSASSIN.
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How's quitting Doctor Who working out for ya?
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With the "silent issue" story as the cold open!
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Jan 07, 2010 12:04:33 PM CST
I'd pay to see a big screen animated movie written by...
by royston lodge
... Warren Ellis.
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Can't wait to see more ... though I wouldn't mind Duke getting recast. More Baroness please.
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I liked the first one. Not enough to make any effort to watch it again, but I would see a sequel.
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Amp it UP!!!!
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...for the pod-ophile thing. Maybe 2 will be a lighter dose than the original.
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I want all action to stop mid gunfight cause roadblock sees some kid shoplifting. Roadblock proceeds to educate said kid.
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the power suits were still stupid
Enjoyed it more than the star trek reboot though -
it was fucking boring. Yeah you can forgive a 'stupid-fun' movie if it is actually fun. Like 'Taken'. But man this and Transformers 2 (which I saw 20 minutes of) were just fucking terrible.
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For all the hate on Michael Bay, Sommers really wishes he was Michael Bay. He flat stole a shot in GI Joe of flipping over a missle from Transformers. I'll take a Bay movie over a Sommers movie any day of the week.
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From the extravagant Cobra and Joe triple stacked headquarters, the vehicles, the weapons, the Baroness or was it the leather?
So wait a minute... since the Baroness flipped sides, does this means she's going to return in the sequel as Lady J or Big LOB? Who's handling the script?
fucking Jettl93 -
So you're the other person that liked Speed Racer! So many gear heads I know endlessly complained that it wasn't realistic enough for them. Why does every movie version have to be "grim and gritty" for people to like it?!?
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I wonder if the political climate has changed enough that the screenwriters will go ahead and make the team American? I think I mostly did not like the movie much, although I was moved by Baroness's self-conflict near the end. I think my favorite scene might be the big sub with the cobra symbol on it because I was finally seeing the cobra symbol. Or maybe it also occurred earlier in the movie; don't remember.
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Or, I liked it more than I disliked it. I thought it was visually one of the strangest movies I've seen and I've recommended it to people on the visuals alone. I thought for a movie that was aimed at children, or had children in mind, that many occurrences of "ass" was going to put off word of mouth by some parents, though.
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it wasn't the like the great AVATAR!(BTW- I think is horribly overrated) but, it was good fun. I have a feeling the 2nd one will make up for some of the issues the first had. The set up was awesome for Cobra, and if they continue the vibe they had, I think a lot of you haters are going to change your minds.
Maybe bring in a better director? -
GI JOE was a great time at the movies, I enjoyed the 80's cartoon and this movie was like the cartoon come to life! Ridiculous over the top villains, guns that shot all kinds of energy, lots of shit blowing up, and easy to follow action (something that shitformers lacked). Gimme part 2!
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I liked the first one. Not the greatest thing ever but solid and fun.
It could have been a lot better and I hope the sequel makes up for that.
I want to see Cobra in their full glory. -
Safe and controlled podding of a loved one...
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good movie but not for adults.
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Jan 07, 2010 12:21:01 PM CST
I thought it was ten times better than Bayformers
by jeangrey_x23_lesbosex
i'll see it if we have Serventor
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in a bad way. Not in the gentle Marvin Gaye style that Avatar did.
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More of that redhead... Yeah, she was pretty nice to look at...
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I'm just not interested. I didn't like the first one because it felt nothing like the GI Joe I remember loving as a child. Plain and simple. I realize some people don't agree. But hey, to each their own.
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DID THESE SAD, STUPID PIGFUCKERS SEE THE FIRST ONE - AND NOW THEY HAVE THE TREMERITY TO SEQUEL THIS SEETHING, BURNING GROIN RASH OF A MOVIE? FUCK. OFF. PLEASE. THANK. YOU.
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Jan 07, 2010 12:28:02 PM CST
The Speed Racer movie was better than the cartoon.
by theycallmemrtibbs
I said it,
Take it from someone who use to run home after school and sit through that dry ass cartoon just to see the Mach 5 in action or the few episodes that Racer -X was in.
To me, the theme song will forever be one of the greatest attached to any cartoon, too bad it's more memorable than the cartoon itself.
I'll take Battle of the Planets aka G-FORCE aka Gatchaman over "Speed" any day -
then yeah, you're right. GI Joe is an utter shitfest. I was actually looking forward to it because of the action. I knew beforehand that the story would be shit, the acting would be shit, everything would be shit but the action. Then I walk into theater and watch some boring, crappy action.Any adult who says "Speed Racer" is a great movie should seriously question their movie taste. You guys are saying 'its a kids movie' Well guess what? I saw that shit in IMAX (yeah, I know, what a fucking waste) and the kids sitting next to me were like: 'this movie sucks!' A whole class of kids on a school trip. So I don't know where the love for Speed Racer is coming from, other than the fact that any movie, regardless of how shit it is, must be loved by at least 5% of the population.
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...GIVE COBRA COMMANDER HIS SILVER HELMET OR HOOD OR DON'T BOTHER!
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than in the Day the Earth Stood Still.
Same weapon, different movie
It's True -
Jan 07, 2010 12:44:13 PM CST
G.I. JOE WAS THE SECOND SOMMERS MOVIE I MASTURBATED TO
by bringingsexyback
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Jan 07, 2010 12:46:36 PM CST
SAILOR - COBRA COMMANDER PUT ON THE SILVER HEAD CONDOM
by bringingsexyback
at the end of the movie.
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it was really long and had a bunch of mumbojumbo about the stock market and corporate takeovers that just went right over their heads.I thought it was okay, but like the kids, I found it a tad long for what it was delivering.
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Jan 07, 2010 12:48:25 PM CST
SIRBIATCH - YOU DIDN'T STAB THOSE KIDS IN THE MOUTH
by bringingsexyback
with a #2 pencil?
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What's the FIRST Sommers movie that inspired self-abuse?
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with Rachel Weicz in the Nefertitty outfit ...
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...but I remember having some pretty evil thoughts watching Famke in Deep Rising... Thought that might have been a contender...
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destro,and commander in jail,baroness made good, storshadow dead. I really don`t see how they had a plan for a sequel here? Dr Mindbender being played by Summers butt-buddy and all. Can`t see him doing much harm...
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And knowing is half the...aww forget it.
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Is it something like Cobra tries to take over the world and Joe stops them?
I have an idea for a movie, the plot involves identifying the "No Shit Sherlock" gene in humans and destroying it. -
The 1st Movie sucked Ass! The 2nd will suck even more Ass!
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TOTAL DESTRUCTION TO T O T A L FUCKING D E S T R U C T I O N. Still, the first one beat Bayformers 2! I would love to see a gritty G.I. JOe ala recent Marvel Comics... sigh, only if, only if...
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Wow.
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COBRA LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALASLALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA!
coff! coff! ahem--sorry need a cup of water, oh yeah, where was I?
LALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALA! -
He makes live-action Saturday morning cartoons. GI Joe captured the spirit of the '80s cartoon almost perfectly, and I'll see a sequel.
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I ain't interested. Take your apologist bullshit elsewhere fanboys. Fun, Popcorn movie my ass.
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Jan 07, 2010 1:18:44 PM CST
This is the best news EVER!!!!
by isleptwithkathybatesandallthatigotwasthi
Okay, it's far from the best news ever but i actually liked the first one. It was stupid and fun in a way that Transformers 2 could only dream about.
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Sorry guys/gals, but once the storylines, toys and comics got into Snake cults, mutations and magic, it was over, Johnny. IT'S OVER. If you want these movies to jump the shark even more, bring Serpentor in by all means.
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I'm a UT graduate and proud of it!!!
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I'm still FUCKING PISSED that the studio didn't preview the first movie to anyone but the cunts that run internet movie websites who, of course, proceeded to slobber all over it because they were given preferential treatment by Paramount. FUCK YOU COCKSUCKERS!!!
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Nuff sed
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I'm very curious how Micronauts will be handled, since I was more into them than I was into G.I. Joe. Although I also fear about the potential for an unhappy result. Since the toys are relatively alien, I'm at a stage of "I wonder how they'll handle (whatever)?" By "alien" I mean like a translucent Time Traveller for instance.
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DO IT!!!!!!!!!!
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Was when the icebergs started to break off and started to SINK! In SEAWATER! That's like Paris Hilton stepping out of a car without showing her snatch, it's scientifically impossible.
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i would like to see a sequel
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The story of Steven Sommers rise to hollywood. See what I did there. Gee I Blow.
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Keep Wayans out of it....or better yet, just don't even bother making this shit. You thought it was fun because you never dug the original show, or read the comics. I have had more interesting bowel movements. Fuck this movie GI Joe series. Well, Scarlett was pretty damn hot, but it soon got killed when she made out with Wayans, that was gross.
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It was just boring. Aside from providing Joseph Gordon Levitt another opportunity to prove how awesome he is, there is nothing to recommend it.And, importantly, Speed Racer was amazing.
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did they see the same movie i did? because the one i saw ended with them escaping on a submarine with the Cobra symbol on its side, ready to start the organization.
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I was poised to shit all over it from the trailer footage I had seen, which showcased a cringe worthy Marlan Wayans acting a fool. Then a friend of mine, who loves shitty movies, brought the DVD over. Turns out the trailer was very misleading and it wasn't entirely awful, all things considered. In fact, had they toned it down any more it would have strayed from the over the top exuberance of the property. This is a series based on a toy franchise, and though it is certainly not beyond reproach, I have to say it did meet, and in some cases exceeded, my expectations.
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They were in their sub but were confronted by an army. I remember them standing somewhere, the last I saw them. I thought at that point, they had been apprehended but my memory is a bit dim on that.
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...As some of you may know i liked transformers 2... i can understand why some of you all disliked it, but how the hell can you like GI Joe and defend it by sayin it was fun, when TF was fun also... every defense i heard sayin Joe is good, is the same defense i have for TF. both movies were racist (when Marlon said somethin somethin ninja), both dumb, both fuckin glorified toy commercials, and both had action... sure Joe didnt have a military heaven, but TF didnt have a cardboard box "lead" the movie... ps: it hurt me to see JGL do Joe
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i don't know if they can pull off the same balance a second time, but i look forward to see them try.
I thought joseph gordon levitt was awesome in his part -
So when I rented it and my 8 year old son lost interest 25 minutes in and I painfully FORCED myself to finish that pile of shit, that was FUN? I was actually mad after watching the movie. It made me appreciate The Phantom Menace. Seriously. Episode 1 is a masterpiece compared to Gi Joe. Shit, even the Godzilla remake was easier to sit through. The only thing in Gi Joe worth watching was Ray Park's Snake Eyes. And they even managed to fuck up his mask with lips. I will avoid this sequel as a rental or even as a CBS saturday night movie.
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...was ok despite havin a white Speed Racer... its also funny that another actor in the movie would have been a better, more ideal speed (Rain)... But then i would complain bout Hollywood usin an Korean actor instead a Japanese one (which i currently do, coincidentally wit Rain in PseudoNinja Asshole)
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if that's saying anything.
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That "ghost" racing with Rex blew my mind, then...Royalton arrives, it becomes an impeneratable slog. Damn shame, those races are great, and I love the family.Still haven't seen GIJoe, strangely I look forward to it.
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I didn't completely hate it and I was only hoping for more if they give Cobra Commander the silver face mask. BSB that was Destro that got the silver head not CC.
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They replace Channing Tatum i'll be quite open to a second one. The guy only has one facial expression and has as much personality as a stale dog turd. The first wasn't great but it could have been far worse and it's the only film by one of the most over rated directors ever, that i've quite enjoyed
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One of the best movies of the year, in my opinion. Far better than GI Joe, which was entertaining but very, very, flawed.
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Not without a trailer that looks like GI Joe, instead of the flaming bag of shitty movie cliches the first one was.
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heh...
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I would kind of love for these to go direct to video. BUT not have direct to video sensibilities. Give them to cool directors and see what happens.
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Some of actually liked that ass of a movie the only compliment i can truly make is "at least it was better then Transformers 2"
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Not really. The Gi Joe cartoon was actually more serious and less jokey than the movie. And as far as Speed Racer goes, I wouldn't even compare the two movies. The Wachowskis actually seemed to love the source material and at least tried something new and fresh. Sure, it failed commercially but it wasn't a "by the numbers" failure. Gi Joe is about as generic a movie as I have ever seen. There is nothing in that move that wasn't in every summer blockbuster in the past 10 years (and done better in most).
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While they were busy brainstorming (use of term brain is questionable) ideas for the second film, it seems that they forgot to think up ideas for the first film. My real concern is how bad Transformers 2 sucked, because I've head GI Joe was better, and Joe could blow the chrome off a bumper.
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"While I tried my best to find out who landed the writing gig, my sources wouldn’t budge."
It must be...JettL93! -
Still be a load of meaningless toy-flogging bollocks though, won't it?
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I don't like Destro's new mask. I like the big heavy thick iron mask with the bolts and shit. The movie is shit, but it seems brilliant after being subjugated to Transformers 2. Snake Eyes was lame, his visor was lame & so were his lips. He should be a bad-ass and he wasn't.
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Destro and Commander will be sprung before the opening credits end. Action to begin immediately. Make it so!
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Everyone should parachute to safety even it they fall off a motorcycle at gound level. PARACHUTES!
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I needed subtitles to unnerstand him.
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We need a M.A.S.K movie immediatley!
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Jan 07, 2010 3:01:05 PM CST
Godzilla '98 pulled in near 400 mil and never saw a sequal
by geomancer21
And they had signed on the actors and green lighted two more movies
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That was no where even close to the comic or cartoon version of his helmet.
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Snake Eyes version 2, the most well-known and also the one used in the movie, had lips on his mask. I still have the original figure and can confirm that. Granted, I think it looks goofy in live-action, but people's cries of "why does he have lips on his mask?!" can be answered right there. The movie's Snake Eyes is copying the toy exactly.
As far as the TF2/GIJoe debate... both were pretty awful. And, I hate Bay's TF's more than anything on earth (was basically forced to watch TF2 - long story), but GIJoe was the worst "film" of the two by far. I could barely stomach the acting. So over-the-top and retarded. We're talking USA Channel Original Special bad. The only person in TF2 who even came close to that bad was the government guy who kept shouting that he'd taken over the military's mission with Optimus. Not even Shia was that horrible - even including his shouting "Optimus!" and "Bumblebee!" every five seconds. -
Because if you do, I'd rather have it.
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that's good enough for me.
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exactly because it pulled in $400 million. Basically, these studios are interested in name recognition more than quality and someone's going to end up seeing it. As long as there's a couple million left over for canny directors like Neill Blomkamp who are interested in making good, original genre movies, whatever, let studios waste $200 million on shit. It seems studios can do less with more while this new crop of producer/directors can do more with less.
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and made a fortune! Being an anal-retentive nerd finally paid off.
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Though the Toho studios shouldn't complain because most of their Godzilla movies out of the 90s and on sucked ass right along also.
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but it has guilty pleasure written all over it. I'll admit: I even liked Van Helsing in a 'this Thursday evening nothing spectacular is going to happen’ way.
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It amazes me how anyone found the movie to be good or even fun. It was painful to sit through. The acting, CGI, story, characters were pathetic. Sommers managed to dumb down a movie based on a cartoon/action figures. I paid $10 to sit through a movie that looked like your typical low budget, cheesy Sci-Fi channel movie. It was like suffering through the live action He-Man movie all over again 20+ years later. Sommers said when he took over that he never cared for the cartoon or the backstories and wanted to come up with own fresh take. BIG MISTAKE. He also said people would get offended with the original Cobra Commander hooded look because it resembled a KKK member. Someone needs to get rid of Sommers and hire a better director that actually liked G.I. Joe. Go watch the original cartoon mini-series. The story, the characters, the writing are far better.
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He likes GI Joe. Go buy him things from his Amazon wish list!
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And I would happily watch that. his crazy hammy ham over the top hammy acting was the best thing about that movie (well, that and the accelerator suit sequence which was pretty nifty). So, to revise, we need 70 minutes of Gordon Levitt being evil and laughing manically and 30 minutes of accelerator suit action scenes and we got a movie.
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Why does every G.I. Joe article have people drooling over a FULL CLOTHED Baroness? If you want to drool over Sienna Miller save your money and brain cells and good look up her name online because there are plenty of nude pics of her out there from movies and taken by the paparazzi. Those pics are far more entertaining that her performance was in G.I. Joe!
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The world is counting on you, Mr. Writer.
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In her underwear. Every. Single. Scene. GI Joe is a bad movie, but it has fits and spurts of entertainment. It's just very, very bad around it. but take those 3 elements (accelerator suits, Rachel nichols, Gordon Levitt) and you got yourself a movie!
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Speed Racer was awesome. Best movie ever? No but far better than G.I. Joe because like mentioned it stuck to the source material. They didn't try and change the characters backstories or looks. Also the movie is by far one of the best looking blu rays out there. Total eye candy.
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And Up and Star Trek are better than all of them. There's your official summer movie rankings. Go forth and multiply.
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That ">" key is damn close to the ":" key, did you know that?
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Okay, THAT'S your official summer movie rankings.
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Wherein they both have small, flitting moments of pretty and fun, but overall it's just loud, noisy, irritating garbage for the most part. You can find entertainment in either of those films, but why fucking bother? To squeeze blood from a stone? Just watch Optimus Prime punch that robot through the chest and tear it's face off in TF2 instead. That one moment is equal to all of the entertainment value in GI Joe and Speed Racer. Combined. And TF2 isn't as good as the first TF movie either. So that's a long, roundabout way of saying that Speed Racer and GI Joe are both bad movies. Not horrible. Just bad.
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To the extent that I suggested it to my sister and brother-in-law for their Netflix queue. And someone said to me, "Does your sister like exploding heads?" but they liked the movie so much that when one of my brothers and sister-in-law were visiting, my brother-in-law and sister did not at all mind re-watching about half the movie so we could watch it together.
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Did anyone else think, when watching Transformers 2, that Optimus Prime was a bit of a psycho who enjoyed killing far too much? He musn't have been breast fed or something
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Jan 07, 2010 3:48:13 PM CST
Has the national casting search for BIG LOB begun yet?
by gibsonusa returns
Obstacle course to determine acceptable levels of move-making.
G.I. Joe finished up its least season decently, but its obvious changes need to be made.
Head Coach: Sommers stays. Directing was fine.
Retain: Snake Eyes, Scarlett, Duke (though he's simply sitting as our draft pick develops), Hawk.
Cut: Ripcord, "International Organization", accelerator suits, Breaker, Heavy Duty, Nerdy Destro, Nerdy Cobra Commander.
Acquire: BIG LOB, Roadblock, Beachhead, "Real AMERICAN hero", Russian Baronness, badass Destro, badass Cobra Commander.
We hope make the divisional playoff with these changes.
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Jan 07, 2010 3:54:25 PM CST
It was good for a crap film. Smidgen better than Tran2.
by damien chowder
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Jan 07, 2010 3:57:44 PM CST
Part 2 requires Channing Tatum to have corrective eye surgery.
by damien chowder
The boze-eyed bastitch.
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Part 2 requires Tatum to be replaced by a plank of wood. A change like that would make Duke instantly more likeable
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The band is back together.
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Besides the acting (I never thought it could get worse than the Star Wars prequel acting... boy was I wrong), Duke is the single most horrible thing about the movie. Bad actor. Character is completely miscast. Just awful.
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Jan 07, 2010 4:21:34 PM CST
GI JOE was better than TRANSFORMERS 2, TERMINATOR 4...
by i hope you die
...WOLVERINE and STAR TREK. It manage to achieve the high water mark of 2009 action movies: one scene logically followed another. Apparently that's all we can hope for now.
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Speed Racer is miles better than Transformers 2. One stupid badly rendered punch is better than a whole movie with groudbreaking visuals?Please go away.
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Hated the whole "The Baroness is really good but being controled to be EVOL". Weak.
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I took my younger brother-in-law to see this with zero expectations. As an 80s child, I've grown accustomed to Hollywood raping my memories (see Indy 4, Transformers, Star Wars prequels, etc.)
This was actually a blast, had enough elements of the source to score nostalgia points with me and enough "shit go boom" scenes to entertain the next generation. The Snake Eyes scenes ruled. I'll be their for the sequel. -
I meant "there."
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And I loved it - of course, I loved the cartoon too. Now make sure our new writer doesn't include ANY flashbacks.
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"No comment" IS a comment. As for GI Joe, did not see the first, most likely won't see the second.
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Nothing about that movie was any kind of fun, and I don't think there's a bigger no talent, fucking ghetto ass clown in Hollywood right now than Channing Tatum. I knew right there that this movie was going to suck huge sac, and with the aid of Marlon Wayans, what a shit fest. Absolute garbage.
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I wanted to cut the eyes from my face watching G.I Joe , I was in a coma by the end....(No one even put Selina Miller out of her misery , what a wastes opportunity)
I just hope Christopher Eccelston got paid a vast amount of cash for the shame of it all.... -
...fighting in a vat of jello would totally work for me. Heck, two hours of them reading the phone book would work too.
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I could finish watching G.I. Joe twice. Transformers 2 I couldn't finish one, ONE, sitting.
I think the reason why is it had spunk. It was bad like, Duke-Tatum = Megan Fox in charisma. It's saving grace was chaos it was so cluttered with everybody else that Duke just became a side item. On top of that it didn't have the Beef going stuttering loco in class. That's not even including the terrible sfx, the Global Intergratated Joint Opperating Entity, or Snake Eyes lips, seriously what's up with those things.
The real star actually was Sienna Miller and prior to this movie I had only seen her in Stardust and Casanova. JGL pretty much owned every scene he was in even though you barely see his face. Though his reveal had me thinking he was laughing his ass off. -
Towards the end of the first movie General Hawk says that the UN has revoked their charter and that all the foreign based people would have to return to their regular military.
They had so many hours before they had to report, so in the meantime they geared up for one last mission together.
That was the end of the GI JOE movie.
Now flash forward to the new movie.
GI JOE would now have to replace all of its foreign operators with US ones.
And that leaves a perfect opportunity to bring in much loved characters from the show/comic.
Roadblock: Terry Crews, replaces Heavy Duty as the heavy weapons/demo guy.
Dialtone: Clifton Collins Jr replaces Breaker as the comms/hacking guy.
Lady Jaye: Michelle Rodriguez replaces Cover Girl as eye candy #2 on the Joes team.
You then could add a couple of other Joes to strengthen the team.
Maybe Ryan Hurst as Gung Ho, and Josh Holloway as Shipwreck.
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Yeah, the first movie was retarded, but it wasn't completely terrible. In fact, there's a solid foundation to work on.
Ways to improve it:-Recast Duke. Tatum was/is terrible.-Have Snake-Eyes find reason to believe Storm Shadow is alive. SE, with Scarlet in tow (to keep an eye on him), tracks him and comes to an understanding that SS was not the real killer of their master.-Make the Joes split up and go to different locations across the globe. At each location, there's a Joe specialist for that environment. Easy way to expand the roster and gives a good opportunity for cross-cutting which heightens the pace.-Updated but recognizable Joe and Cobra vehicles. Let's see some HISS tanks.-Joes have to flush out the President. Think of a scene of Snake-Eyes, Storm Shadow, and Scarlett assaulting the White House to kill the President.-put some color into the costumes. Some Cobra blue. Joes should have some earthtone costumes, not all-black spandex.-get rid of Sommers. Honestly. Or at least reign his ass in.
I think there's obvious potential for the franchise. There's a solid base for future movies. They just need to tweak a few things.
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I learned about it on this site, so it is appropriate I share it with others here.
http://tinyurl.com/mo7jj2 -
...over anymore Mummy films.
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You like gibberish anime rip-off visuals in Speed Racer that are about as exciting as watching a gumball machine roll down a hill? And lest I remind you that the Lead Fucking Actor in the movie is EMILE HERSH?! Christsakes, every single actor in TF2 can act circles around that monotone motherfucker.
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Jan 07, 2010 6:46:59 PM CST
Yeah, Speed Racer is REALLY groundbreaking visually. Right.
by tall_boy66
So groundbreaking that NOBODY has tried to emulate it in a single way? Anime style is corny as hell in live action. Fact.
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That is how the editing is done in Speed Racer. To annoy the fuck out of you. It's not a movie. It's annoying the fuck out of you.
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Jan 07, 2010 6:50:46 PM CST
Speed Racer is a future arthouse masterpiece. Joe is just fun.
by reflecto
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It's a complete conceptual misfire and talented filmmakers completely disappearing up their own asshole with incoherent cinema tricks that do not inspire a single goddamn thing except to realize that slavish devotion to anime is not going to translate well to live action. That's what Speed Racer is. And it has Emile Hirsh. So it is not a good movie. Period.
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It ended in a good place to setup some much-closer-to-cartoon GI Joe vs Cobra all out battles. If they can just lose the accelerator suits & Wayans, I'll be all for it! Oh, and keep Sienna Miller as a brunette in black leather, for the love of God keep that in there!!!!
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Jan 07, 2010 7:21:17 PM CST
So, it's written in stone that Speed Racer is a bad movie?
by creamcheesealchemist
That sounds more like an opinion to me. It's definitely more of an otaku film, though- what I'd picture a director raised on Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh would do with one of those properties- revel in the junk aesthetic. YGO actually goes into corporate intrigue in the most pathetic way imaginable.
As for Rise of Cobra, it's like the Funhouse cartoon episode.
You know, where Cobra's got a theme park trap in a Mayan pyramid, complete with the likes of baseball-bat-armed jack-in-the-boxes and LSD-filled balloons.
Oh and, Cobra Commander, all you really have to do is get the Joes into compromising same-sex positions, leak the photos and watch them all get discharged. -
I watched Speed Racer with my son. He absolutely loved it.I watched G.I. Joe and thought it was fun, despite its flaws.Who are you guys to tell me what I should enjoy and what I shouldn't? Note - I enjoy all manner of movies, performance and art. Not all of it has to be high brow to be worthwhile.
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Yeah that's right. I said it. Now what, fuckers?
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Jan 07, 2010 7:30:12 PM CST
You sound like a great writer for Entertainment Weekly, tall_boy
by reflecto
Nice straight path down the middle of the road. Submit your resume now.
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Movies such as GI Joe, Transformers, Speed Racer etc, they are all pretty shallow movies with a sole purpose - to entertain. To be fun, and enjoyed as is.Terminator 4 aimed higher than this, this aimed to be a combination of summer blockbuster and a tale about the human condition - and it fell short. As such, it was the worst movie of the summer.
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... then the second movie can be mainly about Scarlet like the first one was mainly about the Baroness.
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I was expecting pure, unadulterated shit that wasn't remotely enjoyable on any level, but I actually found myself enjoying the movie. I mean, it wasn't as cool as I wanted it to be, and I wish to hell Sommers would stop trying to put humor in movies when the man doesn't have a fucking clue about what's funny, but it was genuinely entertaining and goofy fun. It was closer to the sort of fun Sommers managed to create on The Mummy, where you might roll your eyes at some of the gags, but there was enough good to compensate. I didn't beg for those 2 hours of my life back. And, where Sommers is concerned, that's as close to a ringing endorsement as the man is ever likely to get.
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You know what, I didn't like Avatar. I thought it was boring. If it wasn't for the visuals, I would have asked for my money back.
Don't get me wrong, I can't deny the success, but its a very mediocre movie, that over time others will feel the same. Style over substance. What makes me laugh, is that in theory, GI Joe and Avatar are the same style of movie, except I thought GI Joe was more entertaining. Let me explain:
Basically everyone killed GI for its story, yet Avatar's generic storyline seems to get a pass. Everyone dogged out GI Joe's special effects, however, Avatar relied only on it's special effects.
I know this is waaayyy too much to ask, but I wish people would just stop following the herd, and lead once in awhile with their own opinions. -
The only returning characters should be Scarlet, Snake Eyes, and Hawk.Storm Shadow lived and was frozen in ice long enough to be retrieved and tended to.New movie needs: Beachhead, Bazooka and Alpine, Roadblock, Wild Bill, Flint, Lady J and Gung Ho. Cobra needs the Dreadnaughts, and Xamot and Tomax.
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I was totally neutral on G.I Joe, so the prospect of a sequel is a non-event for me. That's not a bad thing, just be a DVD rental ....like the first one. Is averageness a word? Doesn't seem like should be, probably not then.
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Just kidding obviously, though I bet he'll eventually get on here and claim he's already done one draft
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"Everyone dogged out GI Joe's special effects, however, Avatar relied only on it's special effects."
Avatar's effects were a necessity to create a foreign world populated with Aliens that were not achievable practically. G.I Joe's effects were more in line with the Mummy Returns and subsequently were justifiably shat on. -
it's such a shame that the youth of today will never know the potential that was lost when they made that crappy flick
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Jan 07, 2010 8:10:09 PM CST
Some very good ideas in here in addition to BIG LOB.
by gibsonusa returns
Stuff said in this TB I agree with:
- Uniforms: Cobra blue and G.I. Joe earth tones.
- G.I. Joe is now a U.S. entity.
- Scarlett following Snake Eyes.
(No more Ripcord!)
- Zartan and the Dreadnaughts.
Zartan is now the President, right? Snake Eyes busting in would indeed be awesome.
Stuff I may add:
-BIG LOB: What the world is waiting for.
- U.S. flags everywhere.
- THE CONQUEST X-30! The G.I. Joe forward wing jet!
Characters:
- Lena Headey as Lady Jaye.
- Brock Lesnar as Chuckles.
- John Leguizamo as Tunnel Rat.
- Mario Lopez as Ace.
- Donnie Yen as Quick Kick.
- Joe Pantoliano as Shipwreck.
- Sgt. Slaughter as Sgt. Slaughter.
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Look...I'm sick of the charges of elitism against those who simply know a shitty film when they see one. "Stupid as Hell" is not fun...it is stupid as hell...and so are those who think it's fun.
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"Avatar's effects were a necessity to create a foreign world populated with Aliens that were not achievable practically". I get that, but he should have had a better story to execute that world and its beings. Come on' man, Transformers had some kick ass special effects, but the story was awful to the ninth degree. At least GI Joe had an interesting plot device, even though it could have been executed better.
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But first get rid of the guy from the mummy (Assloo vosloser)and cast either an english chap or some aussie. it works for hollywood, just ask russel crowe, sam worthington, eric bana, hugh jackman and christian bale.
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Jan 07, 2010 8:29:35 PM CST
One of the Dreadnoks better have a bright yellow ponytail...
by gibsonusa returns
...and sunglasses.
And BIG LOB better have his haircut. -
flocka
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I honestly want to see how they pull those two off in live action.
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I finally watched the first one last weekend and really enjoyed it. I was surprised how loyal to the cartoon/comic it was in both tone and story. I'm glad they didn't try to make it ultra-realistic, because that was never what GIJOE was about, at least not the 80s version. Would it be too much to ask for a Scarlett/Baroness lesbian scene?
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Jan 07, 2010 9:11:19 PM CST
Cast the female Coors Light Twins as Tomax and Xamot
by gibsonusa returns
A creative liberty I would not protest. :P
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I'm sure Transformers had kick ass effects, if the camera stayed still long enough and a shot lasted more then an eighth of second I could enjoy them. G.I Joe peaked at the Paris sequence and it's strongest point was that it was unapologetic and very straightforward about what type of movie it was, that I respect, even if it didn't make an impression on me.
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...or 40th (who really gives a fuck right?) to do the catchy little sequel-a-title...GII Joe. See how I slipped that "II" in? Yes Hollywood I am available to name all your dreck so give me a call. I already have a part 3 title in mind.
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and I look forward to the sequel.
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and I look forward to the sequel.
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Jan 07, 2010 9:35:01 PM CST
At least we know the Cobra's will wear blue
by ihaveseeneveryepisodeofprisonbreak
Because you know, people were blue in Avatar.
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Jan 07, 2010 9:35:05 PM CST
At least we know the Cobra's will wear blue
by ihaveseeneveryepisodeofprisonbreak
Because you know, people were blue in Avatar.
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Where Storm Shadow is jetpacking away with Baronness. It almost had a videogame vibe to it, and was fun.
I actually didnt like the Paris scene at all. By the time I got to the theater, the trailer and TV spots already showed me them crashing through the bus, and Snake Eyes on top of the Hummer.
Other than that it was just cheesy stupidity. "That suit costs millions of dollars"...trip and fall! Har har. "There's an instruction manual?" Har har. Ripcord catching Scarlet you could see a mile away and was so cheesy. The whole accelerator suit concept needs to go.
The attack on Joe HQ imo was great in part due to the abscence of those suits. -
"Let's get those emacs!"
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is as bad as it can get, it gets worse. No, I won't ask why. I know there is no "why." If art is a window into the soul, I will let others tell us what they see when they look into their souls through the prism of Avatar and GIJOE.
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was the Baroness. And then they fucked it up and had her only be bad because someone messed with her brain. Morons.
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http://tinyurl.com/yc33bws I cannot agree more about his thoughts on Marlon Wayans Or Sgt. Slaughter
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Jan 07, 2010 10:33:17 PM CST
Thanks, reflecto. Keep think Speed Racer is actually good
by tall_boy66
"Ooohh! It's pretty and shiny! And the editing is really quick and looks like that 60s cartoon! How innovative!" Yeah, great stuff there. Real groundbreaking to rip off some anime flick which cumulative effect is to annoy the fucking piss out of the audience.
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Jan 07, 2010 10:36:37 PM CST
Seriously, reflecto, how in the Fuck is Speed Racer "arthouse"?!
by tall_boy66
You know many art-house cinemas that show a kaleidoscope pin wheel with big "WHRRRRRRR!!! VROOOMMMM!!!" sound effects interjected with close ups on Emile Hirsh trying to emote? Cause I don't know many art house cinemas that would show that. And they wouldn't show Speed Racer. Cause it's a bad movie. The. End.
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Absolutely, take her out one time this I promise she won't have herpes.
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At least it didn't drop trou and shit all over an existing series that had expectations and a decent backstory. And I'll take a rapping guinea pig over a Wayans any day of the week.
This is my favorite example of fuckwitted screenwriting for 2009, even more than DAWSON'S TREK...the story's there already, thanks to the cartoon and comic series, all it needs is to be put in front of the cameras with the requisite CGI and actors, and the cunts still couldn't even get in the ballpark.
(What kind of monkeywrenching dickbreath turns the world's most lovably vicious snatch, The Baroness, into a blonde American that marries into a European Barony before going over to the Dark Side thanks to some Cobra plot or other?)
Fuck everybody who tries to use the "fun!" card on this POS. You have no fucking taste or brains whatsoever. Please take all your money to Atlantic City so you can lose everything, not have any more children, and keep your recessive genes from spreading. -
Jan 07, 2010 11:18:36 PM CST
Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 was closer to source material.
by gibsonusa returns
No accelerator suits.
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"Oh, I have no idea what they do in those fucking races, sweetie. I guess they just rev up their cars and drive around big, garish obstacles and smash them into each other and things like that. It's all a little too butch for this little lady's taste, I can tell ya. But that Emile Hirsch sure is a tasty little tidbit isn't he?
"Hold on, sugar. Let me see if Alejandro's ready to give you that Brazilian." -
LMAO...too true!
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Jan 07, 2010 11:32:07 PM CST
Top 5 things that must be included with BIG LOB in GI Joe 2
by gibsonusa returns
5. CORRECT ATTIRE: No accelerator suits. Duke needs to accelerate just to keep up. High school basketball shirt tucked neatly into cargo pants and old work boots. Big Lob is a frugal individual.
4. SPEECH: No stereotypical slang. Big Lob is a well spoken.
3. NARRATION: Big Lob provides his own running commentary.
2. FISTS: Big Lob don't need no gun. Duke can have it.
1. MOVES: You'll know it...when you see it. -
At least for the U.S. poster. Thanks.
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Before I heard it for myself from youtube, I wasn't sure if people referring to it were serious. (Maybe it's only in the G.I. cartoon movie and regards Cobra-La?) It amused me to think of it as being from a schism of Cobra that adopted some smurf-like beliefs and sang their melody as part of their battle cry.
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yeah I like him in some films and he shows talent. But man his character was so fucking retarded. Walks into evil scientists lab: "Wow, this is beautiful. I'm gonna turn evil brah".
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I think they all made sure the check cleared before they even showed up on set...
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Is this one going to have more terrible characters from 3rd world countries acting like everyones equal and the UN works?
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Jan 08, 2010 12:56:16 AM CST
G.I. JOE 2: ENTER THE LOB should be based DOMESTICALLY.
by gibsonusa returns
Cobra should set up base and the entire storyline should take place in the United States, or at least North America.
G.I. Joe is Americana. The movie should be a virtual tour of the United States, from downtown NYC to the beaches of Florida, from sea to shining sea. -
needs to be locked in a backwoods attic where no filmmaker can find him. Who puts this turd in a $100 million + movie?
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As I watched the movie, on an intellectual level I recognized that it was complete drek, yet still, I was entertained enough to keep watching, and enjoyed it despite it's silliness. Joseph Gorden Levitt's Cobra Commander was fantastic, I hope they keep him onboard, and ditch Channing Tatum. He was pretty much the only actor in the film who felt nothing like his character. Ditch the accelerator suits and use some of the classic Cobra soldier designs. There are a ton of awesome designs in the history of Cobra to choose from, there is no excuse for dull, generic looking Cobra soldiers. I would love to see the old Cobra Viper or BATS designs make an appearance.
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Beleve it or not i actually liked it.
The thing they need to polish is small things like actual dialog. Chaning tatums stiff duke.
Snake eyes having a mouth on a mask, when he doesnt talk anyways. lol. -
1) First scene features slow, real-life impaling of Stephen Sommers 2) Remaining screen time is actually BATMAN 3. You're welcome.
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Thought you lot would prefer to be part of a legal multinational force these days...
Just yanking your chains there my dear septics! However the first film was awful, I'd rather rewatch Revenge of the Fallen and laugh my tits off at the Jivebots... -
If any of you saw the British comic then you would see a international team is better instead of USA USA USA.
Is the GI Joe movie perfect - NO
Baroness was miscast, story only OK, Lack of Blue uniforms, Boo.
But then I liked it, It won't win the Oscar but it was enjoyable as long as you remember it is FICTION. In real life Cobra would last about 5 minutes before the USA and Allies Kick their faces in, or blow them away any way.
I think some of you forget 90% of the profit is NOT RAISED IN AMERICA. But around the world and an All Yank team would just be Team USA live action. Straight to DVD. -
Since when did that become unacceptable?
If they made Sherlock Holmes or James Bond an American living in Texas, people would (understandably) complain right?
Well G.I. Joe is traditionally American. The "G.I." has stood for "Government Issue", used for U.S. soldiers, and has been this way for the better part of a half century. It's been officially known as "Real American Hero" since the early 80s.
That sometimes international characters would appear does not take away from the fact that G.I. Joe is traditionally American.
Now a movie is made, decades of tradition is broken, they completely change what "G.I." stands for, and we're not allowed to say anything? -
Jan 08, 2010 4:33:10 AM CST
Woot Bigotry, If you dont believe Real American Heroes should be
by saen
Because that makes any dam sense at all.
Oh and 90% of the profit is not raised overseas, if you actually look it up instead of spouting made up garbage it comes out about 50/50.
http://www.boxofficemojo.com/movies/?id=gijoe.htm
Making GI JOE not American, it is like making James Bond not a Brit.
What's next Captain America?
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What bothers me about this news of a sequel is that it means it'll be even longer before we get a proper adaptation.
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Really a bad movie?Cmon I loved this movie,Is fucking amazing,funny,big ass explosions,bullets,my dad used to say,"Nah that movie is gonna suck"
and he absolutely changed his status when he saw the movie,now he loves the movie more than I
P.S.SFBE -
Just like I did with Transformers 2,(with a splitting hangover-bad mistake) and in fairness GI Joe was everything it was supposed to be: a kids film, specifically a young boys movie aimed squarely at young boys (and tom-boys), nothing more, nothing less. Sure I winced at the awful dialogue especially between the Wayans guy and the red head but if I was 20 years younger I would not have noticed. The action was dumb but fun! And hammy acting all round yayy!!! Personally I didn’t mind looking a Sienna Millar for 2 hours either, Id takes her over Megan Fox any day of the week. If I had young kids I wouldn’t have minded bringing them to see it, as it was just harmless cartoon fun. Really I don’t understand the anger on the talkbacks about this film, I can however understand the anger at the Transformers movies, as they were fucking terrible on every level, dickhead main character, sourpuss love interest, annoying parent characters (especially the mother die, die ,die) fatso black computer nerd “man I’m still a virgin!”*Shudder* headache inducing, incoherent action scenes, nu-metal score, inappropriate visual gags/dialogue, fucking hated those movies so much it hurts. The fact that men my age (early thirties? - damn) have the DVDs make me welcome the coming apocalypse! Sommers should have directed the Transformers movies and made them in the same tone as GI Joe and employed some non-annoying actors. Maybe id have been arsed seeing them theatrically. Till then, God bless the Internet pirates!!!
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been waiting for ya GIB...
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... that they actually PAY someone to write these.
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Watched it this week. Even my kids hated it. The effects were pitiful. How you can have special effects that look that fake in 2009, against something like District 9 that had flawless effects, is beyond me. There was a CGI polar bear that looked like something out of Jumanji.
The acting was horrendous, story was awful, it was a shitty, shitty movie. On a plus side, it made Transformers 2 look good in comparison. At least Trans2 was more or less competent in execution. -
Comingsoon.net has the scoop. They're the "Zombieland" guys who are also writing the "Deadpool" movie. I guess they're becoming hatchet men on sequels to shitty but profitable movies.
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Jan 08, 2010 8:02:53 AM CST
Gee Tallboy, tell us what you really think, don't hold back...
by billyeveryteen
You like Transfomers 2. Your opinion is poo.
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...Zartan is now President. He uses his power to free CC and Destro(or at least fasilitate an escape). He see's GI JOE as the enemy and uses his power, with the help of funds from Extensive Enterprises(Tomax and Xamot) to build his own private army(COBRA) placing CC in charge.
The Joe's fear this and soon discover the President is not who he seems.
CC leads an assault on the USS Flagg to free Baroness, who while in captivity, has come to hate her captors and really IS EVIL and more than willing to join COBRA.
Hiss Tanks, The Terrordrome is built, blue Cobra soldiers, Pit Vipers.
Then a lot of shit blows up.
C'mon Hollywood, let me write the fucking thing. -
but since the pussy studio and producer thought it was too much like a klan hood I doubt it'll be happening. The CC on AOTS is more authentic than Jason X Jr. was in the first piece of shit.
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1.Channing Tatum.Nuff fucking said!
2.Baroness/Duke/CC backdrop story3.Marlon Wayans4.Joes and Cobras wearing all black uniforms.5.Arnold Vosloo as Zartan. I mean seriously whatdefuck where they thinking?!?6.Stupid all too familiar one liners: "Life like hair and a kung fun grip" "he never gives up"7.Snake Eyes mouth8.Cobra Commander's mask or lackthereof.uninspired like the rest of the movie.9.No Roadblock, but Heavy Doody?!?...and....10.That dumb ass cheesy scene in which CC and Destro are imprisoned.Fuck Stuart Beatle and Steven Sommers! -
fuck that shitfeat
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...give a guy rubber lips if he doesn't talk?
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Jan 08, 2010 11:46:48 AM CST
YOU CAN BLAME HASBRO FOR MAKING G.I. JOE INTERNATIONAL
by bringingsexyback
They internationalized the original toys so they had no choice but to do the same with this movie. If they had made Joe American from the start, it would've been that way now.
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Both need to be publicly flogged for crimes against humanity. Its been said before - I'll say it again. BRING ON LADY JAYE.
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I'll give them (G4) that.
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I will never. ever. watch this movie or the first one. Hollywood keeps on killing my childhood one film at a time. A friend of mine showed me about ten minutes of clips from the film, he barely talked me into to watching those and yes he had the whole film, and what I saw was a film that had barely anything to do with GI JOE, cripes why didn't they just let Uwe Boll do it...
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Jan 09, 2010 1:45:12 PM CST
Who the fuck cares if people cry "Why? or "Who cares?"
by mrmysteryguest
Gimme GI JOE 2!!!!!!!!!!
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Jan 09, 2010 3:57:19 PM CST
Hopefully Snake-Eyes will cut off Wayans' head this time...
by monkey_king
for macking on his woman. Put a hood on Zartan, will ya!
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but i have read that the screenwriters of zombieland and the upcoming deadpool have been assigned to write the sequel. things might get better. until then i will continue reading the idw comic books.
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