Merrick's COBRA Rises For G.I. JOE!!

Damn, another good review?!!

Wow.. GI Joe gang bang is still going on here.

One of the best reviews I've ever read! Pop-corn movies are just THAT --> Pop-corn movies!! Yay, sounds fun!!

I'm sorry, I simply cannot believe that this movie is good. And with all the rumors of the disaster the studio believes this film is, they are probably bribing sites for good reviews.

It's only the second highest grossing movie of the YEAR. Harry Potter couldn't manage that.

I don't believe this site is fixed but I will say everyone thought this would be a POS, went to the movie and said, hey that's not the soupy pile of diarehhea I thought it would be, more a well-formed satisfying crap that you don't even have to wipe at the end. So let's not accuse anyone of reach-arounds or oral ball juggling till all the facts are in.

Is that wrong?

This movie will make a shitload of money and there will be at least two sequels coming soon to a theatre near you. The fact that every reviewer that has watched the movie has had at least a somewhat positive review means that the average mouth-breathing moviegoer will think it's Citizen Kane.

Why is it in every talkback I read there's always one person who is adamant that Transformers 2 wasn't bad? And they usually bring up the gross, the Good the Bad and the Ugly only made 19,000,000 in theaters, so do you think Transformers 2 is a superior film because it made more money?

whatt he fuck kind of roundabout logic is that?

Having popcorn.

Between all the positive Funny People reviews, the interviews with the cast and all the positive GI Joe reviews all the haters are about to explode with internet rage.

I enjoyed it! Hey, if you think GI JOE is fucking awesome, well, uh, wow. I bet you think going to the Dentist is awesome, too?

this review could be applied to transformers as well, its dumb but big and fun... the only difference is that aicn has been paid off for gi joe. no credibility here as usual... good thing i dont come here for serious reviews

I thought it was pretty uninhibited myself, right down to the negative stereotypes. If memory serves me correctly that came out the same year as The Phantom Menace and I enjoyed that a lot more. As for this, it would be great to see a big dumb action movie that doesn't bore me half way through. I never thought I'd get bored watching giant robots but it happenend.

It actually might be good..after months of butching and having sand in your vagina's over this movie the fact is that it might actually be pretty cool and you'll probabaly wind up seeing it twice

"Well the script is terrible, characters unmemorable and thin, and the CG is cartooney (ok thats just GI Joe), but it's FUN!" Fun, taken alone, is an amorphous meaningless nonsense term used by base morons who should never ever be allowed to write about film ever again if they use it as the crux of their argument. When are these jackasses going to realize that in 6 months when they realize how fucking stupid they sounded in defense of an inarguably terrible film, they will spend the next few years playing down their excitement until they have a chance to talk about the sequel as if it were the devil when really its just following the same path the first horrible film set it down?

Terminator Salvation.

we could know how much money does it cost to get a good review on aicn

GI Joe is good???!!!! Isn't this a sign of the upcoming apocalypse? Is it mentioned in the upcoming 2012?

Just wondering cause my bullshit meter broke after the first 2 reviews.

But this review listed my hopes only slightly. As it happens I'm a sucker for good hand-to-hand combat, so I'm willing to give these accelerator suits (and eventually, Ninja Assassin) a fair shot at whipping up my adrenaline. I hope you're not overstating things, because this review makes the movie sound more than tolerable.

But it's fun

I'm sure the rest are boring garbage.

how this could possibly be a good film. Using all the evidence you gather from these reviews. Merrick just basically said it's a total piece of shit but he liked it anyway because he's gone soft in his old age or whatever fucking reason. Seriously you have to be some kind of wizard of subliminal interpretation to gather anything positive from this review. I wanna know, what given the three reviews ont his site, says to you that this film will be ANY different from what we expect. I mean christ it's as if Harry, capone, and Merrick are shocked, SHOCKED, that they are using advanced weaponry int his film. Like they thought the tone was going to be that of an Edward Zwick film so anything else was just such a wonderful surprise. Not a single one of them sites anything we dont already know about the film.

They're funnnnnn!" Oh fatty McAICN, you're the FATTEST!

It's the same fucking studio. Hey it is possible that Joe is in fact fun. How many movies you went into with low expectations and left feeling totally surprised? It happens. Hollywood better hope this film does well because August is looking REAL thin when it comes to big releases. What's after Joe? Pretty much nothing until the Winter. So if it fails, this will go down as one of the most disappointing Summer's in recent memory. That's why The Final Destination is also going to rack up because there ain't going to be shit out and teens are going to rather watch 3D body parts flying than Michael Myers 2nd attempt to restore his relevancy.

I didn't hate the first Transformers. But part 2 wasn't nothing to scream about. The novelty of transforming cars on the big screen wore off quickly and there wasn't one "fun" moment in the movie even with a long ass running time. If Joe is just throwback fun, that is all I need. Because it's been scarce this Summer.

People were turning their brains off then, and they're turning them off now. Please stop giving garbage like this a free pass. Let go of your childhood detritus. Please judge the movie and not your childhood sandbox experiences.

enjoy one movie.

So int eh second film when the guy crashes his airship intot eh ground and then magically rturns an hour later to save the day int he thing that's being smug? What int he fuck kind of trip are you on? Those movies are the worst kind of neanderthal filmmaking and not for a second does it ever even pretend to be anythign else. In order to be smug it would at least have to TRY or make some sort of attempt at gravitas or well made action. It's not like Sommers is aping early John Woo shot composition while Brendan Frasier shouts his porn level one liners. Where in Gods name do you get smug and where do they dig people like this up to write for this site?

I didn't know Sylvester stallone was in G.I. Joe. Who gives a fuck about these kiddie flicks!

The opening was fantastic. The Forest Scene. The scene on the planet with Megatron and the Fallen, Megatron torturing Sam. The Fallen sucking up the pyramid. I enjoyed it.

You see how a terrible movie like Transformers makes other shitty movies seem like GOLD.

lapping it up.

Grated, that is based on 3 reviews and one of them is CHUD!

hahah.

The Dark Knight is mediocre. Think about that for more than 10 seconds and you will spontaneously combust.

Is he in it? Howabout Bulletman?

It's apparently as good as The Dark Knight according to this fucker. That can't be right.

That I can agree with completely.

when it comes to reviews. His Dark Knight review was the most begrudgingly positive film review I've ever read. He so badly wanted to dislike it that when it turned out to be a masterpiece he spent a whole review nitpicking it to death in order to justify his 8.5 score. The fact that he gave GI Joe the same score is laughable. I still like him though. The Devin's Advocate is a good read.

There is a good movie in there somewhere, but it's jsut overshadowed by long blank stares from Silk Spectre. Can she fucking act?

I really hope it was Sienna Miller or Rachel Nichols.

I've been saying it for weeks. Don't judge a movie by 30 second clips or trailers. Third positive review here in AICN, and Devin from CHUD gave it 8.5/10, and there are two more positive reviews at rottentomatoes. Haters can go suck their own cocks.

AICN was cumming all over Drag Me To Hell and Star Trek - both sucked donkey balls

If you don't come to this site for "serious" reviews, then what the hell do you come here for? Seriously, you've already made up your mind about the film, so the only explanation for you coming here and reading this review is that you enjoy being pissed off about something/anything, and you think that posting about your nerd rage makes you special. Why do you waste your time on a site that you apparently don't like? And to all you idiots making the tired remark that AICN is being paid off by the studios: come up with something new, you sound like unoriginal morons. When people talk about forums and posts on the internet being filled with stupidity and hate for the sake of hate, they're talking about 90% of the AICN talkbackers.

"Explosions are oversized and multitudinous - things don't just go boom, they go BOOOOOOOMMMMMM!" Credibility went straight out the window. Good thing I don't take this site seriously.

the guys always parachute out?

This film sucks, and the only reason AICN is shilling it is because they're getting something out of it.

The movie is obviously a piece of shit. What did they promise, to throw more banner ad sales your way?

At least the talkbackers here know what's up. I continue to come back for these guys.

Right?

that's the weakest review Massa ever wrote, and it just trails off with feigned enthusiasm. Capone meanwhile tries to convince us all that Channing Tatum and Marlon Wayans are serious thespians. Meanwhile the movie is tracking to do 20 million its first weekend. Which is NOT GOOD.

Oh, and yeah - talkbackers that are being negative just to be negative really know what's up. Sheesh. I'm actually looking forward to checking this movie out now.

"Well the script is terrible, characters unmemorable and thin, and the CG is cartooney (ok thats just GI Joe), but it's FUN!" Fun, taken alone, is an amorphous meaningless nonsense term used by base morons who should never ever be allowed to write about film ever again if they use it as the crux of their argument. When are these jackasses going to realize that in 6 months when they realize how fucking stupid they sounded in defense of an inarguably terrible film, they will spend the next few years playing down their excitement until they have a chance to talk about the sequel as if it were the devil when really its just following the same path the first horrible film set it down?"

Devin, the guy who said that Watchmen was "our godfather"? who wrote a 4 star review of Terminator 4 for a print magazine then the next few days wrote a giant thing on why it was an awful movie?

THAT MUST MEAN THIS FUCKER IS A CLASSIC!

Did you seriously just say that the internet REVIEWERS have a hive mind!? Seriously? What about the nerd commenters (ie Talkbackers). Talk about making up your mind way too early - 99% of the people here haven't seen the movie but have already decided they're going to hate it. Hypocrisy much? And do you really think the reviewers are upset that TF2 did well despite their scathing reviews? Everyone knew that it was going to be a big hit at the box office. The reviewers knew that, and are secretly glad it did well so they can maintain their credibility as not liking mainstream "Big Dumb Hollywood Blockbusters". It's a win-win for everyone: studios get there money, the nerds get to shit on something and feel superior to the unwashed masses, everyone else gets 2 hours of explosions and don't have to spend there lives reading 3,000 comic books to "truly" appreciate it.

getting to see it before it's released... explain that. every critic in the NW of the US reports that Paramount won't screen the film for them.

the quality of the bootleg.

PUT ON YOUR TINFOIL HATS BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

PUT ON YOUR TINFOIL HATS BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!

Waste of valuabe resources. I'll catch GI Joe on Starz.

To think this movie will make just 20 mil opening weekend is hilarious. Don't tweak facts to fabricate a story. The movie has brand awareness. Awareness among men. And it's the last action game in town. If both Fantastic Four films can open at 50+, don't expect GI Joe to miss that benchmark. It will hit it and exceed it. From Nikki Finke: "It's come on tracking really strong. It's looking to open at $50M-$60M -- which is a great result."

WE'RE ALL FUCKED NOW! HEAD FOR THE HILLS!

whereas Wolverine gets reamed b/c Harry didn't get to go to a free press screening. I can't imagine Gi Joe is any better than Wolverine. Oh yeah, and the explosions in Wolverine also went "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!"

It's the same AICN spin only this time the angle is... yes, it is dumb, but it's good dumb.

This is about as transparent as Obama's lies about having never increased taxes.

Eh, no one else did either.

if everyone at AICN jacks off over it. I have no interest in seeing this piece of shit.

After reading the actual history of Dillinger, Floyd etc...I was really pissed off about how much Michael Mann fucked with the historical truth. Everyone made a big deal about the painstaking process of making the film look historically accurate. but they fail to mention all the liberties Mann took with the actual events.

Fun is not a catalyst for a good time, OTHER things are a catalyst for fun. You see "fun" IS a good time, they are one in the sameyou see? Therefore things must happen to create them. Fun isn't the thing that comes first. Other things occur and that coalesces into fun.

If you are going to cry fun then you better have a damn good explanation, a shite sight better than "The explosions are great in a sandbox pretend sorta way", because that does not for a second differentiate it from Transformers 2 (a movie I abhor just like I did the first btw). WHy is awful everything but special effects terrible in other movies but somehow great int his one. Is it a matter of tone? Pacing? Characterization (which Merrick says it absolutely is not so perish the thought)? I mean can you imagine if a mainstream reviewer wrote something this vague about a major film? Richard Corliss' TIME review of harry Potter 5 :"I thought it was boring. It just was. It just wasn't exciting like that other fantasy film that came out. I dunno, something about it was just.....I just thought it was boring." He'd be fired. And that is basically what all three reviews on this site for GI Joe have been.

Moreover, at the same time they are desperately trying to convince us that we've all been dead wrong about this movie, they describe a film that is EXACTLY what we were all expecting. "Man we thought it was gonna suck but it doesn't! I mean holy shit they have weapons! How can you argue with power suits. I'm gonna repeat that, POWER SUIT!!! Now don't expect great characterization or ANY good dialogue but DONT WORRY because Channing Tatum is the guy delivering that dialogue! So as you can clearly see you've all misjudged. And Sommers directing here? Yeah we all fucking hate everything else the guy has done and here he doesn't do anything different at all but somehow his directing is TOTALLY DIFFERENT in a capacity that is somehow awesome in a totally vague unexplainable way! Don't base any opinion on a trailer or any pedigree that the terrible director might have because as you can see from all these things I've listed it's clearly a much different film than anything you, the viewer who has been watching these kinds of films their ENTIRE LIFE, could have possibly fathomed. As for a comparison to the source material or how it handles beloved pop culture icon characters like Snake Eyes or Cobra Commander, aka the reason why any of us remember this property? Ummm, what?" It's gotten to the point of ridiculousness with these summer tentpole films.

That's my problem with Mann. He's just too slick. He's slicker than Bey.

The shoot-out at the Bohemian...one of the most badass shootouts ever put on film. Having said, that, I'll be seeing GI*Joe opening day.

Fuck you. The second one-not so much, overkill, and III, well-that was a Belated entry and by Rob Cohen(!?)-but it was *meh* too. I sorta liked it, but it's not my fave either.

Big Robots Hitting Each Other Once Again was a fun, idiotic plotless CGI mass of CGI Whirling metallic Boom. That's it. I had fun. It's also gonna make 400M here in the States alone. Fuck you.

Everyone decides that this is crap already, but gets all excited over a movie about World of Warcraft (please, no), by a director who made Drag Me to Hell as a thinly-veiled apology for the hideous Spider Man movies. This site is totally FUCKED!!

This is why my hard-earned 12 bucks is going to a well-made, well-characterized District 9. No offense to the reviewer but it sounds like he's actually making excuses why the movie doesn't completely suck. The question is, who're you trying to convince? I know better to download such fare than to pay for it.

That's what this is. They didn't have to do it with TF2 because it was a sequel to a highly successful movie. This on the other hand is the first of 3 planned movies. If it makes bank, no damage control will be necessary for the sequels.

Right on the money. Fun! What a concept. I hope Devin Faraci and the collective staff of AICN wake up with fun hangovers in six months time and admit that they gave utter crap a pass. An apology for tricking some of their more gullible readers into paying for tickets to this might also be in order.

It's re watchable. I even liked Part 2. 3 was just terrible.

You'll never be alone on a Saturday nite again. It's a win/win.

You hateful pretentious all knowing fucks are still here .On a site that you supposedly hate with reviewers/writers that you supposedly distrust at pretty much every turn. Fucking hypocrites

AICN. Chud. Latino Review. JoBlo. SciFi Wire. IESB. Screendaily.

All positive reviews. Paramount must be buying everybody off.

Or...

It's actually good. Can all your preconceived notions of the film be wrong? Heaven forbid.

Is he in this? not one fucking review has said so.

Everyone here knows, that for the most part, the reviews here are as good as submitted for studio approval before posted.

If AICN ever found a way to monetize the talkbacks, which are the site's real value, Harry can retire to a Caribbean island.

I just wrote a fun script. It has lots of BOOOOOMMMSSSS! Should be a fun summer popcorn movie hit. I have lots of booooommmsss. And lots of army men running around with guns and planes. And lots of booooommmssss. And swords and lots of booooommms. Not regular booms, but booooooooommmms. You like, eat the popcorn.

Vern has made this argument over and over. "Fun" doesn't have to be mindless. "It's not exactly Shakespeare" is not a valid excuse. It wasn't so long ago that "summer fun" meant films like Aliens, Jaws, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Die Hard, Terminator 2, Star Wars... (before anyone gets on my case I haven't checked to make sure that all these films literally came out in the summer. You get the point.)

More boooooooooommmss. I am movie goer dat likes da popcorn and da boooooommmmmmsss..

It's that all the positive reviews amount to "it was fun but I have no idea why and no compelling argument to support my opinion. If you replaced a few nouns in this review it could be applied verbatim to Transformers 2, which I hated."

how much did Paramount pay you for this here "endorsement"?

I think I'd rather believe that than believe that there are this many idiots in the world. We live in a world where everything (including fact) is reduced to taste and opinion and so everyone is "free" to have one and that everyone's is as worthy and valid as the next guys. In principle that's a fine thing, but in practice, people are too irresponsible, ignorant and unwise. It's like the right to bear arms... fine in principle but if you start passing out free revolvers at the mall nobody would want to leave their homes anymore because there are too many ignorant, unwise and irresponsible people out there living in a state of 'me.'

reviews? If that was an 80's film Austin would have a film festival devoted to it.

Maybe people still visit the site because they can bitch and moan about any movie they want pretty much uncensored in the Talkback, huh? Oh, and another thing. Just in case you're not doing it already, go fuck yourself.

I still cant get over that ridiculous scene where he walks - no strolls leisurely - through the dillinger squad room or whatever it was in the police headquarters, just admiring his photos and hanging around and no one notices him. I mean, what the fuck? Anyway, I will see G I Joe and if it reminds me of my childhood days (It wasnt a sandbox but a garage, set up with the aircraft carrier and everything) that will be good enough for me.

Who if I could ban that site from reviewing films I would ina second because it doesn't get any more lowbrow or apologist. That El Mayimbe calls himself a GI Joe fan while writing that pathetic review makes me wants to kick the shit out of him. Out of all the sites you listed why don't you show me a review that makes the least bit of sense given what we all know to be true about this movie. Go ahead I dare you. I don't think any of these sites were bought off, but there is a reason why paramount chose to screen the film for gullible internet bloggers.

Yes you can you can do that and I can call you out on being just a general cocksucker :)

But then I remebered that Snake Eyes has lips on his mask even though HE CAN'T FUCKING TALK.

Don't care what anyone else thinks.

...where that thing blew up,it was awesome!

but since I got a big paycheck this time - Merrick

But I don't make a movie about it.

The shills have succumbed finally to rampant product placements and admittedly dodging getting real jobs!

Here's how the production meeting went down:

Harry-the ad revenue is down to threating to pull their contracts. My wife Yoko Ono has asked me to get a real job...

I need you boys to start lying and making up stupid shit and start plugging these major studio releases who are giving us free passes to really gritty PG-13 movies who treat 14 year olds like they are adults.

Whoever's left reviewing on this site: "You mean Harry, the only knowledge we have gleaned from an entire million dollar convention event is that Judd Apatow has directed the great American movie for the 21st century and that mindless explosions, juvenile plots are now cool?!?

Harry: They are if you want to get press passes for next year.

One reviewer left on the site: Should I do a review of all the schwag you spent all of the hard-earned ad revenue dollars we earned by writing formerly semi-not-canted reviews for this site?.

Harry: You will if you know what's good for you.

Your personal barometer for what makes a "good" film does not necessarily map to the rest of humanity. Mindless entertainment is OK, despite what your self-professed superior sensibilities tell you.

Never mind the fact that this is G.I. Joe we are talking about- a property that is hardly the spawn of thought-provoking and socially relevant subject matter. If ever there a movie in which it is OK if there is BOOM and little else, this would be it.

to see until year end when Sherlock and AVATAR will fuck your eyeballs.

THAT WILL BE FUCKING YOUR EYEBALLS!!

Clearly you're basing that post solely on the dreadful cartoon. Ever check the Larry Hama stuff?

You do know who Larry Hama is, yes? Please resist the temptation to Google before replying.

Or, perhaps you generally paint your contempt with the broad brush for certain media forms?

It better retain those things that made that "silly cartoon" memorable two decades after the fact. Now youa re god damn right I want things to go boom in my GI Joe film. But I also want a solid representation of the characters (especially Cobra Commander, who is NOT Dr. fucking Mindbender) and the aesthetic. Two things we know are not accurately recreated. And would it be too much to ask for a lead actor who is actually believeable leading someone into battle. If you think that all GI Joe is memorable for is explosions then you should have no trouble pitching that M.A.S.K. film to all the studios. There's more to it than you think, hoss.

Fuck it. I'm in no mood for playing coy and nice.

You and others of your ilk are the problem with Holowood adaptations. You are incapable of believing a movie adaptation possible of rising above its source material, despite of your glittering ignorance of said source material. You provide fuel for the masses and encourage the continuation of stupidity in Holowood adaptations depending on the medium of the source material. You think you are elite, but you are the exact opposite by way of forgiving and eventual promotion of absolute drek. And if you bothered to familiarize yourself with the source material for all of 30 minutes -- a fraction of the movie length -- you might, just might, allow yourself a difference of opinion. But you are likely the type that wouldn't even if you did. Despite that, you sleep with your conscience.

...for G.I. Joe is obvious. What recent movie can they compare it to? Clearly, Transformers 2. And then, the moment that comparison is made, G.I. Joe begins to seem like a gift from the gods.

I know who Larry Hama is. Ask yourself this: Is there anyone OUTSIDE of comic book fandom who would recognize that name as the writer of the comics (and possibly the fact file cardback)?

So, would it be safe to say that at least 80 percent of the people that are going to see this will remember G.I. Joe solely on the toys and cartoon?

Rest my case.

Speaking of source material.... Really has anyone of the haters tried watching/reading any of the source material yet since the flick was announced!?!?! Shit if the movie has a plot that is barely coherent it would be a step up.

Explain to me how if the movie had the characterization of the comics that it somehow would have been detrimental to the movie and the average audience members enjoyment of the film. It's the same story and characters, just with richness that actually makes you care. EVERYONE wins when the movie is well written. The average Joe sees a better film and, more importantly, the fans go home happy. You don't shoot for the lowest common denominator and anyone who justifies that has to question how much they love movies.

You think I'M the one acting elite here? Really? Funny considering that you are blaming me for the "the continuation of stupidity in Holowood" of Hollywood. Rather contradictory, no?

I assure you, I do not have that power.

Lets analyze this a little bit: There were stupid movies in Hollywood before the advent of CG effects, comic book adaptations, Shia LaBouff(sp?), and long before you were a glimmer in your mother's eyes. Why do you seem to foster some belief that this is a modern morality issue? We are dealing with something that is action movie fodder- AT BEST. There is nothing grand, profound, or otherwise meaningful about G.I. Joe other than nostalgia.

"...you are likely the type that wouldn't even if you did. Despite that, you sleep with your conscience." HOW I SLEEP WITH MY CONSCIENCE?!?

What. The. Fuck. are you on, dude? I personally worry a lot more about how I treat my fellow man than I do whether or not the FUCKING G.I.JOE MOVIE WILL APPEAL TO SOMEONE OVER THE AGE OF 12!

Good lord, I don't loose any sleep over it, but it sure as hell looks like you do.

My point exactly, brother.

The buzz for me CHILDHOOD NOSTALGIA!!! I had a shit pile of Joe toys as a kid. If I'm taken back to when I was 8 years old with my stock pile of action figures and vehicles, than I will have my money's worth!!!

Props... Now I gotta read some of the previous posts in this TB

You wrote:

"Mindless entertainment is OK, despite what your self-professed superior sensibilities tell you. Never mind the fact that this is G.I. Joe we are talking about- a property that is hardly the spawn of thought-provoking and socially relevant subject matter. If ever there a movie in which it is OK if there is BOOM and little else, this would be it.

Please attempt to square the circle you created. How am I to gleen that you have any respect for Larry Hama's work?

Fuck what 80% of folks recognize. Is it respectful of the source material and is it any good? Appearances from your TB posts suggest that you are quick to grant significant leeway to the film and denounce the opinions of others that disagree with you.

The point is not that the source material sucks. The same stupid argument rages on in every talkback for anything we ever held dear to our hearts as younger geeks. When it comes to source material, well, GI JOE ain't exactly Watchmen. But there is a pervasive attitude, and it is a recent attitude for sure, that it is OK to make a movie that is so asinine that it actually kills brain cells, if the movie is FUN. Hey guys, we spent enough money on this film to end world hunger, and when your FUN HANGOVER has worn off and you've sold your DVD copy to a pawn shop we will melt the plastic down and use it to make helmets for retards. Is it too much to ask for a little bit of goddamn STORY DEVELOPMENT? Ask Pixar what their take on fun is, maybe? GI JOE holds absolutely no childhood nostalgia for me, aside from those PSA commercials, but I am still annoyed that so many internet critics are giving this steaming pile a pass. Wake up guys, it won't be that fun once your sugar high has worn off and you realize is is a Stephen Sommers movie that goes BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

"I assure you, I do not have that power."

Remember the rather clever line, "A person can be very smart, but people can be dumb?" You give your voice to others that continue the downward spiral that results in more Transformers 2 and less Children Of Men.

"You think I'M the one acting elite here? Really?"

At least I grant you benefit of doubt that you do not realize what you are doing.

"We are dealing with something that is action movie fodder- AT BEST"

What you do not realize is that it doesn't have to be, DESPITE whatever the source material happens to be, given your stated inclination.

"There is nothing grand, profound, or otherwise meaningful about G.I. Joe other than nostalgia."

Why? Because you deemed it so? Whhat gives you the right? I'm the elitist, yes?

"HOW I SLEEP WITH MY CONSCIENCE?!"

Hey, brainiac -- you aren't sleeping yet when you go to sleep with your conscience. Hence, it's that little eBook that's playing in your head BEFORE you go to sleep.

"I personally worry a lot more about how I treat my fellow man"

Oh, cue the whole "There's more important shit going on in the world," bullshit.

"Good lord, I don't loose any sleep over it, but it sure as hell looks like you do. "

Then why are you still here, replying to me, and undoubtedly reading this?

"Please attempt to square the circle you created. How am I to gleen that you have any respect for Larry Hama's work?"

Much of Larry Hama's work (which contains such kid-friendly themes as schizophrenia[Zartan], Stockholm Syndrome[Baroness], murder, and the like) is largely inappropriate for a movie that will be viewed by the PG-13 market.

This movie is based on the cartoon, not the Hama work and I would not feel comfortable taking my kids to an R rated G.I. Joe movie- a rating they would surely achieve should they be "respectful of the source material" which you seem to believe only covers the comics.

Those scenes before each mission where the members where called out of their regular lives to fight V.E.N.O.M. and you got a glimpse of what the characters were doing before running off to fight... That was superior character development than Joe...

"Speaking of source material.... Really has anyone of the haters tried watching/reading any of the source material yet since the flick was announced!?!?! Shit if the movie has a plot that is barely coherent it would be a step up."

Wait, did he write 'read'?

"...has anyone of the haters tried watching/reading any of the source material..."

HOLY SHIT!!

Yeah, the comic had ups and down just like ANY other comic. Not everything can be gold. But the comic was a quantum leap ahead in quality, not unlike the Transformers title. I can't be and refuse to think I am alone on this.

I guess I don't have to wait for PLaykins's denouncement of Larry Hama's work after all.

for the Snake Eyes/Storm Shadow fight to be posted on YouTube. That is all I want to see.

I'mm not even going to dignify that ramble with a response, but I can't help but comment on this: "You give your voice to others that continue the downward spiral that results in more Transformers 2 and less Children Of Men."

Transformers was a- follow me here- PG-13 movie based on toys intended to appeal to kids AND fans of the original. "Children of Men" was a hard "R". You CAN'T EVEN COMPARE THE TWO.

You're the one that brought up some sort of bizarre global conscience regarding entertainment, so don't chastise me for saying I worry about things a little more important.

You're a troll, and you're looking for someone to argue. I refuse to be your forum bitch. Good day.

WHERE am I defaming Larry Ham,a's work? FUCK YOU.

Now I really am done, you psychotic, illiterate moron.

"largely inappropriate for a movie that will be viewed by the PG-13 market"

The same market that (rightfully) took umbrage with dumbfounded parents that took their underage children to Transformers 2 only to be met with a petrie dish of sophomoric bigotry and misogyny?

The same rating level that gave us the cerebral greatness of Dark Knight?

"This movie is based on the cartoon, not the Hama work"

Your defense, not mine. It'd be the other way around if wishes could come true.

"I would not feel comfortable taking my kids to an R rated G.I. Joe movie"

The Hama comics were not R-rated and neither would his adaptation need to be.

"respectful of the source material which you seem to believe only covers the comics."

Okay, You got me on this one because I admit to not being clear initially. Yes, being respectful to the cartoon source material is technically being respectful to the source material. But only technically so. Are you willing to admit that? Are you willing to admit that the comic source material blows away the cartoon source material? And regardless of whether or not you would take your kids to see it, wouldn't you have preferred the comic source material adapted rather than the cartoon source material?

Playkins, "WHERE am I defaming Larry Ham,a's work? FUCK YOU."

DarthSaul666, "Really has anyone of the haters tried watching/reading any of the source material yet since the flick was announced!?!?! Shit if the movie has a plot that is barely coherent it would be a step up.

Playkins, "DarthSaul666: Thank you. My point exactly, brother."

Or, more simply and succinctly, fuck you too, asshole.

Your friend! I_F

The cartoon had a distinct aesthetic in which characters had very specific looks to match their skill set and great characters which while not deep had wonderfully flamboyant personalities. The film does not even seem to carry that. Ergo it's a bland reinvention paying only lip service to the source material on which it's based.

Any the commonality of the "stick man" metaphor being used wrong by tb's!!!! FACE IT HATERS....SOME OF US ARE LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS FLICK Why? Because it's a bit of escapism that is different from the Dark Knight!!! If I want the realism, characterization, and theme, of Band of Brothers in a Joe movie, I'd watch Band of Brothers again.

I can at least respect where Playkins is coming from enough to engage in a dialogue. You and your "What did you want?! BAND OF BROTHERS!!!?? BLARGH!" arguments can kindly take a long walk off a short pier along with your fragile understanding of the source material.

I own Larry Hamma's debut at Marvel comics. Marvel Premiere #16. Sure he's a good writer... But some folks want to talk about GI Joe like it's Neil Gaiman's Sandman...... OHH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!

Fragile understanding of a fucking toy commercial.... No that's just fucking insulting!!!!!

They did a featurette with him talking and the filmmakers gabbing about how great he is, so you tell me.

Even my kid thought it sucked. We saw it in IMAX and it still fucking sucked. Yes it had some good action scenes but it was too long and the JarJar twins' nasty mouths weren't appreciated by either of us. The leg humping jokes were stupid and the plot (lol) was awful. Great FX shitty movie. Very much like the Star Wars prequels. I was dreading GIJOE especially knowing the director and seeing the first trailer but now I might just give it a chance.

Is he going to projectile sperm all over the audience when he sees District 9?

making mountains out of mole hills boring!!!!!!

Now that is a "stick man" argument

G.I.Joe didn't have Bob "I've never had a coherent though" Orci scripting it.

Give 'em the stick-DON'T give 'em the stick! Body Massage!

Cause that was awful.

I was beginning to wonder what they paid him for. But I can see this movie being fun, if you're in the right state of mind (e.g., stoned).

I'm a Computer

Is a given for me and my crew... Will be on Aug. 7th.... Makes the *SPLOSIONS* really pop!!

Is everyone here under 20?

Or do TB's trade in assumptions more than a hi end hoes invest in breast augmentation?

Lockes... I'm flattered you think I'm under 20

Maybe around 18 years ago

It’s because Paramount has paid them off to spread word of mouth to sucker geeks into seeing this piece of shit while refusing to screen it for critics so that the general population doesn’t catch wind about how fucking awful it is. Paramount’s putting all it’s hopes on the opening weekend which is why they would bother to pay off AICN, CHUD and Latino Review. How much do you really think it would cost a studio to by off these people? Just throw them some freebies, promise them future exclusives or pwesants and for a few thousand bucks they’re getting good PR that would cost them millions in advertising. They’re trying to play us for suckers.

BIG LOB is going for the pwn....

I gotta say it once....Show me the proof!!!!

hehe....I get it.

"We Like The Films!
The Films That Go Boom!
We're Tigra and Bunny
And We Like The BOOM!"

When it isn’t even being screened for critics and yet reviewers from AICN, CHUD and Latino Review have somehow managed to see the movie almost two weeks before its release. Don’t you think that’s strange? Don’t you also find it suspicious that over the last few months on these sites, especially AICN, that Harry and Co. don’t get their reviews out until a day or two before the release of the big budget summer flicks when we know that they’ve seen them well in advance. It’s because they actually agree to embargos that the studio’s ask for in exchange for preferential treatment, plain and simple. Then there is also the fact that this is the first in what Paramount hopes will be a franchise so it’s in their best interest to buy off the opinions of anyone in the geek community that could spread word of mouth that this movie is shit. You really think that Knowles wouldn’t whore himself out for a free screening of a major movie two weeks before it’s release? The guys a fucking pig who would eat a steaming lump of shit if you put whip cream on it.

Because everyone fucking hated Transformers. Why would they do that?

I'm never seeing another movie again because they will all suck. I will however bitch and moan about each and every movie that comes out and why it sucks and I'll never back it up by actually seeing it. This movie sucks. The next movie sucks. All movies suck. By taking this stance I have elevated myself in my own mind as the greatest authority on movies ever. Yay I have achieved Ultimate Talkbacker status! My hate is greater than yours!

Paramount didn’t need to pay off anyone with that movie because the first one had made over 700 million at the box office, not even including DVD’s and merchandising, well over a billion dollars when all is said and done. The franchise had been established so even if the next movie only made half of that it would still be insanely profitable. Do you not remember when the first flick came out and all those good reviews that told people to “just shut your brain off and enjoy it because, hey, its not Shakespeare, it’s GIANT FUCKING ROBOTS!!!”?

Except for Knowles of course and that’s because he didn’t get his ass kissed by Bay and then there is the fact that Don Murphy is connected to these movies (that is, his mouth is connected to Bay’s cock) which also soured Harry on part one when it was no worse or better then Godzilla, Armageddon or any other mindless trash that he’s slobbered over in the past. It’s best to think of Knowles as a greedy child who acts nice when he gets his own way but throws a tantrum when Mommy won’t buy him an ice cream cone.

If G.I. Joe does well then I guarantee that when they make part 2, every site that is creaming over this garbage will be lining up to trash it, not just because it will be as bad as the first one, but because Paramount won’t give a shit about their opinions and won’t bother paying anyone off just like they did with Transformers 2.

was awesome....sue me. it was a great movie...movie buffs cry because they couldnt connect...fanboys pull their panties out of their vaginas because it didnt satisfy their childhood longings for optimus to talk at their geek school graduation...bottom line, it had a plot, it was easy to follow...action was easy to follow, i knew who everyone was ...i dont have the problems lots of u haters have...see i pay attention...anyways i love how "guests" to this site like to criticize the moderators....someday theyll shut this place down and all u keyboard commandos that love seeing your own words on screen over and over and over spewing negative shit will have to find other things to take up your time..... like maybe finding a job, or better yet, find your penis and play with it , cuz god knows there are lots of people on these boards that seriously need to release some pressure...uptight motherfuckers, i tell ya....... gi-joe is gonnna rock

YOU.

It was better than fucking Serenity.

It's still not gonna stop me from laughing my ass off if I see a flying motorcyle.

cuz THAT was GI JOE.

of all the Star Wars films. Put that in your Transformers 2 box office and smoke it.

marvel had depth.

so a generic..nothing?

those accelerator suits. The Joes of my youth wouldn't need them.

makes. But, I also don't give a shit about what rating it gets on Rotten Tomatoes. ROTS has an 80 percent rating on RT,

1. Star Trek (and I just barely saw it today for $3.25) and Orphan tied, 2. Public Enemies 3. Terminator Salvation. I was pleasantly surprised that I would like Star Trek, I always liked the Next Generation best, and im actually looking forward to GI Joe unlike jigaboobots I mean tf2. Hopefully JGL's Cobra Commander is good, I haven't heard too many people comment positively or negatively. Its nice to see him be so acclaimed as an actor, the only Reason I liked him when he was younger cuz he had cool long hair.

Look at the trailers. The very first trailer made me think: "see this film opening day." Unlike Transformers, which tells us its supposed to be 'fun' and popcorn, GI Joe actually seems to be that way without insulting me as a human being. The visuals in the trailer (the two guys running from the exploding cars and rockets) was just mint. I'm surprised at the deliberate hate for GI Joe. Look at the trailers - at least they held the camera steady while cool shit happened, unlike Transformers which still does the shaky-cam bullshit. I will see this film in theater, but perhaps on a Tuesday where I don't have to pay full price.

ones for Trek and Transformers. Hell even fucking UP had a better trailer. Didn't all you people love the first Transformers?

insults you.

are eating chicken, talking jive, and say they don't read, then yeah... I'd find that insulting. Not in a major "I must fight the producer of this film" way, but more of a "this producer/writer isn't gonna get my money" kinda way. Does that make sense? The GI Joe trailer was somewhat generic. I'm not expecting much more out of the film. My point is that I liked the visuals in the JOE trailer much more than in Trek & Transformers.

GTFO! Mask was if anything, a blatant ripoff of GIJoe (Oh and Tracker's antagonist is VENOM.Sound familiar?)but with shittier dialog and stupid ass puns.but what do you expect from an animation company that produces kiddy crap like Inspector Gadget or Heathcliff?

Nuff fuckin' said!

Wearing their original costumes is a HORRIBLE idea...they'd look like some fucking insane version of the village people for crying out loud.

or not; I've no doubt that a mindless action movie can be fun or amusing, or is capable of generating huge box office. What I care to know is, how good of an adaptation of G.I. Joe: ARAH is it? Will hardcore fans be pleased with it? And please spare me that all that matters is that the general audience who couldn't care less about the property are satisfied. If that were the case, then there was no need to slap a veneer of the ARAH name, characters, and memorable plot lines (such as the Arishikage storyline) onto this generic power suit movie.

Maybe it's just a good movie. And Sienna is very fuckable.

it off a long time ago,

The only GI Joe I ever had was 12 inches tall and was dressed like a soldier from WWII. Although I do remember making him pretend to screw my sister's Barbies.

or what one recalls from the original toys" - Dark Horizons.

You enjoyed one of the worst movies ever made?

Was a fun movie and Hugh Jackman played his part with gusto. Shuler Hensley displayed an ample sensitivity as the Creature. Plus, if you are at all familiar with the Trevor Nunn production of "Oklahoma!", it is real kick to see Hensley, who played Judd, reunited with Jackman, who played Curly. And then there's the matter of Ms. Beckinsale's decollage...

I'm loving it. America has wised up to the studio's dirty tactics. Look at how Paramount is flashing AICN's positive reviews everywhere. Couldn't it be more obvious. I'm staying away, I'm broke anyways.

Merrick sucks.

I am stoned out of my mind right now. And this review strikes me as pure bullshit. You mean to tell me that Marlon Wayans in a ridiculous "accelerator" suit helps bring back memories of your childhood? Fuck off. They gave Snake Eyes a mouth in this movie. Fuck GI JOE.

Why does Snake Eyes need a mouth slot if he's supposed to be a mute? I mean really who's he talking to? I mean I know it's nit picky but I'm just asking.

...when it was done with puppets and called TEAM AMERICA: WORLD POLICE. I'm sure it's more than that but Damon Wayans kills it for me. There's just nothing about G.I.JOE that screams to me SEE ME ON THE BIG SCREEN NOW!! DISTRICT 9 is doing that exactly. Like I've said before, I'll catch G.I.JOE next year on cable, when I'm sick...

I meant Marlon Wayans.

mouth is that they stupidly referenced the 12" dolls of SE from 2003 and 2004 seen here:

http://tinyurl.com/msh5lo

http://tinyurl.com/la4693

I always thought the visor was the bigger mistake; his code name ends in "Eyes," not "Eye." The second version of the original figure was probably due to looking at the early issues of the comic, in which the pencillers weren't consistent. One changed his goggles to a long visor shaped lens.

Be interesting to see if the 100 percent positive coverage continues.

and perhaps help with the editing of the TRANSFORMERS:ROTF DVD to make it a better film. Honestly, TRANSFORMERS 2 would have been a way better filmgoing/watching experience had the pacing slowed a bit more here and there and, Yes Megan Fox was right about her assessment of the film and Michael Bay should remove his head from his ass before it's too late. A BAD BOYS 3, with Bay's current work ethic would probably suffer more than own at the box office and with critics. I say either Bay should take a page from Sommers book or get Sommers on board for TRANSFORMERS 3.

is the one with the red visors and face shield. I still have the 12' figure of that design.

and not the litterbox. I may give this a look next weekend.

Or maybe at least allude to it in a G.I. Joe sequel--didja know that Hasbro released a G.I. Joe Matt Trakker figure in an outfit similar to his old Thunderhawk duds (Hasbro bought out Kenner, the people who made M.A.S.K. way back when)?

Did the spot-on adaptation of Master Of The Universe make it a fantastic, thought-provoking film?

I don't know if I will agree, but this is how you connect a childhood memory with a movie like this. Unlike Harry's "I decided to rewatch the first two season of the cartoon show, read the entire comic book series twice and listen to the "Music of Joe" tapes I made from the GI Joe: The Movie from 1987." Soon after Harry's bullshit summer reading list he equates his enjoyment or disappointment with taking a shit, eating, having sex or all three. Nice to the point review. I will now look forward to this movie, but still not expecting much.

na.\\

Will this be re-named 'Action Force' in the UK?

they will never mention the movie, thats how losers admit defeat, not talking about it.

Most underrated movie ever made -- a classic cable favorite...

And ANY movie is going to seem better than these goofy trailers. If it's actually coherent for five minutes at a time it will seem better than Transformers 2, Terminator Salvation or Wolverine. I want to hear more feedback from talkbackers. I think this film is going to surprise a few of you.

is the FRIGGIN' rolling "TUMBLEWEED" transformations and fighting. You can't tell one robot from the other without a damn program. I want to see the vehicle stand up and tranform, not roll into spiky undistiguishable mess.

are the sexiest creatures on God's Earth!!!

accelerator suits back in the day!!

The fucking thing didn't even take place on Eternia. No obviously it was a terrible adaptation. Although Frank Langella's Skeletor has a certain charm and some of the monster design is cool like Beast Man and that Lizard dude.

Not getting the praising reviews. Essentially, they say everything is over the top and the acting/dialogue is bad, but they praise it? And what was the issue with TF2 again?

Now that was a fucking awesome cartoon if I ever saw one. Get on it Paramount!

....baked as fuck off of some dank ass dro.

only a moron cant tell the robots apart, so i guess u just outed yourself...and to call it incoherent is to call yourself unintelligent, and unfocused. prob the reason most of u haters dont have girlfriends, cant pay attention long enuf to what a date is sayin before u ask if shes gonna blow u.... that carries into all areas of life, its called retardedness.

I wonder if at some point in the movie there will be burger joints with giant red nuclear missiles attached to the top of them. Now that would be genius.

hey merrick all i really wanna know is how much snake eyes is in it and if ray park gets enough fighting time on screen

Because the way he spins imagery on this talkback makes it seem like he is. Tell us more about "haters" "U" and "enuff"! Insult more talkbackers about not having girlfriends or jobs, when you yourself... are on a talkback. You're magical.

TF2 is NOT one of the worst movies ever made. I know it is according to this site, but this site loves shit like The Mist.

And slkboxrman, explain why TF2 is a good film, in 500 words or less.

At least partially. It is not ONE of the worst movies ever made. It is THE worst movie ever made, considering the budget and resources Bay had at his disposal to make it. He made the biggest pile of shit hundreds of millions of dollars can buy. At least until his next movie gets released.

...just wouldn't work unless they could somehow eliminate inertia. Otherwise, whenever anyone fell a great distance (this includes YOU, Tony Stark!), even if the suit survived, when it was opened, the occupant would probably just pour out (ick!). But, that's what "willing suspension of disbelief" is for, I guess.

How about "retardedosity"?

You slam a movie for being too long and full of action, but you ALSO slam movies for having little action and no character. WTF?

enjoys shit like The Mist and Blade Runner.

...that little blonde Dracula Bride... Haysoos Marimba!

Did this piece of shit honestly make you have deep reflections about your childhood play things? lol..Jesus Merrick, put on Schindler's list and lighten up. You must have cried your fucking eyes out at Toy Story

Didn't like them. Your argument is invalid. Too bad.

It's GI Fucking Joe. It's not another weeper starring Meryl Strep.

centurions was about three guy men who lived together and fought crime.

if it were made, it'd be andy samberg, dave foley and seth rogen in armour, and moustaches.

but if i am not mistaken,this has been solved in the latest volume of the IM comics.

Its supposed that starks armor generates an internal repulsion-based field which protect the operators body from most of the external forces applied on the armor.

if the field stops,then the operator will receive whatever damage his armor is going through.

POWEEEER EXTREEEEME

This guy rules. It's like he loves everything that sucks, and hates everything that's good. And he's sincere, and not some over the top ironic joke. He will argue that "Transformers" is better than "Blade Runner", and mean it. He makes derogatory posts in almost every talkback about every subject. He hates "Futurama", but loves "Transformers". Hates Pixar. Loves "Transformers". He fucking rules.

movie hits it huge

the haters here,well,they already hate the film?

ok,from what i remember when TF1 was in production,there were a lot of causes to make the fans angry: the flames,the mouth,the really terrible designs,etc etc

but i dont get what causes the current GIJOE hate?

ok bad script,actors,director etc is a granted thing for all these adaptations.

but besides the above,what else justifies so much premature hate?

personally i dont have any problem with the actors or the nano-suits.the fact that Cobra commander doesnt use his iconic mask/helmet bugs me,but thats the modern,political correct Holywood we are talking about.

so what else is wrong with this movie? by the fans point?

Just to justify it being good. Fuck that.

Watch that shit on Youtube. Fucking owns GI JOE. Now that's a cartoon I'd love to see a live action version of. I hope Michael Bay dies of AIDS before Paramount or any other studio greenlights it.

20 out of 21 nights I'd rather fall asleep watching Transformers on HBO than Blade Runner. Futurama is one of many dumb rip-offs of Southpark and Pixar is for 5 year-olds... oh and SG: Universe will rule all ;) JMO! Definitely seeing GI Joe on Imax next week - yay, slow-mo action... TF 2 gave me major headaches!

There's not another big movie on IMAX until AVATAR.

Instead of the Gay 80's crap. I'll probably go see it on opening night so I can decide if I'll take my 5 year old son to see it but that's about it. When I was in Junior/Senior High School time frame, the Cartoon first came out. I thought it would be cool and watched it(parts of it) for a few months waiting to see GI Joe. It wasn't until I actually saw the opening that I found out GI Joe didn't exist. They were a bunch of "Rainbow" warriors...

Is that when all ole grey matter kicks in and you get tired of all the boooooooooooooooms! How exactly is "Futurama" a ripoff of "South Park"? Because it was created by the guy behind the "Simpsons", which predates "South Park"? Because it's about an average guy in the future wherein "South Park" is about four eight-year-olds dealing with modern life in a small town in Colorado? I change my vote... blhotz is now the greatest...talkbacker...ever!

A travesty.

Which is apparently $100.00 more than they seem to think he's worth, considering they wont put him in anything for over a decade.
If so, do something good. Sell to someone who cares.

the best part is when the one robot went boom, and then other shit went boom, and then Megan Fox ran, and then something went boom.

When that one guy scowled, and then the rain fell, and then the midgets ran around the room.

A-Gummi Bearssaa, bouncing here and there and everywhere, something something beyond compare. THEY ARE THE GUMMI BEARSAAAA!!!!!

was on last night. Demi looked great and sexy with that shaved look.

"Transformers 2" is at 20%.

So fuck off.

Wow, we actually agree on that.

I guess mine would be when shit blew up real good.

the first "Transmorphers" by Asylum studios has a higher percentage than "Transformers 2"! Way to go, Michael Bay. Keep dumbing it down for the retards.

"BIG LOB MAKES HIS MOVE!!"

"BIG LOB GOES FOR THE GOLD!!"

"BIG LOB SAYS SAY NO TO DRUGS!!"



Big Lob is a hero to the children of the world.

I feel bad for you. Offended by a movie about robots. You must lead a sad, pitiful life.

The 12' one can be stationed at Disneyland and wave to the crowd.

If you put him in.....I have a $20 Red Lobster give card with yooooour name on iiitttt....:)

This must mean it's just as good as Blade Runner.

It's no big secret Harry shills for whomever he gets favors or money from. Look at his review history and it should be proof enough for anyone.

Likewise, the bile he spews at certain people that have obviously "wronged" him in some way is equally obvious. See: Brett Ratner.

The general feeling is that it's the worse movie this year.

That would be pretty fucking bad.

keep waitin' champ.

because I feel sorry for you, precisely because your intelligence wasn't offended by "Transformers". You thought that tripe was right at your level. You feel insecure about your position as "#1 Fan of 'Splosions", so you choose to denigrate "Citizen Kane", "Blade Runner" and the works of Pixar, fully knowing that a large majority of the posters here love those movies, as well as a large majority of people everywhere. You feel attacked everytime criticizes giant robots or Shia LeBeouf, so you go on the offensive by being a professional contrarian. Look, it's cool. Some people like characterization and coherent plots with their summer movies, as seen in "Iron Man" and "The Dark Knight". Some people just need a Maxim chick and 'splosions, not to mention a kickass theme song by Linkin Park! Embrace that. Embrace yourself.

was that Foreigner? Or Toto?

It looks dumb, but fun. TF2 was dumb, but, fun as well. Unfortunately TF2 was also bloated and obnoxious beyond all reason.

Give me a break, man. Just because someone happened to enjoy "T:ROTF" doesn't mean they're some kind of imbecile or have inherently bad taste in movies.

I see and enjoy many, many movies (award winners, indie, foreign, and popcorn alike). You know what? I had a hell of a lot of fun watching Transformers 2. That's what really counts in my book.

Regarding "Dark Knight", I'll tell you this: I like it less and less on every subsequent viewing. There are plenty of awkward, pointless moments of exposition, and the Harvey Dent/Two-Face stuff at the end is extremely forced. Nolan took a character that could have been his own movie and shoved it into a few scenes that could have easily been left out altogether. Iron Man has it's fair share of problems, too.

I digress, as this isn't a DK discussion, but I don't think DK is by any means the barometer for intelligent that people seem to think it is.

Blade Runner? Please... just because a film looks astonishing and plods its way through a pretentious story doesn't make it a masterpiece. An achievement, surely, but there's plenty wrong with that one.

Most of the stuff i know about GIJOE,is from the 80s cartoon.if i remember correctly wasnt the Amerindian guy,Spirit i think was his name,the personal opponent of the cobra ninja,named Shadowstorm?

because those two were always fighting each other in the cartoon episodes,and not snake eyes.

but from i understand from teh movie and the talkbacks here,its Snake Eyes who has a personal grudge with Storm ShadowS

so why in the cartoon it was always spirit against shadow storm,and not snake eyes? or i dont remember correctly?

I don't recall any G.I.Joe character named Shadow Storm, in fact I don't remember "Spirit" ever being more than a background character.

Scarlet knows.

Another defeat for the haters. Oh, let me guess: "But remember Moriarty also gave a positive review to (insert tittle of movie you hated)". Or perhaps he also was bought by Paramount, right?

A LOB Story

(Bear in mind, I'm not saying I have a problem with the review per se).

If he's shilling for Paramount, would it not include his contributions to other sites?

Not sure how you worked out that it would only include AICN, which would make a positive review here even MORE suspect?

Why anyone would want a movie to be bad is beyond me.

nah i was remembering correctly,i checked wiki.

Only likes "dark" overhped movies. Poor shithead,

errrrrrrrr...we now live in an age where a freakin woman is selling a GI JOE movie. The F out of here.....

Has got to be one of the funniest things I've read in a Talkback, ever.

just because someone liked the movie? that's what is causing all this whining? because somebody ended up liking something so many already hate? wow....just wow.

"...JOE succeeds where Michael Bay's TRANSFORMERS films failed." Yep...Transformers failed to the tune of $1.5b worldwide. You lose.

Hey, women can VOTE too! Doesn't that suck!

Although a slight adaptation of Philip K. Dick's works, BR has enough material to be original as well as innovative. (It's the film that ushered in the Cyberpunk, if not the Neo Noir concept.)

Can't say the same about a bunch of "Robots in disguise."

Why it's a classic, I'll never know.

stick to 'splosions, and leave the grown-up movies to the grown-ups. And I hardly think Pixar movies are dark and overhyped. And how is "Iron Man" dark? Sigh. Anything requiring thoughts other than "coooool" or "sweeeeeet" must be dark. Now, all together now... "let it be enough to see the truth that lies... across this great diiiiiviiiide!" Man, they're like the Rolling Stones of now, man.

Transformers 2 WAS PG 13. I'm sure kids these days here and see MUCH worse on television thanks to news programs that slant the news everyday.

Thay saw BIG LOB and suddenly their loud obnoxious Harleys werent even good enough anymore.

Suddenly you'll see flames painted on the Enterprise.

And I'm only going for Snake Eyes and hopefully to see a Sky Striker just because I had one as a kid. It's wings folded and it had every missile detachable! It was awesome and I miss it...

Yeah, it's pretentious and heavy handed. Deckard himself does very little other than brood and glower, occasionally bumbling his way through the replicants. He does little detective work (which even Harrison Ford notes). The ending monologue (while great) is a smack-you-over-the-head moment of irony. Blade Runner takes itself so seriously that it doesn't allow you to form one single hopeful thought about the future (esp. the dir cut). What's not pretentious about that?

Please look up the definition of pretentious before responding to me.

youtube.com /watch?v=y5168yjG3Qw. lmao. My brother and I were talking about this the other day. He's of the opinion that it'd make a terrible movie, especially given the way adaptations are being made nowadays (he was a fan of the show by the way). Thoughts?

Yes, yes it does, you KNOW it, You know you AGREE-and you wanna SEE IT. So---

especially when that other film review of Mori's was for Transformers, of which he said "Resistance is futile". WEll it turns out that not only was resistance not futile but time has proven as it ALWAYS does with this dreck, that it's a total piece of shit as a film, action, popcorn, or otherwise. Mori has also admitted to not really understanding the appeal of 80's properties in the first place so he has zeroe xpectations for source material he couldnt care less about. And again his review says nothing but "its just big dumb fun" which is especially disappointing coming from Mori, who I have a lot of respect for.

Right because the world is so full of palpable joy. Seen the Neda video lately? Blade Runner shouldnt take itself one ounce less seriously, earnest takes on sci fi are FAR too few nowadays. The ending isnt ironic because Batty doesnt suddenly discover his humanity, it was already there at the same time as was the monsterous robot. It's what makes the character so brilliant and it's all there through Hauers performance.

You said it before I could. Well done, sir.

Yes, the irony is the fact that all along Batty was as "human" as monster, and just as much so as Deckard (who we now know was never human anyway). We agree. Stop arguing about everything. It a good movie, I SAID THAT. But I still say it's not the goddamn masterpiece that sci-fi fans think it is, and hardly the benchmark for a good film. It's visually perfect and still a stunning movie to behold. That's all. It took TWO director's cuts to finally resolve what was essentially terrible editing and fix broken narrative (and I mean story narrative, not Ford's voiceover).

I know I'm not going to change your mind, but this is my opinion on the matter, so if you don't agree, suckit.

BIG LOB responds: What are you talking about? I saved it an hr ago.

Do most people around here call movies they claim to like pretentious?

That would actually explain A LOT.

You just agreed with me, which means we've made progress, which denotes a linear pattern. And big deal that it took some work to get the film we got. Annie Hall was a bloated mess called Anhedonia until Allen was made to edit it into the film that beat Star Wars for Best Picture (for which I will always hold a grudge).

Scenes of BIG LOB diving off bridges, hanging onto airplane wings, rejecting Baroness advances...rock on.

Based on the trailer, the line "real American hero" is in the movie...now they use "American Badass" song as a TV ad.

But they wont just officially call them Real American Hero??

I dunno...I support this movie and hope it does well but stripping it of red, white and blue just mentally stings as someone who equates GI Joe with the American flag.

the toyline disappeared a while ago. I prefer global initiative.

They started out as American WWII characters, no? G.I. stands for "Goverment Issue" or "General Infantry" or something like that I think.
If its a global initiative might as well call it something else. Global Joe?

And there is also a current ARAH comic.

And what I had tried to explain to you Playkins, was not satisfying enough. ( However,Ind. Killer did a better job.)When you break down the astehics (i.e. majestic dystopian skyscrapers & spinner FX , there was a deep story there especially in regards to the Replicant Roy who finally came to terms with his mortality (lack of a better word)while demonstrating a bit of redemption as in saving Deckard's life. (Or could it be the fact that Batty discovered that Deck was actually a "Skin Job" as well?)

If you ask me, the Director's cut was not better than the original as it seemed somewhat "generic" and did not really add anything spectacular to the film.All in all BR was not some showy pseudo-thought provoking Sci Fi and not trying to be some whimiscal arthouse flick. It had a great concept, ahead of it's time especially during the 80's and is well deserving of it's cult status.

It was more a whim of Ridley Scott, who wanted a heavier implication that Deckard is a Replicant. Just a personal choice on his part. This isnt necessary for story that existed before to make sense or have a strong impact, therefore there was nothing broken to fix. The narration on Fords part is weak and the film is better off without it though.

..meaning friends and Coworkers who share my simular tastes in Movies.Although my best friend liked TF2 despite acknowledging the ignorant stereotypes and shitty attempts of humor.

Ratner's X3 laughs at Bay's disasterpiece.

You are obviously the more knowledgeable on everything. You are right, I am wrong.

It MUST be impossible for someone to enjoy something while at the same time acknowledging its flaws.

It's definitely a black and white issue: Either you must be able to be so exited that you can literally masturbate to a movie, or it must suck.

There will never be any movies that are better than Iron Man, Children of Men, Dark Knight, and Blade Runner. They are flawless. They are the gold-standard of cinema. Popular opinion obviously doesn't count when compared to your intellect.

I understand now, Hollywood should stop trying. Fuck us all, I hope this industry dies.

In the midst of all this debate about fucking G.I. JOE, can we at least agree on one little thing:

In the end, the Larry Hama comic, the show... all of it existed solely to SELL TOYS?

That's insurmountable fact, folks. Can we at least agree on that fact? Because, honestly- it sounds like some people on here think this should be a film that unites the population in a golden age of reborn cinema.

G.I. Joe exists to shill merchandise and be mildly entertaining, people. That's all.

Just like just about everything else??
Ya dont say??

I know, boggles the mind, huh?

and no dingbatty, arah was the 80's.

12 inch fuzzhead gi joe = 60s

gi joe arah = 80s

sigma 6 = early 00s

25th anniversary [thats their official name] = 2007 onwards

gi joe roc = 2009 onwards.

there is team america

Very underrated toyline, but had the coolest looking sci figures of that era. (well next to Mego's Micronauts of course.)

was introduced in the Secret Wars, which was a series invented solely to sell a line of Marvel Toys. Does this mean that any story involving Spider Mans Black Costume (some comic classics) is allowed to be bastardized simply because it's impetus was to make money? Is Spider Man 3 somehow less contemptible a movie? The reason something was made is utterly meaningless when discussing it's quality, it's what it became and what it's potential is as a storytelling device that is important. I'm not asking GI Joe to be anything but a well made action film (nor do I think it should be hyper-violent like the laughably overrated Resolute) but I am asking that it follows what makes the show and comic memorable after 25 years. These 80's properties, cheesy as they are, endure for a reason, and that must be respected.

I can certainly entertain the notion that some folks are getting handshakes for positive reviews for this flick.Bribery is nothing new.

But does anyone remember Harry's review of T:S? He openly admitted to getting the payola from McG and still gave the flick a bad review? I wouldn't be surprised that one reason the websites are getting the early reviews is b/c the internet backlash to this flick is the worst I've seen in a long time.

Marvel Comics was not formed chiefly to sell merchandise. They were conceived first and foremost as a comic/pulp magazine company. Whether or not they introduced comic titles to bolster toy sales is another story (which, as a matter of fact, they did)

Besides, I was only trying to put this into perspective. I wanted to make a point in which we could generally agree on, WITHOUT debating the issue of quality.

BTW, believe it or not I totally agree about "Resolute". I did not even feel like I was watching G.I. Joe in that one. I'. flabbergasted when people suggest that should have been the tone of the movie. Yeah, R rated G.I. Joe is a wonderful idea.

Looked pretty. I didn't see much else there, though. Replacing really cheesy dialogue, lasers, and PSA's with gore and cursing doesn't save Resolute from being as dumb as every other G.I. Joe cartoon ever made.

As it was more akin to of hama's and Devil's Dues comic series respectively.Yes it was violent and had a darker tone, but as one would guess in war, somebody is gonna give up the ghost.The character's "remodified" uniforms looked less "Village Peoplesque" and should have served as some sort of template for the Movie's designs.All Black outfits make no sense and now i'm wondering if the cobra troopers/vipers will be also donning black.Or at least Dark Blue.

When I first saw that Cobra La shit in GIJoe the Movie (1986) it didn't feel like the GIJoe I watched or read..same goes for that horrific 1990 series courtesy of DIC.

...WHERE I KNOW HE FIGHTS FOR ME

AND I WONT FORGET THE THE MOVES HE MADE

TO SET THE OTHER JOES FREE

AND I GLADLY STAND UP! NEXT TO HIM AND I STILL DO IT TODAY

CAUSE THERE AINT NO DOUBT I LOVE THIS LAAAND

BIG LOB's FROM USAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

[tear]