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Spectacular 2012 Trailer Reminds Us That No One Busts Up The Planet Better Than Roland Emmerich!
Beaks here...
Having enjoyed this just-released trailer three times now, I have to ask: why the fuck isn't 2012 coming out, like, this weekend? Because this is the kind of money shot-laden, brain-dead fun this summer's been missing up until now.
We know by now that a Roland Emmerich movie never lives up to the glorious, calamitous promise of its trailer, but when I read (and reviewed!) the script a year ago, I felt it had an excellent chance to out-stupid THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW. Granted, there was nothing as singularly moronic as people outrunning cold air, but it did move at a brisker pace than any film in Emmerich's oeuvre. Watching this trailer, I can't help but think Emmerich might've perfected his formula.
Feel free to look down your nose at this empty spectacle for now. I'll see you there opening day. Stinking drunk.
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....
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His films are Sci Fi original type films with big budgets.
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I'm all in favor of end of the world movies and it looks like this will be pretty much what I'd expect. Nothing worse then a "world ending" movie that shys away from actual destruction.
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Jun 18, 2009 2:06:18 PM CDT
(Deep Impact + Independence Day)/The Day After Tomorrow
by who dat ninga
equals this.
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....Driving Miss Daisy
Breaking News! Bay says " The haters won. He is no longer making TF3 -
and I'm too old for this shit.
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mmmmmm, that's good spectacle!
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The good stuff from all of Emmerich's movies could all fit in a five minute trailer.
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hahaha, oh my. This will be the best comedy of the year, Apatow and Phillips move over. But seriously this looks like total fucking destruction, the effects look better than ever for his films so I'm there. Have you noticed the apocalypse trend in the last 5 years? All these end of the world movies and specials on the History channel? I blame it all on Al Gore for creating global warming.
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sold!
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Gonna have to see this one on the big screen. I love the idea of the gov't building giant arks to preserve the species, last movie with anything like that was Titan A.E. The scale in those effects is fucking insane.
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i really liked the day after tomorrow. Emmerich is on top form when he blows shit up and shit is fantastic. i knew there had to be a movie coming up with these mayan calender shenanigans. but this trilaer exceeds fucking expectations.
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But fun, nontheless.
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sure, it FEELS like other films-but WOW! that trailer was impressive. The only "COMPLAINT" I HAVE IS HOW can that film possibly have a happy ending (although, I'm sure-it will...)
You can count me in for that one! this summer's movies have sucked ass! -
Jun 18, 2009 2:12:24 PM CDT
I THINK EMMERICH SHOULD LEAVE THIS STUFF UP TO
by total fucking destruction
TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION.
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Sometimes, if you forget your scarf, you have to. That trailer looks good although every time I see John Cusack I think it's the end of the world anyway. I particularly liked the crumbling Jesus image. You're right that should be out right now. I'd go.
btw, we all do acknowledge that that's going to happen, right? 2012 is it. No more. We'll all cease to be. Which is why I'm so bummed to hear reports that we won't get a new Batman until 2013. -
At least he's taking all of the world down with him this time, instead of just NYC (ID4, Godzilla, Day After Tomorrow). It kind of makes you wonder how he keeps pitching these ideas: (1995, "OK, we're gonna have aliens come and destroy the world.") (1997, "OK, we're going to have Godzilla come and destroy NYC.") (2003, "OK, we're going to have global warming erupt and destroy the world.") (2008, "OK, we're going to have old prophecies come and destroy the world.") It's like the Will Ferrell of disaster movies......and yeah, this looks cool. I'll go see it.
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please.continue to ONLY make worldwide disaster films. You hae made it into a friggin art-form.Bless your soul for ID4, and bless your soul for this trailer!
you should seriously tackle some more sc-fi type film...like an id4...but with MUCH MORE alien stuff.(you figure it out, I'll watch it) -
Just not too sure about the cast!
What do you think about John Cusack as the lead guys? -
like ID4 except without the aliens.
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haha. Visuals look good, stories and development suck. But nothing better then epic damage and destruction. Yippie, but prob going to suck :( Bummer!
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Emmerich is such a boob. I'll watch this at home, where I can skip through the "character" parts. Chuckle.
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Except with the apocalypse instead of, well, worlds colliding. Emmerich is the George Pal of our time, when it comes to massive destruction!
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And you have my $12 for the IMAX, sir...
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should make a film where HUMANS go to alien planet-and blow that shit up-and the aliens are the victims.That would rock my pants off(although out of respect, I'd put them back on)
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$150MM opening weekend
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...burning rubber. The entire Planet Earth is falling a part and it still comes down to a guy getting down to serious right foot business with a gas pedal. I'll see it though.
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... this will probably be shitty, but fun, explosive shitty on a global scale. Fuck Bayformers, this is the true big, dumb summer explosive extravaganza.
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Here's how it goes, 50 minutes of "ominous" signs the world is fucked, one man who knows the truth but others refuse to listen, chaos of the world falling to shit, a family reunited and the promise of a relaunch for the world with the survivors. Give me a fucking break.
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come 2012 we will all be dead so no one will see this film...ha ha ha ha ha!!
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LOOKS CASH, BRO.
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...as I don't have to pay for daycare or change any diapers.
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Thats fucking insane.
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The Movie
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Hope they really polish this sucker up because many of those fx shots were complete crap.
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I'll see you hate fags in line, hahahaha!
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Jun 18, 2009 2:27:10 PM CDT
Needs more aliens, zombie outbreaks, dogs and cats living togeth
by turketron_2
If I made this movie, I'd put more "world ending" shit in it. Just for variety. Go hard or go home.
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I like the idea of making a film about the 2012 doomsday theories, but Roland Emmerich is not the guy to make this film. The film should really explore the mythology of the theory and be very brief in showing an actual apocalypse. This movie just looks like Deep Impact with a 2012 backdrop instead of an astroid apocalypse. Why is there always a black president when the world is going to blow up? That being said, Barack will still be in office on D Day... whether he wins re-election or not, he will be there til Jan 2013. Oh yeah, lastly, I hear Emmerich is a pervert is likes to have young boys over to his house. Sadly, thats not a joke either.
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That disappear in the beginning of the movie and reappear on a different continent to menace the main characters.
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a pervert, then someone order him up a dozen young boys..pronto! this man has a cool film to finish!
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Yeah, this would look totally awesome, in 1995, when the disaster movie was still halfway fresh
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I DEMAND DICKBLOOD!!!!
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Right? Damn Hollywood and their unoriginality!
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Fucking Hollywood! FUCK.
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What surprises are left making it worthwile for me to drag myself to the theater, I got the feeling I almost saw the entire movie already apart from the no doubt hard to believe cheesy happing ending
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How about numbing and redundant?
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my bad
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BIG DADDY
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THE WORLDS ENDS...AGAIN! But this time, it's 1000 years later.(call frank marshall right now-i want that script pronto!)
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In all of roland's movies, you never really see actual people getting totally fucked up. Like there are a few scenes in there where the ground is opening up, but there aren't people falling in. just buildings and vehicles. I want to see people fucking die, not just collateral damage.
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That was everything I expected it to be (and I wasn't expecting much). However, I do have to say that it looks like the worst use of John Cusak in a lead role since Con Air.
What are you doing, John? -
Foreshadowing of global cataclysm, one guy knows the deal but everyone thinks he's a nutter, cataclysm happens to surprise of skeptics and chagrin of I Told You So'er, sciencey types figure out some way to salvage the human race, people work together, we celebrate our independence day, rinse, repeat
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This could work. It looks amazing.
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... But in a good way. What are they uploading the virus into this time? Hopefully Prez Glover takes to the skies at some point too.
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squeeky clean streets being destroyed, completely devoid of people. the only time you see people on the scene of the destruction is when the vatican is collapsing, but even then you don't really see anyone getting crushed by buildings.
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probably manage to piss off every major religion
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If you made a film like this where the earth just gets completely fucking destroyed and no one survives for a happy ending it would be an artistic coup. But what the fuck do I know?
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Bay and Sommers WISH they could destroy things like this.
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Encouranging people to research new age hysteria is pretty effective. Kind of makes it scarier. As for the movie, the script is most likely crap. But that is some seriously awesome devastation. It's got my $10 at any rate. I hope John Cusack gets to yell, "My son is in there."
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... low res sheeet.
This movie looks like the same retarded crap they've been putting out since Stargate, just to show off some new SFX. It can't be as bad as 10,000 BC though. -
And his shit is badly staged and repetetive.
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Nuff said.
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Isn't it obvious people? Just Like Iron Man, Hulk 2, the upcoming Thor, etc, are tie-ins that will eventually lead to the release of The Avengers movie, so are Independence Day, Godzilla, The Day After Tomorrow and 2012 tie-ins that will eventually lead into what will be Emmerich's opera prima film: TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION.
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I would actually love a live action high budget remake of titan ae. that movie didn't deserve to flop.
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2 and a half hours of every single noteworthy city, building, and statue in the world getting destroyed.
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Add equal parts of every movie you've ever made, stir, add millions of dollars of SFX, throw away script and get your 12 year old daughter to write a new one, bake for a year or two then release shitty low res trailer on Yapoo. Done. Perhaps Michael Bay and Emmerich could fuck each other in the ass until they become one man and then maybe two negatives will equal a positive? BTW, Transformers 2 looks even more retarded than the first one, if that's possible.
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Pretty crazy imagery.
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Not too good according the last scene in this trailer. Damn, who forgot to bring the Mosquitoes?
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Jun 18, 2009 2:50:00 PM CDT
Still the loudest burst of applause I've ever heard in a theatre
by chrth
Was the end of the first act of ID4, right after the door clangs shut and July 3rd came up on screen. Crowd went nuts.
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...THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW. I really hate movies that use expensive special effects but are extremely boring.
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Just download the HiDef one like I did (I couldn't get the low res one to play)
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But that's today!
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if the protagonist was killed before Act II and the rest of the movie was just stuff getting destroyed in absence of a hero. That would be rad
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wake me up when this film comes out.Ill be there opening night with..yep..you guessed it..a nice slice of toast and my bottle of RICH KELLY'S TASTY JELLY(tm).Lather me up some tasty toast and bring on Cusack's jowels runnin from oblivion please!
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Just TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION!
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Could this actually be entertaining? I hate Emmerich, but I have to admit, this looks fucking epic. Hell, even if it's just a two hour effects reel, I'll still give it a shot...
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DUMBBBBBBBB!!!!
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...when he saw THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW. He loves to see his disciples make films that honor his questionable ideas. Of course, the rest of us slept through it.
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There could easily be destruction fatigue. You can only take so much before your brain just shuts down. Spielberg is a master: in the opening sequence of Saving Private Ryan, just when it was about to become "too much", it shifted to an inner view, getting real quiet, as a respite for a little while, before getting loud again. I don't know if Emmerich has the subtlety to do that.
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The only way to tolerate, much less enjoy an Emmerrich movie is while baked.
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The earth is the antagonist. I'm there. Hope the hero wins.
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wept like a baby. Then, in an act of compassion, I fed him RICH KELLY'S TASTY JELLY(tm)..and he he stood up like a man, and walked off into the distance.You go Al Gore
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This movie looks like its gonna blow. Great fx blah blah blah. Oh and the crack between god and man at the vatican? SUPER FUCKIN CHEESY I laughed out loud. Besides - how do you end a movie like this? If the human race ends up on mars/the moon then they should never give Emmerich another directing job ever again
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*as he thanks Obama for the role*
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...Once, just fn ONCE... I'd like to see a caveman movie where the cavemen (and cavewomen) can talk in contractions! Also, today's cavewomen are much too PC... I prefer the 1960's cavewomen who all wore fur bikinis (except the ancient, old medicine woman, she can stay in her full-coverage bear rug getup, thank you!)
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i like the shot of the Vatican (dome?) crumbling down and then sliding towards the camera still intact!..end of the world movies rock!
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Black suit - check. Slicked back hair - check. Drives a Lincoln Town Car - check.
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Not to worry, despite Total Fucking Destruction (tm), the human race will regroup somewhere where you can pitch a tent on the steaming rubble and we will realize that the destruction couldn't have been that bad if you can still pitch a tent somewhere on steaming rubble
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PLATT TO CUSACK: I'm sorry, we forgot to bring along any women. Your ten year old daughter is going to have to repopulate the planet.
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In Winnipeg, we spend seven months of the year doing that shit.
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Morgan Freeman in Deep Impact, Tiny Lister in The 5th Element, now Danny Glover and his bleeding cock in 2012. All presiding over massive destruction. Get Obama the fuck out of office before aliens invade.
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The Maya were "mankind's oldest civilization"? Umm...no. Not even close dumbasses. That would be Mesopotamia. We are breeding a nation of retards.
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...like Knowing. *Spoiler* There will be a handful of people left, just enough to propagate the species.
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Roland Emmerich is da man for world-wide destruction. But I agree that this one shouldn't have a happy Hollywood ending, just a slow zoom-out a la CONTACT while the Earth just totally fucking implodes!
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Jun 18, 2009 3:12:36 PM CDT
Michael Bay can swallow Roland's German seed.....
by dannyglovers_dickblood
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Frankly, movies like this are icky to me. The scenes are cool but I get no joy out of mass destruction. At least in "War of the Worlds", I was *supposed* to be horrified. With Emmerich, I'm supposed to be thrilled with the bloody destruction of men, women , and children.
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Reasons to see this film:
1. Great Cast.
2. Great visuals.
Reason not to see this film:
1. Roland Emmerich.
I think all of his films have made great trailers, but when you stretch them out to 2 hours they fall apart.
Nope. Not going to see this one either, even if Emmerich is the master of making CG buildings collapse.
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Should list their profession. Just for the sake of research.
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I hate to break this to everyone, but I just looked at my calendar on the wall and IT ENDS in December of 2009, on the 31st day. Brace yourselves, say goodbye to your friends. After hundreds of failed end of the world prophecies, I am sure this one is true!
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I mean seriously, who expects a decent story in an Roland Emmerich Film?!?!? NOBODY, you see his films for the SFX shots and this looks like it is going to deliver..I descent story would be a bonus but is hardly to be expected
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Yeah because we've never seen a Black President in a movie before Obama? STFU numbnuts. Hell Morgan Freeman did it in Deep Impact fucking 11 years ago. In fact it's fairly cliche to have a black President in every end of the world story nowadays. As if having a black man running the country is some omen of the apocalypse. It's borderline racist.
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looks pretty cool
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A movie where ancient Mayan prophecies, plummeting comets and asteroids, zombies, global warming, alien invasions, pandemics, Earth's core stopping its spin, world-conquering Babylonian demons in the form of marshmallow men, Kaiju attacks... all happen at once! It's so bad that the Second Coming of Christ happens but no one notices and Jesus gets stepped on by Mecha King Ghidora. Then George W. Bush somehow manages to retake the White House and things REALLY take a turn for the worse. It'll be the ultimate movie!
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dumb, sadistic, utterly miserable, and depressing as hell. Poor Emmerich...i liked Stargate, I loved ID4..but it's just been downhill from there...
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"The dumb is BROUGHT!" The height of their civilization was what? About 500AD (that's Anno Domini, i.e. current era) to about 1000AD. That's roughly from the collapse of the western Roman Empire to about the time of the Crusades. WTF? Roland, hire someone who can do research (and some decent writers). Sheesh!
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why not just stay home and watch stargate sg1? both the movie and the show have the same production values. and wasnt this movie made a few years back by the same guy, except an ice age hit?
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Paedo priests cower and pray as the Sistine chapel cracks apart above them - genius!
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To bad the movie will probably suck like the rest of his movies(excluding the patriot). Emmerich has always been the King of movie trailers. If their was an oscar for movie trailers he'd win hands down.
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For the best movie reviews, who better to ask than to people wihtout jobs who just watch films. Subscribe at itunes and look for "jobless film reviews" or go to http://tinyurl.com/l44edq
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Um.. at least I think they were paedo. They might just have been fags. Or celibates.
Ok, guess we'll just have to watch the movie to find their sexual orientation. (prob paedo though). -
For the best movie reviews, who better to ask than to people wihtout jobs who just watch films. Subscribe at itunes and look for "jobless film reviews" or go to http://tinyurl.com/l44edq
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To my list of stupid sites I will never visit because their marketing strategy involves spamming AICN talkbacks. Congratulations, jizzbreath
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What? I thought we were reviving old TB memes.
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'who better to ask than people wihtout jobs who just watch films.'
'Drifters' at the drive in? 'Slackers' at the cinema. 'Bums' on the seats. 'Lazy cunts' on their couches.
FUCK OFF AND GET A JOB YOU JOBLESS CUNTS. FUCKING WELFARE IS NOT MEANT TO PAY FOR YOU TO WATCH TRANSPORTER 3. SPONGING ASSHOLES!!! -
Sexiest Beanpole Planet?
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WHAT'S NEXT. CINEASTE? FFS.
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Ain't if funny how we're supposed to believe in the predictions of the wise old and ancients that couldn't even avoid and/or predict their own demise?
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I constantly see that used, do people mean "pedo"? Is "paedo" some european spelling like "colour"
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Jun 18, 2009 3:51:53 PM CDT
Black presidents don't equal future anymore They need to sta
by robertbaron
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Sooooo... they just kinda fly around and things blow up around them?
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What the fuck does Ponce mean anyway?
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That's the gayest trailer evar!
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YOU can keep avatar, I'll take 2012-signed, Me
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Did i mispell hollywood...oh well...fuck it, and fuck frank marhsall too
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Jun 18, 2009 4:00:33 PM CDT
AICN BAN THIS FUCKING CUNT -- joblessfilmreviews
by dannyglovers_dickblood
If you motherfuckers continue to allow spamming in these boards I'm out of here. Fuck this shit.
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Can anybody tell exactly what they are? They're on the side of the 2 when the title comes up at end. You can see it for a second when it revolves into view. All I can make out is ".................into place. ............ Apocalypse."
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Thanks for elaborating on the idea. In addition to plummeting comets and asteroids, zombies, global warming, alien invasions, pandemics, Earth's core stopping its spin, world-conquering Babylonian demons in the form of marshmallow men, and Kaiju, I think we need to add some shit to really take this to another level. We need killer robots, lovecraftian Cloverfield type monsters (some of which were the comets/asteroids), someone forgetting to push the button in the Swan Station, gremlins (reproducing like mad because of all the water!), flying DeLoreans materializing out of nowhere and crashing into shit and causing small nuclear explosions(because people in the future were fucking with the timeline), that slimy shit from the Abyss getting angry because of the churning oceans and fucking people up, the fucking Borg show up and start assimilating the population which is now mostly zombies, creating a new zomborg, volcanoes going in reverse and sucking shit in because the earth's core has now started spinning in the opposite direction, and lots and lots of mutant dogs chasing people through exploding buildings and cars and shit!!!! YEEEEAH!
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The whole movie looks to be one big money shot.
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Bale Akbar!
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*white house explodes*
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Maybe in the sequel ...
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Jun 18, 2009 4:11:43 PM CDT
Guys guys...it could have been worse. Gambit guy...
by dannyglovers_dickblood
...could have been in it. Fortunately Roland makes far better casting decisions than Andrew Stanton.
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Tagline for the STREETS!
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He did that crazy flip like in Wolverine and uses his staff weapon to hit the Earth's weakpoint for massive damage!
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This looks great for laughs, but nothing else.
Good to see Amanda Peet is still getting the occasional (hopefully) lucrative role. -
I though it was a fantastic fucking film that screamed for a sequel.
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...is a filmmaker. Otherwise, he'd be a terrorist.
You know it to be true. -
ponce  /pɒns/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [pons] Show IPA
–noun British Slang.
1. a pimp.
2. a campily effeminate male.
Origin:
1870–75; of obscure orig.
Pon⋅ce  /ˈpɔnsɛ/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [pawn-se] Show IPA
–noun a seaport in S Puerto Rico. 161,739.
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Opening shot of Mayan temples accompanied by the Exotic Wailing Bitch. Guaranteed. Bitch has already cashed the cheque.
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They made an entire 10 season TV show! Hell, I think the show is better than the movie...
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Laughed at this...the man does have a penchant for destruction.
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Not sayin it isn't a heaping pile of stupidity. Just sayin that if you drink 750ml of spiced rum first it'd be a fun afternoon with yer buddies.
I wanna know, will Beaks be so drunk that he gets kicked out of the theatre? -
'nuff said.
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Like Beaks said, no one does it better! Consider my ass in line!
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No more white Hollywood presidents, especially when disaster strikes. Morgan Freeman and Danny Glover are going to be very busy, politically.Lots of groovy destruction. And again, Roland blows up the Whitehouse--or floods it, this time. He sure loves to do that.
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Had way too little destruction. Roland is making up for it, this time.
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If they had any balls they'd have pushed the release date back until 2012.
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A sure way to indicate to the audience that we're at least five centuries in the future.
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Jun 18, 2009 4:43:30 PM CDT
i just hope its not boring like 10000 BC or Day AFter Tommorrow
by bmacsmith
that was their sin. i walked out of 10000 BC out of sheer boredom.
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i have my doubts he can pull off another ID4 after a whole lot of shit movies. oh well, the trailer was cool.
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... just a restart of the human consciousness into a golden age of peace and understanding.
anyways, this should be awesome in imax and freakin' awesomer in 3d.
emmerich films = guilty pleasure -
fucking hilarious.
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Love the guy!!! and lets be honest...Con Air was cool. We are missing those blockbusters this year.
Real heroes without tights...... -
That was awesome!!! But how can any movie live up to THAT??
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Jun 18, 2009 4:51:19 PM CDT
Glover doesnt lay down for nobody, especially the Earf's destruc
by bmacsmith
without a goddamned good explanation!
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I hope they all die in the end, then, just as the audience is about to leave, thinking the movie is over, porn music comes on and he cuts to a lesbian porn scene, overlaying the words "a 100 years later". He zooms out, showing extraterrestrials walking in some sort of museum with hundreds of artifacts belonging to different lost civilizations. We see strange, bizarre creatures staring briefly at the pornographic images on a big screen, then walking away to the next artifact, as he fades to black. The End. Yes, all that was left of our species was a dvd of lesbian porn. Sorry, I'm drunk.
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...using nuclear weapons.
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who writes this shit? even though i probably just saw every cool part of the movie, it looks ok.
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I be a total sucker for Emmerich style madness. Okay I didn't see 10000 BC but other than that I say the man knows how to bring out the silly visceral fun for a blockbuster, and he usually throws in a few decent characters along the way. That fact that Cusack's in it gives me the happy and the explodey stuff looks intense.
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I grow weary of things falling apart. Also, include me in the eye-rollers who balked at the Mayans being called the world's oldest civilization. Also, I'm tired of disaster movies where the hero maintains his family. Just once I'd like to see a movie where the protagonist loses it all and has to slog on with a miserable life, barely finding a reason to live from moment to moment. None of this caca with a man saving his kids above all odds. No, everyone dies. That's actually how this should end. Not one survivor. Or with people on the space ark watching the world die and then realizing they're screwed because they have no way of sustaining life for more than a few years. Oh, yeah.
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Pass.
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Of much yawning and sleepiness in my household. My gosh, but that film was boring. I was at least semi-engaged with The Day After Tomorrow: Run from the Cold Air, but it was mostly boring. Not remotely engaging like first seeing Independence Day. At least this one looks to have lots of action and Totally Interesting Destruction. Though I haven't seen a Total Destruction movie that really engaged me since Twister, which I really enjoyed. Ah, Jan Debont, what happened to ye?
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Roland Emmerich... and I know it's gonna blow. 10,000 B.C., The Day After Tomorrow, Godzilla, Independence Day... I mean come on. Uwe Boll and Roland Emmerich should do a flick together.
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Will there be time for romance? And will we see a plucky dog just jumping out of the way of a nuclear fireball, just in the nick of time?
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Will this one become background here?
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His movies have shit blowing up real well but that's about it. At least you can see the action and it's not a fucking quick cut scene right after another like some other mindless action directors.
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His movies have shit blowing up real well but that's about it. At least you can see the action and it's not a fucking quick cut scene right after another like some other mindless action directors.
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sorry he doesn't use quick edits AS MUCH as other mindless action directors...also sorry for the double post
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what Uwe Boll is to video game movies.
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He will give it a cold, uh, uh, a virus, a computer virus. That should disable 2012's shields long enough for our president to stop the apocalypse in a fighter jet
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from Emmerich.ID4 was entertaining but stupid,Day after Tomorrow was just stupid,Godzilla was shit,and now he showed me the whole movie with this trailer.Saved me $10 I was never gonna give him.Im just fuckin thrilled Michael Bay isnt doing anymore Transformers movies,the bad news,TF2 will make shitloads of money and some other assclown will direct the 3rd,and 4th,and so on....Hope fully McG,so it can be guaranteed to fail.
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And I mean the silent version of "beau geste" dated. I mean Skidoo dated.
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The design of those secret ships sure looks to have been inspired by something else...
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I don't care if it makes sense, this film needs some dinosaurs in it.
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And that's saying something.
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I think Roland has discovered a new dimension of retardedness. Where he is the king.
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this could be his second best
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...I'll catch it on DVD. You can't beat the Red Box rentals for $1 vs. a wasted night at the movies for $10. Emmerich introducing the clip reminded me of a spoof on the MTV Movie awards about a decade ago, when they had a skit poking fun at guys like him and Jan De Bont. Some comedian in a white wig and a heavy German accent is making a disaster movie about killer snow. The director goes on about how each snow flake was CGI'd to have its own particular personality.
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I mean, all of his films have been retarded, the question is whether they can be considered retarded FUN or retarded BAD.for my money, Independence Day and The Day After Tomorrow are pretty damn fun, and Godzilla and 10,000 BC are horrible. this sounds like it's more in the vein of the first 2, so I'm optimistic. plus, Cusack is always good. remember how much he did with his throwaway role in Con Air?I hate to advocate brainless silly movies, since I think you can have popcorn fun AND a brain (Dark Knight, Iron Man, Indiana Jones [the old versions]) but still, this does look pretty damn cool.
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coz apparently every summer movie has to have pyramids
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Oliver Platt (much like Kevin Bacon) is an uncannily reliable sign that a movie will suck.
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What were you expecting dinosaurs and shit? It had Camilla Belle and rampaging woolly mammoths. In my book, that's a formula for success.
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Feels like I've seen it before, But, Y'know, I'm sure I'll go watch this.
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hate to disagree, but the Mayans were around at least as long ago as 2000BC, and some say even longer. they certainly predate the romans by a long shot, although it's arguable they were predated by the Egyptians. it's hard to say, cause the Egyptians started keeping track of shit much earlier, but some of the Mayan culture has been traced back further.still, they was around for over a thousand years before the romans, just had to point that out.the conspiracy theories around their prophecies are retarded, however. on par with nostradamus and scientology.
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and the Mesopotamians, ancient ancestors of the Iraqis. I'm pretty sure.
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That's crazy
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i hate how Bay blows his load over every scene and calls it style. at least Emmerich keeps the camera still and doesnt try to make every shot an epic slo-mo money shot. Sommers is Bay lite, but Emmerich is his own breed of suck. but we are comparing shit to shit here.
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Minus Emmerich of course
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That's my favorite Cusack movies.
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its still a masterpiece there should be a sequel
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Worse than Bay, and maybe even Sommers. If you pay $10 for this than you might as well pay $10 for Emmerich to take a steaming shit in your mouth too
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We had Y2K. Nothing. And once 2012 lapses what else have we got? I demand more alien invasions. Effective ones. None of that infiltration stuff.
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no way the mayans predate Old World civilisations. its impossible unless humanity somehow evolved separately in the Americas. no. fucking. way.
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did I mention AIDS? Emmerich is worse than that too
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He must get a hard on anytime there's a natural disaster anywhere in the world.
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"big dumb fun!", "blissfully retarded!", "chocolate covered apocolyptic pussy juice!", "way better than T4!", "double exclamation mark!!", "that said...."
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get it knocked up and repopulate the earth with sexy ass rhona mitra...she can sit on my face..2012 times.
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The Day After Tomorrow all over again.
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yep, Emmerich has an apocolyptic fetish. Problem is; so do I (love post apocalyptic films, have spent about 3yrs working on a post-apocalyptic book), yet despite this, I haven't enjoyed a single one of his films. I'm the man's target audience, yet I doubt I could even be assed getting out 2012 on DVD on $2 Tuesday
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It's brilliant, especially if you watch it as if you're a child on a sugar-high, blah, blah, blah...
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...with modern CG and without aliens.
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BMacSmith: Humans reached the Americas sometime between 14,000 and 12,000 BC. "Civilization" doesn't develop until much later, unless you believe Graham Hancock.
drewlicious: 2038 is a doomsday date, as the 32-bit clock hits wrapsaround to negative (64-bit clocks won't have an issue until 292,277,026,596)
As for whether or not it will be dated ... people still groove to Prince's 1999. If it's good, people will still watch it.
BSB: Thanks for the definition of Ponce. So what do people have against faggots in a puerto rican village then? -
and then i hope all of his kids, and everyone he loves follows him screaming into the depths of Hell.
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Jun 18, 2009 6:36:18 PM CDT
The Mayans weren't the first civilization, the Sumerians were.
by alfie boy
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2000 BC, so under strict definitions of what constitutes a 'civilization', they could be oldest (the Egyptian civilization was eradicated by the Ptolemys and the Romans, and the other Middle Eastern ones devoured each other in turn). It's a stretch, but it's not a ridiculous one.
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quote Turtle from NORTH SHORE "..when the wave's like dis don't be here: or you get drilled!" -
Yet again.
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EOM.
Oh, man! I can't believe I just got scooped by Alfie Boy with the same comment! -
Good point, Gwai Lo. Was that a Giraffe flying through the Himalaya? Oh no. I actually want to see this movie and I never thought I'd say or write that. I watched the trailer with the sound turned off and it made all the enourmous destruction of things look even more ....beautiful. Should I maybe watch this with my ears plugged? Also: If there's anything barely resembling plot or character development left in this movie, such as people talking or (which is more likely) yelling at each other, then I say cut it out.
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Do you guys know how hard it is to please you guys. Seriously, its an "end of the world destruction" movie... not Shakespeare. Of course its going to be stupid and silly and just laugh out loud ridiculous but thats the beauty of these movies. I mean I hated TDAT just as much as the next person but I accepted it for what it was... just a goofy summer movie... look at it this way... at least its not a remake or a sequel to anything
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"The Sinking of Japan"?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0473064/ -
He wants you to stop justifying garbage with his name. He suggested Keats, Donne, Shelley, Wordsworth, hell... Aristotle. Just stop excusing the latest celluloid travesty with the old chestnut "relax guys, it's not supposed to be Shakespeare." Seriously. Next time he rolls over in his grave he will have rolled straight through the other side of the earth, and then his zombie ass is coming to eat your brains.
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will one day laugh their asses off at "ASS : The movie"
Fucking retards. -
...From the proper noun Ponce De Leon, a 16th Century Spanish Explorer who discovered Florida. De Leon, a notorious flaming homosexual set out on his voyage of discovery not to steal gold and kill lots of Native Americans (a great fad back in his day) but to find the fabled "Fountain of Youth" which, as it turns out, was not an actual spring of magical waters that could make one immortal, but rather a village chock full of nublie young (and willing) Indian boys between the ages of 18 and 21. Ponce was pretty much the Bruno of his day.
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...Everyone knows that if you're going to build an ark, you absolutely have to stock it with a couple of giraffes and also cut a couple of holes in the roof of the ark for the giraffes to stick their heads through. It's just standard ark-building procedure. I thought that was common knowledge.
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Shakespeare was sort of the Roland Emmerich of his time
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just took issue with the idea that they were simply contemporaries of the roman empire/crusades. the Mesopotamians and all them are way older, sure.
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and was entertaining just like Emmerich
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Shakespeare would be more like the George Lucas of his time. He stole bits and pieces of famous stories and rewove them into something new for the masses. (Now, will kids be reading the script to "Attack of the Clones" in high school 500 years from now? Sweet mother, I hope not.)
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Towering Inferno? Check! Airport '75? CHECK! Earthquake? CHECK! Exorcist? CHECK! My my.
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He was very similar to the Greek playwrights in that the vast majority of his works were derivative. In fact, Shakespeare was the Hollywood Remake Factory of his day!
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people take these movies way too seriously.. you have to look at it for what it is... i mindless summer blockbuster... except its coming in november.. that sux
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... rains of red matter, black holes cropping up everywhere spewing out irritatingly cute robots that talk in the voice of Slim Pickens, glass-boned extradimensional aliens melting the heads off of women with badly-faked russian accents, Shia Leboef cloned to infinity crashing legions of SUVs and swinging through the streets of America with armies of Jumanji monkeys, the brobdignagian head of George Lucas rolling across the landscape and crushing the White House, Tom Cruise and Xenu with an armada of Thetans divebombing out of the skies in DC-9 spaceships, Iranian thugs with moused hair and gold chains with Zodiac pendants, on motorcycles wielding billy clubs, gigantic tsunamis of high-fructose corn syrup washing over the landscape causing children everywhere to swell up to Mr. Creosote proportions and expode releasing subsidiary tsunamis of vomit flecked with gummi bears that then glom together into gigantic, walking Akira teddy bear creatures that likewise vomit up tidal waves of sour milk...
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Blames the destruction on capitalist gringo aggressors.
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Yes.
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Why bother with script and actors? Just destroy stuff for straight two hours with a score by Trevor Rabin. That way you wouldn't have to buy all those meals for Oliver Platt.
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made me poop myself with it's awfulness
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That is all....
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Jun 18, 2009 7:42:28 PM CDT
That shit with the U.S.S. John Kennedy is pretty sweet.
by indycollector
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Even if it turns out to be stupid I'm still going to see it for the breathtaking effects alone.
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that's what this movie is all about!
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I'd rather watch that.
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where in the line of succession does DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD fall?
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Jun 18, 2009 7:52:41 PM CDT
morgan freeman is the president. smart ppl are put into ships
by ironic_name
and elija wood and leelee sobieski bike away.
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I'd say a straight shot right inside the Oval Office.
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I guess thats all there is for him. Go all "Angels Vs. Demons" and shit. When Jesus charges into battle God can scream "My son is in there!!!"
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or whatever
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Shouldn't it IMPLODE in this one? If the Earth is cracking open swallowing everything else why would it leave the White House to be drowned by a tidal wave? And who left the light on in the White House? This film must be Oscar worthy since it's opening in November... :^P
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where he usually is, on his knees under some dude's desk...only in this case it's the president in the oval office!ZING!!
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Can't wait for the movie. Release Now!!!
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coz of the french?
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Plus it has Chiwitel Ejiofor. I'm there!
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Independence Day is losing its luster, Godzilla was overblown and boring, Day After Tomorrow was just plain stupid - now the Mayan calendar has been raped for another excuse to blow things up reeeeal good. Who is giving this guy money to make movies?
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"Who is giving this guy money to make movies?" ah, us?
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Didn't bother to scroll thru the talkback before offering my witty comments. Kudos to those who caught the Irwin Allen connection earlier - hats off to you guys.
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Uploading a computer virus into the Earth's crust. This infects the Earth's dastardly plan of destroying itself and mankind. America is teh winnar! USA, USA, USA, USA, USA!
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To make the ID4,Deep Impact and Day After Tommorow jokes. But seriously, does anyone believe this will be anything other than absolute crap? And how come no other country's cities ever get detroyed in these movies?
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President Murtaugh: "It's just been revoked!"
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That's another country. China, I think.
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*Looks exasperated*
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Once, the world was not as it has since become. Once it worked in a way different from the way it works now; its very flesh and bones, the physical laws that governed it, were ever so slightly different from the ones we know. It had a different history, too, from the history we know the world to have had, a history that implied a different future from the one that has actually come to be, our present.
In that age (not really long ago in time, but long ago in other bridges crossed, which we shall not return by again), certain things were possible that are not now; and contrariwise, things we know not to have happened indubitably had then; and there were other differences large and small, none able now to be studied, because this is now, and that was then.
Actually, the world ("the world": all this; time and space; past, present, future; memory, stars, correspondences, physics; possibilities and impossibilities) has undergone such an agony more than once, many times maybe within the span of human life on earth, as we measure that life now in our age. And whenever it does happen, there comes a brief moment-a moment just as the world turns from what it has all along been into what it will from then on be-a brief time when every possible kind of universe, all possible extensions of Being in space or time, can be felt, poised on the threshold of becoming: and then the comer is turned, one path is taken, and all of those possibilities return into nonexistence again, except for one, this one. The world is as we know it now to be, and always has been; everyone forgets that it could be, or ever was, other than the way it is now.
But suppose the world is in fact now coming to an end, the world of Meaning we have always lived in. And suppose that the Powers who must make from it a new one—one that will be just like the old one in most but not all respects—are mulling just now over what sort the new world might be, and what garb they themselves might appear in too. If that’s the case, then that old multilayered earth and its shape-shifting travellers would have to be among the worlds from which they could choose—mutatis mutandis, the same but never exactly the same, take a little out of the waist and plump the shoulders. More likely not, though; more likely they’ll choose something entirely different this time, something in a fierce hound’s-tooth maybe, or a moiré taffeta, eye-fooling, iridescent: can’t you see them (I can) moving amid the racks and counters fingering the goods, unable to decide, all possibilities laid out before them once again before they make their choice, thereafter to pretend (once again) that everything has always been this way, that they themselves have all along had these aspects and not others, rank on rank, the army of unalterable Law?
When the world ends it ends differently for each person then alive to see it, each person who chances to see it among all the other things to be seen and felt and understood around us all the time; and then very soon it begins again. And almost everyone persists, almost unchanged, into the new world, which is exactly like the old one in almost every respect, or seems to be in the brief moment when the old world can still be remembered.
Almost everyone.
The creatures of the passage time do not persist, who only came into existence for the length of time the world wavered undecided over what shape it would take next; they dissolve or are dismembered like the Golem, or they vacate their bodies and leave only bones, like the beings of the night sky who have left only bright dotted lines to show where once they were. And there are those who cannot persist because the new age was made out of their substance; the world ended in their knowledge that it would, and the new world was born of their ignorance of what it could be.
When the West was endless, a sea reaching into the sunset, that was where the beasts and heroes of an old age went at last, stepping aboard a ship restless at anchor, the sign of Cancer painted on their sails. After it had all been swept into the unrecoverable again, Rosicrucian brothers fleeing, the Stone, the Cup, the Rose all blown away again like leaves; under a fuliginous and pitchy sky (dawn due to come, but otherwhere and elsewhen than there and then) they would be gathered up, the one by one by an old man, his beard white as milk and a star on his forehead. Gathered up. Come along now, for our time is past.
So now too.
Well how?
With Hermes Mercurius, Messenger and Trickster, Shepherd of men into the land of death. At the end of every age he comes to ingather the gods and heroes of that age, who won’t survive its dissolution, to his City, which will at that time come to be in the westernmost limit of his disappearing land. Come along now it’s time.
One of their number though left behind in the storm of the world. They seal him in a boat and set him afloat on the years, to be both the message and the messenger. Like Jor-El amid the vastation of Krypton, sealing his own son within the capsule that will carry him into the far future and another world, to grow up not knowing his name or nature, the only one of his kind.
One time it was the man-king Hermes himself, the Thrice-great, self-interred or maybe helped into bed by his even greater progenitor, ibis-headed Theuth. Found centuries later, the Smaragdine Tablet gripped in his white hands. In a cave or something supposedly. And then there’s the Rosicrucians’ story of their founder, discovered in a tomb in a room in a cave.
Then at last would be the Great Instauration, not all at once or without costs or sorrows, but as last everywhere: a backward revolution, a backflip of wonder performed to turn the progress of the world around like a galleon and head it again for the Age of Gold, which lies in the past, in the beginning, but which could now be sought for in the time to come, as Hermes Thrice-great in Ægypt so long ago predicted: the restoration of all good things in the course of time by the will of God. Or by means of the gods, as the Giordanisti would always say it; meaning by gods nothing other than the Reasons of the World: the grammar of divine fecundity endless and ordered, the reasons that make all things to be as they are and yet make them always capable of transformation, the reasons that work and will go on working forever, just because they can: we call them gods because they are within us, because they made our bodies and our minds for us too, because we recognize their faces from long ago, because we love and need and fear them, every one.
And that is how the world came to be in which we would come to be. This world, our great wide wonderful beautiful world, and our benignant sun, Sol Apollo, since then grown even larger and more kind; and the great good beings who, like our Terra, circle him in love, those animals whom in time our æronauts will set out to visit, on winged ships that will be drawn up into the air and beyond the moon’s sphere by Will and his cousin Eros. Our seas teeming with metamorphosis, the great gems growing in our caves, watched over by solitary dæmons; our walled and towered cities guarded too by their own genii, our famous colleges and abbeys where no sort of wisdom is forbidden and no error punished except by laughter. Our many well-loved monarchs, kings, and emperors holding their inoffensive dream empires together simply by sitting still at their centers like queen bees, to be fed on royal jelly by wise magi, who then can draw from those princes’ fattened hearts the alphabet of all good things, Peace, Plenty, Justice, Delight, Wisdom, and Comfort. Mere signs, yes: but signs are food and nurture for us, they are in fact all the food and nurture that we need: all of us in here.
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Uh, Octaveaeon, Please don't reprint the label from Dr. Bonner's Catile Soap bottles, okay?
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Wow. Did they shoot the entire SFX wad in the trailer? What's left to see? The Empire State building getting shoved up the Statue of Liberty's ass? (sigh)
Yeah, I'll probably go see it, too... -
How about you make the arks about 1/4 the size or make room for thousands more people, ditch the giant fucking cranes and giraffes etc. and stock em up with a bunch of petri dishes. If we can build those ridiculous ships in 2012 we certainly have cloning down. Strangelove did end of the world the best, everything else is shite.
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So, of course, it will make a bazillion dollars.
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No-one makes hardcore blow em up, smash em up, thought provoking movies like this guy.
He's getting my $10.
For the sheer awesomeness of the trailer alone, I'm sold. -
You should watch this rendition of the trailer:
youtube . com / watch?v=BfqbzZaAI-s
Should suit your needs. ~_^ -
killed the fucking planet over and over all the people on earth would just kill themselves after a while. Let's see the earth has been decimated by alien invaders, it's been frozen over by freak weather/climate changes causing all the americans to flee to mexico. Then we had to witness pretty dreadlocked neanderthals walk around all day. Now the earth is finally coming to an end, what the fuck is Emmerich gonna do now? I think he's finally gonna make a movie where nothing explodes, and everyone has sex with each other. Or maybe people explode FOR having sex with each other!! I'm a genius!!
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I was going to say 2012: Megaship Vs. White House but I think this sums it up better.
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They spent plenty of time in the Vatican, and I saw a shot of Paris as well.
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to have on in the background while I steam clean my carpets. 65" of 1080p BluRay deliciousness with no need for dialogue or rapt attention on my part.
This will go nicely in the collection... -
I never thought about it that way but how hilarious would it be if all the Emmerich movies took place in the same Emmerichverse. Poor Emmerichians just can't catch a break... not with Emmerich for a god!
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I can see where the confusion would be
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This theory would also help to explain why the Mayan civilization is the Earth's oldest... It's taking place in the same timeline that gave us 10,000 BC
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Instead I just copied its very beginning - katabēn ("I went down...") - and reposted an excerpt of a book I had previously posted on another talkback. My original intention was to criticize the current eschatological fixation by bringing up how it all started in the first place, but decided to go with a quote from a book that I'd recently read that does this very well (though you'd have to read all five to understand why). Sorry for being so cryptic. But I thought it appropriate what with all the references to ancient mayan prophecies and the like. The reference to 'katabēn' alludes to the 'decent' that Plato takes the reader in the 'Republic' (and given dramatic shape in other dialogues). The point being that one is descending to the city/Hades/cave from a higher point where one is capable to glimpse 'how things are' thanks to the light of Truth. This "revelation" (apocalypse) is the quest that all of us in the city/Hades/cave in one way or another desire, but it is also this quest that became so dominant - though to various degrees - in Judaeo-Christian and Neo-platonic doctrines. But the point of the Platonic dialogues is to both awaken this quest and temper its desires at the same time, and this for moral and political reasons. And finally, I mention all this because I'm very annoyed at the whole cottage-industry that has been developing around all kinds of spurious apocalyptic prophecies.
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Sounds like your wit.
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mistake.
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Jun 18, 2009 10:41:09 PM CDT
No need to fret over climate change anymore here comes crustal d
by iluvsyfy
Roland must read some of the same scientific journals I do. I remember reading a few years back concerning the theory where the magnetic fields, earths core and the poles suddenly reverse in a few days (according to the researcher this has happened in earth's past)the crust meanwhile is pulled along unwillingly and the stress causes the earths fault lines to rupture creating massive tidal waves and like mag 10 earthquakes X 10 (similar to what Harry experiences when he masturbates and farts in his bathtub). Furthermore most volcanoes would erupt (thus sending the earth into a new ice age) and after all is said and done civilization will be pushed back to 10,000 BC. Which will in turn give the aliens the opportunity they have been looking for to invade. So I guess Roland's movies to cum around full circle.
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how the fuck can you prevent something like 2012? its like the older prediction ever. even older than the next coming of christ (as a jew, i don't believe in the latter, but as a human, i definitely believe in the former)
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Jun 18, 2009 10:58:25 PM CDT
if that actually happened, I'd be pissed about recycling...
by badmrwonka
years of wasting time segmenting and organizing shit...going out of my way to keep plastic bottles in my car until I found a bun...even my food waste going into a separate stinky container...honestly, as soon as I saw the first fissure, or the first tidal wave, that's what I'd be thinking:"FUCK!! All that time wasted on recycling!! That's like 2 days more I could have been playing Call of Duty!!"
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It would've made a killing by filling the big action movie void between Star Trek and Transformers 2 which T4 didn't do.
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to release it, like say in the year 2012? They could at least improve on the effects a bit by that time.
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is one of the main reasons Hollywood continues to suck. He trots out this unbelievably bad dreck, and the viewers go give them their money, story be damned. But it's got great CGI, big f'n whoop. The guy can't write, or direct, but the effects are great! Terrible movie maker, just waiting for the sheep to come to the slaughter, and fill the coffers of incompetant Hollyshit yes men, and continue the malaise that we all see, yr. after yr....
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Spielberg, Lucas, Ridley Scott, Kevin Smith, Emmerich, Bay... why does every director get worse and worse? how does that happen? its bizarre.
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Pearl Harbor came out in theaters the summer before 9/11.
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they get families, kids, wives and they become domesticated...neutered...their souls die
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decommissioned last year and is currently in mothballs in Phili naval yard. By 2012 she will be being either scrapped or turned into a floating museum. Never would any US carrier have the name painted on the deck in this fashion either. Come on, it would seem a few minutes doing some research on Google would be in order before spending millions on a retarded effects shot. Cusack must have a huge balloon mortgage payment due to be in this retard shitfest.
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....no nazi parabol there either.
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In a parallel Earth to ours, the Earth is being totally destroyed, by Asteroids, aliens and climate change (yes all at the same time). A group of survivors 10,000 or so have found a way to come across to our Earth, a doorway of sorts.
They are uncertain about whether or to not to cross the threshold, but they only have a short time left before their Earth is destroyed.
They enter the portal, as they come through they are scattered across the globe, for instance one arriving in Central Park, one in Shibuya, Tokyo, and even some in the ocean. We start to see realise though that the people that went through the portal are different, changed somehow. They have in fact become exploding zombies.
With 10,000 zombies on our planet all producing an explosion of a small nuke, who who will stop them, who will save our Earth?
Roland still not hooked, then quite simply there will be a sh#tload of explosions and total destruction, not just one Earth being destroyed, but two !!! -
The one man who can make a difference.
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will secretly be behind Earth's ass-fuck come 2012? leaving it what to govern in the end... an ark with a couple of giraffes and John Cusack?
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Emmerich is a hack of highest order, but that trailer looks like the stupid fun movies he used to do best. Like Universal Soldier, Stargate and Independence Day.
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Dec. 20th 2012...let the Looting, raping and general debauchery begin. Fuck..ya know making a movie about that would have been a lot more entertaining and thought provoking (The choices people make when faced with certain oblivion) than yet another tired disaster flick.Or you could just film a documentary on the typical Los Angeles Lakers fan after a Championship win...End of the World/Basketball Championship...it all leads to looting and raping.
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I actually had a pretty long-running thread on IMDB regarding a comment shouted out during my screening of ID4 on opening day (well, morning, actually - the 6AM showing). Just after "JULY 3RD" appears, and the scene fades up from black showing NYC in ruins, with the Statue of Liberty lying on her side, some wag shouted at the top of his lungs, "THOSE DAMNED, DIRTY APES!". The packed house burst out into the most prolonged belly laughs I've EVER heard in a theatre, even surpassing the hair gel scene in "Something About Mary" and the extended, erm, cockfight in "Borat". High-larious.
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apply logic to an Emmerich movie? Why even waste your time? We will find unicorn shit before we can find anything resembling logic (or a good script for that matter) in a fucking Emmerich movie...
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I think I just threw up in my mouth.
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that was very rude i happen to like ID4, except for the virus bit. and the hair gel scene was so unexpected just like Susan Boils performance which is why it was funny
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because their bitches become ungrateful
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you know nothing of logic you dumb-minded buffoon
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Yeah, I'm late to the game but who cares?Haven't seen the last Emmerich crapfests but this really looks kinda cool.
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I saw him too.
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what if 2012 turns out to be better than AVATAR, just sayin.
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Hey, I'm posting on AICN. So yeah, I'm here to waste my time.
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but not a funny one
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southafricanguy is a jokeeeeeeeee
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haha
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Well, that explains Lucas (the soulless bastard), but Emmerich has pretty much always sucked. He's the Uwe Bol of big-budget movies. Only, the great mystery isn't how he keeps making movies, but rather why they keep making money.
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shut up retard. Lucas is the man!
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Stargate was certainly NOT a stupid fun movie. the movie had an impact on many lives, so much so, that im surprised you failed to recognize it. go do your homework and see what kind of impact im talking about.
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you are
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Lets hope it's better than both of those turds.
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I bet you get a little excited when you see Roland's name, "stargate sequel...please"
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theres already a sequel planned, its a question of when. now go back reading ur shittyass foreign philosophy nonesence
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It's a big stupid movie about blowing shit up. If you like shit being blown up, this film is for you. If you don't like shit being blown up, this film is NOT for you.
Plus... Oliver Platt? Comedy gold, I'm there.
Oh, and Con Air was _awesome_. -
I'd cheer if Danny Glover finally got his head out of his ass, and during the movie there was a scene where he gets a call from Hugo Chavez in Venezuela looking for a seat on the Space Ark. At which point President Glover says "Are you kidding me? You're exactly the kind of asshole that should become extinct. Besides, you're so fucking fat, you'd only weigh down the ship. Enjoy the tidal wave, Hugo!"
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Jun 19, 2009 2:32:27 AM CDT
Dear Marketing Fucks: Way to go revealing a big SPOILER!
by big dumb ape
And will someone tell me why -- WHY?!? -- did they give away the BIG plot twist for the end of this movie in the fucking TRAILER? About the ships the government has secretly been building to save part of the human race so the species can survive? NICE GOING ONCE AGAIN, BRAINLESS MARKETING PEOPLE. You could have just played up the disaster stuff...gotten people excited...and made everyone WONDER how the people in this thing could possibly survive so much shit being tossed at them. But you didn't have to fucking spell it out and REVEAL it.Also, now that we have this and it's plot/ending...and if GI JOE really is as big a turd as inside reports say it is...I guess this means the big budget Stephen Sommers directed/Steven Spielberg produced remake of WHEN WORLDS COLLIDE is now officially shit canned.
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are quite appealing. May make this crap-fest bearable as a rental.
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just kidding...........does look fun though.
And those tidal waves scare the shit out of me. -
Jun 19, 2009 2:50:56 AM CDT
Well in 2012 - Willow Palin will be legal or close enough
by miyamoto_musashi
So nothing to worry about there, will be a great way to go out.
December 22nd arrives...."oh sh#t" -
I like Emmerich movies, you know what you're getting (spectacle and mindless entertainment) got my 10 bucks!
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You don't need, or expect them to be good. Like a 70s kung fu flick, you expect nothing from it but cheesy, corny, mindless entertainment. And no matter how many times you've seen these movies, and groaned at them, you still inexplicably find yourself sitting all the way through it on a sunday afternoon on TBS. It's the sort of thing you're always in the mood for.
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Jun 19, 2009 3:22:08 AM CDT
Aw fuck that looks like some hell-a-sweet goofy shit...
by burnhollywood
...And best of all, the right-wingers can't take your shit-getting-smashed-up buzz away like they did whining about the daffy-but-entertaining DAY AFTER TOMORROW.
(Waah! Global Climate Change ain't real! Limbaugh sez so, and if you can't trust a drug addict, who can you trust?!).
No political message here, except...SHOULDA LISTENED TO TH' MAYANS! -
is that it didn't have some bullshit, deus ex machina against-all-odds to save us all. You kept expecting it to show up, and then they were like 'yeah, that idea I had about going underground? that won't work, they're no escaping this, we're all going to die.' And then they did. And aliens came to help us....and they were like 'yeah...we've got awesome technology but really...we can't stop shit like that, grab a fucking bunny rabbit or a cat or something and get in the ship.'
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Independance Day was the Citizen Kane of corny disaster flicks. It had Bill Pullman as the President, Robert Loggia as the secretary of defense, and Jeff Fucking Goldblum swaggering around like his dick weighs ten pounds. Will Smith punched out an Alien then smoked a cigar. This movie is a masterpiece of retarded filmmaking, how can you not love it?
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L, as in 'Loggia'. O, as in 'Oh my God, it's Robert Loggia...
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This trailer gave me goosebumps, and I was only watching it on a 12" laptop. Can't imagine the impact when this baby hits theatres. GREAT visuals, GREAT fx. Very impressive. Good job Roland. I'm sold.
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Me, I'll be on a huge fucking boat loaded with whores and drugs, laughing at all you fools drowning. And no you ain't getting on. It's for me and my salty crew of cock hungry bitches. Might be a problem when all the booze has ran out, but what the hell, I'm going out in style, shooting my jizz all the way.
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Jun 19, 2009 5:08:07 AM CDT
We know it's in the future cos the president is bla-- Oh!
by benbraddock
Wait a minute..
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I fucking hate Fox, fucking hate em to death. I picked up that retard classic on Blu only to discover that the WARNING sticker saying the movie was PS3 compatible wasn't a sticker but printed on the cover. Do I look like a fucking jerk, that's why I picked the fucking thing up in the first place. Actually I must be a jerk for admitting to owning ID4. Forget everything I said and move along quietly.
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WE FIGHT BACK! Fucking aliens from Planet X, bunch of pussies. Fuck em. Fuck em in the ass.
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The day after tomorrow is Sunday. Holy Fuck. Now it all makes sense.
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Monday. This just keeps getting weirder.
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I am in constant contact with our brothers and sisters on our original home world Nibiru and they say they're all looking forward to seeing us all again in 2012. They also told me that they're huge fans of aintitcool talkbackers and would love to hear from them. Please foward your texts and emails telepathically to "nibiru.aintitcoolfans@planetx.cock"
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Was the worst piece of shit movie I think I have ever seen. I really wanted to buy the DVD and burn it, just to save some hapless soul from its permeating stink!
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Wow. First trailer? I was totally geeked. I loved the bell and the temple and the waves...
This trailer? First reaction is why November and not July? Second reaction? I can't sit and watch such misery in November. November's a bleak enough month without watching the world be destroyed. And is there no hope?? Independence Day was destruction with hope and that plays. Miserable destruction with no hope? In November? I'd rather see some movie about a talking reindeer. -
... that I won't be standing on 5th Avenue on Dec. 21st, 2012, watching a 747 and a tidal wave destroy the Empire State building and screaming 'ROLAND EMMERICH WAS RIGHT!!!!".
Cause that would suck. -
"So does this mean the Mayans really are the oldest civilization?!?"
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Seriously... It's just going to be a bunch of stupid eye candy with nothing and no one to care about... YAWN!
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No... That actually looks worth watching!
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Here's a suggestion for you prbt, how about a movie bout shit blowing up, but with an intelligent script where you actually care about the shit being blown up.
Guarentee all we see for 2hrs is a bunch of CGI people and things being mashed up, which you actually don't give a second thought about...
What a waste! -
I am there, but I am not expecting an award winning movie. That teaser trailer, by the way, with its Shining music was fucking awesome.
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Way to go! So more of this mindless $hit gets made...
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OH SHIT, I COULD BARELY TYPE THAT WHILE KEEPING A STRAIGHT FACE. IF WE HAVE TO HAVE EMMERICH TURN THIS GREAT PREMISE INTO GARBAGE..... CANT WE HAVE JEFF GOLDBLUM AND RANDY QUAID ALSO. MAYBE, JIM CAVAZIEL WITH A CAMEO AS JESUS AS HE COMES DOWN TO RESCUE MEL GIBSON BEFORE DESTROYING THE EARTH.
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"Oldest" is not the same as "first". Sumerians aren't the "oldest" civilization, because they're DEAD. "Oldest" civilization presumes it still exists.
As I said above, there is an argument that the Mayans are the oldest. It may be the Chinese though, it's hard to say for sure. -
Because that movie fucking sucks. I heard the story of the Sony Execs who were watching the film for the first time. Some one in the screening room said they were passing notes that said stuff like "we're fucked, this will bomb".
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go there for all the answers. nancy will show you the truth.
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Been there, done that...and yeah, it was Roland Emmerich that took me there...twice now. This dude needs to get some originality. It's only fun to watch the world get destroyed so many times before it gets boring.
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Mayan "prophecy" thing, are truly deluded, and borderline crazy. Even more so than the people who believe in an invisible sky-daddy or a benevolent zombie who'll save them.
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Now that's what I call a close encounter.
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Well, you have Cusack, who is a self-proclaimed communist, and Glover, who loves communism as well, so my guess is the 'message' of this movie will be that once again 'America Bad, Bad Stuff All America Fault, Everybody Die Because of America Again', which is too bad.
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There was no brain dead movies yet this summer? Are you fucking kidding me you fat idiot?
How about you'll see me there opening day stinking drunk with a sucking chest wound you fucker? -
I'll have me one of those with fries :)
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I was on that aircraft carrier. Strange how it is sitting in Phialdelphia now decommissioned.
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Let's see, total world fucking destruction except for the one family that must stay together. All of Roland's movies are the same. Kick-ass special effects, outrageous destruction. He kill world real good. Terrible "character moments," poorly written cardboard cut-out, stilted dialogue characters. 15 minutes of complete epic total and complete annihilation of planet earth, two hours of bad soap opera. Still, I'll be there, that shit looks cool! LOL
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...sheeeet...Socialized healthcare? Gay Marriage? Open Borders? Welfare state? That ain't baby-shit compared to what this guy's done!
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As long as they don't use any shaky-cam so I can actually see how good the CG work is, I'll be content on that score. But if this turns out to be yet another bash-Bush/capitalism is the root of all evil preachy big steaming pile then I'll give it a resounding F. Of course they're already predicting shit like Obama will still be in the White House when this all goes down. In that regard I can say that it'll be all his fault because he keeps running around thinking he's the president of the world. I used to kill flies with rubber bands from 4 feet away so you'll pardon me if I'm not impressed, Mr. President.
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Roland's films are missing so many elements, but his films are so visual you have to see them in the theatre... that sucks... he should get some lessons from Steve.
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Love it love it love it! Even if the story bites, this is some eye candy I can really get behind!!!
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I hope Roland Emmerich's house gets destroyed in an epic landslide. Maybe that will feed is earth destruction fetish. But really, his movies are so cheesey.
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John Cusack is the star. Damn him! Damn him straight to hell!
And what's with the Kennedy hate? Is Roland a stinking crypto-fascist?
That last is a joke, by the way. -
You know, the evil God that was worshipped by the true first civilizations...
Now choose! -
that THIS was Roland Emmerich's new film..
http://i920.photobucket.com/albums/ad49/j00sy/prideinvite.jpg?t=1245425197 -
http://tinyurl.com/lj2ezx
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Jun 19, 2009 10:42:27 AM CDT
That trailer was the stupidest fucking thing I've ever seen!
by snake foreskin
Oooohhh, they destroyed the Vatican! Oooohhh, where's God to save us? Of course he's nowhere to be found. God doesn't exist, right? Hollywood knows that better than anyone!
Instead of The Day After Tomorrow, which rammed human-induced global warming and climate change down our throats, 2012 is all about the futility of religious belief! In the end, don't look to God for help - because only man can save man!
Oooohhh, did you see the irony of the US Warship taking out the White House? I guess American politicians get what's coming to them for being such bullies. Puh-leaze.
And making Danny Glover the US president is the funniest thing I've ever seen! Roland Emmerich must really hate America. Why didn't he just cast Hugo Chavez as our president? Oh, I get it. Oliver Platt is supposed to play Chavez! Does Chavez end up saving the human race? With Ahmadinejad's help, of course. And Fidel Castro!
They all fund the humanitarian mission to Mars, or whatever the fuck idiocy this movie has decided to try and ram down our throats. What a pile of garbage. Count me the fuck out. You idiots go have yourselves a gay old time at the movies. -
Need to see destruction in glorious HD Quick Time now!
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Jun 19, 2009 10:55:11 AM CDT
All the destruction you need is happening right here!
by snake foreskin
The destruction of Roland Emmerich's career. Of course, that's been an ongoing event. The guy's filmmaking cred is about as respectable as David Carradine with a twelve year old Thai hooker and a bungie cord.
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The big metal looking structure? What the hell is that? It looks ominous.
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Jun 19, 2009 11:17:20 AM CDT
It's the dildo Roland Emmerich uses to pleasure himself
by snake foreskin
on set. He also has been known to invite friends over for a little "monolithic orgy action". These friends include, but are not limited to: Danny Glover, John Cusack, Oliver Platt, Jeff Goldblum, Bill Pullman, Will Smith and Harvey Feirstein.
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That would fall in line with Roland's penchant for large metallic dildos. And those orgies on-set are lovingly referred to as peccadildos.
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There's an HD option underneath
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Gee, what doesn't offend you cunts these days? Fuck off Snake Foreskin.
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Why else would he continue to destroy the White House? He's obviously a terrorist.
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Jun 19, 2009 12:25:14 PM CDT
Because this is the kind of money shot-laden, brain-dead fun thi
by quentintarantado
Brain dead entertainment will be served up soon in spades. Transformers 2 a-comin'!
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Could have sworn I saw the Poseidon floating around in a shot. Oh yeah...nothing like total destruction to make you pay 12 bucks. I'm there...with my SCUBA gear too.
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Just watched the trailer, no thank you. WTF happened to John Cusack?
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Jun 19, 2009 1:31:54 PM CDT
Hey man, I can't help it if you can't handle the truth!
by snake foreskin
The dude is a fuckin' hack who has made a career out of turning out shite films that nowadays contain the tritest and most ridiculous of liberal sentiments.
It is beyond offensive to anyone with a modicum of brainpower - not just "right-wingers" like myself. And it isn't about politics. Most of Emmerich's films are offensive to people with good taste. Apparently that segment of the population isn't well-represented on AICN.
By all means, throw your money away on this crapfest. Knock yourself out. But I call it like I see it. It's a lowest-common-denominator night at the movies, with anti-American, anti-Religious sentiment generously sprinkled throughout.
If that gets your rocks off, more power to ya'. It just says a lot about you. -
"HOLY FUCK" at least 5 times watching this trailer. That was amazing. I'm there.
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Jun 19, 2009 4:44:15 PM CDT
It's not just the Mayans who predict 2012 as the end of days...
by zombieheathledger
...it's also the I-Ching and the Sybelline Prophecies all point to 2012. Just sayin'... I liked the trailer but I think he kinda beat us over the head with the religious symbolism, the crack between God and Man Michaelangelo fresco, the crumbling Vatican, the crumbling Jesus, etc... We get it, we get it...
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Join the "Drag Me To Hell" talkback!
http://tinyurl.com/ll7s4p
http://www.aintitcool.com/talkback_display/40453
(remove the AICN spaces) -
civilization... the trailer specifically uses the word "earliest", so the semantics game is over, and all the eyes that saw those words before releasing this thing on the world officially belong to morons...
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Maybe she's the one who causes the end of the world. I think that's quite probable, considering the shit she took all over the audience in "Away With Me" or whatever that damn hipster libby-lib shitfest was called.
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Jun 19, 2009 5:50:28 PM CDT
That's right Gwai Lo. I rolled my eyes when I saw that.
by snake foreskin
Of course, I was rolling my eyes many times during that trailer. Like I said, it is for the lowest common denominator. Who the hell needs facts or logic? Roland Emmerich wrote a screenplay where the end of the world comes in epic CGI goodness, AND it makes religious believers look like a bunch of morons. Why do things like correct facts matter?
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Everything offends those hillbillies... everything except anonymous, public men's room, gay, gloryhole sex that is.
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I remember learning about Sumer and Babylonia and all that jazz in grade school. Movie trailers have to be approved by how many people before they're released? No one caught that? And yet we caught it in an AICN talkback within a few minutes? Shameful, really. Apparently research for this movie consisted of reading the dust cover of a Graham Hancock book.
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Jun 19, 2009 6:00:17 PM CDT
Roland Emmerich = Resident Evil. Coincidence? I think not!
by snake foreskin
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but I just wanted to pour one out for my homie Chiwetel Ejiofor, who after an Oscar worthy performance in Redbelt is now yelling a line like "DONT PEOPLE HAVE THE RIGHT TO FIGHT FOR THEIR LIVES?!" in a Roland Emmerich movie
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to exist in the "New World". Which, of course, would fly in the face of calling claiming the Mayans to be the oldest, since you'd have to look to the "Old World" for the oldest civilization. Bottom line: Roland Emmerich and his merry band of village idiots fit right in with today's dumbed-down civilization. Way to go, Roland, you mental midget.
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now that's kinda sad. When the plane touched down and the car just drove/flew out of the plane, that's when I said, "Enough is enough!" and clicked back to this page. oh well.
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Jun 19, 2009 6:08:25 PM CDT
Yes, he might as well be singing in Kinky Boots again.
by snake foreskin
Or appearing in another Joss Whedon crapfest. Chewitel, what the Eljiadothatfor?
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... seemed interesting. Couldn't get through 2 pages before breaking out in sneering laughter. Remember the good old days when nutbags like Hancock (appropriate name, btw), Whitley Strieber, Eric Von Daniken, David Icke (another ironically appropriate name!) were all drooling homeless idiots jabbering nonsense as they shambled down the street in the Bowery?
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Jun 19, 2009 6:13:27 PM CDT
Is it just me, or does Roland sound EXACTLY like Yul Brenner?
by snake foreskin
Isn't that weird? I want to hear him say, "So it shall be written, so it shall be done!" Make it so!
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Maybe it has to do with the end of the world in 2012! Maybe the end of the world is coming early! Look out, everyone, the end of the world is coming Monday! On TLC!
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He's like Glen Ford; I was sure he had died decades ago. Man, talk about out of sight, out of mind. Next will be Dan Rather. Of course, he isn't quite out of sight, but he's definitely out of his mind!
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I read a whole Graham Hancock book once, "Fingerprints of the Gods". It was like 400 pages, too. Not quite as far out there as the Icke and Daniken I tried to read. He's not saying that we came from lizard men or anything. Of course, I read it as amusingly delusional fiction a la Dan Brown, not as historical fact.
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They did it for the children!!!!
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Jun 19, 2009 6:31:50 PM CDT
DON'T NOBODY TALK SHIT ABOUT PRESIDENT ROGER MURTAUGH
by ayatollahsexyback
Roger Dodger?
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And pack your skull wif popcorn
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We can all stand to enjoy some major onscreen apocalyptic action. Life is short, and our planet is fragile. Our time on this rock is but a blink in eternity's eye. Let us join together and do what's right for each other. Okay?
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Get a camera, dude. If you can make that crazy $#!# you described above, you have my ten bucks!
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Did it say "Earliest"? My bad. I could've sworn it said "Oldest". There is no argument for "Earliest" for the Mayans.
As for the nutbags like Von Daniken, Hancock, etc., their spiritual successors are the Planet X nutjobs and the faked moon landing people. -
I only noticed when I went back to rewatch (not sure why I did that.) You probably thought it said oldest because everyone in the talkback was misquoting it as that. It's the earliest civilization for Americans who don't realize a world exists outside the Americas, maybe.
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These are just gore porn flicks on a big scale, same as any other disaster movie. Rewatching ID4 right now. Wow this sucker doesn't hold up at all.
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in these disaster movies. The Dome of the Rock would look pretty cool getting destroyed. Hey, if you're gonna whack the Vatican, turnabout is fairplay, right? I guess producers are afraid of the Muslim protests like that Dutch newspaper that ran a cartoon of the Prophet Mohammed a few years back. Ahlalalalalalalalalalalala!
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The Dome of the Rock could be sent tumbling down smashing through the Western Wall. Two religions pissed off with one stone.
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All the better!
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"You ain't shootin' that Planet Earth shit at me!"
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Don't even go there DellsDontBounce.
Don't do it! What do YOU think Pal could do with 100 million.He would make Emmerich look like the fool that he is! What a remark!!! -
I mean come on, we know its going to be a crap story, bad dialog and lousy acting - but holy hand grenade those effects are the wonder of life! Looks fantastic - that is one movie you have to watch on a huuuuuge screen!
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http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/filmnetwork/A25940531
This is something I made some years ago, there's a feature script also...not a happy ending. -
This Movie looks Awesome!
I Cannot Wait! XD
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