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Mr. Beaks Looks Forward to Roland Emmerich's Splendidly Stupid 2012
SPOILER ALERT !!
I bear Roland Emmerich no ill will. Without him, AICN wouldn't have its wonderful 'splodin' backdrop, humans wouldn't be able to outrun a cold snap, and mankind... (pause for emphasis) "mankind"... that word wouldn't have new meaning for all of us today. Emmerich has given us so very much. By brazenly melding the disaster cinema of Irwin Allen with the awe-for-awe's-sake aesthetic of 80s-era Amblin, the German-born auteur turned himself into a sort of substitute Spielberg. Visually, he's proven an astute mimic; storywise, he's demonstrated an impressive knack for pacing and an astonishing lack of shame.
At this point, there's no use kicking up a fuss over Emmerich's lobotomized brand of science-fiction; though he's clearly playing up worst-case ecological/astronomical scenarios to make hay at the box office, at least he's doing so with films that evince all the intellectual rigor of THE SWARM*. Like Allen, Emmerich is more about spectacle than audience empathy; just as THE TOWERING INFERNO is about a big fucking building that catches fire (as opposed to exploiting one's fear of getting stuck in a blazing high-rise), THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW is - Stanley Kramer moralizing aside - about Manhattan getting clobbered by a tsunami and subsequently frozen within twenty-four hours. In a way, Emmerich doesn't make films as much as he strings together f/x money shots; if you accept that when you hand over your jacked-up admission, you really can't feel burned when, say, an invading alien race is undone by its preference for Apple computers.
That said, all Roland Emmerich pictures are not created equal. Though he appears to have been disabused of his lofty artistic aspirations, he can still miss the populist mark at seemingly point blank range: e.g. GODZILLA reinvents when it should be stealing wholesale, while 10,000 BC plays like a sexually incurious fourteen-year-old's remake of ONE MILLION YEARS B.C. (which presumably sold in the room as "Camilla Belle in a loincloth"). So while it appears that he rediscovered his disaster flick swagger with THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW, another trip to the end-days well still stands a fifty-percent chance of yielding the next WHEN TIME RAN OUT. I mean, you can only hand the Earth its swiftly tilting ass so many times in so many ways.
Not to worry. Whatever Emmerich's and Harald Kloser's screenplay for 2012 lacks in originality, it more than makes up for in rampant imbecility. Forget comparisons to the oeuvre of Irwin Allen, 2012 is the silliest script I've read since Louis C.K.'s POOTIE TANG IN SINE YOUR PITTY ON THE RUNNY KINE. It's like a vintage ZAZ spoof Brundled with a latter day Michael Crichton novel - better yet, call it the $200 million realization of THAT'S ARMAGEDDON (sans Donald Sutherland as "The Clumsy Waiter"). It's unwitting self-parody on par with BLESS THE BEASTS AND THE CHILDREN. In fact, it's so outlandishly sappy, Barry De Vorzon will have no choice but to come out of retirement and score this ode to mush-headed liberal earnestness.
Again, I say this with all due respect. No one in this town is blessed with Emmerich's billion-dollar gift for devising fast-developing clusterfucks. And, in terms of narrative efficacy, he's refined his game: whereas INDEPENDENCE DAY ambles toward near-obliteration over a few days, 2012 sprints into the shit over the course of ten piddling pages. The first few minutes are dedicated to the 2009 discovery of piping hot neutrinos microwaving the Earth's core after a particularly violent solar storm; this alarms one of the President's wet-behind-the-ears scientific advisors, Adrian Helmsley (Chiwetel Ejiofor), but underwhelms cold-brewed chief-of-staff Carl Anheuser (?), who sagely suggests a head-in-the-sand approach to the impending planetary disaster.
Next, we're at the Spain-hosted G8 Summit in 2010. Despite Anheuser's expedient policy of avoidance, the Earth's problems have not abated. As a) this is a Hollywood movie, and b) the President is a black (revealed in a total "Holy shit, it's Henry Fonda!" moment), we quickly conclude that c) the planet is fucked beyond belief. Thankfully, said President, Thomas F. "Goldie" Wilson (Danny Glover) confirms this for us when he bluntly informs the G8 delegates that "The world as we know it will soon come to an end."
CUT TO: TIBET!
Monks and stuff are being displaced so that construction can commence on "the biggest dam project in the world". Spoiler: they're not building a dam.
Then comes 2011. Not a whole lot happens here. A rich Saudi prince makes nebulous arrangements with an MI-6 agent for his "very big family"; meanwhile, at the Louvre, the Mona Lisa is socked away for safe keeping.
At last, we move to 2012, where we're introduced to the Los Angeles-based hero of this shit-gone-bad yarn, Jackson Curtis (prepare for sadness: John Cusack). Jackson is a barely published science-fiction novelist of thirty-three who's preparing for a Yellowstone getaway with his kids Noah (ten-years-old and mouthy) and Lilly (seven-years-old and kinda likable); it's Jackson's latest attempt to reconnect with his spawn, who are living comfortably with their mother, Kate (Amanda Peet), and her new husband, a cash-flush plastic surgeon named Gordon (more sadness: THE WIRE star and STATION AGENT director Thomas McCarthy).
When Jackson reaches Yellowstone in under a day with the kids (making Burt Reynolds time in the limousine Jackson drives for his Russian "businessman" boss, Yuri), he finds that the entire park is closed off due to a massive geological study into the sudden draining of a rather large lake. Jackson, being the inquisitive sort, goes all Roy Neary and pokes around the area until he's apprehended by the government authorities, who hand him over to Helmsley. Any potential hostilities between the two saintly gentlemen are defused when it turns out that Helmsley is reading Jackson's poor-selling novel. They share a moment. A little later, Jackson encounters an Art Bell-type radio host (Oliver Platt, I'm guessing) who gives him the nutjob version of what's doin' in Yellowstone: the government is analyzing the effects of the speedily overheating core, which is about to set off a cataclysmic phenomenon called "earth crust displacement" aka "off-the-richter-scale earthquakes". While Jackson's getting up to speed on the fast-approaching chaos (which, according to the unhinged broadcaster, has hastened the building of ark-like spaceships), Westwood gets fissured but good by a sustained tremor. Before Jackson can glean more info from his crackpot, functionally alcoholic buddy, he's got to hightail it back home to make sure his ex-wife and her asshole new husband survived the quake.
As is often the case in a Roland Emmerich screenplay, there's a good deal of crosscutting between the official and the human perspective - and while you know you're being crassly manipulated, you go with it because you're eager to see if the spectacle-mad filmmaker has the stones to go all the way with a doomsday scenario for once. For a while, I was completely unmoved by the plight of Jackson and his splintered family; then I envisioned Cusack glumly slumming his way through this nonsense next July 10th and wept uncontrollably for hours. Once I came to grips with a puffy-faced Lloyd Dobler cashing a seven-figure paycheck so that he might make another GROSSE POINTE BLANK (or even another WAR INC., which I just watched the other day and didn't hate), I pressed on into the mayhem-packed second act, where Emmerich thrills the reader with not one, not two, but three narrow escapes from disintegrating runways.
The narrative gets a bit crevasse-happy for a good forty pages while several major cities (Los Angeles, Las Vegas and Washington D.C.) get reduced to rubble; we also get two sequences in which amateur pilot Gordon must navigate toppling skyscrapers directly after takeoff. In the meantime, President Wilson opts out of his spot on Air Force One, preferring to go down with the vestiges of civilization at the White House (which gets demolished by a tsunami carrying the USS John F. Kennedy). This leaves Anheuser in command of... very little, really, but he entertainingly runs what's left of the country with an avowedly racist zeal (the height of his George Wallace act being the moment he cruelly informs Helmsley that his White House gig was an affirmative action sop).
In case you're keeping score, that's the decimation of civilization by a) earthquakes, b) tidal waves, and c) one very nasty volcanic eruption (from that dried-up Yellowstone lake, natch). The last hope for the survivors is mainland China, where the "arks" are being populated with rich folk and two of each animal species. Jackson and his brood hop a chartered jet with his Russian boss, who's either lovably pragmatic or loathsomely cutthroat; once they hit the snowbound remains of Asia, the latter nature seems to assert itself. There are other characters, other kids and a cute little dog that figure into the dire drama, and if you're up on your Emmerich, you should know where they're all headed. If I've any serious complaint about the screenplay, it's that the action of the final third is centered on a lot of people trying not to drown. This works for James Cameron and pretty much no one else.
Will our dramatis personae make it to the Tibetan-built spaceships on time? Is there a big ol' perception shift that might subvert something in the previous sentence? Can Emmerich successfully lean on Glover to get Harry Belafonte cast as the character of "Harry", aka the elderly musician father of Ejiofor's aide? I hate myself for obsessing over such inanities, but Emmerich and Kloser are master bullshit artists, and, man, do they lay it on with the thickness and confidence of seasoned hacks. They've a system and a set of obligatory scenes, and they redeploy the latter cleverly enough to keep you reading even after you've dismissed the whole endeavor on page two.
This is far more difficult than it sounds (and much less honorable than I'm willing to admit at the moment). This is also the ne plus ultra of Roland Emmerich's career. If you were thrilled by THE TOWERING INFERNO... if you were terrified by EARTHQUAKE... then you will be scared shitless by the Sony Pictures Entertainment production of 2012.
Faithfully submitted,
Mr. Beaks
*Not a knock on the actual quality of THE SWARM, which is indisputably one of the greatest films ever made.
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That sounds splendidly retarded.
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Now I'm somewhat interested. The sheer stupidy that Beeks wrote of makes this movie a must see while loaded.
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Jul 07, 2008 3:57:50 AM CDT
President "Goldie" Wilson? Like the sound of that....
by subliminaljones
And to think his political ambitions sprang from a simple slip of the tounge by Marty McFly back in that malt shop in 1955. First mayor of Hill Valley, now President. Well done, sir.
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Emmerich rules! This sounds awesome!
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...or is it?
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Is it alright if I don't care about this? It sounds quite boring. It sounds beyond boring... I honestly don't care for it. If someone tells me something exciting about an 'end of the world' movie, I'll gladly give them a moment of my time. But I'm really pretty tired of them.
Unless everyone keeps saying "What's happening?" Now that's entertainment... -
Well played, sir.
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was the 'goldie' wilson joke yours or their's Harry. Nice to see Amanda Peet slumming it again after Studio 60's inexplicable demise.
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Jul 07, 2008 4:22:57 AM CDT
Curious that the wrenching spectacle of 9/11 ...
by no respectable gentleman
... didn't make Hollywood think twice about BLOWING THINGS UP for entertainment.
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Thank you Mr Beaks for allowing us to watch the directors cut of 2012 at the end of the article. Although at 2:16 it was far too long!
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I was hoping for a polar shift change at least. thats fucking LAME.
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Lloyd Dobbler, his newly re-singled ex wife, and their brood of annoying child actors, all hop aboard the S.S. Ark, fly into space, discover a warm hole, go back in time, and land smack dab onto some prehistoric mud house, in the middle of a Mayan village. They teach the natives about pyrmaids, and building things, advancing our technology to the point where after thousands and thousands of years we have destroyed the planet all over again, and people have to escape the earthquakes, and the volcanos, and the tsunamis, by flying away in large spaceships (maybe one's even called the S.S. Ark) that have warp drives, and discover worm holes, and then go back in time, and land smack dab in the middle of...
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........this shit.
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you know what i´m sayin?
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It's funny 'cause it's sad.
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So right after Klaatu tells us to take better care of the Earth, the Earth up and destroys us anyway. Ain't that the way.
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Seriously.
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REVIEWED HERE BY THE MOST ARTICULATE WRITER ON AICN, APPARENTLY.
p.s. fuck off Emmerich and stick your patronising, moronic, juvenile steaming piles of shit back up your arse. -
It's time for an Eskimo president in the Hollywood White House -- President Lou Diamond Phillips
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For giving us these old-style Allen style throwbacks, I love 'em. Yep, story-wise they're nothing to write home about (just A.I.C.N.) but when it comes to heavy duty cinematic visual spectacle, the fella always delivers my needs. Keep pumping 'em out, I'll keep spending my cash to see em on the big screen.
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Never has there been a more shameless collection of slumming actors in one gigantic, fiery explosion of a movie than Con Air. It's so awful and unwatchable that it's utterly compelling. I own the unrated version and watch it frequently.
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I HATE kids and dogs, especially when combined in a PG-13 crapfest directed by such a moron like Emmerich.Great article, btw! I laughed my ass off!
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apparantly a still from independence day. see here: http://tinyurl.com/63hnnq
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All his films are shit.10,000 BC is the 2nd worst movie next to Pluto Nash ive ever seen...EVER!!
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Wonder if he will try to pass a bill that would convert the United States into a communist gulag. Viva la moron! Now fuck off!
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I remember, in the weeks after the 9/11/01 attacks, people saying that reality TV shows were dead because watching the Twin Towers fall was the REAL reality TV. Then by November, The Osbournes premiered on MTV, and became immensely popular for a while.So the return of disaster flicks a few years later isn't really all that surprising.
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I posted a message 6 months ago saying it was going to be tectonic plates / mayan calendar. Sigh. Hollywood's running out of disaster options.
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Holy crap, is that for real? Is Glover's character supposed to, unofficially, be the same as Mayor "Goldie" Wilson from Back to the Future? (And, furthermore, actor Thomas F. Wilson played Biff in Back to the Future!)
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1) Yellowstone is a big super volcano. If it ever went off...well...we'd be fucked 2) Global Crust Displacement was a hypothesis kicked around to explain the sudden end of the ice age...basically the great imbalanced caused by the trillions of tons of ice caused the lithosphere to slip over the soft aesthenosphere, essentially causing the crust to "slip" like an orange peel slipping on top of an orange. This is a favorite theory of people who believe the "Atlantis is in Antarctica" idea, since it conveniently explains why a civilization could be possible there...it wasn't always that far south. On a side note, the Space Arks kinda remind me of that old 50s B-movie that got roasted on MST3k...remember the Earth was gonna collide with a rogue planet, but there was a 2nd planet that could support life and they made big rockets to bring them there?
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You watch, he WILL be President, and when he is, he's going to CLEAN UP this planet!
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... start shamelessly marketing his movies as comedies?
I must confess that the only Emmerich I really like is Godzilla, and that's why it was clearly thought as comedy with comedians (Broderick, Reno, Shearer, Azaria) in most of the big roles. -
...it seems Xyzzy80's pretentiousness has caught up with him. Not only did he not understand the article, he also apparently doesn't understand the word auteur.
Look for more of his horseshit in the next Neill Cumpston talkback. -
Jul 07, 2008 6:50:10 AM CDT
well, it looks like a new forum for b-movie conversation..
by jonah echo
if anyone else were doing this, I might be excited that they would deliver a trashy good time. After Godzilla, Day, The Patriot and 10,000 B.C. I've given up any hope of Emmerich making something work. At this point, I think Michael Bay has a better track record: I had fun with The Island and Transformers, while taking neither seriously.
To re-ignite the b-movie conversations, Solar Crisis anyone? -
You gotta sine your pitty on da runny kine.
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That is OFFENSIVE!
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may well be Universal Soldier.
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It's not 'if' it blows up again so much as 'when'
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Who else delivers such consistently entertaining nonsense? Renny Harlin, maybe, but I can't think of anyone else. I am very much looking forward to the imminent DVD release of 10,000 bc. That one has to be good. My only criticism of Roland Emmerich: Not nearly enough roles for LL Cool J.Also, I agree that black presidents are a little old hat. We've seen plenty of female presidents at this point, too. That being the case, I reckon it's about time we saw either a gay president or a little person president (played by Warwick Davis, obviously).
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a) You will edit that and swear it was a typo. We know better.
b) It's "Bless the Beasts And Children". There's no second "the". Sorry to ruin your Dennis Millerism.
c) Peter Dinklage for Little Person President! -
C'mon, any of you who own just one(1)or more of those McFarlane action comic/movie toys are not to be takin' seriously when it comes to trashin Emmerich's hugely enjoyable in your face cinematic B-movie popcorn works not countin' The Patriot, which I actually think kicks major ass on all fronts. Where's Gibson anyway ? I miss the guy.
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Renny Harlin is making movies for the WWE now.
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remember nothing of that movie save for the scene where the kids have nightmares they are grazing in a pen like buffalo, and their parents are shooting them down. Still have that image of the fat kid ambling nervously along, and then taking off in a fearful gallop as his mother caps him in the head and he goes down like a sack of potatoes. good times.
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Holy shit, this movie is going to be hilarious. I can't wait.
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Did you know that Uwe Boll is Emmerich's retarded half brother.
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I think this was Roland's first movie, and pretty freaky for me as a kid in the 80s. I'm still not sure I actually know what it was about(creepy mannequin mainly) but there is no clearer evidence that he wanted Spielberg's career than that movie. And the closest he ever came, popularity wise of course, was Independence Day. Somewhere in there he also did Moon 44, a completely silly and rather boring sci-fi flick.
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I checked into it (ie: looked at that IMDB) and it turns out Renny Harlin is making something starring John Cena and a bunch of folks I never heard of. I don't know this John Cena too well, though. Is he funny? I hope so. All in all, I have to say it is better when wrestlers don't act. Except for They Live, obviously, even if Kurt Russell would have been better in that role.
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When they announced he was rushing to secure a deal prior to the release of 10,000 BC. He knew it was shit and wanted to get the best deal before his next bomb.
This is going to be horrible. -
Seriously that was one of the best written script reviews I have ever read. Great stuff man!
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Roland's first movie, and one unseen by me. It was apparently a student film, but it sounds like there is less NAP involved in that one than this, with it's inclusion of star-arks. Another movie I wasn't aware belonged to Emmerich was Ghost Chase in the 80s. Another kid with creepy muppet movie. In my mind the pinnacle of his career is still Stargate, which was dumb and deriviative but fun and somewhat cohesive as a story. Same for ID4, until the Mac computer virus.
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I hereby bar Memories. Fuck off you little twat. Points of note that I cannot be debated on: 1) Solar Crisis is great2)Universal Soldier is THE SHIT. Just for Dolph 3)Emmerich is a cunt. 4)I watched Mother of Tears on saturday. It is potentially great, but massively stupid. Even by Argento's standards. 5)Memories is a cunt of Emmerichian proportions. 6)Warwick Davis would be a great president.
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is that his movies while collosal pieces of stupidity are actually suprisingly dull. This is not something you can accuse Bay of. And Con Air is also the shit.
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8)Dolph needs more work. You know this to be true- I recently watched some horrible thing where he was running some Witness Protection outfit- while running a restaurant. I shit you not. It was rubbish. But Dolph was good. I can't remember what it was called though.
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Those words don't make any sense. No human being looks forward to an Emmerich film because he has yet to make a good one.
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I don't know what AICN did to get you to come back but thank you for raising the quality of this site up by at least two notches. Maybe three.Stuff like this: "...then I envisioned Cusack glumly slumming his way through this nonsense next July 10th and wept uncontrollably for hours." = Comedy Gold.Cheers.
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I don't follow WWE at all, but John comes on Conan all the time and he is a pretty funny guy, he doesn't take himself to seriously on late night shows. As for his acting, I never saw the Marine, but it looked like he was aiming for serious in it, even though it looked like a ridiculos movie. As for other WWE movies, never saw the scary movie either, BUT I did see The Condemned and it was pretty good. Minus the Jason Boure style editing, especially since it stared actors that really could fight (unlike Matt Damon) which was really annoying. But seeing that Rambo proved that you can shoot action with not having to quick cut everything to show action. SO I am hopeing that WWE keeps moving in the right direction towards better and better movies, and hopefully Renny Harlin isn't just picking up another paycheck. He hasn't done anythinig worth while since Deep Blue Sea, a personal favorite.
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I do enjoy that one. It's like if a Michael Bay film woke up one day and realised how utterly ludicrous it was.
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I could never call it good, but it was a hilarious ride while it was going, and one of the few times where Malkovich was taking JOY in slumming it. Now when you see him in some crap, it's like he thinks he is still on the stage or playing the version of himself from the Spike Jonze movie. In Con Air he was gnashing his teeth and taking Jaws size bites out of the scenery. Add in M.C. Gainey, Danny Trejo and Buscemi and your nutjob/sleazoid/terrifying factor has been met, leaving Malkovich all the room to wax psychotic.
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perfect. The rest of the movie sadly was pretty lame. Sorry Jarv. Ever see the Lundgren movie with the Sayles script? I think it was called Men of War, or something like that? It was watchable, and Dolph was good in it. Wasn't there one where Dolph fought the devil, or a henchman of the devil or something, called Minion? Never saw it, but am aware of it. It would be interesting to see how many tough guys have attempted to take on the devil/or emmisary of the devil. Arnie of course, and lets not forget Chuck Norris in that flick Hellbound. I recall little about that one, save for Norris's character's name which was priceless: Bob(or some other typical name) Shatter.
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Jul 07, 2008 9:11:07 AM CDT
Fred say Nic Cage should stop dyeing hair jet black
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
And get a haircut. Nic still trying to look young for Superman role - Fred say it not work. Nic started going to Keanu skool of acting in Con Air. It shows!
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Jul 07, 2008 9:12:18 AM CDT
The Swarm book took place where I lived and the hotel I managed!
by stormwatcher
Boom! This is the German book right? About sea creatures rising up? Cuz that's the one I am talking about. Tons of Germans kept staying with us retracing the book. Tofino ho!
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Yeah, the comparison with Emmerich wanting to be Spielberg sounds alright, but it seems Spielberg watched the director's cut of The Patriot before making his incredibly lame remake of The War of the Worlds. Or was that scene where the girl-kid was watching all those dead bodies drift by in the river from the original HG Wells book ? I could be wrong, but I can't recall seeing that in the '53 movie. In any case, Emmerich's scene which can be found in the extras section of The Patriot DVD or implemented in the Director's cut of the film is a fabulous scene and much much better better as the one Spielberg did.
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the swarm is a Bee movie in the true sense of the word. A ton of them, a swarm even, of killer bees!
I'm not familiar (or don't think I am) with the one you are talking about, but now that you mention it, I have my useless quest for the day. Sea creatures rising up? Do tell? -
What ever happened to Dave Chapelle? And why did America let Carlos Mencia ride his wave of success? Also I tried watching Con Air like a year ago, and the dialog and acting was SOOOO bad I had to turn it off, namely Nic Cage. Put the bunny in the box.
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Attention Roland Emmerich..forget 2012...you want a gonzo disaster movie(written by a german no less)do this one. I haven't read it, but after Storm's mention of it I looked it up and the synopsis alone screams "FILM ME...BADLY"
http://www.amazon.com/Swarm-Novel-Frank-Schatzing/dp/0060813261 -
Jul 07, 2008 9:18:45 AM CDT
Fred say Nic Cage is a cell phone using zombie
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
When even Zombies phone it, in must really be bad.
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than pay to see a fucking Roland Emmerich movie.
I actually snuck into The Day After Tomorrow, and I STILL felt ripped off. -
Emmerich and Kloser need to stop making movies and/or living.
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"As a) this is a Hollywood movie, and b) the President is a black (revealed in a total "Holy shit, it's Henry Fonda!" moment), we quickly conclude that c) the planet is fucked beyond belief." Um, first, using black as a noun rather than descriptive term is unusual. Its like people who use gay as a noun. And since he's black it means "the planet is fucked beyond belief"? You've got to be kidding me right.
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Jul 07, 2008 9:33:37 AM CDT
"...discovery of piping hot neutrinos microwaving the Earth's co
by mr. nice gaius
Of course! Like we haven't heard that one before, Roland!How about an unstoppable army of Alaskan King Crab rise up from the sea and start taking over the world one pinch at a time? Now, that's a movie I'll watch, Roland. THAT'S...entertainment.
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It was already done thirty years ago. See Billy Barty in Robert Downey's Putney Swope.
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FUCK Emmerich. He's worse than Uwe Boll because he's managed to convince people hes a serious film maker.Anyone looking forward to this should be shot in the teeth. you heard me the fucking teeth!!!
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boring ass movie. i left during the climax. I'm all for blowing up shit real good, but he just sucks
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when it is 2013 and the Mayan calander "doomsday" turns out to bullshit like all of the other past end of the world dates.
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That sounds great. And don't be dissing Dolph. Dolph's a hero. Fuck it, I'm watching Dark Angel again tonight.
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Beaks was making fun of the fact that the president is frequently black in disaster movies. He's bringing light to the perhaps latent unintentional racism of portraying the commander in chief as black in a world on the brink of destruction. As far him saying "a black" it could be a sign of un-PC ignorance, or it could have ebeen a typo. Based o nthis rather intelligent review and the eloquence of his writing OI'm willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and say the latter.
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Jul 07, 2008 9:44:31 AM CDT
"I wore a pink ribbon to the Oscars! I have been to several Elto
by kazamasmokers
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Elton John.... is a gay." -
is making me quite sad. I had really hoped for gloriously stupidness. I will still watch, but am preparing myself for the impending sadness.This though, this could be absolutely money.
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We all know Roland Emmerich could never think of anything as stupendously awesome as NY invaded by hordes of furious gorillas punching people to death. Why, that's almost Shakespearian. Where's George Lazenby when you need him?
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"...to get Harry Belafonte cast as the character of "Harry", aka the elderly musician father of Ejiofor's aide?" Why would Emmerich need to lean on Glover to get Harry Belafonte cast, Beaks? Are they really close buddies and I'm just not aware of it...or is it because they're both black? This is really fucking weird.
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Get it straight.
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The poster with the sabartooth on the cliff, was more exciting then the entire movie. Especially since that scene wasn't in it.
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Hey bud with the tough name, I bet you're midget sized and wear that Manowar shirt even when you go to bed. Get fuckin'lost, nothing wrong with enjoying dumb and stupid but well made popcorn B disaster flicks alright ?
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In the exact same way that I like the flying saucer movies of the 1950s. And Stargate was a good idea that just didn't quite work. The Day After Tomorrow was just too stupid to bear, however. I can forgive hacking an alien computer with a Mac because the rest of the movie was fun but TDAT just sucked all around. And 10,000 BC committed the worst crime a film can commit. It was boring.
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What are you? I've seen you popping up every where?
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why the fuck do you keep saying that!!!!!!!
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I still can't believe someone did that... life is too short (hell, even to see it on theater)
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These hacks are mindful of avoiding the cliche of "black guy dies first" which is silly because 1) That cliche hasn't been used frequently in years and 2) They're unashamed of doing every other cliche to death (will a dog make a narrow escape in this too?) Adding "a black" as President eases your standard hack's "whitey guilt" by giving non-white faces a major role without actually giving them a STARRING role. It's also a lazy way to bring respectability to a shitty movie when in reality, it's the actors reputation that takes a dive, not the other way around.
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Bad english in my post above... I'm doing my best.
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wow a cowboy and a shark you must be extra tough. i dont know what the fuck a Manowar shirt is, im guessing its some american thing, but im really very very sorry i hurt your feelings please dont tell harry on me. (jesus what a little bitch)
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They seem to share similar tastes...
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...and found a picture of Danny Glover kissing Harry Belafonte on the lips, so maybe they are close and thats what Beaks was referring to. I'll give him the benefit of the doubt too that the "a" before black was a typo, and the doomed reference was because of Hollywood's portrayal too. But still, bizarro.
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That makes a nice tagline for the movie poster
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Anytime you see Black man be President in movie, it always end up in disaster for Earthers - that is hollywood. It not ok to use descriptive term 'A Black' to describe Black people though. It is demeaning in a historical context not to mention antiquated.
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the cliche of the black guy dying first hasn't been used in years? Apparently you didn't see the shitty remake of The Fog. Don't.
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The charcters weren't likeable and we've seen landmarks and cities destroyed in other films before. Who cares! How the hell do the guys get the money to finance this junk?!
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I thought that was Mary Steenburgen!
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Then who's Vice-President? Jerry Lewis? I suppose Jane Wyman is the First Lady. And Jack Benny is Secretary of the Treasury. I've had enough practical jokes for one evening. Good night, Future Boy!
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Had Ra at the end, it would've made for a much better movie.
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John Cusack as a 33-year-old.
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take on the president of Deep Impact? Cure for aides.
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Jul 07, 2008 10:23:31 AM CDT
Perhaps the shittiness of this movie is what Nostrodamus meant
by darth sticky
...y'know...instead of "end of the world" prophecy, he actually meant "don't see this fucking movie."
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... yeah, because it's TOTALLY possible to repopulate an entire species with just 2 specimens and not encounter problems with inbreeding at all.
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Jul 07, 2008 10:27:00 AM CDT
so 'black' is ok, but "A black' is not. a little ridiculous
by bmacsmith
but whatever. i dont pay much attention to this PC crap. I thought 'black' was a racist term now too.
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Time for a repeat viewing.
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I would be ten times more bareable without Cage's horribly inauthentic and thoroughly grating Southern drawl.
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... so quit yer bitchin' and pass the popcorn!
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I second that. What the fuck is it?
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playing the divorced dad in every movie he's in now?
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it's the starship in ID4 blowing up the whitehouse. That big expanse of white in the middle is the WH being consumed in flames.
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2012: The War For Souls, written by Strieber...Michael Bay is involved...this isn't that, is it?
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Hey, it worked for Noah!
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I guess this isn't the sequel to Apoclypto?
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Perhaps it's time to eat shit and die...
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Hurrrmmm..?
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I seem to recall it being seriously talked about for a while that the plot would involve the president being infected and potentially dying from his mind meld with the alien in the first film, and then Smith, Goldblum and company actually shrking down Fantastic Voyage/Inner Space style and doing battle with some alien virus or what not. Does anyone recall hearing this? It would have been quite a while ago-97 or 98?
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I'm there for any movie with space arks.
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It's going to be so unbelievably bad that Emmerich will personally pay you to download it, a week after it's released in theatres.
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I mean, it sounds like one of theirs....
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Jul 07, 2008 11:19:51 AM CDT
Fred Thinks Laser Blast worst film all time
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Fred's Mom saw it before Fred born, that why Fred is man Fred is today.
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He has a love for Kung Fu films and it could pay off. Especially under Tarantinos' wing.Admittedly Emmerich has a fascination of destroying the human race in nearly all of his movies but I have yet to see one which is actually good.I pray for the day when RZA starts making movies about killing Roland Emmerich, now that's the right direction to go in.
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that's just the tip of the bad movie iceberg. It has been mentioned many times, but Troll 2 may honestly hold that title. Also, there was Shrunken Heads...now that...wow.
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The Mangler, only film I walked out of the theatre
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Nilbog, Nilbog, NilbogIn fact, if I get banned again, that's going to be my new ID. NILBOG Jarv
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Forrest Gump. You heard me. Nothing ever made will be as bad as that putrid piece of festering misogynistic propaganda. And I'm usually up for some misogyny in films.
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But Battlefield Earth is kind of awesome in its badness. By that I mean, I'm in AWE of how bad it managed to be.
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It's impossible to hit "worst of all time". To do it, you have to pass through so-bad-it's awesomeland, slay the dragon of cheesy fun and then throw yourself on the sword of boredom. I would seriously consider Brown Bunny for the title.
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it is going to be pretty hard to top Armageddon. That movie was so loud, overblown and aggressive that annoyed me not just the one time I saw it, but all summer 98 long, when you could continuously hear it trying to blow the wall out of the theater, even when you were in another theater already watching a movie. Nothing like watching Saving Private Ryan during that quiet scene in the farmhouse and realizing that the yelling and thunder you hear is Bruce and company wacking out on a big styrofoam rock over in theater 4.
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Netflicks queue, it better be fucking great! My vote for worst movie ever would be Da Vinci Code, god what a terrible terrible movie.
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Robin Williams and Billy Crystal. Williams raps in German. Apparently this is hysterical. It isn't.
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Jul 07, 2008 11:30:25 AM CDT
Fred think Nightfall was also diaper stink
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Once gain Fred mom's saw that before Fred born. Fred see pattern.
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Anything that contains references to both "Pootie Tang" and "Bless the Beasts and the Children" gets a big thumbs up.
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Not to piss anyone off but Indy4 might be in my top 5 worst of all time
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But I nominate teh British Made Demi Moore Stinker: Half Light. DO NOT WATCH. EVER.
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at least one Star Wars Prequel, The Lost World and Indy 4 are all worth a mention.
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again really just a terrible tread through boring-land. Though it doesn't hold a candle to another flick brought up the other day: Solar Babies!
Jarv is right though. If you are truly on a hunt for the worst, then you do have to go beyond so good it's bad or even so much potential wasted(which is where Troll 2 and even Armageddon live) and venture into the nocturnal, cold world of "direct to video and pretentious art-house wierdness. That, I believe, is where the true monsters live.
Consider such awful, meandering fare as Sourdough- a movie about an old crochety dude who wants to go live on some fabled mountain, only to find a bunch of slaughtered animals when he gets there, after an hour and half of watching the old coot talk about going there, while he walks about in circles.
Behold, Tale of a Vampire with Julian Sands and home video style production about vampires that ...wait for it..work in the library and do little else.
And then there is To Catch A Yeti, with Meatloaf in it, and a child who keeps screaming to his parents.."Get me that yeti, or I'll make your lives hell." -
...is pretty awful, but I'd have to say Omega Doom is one of THE absolute worst. In a bad way.
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Fucking awful.
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Horrible.
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For instance is there a more terrible trilogy than Curse, Curse 2 and Curse 3? One was about meteor poisoning turning people into crazy slop, 2 was about a man turning into a were-snake, 3 was about some tribal curse and I think Chris Lee poked his head in for a moment.
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Jul 07, 2008 11:41:24 AM CDT
Fred just spoke to Freds Mom about bad movies
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Fred's mom said Attack of Killer Tomatoes was worst movie she ever saw. Fred never saw that one, but Fred still detect pattern in Freds mom's movie watching and Fred's later behavior in life. Fred think Fred's mom have questionable taste in movies.
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...is one of the greatest bad movies I've ever seen. It's superb on so many levels of crap.
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...with Sean Bean is also bad on the Half Light level, i e simply dreadful with no redeeming qualities.
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Best moment in Megiddo was when Michael Bien loads his gun, and says "The Lord giveth.." locks and loads,"and the Lord taketh away."
And all of this from a supposedly serious attempt at a christian film. -
with Neve Campbell and a giant subterannean rodent being hunted by Brion James?
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Fred not see any of those DTV moveies, but Fred thinks just from way you describe them, that they be even worse than Mothers Day
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Howling 2. Holy shit that movie's incredible. Reb Brown, bad special effects, Sybil Danning's hooters (same scene shown 20 times over end credits), Christopher Lee in pseudo-punky new wave outfit and incomprehensible plot. GOLD!
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bad, Also a terrible title
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Anything, ANYTHING, with Brion James is automatically watchable.
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Howling in the title. Howling: New Moon Rising is definitely one of the worst movies ever being basically a country line dancing tutorial mixed with clips from the previous movies to save on fx.
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What, no "shark attack 3: megladon" or "Mansquito"? come on people. Now fuck off.
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yes, Doc, and actually The Dark was quite watchable. I guess I switched gears from "worst" to fun-bad again. One scene hada guy screaming at James "Your'e worse than the creature" and James just doing that drunken hyena laugh he had. Brion James was B-movie fun. It's a shame he passed away.
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"Tyler Perry's (Insert Any Tyler Perry Film Title Here)"
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i left after he went to the hospital. didnt really care to finish it. pretty boring. was the ending any good? i dont really even care.
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Starring La Bomba and the hot ass red head from Starship Troopers?
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Jul 07, 2008 11:49:27 AM CDT
Sorry guys, I know its a cliche but I gotta go with
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
House of the Dead. Truly the worst film I ever watched.
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As second worse movie of all time. Fred qualifies bad movies as being made by directors who try to make a good movie, not directors who intentionally set out to make dreck.
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The Mangler as mentioned..
but for bottom-barrel work, consider:
Maximum Overdrive
Trucks
Thinner
Graveyard Shift
and dear Lord help you if you have seen or heard of this one..
The Devil's Gift(loosely based on his short story The Monkey) -
Keep that asterisk shit back at CHUD. It's annoying as hell*
*See, I told you. -
...The Nights of Terror as it's also called. Funniest bad Italian zombie movie EVER. "Mother, this cloth smells of DEATH!"
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but when people in HOTD died, and the camera spun around as it turned to red...... It took some of my soul.
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Thinner is so bad. Good call. Never saw the Devil's Gift but read the story
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However, as long as we're talking Lou Diamond Philips here, Route 666 was much worse.
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For worst Steven King movie. Gah what a boring useless movie.
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Jul 07, 2008 11:55:55 AM CDT
The House Behind the Cemetary is fuckin woefull
by nomoredirtyjokespleaseweareyanks
I swear there is a moment when the killer is stalking, the music stops, he walks offscreen and it starts up again. As if his job wasn't hard enough, tha poor cunt has to swap vinyl sides to keep the atmosphere crankin.
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Yeah they should have left that great short story alone.
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I'm with you there. 1408 was a piece of turgid, soulless shit.
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Jul 07, 2008 11:57:12 AM CDT
Fred say Hancock not really bad - just need more time
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
They should not have wrapped up movie so quickly, could have used added 20/30 minutes. Still it not bad movie, and it had one scene that Fred thought was funniest description of what had just happened (in prison) that Fred has ever seen in - Fred not joking. It involved prison fight and Jason Batemen asking Will Smith if he did what Bateman just heard he did. Fred still laughing.
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Because as recently as this year, I have heard at least five people reference the single memorable moment of that movie: "I curse you...THEEEN-AIRRR!" That kind of contribution has to take Thinner at least out of the bottom 20.
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Another Stephen King debacle of a film
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the first film I ever walked out of.
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Come on Kurt Thomas? Parmistan? Ninja cannibals? CIA? Fuck me that movie was so bad it was good, and TNT showed it all the time in the mid 1990s
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Are the only Emmerich films that withstand the test of time. Anyone else agree? I watched the Patriot over the weekend and was impressed with the visuals, most of the characters, John Williams' score, and the unabashed killing of unkillable characters.
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Wonder what it would be like now. Probably unwatchable
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doesn't make it any less bad, and the scene with the gypsy guy laughing like a loon driving a semi=priceless. Mantegna was so out of place in that.
A few more bad titles: Rumplestiltskin(the horror movie, with Rumple looking like a large version of that little troll from Cat's Eye)
Grim-a giant troll in a maze
Jack Frost: the killer snowman flick or the Michael Keaton dead snowman dad flick, take your pick.
Skeeter...nuff said. -
Good God, they're both horrible, but at least the horror one could have been so bad it was good. Don't know how, but they managed to fuck up a scene of snowman shower rape.
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I'll admit the apocalypse itself was thrillingly bombastic, but once the actual plot got started I couldn't have been more bored.
This coming from a guy who enjoyed the gloriously stupid Independence Day. -
So both movies deserve dishonorable mention.
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how bout that?
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Red Sonja
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first role. . .
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Did you see John Travolta???
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I guess the survivors forgive him for not evacuating sooner.
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Now, there's a bad movie that cracks me up.Anti-gravity beer!
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Two Knoxville shitters
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It's pretty bad, but it's definitely more entertaining bad. Best part is where Sonja is doing backflips and it's so clear its a man wearing a red wig. Also, no Nelisen jokes. She still had semblances of femininity back then.
Defcon 4 is pretty much straight crap. As is Squirm. -
For so many reasons.
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I wonder if john cusack as jack curtis will sacrifice himself, and if his son noah will get on an ark?
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but part 4 took the cake there. They couldnt even afford ghoulie puppets. They were just two midgets wearing paper mache masks.
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Did you hear they are remaking Red Sonja...why???
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Did anyone see the sequel? I never did.
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Did anyone see the sequel? I never did.
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about vampires in film; they talked about the greats (Blade, Interview with the Vampire, The Hunger, etc) and also talked about Bloodrayne. I can't tell you how hilarious it was to hear Uwe Boll and Kristana Lokken talk serious about the emotional depth of the film. HA HA HA!!!
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but Eyes of Fire is up there as well. Anyone see this garbage from the 80s?
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Isn't Emmerichs muse Dean Devlein in that?
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square pigs!
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The world will end before this movie comes out. I can't see the world's destruction based on a calender created by a dead civilization being anymore painful than watching this movie. Emmerich should really quite making movies.
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which featured killer toys, Mickey Rooney as Joe Petto and his son was a murderous marionette robot.
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Fucking hilarious. Kristana especially was very serious about the depth of the character...ha ha ha
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hehe
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Didn't we have this conversation on another thread recently?I agree with The Glove. Given the pedigree, Indy 4 may be at or close to the top. But then I think of Ghost Rider, Silver Surfer, Failure to Launch, The Family Stone, Elizabethtown, The Avengers, Friends With Money, Gosford Park, AvP 1&2, Chronicles of Riddick, Signs, Van Helsing, Battlefield Earth and Mission to Mars and suddenly all of those are at the top of my list.Emmerich might have given us 10,000 B.C., The Day After Tomorrow and Godzilla, but I'll stand behind The Patriot, ID4 and Universal Soldier anyday. Unfortunately Stargate was only good on the first viewing but I'll give it a pass since I think it helped to jumpstart Hollywood's renewed interest in sci-fi after almost a decade of duds.
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clearly missed the point with Bad Boys 2. That was fucking terrible and unfunny as all hell.
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At least the actors knew those movies were crap and gave enjoyable, but over-the-top performances that at least made those movies guilty pleasures. Other than for Independence Day, most of the actors play it straight in Emmerich movies which gives you nothing to fall back on when Emmerich delivers barely registing plots or narrative.
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I completely gave up on Emerich after watching Jake Gyllenhaal RUNNING FROM COLD WEATHER....Are you fucking kidding me Emerich!! Day After Tomorrow should be in the comedy genre....I was laughing my ass off! I tried to watch 10000 BC but it was the biggest fucking snooze fest of the year!! 2012 isn't getting my $8.50!
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Sorry but I got thing for hot chicks dressed up like Gypsies. Woodie Alert: http://www.djfl.de/entertainment/djfl/1095/bilder/109898b2.jp g
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It's nice to see an AVP-R hater!! Fuck those assholes for making that cool Red Band Trailer and making me spend my money on that piece of shit movie!!!!
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Sandler sounded French half the movie
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was it any good?
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Because it starred UBER MILF Kelly Preston.
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I still think we're living in bizarro world where everything is reversed as that was the worst movie of the year and yet was named best movie of the year.Same thing happened again with Crash and Million Dollar Baby.
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Goddamn that was bad.
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The Wicker Man,Windtalkers, Captain Corelli's Mandolin just to name a few. And those are pretty fucking bad!
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And yes, we had this conv elsewhere, but there it was more "name the bad or B movie" than compiling a list. Always up for playing the ID game though.
I mentioned this earlier, but has anyone seen Making Contact? I tihnk it was called Joey elsewhere. It was an early Roland Emmerich film, but it might have been better than his more recent fare. I can't recall much of it, save for a kid with powers, a mannequin, a giant "cheeseburger" and an end scene where they toys in a kid's room were floating. -
As terribly good as the original my friend. "With my right foot I will kick your face, with my left, I will kick your nose, look at my face, I'm an oriental"
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kick from the National Tresure films. The dude that played the retard in Gigli? He got on my very last nerve!
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and I think my sister and I watched it about a million times. . .of course when you are 5 the sex and race jokes go a little over your head, to say nothing of the Hare Krishna DEA agents. I fucking love that part
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Thanks, I never understood that award either. fucking awful boring movie. Crash was shite too. Million Dollar Baby (while I didn't love it) at least kept me interested
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must kill Krites
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Talk about garbage. Belongs up there with Transporter 2 as the only movie in recent years I rented and turned off in the first 15 minutes.
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I forgot about the Hare Krishna agents. Now I wanna go back and watch that crapfest again. I just found out my sister's a closet Sci-Fi junky. How cool is that?
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Not even sure why it was made. Garbage
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case closed!
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someone has put the entire "They Call Me Bruce" movie in segments on Youtube. . . I just watched the first few minutes and was crying my eyes out laughing at the overtly racist theme song played during the title credits, "Oriental Boy"!!! Priceless!
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...Geez! The evil presidential aide should be Biff Tannen!
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I hate that movie with the white hot passion of a thousand suns. TERRIBLE!
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They should make a Bruce 3: They will always call me Bruce
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Revolutions is way worse than Reloaded in my opinion
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Million Dollar Baby was nearly as heavy-handed, ham-fisted as Crash. The over the top German boxer at the end? Jeeeeeezus.They had so many stereotypes in that movie I don't know why they stopped short of the Mexican tomato picker, the Italian pizzeria owner with the curly moustache, the cute kid dying of leukemia, the a-hole boss banging his secretary and the tour bus full of Japanese snapping pictures.
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and no rave scene. that automatically makes it better than Reloaded.
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But in this one, Bruce has to enter a tournament and fight Jean Claude Van Dam
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...If you're gonna make a stupid-ass caveman movie and you're gonna have the obligatory "sexy cavegirl" character, and if you're gonna cast Camilla Belle... then DAMMIT(!) at least costume her in a barely-held-together fur bikini for chrissakes! It's just simple, b-move, common sense. I wasted two hours of my life watching this thing in hi-def on OnDemand and never saw a glimpse of Camilla-skin... I mean was that tribe some kinda cave-Taliban or something? Camilla in a fur-burka just don't cut it!
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I concede. Only saw MDB once which, for me means I didn't care for it. I rewatch almost everything i enjoy. Unemployment rocks!!
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like Rad?
Nothing screams suspension of disbelief like watching a snot nosed kid ride his bmx up onto a dumpster and then leap over a speeding station wagon. Booyah!
And how bout bad that tries hard to be so good it's bad, but is just bad? Saturday the 14th and Saturday the 14th Strikes Back. -
Great cheesey Space Ark end o' the earth masterpiece sans earthquakes.
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Supercross? From like 3 years ago?
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easily the worst thing in the trilogy but Revolutions made me wanna go up on the stage and rip the movie screen down. The whole movie!
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Jul 07, 2008 12:50:09 PM CDT
The Matrix Reloaded wouldn't even be the worst movie
by hawaiian organ donor
Ever made if it was the ONLY movie ever made. Not even if I was hypotized to think it was the worst movie ever made would I call it the worst movie ever made.
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If this is the best original blockbuster they can come up with, I say keep on making remakes, sequels and comic book movies. At least they seem to have perfected the comic book movie thing (Iron Man, Incredible Hulk, Wanted, looks like The Dark Knight if early reviews are on the mark).
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and Mortal Kombat: Annihilation shoot for worst sequels ever. Fly 2, Food of the Gods 2. But then you have House 2, which was awesomely craptastic. John Ratzenberger in that flick cracks me up every time.
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I hadn't thought about that in years. Wasn't there a cheesy encounter with an alien at the end for an exchange of a glass of water for either the good package or The Big Gun?I spent an entire summer watching that on HBO.
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You confused me. Neither is the worst movie ever made by a longshot. Just very disappointing after the fabulous "The Matrix". Bring back Joey Pants!
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I kept thinking it should be good, but, at least in my eyes, it never made it. Bob Balaban directed, and Randy Quaid was the papa cannibal. Boring.
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terrible special effects: check worst dialogue since Star Wars Ep I: check inane plot that goes nowhere: check completely lacking in anything resembling depth (yet still manages to convince people its deep): checkcompletely pointless fight scenes: check completely ignoring the first movie: double check man nudity: check Belucci nudity: no check! rave scene: check white Milli Vanilli: check Trinity kick overused to the point of parody: check bad acting: checkanything else i forgot? need i go on?
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No matter how bad you think the film that you regard as the worst is, it doesn't come close.
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Good call Monty...."there's a ground Monty"
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on a list of worst movies. I know its forbided to nay say the Lynch and to be deemed as a "you just don't get it" type of person, but that movie was terrible. There was no reason to sit through it, if I wanted to watch and hour and a half of black screen with random scenes you could see, I'd watch my old ass TV at night. How that movie made 3 million dollars is beyond me.
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are you really calling US stupid. Also "they don't audiences as a pack of idiots". C'mon man
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I nominate that cinematic after birth as the single worse festering sack of shit I have ever seen. It had zero bad movie redeeming quality. Zip, zero, zilch, nil, nada, none, nien, and nyet.
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Lynch is so weird I usually lose interest halfway through. Maybe I "don't get it" but I like to be entertained, my bad
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Man I hate when people shit on these movies. They were pretty awesome. I'll give you that the rave scene was a little overdone, the multiple Neo fight CGI was a joke (towards the end), the Architect was needlessly pedantic, Kid's storyline annoying, and the "war's over" ending was weak, but the movies still kick ass. The same breathtaking action from the first film (which is overrated to begin with) is in the two sequels. I lvoed the highway chace scene in Reloaded, and the final fight between Smith and Neo is one of the sweetest battles ever put on screen.
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Critters is fucking Classic! And the Matrix Trilogy rocks!!! Fuck you fools!Oh and Long Live Speed Racer!!! Sorry Speed that people are so closed minded...I guess they're afraid bright colors and originality. It's a movie based on a cartoon for cryin out loud!
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Yeah, read any review of that movie though. Its like they can't not love it, its so good. Lynch gets his dick sucked way too much by critics and fans.
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... NOTHING BUT TROUBLE or HAUNTED HONEYMOON. Both are depressing wastes of talent.
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Fred thinks you forgot to mention Nee! As in Knights who say
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I think the NY Mess and D-backs have the same record now, or one game difference. Yikes!
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Nothing But Trouble had that sweet Digital Underground song Same Song.
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A travesty to be sure. As was The Radioland Murders, which happened to have a certain Mr. Lucas name on it somewhere.
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the worst piece of shit movie ever put on screen. I will fight to the death for my right to preach about the suckitude of that 'film'. I actively hate it. HATE! maybe Revolutions was worse, but my expectations were so low by then i couldnt tell.
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Jul 07, 2008 1:32:36 PM CDT
Fred Nominate Dr. Detroit as Third worst movie
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Dan Ackroyd on roll
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Jul 07, 2008 1:34:25 PM CDT
Fred Nominate D.C. Cab as Fourth worst movie all time
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Honorable mention to Mr. T
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let's not leave Mikey Bay's Pearl Harbor out of the conversation.
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Jul 07, 2008 1:37:05 PM CDT
Fred Nominate Over The Top as Fifth worst movie
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Fred think this tied with Rhinestone, but Fred liked Dolly's hoo-has, so Fred give nod to OTT
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AvP:R was beyond garbage. One of those rare movies with not one single redeemable second. And what's worse is that they put the whole project in the hands of these bums known as the Brothers Strause who weren't even old enough to see either Aliens or Predator in the theater.
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Is probably The Patriot, which is kind of like picking the winner of a beauty contest between the bearded lady and the elephant man. What's funny about The Patriot is that Emmerich is clearly trying to restrain his action movie sensibilities in favor of telling more of a sincere, somber epic, and I think the film, ironically, works better when it's trying to be the epic than when it goes into Revolutionary War-era action movie insanity. But the fact that such a conflict in tone exists in the flick really gives it a schizophrenic bent, but that's better, I think, than the out and out shittiness that dominates the rest of his work.
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But as bad as Pearl Harbor was, at least it had the attack scene so at least a miniscule amount of redemption. You need to see the director's cut and afterwards you'll give Bay credit for pulling off something on such a huge scale that seemlessly blends practical and GC effects. There are a few shots where there is so much going on and yet it all looks perfect, it makes you wonder why they weren't interested in actually building a good movie around it.
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You make the large assumption that someone could watch that movie and make it to that point in the first place.
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Nah. But you should be flamed hard for dissing GOSFORD PARK!
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Is that it simultaneously isn't nearly as bad as it typically is made out to be, and yet it still completely blows.
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I was in a rush and fucked that one up. Fuck me running, Requium sucked diseased ridden cock, and not the cool diseases. No, AVP:R sucked the smelly drippy kinds of cock. I actually hate AVP:R so much and by extension everybody involved in it and wish them all painful deaths, maybe something like getting eaten alive by a pack of wild dogs.Freds _Balls I did meant to put nee in my post but see above where I was in a rush.JPT, the D Backs are rancid. I was listening to the game over the internet last night and it drove me fucking nuts. The Mets will end up bettter then the DBacks, there I said it.
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Was Ron Dawgs only movie with an already bonafied Star in it. Except for maybe Universal Solider which came out at the height of JCVD's career. All of his other stuff stars up and comers, or been around forever (Mr. Jessica Parker, Bill and Dennis), but Mel Gibson is the only real huge star Emmerichs worked with. William Smith was not yet a mega star during his ID4 days. Maybe thats why The Patriot is as good as it is.
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How are you doing, sir?
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Jul 07, 2008 1:59:59 PM CDT
Fred would like to change topic to Hidden gems
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Very presumptous of Fred, Fred knows. But thinking of bad movies, made Fred think about the good ones that get overlooked. Fred really, really,loved: Into The Night. Ithad Michelle -Fred can't spell her name, and Jeff Goldblum. Elvis impersonators, Iranian terrorists - who were actually Greek, John Landis and David Bowie.
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I rented disc one of the Pearl Harbor Director's Cut and skipped to the Jap Attack (TM). The rest of the movie is unwatchable trash but a true movie geek does need to give that one scene kudos for what it managed to pull off.Gosford Park was just like the English Patient in that it featured a group of reprehensible scumbags I could care nothing about. I wanted a German V2 rocket that had been circle around for years running off the fuel of good intentions to drop down on that estate.
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Can you imagine how many times Gibson must have bit his tongue while they were filming that flick? I can see him on the phone with his agent now:"Yeah...yeah, I know. I know I'm only supposed to act in this thing. Look, don't you tell me this Emmerich guy knows what he's doing. I directed BRAVEHEART for Christ's sake!!!"
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You deserved what you got if you watched it even after seeing the first abominating film.
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Both required the illicit Fruit of the poppy to be endured though.
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I was about to say "well wait until you see AvP:R!" but it seems that was the case. I would argue that AvP:R is so bad it actually makes the first movie look good. The last time I was as furious and insulted as I was when watching AvP:R was when I saw Highlander 2 for the first time.
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Hawaiian, I have no problem doing that: kudos Bay, for the attack scene. The Patriot is entertaining, no matter how silly it is. The final scene of them building his house...priceless...gets me every time...I'm starting to get choked up now...And I've never seen AVP:R, but Cloverfield is better than that. I've got the first one to go by.
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My curiosity has peaked.
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Man, I'm with you on just about everything, but I can't get behind the Transporter 2 hate. The utter retardation of both Transporter flicks excuses them of all crimes.
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Funny - CHUD has a story that makes it sound like Sigourney Weaver has given some thought to another ALIEN film. She seems open to the possibility as long as the story AND director are solid. Now, enter Sir Ridley Scott who has just recently said that he wants to do another sci-fi film really soon.I doubt it will even happen but...could it be?
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we're a group of people with limited access to entertainmment. We have to watch what's available, I was hoping for something bad but entertaining, unfortunatly it was just bad with no redeeming qualities.The only thing good about Ben Affleck fights WW2 and wins it by himself, aka Pearl Harbor, was the five minute sequence of the Zeros, Bettys and Kates making their attack run on Pearl Harbor. Other then that the PH movie was offensive on every level.The sad thing is that there are fantastic Pearl Harbor movies out there like Tora, Tora, Tora and somebody thinks a classic like that can't hold a candle to shit stain like Pearl Harbor.
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Jul 07, 2008 2:24:10 PM CDT
Fred say at least AVP:R had monsters you could see
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Clovefield, just one big ninja tentacle.
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"You couldn't bar a Mars chocolate bar, much less anybody."
You complain about movies that treat people like idiots, yet you have no compunctions about treating all of us like idiots with your raping of the English language.
Furthermore, you wouldn't know how to enjoy a bad film if your life depended on it. -
both were really insults to their respective events.
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has to be in the discussion. That was a major piece of shit! Or more recently, Blueberry Pie or whatever Jude Law and Nora Jones film.
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Will somebody please explain to me what the hell the following piece of dialouge means "aim small, miss small." Now, I've had the opportunity to spend my adult life around firearms as part of my job. I have even taught basic riflery to Marine Corps boots and I can't for the life of me figure out what the hell that sentence means. Maybe one of you big brains with your fancy educations could do me a soild and clue me in about that one.
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where they explode the shit out of innocent new yorkers like Bay exploded sailors in Pearl Harbor. did he forget that people who were at the real Pearl Harbor are still alive? Nothing says honoring the soldiers who died like reducing them to Cg extras blown into the air for popcorn fun!
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Really? Where?
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My only guess is that if you narrow your aim you'll have a better chance of hitting the overall target and thus miss less often? But that is strange.
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was just loathsome really. It's hard to put it any other way. Alot of the stuff we mentioned here, there is a perverse joy in watching, but there was zero joy in that. It did make the first movie look good by comparison.
Highlander 2 was so much fun even as it destroyed the original. The other sequels were dull and lifeless. And it has been said already, but Critters was a good movie. In it's way, it was as good a commentary on 50s monster flicks as it's obvious inspiration Gremlins. Now Critters 2, 3 and definitely 4 which made brad dourif boring, were worthless. But not the original. If you must pick on a little critter movie and already mentioned Ghoulies, then Munchies is your target. Munchies. -
Cloverfield Ninja tentacle - could only be seen two maybe 2.3 times in whole movie. Alien and Predator monsters were all over the place in sewers, swimming pool, and at drug rehab center hanging out with Linsday.
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my guess: with those old muskets, if you aim at something small (like a head), you will miss that small thing. instead aim at the body.
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Maybe they were trying to say, "Aim high, Air Force".I'm only kidding, my stalwart Marine buddy! I keeed!
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in the arena of little creatures, there are two that are underrated: one is Small Soldiers, which I completely love as another "Dante blows up an 80s neighborhood" even though it came out in 98. The other was the short TNT film "Battleground" with Will Hurt fighting those little soldiers, and based on the steve king short story.
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I only saw amorphous, wet, black, hissy stuff filling the screen.
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You haven't lived until you have seen the original version of Highlander: The Source. It's astoundingly awful. You'll want to kill yourself when the villain starts singing "Who Wants to Live Forever" -- and that's one of the least horrendous bits of that movie.
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if you watched it sober Danny. Best part was the wierd inclusion of a Loreena McKennit tune while Connor pounded on his sword. Loreena is by far the best of the celtic-style musicians and yet she missed the chance to do songs for LOTR and has had music in both Highlander 3 and Soldier. She must be very proud. DelToro, if you are reading this, give her a call and get her on board for The Hobbit.
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Fred think: It means that some people intentionally set their sights low, so that if and when they miss, they will not be hurt as bad. Or, it means aim at center mass.
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Squint your eyes really hard and you can see the virgin Mary. It helps with the aiming. CoC members need to silly creed to go by when conducting pencil jihad...just faith baby, just faith.
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the villain sings that song? is it supposed to be serious? What happened to this franchise?
Anyone here see Hell Comes to Frogtown with Roddy Piper as Sam Hell vs. giant humanoid frogs?
Or Immortal Combat, which squandered a potentially awesome pairing of Roddy Piper and Sonny Chiba? -
Fred think you may be watching Green Slime
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is it takes an insane movie and just reigns it in to a half-hearted sequel. It takes blazing stupidity and neuters it to mild retardation. In trying to fix it, they basically render it irrelevant. Give me the planet Zeist and all that other schlock over a pathetic re-vamp.
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It makes absolutely no sense what so ever, and while I appreciate the effort of folks trying to explain it, it's just impossible. The contortions you have to go through in order to make it minimally less then retarded make it a stupid line.The thing is, you don't aim for the head. Its the only part of your body that moves independently from the rest of the body in all three axis. That's why since the advent of rifles as the primary weapon of the Infantry, the Infantrymen has been taught taught to shoot center mass. You can usually hit that on a regular basis.
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Highlander 1-3 had the camp factor(yes, even the first which some people try to remember as some great thoughtful thing)but the following ones were dreadful, especially the series.
Did you ever get your hands on Invaders from Mars, Danny? -
Well I think that supports my theory the most. I'm proud. Suck it losers! ;-)
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I am well thanks for asking and except for a couple of Lance Coolies getting carried off by giant insects, the deployment is going OK.
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make me think back to summer 2000, which might be arguably the worst movie summer in recent memory.
The same summer gave us Mission Impossible 2, Dinosaur, Road Trip, Patriot, Perfect Storm, Shaft, Highlander 4, Bless the Child, The Cell, The Crew, What Lies Beneath. -
No natural disaster will prepare us for Roland Emmerich's man-made 2-hour shitfest. I prophesize that 2012 will suck so bad it'll be impossible to get rid of the foul rancid taste other than ripping out your tongue. Roland Emmerich is certainly no Irwin Allen. He hasn't made one movie with one-eighth of the character depth of an Inferno or Poseidon Adventure. And at least Allen had the good grace to return to TV after the dreadful When Time Ran Out... Will Emmerich emulate his hero and do us all a favour by fucking off to TV? Let's hope so!!
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Related to Lance Hendricksen?
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Rocky and Bullwinkle, Coyote Ugly and Gone in Sixty Seconds.
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X-Men, Titan A.E. and to some much lesser extent Shanghai Noon were the few good things that summer gave us.
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Was frakin hilarious!!!
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I find the Patriot a rather boring movie that egregiously fucked up the history of the Revolutionary war in the South. It made a hero out of Mel Gibsons character, when in fact, the real life person was a nut job serial killer of slaves and Indians.Also, I threw out the aim small thing as a joke and I didn't think anyone would pick it up and run with it. It did somewhat ruin the scene, for me, of Mel fucking up some Red Coats shit with a tomahawk. Danial Day Lewis was better with a Tommy in Last of the Mohicans then Mel was in The Patriot. Fact
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Jul 07, 2008 3:10:03 PM CDT
OK, so I guess I stand alone in my love for The Patriot
by hawaiian organ donor
If we can gloss over everything else in life historically, I dunno why we can't give Emmerich a pass for butchering the American Revolution by making it so gosh darn entertaining. The ambush scene with Gibson and his two young sons is reason enough why it's a good movie.And Bay's Pearl Harbor is an insult and an abortion but I challenger one person here to watch the attack scene of the director's cut and not admit it's amazing in it's grandeur.
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probably worse, because there were so many disappointments.Only stuff that worked for me then was Shrek, Moulin Rouge, A.I. and The Others.
In the negative you did have Mummy Returns, A Knight's Tale, Evolution, Osmosis Jones, Pluto Nash, Fast and the Furious, Tomb Raider, Cats and Dogs, Bubble Boy, Planet of the Apes, Final Fantasy, Jeepers Creepers. -
I suspect it's a Lance Corporal in the Marine Corp. but being carried off by insects I don't get.
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Jul 07, 2008 3:15:29 PM CDT
Oh, Fred get it now: Starship Troopers! Great Movie!
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Have Bugs in it.
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Is a way to refer to a Lance Corporal in the United States Marine Corps. The reason, Privates and Lance Corporals are just that, they're coolies, and are used as cheap labor.
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It's ok to like The Patriot.I actually quite liked Indy 4, but usually keep it under my fedora. I didnt like the Patriot, but it did have it's moments. My biggest problem was actually the depiction of the villain who eventually became "IEEEEMMM SOOOOOEEEWWW EEEEEEVEEEEEEELLL!! to the point he is burning down a church stuffed with people and then finally has all the properties of a slasher villain and can hop back up with his eyes flashing open while the characters in the background approach him thinking him dead...
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I loved the summer of 2000. Falme away boys, but I enjoyed The Perfect Storm, Gladiator, X-Men, Frequency, Chicken Run, The Patriot, U-571 and Titan AE. That summer stands for me as one of the best runs at the theater personally without a turkey in years.And yes, I realize that it was also the summer of butchered history as Gladiator, Patriot and U-571 took huge liberties.
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as Danny reminded me, 2001 was worse. I also really dug Frequency and U571 but remembered them being spring flicks and not summer flicks. Of those other movies you mentioned I liked them all except Patriot and Perfect Storm and they were both more like frustrating movie with good stuff and bad stuff, as opposed to "why did I pay for that?" I respect the fact many enjoyed them, and Perfect Storm was an "almost" to me. It just didnt come together quite.
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Give me a break. Only a weak minded fool would be taken in by such obviously pandering and contrived nonsense such as that film. Seriously.
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Fred Think Famke was hotter in X-2
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Will they board the "space arks" only to find them filled with telephone sanitisers?
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A defintie candidate for worst film ever.
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and if it werent so goddamn patriotic i'd call you a communist for liking it. that last moronic scene where he picks up the flag and single handedly turns the battle around was so bad i almost threw up.
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Jul 07, 2008 3:24:53 PM CDT
If Fred get banned - Fred coming back as Freds Lance Coolies
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Fred like that, but Fred afraid that if Fred get banned, Fred gonna have to cut off something else to put in mason jar.
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and wondering why the hell i was about to watch people in a boat during a storm for two hours. Why did i think i would enjoy that?
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Fred scratch head about what made Fred go see those movies. Must have been marketing or nothing else better to see.
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I'm getting slammed on all fronts today. Danny, you gotta fight the good fight for me because I'm worried that I'll bring up more movies I love only to find out I should be hung for treason for liking them. Toss me in the ground next to Saddam I guess.
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My father, sister and I couldn't stop laughing at how stupid that entir shitfest was. We almost got kicked out of the theater. Probbaly should have. All we did was ruin the mouthbreathers' enjoyment of it.
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and I think this summer has been the best of the 2000s, but my tastes are a bit different I suspect..so far this is I wat I thought:
Iron Man-fantastic.
Speed Racer- quite fun, and actually had a decent story. A return for the Wachowskis.
Prince Caspian-loved it. A huge improvement over the original, and felt like more in keeping with the better Disney live-actions of the past.
Indy 4- It had flaws, but Ford was back and I actually enjoyed the story and it's approach. It was behind Crusade and Raiders but I never felt cheated, though occasionally baffled, and all in all I walked out satisfied. I understand that isn't the experience of anyone here, but there it is.
Son of Rambow- a classic.
Children of Huang Shi-didnt work for me. It was watchable, but too melodramatic and actors like Chow and Michelle were relegated to background mostly. Ended up being Hallmark arthouse.Not very good.
Hulk- It was a fun, good superhero flick but it was best for a Hulk fan who felt personally catered to by the film. Still, I wish we had the longer version. Good stuff though.
The Happening- not a so good it's bad, but a terrible terrible piece of crap that is far worse than almost any major release we have mentioned on here. Vapid, inept, useless and kind of hateful and stupid, stupid, stupid.
Mongol- a good epic film, though a bit cliche that gets tons of mileage off Asano's performance.
The Fall- masterpiece. Just stop reading this and go see it.
Wall-E- also a masterpiece. See this before the Fall. One of my new fave movies I think. Just pure awesome.
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How dare you speak negatively about the Highlander TV Series. That show fucking rocked! It had Roger Daltrey as a reoccuring bad ass Highlander, the lead singer of Fine Young Cannibals was on it as well. That show was awesome. But I will put Highlander Endgame on a list of worst movies ever made, fucking boring ass movie.
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Oh yeah man, saw the Fall on Saturday. Was an amazing movie, but I fucking had a bad allergy attack an hour into it and couldn't really enjoy the second hour. May go see it again because of it.
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Wall-e was cute, but Fred not think it a masterpiece. It dragged, and bored some of the kiddies - and some adults too. It was a cute movie, but it not deserve all accolades it got. Hancock, not bad. Just need to be longer. Felt rushed ending. It have funniest moment though that Fred has seen in many many years.
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I said carry the flag for me, not continue to take a steaming dump on movies I like. Help a brother out, yo. You defend one of my crapfests, I'll defend one of yours.
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You're a strange dude, which major metrpolitan center do you live in, New York or LA?
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Jul 07, 2008 3:46:39 PM CDT
I guess the Perfect Storm holds a special spot for me
by hawaiian organ donor
Because it's the first movie I saw with my dad after he had a quadruple bypass and I had just gotten my first gig in the corporate world after school so he was proud of me and I felt like an adult for the first time that summer.
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God damn it Beaks, why do you have to be such a snob!
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All around the world its same song.
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I am still a bit ashamed to have enjoyed it as much as I did in the past, but it was a cool movie for its time...largely thanks to Will Smith but also some great "money shots" as Beaks puts it. But Godzilla and Day After Tomorrow are just insufferable and I didn't even try to sit through 10K BC. Anyway, very well written review, Mr. B.
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Whoa, hold on a minute. I don't think that the Discovery Channel's show, DEADLIEST CATCH, paints those fishermen as "heroes". If anything, it only portrays them as hard working men who put their lives at risk in some of the most insane conditions. Personally, I find that show to be quite compelling and one of the best things on TV.The PERFECT STORM was just a handfisted attempt at bringing the book (of the same name) to life on the big screen. While the story of the Andrea Gail is sad and tragic, I dare anyone to not laugh when Clooney declares, "I always find the fish. Always!". It can't be done.Now, that being said, I would like to nominate Captains Phil, Sig, and the Brothers Hillstrand for enrollment in the CoC.
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Bloody typos!
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So what does this site know?
http://www.theendisnear.co.uk -
There. Fred said it, and not take it back.
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is still the best superhero fight ever put onscreen. That's not saying much, but it's the truth. Reloaded and Revolutions are abominations overall, but if you just watch the few great action scenes (with the sound/dialogue turned down), they are kinda cool.
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Jul 07, 2008 4:16:08 PM CDT
Hulk vs Abomination fight was just as good if not better
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Hulk Smash!
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...if a bit cheesy. It was nice to see a revolutionary war flick to counterbalance the non-stop WWII flicks, but HBOs John Adams series put it to shame. The Patriot is to John Adams as Saving Private Ryan is to Band of Brothers. After Band of Brothers, I couldn't even bear to watch Private Ryan again.
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is that the Reloaded Neo/Smith fight sucked a lot more. Good ole rubber CG Neo vs and army of Smithlike manequins! woohoo! good times. and dont forget that it was fought FOR NO GODDAMN REASON AT ALL!
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Fred liked RE's Godzilla, but Fred think you confuse production values with good movie when you say his worst is better than Japans best Godzilla. Fred say there are several Godzilla movies better than RE's worst movie - whatever that may be. Including Fred's all time favorite Godzilla flick - Destroy All Monsters
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...was god awful and no, the end fight was one of the worst fights put to screen. It was so overboard and stupid that I don't know how anyone could compare it to the great fights of the first movie or even Reloaded.
Reloaded may have seemed real bad compared to the first movie, but it was ok on its own. Revolutions has absolutely no redeeming value, in any scene, what-so-ever. It was worse than anything I've ever seen from Emmerich. -
rather watch a william henry docmantary or michael tsarion. they should bease it on one of those guys. serphant ropes, aliens, wormhole stargates. cool shit.
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Neutrinos microwaving the Earth's core = Escaped wolves from the Central Park Zoo.
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Its ok I like Godzilla as well.
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I love it, and I make no apologies. I don't care for redneck, "America can do no wrong" patriotism, but Mel Gibson taking out a horse with the American flag is the coolest thing ever. If your heart doesn't beat a little faster after than scene, then you bore me. For all the Patriot hate on this board, no one's actually brought up a valid reason for disliking it. All I've heard so far is "I don't like when he says 'Aim small, miss small'", or "it fucks with history." With 'aim small, miss small' he's telling his kid a catchy phrase that will motivate him to hit the target. It's like something a coach would say in basketball to put his players in the right mindset. Big fucking deal. And a LOT of good movies fuck with history. Braveheart, anyone? Sparticus?
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That a Roland Emmerich story is posted and we're all talking about movies that suck sweaty balls! Fuck Emmerich! The only good thing he did was Stargate and that's only good because Jonathan Glassner and Brad Wright turned it into one of the best and longest running scifi shows of all time! Battlestar Galactica is the BEST scifi show though! Farscape comes in close second! But I fucking love SG-1!
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Ugh. Edit button please.
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First Doctor Who, now this? I'm a neutrino physicist and I hope I won't be getting lynched soon by some tabloid-reading hippies
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Just a bunch of scenes in slow motion. Slow motion has some strange psychological effect on the brain that makes you think what you're seeing has weight and importance.
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was way hotter than the main chick. So that pissed me off.
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Octagon, do you seriously think Emerich's shitfest is better than the original Japanese classic? For "Chrits" sake! I think you need to have a bit more perspective.
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much better than fucking Patriot.
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Nothing wrong with being strange I meant it as a complement, it means you walk your own road. I may not agree with some takes you have but at least they're somewhat orginal.Also, if you could drop off the _2 part from my handle that would be like I got it back. Thanks
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OK, I just spent the afternoon arguing with one of my asshole friends who defended parents who shovel nothing but salty, sugary, fatty crap down their kids pieholes so I'm ready to go.The Last of the Mohicans is a classic. Nothing more to say. And the soundtrack is one of the greatest movie score ever.Crapping on Private Ryan and The Patriot because they don't measure up to miniseries that had infinitely more time to tell a story is like complaining that the blow job you got from Jessica Alba while she was preggers wasn't as good as the one she gave you a couple years ago. It's simply a ridiculous statement.If you can't recall a good movie from *ahem* Japland since Kurosawa died, then you haven't watched The Machine Girl.I'll give Emmerich and Peterson a pass any day of the week. 10,000 B.C. sucked. Guess what? That's what the stop button on your remote is for. Press it and go frolic with your wife instead. If you paid to see it in the theater, congratulations, you're a chump.I didn't hate Troy as much as some people here and *gasp* I even found Poseidon entertaining. Peterson took a steaming turd and compressed it into 90 minutes of mindless fun. Besides, any movie with Kurt Russell gets a free pass.The Donor has spoken and will now commence dinner and beer.
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stupid stupid. Not all disaster movies are created equal, so we'll have to wait and see.
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Wait for it, wait for it waaaaiiittt.... Not yet, Ok Now, HE'S A LION AND HUGH!
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It's more than the time they had to tell their story. Comparing either movie to just the first two hours of Band or Adams was enough to proclaim the winners. Hell, in both cases, I came to that conclusion after the first hour of each miniseries. And I'm not slamming the Patriot either, I'm just saying that it was more of a popcorn revolution film. I actually thought it was universally reviled and that I was the only one who liked it. It's nice to see it get some love here. It was a toss up for me to watch that or a John Adams marathon last Friday, but I had to give it to Adams for my Independence day celebration.
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i watched Mission Impossible twice just to see the trailer. it was stunning. never seen anything so huge before. the movie was ok. A good example of a dumb summer blockbuster that was entertaining. Unlike all his other movies, except neverending story.
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but really, is there much difference here?
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I still really liked the last scene where Chingachcook and Hawkeye follow Magua up the mountain. The score works really well. I remember as a kid thinking that movie was the shit, and runnning around with this big bent stick pretending to be chingachcook hacking at those damn Mohawks. I was alone a lot as a kid. Still, upon rewatching the movie I gotta say i agree. Apart from the final scene, it reallly does not hold up that well. I still can't believe Michael Mann directed this. I love that guy.
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again, i loved it when I was younger (that dude getting his head knocked off by a cannonball? Don't even try to tell me you didn't think that was cool) but it's really not as good any more. the ambush scene is neat, but the story and characters are too one dimensional. i highly doubt every single British soldier was an indifferent, totally eeeeeeevil bastard.
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iff you liked try, check out the Director's Cut. It is even better and really brings the film into its own.
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*if you liked Troy* damn, I am ashamed now
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god I hope that is not Beaks' typo, but rather a typo in the script. and I hope that Danny Glover (I'm sorry, I know I'm going to hell, but wasn't he dyslexic?) misses it, and the script supervisor misses it, and the editor has farmed off this scene to an intern while he pieces together the ark montage, and so they miss it...and gloriously, I will go into the theater, and hear Danny Glover say "come as an end"...and I will stand up and cheer, and no one will know why but me and my English degree.please god, I don't ask for much. make this happen.
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But maybe they'll like my version better and change it for you, BMW.
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will kick ass. When John Cusack wheels Harry Belafonte down the ramp telling him there is no place for 'old dudes" on the SPACE ARK there will not be a dry eye in the theater. BOX OFFICE GOLD BABY! Another big money shot will be the dog jumping across the lava flow using the few large rocks floating by... just in the nick of time. Cue music: "It's the end of the world as we..."
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yes, the trailer was awesome. I recall seeing it on some dvd, and thinking where did this awesome looking summer movie come from, only to realize it was being released in two months in February. I saw it twice in a week, and then it was gone.
Bad Mr. Wonka,
I suggest that as the release date grows closer for this you make posters that show an overhead view of the city and ala ID4, the shaodw of a giant ass looms over it with the words "The entire world will soon come as an end." -
I remember hearing about this from someone involved in the film (on a making of doc or something), that aim small miss small basically means if you aim for, say, the button on a guy's shirt, if you just barely miss, you'll still hit the guy in the body, but if you aim lazily, and just at the general body that you could miss entirely. I donno if that makes sense, but I remember they put it in the script because it was the advice that the trainer gave the actors when they prepared for their roles (and I guess they liked it so much they ran with it).
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Earlier someone was asking about comparing summers..
starting with summer 2003-Im sure Im missing a few..
2003- X2(good), Matrix Reloaded(o.k., didnt become a true failure til revolutions), Bruce Almighty(eh), Finding Nemo(great), Wrong Turn(uggh), A Mighty Wind (hilarious-best since Spinal Tap), The Hulk(I liked it), Terminator 3(better than I expected, but still..), Legally Blonde 2(never saw it), Pirates of the Caribbean(the non-animated high point of the summer says I), League of Extraordinary Gentlemen(NOOOOOOO!!), Seabiscuit(good, but overrated), Tom Raider 2(eh), North Fork(haunting and poetic, and in a good way),Whale Rider (liked it), Spy Kids 3(never saw it), The Order (ouch, ouch, ouch,) Open Range(very good movie), Freddy vs. Jason(wha??finally? who cares?) -
I actually liked the Apocalypto / 300 hybrid ending. And I shed a tear for Camilla when she got offed. Damn she is hot ...
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What's with the _2 ???
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Van Helsing(wanted to like it, but nope), Troy(same as Van Helsing but I found Troy at least watchable), Shrek 2(funny but not up to the first), Day After Tomorrow(ha,ha,ha,ha,ha!)Chronicles of Riddick(ulous), Daddy Day Care(never saw it), Harry Potter and POA(the best of the bunch to date)Dodgeball( a few laughs)Spiderman 2(awesome, saved the summer) Supersize Me(eh), Farehnheit 911(no one cares now, but I didnt care then), Anchorman (funny stuff), I Robot(I liked it quite a bit, sue me), Garden State (good but overrated), The Village (great score, good cinematography, it's grown on me and I legitimately like it now, but yes, this was the beginning of the end), AVP (why? WHY?), Exorcist 4(WHHHHYYY??)
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was actually the advice given to Mel Gibson and cast by the movie's firearms instructor, Mark A. Baker (who also taught Daniel Day Lewis et al on the Last of the Mohicans shoot.) It means aiming at a part of your target rather than the whole target will increase your accuracy. Basically a pithier version of the hunters' maxim, "aim at the deer, you'll miss the deer. Aim at the deer's chest, you'll hit the deer. Aim at the deer's heart, you'll hit the chest. Aim at the deer's right ventricle, you'll hit the heart." Gibson liked the phrase, so he had it incorporated into the dialogue. I'll admit the line confused me before I read an interview with Baker in Muzzleloader Magazine (yes, I'm more than one kind of geek).
BTW Francis Marion, whom the Gibson character was mostly based on, was not a genocidal killer of Indians and slaves. That was a baseless dig made by a British pop historian who was (understandably) annoyed by the movie's many distortions and fabrications. There's no evidence Marion was any more or less culpable than other slaveowner of his time and place, and his only conflict with Indians came when he served in the militia in a British-led expedition against the Cherokee in the 1760's. In a letter he wrote to his family at this time, he expressed sympathy for the Indians whose homes he was ordered to burn.
That said, the movie is a guilty pleasure at best for me. I liked the tomahawk mayhem, derivative as it is of LotM. And it's the only movie I remember where they show grazing fire, where a cannonball bounces along the ground and knocks off body parts. -
Hitchhiker's Guide..(good stuff), Kingdom of Heaven(well done but unsatisfying..directors cut is awesome though), Unleashed(Jet was good, rest was silly, overall fine), Sith(loved it,great Star Wars movie), Longest Yard(why bother), Mr and Mrs. Smith(yawn), Howl's Moving Castle (classic), Batman Begins(last movie I saw as a single man, with my fiance at the time, and it was a great one), War of the Worlds(eh, it was o.k.) Charlie and Chocolate Factory(decent), The Island (doofy but I liked it), Land of the Dead (ugghggh..brains??....anyone?), Deep Blue-very cool, Red Eye(nope), Four Brothers(the duke was better than Marky Mark), Skeleton Key(enjoyable), Sky High (good stuff), Madagascar(see, I almost forgot it), Brother's Grimm(I liked it, but it was limited), March of the Penguins(good, but overrated).
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Damn I missed you bro. Node here. Have you been gone that long? Xiphos got banned. So did I. Separate incidents.
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nice elaboration on that point that has been floating around all day...
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Asian horror? Really? Dude, stay far, far away. Asian action is where it's at. And take it from anyone on this site, no one can recommend Asian action like I can.ID4 trailer was about the grandest trailer we'd seen up to that point. Regardless if you hated the movie, the trailer made you think you were witnessing the second coming of Star Wars.I actually bought the director's cut of Troy (Best Buy had it for $5.00) and thought it was pretty good. If people haven't figured it out by now, I'm terribly forgiving when it comes to movies. They have to be Fantastic Four 2 bad before I turn them off.Mohicans isn't as good as the first time I saw it in the theater but I think it still holds up well. And it was shot about an hour from where I live.AICN TBers are the strangest creatures on the planet. When Private Ryan came out I remember universal acclaim. Now it seems that half the guys here think it's shit. I'm looking at the movie poster hanging up on my wall right now and I'm tempted to watch it. I think Tom Sizemore is a god in that movie. All hail Sarge.BSB, good to have you back. Not sure if we watched the same movie though. I kept turning 10,000 B.C. off. The last bit I had on as mostly background noise while I looked out the window and counted blades of grass on my lawn.Malkovich chews the scenery in Line of Fire so fiercely I swore I saw him shaking salt and pepper every time he spoke.
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Wasn't Script Girl Miss June?
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it was a pretty decent year actually..
Spiderman(aside from Blade II a month earlier, it had been a while since superheroes had been good, and this one was good), Attack of the Clones(didnt like Phantom Menace but didnt hate it, old star wars was never raped for me, liked this, felt like a big budget flash gordon or buck rodgers, great score, good visuals, perfect matinee fodder even with the bad dialogue), sum of all fears(barely remember it), spirit-stallion of the cimmaron(saw it in college with a girl who was moving away, colorful, bryan adams songs, it's a pass for me), Undercover Brother(I laughed and was ashamed), Insomnia(Mr. Nolan's second try, and I thought it was great), Bourne Identity(honestly, when this came out it was predicted here and elsewhere to be a bomb-a very nice surprise), Windtalkers(a bomb), Unfaithful(no thanks), About a Boy(good movie), Lilo and Stitch(awesome),Minority Report(loved it, think it's one of Spielberg's better movies) Men In Black II(eh) Reign of Fire (B goodness) Eight Legged Freaks(B mediocrity) Spy Kids 2 (eh) Signs(love it, great movie) K19(Wake up, Harrison, waaaake uup!) Stuart Little 2(cute), Big Fat Greek Wedding(I liked it), XXX(three strikes), One Hour Photo(pretty decent) -
Yes. Yes you are. Now you have something for your Wiki entry.
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People think something is going to happen, and it DOESN'T. Sorry, but no matter what the Mayans predicted, I don't think it'll happen.
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dangit! oh well...by the way, I love your reviews, and it just occurred to be that the only time I've shown up in your talkback has been as a petulant grammar/typo nazi.and really, that's only like 65% of my character.keep up the good work. this pile of shit deserves to be called out for the shit it is, but also appreciated for the shit it is.I'm 100 times more pissed at Shyamalan (for The Village, not Lady like everyone else. I jumped ship earlier) than I am at Emmerich.
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Not to The swamp fox things because at the moment I'm overseas and far away(Yes that's a Led Zepplin reference) and not near my info but to the firearm issues raised. Aim small, miss small make absolutely no sense, none at all. In fact it's a random words strung together to try and sound insightful. Just how exactly do you aim small with a .56 caliber musket that has an open iron sight? You aim center mass and hope that the powder ignites because before the advent of modern smokeless black powder, these firearms had a tendency to not work due to the powder "flashing" out and not igniting, wet powder or undecharging. If you're basing your argument on modern black powder rifles and powder then you my man are simply wrong. Modern powder and caps will ignite almost everytime. Powder in the mid 1700's not so much.Also, that long ass quote about hunting you put up? I've never heard it or anything even remotely like and that counts numerous deer camps, competion shooting, the Army and the Marine Corps. Plus countless books and articals on shooting and hunting. Who said something like that? I've heard things like trigger and breathing control, target visualization, shot placement and having enough gun. I've been told and told others where to shoot inorder to quarter the heart of a deer, elk, bear, Javilina and wild pig everytime, but the gooblygook you posted? nope never heard it, no sir. But I'm willing to entertain the notion that could be just semantics of how it was presented.
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Remember all the stories about cloning when Jurassic Park came out? Or the global warming craziness (it was just the beginning) with Day After Tomorrow. It was meteor madness in 1998.
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I got banned.
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As I admitted, the line "Aim small, miss small" confused me, flapping as it did all unexplained in the context of the movie. But as Baker's instruction to the actors, it just meant that focusing on some part of the target - whether "center of mass" or some visible marker like the center bull of a bullseye, you're going to do better than if you just blaze away at the target as a whole. If you aim at center or mass, or the center bull, or the crease where the deer's foreleg joint its body, and miss a little, you will still hit something important. That's all it means.
As for the longer quote on hunting, I believe it was mentioned in passing in an issue of American Rifleman or some other outdoor magazine, but don't quote me on that. I may well have been wrong calling it a saying, since for all I remember, the writer could have made it up then and there.
By the way, I shoot muzzleloaders in competition every month. Percussion caps are irrelevant to a discussion of the movie, the Revolution, or to what I shoot, since I use a flintlock. In my case I use Brandon flints, made the same way from the same nodules from the same English deposits since the 1790's. It's true the black powder (not "smokeless black powder," there's no such thing) made by Goex and other modern manufacturers is closer to good-quality mid-19th Century powder than to the cruddier 18th Century article, since the saltpeter is purer. However, that doesn't make the 18th Century stuff more prone to misfires, it just means that they had to use more of it. A flintlock can suffer a "flash-in-the-pan" misfire if the touchole is clogged, or if the firearm is so fouled the face of the breech is caked up, but keep your gun clean and your flint sharp and properly adjusted, and it will go off. The technique for firing a flintlock rifle is pretty much the same for shooting a modern one - you just have to be extra careful to follow through, in case there's a hangfire. Shooting a flintlock teaches you GOOD technique. BTW you can get quite good accuracy with a muzzleloader, keeping in mind that a round ball loses velocity quickly and the range is necessarily limited. Rifleman Tim Murphy got a confirmed 300 yard kill on a British officer at Saratoga, and a Brit rifleman armed with a Baker rifle killed a couple Frenchies at an even longer range during the Napoleonic Wars. of course, the average grunt during the flintlock era was armed with the short-range, smoothbore musket, but that's another story... -
Hey guys thanks a lot, it's good to be back! And what the hell a lot has changed around here. First of all I have no clue who Mr Beaks is but he's a pretty good writer it appears. Also how the hell you guys get banned? Did I miss an epic flame war? Did it involve Branerobot? Does MorbidObesity the eternal ignoranmus still think the economy is just fine and dandy?
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He is no Spielberg. Don't make me laugh.
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Xiphos got banned during an obituary. Called somebody a cunt or a twat one too many times I guess. And Node got banned with his colossal over use of alternate Incredible Hulk titles.So same old, same old.And in case you hadn't heard, our economy is rockin! Oil is down a couple dollars a barrel and Starbucks is only closing 600 stores instead of going completely tits up.
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It's not just that it's a matter of "when" instead of "if." Yes, it's going to pop, and there's nothing we can do about it. it will destroy North American civilization and cripple the world's agriculture and economy.The key detail is that this supervolcano has illustrated a very regular eruption periodicity of approximately 600,000 years. Guess about how long it has been since the last time it blew its top? Certainly with that lengthy of a refractory period, it could just as easily destroy us in 3008, 4008, or 10008 as it could in 2008, but the point is that it realistically could happen ANYDAY. And that is not Mayan folklore.
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Then it looks like it was a good time for a hiatus, as it seems the ban hammer was working overtime. Is Mr. Beaks Mirajeff's replacement killer?
As for this economy ... the latest daily crisis to hit - inevitably - is the mall crisis. Put your money into Costco, Walmart and Target. They are the future ... -
Like Stanley Kubrick did with 2001. Kubrick took out insurance against alien life being discoverd
before the film was released..I wonder if Emmerich drew up a policy against the world ending before his picture premired..That would be about par for the course for him.. -
Someone snuck into The Dark Knight and snapped a few pictures with their camera phone, including a couple of Two-Face! Check 'em out here, but beware, spoilers lie within.
http://tinyurl.com/6egdqn -
Of course they're are smokless black powder they were developed in 19th century and are nitrocellulose based. Also manufactured powders like Pyrodex are smokeless, but I'll stop here becuse this will turn into a boring conversation for everybody but us.Last point, I've hunted quite a bit and participated in black powder competions and I have to say, I prefer a high powered center fire cartrides for superior accuracy but to each there own.
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Beeks used to be a contributor to AICN but then went to work for CHUD and has since come back home.
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How you doin'? Are you in the desert? Who was the cunty twat who got you banned?
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Schwing!!
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I got two words for ya:
STARGATE
Actually, from what you've described, seems only America is fucked in this movie - and the rest of the world... is maybe a little better off? -
Shoot a percussion revolver. Between the five minute load time, the tendency for the spent caps to jam the mechanism, and the fact that to hit a silhouette target in the chest at 10 yards you have to aim at the knees, you will be even more thankful for metallic cartridges and nitro powder. Back on the subject of bad movies: I've just finished watching one that, if it's not the worst ever made, is sure in the running. The High Crusade, produced by Roland Emmerich. It's a would-be Monty Pythonesque medieval slash sci-fi comedy, and Lord, is it excruciating. Stay away, for God's sake, stay away.
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The reason the Mayan calendar ends in 2012 is so we won't have to see this shitball of a film come out. Please dear god in heaven, make this film 3-D just to add more to the pile.
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Awesome!
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4 is the symbol of death in Eastern cultures. You've been warned!
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They got my eleven bucks...fuck it, I'm there. What's the point of CGI if you can't do stupid shit in a major way?
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Yes I'm over seas and far away and check in once in a while when I can. Today happened to be a day I was doing admin crap and I was by the computer for most of the day, hence the multipal posts.
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What happened to Guy Ritchie? I blamed Swept Away on Madoona but there's no excuse now. Not even sure I wanna see RocknRolla now. Also someone mentioned the fight between Neo and Smith in Revs as the BEST superheroe fight in history....Whaaaaaaa? Did you not see Supes 2 (dated but still great). Revs is an abomination all around. The only movie to actually make the movie before it worse just by it's very existence.
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What the fuck does this even mean: "You couldn't bar a Mars chocolate bar, much less anybody"
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You have no business contributing to a bad movie TB. Nothing you have ever posted gives even the slightest hint that you understand what we are talking about. You are a nasty, whiny, hypocritical, pretentious prick that holds his own bullshit standard of "talent" up as sacrosanct and is utterly incapable of demonstrating that you "get" the so bad experience. And stop lying about AvP- You were stoked to see that. The evidence is there from countless talkbacks, and who can forget your amazingly hypocritical "This christmas I'm booking myself a ticket to see Mr. Alien, Mr. Predator and lots and lots of Mr. and Mrs. Dead people." Give it up fuckface.
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Look at the post you've just put up- H-O-D said that Pear Harbour was generally shit, but he enjoyed the battle from a purely entertaining pov. You are unable to look past Bay and see his point. Pearl Harbour was shit, sure, and I didn't particularly like that sequence, but it wasn't dull.
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Name one good German Filmaker?
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Werner Herzog
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Jul 08, 2008 6:41:22 AM CDT
Fred, you spelled Caidin wrong but I'll let it
by grammaton cleric binks
slide as you honor the writer who brought us The Six Million Dollar Man. I was about ten when I actually bought "Cyborg" with my allowance and read the whole thing cover to cover.
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as the most knowledgeable B-movie expert can you help me out. I've recently blundered across an absolute stinker (by the trailer) called Humanoids of The Deep. Obviously this went straight to the top of the Netflix queue. Is it any good?
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And are you dissing the Bad Dr Uwe Boll?
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He's good. Used to be, anyway. Also, I like what I've seen so far of Tom Tykwer (Run Lola Run and Perfume).On a related note, did anyone ever see that film Nekromantik? That was by a German guy, I think. Horrible film. Not bad necessarily, but just horrible to watch. Horrible like Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer is horrible.
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Jul 08, 2008 7:19:21 AM CDT
99% of the general public don't know who Werner Herzog is.
by ganymede3010
I can't even pull up any statistics on him on boxofficemojo. I haven't seen any of his movies, and I doubt not many have. Please tell me you have some other examples?
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Thanks for having my back, Jarv.Pearl Harbor is an insulting piece of nonsense. If I was a veteran I would feel like Bay slapped me repeatedly. But, there are several frames during the attack set piece where you see that they are using mostly practical effects with actual actors and there are dozens of things going on at once. Compare that to a scene in Attack of the Clones where you also have dozens of things going on in a single frame but it's 100% CGI. So all I was saying was that I have to give Bay credit where credit is due, no matter how much that pains me.
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The guy who directed Downfall (excellent movie) also directed The Invasion so he loses points for that one.
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Has anyone here seen Triloquist (released here in England as Dummy)? It's by the guy who wrote and directed the original Leprechaun and then went on to do Rumplestiltskin. This new one is his third entry into a loose trilogy of cheapo horrors about small things that want to kill you with knives and/or pogo sticks, so obviously I'd like to see it.Any good words from the Ain't It Cool types?
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Humanoids of the Deep is classic and awesome cheese. Beware of the 90s remake however, as it has neither tits nor gore. The original is about sea monsters that come ashore and sexually molest human women and stars Doug motherfuckin' McClure. Solid gold all around.
If you can, seek out the Japanese laserdisc rip as it is completely uncut *cough*cinemageddon*cough* -
Frank- I HAVE to see that. It sounds great. And fuck anyone that can't see the glory in Rumplestiltskin. HOD- de nada, any time that cock spouts off I'll slap him.
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Rumplestiltskin was pretty good, but a step down, I think, from the magnificence that is Leprechaun. I reckon it was because Rumplestiltskin was more of an asshole than Lep. Baby stealing is not cool.Anyway, I feel as though I have to see this new film about a small killer just for the sake of completism. I saw it sitting there quietly at Blockbuster the other day (the day of the Rambo/Juno double bill), but I was scared to rent it. Can it possibly live up to my expectations? Can Mark Jones do it for a third time? Will it have anything quite as demented as Warwick Davis getting pulled over by the police while driving a child's toy car and being clearly, you know, a very small monster with bad intentions?Someone here at the AICN must know.
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Humanoids, the original is pure silliness, and it has the master in it: Doug McClure, and incidentally Vic Morrow as well, I think in his last role before the tragic Twilight Zone issue(Humanoids is 1990).
But to build your enthusiasm in carnival barker style:
See the dreaded fish-people who come to grope you and give the gift of fish babies.
See the annual Salmon Queen(a real girl, like a beauty queen sort of, cept with salmon) face off against the Uber-Humanoid in a battle to the...well, you get the point. Good choice. But don't show it to the yunguns. -
I mentioned Rumpelstiltskin above, and I must admit that any screenwriter who will allow an ancient fairy troll into modern times and instantly let it know how to drive a tractor trailer is someone to keep your eye on...ahem.
Never saw Dummy or Triliquist or whatever. Perhaps because my video store employee days are some 10 years behind me now, and I'm married and have to be more choosy with my schlock and my time. -
Franklin, have you seen Cat's Eye?
or Trilogy of Terror?
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that should have said it is 1980, not 90.
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I seem to remember much of Rumpelstiltskin's plan was lifted from Terminators 1 and 2, which is pretty impressive knowledge for a guy who's been trapped in a statue for hundreds of years. Those Netflix people will obviously deliver anywhere...
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Excerpts from a Triliquist review, for you:
So here we go, how does one explain the plot of this movie without sounding crazy. Basically the film starts off with a women in a hotel room shooting up while here daughter and son sleep. Next to her is a wooden puppet that simply goes by the name "Dummy". The mother overdoes and dies and the kids are left homeless and orphans. Yeas later the kids along with the dummy with a mind of its own are off on the streets. Angelica ( Paydin LoPachin) is pretty much trying to follow in her mother footsteps, she drinks a lot and is really sexually active. Her brother Norbert (Rocky Marquette) on the other hand is quiet and does not speak, however many believe he speaks though the puppet, but throughout the film it's really not revealed if he is or not as it looks like the puppet has a mind of it's own. Anyway someone gets killed and Angelica blames her brother Norbert for the killing. But she plans of breaking him out of the insane asylum he's in because she and the dummy are the ones planning the killings. They soon break Norbert out of the asylum and continue there terror across state lines on their way to Las Vegas. Mean while on there way Angelica gets the idea to kidnap a girl for Norbert. She wants to keep the bloodline going, and want Norbert to have sex with a girl so they can have a baby. But things don't always go as planned and as the story moves on Dummy starts killing more people and the story spins out of control into a wild rollercoaster ride of a movie.
Overall, TRILOQUIST is a movie that you really cannot take seriously as a masterful film. It's poorly made, but it's also a blast to watch. It's a fun movie to watch if you can look beyond the many problems the movie has with it's production value. The acting is pretty good and the dummy in the film has some great one liners that are sure to make you laugh. It's one of those films that's so bad it's good. It is however a blast to watch and have a good time with.
Franklin, those are not my words, but the words of someone named Horror Bob. I would imagine anyone whose parents had the insight to give him that name would have a finger on the pulse of schlock. But be advised, it's not my reccomendation. -
any movie about a puppet that actually has a star named Rocky Marquette is on the right track.
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Alas it is not available to netflix as of yet.
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There's the ones I've mentioned, Jonah's suggestions above, plus there's Dolls, Demonic Toys, Puppett Master, Gingerdead Man - and those are just the ones I can remember. I'm sure there's a bunch more. Oh, Child's Play, that's another one.Gingerdead Man, by the way, is shit. I had such high expectations for that one, but all the potential is wasted. That was a very, very boring film, even with nutbag supreme Gary Busey in it. I do recommend Evil Bong, though, which has a Gingerdead Man cameo in it. That was funny one.
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There's the ones I've mentioned, Jonah's suggestions above, plus there's Dolls, Demonic Toys, Puppett Master, Gingerdead Man - and those are just the ones I can remember. I'm sure there's a bunch more. Oh, Child's Play, that's another one.Gingerdead Man, by the way, is shit. I had such high expectations for that one, but all the potential is wasted. That was a very, very boring film, even with nutbag supreme Gary Busey in it. I do recommend Evil Bong, though, which has a Gingerdead Man cameo in it. That was a funny one.
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there was Dollman vs. the Demonic Toys. Perhaps the most dissapointing movie that could have been made from that title. Hollywood, land of the remake, hear my cry: Here's the title you need to remake with a 150 million dollar budget. Dollman vs. the Demonic Toys. I bet you could get the rights for it from Charles Band for the cheap price of a Yoohoo and some twinkies.
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That is clearly a Bob who knows his horror. He has therefore convinced me to check out Dummy/Triloquist tonight. What the fuck else is there to do on a Tuesday night?
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Ghoulies, as was much maligned above.
And Dollie Dearest, chronicling the terror that ensues when you decide to build a children's doll factory on an Aztec burial ground.
And the early treasures of the genre:
Don't Be Afraid of the Dark
That episode of the Twilight Zone called The Invaders with Agnes Moorhead.
And Im gonna pimp it once more in ths talkback, Nightmares and Dreamscapes: Battleground, the latest and greatest in tiny creature stuff. Will Hurt as a hitman fighting a footlocker of little green army men and their tanks, helis and missles. -
And the trailer looked craptastically awesome. It was on the Warrior and The Sorceress DVD Which was shit, and not in a good way. Despite the awesomeness of a 4 breasted woman shooting poison darts out of her lowest nipple. It was jut a rubbish rehash of Red Harvest. And Carradine is the WORST barbarian hero I've ever seen. It made Deathstalker look like Conan. By the way, the bird that played the Sorceress was also in Deathstalker 2.I'll get both original humanoids and remake. Is the god amongst men known as McClure the king of low rent horror or am I imagining things.
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With a K. RUBBISH. I had such high hopes for it as well. I'm not sure if it was better than Kingdom Hospital though.
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Critters 1 & 2 were good. 3 was crap, but 4 was good. Chucky films have been on a bit of a high recently, what with seed of chucky. But nothing will ever beat the sheer glory of MITTENSCHPIDER. You haven't lived until you've seen Warwick Davis explode from a space marine's cock dressed in full Lep regalia. Deep. Fried. Gold.
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I agree with your ultimate assessment, but you really didn't like Battleground? I thought that was far and away the best of the bunch. The only others that were even interesting were Umney's Last Case and The End of the Whole Mess and they were way too mopey for a short vignette format. The less said about ALL the rest, the better. But Battleground..give it it's props.
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but I'll give you Ghoulies 2 which featured genre signposts Royal Dano and Phil Fondacarro. It did have the phlegm ghoulie whose sole hell power was that of being able to hock large amounts of phlegm that more or less had the properties of rubber cement.
part 1 was like the evocation of every parent's fears for their 80s rock loving, d and d playing child-that they would worship Satan and bring alot of really disgusting, not desirable little miscreants home.
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that Leonardo DiCaprio was in Critters 3. George Clooney has his tomatoes. Jennifer Anniston has her leprechaun. Courtney Cox has Masters of the Universe. And Dicaprio has critters. It is as it should be.
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I may have to. I only saw them intermittently. And they kept pissing me off through their lameness.
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A brilliant combination/ Rip off of Friday 13th, halloween and TCM. And Kevin Costner was in Troma's Sizzle Beach USA. Surprisingly, it ranks as one of his best films.
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I've only just discovered the existance of Gholies 4 as well.
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If you want to make a good one, NEVER, EVER SEND YOUR MOSTERS TO NEW YORK. But it did get back on track for Critters 4, which followed the rule that if you want a good late installment to a previously earth bound series then set it in space. Fuck you all that don't think Jason X is funny. It's hysterical, and has Cronenburg in it.
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I will not let B-movie TB's die. It's utterly against changian credos.
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You should def try and check it out..Maybe its on youtube or something. It's on dvd, but the episode they paired it with when it aired, the Lovecraft inspired Crouch End, is rather mediocre.
But check it out. A small cameo by Bruce Spence. Written by Rich Matheson's son and directed by Jim Henson's son. Will Hurt in a completely wordless performance and lots of good, tense fx work as the little soldiers attempt to really kill Hurt. -
A-V-O-I-D Ghoulies 4. It has no muppets in it. It's a stupid cop drama with the character from the first facing off against the gal from the first, with two little goblins(just midgits with really, really bad makeup helping him, and that's basically it for monster content. While at least the first 3 ghoulies had the same style of creature,this one attempts to build off the thematic story of the first but just ends up making a lame, lame procedural flick with two dopey imp-like sidekicks.
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John Goodman has a really small cameo at the end of Chud. He is also looking rather slender at the time, but it was the early 80s.
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and I read King's introduction to the story. Frankly, I have to say that he must have been completely off his fucking tits when he went there. It's a dull place. No potential for uncapped evil at all. Just lots of accountants. That Dreamscapes episode was horrid as well. I seem to remember it having the worst Cockernee accents since Dick van Dyke, chim-er-knee sweep to the stars hung up his long brush.
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The first one had a theme? Fuck me, I completely missed that. The good Mrs Jarv has spread Lifeforce around her workplace. She did good work with the Lep films- the cunts kept trying to borrow me pot of gore, and Deathstalker, but this was unexpected. It's a bit of a waste actually, because their recommendations are always unmitigated shit. And I always have to watch them. So far we've had Brown Bunny, Edge of Reason, Sliding Doors, The English Patient and soom bollocks called Black Oleanders (I think). Oh, and Tie me up, Tie me down- which I watched twice and still didn't understand. Almovadar is overrated, frankly.
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I want to see some love from everyone for THE STUFF. A devastating satire on 80's consumerism disguised as low rent shlock about Alien Yoghurt. If you haven't seen it make sure you do.
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I'm glad Roland Emmerich makes his movies so I can know the things I'd rather not see in theaters. Such as: spectacle over character, slumming actors, poorly researched science, and utterly forgettable milktoast disaster stories.
But I'm still glad he's out there. He along with Uwe Boll, Michael Bay, and Brett Ratner. They all provide material to compare good stuff to. -
Only good thing about it- Holographic DVD Cover that morphed between friendly snowman and evil one. It made children cry in the local Blockbusters. The film itself: rubbish. As the Doc says, they even fucked up a snowman-in-shower rape scene. How do you fuck up comedy gold like that?
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Believe it or not John Goodman started off as a model.
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If you've ever heard Patton Oswalts rant about writing a screenplay, I think this movie falls into that category. Hmmmm, just looking into Jack Frost and I noticed that the director wrote the script for Identity which was a pretty good flick and this upcoming movie Shelter, which is getting press attention? This movie Shelter though is directed by the guys who directed this Sweedish movie called Storm. It was all over the banner ads here like a month ago. And I saw it and it was probably one of the worst movies I've seen recently. It didn't make ANY sense. It started out kind of like Wanted where this guy is brought into like a comic book come to life, then turns into this overcoming his pass mistakes in life and its just stupid. Don't be fooled like I did, even though I say I'm above banner ads, that mother fucker got me.
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If anyone is here, has anyone seen or heard of a Bruce Campbell post apocolyptic future where humans live under the earth? Its a cheesy b-movie with a lot of 80's style gore...or so I remember. I can't find it anywhere and none of the movies on Bruce's IMDB page seem to match up with what I saw. Anyone still reading this a big Bruce fan?
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That would be Mindwarp, with the awesome Angus Scrimm in it as well.
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awesome.
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Y'know, I've never gotten all the hate for Van Helsing. Occasionally, when my friends and I are bored, we pop that one into the DVD player and just sit back and dig the silliness. I sincerely think that Stephen Sommers knew exactly what he was making; that is, an overblown, cheesy, ridiculously over-the-top "living cartoon," aimed as a cockeyed tribute to the monsters of the past. If I wanted to make a total and utter jackass out of myself, I'd claim that Sommers was -- whether intentionally or unintentionally -- attempting to use a silly, overblown comedy adventure as a mechanism for deconstructing horror-film archetypes. However, the film is stupid, and because I'm intelligent, I can kick back and enjoy it in all its goofy-ass glory. So in conclusion, I don't get the hatred. I may consider myself an intellectual in many respects, but when I saw the opening windmill scene, I was laughing my ass off. Not derisively, just laughing, having a good time, and digging the ludicrousness of it. And I'm pretty sure that's exactly what Sommers intended: Care-free, purely self-indulgent entertainment. So for me, the film works and is a success. And no, I don't believe in just switching my brain off when I watch films. I keep my brain on. But I refuse to shut off my heart and Van Helsing had plenty of heart, if nothing else.
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Campbell has alot of B-movies Im not sure many know about. Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat. Maniac Cop 2. And the sci-fi craptacular Moon Trap wherein Walter Koening and a bearded Bruce go to the moon to battle robots, who much like the nemesis in Virus, show up as small units and use the debris and material around them to construct themselves into giant towering monoliths of destruction. Complete with Walter Koening sex scene in the moon temple with a girl he met five minutes previous.
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Larry Cohen is awesome, and I quite like the Stuff. However, Im definitely going to say that Q was better as b-movie goodness goes. God Told Me To was also intriguing. It's Alive always felt a bit silly, when it was going for serious.
Don't see too much out of Cohen these days, though I know he did a Masters of Horror a little while ago. Pick Me-Up I believe, which also featured Fairuza Balk.
But hail the 80s when Cohen was working with his muse, Michael Moriarty on almost everything. -
You may have a point. I saw the movie once in the theater and started laughing(not derisively) at the windmill sequence, and all through the movie. When the carriage leaps the cliff with horses in tow and lands safely, I burst into laughter as did my friend next to me, but the douche who accompanied us(a friend of a friend, marginal aquaintance) actually punched me in the arm and started screaming shut the hell up over and over, to the point that an usher asked him to stop. This guy was so pissed, that it eventually rubbed off on me, and I just sat there attempting to take it as a serious action movie and getting angrier and angrier at both this waste of my time, and the waste of skin next to me. After the fact, he explained that he didnt understand how we could laugh through such a serious action movie. I kid you not. He did not understand that it was tongue in cheek at all. Which made me question it. Was it tongue or cheek, or was it intended as serious, and therefore horribly inept? But, I think I was right originally, and you are right now.
Sommers went over the top and beyond. It might not always be pretty, but I think he knew where he was going unlike say, LXG, which just ended up that way. Maybe I owe that flick another watch.
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Wooden bullets! Awesome!
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I fucking LOVE Moontrap! Walter Koenig and Bruce Campbell vs ancient killer robots on the Moon! It's cheap as hell but there's so much love poured into that film. The frozen Moon chick's hooters don't hurt either.
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that Roxburough's Count looked like K.D.Lang meets Bono with dimestore fangs.
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You should have have stabbed that shitheel in the mouth with a pencil.
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=worst Dracula ever.
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...it was probably talkbacker Anna Valerious you were sitting next to. She's a "sommersverse" freak/apologist and somewhat... mannish.
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I can't even remember the movie anymore, not one single scene. I knew Hugh Jackman was in it and that's it. I just remember sitting there with friends wondering how such an incoherent mess became a studio's summer tentpole film. We barely got through it.
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so much so that it inspired me to go through several moon related movies that were not so hot. It is interesting though, when you are versed in trash, the similarities you start to see in other work.
For instance, Moontrap clearly seems like Virus(but much better) and the other moon movie, Dark Side of the Moon was very much like Event Horizon. Dark Side was ridiculous though, postulating that the Bermuda Triangle opened out on the dark side of the moon, and was the home of the devil, who decided to catch himself a space craft ride, and would occasionally leap out of someones chest(offscreen) through a triangle shaped hole(Im not kidding) that he ripped in their stomach. -
do you mean that like there are a group of people somewhere who dress up or adore Stephen Sommers stuff? I assume it's a joke term, but I do confess the concept visualized in my mind was pretty funny.
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Fucking HORRIBLE. Awful, swful shite. A complete waste of good B-movie material. Where to begin, aside from Draculs... Well, Frankenstein's monster was horrible, the whole idea of the only way to kill Crapula with a werewolf bite was also horrible. Wolverine was as wooden as a table, but seemed to think he was being funny. The Q character made me want to kick the TV out of the window. And worst sin of all: I actually fell asleep in the fucking thing. You should have stabbed that shitheel with a pencil. As 2true has spoken, so shalt we do.
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when I look back that's my experience, though I was trying to have fun with it. Seems like I might have hated it regardless of whom I was with.
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that in all the time since I never felt compelled to watch it, even when it was on tv,etc.
It could have been a great summer movie too. Oh well, we will always have Monster Squad and that IS a fine piece of monster work. -
No joke. TB-er Anna Valerious (who looks in the flesh less like a woman than Mr. T), coined this irritating phrase to describe the creatively bankrupt world of Sommers movies. She was unwise enough to publish Kosplay pictures of herself (here!!!! for fuck's sake) dressed as, I can only presume, Van Helsing. I would find them for you but they are so retina scarring that you would want to maim me. Since Van Helsing 2 was announced as DTV, she started a campaign with a group of like-minded cretins to get it promoted to theatrical release. Thankfully this failed, and I've got a feeling that it was never made. Funnily enough, the only SOmmers movie she doesn't like is the magnificently stupid Deep Rising. Which hits a lot of the so bad it's good buttons.
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anthology films..the good..the bad..the ugly...?
Lets throw some obscure ones out first:
Into the Badlands
Deadtime Stories
The Willies
The Offspring
Grim Prairie Tales
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I like Sommers original Mummy best of his stuff, and Jungle Book was good, but DR is good stuff too. LOVED the ending. But Sommers good output currently ends there.
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and in my mind I pictured something Cosplay related but never imagined you were serious. I'm gonna lay of Anna V, because I suspect sympathy is more the order of the day there.
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SOmmers made Jungle Book?Wow.
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Imagine a Dump-truck dressed in badly fitting home made clobber. That's it. Now imagine that it's staring at the camera with it's best "come hither" look. Still with me? Now if you can, imagine that the badly made stuff is actually showing some cleavage. There you have it. Truly, truly horrible.
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Seen it. Hmmm, Not the best. I like the crazy old Hammer anthologies meself. Talking about British films of that period- The Beast Must Die: when they stop the clock at the end, we play a drinking game where everyone gets an option and whoever draws the beast must drink as fast as they can from the time the beast is drawn to the reveal. It's deadly.
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It always seemed wierd that Dourif and Jones were in that. One of the few times the frame story is better than the tales. The stories had potential, but none were finished. Only one truly haunting moment involved the guy and the pregnant girl. What was up with that?
Beast Must Die. I remember seeing that as a kid. I used to peruse the tv guide looking for monster movies. I saw this title, and convinced me family to sit down and watch it with me. And it wasn't at all what I expected. Nary a sign of anything til the end. Loved it though, and even after that one viewing way back in the early years I can still recall the ending and many of the sequences. -
That's the one with Joe Turkel and the computer shaped like a hot woman in leather, right?
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Treat Williams stole the show.I need to watch that one again. I didn't realize Sommers had directed it.You guys watch way more B-movies than I do. My B-movie knowledge is mostly 1950s stuff like Them! and Tarantula.
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Actually, the bit with the "pregnant" woman is pretty good.
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I don't stand a prayer at getting that one past Mrs. Jarv's Lovefilm radar. I've got Amadeus and The Crow this week, because of her sabotage, which isn't too bad. Although it is a bit of a strange combo.
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So gloriously dumb.
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...isn't Moontrap on DVD? The mind boggles.
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It's probably mostly better that way for you. Most of the truly good B-stuff either happened in the 50s or the 70s and 80s. Not much these days that really garners a look see. I don't go out for it like I used to, but carry around a ridiculous catalog of it in my head.
FMB: I did, but it didn't help me too much. Good site though. Since I saw some Explorers fans on the Wall-E board, AICN is probably a good place to bring this back up.
Help people. How does one go about getting an inexpensive copy of Dante's Matinee on dvd. And barring that, how do we get it re-released?
For those who don't recall, Matinee is the flick with John Goodman as a William Castle type who brings his new movie Mant to town at the same time as the Cuban Missle Crisis. It's a classic. -
where the storyteller was revealed (in one of Hammer's shittest ever reveals- which is saying something) TO BE DEATH MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA It also had very unconvinving killer plants. It's very hard to make convincing killer plants, but these ones were especially bad. There was a reasonably funny British spoof programme called Dr Terrible's House of Horrible (not unlike Garth Merenghi's Darkplace) that spoofed them all.
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If you're region-free, which there isn't any excuse not to be, you can get a cheap copy from amazonUK for a couple of pounds. It may be 4:3, though.
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to release fierce people in the UK. I loved the book, and Diane Lane makes me happy in the pants. But they won't.
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That's the one with Peter Cushing telling stories, right?
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that isn't a bad solution. I am region free so I might try it.
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and it was called Dr. Terrors House of Horrors despite having Cushing named Dr. Shrek and it taking place on a ...train.
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on Dr Terrible:
http://tinyurl.com/62wk33
I know it's wikipedia, but it was reasonably funny. -
...experience, check out Night Train to Terror. They took three incomplete, shit horror movies and spliced them together with atrocious God vs Satan book-ends and an AWFUL 80s band performing on the train where the confrontation is taking place. Hilarious and disturbing. It stars Richard Moll and John Philip Law, which is a good thing.
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is the fact that within 2 minutes it's fucking obvious that Death is dealing the Tarot cards. Yet like toolboxes they all sit and listen to their progressively more silly stories. And they were dead all the fucking time. Which takes the sting out of it a bit. But really, unless they're triffids, Killer plants are a bad idea.
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was the one with Chris Lee and Michael Gough. The Hand.
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...how great is this talkback?
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*sigh* bad rock, incomprehensible bookendings. Marvellous. A few months ago, there was Witchfinder General on British TV- they were doing a history of British horror and somehow failed to mention the Descent- and they made a big deal of it. For some reason I hadn't seen it. It's suprisingly intense, Vincent Price is awesome, and the ending is beyond disturbing. A top film. Pity the director offed himself.
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did not fare well in the 80s. Anyone here see Dungeon Master? Maybe the worst fantasy movie ever made? Moll played the devil, or a wizard, or something...
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Dungeon master was just shit. Sorry, I just can't like it. I'm working late, so will be on here for a bit,
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Memories will now turn up and post trollish polemics about how all the B-movie badness that we love is actually cinematic talent/ debasement of the human race. In broken but strangely patronising English. He'll call me something indecipherable and I'll lose it again.
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No love for Peter Cushing?
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...all you fine folks front and center for each and every Tales of the Ancient Empire talkback between now and its future release.
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with Will Ragsdale, pre-Fright Night? That was a good one.
And yes Dungeonmaster was just bad. Not good bad. -
Dungeons and Dragons. Completely missed the point of what makes these things great. There was no nudity, bugger all violence, and a fucking Wayans brother.
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pretty bad as well..
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Matthew Hopkins Witchfinder General on his list. He should really.
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Am I the only person in the civilised world that could not give a fuck about Wall-E? It feels that way round here at the moment.
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Have any of you seen the Pakistani film, International Guerillas? The "plot" revolves around Israeli agent (!) Salman Rushdie and how a team of heroes dressed as Batman (!) do battle with him? The finale has, I shit you not, Rushdie being destroyed by flying, laser-shooting Korans -- a bit like the end of Raiders, except hilarious and rubbish.
I couldn't have made that shit up if I wanted to. -
Yep, hated that one. You know a movie is bad when Thora Birch in scale mail and a bald Bruce Payne in blue lipstick doesn't make it compelling.
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Actually, it is a great movie.There is cuteness, but there is much more going on there, and it's the only Pixar I can think of where there is a significant amount going on that doesn't equal=kid's flick. Im not talking about subtext or the message-all Pixar's have that. I mean there is a significant sci-fi story being told that completely bypasses the cute robots. The beauty is the way the robots navigate this larger story almost completely aware only of one another, and not the bigger picture. In that, you have the set-up that reminds everyone of Chaplin. It's a terrific movie and I don't think it has been overrated here. And that's saying something.
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I remember that being released. It was about the time of the Fatwa and caused riots in places like Bradford. I saw it, and hated it. I think I was too young (being only 13) to understand the subtlety of the screenplay, or the nuanced central performances. It was a half baked retaliation to the Satanic Verses, as I remember, and is well worth a look.
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Dungeons and Dragons or Aragon. How do you screw up a movie with Malkovich AND Irons? D&D was another of those projects were Hollywood suits decided to spit all over the source material and churn out a turd. A Wayans brother? Really?
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As I've never seen an episode of Dr. Who, new or old?
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I just caught Them! a couple of nights ago. I just love it when they shoot the antennas off the first ant they encounter. Antenna doesn't get blown off, mind you, just gets sort of bent and floppy.
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They can't make shitty fantasy movies like they used to. Thankfully I haven't seen D&D.
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...If Looks Could Kill? Am I the only one who wants that on DVD? I know it stars that asshat, Richard Grieco, but it also has Linda Hunt whipping Roger Daltry to death in the opening scene. It also has the amazing yellow bikini woman from Piranha 2. Plus the hero is called Richard Corben and the villain is called Steranko.
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Glad to hear it's not just me. Regarding Dr. Who: it's part of our cultural psyche. Much of it is complete tosh, and the special effects have always been bad (although this time it's light years away from how it was). It does, and always has, however, had some of the most frightening stuff you can see in a family programme. Obviously the likes of Daleks blow, but if you have a kid- show it Blink. There's no effects and it is genuinly creepy. Nowadays I'm not such a fan as I was when I was a kid (and my Dr was Sylvester McCoy FFS), as I think that frankly it may as well stick a feather up it's ass, grab a rainbow flag, move to San Francisco, and join a gay pride parade. And there is no reason, ever, to think Wales is important. These are 2 things bought in by Russel T Davis, who is (and this may astound you), gay and Welsh. It is, when on form, fucking good television. And it is about 1 million times better than the bastard spin-off Torchwood. Which is like deliberately slamming your head in a car door. Basically, for us- Dr. Who= culturally important, can be great, mostly shit.
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I've seen that. It's great. Roger Daltry really picks some terrible roles.
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Jul 08, 2008 12:20:39 PM CDT
As a kid the local station had 50s b-movies on every
by hawaiian organ donor
Friday at midnight and the Blob, Them!, Tarantula and Black Lagoon were cycled almost continuously. Those movies are the fondest part of my childhood.
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Nope, don't worry about it. Who is only the longest running sci-fi series ever and this is a geek site ;)
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Fred post this in intesrest of causing heart attacks and screaming hissy fits in fanboys all over. IMDB has link to 'script' by MBay - read and laugh or weep incoloably about kiddiehood being raped by werebaywolves. http://my.spill.com/profiles/blog/show?id=947994%3ABlogPost%3A355506
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sigh, great times, great times.
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I need to get my hands on more oldie but goodie sci-fi silliness.
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MBay writing Dark Knight. Anyway You get point. http://tinyurl.com/56dgxq
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I have that combo as well..it's a beautiful thing.
There is a collector's set, Ill have to look it up, that you can get for a decent price that has several oldies but goodies in it. Monolith Monsters was among them. A horror film about rocks that grow.Harry featured it in a dvd collumn a month or so back.
And since we are talking schlock, its time for the token mention of "The Giant Claw". And "Night of the Lepus". -
Saw If Looks Could Kill once, thought it was entertaining but that was back when I found just about everything entertaining.Which probably explains why I liked the other Greico early 90s movies, Mobsters, which I only saw once as well.
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why a mason jar? Is there something special about a mason jar that I'm not getting? I'm usually good at obscure references, but this one is going right over my head.
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...he was in those wonderfully awful rubber dinosaur movies from the early 1970s based on Edgar Rice Burroughs books. Can't go wrong with cleavage, cavemen and rubber reptiles.
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I like the new as well, but when I was a child, I was actually spooked by the dimly lit, taped cardboard and foam costumes.
Also, for old b-movie fans, there is a 20 dollar box set of 3 Honda flicks totally worth it. There is Varan the Unbelievable, which is just so-so(clearly the filler) but Mysterians is cheesy GOLD and Matango: Attack of the Mushroom People is actually a good movie-haunting and thoughtful. In fact, even if you dont get the box set-put Matango on your netflix queue if you are any kind of sci-fi or horror fan. Seriously. -
Bleeders that is the wrong side of awesome. It's just minging. And I didn't get how incest was a cure for Haemophilia.
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Fred just watched Star Wars last night. That true oldie.
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Pickle jar was taken.
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But Mrs. Jarv is being most unreasonable about it. She still blames me for Silent Hill. Even though she bought it. She thought it would be a nice surprise, as I loved the games, but now knows to ask me first.
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Un-fucking-watchable.
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when he eats the foetus that's been in the formalin (probably next to poor freds abused gonads), I nearly threw up. A candidate for worst film ever. Righto, fuck this, I'm off home. Keep fighting the good fight people.
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You know that it is sort of shit, but the kid in you still loves it. When on form, it can be magnificent.
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I've just ordered the original Thing, the double feature of The Monster that Challenged the World/It! The Terror from Beyond Space, and C.H.U.D.I'm so happy now.
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Jul 08, 2008 12:36:54 PM CDT
Rutger REALLY needed the money doing Bleeders
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
That why Fred not become movie star. Fred knows Fred would wind up doing Moonbeam Zombies on the beach part 4 and hawking Tongue cleaners on TV when Fred;s career died an unnatural death, but Fred still had three ex-wives and twelve childern (none of them Fred's cause Freds balls are in a jar) and four dogs and a goat to support.
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That is an all around good time you just ordered up my friend. Want a side of Killer Shrews with that? Or some Crawling Eye for dessert?
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Giant rocks terrorizing people. Fred not joking.
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I have to pace myself. It makes me so happy to find two movies together for like $10, such quality B sci-fi movie goodness wrapped together in a cheese sandwich.
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remember...M-A-T-A-N-G-O.
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Didn't MST3k do a show on that one? I swear that's how I've seen it.
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Fred Like Vampy - the comic book, not the movie.
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Jul 08, 2008 12:55:14 PM CDT
Will Fred be banned for never having watched MST3K?
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Fred love oldie sci fi. Fred inherit from Mom bad taste in b movies.
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Last talkback everyone kept mentioning mystery films they couldnt recall the names of. Was quite a bit of fun. Any takers?
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So are you all in agreement that that is it? Yeah after reading the IMDB plot outline, thats gotta be it. I wonder why I didn't think that was it before?
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It is def Mindwarp. No doubt. It was early 90s though, I think.
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I think I am with Harry about this one, because I've never seen that much of MST3K, its certainly lead people to believe that they are a lot funnier then they are, and that there stupid comments are funny.
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I think MST3K did for some, what many of us already knew by the time it showed up...there is value in badness. I recall the first time my dad and I saw it-they were skewering Ator: The Fighting Eagle, which my dad and I had rented and watched together many years prior, and laughed back then. If you learned to have an interest in schlock based on it, then good. If you learned how to mock every movie you see incessantly regardless of whose around, then you got the wrong message.
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I found it highly amusing to see them make fun of some movies that I had already seen. Ator is a great example. And believe me, their shit was pretty funny after recovering from a hangover.
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...as clueless as usual.
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or something like that.
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Don't know if you've seen The Thing from Another World before, but it truly is a great, great B-movie. I can watch that film over and over again. Kenneth Tobey was the shit. Thank God the DVD release is the reconstructed version they released on laserdisc during the 1990s.
"Close the door!" -
...with Pia Zadora!
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I've seen it a bunch of times, but when I saw the price on amazon, I had to have it.
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And I remember them doing a ton of Gamera movies.
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It was on Spike TV too. Here's the pic of an angry Santa!
http://tinyurl.com/65vmld -
When Santa explains the problem with the timezones at the North Pole, priceless..And taking the time to actually disinfect the stripper pole before he weilds it as a club. Brilliant.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FKrsAFWPnl4Love how he used the Christmas star.
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that opening where Santa wastes Fran Drescher, Chris Kataan, Rebecca Gayheart and James Caan...drowning the Nanny the in a punchbowl, after lighting her head on fire via wine and a candle.
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as we continue to recognize the placement of future stars..Emily De Raven from Lost is here.
And it was messed up of Santa to kill Saul Bellows with the menora.
Love him getting impatient with old lady driver while steering his battle bison on to destruction. -
...bad fantasy movies to a certain extent wouldn't be complete without mentioning Hawk the Slayer, a personal favorite and timeless craptacular. Honestly, is there a bad movie as consistently entertaining as HTS? It also has one of the greatest lines ever in a movie:
"I'm no messenger, but I'll give you a message -- A MESSAGE OF DEATH!"
That's right up there with Steven Seagal's "I'm going to take him to the bank -- the blood bank!" -
But that opening scene is rather amusing, though I would have preferred to see Kataan play it more straight there. The initial punting of the dog, followed by Caan's look of "that's fine by me" was great.
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But that sounds hilarious. That's a must see.I can't believe I have to defend my position on Pearl Harbor again. I admire the scene for it's technical merits. They built hulls of the ships, they had hundreds of actual actors running around, the scenes of Zeroes straffing the airfield with perfectly timed explosions........it's all very impressive. So, last time I'll say it. The movie was TERRIBLE. But from a technical perspective, Bay & Co. get kudos from me for what they pulled off with practical elements, something Lucas and Spielberg failed to do on Indy 4. When I watched that scene a couple years ago I wasn't thinking how thrilling it was but paused it multiple times and wondered, "How did they pull this off?"
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...is unusually good in this day and age of really bad horror movies.
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OK, you have me in tears. What Seagal movie is that from?
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Fucking balls. Speaking of Pearl Harbor, I hate to admit it. But Micheal Bay not winning special effects for Transformers to a 20 year coke commercial was totally asinine. Bay is on the Oscar voting committee, he probably made sure he didn't win so Fan Boys couldn't nay say him. But he was all about getting that MTV Movie award for best movie. Has anyone seen The Gingerdead Man? Or that Stan Winston movie A Gnome Named Gnorm?
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But I am completely and utterly sold after watching the trailer....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8Ra6TsdEts&feature=related
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May have to go to Best Buy tonight and see if they have it
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I should know that.If I was half the man I claim to be I'd go home and watch Seagal toss Screwface down the elevator shaft.
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The trailer is nothing -- NOTHING -- compared to the genius of the actual movie. Jarv will back me up on this.
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But I think the trailer does show the promise of something "good" in that movie. I just love the graphics of the hawk flying.It makes me smile.
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with Anthony Michael Hall. It always was odd to me how wierd the gnome looked. Not cute at all, more like some almost actual animal. Now that I know Stan was involved it make sense. Movie was dumb, but points for a scene where AMH commandeers a vehicle for a police chase, only to just realize he has taken a hearse, along with a whole funeral procession. And he just didnt notice. Right. And then of course the whole procession takes place in a high speed chase.
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Scenes that are recycled from other movies. Such as the installation explosion in Under Siege 2 being the exact same footage of the refinery blowing up from On Deadly Ground.I think Star Trek also did this with a Bird of Prey exploding.
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and should always be viewed with Yor:Hunter from the Future. Yor even had a song that wanted to be like the "Flash" song by Queen, but instead kept yelling "YOOOR" throughout the tune. Not quite the same.
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was just a few scenes of new stuff created around clips from the old movies. And yet it was pawned off not as a collection, but it's own movie. Hows that one?
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Fred wishes Fred could comply with request to remove Fred's balls from jar, but alas some things are beyond even the power of Buckaroo Banzai to reverse. However, Fred will get Santa Slay at very first opportunity.
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That's some serious gore for a supposed big-money-machine. Way more fucked-up than he ever looked in the comics....just ...fucked ...up
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Fred hope 'Brits' not offensive, seeing as how Fred said Brits twice, oops, three times. Fred has question.
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Jul 08, 2008 2:29:40 PM CDT
Pillow thinks Fred will have to wait until tomorrow morning
by just pillow talk
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Watched Meet Bill with Aaron Eckhart last night. He pulled the old Deniro tactic of putting weight on and then taking it off for the role. Unfortunately, the movie was sort of awful.And I have no interest in looking at the pictures. I want to be surprised when I see the movie. In the fall.
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No need to spoil anything else related to that movie.
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even though all this talk of B movies has me leaning in quite the opposite direction...
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Has anybody but me seen a terribly bad but great Spanish, low budget, action film from the 80's or maybe the late 70's called 3 Fantastic Supermen?It's fucking fried gold on a shit sandwhich bad. Three dolts run around in spandex and weak little cloth capes fighting crime using things like Bolas and I guess what's supposed to be Spanish Kung Fu? Am I the only person that has seen this craptastic piece of fried cheese Batman ripoff?Now maybe it didn't make it to the states because I watched it in Mexico as a kid, but if you can find this shit burger, its fucking amazingly bad/fun.
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Fred has learned patience. Fred can wait.
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You can do the b-movies on the weekend.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9sz_x7BJ7CoI just love the look of the third fantastic supermen.
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That's bordering on Bollywood bad.And no one here can come up with a worse movie than the Bollywood remakes of Fight Club and Oldboy, complete with dance numbers.
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Fred not know movie, but when Fred looked it up Fred saw whole bunch of other B to Z craptasterpieces like Deep River Savages
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I can't believe they have that 3 Fantastic Supermen on youtube. I was beginning to believe it was something I imagined seeing. It was truly, horrifingly bad but oh so good. I was like six or seven and watching it in a crap movie house, in I think, Guadalajara or Mazatlan Mexico. Everybody in the theater was laughing at it and having a good with how bad it was. Ah, the memories!Freds_Balls: to save you some time, drop the _2 off of my name or just write Xi.
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'Blind Fury'. Awesome movie and Lucas stole the climatic kill shot for Darth Maul's death in the Episode 1 duel.Just wanted to throw that out there.
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Dear lord. What a wrong-headed, wierd a** movie. The title character ratboy was sort of repulsive and not a cute little boy who happened to look like a rat. He was basically an animal that sort of behaved like a human. He wasn't even really intelligent if I recall correctly. It was such a downer for children, who seemed like it's target audience. Did it even have a target audience?
On wierd kid's flicks, Peanut Butter Solution anyone?
And Three Fantastic Supermen deserves it's own talkback. Saw it shown in pieces at a friends house once, who felt like he had stumbled on the holy grail of trash.
And let's talk Super Inframan? A superhero who unbeknownst to him, had a hole in the crotch of his costume all movie long. -
You can call Fred, Fred. Did Fred read you are deployed, as in the Army?
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but again, he never was enough like a human that you sympathized with him. It was more like someone being terribly mean to a dog or something for two hours. Probably more sorrowful as a result.
That was a movie I had pushed out of my mind. You know..I think Big Rog reviewed it...I'll be right back. -
Jul 08, 2008 3:10:03 PM CDT
Yes! Inframan - Jonah Echo beat Fred to punch on that one
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Fred Loved Inframan!
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He has basically the same idea we did. Heres the review. He gave it two stars.
Ratboy" is a perplexing movie about a perplexing hero - a little creature that is half human and half rat and combines all of the least interesting characteristics of both species.
The rat boy lives in a garbage dump somewhere in the hills above Los Angeles, in a hovel furnished like a cross between a tree house and a rec room. Then he's flushed out by a couple of yahoos who think they can make millions by exhibiting him, and the movie turns into sort of a mini "King Kong" - complete with the scene where the creature breaks loose at the ceremony where it is being exhibited to the public.
I guess the rat boy himself is supposed to stir the same sorts of emotions, as E.T. or Pinocchio - miniature quasi-humans with high spirts and loneliness in their eyes. But the key ingredient in any fable like this is the story of how the creature originated. Unless we can complete the sentence "He is like this because . . ." we are looking at a freak instead of a protagonist. And the rat boy remains unexplained throughout the entire movie.
Instead, the film turns into an attack on the crass commercialism of modern American society, with special emphasis on the media. Sondra Locke, who directed the film, stars as a slick operator who hopes to benefit from her friendship with Ratboy. She meets him by posing as a reporter, but before long she's a full-fledged promoter, renting a Los Angeles theater so Ratboy can have his own press conference.
The implications of a true rat boy are fascinating; remember what Francois Truffaut made of his "wild child," and how intriguing the resurrected Neanderthal was in "Ice Man"? The idea of being able to communicate with another species has been the subject of lots of movies, including "Day of the Dolphin" and countless science-fiction films. But "Ratboy" doesn't seem curious about that aspect of its story.
It turns, instead, into a formula thriller - in which Ratboy and his protector, Locke, are arrayed against a mixed bag of bad guys, and the movie cops out by ending in a big chase scene.
I don't know about you, but I'm very, very tired of chases - all except for the good ones, from Steven Spielberg or William Friedkin. If a movie has introduced me to interesting characters, I want the story to explore and resolve their problems, and I don't feel fulfilled just because everybody chases each other, and the right guys win. Chase scenes provide movies with terminations instead of endings.
I began by saying "Ratboy" was perplexing. One of the things that puzzled me was why Locke wanted to make this story in this way. She plugs a fantastical creature into a screenplay made up of standard-issue Hollywood characters and situations, and ends everything with a chase rather than an emotional resolution. What was the point? "Ratboy" is very odd, but not in an interesting way.
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As in The United States Marine Corps.
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lets hear some love for House II: The Second Story. Honestly, this one is one of my fave B movies. It has cool creatures, a pathetically 80s sensibility and a BRILLIANT cameo by John Ratzenberger. It even managed to play like a poor/insane man's Spielberg instead of a junky horror movie. I love this movie. I don't even want to call it a bad movie. Even has a nauseating turn by Bill Maher, with the director utilizing him for full smarm.
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I think we can agree House 2 is the best movie out there involving crystal skills.
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it was a good movie. And to tie John Lone into the B-movie train follow him over to The Hunted(the Chris Lambert one) and The Shadow, where he played a descendant of Ghengis Khan.
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Oh. Marnies! Fred always liked Marines. Fred have questions: Do all Marines get swords, or just officers? Do you fight giant insects that suck your brains out - of your skull that is?
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also had the best use of Royal Dano with exception of Something Wicked this Way Comes. Royal got props earlier when Ghoulies 2 got mentioned. Royal also showed up in Spaced Invaders and Killer Clowns from Outer Space.
House 2 had to be his biggest role. And PugWorm. How can you argue with PugWorm? If I could have any movie character created into a collectable toy, it would be House II's pug worm, but he would need to be soft, rubbery and probably a puppet for maximum value. -
Jul 08, 2008 3:29:29 PM CDT
Fred thought Arye Gross and Bill Maher were one in same
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
For a long time.
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no, don't need to see House 1. It's a slightly fun, but kinda junky horror comedy. It's a good time, but not on the same level of awesome as House II. House also has a Cheers cameo though, by George Wendt. Wendt is fine, but is blown away by Ratzenberger in the sequel. I can't even explain his cameo for fear of ruining it.
And tying to previous convs,Richard Moll was the villain of the original House.
And Brion James, god bless him, was in a non-related flick called Horror Show with Lance Henrickson that later got labeled House 3, allowing the House franchise to skip a legitimate House movie and make House 4 with William Katt back but a different character with the same name in a totally different house. But House 4 did have the Phlegm-O-Matic(it was called that in the movie) and the singing pizza-"I'm your Pizza Man!" -
was it's own unique creature, but yes, I think for wierd cuteness, Jean Baptiste Emmanuel Zorg's rainbow elephant would also make a great toy.
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I'm buying House/House II double set and having a crap movie night at my house. House II on the projector, baby! Like using oil paints to touch up the stairwell.
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1. Its 9:30 Pm where I'm at and we have computers here.2. Yesterday I was doing some admin crap and I had the computer to myself all day, so I posted.3. I have insomia so I post a lot late at night where I'm at.4. I post like 1/5 the amount I used to because from 29 Oct 06 through March of this year I was either in the Hospital, rehab joints or working part time as a floating NCOIC of recruiting stations, so I had lots of free time. Since I went back on full time active duty in April I slowed down with the posting. Until yesterday I have posted maybe once every couple of days and starting Thrusday it will be like two weeks untill I post again.
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NCO also have Dress swords. It a different pattern from the "Mameluke style" that Officers wear.
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You make me sad that I'm worthless and not doing anything in the amazing capacity that you are. Hats off to you good sir.Danny, do you cheer for the aliens and earthquakes in disaster movies?
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Jul 08, 2008 4:00:32 PM CDT
Xi, are you an officer or NCO, or a grunt?
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Is grunt the right term for Marine, or do you prefer jarhead? Fred hopes that not offensive, Fred likes Marines, they have best uniforms.
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For the most part, nobodys worthless, I'm sure you do a good job at whatever enterprise puts food on your table. Thanks for the kind words but its not anything amazing what I do, it just happens to be where my skill sets are, nothing more.
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I'm an NCO a Master Sergeant. Grunts are a term usually associated with Army Infantry but since the precision of the English language has degraded so much the word the word grunt has become synonomous with any Infantrymen regardless of branch of service.Yes sir we have the best uniforms its the one of the best recruiting tool we have. The Propaganda arm aka the folks who make the commercials pimp it hard.
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You mentioned how you care more about an animal's welfare than a person's (I'm right with you there, so much so that I became a vegetarian many years ago) and if you're anything like me you think humanity is a plague and therefore whenever there's a movie that signals our demise, I always root for the force of nature or alien invaders.
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The Signal is out on dvd. Has everyone here seen that? Cause if not, I highly reccomend it.
And I might be too late, but I think it's time to spread the wealth in another talkback. If you look at the mainpage you will KNOW which one I mean. -
Latitude Zero-yep, we have spoken on this one before. I think Xiphos was talking about robots and flying lions, and was pleased to inform him that this one has BOTH!
And Caeser Romero. How can you go wrong?
Cut-rate Buddy EbseN=Royal Dano. Right on the money.
Though it's rather well known, War of the Gargantuas was always a favorite schlocker. Especially the dubbed tv. version with the song "The Words get stuck in my throat" or something like that. -
His films lack tension, his work defies the will to defy convention.
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that in the Japanese variants of Frakenstein Conquers the World and War of the Gargantuas that the latter film is actually a sequel to the former? No really. The remainder of the frankenstein heart has split off somehow into two creatures-one mean and spiteful and one gentle. It was an actual sequel, though vaguely obviously, to the first film. I love them both. The Japanese version of Frankie has him also fighting an octopus beast after he bests Baragon.
In the early 2000s, Stan Winston hosted a show highlighting early fx work and they always played the really cheesy stuff: Invasion of the Eye Creatures, FCTW, Equinox, etc. -
Fred not make that up. Fred have question for Jonah Echo, Lost Jarv DocPazuzu et al. How do movies like Trail of Screaming Forehead, or Her Morbid Desires get made, where are thet shown. Fred lives in fairly big city and Fred never heard of these types of movies. Are they just DTV or is there some underground movue market. Fred remember Sybil Danning being big in B movies, before DTV and Fred never saw one of her movies until cable. Fred would like to know if Fred is missing more than just Freds balls.
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Fred want to know if you ever seen Carry On Screaming? Fred thought that was one of funniest Carry On movies ever. Monsters, ghoulies, and cleavage.
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Apart from, obviously, Carry on Emmanuelle and Carry on Columbus. Which were shit. Mrs Jarv hates all of them. Desribing them as "funny as a trip to a gyno". I pointed out to her that there is plenty of comic mileage to be had out of a stupid bloke going to a gynocologist, but that just got me a frosty look and ban on bedroom priveleges. Sometimes women don't have a sense of humour. On other crappy movies there's an absolute fucking stinker called Vampirefellas or something like that- it looks like it was shot on home video in a warehouse. And unsuprisingly features Vampire mobsters. They've all got really bad "fuhgeddaboutit" accents. It's great. And, on this score, where's the love for TROMA. Fuck me, Tromeo and Juliet, Chopper Chicks Take Zombietown, Class of Nuke Em High 3: The Good the Bad and The subhumanoid, Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell (hysterical- semi-naked chick has problems when "sometimes my juices flow" and has to escape the chewitt monster) and my personal favourite- Surf Nazi's must die. There's also some horrid sub-troma dreck out there- Femme Fontaine: Killer Babe for the CIA leaping to mind. Which is poo. The film is actually a 45 minute trailer for the film that repeats itself 3 times. Avoid. And she's minging. It should be called Femme Fontaine, killer pig for the cia.
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See Spaced for ultimate proof. Finally:
FUCK OFF MEMORIES. YOUR TEDIOUS RANT ON BAY HAS NO BUSINESS BEAN IN A TALKBACK ABOUT AWESOMELY BAD MOVIES. You have never shown the slightest sign of understanding the premise, and your presence here sullies the glory of such masterpieces such as House 2. FUCK OFF. -
that this TB is holding off the 2 forces of Tarantino and Wall-E. This is good.
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Red Dawn was on British TV last night. I hadn't seen it since the 80's and had forgotten how good it was. Despite growing up in San Fransisco, the wife had never seen it. WOLVERINES!
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this is shit. I'm spending more time here than at home. Pah.
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you are totally having a conversation with yourself
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Isn't the internet fun?
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and educational
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I derive more entertainment from reading these talkbacks than from all of Emmerich's movies combined.
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heh.
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Thank you very much for taking up on my account I appreciate it. The way I figure it if everybody dropped off the _2 then I got my name back. Once again, thanks for having my back.
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Jul 09, 2008 3:56:10 AM CDT
I'd like to go back to that twattish post of Memories, again
by lost jarv
If ever there is proof positive that the infected labia piercing doesn't understand what we are talking about it is this sentence: "If you guys take the attack on Pearl Harbor, the real attack, as basis for an exciting action scene, then you just completly lost all sense of perspective. That should not be fun, it should be horrible!!" This is so far off the mark, while still being completely correct, that it is amazing. What we are talking about is the visceral thrill of cinema. What memories is referring to is some deeper meaning/ message that Cinema should have. And this is one of the (many) reasons why he will never understand this.
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How's tricks?
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Have you seen the craptastic movie I mentioned above, the Spanish opus dedicated to shit, The Three Fantastic Supermen?
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I'm good my man. Thes next few post will be my last for a few weeks. We're going on an extended camping trip tomorrow.
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It's hysterical, Have fun camping. Well as much fun as you can actually have camping. And that's without war.
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I saw it in Mexico in the orginal Spanish and it was beyond hysterical, it might actually be the best worst movie ever made and that's saying alot! Of course I was like 7 seven then and thought it was the greatest thing ever.
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I swear I'm getting dumber by the day.
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That's for you Mr Jarv I saw you mentioned it above. Red Dawn was perhaps the shlockiest of 80's movies but it did have Powers Boothe, Patrick Swazye and C. Thomas Howell trying his best to be a tough guy plus Marty McFlys mom.
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I'd forgotten he was in it.
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I got some lions on my side so its all good. I apprecite the thoughts though, very much.
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I don't even remember that but the last time I watched I was in the hospital and under the influence of IV pain killers and antbiotics so Jesus christ himself could have been in it and I wouldn't have known it.
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don't you hate when you hit Enter instead of Tab?
anyway, I was gonna mention Charlie Sheen is Patrick Swayze's kid brother...
That's all I got -
died at the end sitting on the bench...with Patrick saying something like "we're gonna go home now".
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It was okay, but it seemed to be missing something for me, and I'm not sure I can put my finger on it. Perhaps it shouldn't have been from an eleven year old's perspective? Not that the kid wasn't okay, but I don't know...
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Jul 09, 2008 6:36:38 AM CDT
And I suppose I should have just read Greyskull's post
by just pillow talk
above, since he quite obviously answered the Charlie question.Fuck me, I believe I need some coffee now.
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to Tarantino bullshit thread.
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Jul 09, 2008 6:38:56 AM CDT
I think I won't get to 10,000 BC until tomorrow night
by just pillow talk
Even though that movie has been throughly slammed for being bland, I can't help but be a little giddy at the prospect of seeing dumbness on screen.
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I believe she got shot up by the helicopter when they were riding their horses.
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Hey could you keep an extra eye on the DBacks for me and clue me in if they make a trade for a bat?
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Me thinks they need two more bats....But never fear, they'll back into the playoffs anyways cause their division is oh-so-bad.The playoffs will be another story.
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I really clearly remember the mid-eighties and the rise of the NF. So maybe it means more to me. The kid will only have been a few years older than me. I thought bits of it were absolutely gripping, and the tension at the end when the NF leader turned on milky was palpable. Still, it would be dull if we all had the same opinions.
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is there any need to discuss (again) tarantino's pros and cons. I can't think of anything I'd rather do less,
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Sex and Death 101, its actually very funny. Was gonna watch Control last night but feel asleep, first night not watching a movie in a while.
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to the Pakistani store owner and have him apologize. Then have him toss the flag into the water...I think it would have completed his arc a bit more.
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And I hate how everyone likes to but the balls of that movie in their mouth and give them a good swirl before they are done talking about it. If they would put it on TCM instead of AMC ALL THE FUCKING TIME i'd watch it. Before Mad Men and Breaking Bad there was no reason for AMC to be alive. TCM is much better and Mad Men and Breaking Bad would be able to get away with a lot more if they were on that channel. I know I have dumb roomates because when ever I am not in control of the remote TBS or AMC is on.
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You must correct that. Now. Netflix. Blockbuster. Something. You can then shout WOLVERIIIIINE! as you attack your roommates and take away the remote from them.
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But first, Control was a great movie. Mentioning it though reminds me of Kontroll, from a few years ago. The same director later made Vacancy(which I liked). Anyone here see it?
And B-movie jumpstart:
Return of Swamp Thing.
Killdozer
Syngenor
Chopping Mall a.k.a. Killbots
Trog
Dinosaurus
Of Unknown Origin
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If it not too late, Fred wish you best over there or in Cuba or whereever you may be!
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Killdozer , and Dinosaurus from that list. Fucking lovefilm removed humanoids from the deep and swapped it for V for Vendetta, which wasn't even on the FUCKING LIST, honestly what's the point of the fucking list? they just keep sending us things they think we'll like and usually getting it wrong. Case in point: Ordinary People. How could they think the same people that watched the entire Lep series, Twin Peaks, Suspira, Rocky, and many other goodies would want to watch that? Anyway, where was I... Oh yes, so no humanoid goodness for poor old Jarv this weekend. Especially seeing as I had a nostalgia attack the other day and elevated The Crow into the other slot.
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Why do the CUNTS still not have Army of Darkness yet? It's pissing me off no end. Especially because they're pretending Beastmaster doesn't exist.
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sucked. Sorry man. Complete crap that wanted to be torture porn but didn't have the balls. What is distressing about Vacancy is that in the DVD extras there are all the murder tapes that you can watch. If you're a degenerate fuck, that is.
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I don't think his arc needed completing, as I thought it was pretty obvious that he was a broken kid. I like that ending of him looking at the ocean. I thought it was terribly sad. And the NF meeting scared the bejesus out of me. Those fuckers are like cockroaches, they never go away.
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Chalk me up as one who just plain didn't like V the movie, while I did enjoy Moore's GN. It was alright, but to me felt too much of the same sensibility that drowned the Matrix sequels.
I don't understand the geek love for it, frankly.
Best scene of Return of Swamp Thing, was Heather Locklear asking Swampie "Are you a plant?"
Speaking of Swamp Thing, a D.C. property, what about most obscure or silliest adaptations of comics?
At the fore you have Howard the Duck, but what about..
Dr. Strange
Captain America
The Corman Fantastic Four
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I thought it was a great movie, and agree that the ending is haunting.
The "torture porn" genre holds no interest to me. I guess that's why I liked much of Vacancy, it concentrated on the situation and not the torture. I'd have zero interest in watching those tapes. I didnt think it was a great movie, but it did have a strong sense of atmosphere and more than a little tension, but by the end most of that was ebbed away. It's like a 2 and a half star flick in my book.
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For a few weeks so take care everbody and thanks for the well wishes.Series7, about Red Dawn, just remember this, its not a good movie but its supurbly entertaining because of things like the following exchange:MartyMcFlyMoM: Who's on our side?Powers Boothe: "Five Hundred million screaming Chinese."MartyMcFlysMoM:'I thought there was a Billion Chinese?"PB: "There...was"
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I saw that recently and nearly cried with laughter. Brilliant
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I'd nominate Tank Girl as silliest comic adaptation,
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and God Bless. Take care of yourself..Looking forward to seeing you back here in a few weeks.
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that's a good mention.
What about faux comic book movies. Anyone here see Full Moon's "Dr. Modred" -
Fred really, really liked Captain America movie. They stayed true to source. Fred must buy it some day. The Corman FF was cheap, but it entertained, and it had a better Doctor Doom than the big budget movie. Was the Doctor Strange a TV movie along with Nick Fury?
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Take care Xiphos.
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I have a soft spot for the Corman FF. It's just fun and funny, which is good for a bad movie. The other 2 FFs didnt have the fun or funny going for them.
The Dr. Strange Im familiar with was a 1970's movie. He fought Morgan La Fey. Im not sure if it was tv or theatrical. It was super-cheesy. -
and how can you not like somthing with humanoid kangaroos that drink Spunk lager? Didn't the original artist/ writer of Tank girl go on to do Gorillaz?
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Complete rubbish. And I've been avoiding the Silver Surfer effort the way fat people dodge salad.
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I did not care for it. I thought it was boring for the most part. And the whole training sequence, just to make sure he could trust her i thought was really dumb. As for Red Dawn I've been meaning to watch it for a long time, I think my roomate has it. I nominate Judge Dredd for silliest comic adaptation. Because for the most part it has a lot going for it. Also its by far the best Rob Schnider role ever (did you know he's got a movie HE directed coming out?), and I think the first part of the movie is great. It was obvious that Danny was aiming for Russell Mulcahy like over the topness, but didn't go all the way with it for the end. Sly even admits to being let down with the final product, and blames the director. I think its funny that the Judge Dredd photo is Sly's photo for IMDB. I really got into the 2000AD comics while I lived in England, getting them from my local newsagents and all and I thought a lot of the movie fit in well with the kind of anything goes universe. And Sly nailed the character. Had Verhoven directed it, it probably would've been a classic.
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I've always thought of them as the cheesiest of all the big comic book characters of marvel, second dumbest thing next two JLA. I just never understood how a group of superheroes would ever have problems fighting one bad guy. At least in the X-Men world anyone could be a mutant. Like I don't know how you make a story longer then bad guys run a muck, JLA or Fan 4 stops them within the hour. Done. Especially since like the only issues with Fan 4 is the romance between Mr and Mrs and the Thing dealing with not being human. The Thing and Human Torch where both very good in both movies. They should go do some buddy movie, everything else about both of those movies were shit. Some of the special effects though where very good, also the use of Counting Bodies Like Sheep by a Perfect Circle in the very first teaser trailer to Fan 4 was an awesome idea that song is amazing. But the movies just fall apart some how, I blame Tim Story, and using Dr. Troy as Doom, McMahon could be a very good bad guy he just was not right for that part.
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see, I've so many problems with that film. I know 200AD really, really well and frankly, that was not Dredd. What they should have done is a 3 part Judge Cal story. Dredd was framed and exiled in that one, before Cal went completely batshit crazy (making a fish high Judge) and ordered the execution of the entire city, Dredd saved day. Or they should have just done either Rico or Angel Gang by themselves. Fuck, I'm a nerd. I hope the wife doesn't find out about this.
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Jul 09, 2008 9:10:26 AM CDT
Fred always confuse Demolition man with Judge Dredd
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Fred wonder why?
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There will be a documentary put out by Marvel about the history of there films. Because I would really like to see just how certain people get a hold of certain projects. I always find it frustrating how closed door and hush hush hollywood always is. And why very few people ever speak out about it. I mean there are satires and attempts, but what I don't understand is why if something sucks why as a human being you wouldn't speak up about it. Especially some rich movie star, I know its all about keeping your image and stuff and you don't want studios to think you are a liability. But I would like to see some tell all book from Stan Lee or some one like one of the Weinstein brothers talking about they did it for money or what. Why don't more actors pull an L L and flat out admit a movie sucks. I know its all surronded by confidentiality agreements, but at the end of the day how could you take those seriously. It too bad that whenever anyone speaks bad of hollywood they usually just come of as jaded in someway or as a nut job.
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It's just a bit, well, lame. And (I can't believe I'm about to say this) Sly had too much emotion for Dredd. Dredd is great satire (as is much of 2000AD), but the point is that he, and the rest of the judges, are totally unfeeling. Or they could have done Dredd's trip across Scorched Earth to deliver the vaccine to Mega City 2, or Judge Death, which is crying out for the B movie treatment- have you ever seen the origin of Judge Death? It's hysterical- when he gets appointed to court for 1 day and sentences everyone to death: Overseeing Judge: "You sentenced everyone to death! Why?" "They would have re-offended" "But that couple only came in for a divorce"
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Jul 09, 2008 9:20:58 AM CDT
Fred knows this is B movie TB now, but Fred saw Hellboy II
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Last night at sneak preview. Fred was underwhelmed. It not as good as first movie. It had more 'splosions and more monster fights and more Pan Labrynth type creatures, but it jumped the troll. They have a scene that is right out of Diagins Alley in it, that just made Fred laugh (derisively). It have huge plotholes too, and the humor that they try just falls flat - most of time. Fred disappointed. First movie have heart, this movie have more money, but lost it's way. Someine needs to tell GDT that he does not need to use the same look in every movie - his Pan's Labrynth look that is.
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was full of stories like that. Evans came across as a prick, to be honest, but it was still enjoyable.
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And I don't think Fred is plant for a rival studios. Plants don't have balls. Fred does. They're in a jar.I'm stealing "jumped the troll" By the way.
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I know what is good about Dredd. Just that movie was NOT Judge Dredd. Fuck I'm lame. I still like some of it, but it has big problems for me. (Says he backpeddaling like a son of a bitch)
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Yeah I don't know 2000ad a great deal, I just know that it had and anything goes style to it. Do they still make it?
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You can never have too much Snipes.
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Don't know to be honest. I grew out of comics when I discovered beer, cigs and women. I'm going to go and check. I hope so.
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So quit trying to be. It's lame and annoying.
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Fred thank you for advice.
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Yeah I've seen the movie, I guess I need to read the book though. I love both Demolition Man and Dredd, totally fergot that Schnider was in Demolition man as well... hahaha man Sly and him almost became like a comic action duo. I thought Sly played Dredd just right, because he always was the super serious all the time character. See Dredd and Demolition man are perfect examples of why I don't like action movies as much these days. Actors take themselves way too serious that an action movies no a days always have to be real. Thats why I liked the Condemded so much, everyone was going all out, just too much Matt Damon can't fight so lets quick cut edit everything style of editing.
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Yeah now that I've gotten over the wonders of beer/cigs/women I too have gotten back into comics. And to be honest they make a lot more sense then they did as a kid.
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Jumoped the Troll came to Fred during the "Diagons Alley" tyoe scene. Fred thought it was appropriate
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Fuck me. Cursed Earth. Whoops. Freudian slip of the keyboard then.
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2000AD does still exist. It isn't weekly anymore though and some American dick (no offence) wants to do a Judge Death spin off. The tool thinks it could be like The Killing Joke- thereby totally missing the point.
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Had heart? I agree with you about the comedy, for some reason its just just hitting with me. Like I feel like Hellboy should be a lot more vulgar instead of, I'm ugly WOO HOO! Plus I just hate HATE Selma Blair, shes always comes off as this vapid hole of where a person should be. She's in this new terrible looking remake of a british show fox has been pimping hardcore recently and every time she's on I want to punch the TV, but it seems like she's playing the perfect part. Also worsening the fact is that Molly Shannon is in it, the girl that stupid people think is funny (like Kristen Wiig).
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so even if I wanted to read comics again I can't afford to. I get what's good about Judge Dredd, Danny, it just represents one fuck of a missed chance. And that's what bugs me. Mind you, the same is true for V for Vendetta, LXG, From Hell and pretty much anything that's had the words "Based on ....... by Alan Moore" attached.
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And I'm with you on the Blair hate.
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Favorite Jude Dredd quote:
ABC warrior: Status?
Rico: Bodyguard.
ABC warrior: Commander?
Rico: Rico.
ABC warrior: Mission?
Rico: We're going to war.
ABC warrior: [eagerly] Warrr... -
Just looked up IMDB for that quote and there was a link to some 04 interview with Tom Cruise in which he talked about being Ironman and it said that he would be one of the biggest actors to put on tights and a mask. Empire magazine, you are stupid. You know they were just like, umm whats Ironman? A comic book. Ohh ok they he'll have tight a mask or some cape. Yeah sure. I guess some people really didn't know who Ironman was.
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Another awesome fact about Judge Dredd, the theme song was done by The Cure!!!! I really like the song, you can only get it on there like entire collection cd set... or download like everyone else. Its called, Dredd Song. I guess Manic Street Preachers were suppose to do the song, that would've been just as cool as well.
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That is exact point - the father/son relationship. Fred not spoil movie for you, but lets say, they try to recreate it a bit, it not bad, but because of way they did it, it really have no impact on rest of movie. This movie went with 'bigger is better' Which is always the wrong thing to do. For example the HQ has so many creatures being dragged through hallways - that it reminded me of MIB. The whole covert type status is blown and the feeling that the first movie gave of a close knit organization fighting in the shadows is torn asunder.
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Rob Schnieder...need i say more
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Have you heard Tears for Fears new stuff? Its all kind of folky (not the right word, but the best I can think of right now) sounding. Duran Duran should do it, now there new stuff still fits in with their old collection. Like Tears last cd came off as kind of a soft rock cd, insturments and stuff no keyboard and sythisizers.
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Yes, first movie have much heart and feel like it was one big extended family with black sheep, or red sheep. Second movie made it out to be a bureaucratic, supernatural MIB.
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Tears stuff doesn't sound like the old stuff at all. The best thing I can think of to relate it to is The Polyphonic Spree, but music wise, and only one vocal. Like the cd had one pretty good song and the rest was forgettable, while the whole new Duran Duran cd is great all the way through.
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Someone wanted to remake that unfunny piece of shit. The mind boggles.
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Who's seen both movies? I mean I guess thats the big thing in how well the comic is portrayed on the big screen.
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They give out freebie comic last night. Fred underwhelmed again.
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With nothing but b-movie talk is amazing. I hope everyone is doing well this not-so-fine day.Judge Dredd got some things right, but if I remember (haven't seen it in 10 years) it got more wrong.Assante and Von Sydow were great and Diane Lane looked hot as usual. It really needed to be a hard R-rated movie though.
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Kind of like Hawkwind. Not so much a band as a collective of loonies. Cheers H-O-D, that's what I was getting at.
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SOME ONE KEEPS FUCKING FAXING ME SOMETHING TO MY PHONE! My phone and fax number only have 1 number difference. But come on after 20 failed fax attempts you think you would stop! Its like a joke too, because the beep of the fax doesn't happen right away, but just enough time for me to get my greeting out to hear, BEEP! Mother fucker.
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badly. They're only interesting in the same way that fossils are interesting. And I grew up in the 80's. The 80's were great for some things, but music is NOT one of them. And don't pretend designer misery wank The Smiths are good.
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not answering my phone. was and R. If you check out IMDB its got some interesting trivia stuff about the movie. Turns out Manic Street Preachers released the song they made for Dredd.
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by the time I was musically aware Duran Duran were already having the piss ripped out of them. and don't forget the 80's is the decade that bought us the utter misery of Stock, Aitkin, Waterman and teh (s)hit factory. Rick Astley? please.
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and this is important- You're not English, so therefore were not exposed to the fucking misery that we were. Seriously, look at some of the absolute fucking dreck that topped the British charts throughout the decade. Kylie, Jive Bunny, Shakespeare's Sister, Men at Work, Jason FUCKING Donovan (who?you may well ask), Bros, etcI could go on with this, but the 80's was not a happy time for British music.
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Ever had a decade where they weren't making the most influential music? Maybe the early 90's but that wasn't the whole decade.
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So now...Judge Dredd is entertaining, even with the annoying little pussy ass bitch Rob Scheneider.It did, however, how the sexy Diane Lane in it. She could arrest me anytime.
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Is fucking terrible about beating you over the head with whats the most popular song of the moment. I remember when Wonderwall came out, and the radio was like, and for the fifth time this hour, WONDERWALL!
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Rob Scheneider was torable in Judge Dredd, even funny.
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I've meet Rob Scheneider. He's about 3-3 and 1/2 foot tall. Really, I meet him my senior year of high school and I towered over him. He was a really nice guy, granted it was an USO tour where they have to be nice. Also met Peter MacNicol who's as weird and awkward as he comes of in TV.
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I've met him because of where I live and a more disagreeable fucking chav you could not wish to meet. Cunt.
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a wonderful, wonderful time. I heard more great music, drank more crappy lager from a plastic cup, and shagged more dubious women then than ever again in my life.
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You're gonna be the one that saves me,cos after aaa-llllll, You're my WONDERWAA-LLLLL "Liam, What the fuck is a "Wonderwall" exactly?"
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Jul 09, 2008 11:11:33 AM CDT
The British contribution to music is second to none
by hawaiian organ donor
The problem is, many of the modern bands from the UK that I love (Manic Street Preachers, Feeder, The Feeling, Haven, Travis, A, Stereophonics, Delays, Scouting For Girls, Supergrass, The Thrills) are probably reviled by audiophiles across the pond. My iPod is mostly full of Britpop and I would pay good money to discover UK bands I'm missing out on.
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...Sarah Louise Young and Monique Covet. Not at the same time either.
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...Selma Blair either. Couldn't act to save her life. Trés overrated. Her chain-smoking habit isn't exactly endearing either.
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No musicians, no players in Hollywood, no athletes, no political giants. Nobody.I've seen some of the greats on the field or stage, but never met them. I've never even walked by "greatness."
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I'll be more than happy to hook up with Selma Blair after a night of her chain smoking her cigs and me chain smoking my cigars.We'll come together in disgusting, smokey, gag inducing bliss.
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Has me craving a Newcastle, a Macanudo and some live British music.Speaking of British music, one of the best performances I ever saw was a band called Moke. Too bad the Brits and Yanks had no use for them and forced them to disband.
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After a brilliant debut album they released a complete stinker. And then another. I stopped following them after that but I still listen to their first album frequently.
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Jul 09, 2008 11:35:14 AM CDT
Fred met Patrick Stewart, Ben Stein and Steve Young
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Patrick Stewart at Paramount lot. Ben Stein at L.A. car museum near Batmobile. Steve Young (American football player - retired) at a party.
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Patrick Stweart should live to 150, Ben Stein needs to stab himself repeatedly int he neck with a pencil until he either dies of lead poisoning or blood loss and Steve Young is one of the greatest QBs ever and helped the 49ers win the Super Bowl when they were still my team.
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same party
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Fred always loved Steve Young. Steve had just been inducted into hall of fame - unbeknownst to Fred, and was being congratulated. Steve was very hungry, and made his way to buffet, only to be pounced on by Fred while Steve attempted to stuff his face (Steves face not Freds) with a shrimp. Fred extended Freds hand, and Steve shook it while still eating. Fred Met Jerry Rice later that night, Jerry surprised Fred with how opne and nice he was. Not that Steve was not nice, but Steve was hungry and Fred was getting in his way of free eats.
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Use to baby sit me. too bad it wasn't Mr. T, that would have been sweet!
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Was he in-between jobs?
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for a brief time back in 95 I worked at a subway while in college. Alice Cooper dropped in. Sat and chatted with us over a turkey on wheat. The least diplomatic of our fellow employees asks him in the middle of the turkey, if he ever really bit the heads off birds. He laughed and said something along the lines of "birds are tasty." In actuality, he was a very nice, jovial guy and I'm amazed that he even bothered to hang about and talk. He was talking bout helping paint his daughter's house, etc. Was like running into a neighbor. He had little interest in being related to as a former rockstar. Which was nice. He seemed like a great guy.
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Anyone here see Monster Dog? One of the schlockiest things starring a well known name I've seen. It was made during Cooper's popularity too, not recently. I wish I had seen it before I met him. Would have asked him bout it for sure. It was a werewolf movie, and while incredibly cheesy, I actually liked it. Was creepy and fun.
I still recall the lyrics of the opening song:
"Sometimes I feel like Sherlock Holmes...sometimes I feel like Billy the Kid..I need a face...because mine's been erased." Don't know what the hell it meant, but then Cooper's stuff was like that. -
Jul 09, 2008 11:58:06 AM CDT
Fred saw Mr. T eating in Dallas - but too scared to talk
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Fred was just a wee Fred at the time. Fred's mom worked in building that had underground concourse with resturants. Mr. T was eating ---alone. Fred kept walking.
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Far better than his fellow 70s rock counterpart, Ted Nugent.If Starbuck was babysitting me as a kid (with Galactica in it's prime) I would've gone bat spit crazy.Come to think of it, the closest I ever came to celebrity was freakin' Walter Mondale. Asked for his autograph in the National Museum in Mexico City when he was running for prez. And I brushed past Charles Barkley in a mall in Boston, but since the 76ers were in town to play my beloved Celtics, I didn't even want to look at the guy.
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Jul 09, 2008 12:06:04 PM CDT
briefly met William Hurt. He was in town filming Tuck Everlastin
by jonah echo
So he looked a little homeless. Nother seemingly nice guy. Appeared to be very, very laidback.
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Not bad for a Roland Emmerich TB where we stopped talking about Emmerich 400 posts back.
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Not Wayne's world- Prince of Darkness.
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not that exciting, frankly.
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Fred repost question from last night: Fred have question for Jonah Echo, Lost Jarv DocPazuzu et al. How do movies like Trail of Screaming Forehead, or Her Morbid Desires get made, where are thet shown. Fred lives in fairly big city and Fred never heard of these types of movies. Are they just DTV or is there some underground movue market. Fred remember Sybil Danning being big in B movies, before DTV and Fred never saw one of her movies until cable. Fred would like to know if Fred is missing more than just Freds balls.
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Jul 09, 2008 12:10:56 PM CDT
with the IG talkback closing in, that might be too obscure..
by jonah echo
I usually just experience a creepy feeling when Harry puts one of those on the list, not actual recognition.
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I lived in Halifax for years and years and around the mid-90s, celebs started dropping in all the time. Stallone was in town with his boat docked in the harbor for a week, Kelsey Grammer was there shooting that Writer's Block movie, Paula Abdul, Harrison Ford, William Fichtner and Sean Connery were many of the celebs seen on the street during a layover, and yet, I didn't see any of them.
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I don't even remeber, but he was friends/banging my mom and would watch me once in a while. I thought she was bullshitting until she dug up old pictres. It's the most random thing....
I also bought Jean Claude Van Damn a beer in New Orleans once. What a Chode -
At the LAX on my way to Hawaii, he saw we looking at him and it looked like he either A)Was preparing to deal with another Roc fanatic, or B) Stab me. So I pussied out and didn't say anything. Oh yeah Bill Murray checked out in the counter next to me at Whole Foods like 2 months ago...pussied out again, he was the worst dressed person in the store.
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and the lead singer from Depeche Mode told me to go fuck myself..
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of that list- Most of them I quite like. Except Travis who I hate with a passion and wish they would die. Try the Arctic Monkeys, they fit right on that list. Coldplay are probably the most despised act at the moment. Who the fuck buys Coldplay CD's? and can they stop it. Cynical aimed at American college kids GARBAGE. Totally music without identity. Being a Camden boy I see an awful lot of music. Most of which is frankly dreadful. BUt occasionally you get some gems like when a metal band cover Prodigy. There's so much Britpop that just didn't cross the atlantic, and if you're looking for that mid-90's vibe then you can easily draw up a great playlist of 1 hit wonders from the likes of Lush, Elastica, Sleeper, Menswear etc. And this is before I get into the absolute untouchable Trip-hop. Goldfrapp, Massive Attack, Tricky, Morcheeba, Portishead, Sigh, and now we get wank Pop Idol gibberish, lame R 'n B rip off crap and Amy Feckin' Crackhouse.
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Lots of times these things are made very low, low budget. They are eiter indie attempts to make a movie and then sell it, or the results of a producer just trying to cash in. Often they are shown at local venues, quietly. But there are two outlets by which these things make money. DTV and Sci-Fi channel. There is a really great ep. of Dinner for Five with Bruce Campbell, Roger Corman, Rob Zombie, etc. that delves into this when Roger is talking.
Here is the first part link, and you can follow the other links from there.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=BQB aVM2e4fw&feature=related
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Dont forget the Clash and Psychedelic Furs!
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How cool. If he was high. If not then how lame. I recently got abused by Robert Plant. I was trying to help a lost American get a picture of himself with said legend. It didn't go well.
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Jul 09, 2008 12:19:03 PM CDT
Hahahahah I actually saw a famous person at Planet Hollywood
by series7
It was in England, Batman and Robin had just come out and we knew Arnold was in town along with some others. So we went to Planet Hollywood, and he had been there the night before. BUT John Cleese was having dinner there with his family.
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as were Joe Strummers strolling tuscalederos (I have no idea if that's right), but he's sadly dead now.
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If you're still around, can you please tell me why all my favorite UK bands like those mentioned above and ones I forgot like Wilt keep getting hosed? Thankfully Feeder and Gomez are still going strong but there are far too many untimely demises out your way.Series, Charles S Dutton is awesome. He and the doctor were the only good things about Alien 3.
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who has produced something close to 400 movies, was talking about how Dinocroc turned out to be a very nice success for them. If you are like me, you are thinking "Dino-Croc?" Really?
But, yes, it seems that's the case. The money they made from selling it to sci-fi or whatever, and going dtv far outweighed the paltry cost of it. -
It was at a nightclub in Germany around 92. He was in the club and my friends pointed him out. He was sitting in a VIP section and I stumbled up to him and said "your own...personal....jesus. " rolled his eyes and said go fuck yourself. Instead, I went home and tore out the tabe from my Black Celebration cassettee. I sure showed him. cocksucker...
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she'd say, "which one"?
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Have made it to America. The frapp is like in every commercial or promo. Attack is in voldka commercials and House and Danny The Unleashed Dog.
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Yeah I wish I had talked to him, me and him were just standing around waiting for a ticket desk to do shit for us. Supposidly my dad was slapped by Za Za Gabor. Now I know that he did see her in a bar, I think he and my mom just add in the slapping part because she was known for doing that.
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Thank you.
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Fred is nonplussed at your answer concerning your mom.
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He was at the local mall. Girls were getting his autograph. I didnt care. That's because it was 88 or 89 and that was his 21 Jump Street Era.
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At least the city scenes. They used our town hall and our oldest hotel. Clooney bought some lemonade from a kid and gave him $20 for it. Boy that was big news here last summer.*sigh* I gotta get out of hicktown.
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Military brat. I had no other options.
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Tarrantino tied!
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of Michael Ironside or Jack Palance?
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Jul 09, 2008 12:37:21 PM CDT
Didn't German nightclubs get bombed in 90's
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
By Libya?
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Jul 09, 2008 12:39:04 PM CDT
Fred watched V - the real V not too long ago
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Michael Ironside was awesome. he saved that flick. Who was fat dude who was his side kick?
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Khadaffi, good guy.
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but they're the exception rather than the rule. Tricky, for example will never make it.Mrs. Jarv keeps sneeringly pointing out that it is "dinner party music" so I keep having to remind her that she likes Ben Folds.
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Highlander II was good times..
He was good in Starship Troopers.
His mutant twin Kurtwood Smith was in Robocop being awesome.
Ironside had a nice bit part in The Machinist.
And the b-movie crapsterpiece Watchers. Anyone catch that? -
was the way in which it seemed Ironside was trying to channel Jack Nicholson channeling The Joker.
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try and find a better song than "rocking the suburbs" Go ahead, I dare you...
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Rutger Hauer was talked about yesterday. Forgot then, but what about Split Second? It was an early 90s sci-fi flick where some kind of mutant was ripping people apart in the water-logged streets of London. Anyone remember it? I always sort of liked it.
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but walked by Faith Hill, a lot shorter than I would have thought, Tim McGraw (who was actually pretty cool since one of the guys I worked with went up to him with a hat and pen and he signed it, along with Faith), Elle Macpherson (who was wicked tall and pregnant when I saw her), and that dude from the Lou Diamond Phillips movie The First Power (the killer dude who held up a ceiling fan as a weapon if I remember correctly).
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what a fucking great flick! The monster kinda looked like Venom if i remeber right. Rutger was great in that. He was the best in The Hitcher and the movie when he was a blind guy...what was the name of that?
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We going to get the teaming up of Miguel Ferrer and Michael Ironside that I keep hearing about?
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The First Power (the killer dude who held up a ceiling fan as a weapon if I remember correctly).... that sounds AWESOME!
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quite what that post has to do with the converstation is a mystery.
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And Split Second and Blind Fury...classic. And...Ladyhawke!
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remember that one? The priest, the stripper and the demonic dog thingee that disguised itself as a woman?
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I put this up in the other TB about the new Robocop. If you haven't bought this yet, you need to. http://tinyurl.com/6rbvbc
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he's brought back from the dead or something like that, an unstoppable killer that's possessed.
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I thought Waxwork was useless, but Waxwork 2 was pretty funny stuff. Bruce Campbell as the guy with the exposed ribcage with a crow pecking at it, nonchalantly throwing out Monty Pthonism "it's only a flesh wound."
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Little Monsters with Deal/No Deal and Daddy Day Camp?
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and I don't particularly mind Ben Folds. She's just got a thing for Americana that is completely lost on this side of the pond. For example, as I know she lost most of her CDs, I went to replace her John Meyer collection. I was unsuprised to find them in the Bargain bin for a whopping £3 each. I went to pay, and made the mistake of saying to the spotty oik behind the counter "that was cheap". He responded with "It's because it's shit". So then I proceeded to explain to the little fuck how I've spent most of my career working in the Industry and frankly have forgotten more about music than he'll ever know, and if it's good enough for Mrs. Jarv then he should learn that women like things like this and he'll never get laid if he keeps putting jesus and Mary Chain on when he gets back to his place.
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was the movie, and it wasn't so good. How bout Circuitry Man?
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nice one, jarv
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My Bloody Valentine have returned to destroy everyone's ears with loud and swirly goodness.
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Dont sell anything but collectable action figures and MAD Magazine...not that there is anything wrong with MAD (even though I haven't read it in 20 years)
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Im sort of remembering now, and isnt that where they ultimately went with the story? He was THE devil? I remember thinking WHAA? since it was sci-fi until then. And Rutger ripped out his heart.
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the polic chief screaming "Do you want me to put out an A.P.B. on a little red man with horns and a tail?"
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Do you mean Cemetary man?
Jarv, how do you feel about Muse and Ash? I was at an HMV in Heathrow once, and I had a Homeland Security t-shirt on, and the NED behind the counter asked me if I was there on official buisness. I was reeking of booze, hadn't shaved in like a week, probably had been wearing that tshirt for more then a day, I told him yes and to not tell anybody. -
Cameo appearences from Lance Henriksen and Clancy Brown some how and have the whole movie narrated by Keith David.
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I mean circuitry man:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0099271/
Cemetary Man was quite the interesting movie though. That one went far away from where I thought it was going. Refreshing. -
I'm tired of all these bands like The Killers, hip hop makes my ears bleed, emo needs to stop and nu metal is a joke.The few good artists this country produces end up getting tossed by their record label after one album and then end up struggling for years and fold under financial pressures.My favorite Ben is the one from down under, who recorded an album with Kweller and Folds called The Bens.
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Has one of the greatest movie lines ever. When Hauer's partner suggests that the villain they are chasing might indeed be... gulp!... Satan, Hauer responds:
"Well then Satan is in deep shit!" -
Jul 09, 2008 1:13:16 PM CDT
Anyone remember Robert Ginty and Warriors of lost world?
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
I think that is what it was called. He did Exterminators as well.
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You will NOT ruin Split Second for me. You hear me? THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!
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all the reviews for Split Second can't seem to figure it out either, what the creature is. They mention that by the end it is wholly possible it was a rat mutant, an alien or the devil or all three.
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The Exorcist line made Fred laugh! Memories-Of-Murder can't be that bad, can he?
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Fred not think you are Satan.
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So, what you are saying is that you ARE Satan? Fred confused, and just a little bit scared. Fred gonna steal, er, borrow some Holy Water - just in case.
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Discussing mostly mindless twaddle. Good job, boys!And now to bring us full circle, after 10,000 B.C. I can't say I'm looking forward to 2012, but ID4 and The Patriot will always have a spot in my DVD collection. I'll even buy them in whatever format comes after Blu-ray.
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Fred read that are Asian movie expert here, do you have opinion about Flashpoint, or City of Violence? Fred saw them at Best Buy and wanted to get opinion.
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Considered myself to be a Godzilla man. Anyone remember the original ending for ID4 with Randy Quad flying his beater plane into the Alien bomb pooper?
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I fail to understand how a piece of luggage can not only be elected as President TWICE, but can fool people into believing his propagandist bullshit and lead a country into a baseless invasion.It is what it is. What one man discards as garbage, another man digs out of the bin and makes the centerpeice of his living room. We're funny creatures, dude.
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Fred heard of that. It not quite say God is evil, more like God is not wholly good and possibly evil.
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Fred,
Flashpoint was just ok.
I wasn't a huge fan of City of Violence either. -
As AICN's resident Asian movie expert, I can tell you that Flash Point is barely a rental and City of Violence is a keeper. Flash Point is only redeemed by the final fight. CoV is excellent, although it's one of those Korean movies that feels really Asian. The kind that are anti-Hollywood where fights tend to be sloppy instead of slick, the editing is bizarre and all around it just feels 100% non-conventional. But those are all plus points.
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was jingoistic and derivative of WOW, but it was also a pretty fun movie that was well intended at the same time it was hopelessly naive, and that added to it's charm (IMO). The only fault I take with ID4 was the Mac virus ending. It stalled the movie for me. But, I'll take that along with the cheesy pleasures it offers. Without that ending, it would prob be Emmy's best movie. As of now, that's still Stargate.
The Patriot on the otherhand was a hopeless mess in my eyes. A hopeless mess with a mighty good Gibson performance at the center of it. -
resident expert..know anything about when or where I might be able to see Negative Happy Chainsaw Edge
Favorite asian flick HOD? Or maybe a top ten? -
Was classic. I heard Dustin Hoffman talk about how he was offered that role, but it was too violent. He then proceeded to say that he had pretty much been offered every role ever, but whatever Hoffman is my all time fav actor. He seems like such a nice guy, on Leno him and Chef Ramsey were on and after wards they both went up and shook the hands of the band that performed, Flobots. I like it when guest go on late night shows to have a good time, and when guest stay on for the second guest.
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I'm willing to bet that you, Jonah, Fred, Series and Danny (the only ones still present I'm guessing) could each put up a top ten movie list and not only would none of us be in agreement over a single movie, but that each list would contain at least 2 movies that were on the other's worst lists.So go figure. We're all programmed differently. That's why they offer more than chocolate and vanilla ice cream nowadays.
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Work slow with you as well today? Toykyo Gore Police, you seen that? Is it out? Also did you see Big Bang Love, Juvenile A? Or I'm a Cyborg, But That's OK? And does anyone have the 3 disc collectors tin of Oldboy?
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I mean 9 of my top ten movies are the entire pixar collection.
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heres a link to the trailer. Comes ou August 1st. Robert Englund is in it.
http://cinemablend.com/new/Jack-Brooks-Monster-Slayer-Trailer-9453.html -
I mean, one of my all time fave summer movies in the last 12 or so years was The Fifth Element. Saw it twice at the theater, bought it on vhs, dvd and now bluray. I can understand those who call it stupid, but me, I love it and not in a dumb way. I think it's very creative, witty at times and just relentlessly isane at others.
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You know what's in the cave? Only what you take with you.Beware, you are Darth!
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I so wanted to love the Fifth Element, and even if I don't, I still must watch at least some of it when it's on.
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Ten years ago it would've been Hard Boiled hands down, but now it's almost impossible to come up with a favorite, to the point it makes my head hurt. But the ones near the top of the list would be Hard Boiled, Seven Samurai, The Hidden Blade, Sympathy For Mr. Vengeance, Shinobi, SPL, Yojimbo, Exiled, Fearless, The Warlords, Bittersweet Life, Kung Fu Hustle, Daisy, The Hidden Fortress, Musa, Last Hurrah For Chivalry, Oldboy and then it just becomes downright impossible to pick between the kung fu classics like Five Deadly Venoms, Master of the Flying Guillotine, Saolin Master Killer, Drunken Master, The 36th Chamber of Shaolin, etc. That's a tough list.
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despise enough to be in your bottom ten though?
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is a really cool movie Series. It's style is more reminiscent of Gilliam than Park's other stuff. It's portrayal of mental illness is of course mostly so Park can explore a divergent visual style, but it does work, and finds odd ways to portray a romance between two wandering souls. And the tone is very dreamlike. A few excursions do venture into the "cool edgy" factor one usually watches these things for, like the main character's delusion that involves revealing the guns hidden in her wrists and systematically destroying the entire hospital staff in a five minute overhead sequence that patiently observes her shoot every last nurse on the premises.
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...the diabolical buzz-killing power of Memories-Of-Murder, a k a BladeRunnerUnit.
You want to stop a TB dead in its tracks? Look no further than this miscreant.
It's been fun, guys. See you in the next TB. -
No, in fact I have lots of work to do and I'm probably ten minutes away from being fired.Gore Police is still playing in theaters in Japan as far as I know. I'm A Cyborg was possibly one of the most bizarre movies I've ever seen but visually is gorgeous and worth it to watch for the automatic fingers scene alone.
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good on you for including The Hidden Blade. Seen Twilight Samurai and Love and Honour?
How bout Last Life in the Universe? I think that's a beautiful and odd movie. -
What, did the seagulls frighten you?
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Finishing the Game: The Search for a New Bruce Lee?
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She's from South Korea. So our daughter is 1/4 Dutch, 1/4 Mexican and 1/2 Korean. How's that for a melting pot.Can't believe I forgot the Twilight Samurai, I love that movie. Have yet to see Love and Honor though.Probably missed a bunch on my list, especially the older stuff.
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I'm a Cyborg? My favorite mind fuck Asian movie is Save The Green Planet. I love how the trailer makes it seem like this ZANY loopy comedy and its really fucked up and sad.
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I don't really like Finding Nemo either. Never understood why it was there biggest hit. Not that keen on Ratatouille as well, need to watch it again though. Everything else though I really like, and yes I am a 8 year old boy.
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But yeah, my family is all over the place. Father from Mexico, mother from Holland, I was born in Canada, wife is Korean and I'm a naturalized American so needless to say I have LOTS of countries to cheer for come World Cup time. And my daughter is the very first person of either side of the family to be a natural born U.S. citizen.I always fail to put the Korean dramas, comedies and romances on my lists. Some of them like Memories of Murder, Save the Green Planet, Silmodo, Princess Aurora, Mr. Socrates and Joint Security Area range from good to downright excellent.I'm A Cyborg has been up on the Asian DVD rental sites since last year. I know a membership to two online rental services can get expensive, but I strongly recommend it for a few months to plow through some Asian goodness.
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I think I liked Hidden Blade better as well. It was a similar story, but I think I liked the fact that the renegade he had to fight in HB was a friend, a man he knew. In Twilight, for various reasons, it wasn't. Both are great films, but I'd agree.
Save the Green Planet is great. Just a wierdo flick to the very end, and yet it's touching, funny, creepy and sort of mind boggling. It's a grabbag of emotions but it never feels piece-meal. It all fits together and forms an organic whole. That was good stuff.
Again, I strongly reccomend Last Life in the Universe. It's quite something.
Any Survive Style 5+ fans here? -
Rickey agrees--the Albert Brooks father was just grating. As was much of the rest of the movie. Rickey just likes giving people a hard time for being afraid of seagulls.
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is awful.
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http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0430651/
It involves Vinnie Jones as a hitman..there's a japanese salaryman whose hynotized into thinking he is a bird, and because Jones kills the hynotist before he can undo it, spends the rest of the movie as a bird. T.Asano is a man who keeps killing his wife and she keeps coming back from the dead, and beating the hell out of him. That's just the tip of the madness.
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The movies are listed in order starting with my favorite, with my ranking of 1-10 next to it (10 good, 1 bad) 1. Toy Story (10) 2. Wall-E (10) 3. A Bugs Life (7) 4. The Incredibles (8) 5. Monsters Inc (8) 6. Cars (7) 7. Toy Story 2 (6) 8. Ratatouille (6) 9. Finding Nemo (5)
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that sounds awesome.
Jonah Echo, do you have an asian films dvd rental thing as well? Otherwise how'd you see I'm a Cyborg? -
This Survive Style movie sounds lik Schizopolis by Steven Soderbergh, anyone seen that?
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Asian film was the animated movie Paprika, a sureal mystery. The animation was pretty amazing to boot.
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It very weird, worth a check. Well boys I'm off to job number 2. later.
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The Amazing Captain Nemo - okay this was a television movie but it got a Cinema Release in the UK.
Leprechaun 4: Leprechaun in Space - now obviously the idea of a LEPRECHAUN in SPACE is something I don't think any of us would have thought could go wrong but somehow - it does. Howling III - I mean they do have werewolf marsupials but somehow it just doesn't work. TAGLINE - 'Just when you thought it was safe to go down under' hehPolice Academy 7 Mission to Moscow (still waiting for Police Academy 8 - Bahgdad Precinct)Starship Invasions - in 1977 they started making loads of sci-fi films with lasers and robots and shit. I include Starship Invasions but also include The Humanoid and H.G Wells The Shape of Things to Come, which is like saying Commando is W Somerset Maughan's Commando.Night of the Fucking Lepus - 'fucking not actually part of the title'. You know what's not scary bunny rabbits, you know what's even less scary giant carnivorous ones!!!Hawk the Slayer - Never in the History of sorcery and swords has the height difference between a giant and a dwarf been so insignificantThough I have to agree with Lost Jarv - while all the above are awful - Forrest 'Do what your told and you'll be succesful do other things and you'll die!!!!' Gump is the worst piece of shite that has ever rolled out of the anus of Hollywood and somehow won an Oscar! It's an evil piece of filth and would only have been better if Gump had been a marsupial who had been eaten by a giant fucking rabbit!This film is a CUNT!!! -
What is that exactly, anyway? What is "splodin"?
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but he really needs to lay off the movie references. Dude, you're not Dennis Miller. It's not funny. It comes across as disjointed and unreadable. And what's with calling The president "a black"? I kept looking for the end of that sentence. A black what? OH a black man. Gotcha.
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It's the White House blowing up from Independence Day.I don't know how we've managed to keep this TB at the top of the charts with hilarious yet aimless banter.So now folks are shitting on Forrest Gump. Has it been that long since I've watched it that's it's gone from good to garbage? Well, a 10 year hiatus can be rough on a movie.
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I would have never guessed that but now that you mention it, I see it. Wasn't there an image of King Kong or Mighty Joe Young on here for awhile?
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Jul 09, 2008 9:21:08 PM CDT
I think some are still mad that Forrest Gump won the Oscar
by cotton mcknight
for best picture over Pulp Fiction and The Shawshank Redemption. That was one heck of a year for movies.
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Holy shit what a terrible movie. Cotton, that must be the reason. Forrest was a good movie, but Best Picture over those two classics is hard to swallow. Maybe they couldn't choose between the two so they said Fuck It, let's give to the family friendly retard movie
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I haven't enjoyed a TB as much as this one in ages and then you come along and ruin it with your tedious faux intellectualism. Thanks, really. To answer the other points: 1)Nu-metal is soulless dreck, but luckily won't last long. 2)I love Muse and Ash and have tickets to see Ash in November. I still sing Girl from Mars (badly) when drunk or in the shower, or possibly both. 3)Oik= horrible little surly cunt. See M-o-M. 4)Leprechaun in space is awesome: MITTENSCHPIDER!!!! 5)Circuitry man is terrible, although I like the comedy value of driving underneath America in what is blatantly a car park in LA. and the slug things. They were funny. Plughead bugged me though. He was trying to hard to be pin-head. And there should have been some Robot-human sex in that.6)Good to see some hate for Forrest- conform or we'll give you AIDS- Gump. Finally, Memories, that instinct post is yet more proof, as if I needed it that you haven't a fucking clue what we're talking about. We love a lot of these films because of instinct. We know they're bad, but we love them anyway. Why can you not understand this? Why do you feel a need to bore us with your bullshit justifications? Just fuck off you parasite.
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Jesus, how fucking stupid are you anyway?
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I'm going to go ahead and assume you are being sarcastic. the others seem not to think so but i am going to assume that they are stupid and that you are too smart to actually believe that rubbish. If not fling me some facts and i will knock them down. I am prepared to reference texts books and will happily stick to those assigned to american economics courses.
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You are either the most conceited, arrogant, pedantic, joyless, miserable piece of besserwisser shit who has ever graced these boards or you simply have Asperger's Syndrome. If it's the latter, you have my sympathy. If it's merely the former, you can fuck off more than ever.
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Well even though I woke up around 7AM yesterday and worked 2 jobs till 11:30PM. I poped in Control around 12:30-1. And stayed awake for the whole thing and watched a bunch of the extra freatures. Now I am going to bed for like a half hour. But amazing fucking movie, hearing Joy Division covered that well and sounding that clear was probably what got me. Biggest overlooked movie of last year, in fact next to Into the Wild it was the only dramatic movie that really got to me. Control was a lot better then Walk the Line and Ray. Fuck tomorrow is going to suck, I am going to look for my copy of Still before i pass out. Wonder if this TB will be up and running tomorrow, or am I beating a dead horse.
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This is AICN talkback.
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What the fuck is wrong with you, you despicable piece of shit? Of course instinct is involved with any aesthetic appreciation. Why are you denying this patently obvious fact? Jesus, it isn't rocket science. If instinct was so irrelevant to appreciation then PORN would not exist. You fucking idiot. Unless, of course, you are some sort of highly evolved lifeform from the Planet Dipshit (3 Moons called Dull, As, Fuck), that has removed himself from his base emotions and has a cereberal filter that is always set to pretension. Why don't you fuck off out of this TB, which you CLEARLY don't understand, and pollute either the Wall-E one or the Aronofsky one? Christ. And what the fuck is up with all of you tolerating this pretentious little dipshit. He's TB Greedo and is just begging to be on the business end of a blaster.
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Not to Memories, I probably wasn't harsh enough- but to the rest of you. I know you were only trying to reason with it, but there comes a point when reason fails and you would have more constructive time trying to persuade Giant Panda's to fuck to save their species. Not only will he never admit that you might have a point, let alone concede that he may be wrong, but he will also patronise, insult and condescend you. He is a TB remora, and only worth insulting. Look what he did to this splendid thread- for example.
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I'm off to the pub. It's a nice day and I'm pretending to have a migraine to get out of work.
See you tomorrow. -
Finishing the Game was humorous. Not quite what I expected though.
HOD, I don't have a rental subscription but I should. As of now I usually buy stuff overseas I want to see. And some of this stuff I saw through friends who have rental subscriptions, or in the case of STGP, I saw it a convention a few years ago. Same with Survive Style.
Other good asian flicks:
Ping Pong-it's wonderful.
Funky Forest: First Contact-you have no idea.
The Place Promised in Our Early Days-an anime, available on Netflix. It's good stuff.
Calamari Wrestler-AWESOME. and available on Netflix. And about exactly what it says it is. A giant squid who shows up one day and starts wrestling.
Not an asian film, persay, but a finnish film crossed with an asian film-Jade Warrior. Loved this one, if for no other reason than seeing the lead from Man Without a Past wield a smithee hammer like he was Thor himself.
If you enjoy ghost stories, go for Kwaidan-an older Japanese film that is actually an anthology of stories, and is done with skill, artistry and intelligence. Not schlock, but one of the best looking horror films I've ever seen. -
Whether you truly did not know my "cave" reference or not, it's from The Empire Strikes Back.And while I most definitely fall under what Jarv referenced above, clearly you do not belong in threads where B movies and the like are the topic. See, and now get this M-O-M, I'm psyched to see 10,000 BC tonight, even though it sounds like it would be dumb enough for my tastes. And you know what else?My order from Amazon shipped today!!!!! The Thing...C.H.U.D.....double feature of The Monster that Challenged the World and It! The Terror from Beyond Space. Do you feel the excitement in the air M-O-M? It's palpable.
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should read "even though it sounds like it would NOT be dumb enough for my tastes."
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I have to admit that I enjoyed it. Little does the wife know that there's really no more of her movies in the queue. Next three up: In Bruges (better not be a "short wait"), Kill Zone, and Harper.
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I didn't expect to, but by the time Carrell was singing "Let my love open the door" I had to admit I was touched. And of course the Ruthie "Pigface" Draper family sing-a-long with John Mahoney clearly delighted by the whole thing.
Major flaw with me was the daughters and the contrived conflict they had with their dad. -
that was rather amusing. And I tend to agree about the daughters' thing to a certain extent. Perhaps they took it too far in terms of how much they were shunning their dad, but maybe not.
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I want to see it keep going.
To bring it back to Roland, he is a director that for the most part is consisten with what he makes-some more succesful than others, but all do seem made by the same guy.
,p>
Here is the new topic. What bout worst, or campiest moive that has a BIG name on it, or someone who should have done/known better. And no I don't want to hear Indy 4. I mean-Will Friedkin and THE GUARDIAN with the baby eating tree. Or John Frankenheimer and PROPHECY and ISLAND OF DR. MOREAU.
I mean at some point didnt Francis Coppola and Walter Hill have their fingerprints on the intergalactic tedium that was SUPERNOVA?
Discuss.. -
The Island of Dr. Moreau...Val was in that, was he not? Marlon played the island.
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And I didn't even realize that Jango Fett was in it.
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Why don't you apply the same effort and prove to us that you understand why it is the rest of us here enjoy bad movies in a way that you clearly do not. Better yet, explain why you simply CANNOT enjoy these types of movies unless you attribute deeper or subtextual meaning to them. Surely even you, upon perusing your efforts in this talkback and comparing them to ours, must see that there is an enormous disconnect going on here.
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I'm talking about the original Thing. I encourage you to go out and rent it. And I never saw Cosmos: War of the Planets. I see that the U.S. version it was called War of the Planets. It seems to be an Italian movie. I wonder how that stacks up to the classic mentioned above 3 Fantastic Supermen.
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http://www.shacknews.com/onearticle.x/53528
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Yeah Ping Pong was awesome! By far my favorite sports movie probably until the Sean Astin/Gary Cole ass kicker (HOPEFULLY!) that is Forever Strong. Its an upcoming Rugby movie, seeing as that I'm a rugger I can't wait! Started in college, having a bit of a hard time getting back into it because I can't find the time. But I hope its good. Like its been an idea of mine to make a documentary about college rugby (in USA) since its the biggest CLUB sport and a majority of it is all student run. There is just a lot of passion for the game there and I loved every second of it, even after I changed colleges going from a nationally ranked team to a struggling team. NOW all I need to do is figure out how to make a documentary. Oh yeah my other big documentary idea was sort of like Fanboys, but not in the since of a gay movie with a plot. But going around the country and learning about the people who wait in line for days in advance for movies/games/events, but seeing that with Fandango and Movie phone being so big today it doesn't seem like people do that anymore. It would've been great to start the doc back in 1999 and keep with it all the way through ROTS. And maybe through in some other big movies inbetween. The only people who wait in line now are college kids trying to get season tickets to their basketball team or something.
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So when you say you buy things overseas, like do you have a region free DVD? Or some sweet Lasar disk connection? And the movies you get do they come with subtitles in english? Because I really want to catch more asian films sooner...before I forget about them. Like Save the green planet I rented off of Netflicks because I saw previews for it on other american dvds I rented.
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I live in Baltimore and the Senator Theatre (AICN actually posted an article to save the Senator a year or so ago-and thankfully, the Senator survived) is an old-style movie house in the area. It has played all the Star Wars movies,and when my wife(fiance at the time) and I went to see Revenge of the Sith, the Senator had someone who had collected video of the camping line for each prequel, from the first to the last. It was cool because it showed the difference in expectations, people as their lives changed over the course of the three films, and the way in which the hardcore fans were never fazed by any negativity but came to each film always excited and ready for a masterpiece. It was about 15 minutes and was perfect to set the mood for ROTS, which in my opinion did knock it out of the park, and remains my third fave star wars film. So, on a more microcosmic scale, I think that mini-docu attempted to do what you were talking about, and it was entertaining and I think provided a better insight into geek mentality than alot of the more professional docs have managed. No condescention.
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and after the movie they looked thrilled for the most part. There are some fans out there that are unfazed by the negativity, or even in some cases, the quality of the thing they idolize. I'm not personally ragging on Indy, because I too loved it, but I hadn't built it up, or thought much on it. These guys were eating,sleeping, talking it and they still loved it-or what it represented, I think. I'm not making a judgment call, but as a creative sort myself I always wonder how does someone come up with something that triggers that kind of devotion, and is it even something one should desire? The "line people" around here are always there opening night at the Senator. And it has been years since I've joined them. I think Dark Knight will be the first exception since Return of the King for a midnight showing for me.(The Indy 4 reactions were noticed by a friend, not myself).
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Jarv - I know you're away, but I apologize for not ripping into the trolls like you hope I would. For a tree hugging, no meat eating, hybrid driving, ultra liberal atheist, I'm the angriest man you'll ever meet and I rage enough to my wife and friends so I see these TBs as the one place I can try to control my hatred of the world. If I vented here, there I would be doing it 24 hours a day (I grind my teeth at night so even sleep isn't a respite) and I would be dead within a week from high blood pressure. And as much as Memories annoys me, he entertains me with his pontificating so I let it slide.Pillow and Jonah - what can I say, I liked Dan In Real Life too. Sometimes that sugary sweetness hits the spot, especially on those days when you think humanity is garbage and needs to be wiped out by airbourne ebola.In Bruges is fantastic. Kill Zone is probably my fave all time Asian action movie behind Hard Boiled.Hope you're feeling OK, JPT. Going off little to no sleep is brutal on an old codger like myself. Not like the old college days where I could be out drinking until 4AM and then open up the Blockbuster hungover or still drunk 3 hours later.
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player. However, back in college when I wasn't up to speed on the foreign film scene, I was buying stuff off e-bay I assumed was actual legit release, and most of the time it was bootlegged. Took me awhile to figure that out. The giveaway: Azummi showed up with the correct title, picture and what not, but it has the Fox Logo dropped on the spine, and the credits at the bottom of the dvd back were for Wall Street and the description/summary on the back was from Return of the King. And the dvd smelled like burning plastic.
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Some movies on sites that rent Asian DVDs have region free discs along with the region 2&3 discs. Before I bought a region free player, I would just rip the movie with DVDFabDecrypter which actually removes the "region" and then burn it to a disc so that it's playable on any DVD player.99% of the movies you rent on those sites have English subs. If not they will let you know. The subs aren't always perfect but they're always good enough to follow.And you didn't hear it from me, but if you're really hard up to watch some movies, check out the torrents. Even I'm willing to admit I've downloaded more than my share of Asian movies and ended up buying a copy of them when they became available for purchase because I wanted to support the industry and have a perfect quality version of the film.
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Yup, I heard good things about In Bruges, so I'm looking forward to that one. And I moved up Kill Zone based upon your recommendation. Yeah, after staying up till midnight, having a few beers and a martini last night, makes me quite the tired pillow in the morning.
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Jonah is spot on. If you're going to buy movies, be careful. There are some trusted sites out there like YesAsia and HKFlix (who probably take $100 a month out of my pocket) but buying stuff off eBay or less reputable Asian sites will burn you. I was so desperate to have a copy of Tom Yum Goong when no one else had it yet that I bought a copy off a lesser site. The movie looked to be a VHS rip and the person who wrote the subs must have been a MST3K fan because half the subs mocked the character speaking.
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Is going to be huge. Its pretty amazing the type of buzz and want this movie is generating, outside of the geek community. Theaters are going to be having 3AM and 6AM showings for it! I mean especially in a summer like this, where every movie I've seen (minus Wanted) has knocked it out of the park and have all pretty much been comic books or fan boy stuff, that people still want more that it hasn't become overkill. We haven't had a summer this good in a LONG time, next year is going to be terrible, with the strikes and all, but if TV is any sign of what could happen to movies we are in for some great stuff in 10-11, because all the shows that went off the air during the strike and came back for a couple of episodes after it was over, those episodes were fantastic.
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Need to clarify that. It's not like they're jacking me at gunpoint.
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alot of stuff is on Netflix. You can certainly start there.
I've pimped it already, but if you are a fan of old horror films and asian film, queue up Matango. It's a seriously wierd film that is actually more of a meditation on drugs and hallucinogenic experience, as well as a somewhat retelling of the Lotus Eaters than it is a rubber suit monster flick. It's director is Ishiro Honda, of Gojira fame, and this one is his best movie alongside that one. It was done in the 60s, but the odd atmosphere and subject matter make it feel more like something ripped from E.C. comics. -
Yeah I rented it like when it first came out, I was going to watch it, but my buddy said he wanted to see it so I just burned a copy. He's been lazy about coming over and now he tells me that its like next up on his queue. So maybe I'll watch it tonight as well. If you missed it before I was up till 4 in the AM watching the movie about Joy Division called Control, amazing movie. Totally overlooked by America, we were too busy worrying about Raising Arizona remakes and making teen pregnecy seem OK!
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you said pretty much every movie you've seen. Did you see Indy, and if so, does that mean you liked it? Not to rile anyone up, or start one more conv regarding it, but did you?
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Fred needs movies for this weekend since Fred saw HB II already. Fred post review on HB TB if anyone interested.
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Interesting. Harry's favorite scene, the market, was your least favorite.Sadly, like every summer movie this year save for Indy 4, HB2 will be a rental for me.You'll love Kill Zone. Hopefully it arrives in time for the weekend. I need to find a big action movie on DVD I haven't seen yet for the weekend. And then top it off with boxing on HBO Saturday night. Men killing each other and then beating each other senseless. Is there anything better?
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I'll go back and forth with it, just beacuse sometimes I get sick of subtitles you know. And there seems to be a lot going on. With netflicks though all the major Asian films I want to see are always LONG WAIT, like Funky Forest, and King of Comedy. As for torrents, I used to do those all the time, but I've manged to fuck up another external hard drive in less then a year this time and I am just sick with my computer and want a new one (I got like a four year old Dell laptop), kind of retarded seeing that I am suppose to be a computer major or so says my degree. Echo, I've been to Baltimore many of times. Arundel Mills Muvico Egyptian, is the oddest thing I've ever scene. I don't understand the reason behind it. Why Egyptian?
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Opinions are subjective, but bottom line is that Fred was disappointed in HBII. It not bad, just not very good.Fred very, very excited about TDK though. Fred couild use a big action movie Fred never saw before too! Trouble is, Fred has seen most! Thought about Golden Compass, anyone have opinion on that?
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Series, I don't really know to be honest. It is indeed the wierdest movie theater to wlak into, with all those Anubis sculptures and faux pyramid stuff outside. Inside of course it's just a slightly larger mall movie theater. The wife and I usually only go there to see pre-screenings. It's a 45 minute drive to get there, and the ticket prices are higher than everywhere else. We also live about five minutes from the Wihitemarsh theater, so we often go there-when we arent going to Senator, Charles or Landmark-the new theater at the harbor that truly plays indies, foreign an mainstream. Let me know if you are ever in Baltimore forany length of time. Maybe we can catch a movie or something.
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Disappointment. If you want a good fantasy film that's new, try Spiderwick Chronicles. I love that one. In fact, I think Harry posted my review back in February. No one read past the part where I mentioned no Indy trailer.
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I got a question for you all. I go to a University where you can get Microsoft software for like 20 bucks. it's for "students only", even though its got everything a regular Microsoft dvd would have. The question is, can I sell something like that? Completely random question I know.
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Cunt kids.
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= Terrible TERRIBLE MOVIE! Oh man. Go find on the You Tube somewhere the clip of the polar bears fighting, and thats all you need to see. THAT WAS FUCKING AMAZING. I remember seeing it right before Kung Fu Panda came out and how Ian McShane was voicing the bad guy in that movie, and I thought that was a great choice. Turns out he voices the bad Polar Bear in Compass as well, hopfully Panda is better. Also there is this little british boy in this movie who not only is just an ugly kid, but a terrible actor and I was like, why didn't they just get Freddie Highmore? TURNS OUT THEY DID! But he is just the voice of one of the animals, more about Freddie in a bit. Final problem with the movie is the director, what has Chris Weitz done that shows he can handle a big movie? American Pie is terrible directed, About a Boy was very good, but again a very simple movie technically speaking. It was like, well this guy likes British things, lets let him do it. He even said that he thought this movie was too big for him (SIGN?). Also the plot was all over the place, it wanted to be wizzards and whiches and evil/secert societies and talking animals and magic devices. Just too much, and ending was dumb something about dust? Daniel Craig is not a good actor, Nicole Kidman didn't seem like she knew what her character was suppose to be (good or bad?). If I had turned it off the second the Polar Bear fight ended, it would've been perfect, instead there is like another 30-40 minutes of some resemblence of a plot. I can't believe this movie got any Oscars. I wasn't a fan of Transformers, but we all known is should've won for VFX, not that garbage that Coke perfected in the early 90's. It no wonder New Line died after that movie.
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How did an Emmerich thread become so darn interesting?Cotton, look, I'm the first to admit I like hearing about Microsoft taking a spill and no one is happier that the major music labels are hurting due to downloading, BUT, I wouldn't mess with MS software. If it somehow comes back to you, you're going to have a dozen ball washing lawyers on your back and that's something no one needs. So tread lightly, good fellow.The Golden Compass put me to sleep. Not even worth a rental.
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Yeah I enjoyed Indy, I didn't really care about the character. The day it came out I had taken the day off of day work because I pulled a muscle in my back at night work the night before. So I was home all day doped up on percocet, and my roommate was off and we watched 2 of the 3 indys. Neither of us really knew Indy at, because we sat through 15 minutes of Temple of Doom before we realized that it was not the first Indy movie. I'll say that Raiders has probably the best opening of any movie ever. But the Indy's were over the top and I felt that this new one fit right in. My only problems were the unstoppable force known as John Hurt, who is like 60-80 years old and seems set to play bumbling old genius till he dies, who goes down three waterfalls a 20 foot drop down a cave and not only is he not dead but no one even has to help him get up. I'll buy that no harm can be done to Indy, but as for everyone else being invincible, I just needed something like "The crystal skull makes you invincible". Also for such a huge budget I was glad and surprised that it had the worlds ugliest cast ever for a movie of that size. Normally hollywood has to throw in good looking people for a big budget, but man every one looked like shit. Now I don't think Cate Blanchett is good looking to begin with, but most people do, make her were hefty bags for pants and a terrible accent (not worse then Highmore though, I'm getting there HOLD) and there's no way she could be considered good looking. Also were in the fuck did they find that priest for the end of the movie? When that guys pervy looking mug came on the screen the auidence started laughing. The stache, the terrible acne scars. HOW did that guy end up in this movie? It was fun and over the top, like the old Indies. I mean in a world where the Mummy 2 and National Treasure exsits you can't expect the beards to make a movie thats smaller in scale, they had to show them up.
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*cough*cinemageddon*cough*
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Yup, it was rather boring. I've never read the books, but it seemed like gobs of stuff was missing and nothing of interest really happened. The polar bear fight was kind of cool, but let me see, if I'm king of the polar bears now, I'm bring my boys to where they're keeping all the kids. And then me and my bear pals would maul all the bad guys.
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minus the fact I didnt notice the priest, and I think Blanchette is attractive. I grew up with the movies, but hadnt watched them in a while, watched them right before Indy 4 and found it to be apiece with them.
And with John Hurt, I fully expect to see a Baron Munchausen flick with him in the title role soon. -
Anyone see Roger Corman's last directed movie, Frankenstein Unbound? With Raul Julia as Victor Frankenstein,and Hurt as a man who invented a futuristic machine that activates some sort of time storm that flings him back to the time of Victor Frankenstein. It's a good b-movie.
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That is all. Jarv brought up the excellent point about nuke the fridge scene. It happened too early into the movie where Indy survived the most crazy sequence that couldn't be topped anywhere else in the movie.My favorite action piece was the motorcycle-university-pulled-through-one -car-window-get-out-through-the-other-window scenes. THAT really felt like Indy to me. I did not like the jungle scenes, just didn't work for me.
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MAN I WANTED TO LOVE THIS MOVIE! I really did, after the crapfest of bordom that was the Golden Compass I needed some good ole kid adventure movie. But sadly to say I didn't like it. The special effects were awesome, I thought it was well directed as well. But I thought the story wasn't that good, and Freddie's terrible TERRIBLE American accent totally took me out of the movie, I couldn't get over it. And to DOUBLE UP ON IT! AHHH at least Lohan only had one British speaking part when she did this. I was hoping for another Bridge to Terabithia, and from the reviews it seemed like they had. It was more like Bridge to Terabithia but it was real. I don't know why they decided to not get Josh Hutcherson to do Freddies part, it would've been much better. Also Mary-Louise Parker looked like she didn't ever believe anything was going on, not a good blue screen actress. And why was Seth Rogan a voice in this and every other cartoon movie?
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Was the BOMB in Street Fighter!
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Jul 10, 2008 10:13:06 AM CDT
Fred must support movies with actors named Fred in them
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Fred skip Golden Compass, but Fred will rent Spiderwick - next week. Fred saw Frankie unbound. It was a good B movie. Raul is missed. Fred may watch Addams Family - first one, again. Raul was great in that.
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Jul 10, 2008 10:27:41 AM CDT
Wouldn't you think that Harry or Mori would chime in here
by hawaiian organ donor
If for nothing else out of curiosity why this TB is still tops despite all the big movie news being reported this week. If this was my site I'd be interacting more with the readers who were so passionate to keep a good thing going.Really, when was the last time a non-political, non-Lost, non-vitriol TB went on this long? In it's 10+ year history, this may be a first on AICN.
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I loved that movie. I've tried to read the book, but even though its really short for some reason I can never finish it? It was the first book I ever ordered from amazon. I've also watched the old Micheal York one, but this one is better. I love how Val and Brando just went for it, also it made me really like David Thewlis, who's never seem to get anymore leading parts since this. Looks like he could've been Simon Gruber, I guess I'm glad he turned that role down though, he wouldn't have been as good as Irons.
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I think it's because mostly this talkback has revolved around movies, and specifically B-movies. I think our directing it that way has made it more like one of those kids around a campfire going "Hey guys remember this? what about that?"
And that is appealing for a forum like this.
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What happened to him? Did he grow into Vern Troy? Ron Pearlman was in Island as well. That must've been a crazy movie to work on.
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Didn't he die in like 1995? Thanks all for the advice on the MS software. I agree, probably not the best idea.
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I don't know how much longer it can be held up. Theres a lot of news today, and post seem to be dwindling.
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Ok, Im gonna try it and see what happens. In an attempt to build my enthusiasm for the movie in a few weeks, how bout a discuss of fave or interesting eps, from seasons 1-7. I pretend that 8 and 9 didnt happen either. Also, anyone figure out what the "supposed" connection between those 8 just re-released eps were. I didnt buy the disc cause have the seasons. Just curious. I'd love to see this movie hit, and I would love to be excited either way, when it finally shows up.
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Jul 10, 2008 10:42:32 AM CDT
Fred support everything with a Fred in it!
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Fred feels wolrd would be better place if everyone was named Fred.
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agreed. Though I have to disagree about Ratatouille. I loved that movie. But I wont go for a long solliquy on it. I'll leave it at that.
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Harry cartoon with him as Brando's Dr. Moreau eating that little guy.
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Finding Neverland made me cry. I am man enough to admit that. Especially at the end when SPOILER- Freddy asks Johnny why his mom had to die- END SPOILER.
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Fred agree that this TB has been mostly free of vitriol and has simply been a love-in for old and schlocky movies. That is a good thing. When Fred first signed up a few weeks ago, Fred visited every TB that was on the tracker. Some off the main page for weeks and months. Fred discovered interesting thing. Some TB's are still going on and on months even years later! There is a Capone Hulk TB that jkust has two guys debating one another. There are other TB's like Lost where lots more people get involved and keep it going. But mostly, it is because there is no fighting, even the debates are free of name calling - for the most part.
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Finding Neverland is a good, solid movie.Fred, you'll see many old threads are visited. Kevin Willis recently discovered the past and now is posting madly throughout, though that's less to do with actual movies discussions.
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Danny is wrong about his Pixar Jihad! There's some good shit they put out there (I enjoyed Ratatouille too)he-he-he....
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Some funny stuff here, as well as some love for films I had forgotten about. The Stuff, that was a good one.Shit, I miss out on too much with this intermittent posting business. I am going to have to get me some internet at home so I can stay here for far too long and talk bollocks and get all fat and whatnot.
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as a matinee. The netflix bitches are shipping In Bruges today (niiiice), so I'll be able to watch that puppy this weekend.
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Dummy (aka Triloquist) was fucking awful. Just dreadful. What a terrible, terrible waste of my precious £3.95. It was going more for comedy than horror and it just wasn't funny. Also, the girl was sort of cute and did not get naked, which I reckon is a big no-no for b-movie nonsense.Still, it made me appreciate the true genius of the Leprechaun series: Warwick Davis. There are few things in life funnier than watching Warwick legging it arounf in that Leprechaun outfit, giggling maniacally, and killing any bastard who steals his gold.
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I want to know if it's worthwhile to bump up for my next round of movies...
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The CoC will take care of "Bob" for ya Frankie...
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As far as I can tell, it's not out until 22 August here in England.What the fuck is that all about?
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And I'll take your word on the ingrown hairs on your balls. I guess it's good that your balls aren't in a jar like good 'ol Fred.
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It's an honest to goodness sci-fi film, with an interesting premise, good acting and atmosphere by the shiploads. It takes an odd, almost horror-like turn about 2/3rds in that marred it a little for me, but it's still a great little movie. Don't walk in with too many expectations, but otherwise, expect to have a good time.
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Didn't see Millions, but Sunshine has me intrigued. I'm a little sci-fi watching whore, so glad to hear you liked it.And that sucks for you Frankie.
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It starts out well, and I think Chris Evans is a better actor than anyone that good looking deserves to be, but it goes a little awry toward the end. Not awful, but a little too trippy for my taste.Still worth a watch, I reckon. I don't think Danny Boyle has done anything that's not at least worth a look. Except The Beach, maybe.
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And Americas Top Dog as well.
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and I'm not expecting the next great sci-fi movie by any means, but I certainly want an entertaining one.
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Favorite episode has got to be that one involving the black and white and "The Great Mutato". Only thing I can recall that I loved even though it had copious amounts of Cher music.
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Especially if you saw it on the big screen! Which Fox searchlight put it out there for like one week, too busy getting ready for Juno. And yes, Chris Evans is highly underated. I really liked Sunshine. Though I haven't gotten around to watching it on the DVD, makes me want to get a blue ray though. I'd like to know how much Sunshine cost to make, because it could've been huge, it was the best movie I saw last summer, it could've been a sleeper hit.
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I truly dig the ending and the imagination at work there, indeed, for the entirety of the movie. It balanced sentimentality and seriousness very well, and gave you strong central characters. So good was this, that I think I liked Waterhorse as much as I did because Alex Eitel was carrying all the goodwill from Millions with him. And the Waterhorse, if you are interested, is actually pretty good.
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This decade, until Wall-E.
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it was only at the little art theater though. I also think it was one of last summer's small handful of great movies(namely, Harry Potter,Stardust, Ratatouille and Paris Je T'aime).
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Man I never REALLY got into X-Files, probably because I didn't live in America for most of its run. So I could never follow the black eye ink story. I like the one offs, but mainly all I know are the main ones. Like backwoods redneck family, sewer guy, the one with Jack Black and Giovanni Ribisi and the Bigfoot one from season 1.
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for me, will be a nice little bonus...a nice summer surprise, it it turns out to be along the same lines as the stand-alone episodes. I mean, as a sci-fi fan, who wouldn't?
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It was me and my mom... not that I live with my mom, she was just visiting.
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Another good capturing of what real kids are like I though. Also pretty funny.
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I've added Millions to the queue.See, this is why I come here. To get solid recommendations for you boys.
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That third act in Sunshine is a deal breaker for some folks. It sort of was for me. Up to that point I was on the edge of my seat and marveling at the stupendous FX. BEGIN SPOILER **I think they were afraid to let the sun/ship be the villain because audiences are so dense nowadays that they require a moustache twirling embodiment of evil rather than faceless physical elements, although Boyle did a decent job of melding the two by making the captain appear as an apparition** END SPOILER. For me it came close to being a perfect movie.I only ever watched one episode of the X-Files. It just never seemed to be my bag.Never say die, Series7. I bet we can keep this the number one TB through to Monday.
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This chicken parm is good!
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was the vampy ep,and it's on that new 'X-Files: Revelations" dvd. Along with:
The Pilot(it's fine, interesting as the start of the show, but not amazing, not even terribly so in retrospect)
The FlukeMan(a good candidate to prove that these eps prob have no unifying theme to the movie, other than they are popular. I like the ep, but think it's overrated.)
Beyond the Sea-Brad Dourif. Nuff said. Best Scully ep ever, me thinks.
Clyde Bruckman's Final Repose-maybe the best X-Files. Peter Boyle giving a really awesome performance.
Memento Mori- Scully deals with the brain cancer for the first time. Really great ep, well acted. Typical from Gillian, but David "Putty face" Duchovny did great and sometimes subtle work in that one.
PostModern Prometheus-the Mutato one. Greatest use of "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves" EVER.
Bad Blood-chubby little dark eyed kid from the sandlot as a pizza delivery vampire with false teeth and Mulder singing the Shaft theme, as well as Luke Wilson with hick teeth.
Milagro-Another really good one, from the sixth season. Just watched this recently where a writer is obsessed with Scully and his creation, a murderer is now after her. It was a little too vague, but well done nonetheless, and one of the more serious pushes to get Mulder and Scully on the road to getting together.
Those are the eps on this disc. If the movie is as good as even the least of them, then we are in good hands. -
Chris Evans and Ryan Reynolds just do it for me. If I were a women, man. And knowing that Ryan Reynolds is going to play Deadpool, the only comic book character I really care about is just awesome.
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I even thought back to Millions while watching it, because the main kids had that same charm and effortless feeling of "real kids" and interesting characters. Right now, its the third best movie of the summer behind WallE and The Fall. It's just truly wonderful.
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Sunshine for Chris proved he has great talent. The Nines moved towards making me more amiable to Ryan, but still not feeling the guy.
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They were showing episodes late on Virgin 1, and I was surprised at how much I was enjoying them. I remembered it as being decent if a little dreary, but the ones I saw were pretty good.Unfortunately, the good folks at Virgin 1 stopped showing them, which is a shame. In fact, the last one they showed was a cliffhanger and after that... no more X-Files. It sucks, much like Virgin 1 on Freeview sucks.Another reason to get some internet at home, I reckon - downloading telly. I am currently desperate to see season two of Dexter like a little girl is desperate for a pony, but I don't think ITV is showing it until next year. Next year!
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Or was his character killed off in the series?
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Or was his character killed off in the series?
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I like both these guys, but I wish they'd make better films. Ryan Reynolds, especially, seems like he has everything a giant movie star needs... except a really good film to star in. He's been good in a lot of crap - Blade 3, Smokin' Aces, Film About Evil House Whose Name Has Fallen Out Of My Brain For Some Reason - but nothing too memorable.
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and then they went on sale from their previous ridiculous price of 89.00 a season to about 17.99 a season. Yea, that's what Im talking about. Over time I picked up 1-7 at discount prices, and have watched through them all save for season 7. Most of this I caught first run back when it was on.
Overall best season IMO was Season Five. It not only gave us the most focused and interesting main mythology episodes, it had some of the most memorable stand alones. I gurantee if you even a partial fan of the show, some of the eps you probably hold dear came from that season.
For example, the very first two Danny and I mentioned, Prometheus and Bad Blood are from season 5. Also there was Detour, which had the camoflouged creatures in the Everglades. The Stephen King Doll ep. The one with Daniel Von Bargen and the terrorists that unleash a biological weapon in movie theaters. The Will Gibson ep with the killer A.I. that had the best opening of an X-Files ever. That one with the office worker who kept seeing his boss as a giant bug and his fellow employees as mindless zombies drained by the bug. And there were plenty of others. Like meeting the Lone Gunmen at a Baltimore computer convention. Great stuff. I've always wondered if it was because they shot the movie the summer before the fifth season and so they had to tighten everything up to deliver a more streamlined and to the point season, with every ep counting. -
The Amityville Horror is the name of the film.Fuck, that was annoying. Not as annoying as the Clodplay song that won't fuck off out of my head, but annoying nonetheless.
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No to both of your questions.Indeed, Ryan Reynolds hasn't had a great role to be in as of yet. I do agree that Deadpool could be it. Definitely, Maybe was a decent movie that Reynolds was in.
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It's only fair though, since he recommended it to me.
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Believe it or not, that was an accidental but highly appropriate typo.Clodplay indeed.
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Jul 10, 2008 11:46:00 AM CDT
from this day forth, they shall be known as Clodplay
by just pillow talk
So commandeth the CoC...
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Which means I'm ashamed of myself for not being able to watch it the other day, especially since I subsequently threw my money away on Dummy.I'll have to try again.
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I'll hop on the bandwagon and say that Evans is more than a pretty face. He was the only good thing about the F4 movies.And I gotta like Reynolds if nothing more than he's a Canuck. But I thought he was great in Definitely Maybe.I'm going to get flamed here but my favorite sci-fi movie this decade has been Children of Men. Minority Report (yes, I know, I know) is a close second. It's a shame I can't say a Star Wars movie or something with as much potential as War of the Worlds are contenders.Pillow, glad you're enjoying the parm. My BLT (with fakin bacon of course) was delish.
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I think Children of Men and Minority Report are good choices. I also think A.I., A Scanner Darkly, Primer and The Fountain(if you cal it scifi, are right up there too. And Sunshine.
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More people need to see it. Great movie.Danny, interesting to know you're a sap just like me. I loves me a good romcom. Love Actually is a brilliant. And here's where I get flamed again, I'm the one guy on the planet who loved Notting Hill, The Cutting Edge, Harry Met Sally and Serendipity. In fact, I watch them all once a year.
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Say what you will, but Fight Club is a romantic comedy. Guy meets girl, guy and girl hook-up but guy is hiding something, girl discovers truth and freaks out, guy learns something new about himself and is able to commit to new life with girl. The end.Not everyone agrees with me about this.For more traditional romcom nods, I like When Harry Met Sally and The Wedding Singer. Otherwise, I'm strictly a Woody Allen man. I like my relationship-based comedies to be a bit more realistic.
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had been hearing good stuff on it. Thanks for the heads up. A good romantic comedy is always welcome. Can't recall the last really good one I saw.
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I thought it was solid, but not up there with my favorite romantic comedies.Me, I enjoy Family Stone, Three to Tango, Return to Me, Notting Hill, Two Weeks Notice.
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The whole eye surgery...whoa...
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is the new whippersnapper in town. Here it comes.
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Then nobody does it better than Wilder and Allen. The Apartment, Purple Rose of Cairo, Some Like It Hot, Annie Hall. That's good stuff.Pillow, I'm going to pretend I didn't see you mention The Family Stone.
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Says what most everyone else has, with less hyperbole. The "Dr. Strange" comment I didnt know. Is he mistaken?
Imagine the forges of hell crossed with the extraterrestrial saloon on Tatooine, and you have a notion of Guillermo del Toro's "Hellboy II: The Golden Army." In every way the equal of his original "Hellboy" (2004), although perhaps a little noisier, it's another celebration of his love for bizarre fantasy and diabolical machines. The sequel bypasses the details of Hellboy's origin story, but adds a legend read to him as a child by his adoptive father (John Hurt), in which we learn of an ancient warfare between humans, and, well, everybody else: trolls, monsters, goblins, the Tooth Fairy, everybody.
There was a truce. The humans got the cities, and the trolls got the forests. But humans have cheated on our end of the deal by building parking lots and shopping malls, and now Prince Nuada (Luke Gross) defies his father the king and hopes to start the conflict again. This would involve awakening the Golden Army: 70 times 70 slumbering mechanical warriors. Standing against this decision is his twin sister, Princess Nuala (Anna Walton).
And so on. I had best not get bogged down in plot description, except to add that Hellboy (Ron Perlman) and his sidekicks fight for the human side. His comrades include Abe Sapien (Doug Jones), sort of a fish-man; the fire-generating Liz Sherman (Selma Blair); a Teutonic adviser named Johann Kraus (voice of Seth MacFarlane), and of course Princess Nuala. Tom Manning (Jeffrey Tambor) from the secret center for extrasensory perception tags along, but isn't much help, except for adding irrelevancies and flippant asides.
Now that we have most of the characters onstage, let me describe the sights, which are almost all created by CGI, of course, but how else? There's a climactic showdown between Hellboy and the Prince, with the Golden Army standing dormant, in what looks like the engine room of hell. Enormous interlocking gears grind against each other for no apparent purpose, except to chew up Hellboy or anything else that falls into them. Lucky they aren't perfectly calibrated.
There are also titanic battles in the streets of Manhattan involving gigantic octo-creatures and so on, but you know what? Although they're well done, titanic battles in the streets of Manhattan are becoming commonplace in the movies these days. What fascinates me is what the octo-creature transformed itself into, which was unexpected and really lovely. You'll see.
The towering creatures fascinated me less, however, than some smaller ones. For example, swarms of tens of thousands of calcium-eaters, who devour humans both skin and bone and are the source of the Tooth Fairy legend. They pour out of the walls of an auction house and attack the heroes, and in my personal opinion, Hellboy is wasting his time trying to shoot them one at a time.
I also admire the creativity that went into the Troll Market (it has a secret entry under the Brooklyn Bridge). Here I think del Toro actually was inspired by the Tatooine saloon in "Star Wars," and brings together creatures of fantastical shapes and sizes, buying and selling goods of comparable shapes and sizes. It would be worth having the DVD just to study the market a frame at a time, discovering what secrets he may have hidden in there. The movies only rarely give us a genuinely new kind of place to look at; this will become a classic.
There are, come to think of it, other whispers of the "Star Wars" influence in "Hellboy II." Princess Nuala doesn't have Princess Leia's rope of hair (just ordinary long blond tresses), but she's not a million miles distant from her. And Abe Sapien looks, moves and sort of sounds so much like C3PO that you'd swear the robot became flesh and developed gills. I also noticed hints of John Williams' "Star Wars" score in the score by Danny Elfman, especially during the final battle. Not a plundering job, you understand; more of an evocation of mood.
What else? Two love stories, which I'll leave for you to find out about. And the duet performance of a song that is rather unexpected, to say the least. And once again a strong performance by Ron Perlman as Hellboy. Yes, he's CGI for the most part, but his face and voice and movements inhabit the screen figure, and make him one of the great comic heroes. Del Toro, who preceded "Hellboy II" with "Pan's Labyrinth" (2006) and the underrated "Blade II" (2002), is warming up now for "Doctor Strange" and "The Hobbit." He has an endlessly inventive imagination, and understands how legends work, why they entertain us and that they sometimes stand for something. For love, for example
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Cmon, it was pretty good.
But, yea, stuff like The Apartment. Nigh impossible to beat.
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How did we drift into this strange area that seems as though it should be accompanied by cookie dough ice cream and an Enya album?Also, did I just see my man JPT give a nod to Two Weeks Notice? Two Weeks Notice! For shame, JPT. For shame!I demand we get back to discussing films where small mythical creatures stab people.
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You've Got Mail? Wow, most guys hated it. But I thought it was Hanks and Ryan at their best.Nuts to the Superman TB, they still have 100 posts to go.
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but ONCE was a great romantic film I thought. Not so much a comedy, though. Lighter to be sure.
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Jul 10, 2008 12:26:53 PM CDT
Or what about a romantic comedy where mythical creatures attack
by jonah echo
Stardust, that's one of the best romantic comedies Ive seen in some time.
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Persuasion anyone? What a freakin great movie.
Also, a truly underrated romance? The Whole Wide World with Vincent Donofrio (as Robert E. Howard) and Renee Zellwegger. -
Jul 10, 2008 12:34:39 PM CDT
I didn't want to say anything about Two Weeks Notice
by hawaiian organ donor
I'll let that one slide as it has Hugh Grant in it and I've had a man crush on him since Four Weddings.Jonah, I recently posted a huge rant about Ebert and how the guy shouldn't have any credibility. He's more inconsistent than Harry and lately he's really cheesed me off by giving worthless movies 4 stars and modern classics 2 or less. I wish him no ill will but the guy is a bum. An eloquent bum but a bum nonetheless.
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Fred read that review, and Fred read the almost sickeningly sweet glowing reviews that someone named TT posted over in the Superman TB about Superman Returns. Read those, and tell Fred if reviewers are as out of touch with mainstream moviegoers -or are just on that take, as Fred beleives them to be. The Superman reviews are simply amazingly bad.
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I honestly rarely pay attention to his "feelings" on a movie. I agree, Brazil-2 stars???? Anaconda-3 and a half???
But, I think his descriptions of movies are usually helpful in giving me a feel for whether or not I will like the movie. Sometimes he gets carried away, and I can't tell. I went to see the cell on his rec. and hated it. But I think usually the guy gives a pretty informed glimpse at a movie, at least enough to determine if you WANT to see it.
No offense to Harry or most reviewers, but I can rarely gather if I want to see because it's hard to sort out the reality of the movie vs. their praise/hatred of it. For example,check out the Highlander 2 review, which gets half a star I think. He completely makes you want to see it. Roger is o.k. by me, and his tastes are his own, and lately, quite cockeyed at that. -
Can you explain this movie to me? And then let the directors know as well, that movie went way over my head in parts.
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Romantic comedy, Sex and Death 101, the movie was funny as hell. I think it was more of a comedy with a romantic end. But worth a rental.
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The Prius rocks. It's roomy as heck, has lots of pep and feels solid. If I had the money to convert it to pure electric i would.I wouldn't say I'm a left-winger per se. I'm more of a liberal socialist. My thinking is that there should be no such thing as a multi-millionaire/billionaire not because the government takes away their money but because someone who has more money than they could spend in 20 lifetimes should feel compelled to help others. What ever happened to compassion? I mean really, get some homeless vets off the street and build wells in Africa before you buy your fifth house or tenth car. I want to be as finaically secure as the next guy but at what point do you need to stop buying crap.Personally, I'm looking forward to the the day when the downtrodden of the world rise up en masse and take their piece of the pie.
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Some people have to own 5+ cars, its a disease man. Its called Assholism.
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Your Primer breakdown posted her just made this all time best talback. Akin to finding the Holy Grail in a Mcdonald's happy meal. Bravo!! I do a regular movie night at our house for friends and whomever wants to come. This one is on the list, and I was trying to think of some helpful means to assist with the movie. You, sir, just provided the means. We are now even for that Invaders from Mars help last talkback. You rock.
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I mostly skimmed your breakdown, but does it take into account *spoiler* what I thought were some Abe or Aaron killing other versions? I see "drugged" but weren't some of the actually offed, destroyed? Ive only seen it twice, so I don't know.
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Jul 10, 2008 1:00:41 PM CDT
also, as I mentioned..the superman talkback is headed this way..
by jonah echo
new topic time?
We touched on this slightly earlier with Millions. But best children's films?
Secret of Roan Inish anyone? -
Jul 10, 2008 1:00:50 PM CDT
The spelled linear incorrectly - Fredthesaurus
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Other than that, that was a great breakdown. TCM has breakdowns of movies on their website - but only movies they show. Bit they are nothing like that one.
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That it meandered and had HUGE plot holes. Every time travel movie has HUGE plot holes. In something like Back to the Future that has a thousand things going for it, the holes are forgiven. In Primer that has negative five things going for it, the ship sinks quickly.I bought the Prius because at the time there were waiting lists for hybrids everywhere and I knew someone who knew someone at the Toyota dealership and I skipped in line. And that was wrong and I still feel guilty for abusing the system.
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Perfection really. Does City of Lost Children count? I'd show it to my kids(of a certain age) but it's clear I have issues.
One of my all time fave kid's flicks: Babe:Pig in the City. Also, the 2003 Peter Pan flick was also pretty awesome. Anyone here recall The Quest with Henry Thomas looking for some Aboriginal water-beastie called Donkajin? -
Fred not know much about the, Fred saw Blacula and Blackenstein. Fred also saw Coffy, and original Shaft. But Fred not call Shaft blaxsploitation. It generally good movie.
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This might sound strange, but COTCP is a great kid's movie. It follows a little girl who lives mostly in her imagination, and this makes her father fearful. It was a sequel, but while tied plotwise, it didnt feel the same thematically. And there were absolutely NO cat people in it at all. God Bless Val Lewton.
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Fred loved Time Bandits!
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Needs to be kicked over the side of the Grand Canyon. I don't know how anyone can sleep at night knowing the multitude of expensive cars in their gigantic garage represents a life off the streets for veterans who served their country and got hosed when they returned. I have no use for those people. If M. Night wanted my money, he would have made a version of The Happening in which rich pricks offed themselves. Have Oprah, Cheney and some of those Chinese maggots stepping in front of buses. Now THAT'S a twist!
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As was MirrorMask, though technically it's just a fantasy movie-not persay a kid's flick.
Zathura was a kid's flick, and an awesome one. -
and yes Return is a good one too. NeverEnding Story is awesome. As of course are Dark Crystal and Labyrinth and The Last Unicorn.
Bridge to Terabithia is a classic.
The Black Stallion was always cool.
The Secret of Nimh -
Fred always puts on closed captioning for Robin Hood scene - just to see if they can translate the guy who punches the peasants. The Captioners must have said 'screw it not even gonna try'. Fred would mumble like that all the time, Fred's mom began to worry about little Fred - but Fred did not punch anyone.
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but how about creepy kid's film The Waterbabies?
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Another movie Fred's mom foisted on little Fred.
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One of the few animated films I own.
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Jul 10, 2008 1:22:07 PM CDT
It's not my fave kids movie but I liked Small Soldiers
by hawaiian organ donor
Is E.T. considered a kids movie? Or The Princess Bride? If so, those are probably tied for first.Another romcom that's a guilty pleasure for me and universally despised: Fools Rush In. Selma Hayek had me salivating.
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What the heck was Disney thinking? It's seriously one of the best kid's movies Ive seen, despite it's darkness. I always found this one a great meditation on childhood and the choices that lurk at the edges, determining what kinds of people we will be. This will be a must for my kids when they are old enough.
Also, does Lady in White count as a kid-oriented scary flick? Maybe a bit darker than the rest, but I saw it when I was in 3rd grade. Great movie. -
To some extent, so was The Plague Dogs with an ending even more downing than the book. Odd.
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Jul 10, 2008 1:27:22 PM CDT
The Iron Giant is probably my third fave kids movie
by hawaiian organ donor
Also, don't know if these are more for kids or adults, but Aladdin and Beauty & the Beast are high up too.
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Mirrormask, you liked that? I've never seen something so cool looking be THAT BORING. As for Primer, yeah turns out I don't remember ANY of it. I've got a burn copy somewhere, I'll have to watch it with that as my guide. Thanks! Now who wants to explain Tetsuo? I got a topic lets discuss M-O-M... the movie not the TB'er.
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The Boy Who Could Fly? What about the Garbage Pail Kids movie? That movie is fanfuckingtastic.
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Both movie and Musical
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Ill forgive you Garbage Pal Kids.
The Navigator: A Medieval Odyssey was awesome too. Not quite a kid's movie, but I remember watching it as a kid thinking it was Flight and being severely depressed after the fact.
And animated kid's stuff: Ichabod and Mr. Toad and My Neighbor Totoro -
behold, Mac and Me!
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At least Garbage Pail Kids showed Kids getting drunk. M-O-M, what Tetsuo 2 like? And did you see the director most recent movie, Nightmare Detective 2? I thought that was pretty bad. Did not care for it.
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For some reason I had that song stuck in my head.. oh yeah because anytime someone calls in with a boring story on this radio show in Austin, they play the chorus, which never fails to make me laugh. Anyway, that is the stupidest video I have ever seen in my life.
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That Fred's all-time favorite. It had Cary Grant and Raymond Massey, and Priscilla Lane and Peter Lorre. Very funny, very sweet, and very silly. Fred's number two favorite is Star Wars. Fred all over the place.
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When I was a teenager it was my dream to become a dentist so that I could buy a Ferrari F-150. By the time I finished college all I wanted was something simple to get me from point A to point B. "Live simply" is my moto. Having knick knacks around the house that serve no real purpose is one thing, but unless it's something that you'll get regular use out of, then chances are you don't need it. I'd just rather put a shirt on someone's back than another vintage car in my garage.That Superman TB is going to eclipse this one soon. Those folks are off the hook. And I haven't even been in there so I don't know what it's about beyond the title.
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Toy Story
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Jul 10, 2008 1:45:43 PM CDT
Roger Ebert is better off not doing Ebert and Roeper.
by cotton mcknight
I don't think Ebert really ever understood why that show was so good with Gene. It's not that they were two guys reviewing movies, it was that there were two guys reviewing movies who seemed like they hated each other. When Roeper came on, a good critic in his own right, that spirit was essentially lost because let's face it, they both work for the sun-times, which makes Ebert his boss. Having said that, it seems as if that show is back on track with the semi permanent Michael Phillips, who is condescending, obnoxious, and works for the Tribune. It needs to stay this way.
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They make trucks now?
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Yeah now that roper is running the show, he is always a dick to whoever guest. He's like well you can be stupid and listen to this guy who gave blank movie a good review, or you can be right and listen to me where I gave blank movie a Bad review. OK does anyone else think its a bit crazy that the Thumbs Down is a copyrighted thing? I don't know whats worse, that or "Let's Get Ready to Rumble".
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Jul 10, 2008 1:51:47 PM CDT
I think its a conspiracy to make the Superman talkback #1
by cotton mcknight
It says "updated at 1:15 cst!" now. But there are no updates! It's the same information that was there before 1:15. The goal must be to drive people back to that discussion.Memories of Murder, I think it's exactly that. Unlike this one, they are staying on point so it will probably die off soon. It might take over for an hour or so but start to wane.
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Dr. Strangelove without a doubt. Seven Samurai, 12 Angry Men, Raiders and L.A. Confidential may very well round out the top five but lately I can't prioritize them.
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That was their anniversary car back in '87. My first car was a Skoda, then a Lynx, Tempo, Sephia and then finally the Prius. So as you can see by my track record, I never came close to owning a high performance car.Danny, I can't believe you hate Albert Brooks. He made The Scout (just watched it on Saturday in fact) which is one of my all time favorites and he did the voice for the James Bond type villain in the greatest episode of The Simpsons.
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Oliver and Company. Little Disney diddy overlooked during there low point in the 80s.
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....can Rickey borrow one of you acid tongued talkbackers for a second? There's this colossal jackass named eggsalad who's stinking up the Superman talkback. and he's crying out for a beatdown.
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Blade Runner, 2001, Apocalypse Now, Toy Story, Empire of the Sun, good choices all. And sort of all over the place. Remember what I said yesterday? None of us would probably share a single movie in our top ten and yet here we are making TB history.
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Can't say Rickey blames ya either... wading into a Supes talkback is a soul numbing experience.
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The Amazing Mr Blunden oh or First Men in the MoonI love Lionel Jeffries
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They aren't even talking about the news anymore.MOM, don't be so sure about Raiders. I bet some of the guys wouldn't top ten it.I bought the Skoda used in '88 because it was all my punk *ss could afford on a part time job while in high school salary.I keep forgetting about Full Metal Jacket. That movie could easily be in my top ten. In fact I'm watching it tonight. At the time there wasn't a star actor in it and yet every performance is outstanding. I read recently that D'Onofrio holds the record for most weight put on for a role for that movie.
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Go look at John Moore photos on IMDB. Does he not look like Harry's Twin?
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Fred ran back here. That very toxic person that eggsalad. Fred happy here too. That remind Fred of Charlie Brown song - Happiness.
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Raiders wouldn't break my top 100. You gotta remember, favorites are different from best. There is an argument for Raiders to be in maybe the top 20 movies of all time, if you combined Raiders with Jaws/ET/Close Encounters, I would say top five entry.
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I saw one night at a drive-in: Robocop and Platoon.I was never the same again.Oh, and I really despise that little fucker Jeff Albertson.
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Watched them back to back. Greatest movie experience of my life. Sad how nothing in 20 years has come close.
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Seriously, someone fucking check out photos of John Moore and decide if the MF looks like Harry! Then look at this abomination... it is what you think it is. http://tinyurl.com/5hk4dn
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Oooooooh, I just felt a shiver.
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Was when my brother locked me in the TV room and forced me to watch Aliens. Nightmares for months. But probably made me realize the power of film.
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How origianlly in Nemo you were suppose to see a half eaten Nemo's mother in the begining.
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I'm just saying, the resemblece seems uncanny to me!
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I remember renting Running Man and Predator for the first time, together. Sigh...those were the days.
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OwenFuckingWilson
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10,000 BC tonight...
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Rickey cracks up like crazy at that movie. There's something about that line: "Holy shit, we're being painted." And the use of that Buck Rogers song as the plane takes off is pretty damned nifty as well. Not a bad flick really.
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ON my link to the picture for the upcoming Ace Ventura 3 movie. If anyone cares, that kid was in Nancy Drew, and I saw him on Leno and he was actually kind of funny. I mean was Son of Mask a big enough sucess to warrant this?
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Where he is running through some space between two buildings and there is a trip wire every other step.....who would be dumb enough to set up something like that?
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Behind Enemy Lines will always be special for me because when I heard Buck Rodgers I had to know who the band was that was responsible for it. As soon as I saw the name Feeder in the credits I rushed to my computer and grabbed all their albums off Napster. They've been one of my favorite bands ever since. And that new album of theirs rocks absolutely.
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PICK IT UP, PEOPLE!
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It was a good run.
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Good luck with 10,000 B.C. tonight. May the gods smile down upon your screen and bless it with better images than the ones I saw.
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I feel like that Mike Myers jewish lady trying to throw out disscussion topics. Hold on, I'm a little veclemped.
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That Feeder song is balls out awesome. Best driving song ever.
I think we're gonnnnnnnnnna make it -
Jul 10, 2008 3:15:03 PM CDT
Do you guys feel apprehensive about newer movies
by hawaiian organ donor
On your best list? I worry that adding stuff a few years old isn't giving it enough time to percolate.For example, I was blown away by Apocalypto and think it might break the top 100. Now, is this because it was a fantastic movie or because going into it I had zero expectations and it's not as fantastic as I think it is?
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Shia Leboeuf is neither a she nor is buff...discuss.
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Did 10,000 B.C. rip that off wholesale or what?
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Rickey applauds the misbegotten madman who had the brilliant idea of picking an otherwise worthless TB to use as a sanctuary from the day to day cocksuckery that occurs in the other talkbacks. It's like elysium for Rickey's id! Sanctuary!
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I'm disgusted it was awarded to China.
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Had a lot going for it...until that lame ass Puma. It was about one step up from Triumph the Insult comic dog. Other then that I don't know why Mel doesn't do more movies? He must be a interesting person to meet. He's like Tom Cruise but with the ability to direct. I'd like to see William Smith or Tom Cruise pull off anything close to as good as what Mels made. Funny story, during the Passion of the Allah, they were filming in Rome and some of my friends where going to school with Mel's Kids and some of the producers kids and they ended up giving them one of Jesus's thumbs from the crucify scene.
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The song is called Buck Rogers and it's played when the jets are taking off from the carrier. A perfect driving song.The band is called Feeder. They're English. And depending on the day, they're my favorite band. I can't recommend them enough.
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"Buck Rogers" by Feeder. Give it a listening to--it's good stuff.
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I was at some trvia night the other day and the Olympics trials were on next to UFC. Now I really could give fuck all about sports, but it was sooo weird seeing those two next to each other. Because lets face it, there really is no point to care about all old sports, I mean who really REALLY! gives a shit if you have the world record that consists of 2 more homeruns then the last best, or 1/100th of a second faster then the last fastest? Like is that really a major event anymore? Where as UFC is just really taking off and new records are set all the time. I'm just saying, its hard to care about old sports anymore. Also knowing that those people that set those original records were real atheletes and humans, todays atheletes have too much bonus its more of a job then a passion. Also I feel like I should get used to seeing more Chinese because you know its going to be the next world power.
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Mel seems like a cool guy. You ever listen to his commentaries? He's insightful and hilarious. And he's got a real talent from direction. He needs to make more movies.
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And how his hands were nailed to a wooden cross, covered in the kernels secret recipe and he was crucified to a lovely golden brown and eaten with biscuits? Well for the movie they didn't actually drive nails through JC's (thats short for Jim Caviezel) hands they made fake ones. The thumb of one of those hands is what I'm talkin bout.
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They have a wonderful collective ethic. Great people.It's their leadership that is rotten.
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Mel Gibson should direct the new Superman.
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Hey guys. Just suffered a trip to the dentist. Actually it wasnt bad. Anyway, whats the topic?
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I'll do my best to keep posting tonight. I want to surprise Jarv, Pillow and Jonah by keeping this at the top when they return.You guys rock. Great stuff today.
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That's the topic.I'll be back on in a couple hours.
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I dont rightly know. It seems hard to pick one. For years in my teens and early 20s it was Blade Runner, but seeing all that's out there, its hard to come up with a list.
Many of the ones you guys mention before are terrific movies and constitute my favorites. I think there is so much out there for so many different times and moods, it's difficult to pick one.
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Probably one of the most underrated "action" movies of the last few years. The ending is classic. Ned Beatty: I am a US Senator! Mark Wahlberg: Exactly.
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Awww HELL NAWW! You don't be dissing no UFC! I really don't care. My roomate made me watch that shit, I sent him an article today about how people were out raged by what Sacha Borat/Bruno did at a fake UFC/MMA fight with kissing a dude, and I told him that I thought you had to be gay to like UFC? I mean your dead on about UFC, but some of that shit when two guys are evenly matched is pretty bad ass. And yeah the whole reality shows and shit, there are bunches of fighters who hate that aspect, but I mean thats what I'm saying its a new sport for our generation. If just unfare and stupid to sit there and go, "Ohh well A Rod is just like a Ted Williams". NO NO he's not. Sports were cool when it seemed like the players were real people who cared, it wasn't until sponsorship became the norm/a must to be a star some time around the early 90's with Jordon, Jackson, Barkley and its just gone hill since then. I can't respect any sports star now, especially when theres a foundation for old NFL players to help them make ends meat...REALLY? You can't even take care of your own? Its just as bad as the Waltons pushing its underpaid employees to give to an emergency funds for employees in need thing and then not even matching them by 1/4 of the employees contribution with theres.
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Jul 10, 2008 3:54:56 PM CDT
Would you believe that I have never seen Blade Runner.
by cotton mcknight
I don't know why, but I never got around to it. Another observation that is completely useless other than to keep the posts up: I tend to see the third movie in a franchise before I see the first two. Beverly Hills Cop 3, Jurassic Park 3, Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, among others. For whatever it's worth, I actually liked them all.
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So the guy who the story is about commented on the story. Big deal. Like I said, that one will probably die off. What's funny about this talkback is, I found it long after it left the front page. Or at least if its on there, I cant find it.
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Shooter entertained me on every level. I don't think it will age well but the day I saw it I loved it.I'm not a fan of the UFC but my friends are so I watch it with them. I think boxing is king when it comes to bloodsport.
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I put that under the Behind Enemy Lines file. The part where Marky Mark takes on a small army in a house, is about par with Owen Wilson running through the most bobby traped alley ever.
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That reminds me of Ed McMahon going broke because he broke his neck. He was on NBC what, 40 years or more? What about Publisher's Clearinghouse? Nobody can help him out? Oh well, I guess he should have gotten aflac.
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Makes more then the entire Florida Marlins payroll (granted they are not scheduled to win the World Series this year) but still.
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That make me respect people like Adam Sandler. Yeah he movies are stupid funny on a very basic level. But how much you wanna bet he doesn't help Tim Meadows or Schnider make it through the rough times?
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Jul 10, 2008 4:13:02 PM CDT
One thing's for sure- Sandler has kept Rob Schneider working.
by cotton mcknight
Is that a good thing?
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who thinks Tim Meadows and Don Cheadle look alike?
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who thinks Tim Meadows isn't funny and Don Cheadle isn't a good actor?
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Its cool, I didn't see Blade Runner all the way through until this year either.
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"Charro, twice!"
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anyone see this?
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That there are (2) movie theaters for sale within one mile of my house. So does anyone want to open up an independent movie theater? It eats me up inside every time I drive by because I wish I had the money to start it up. That and my mail lady actually lives down the street from me.
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Witness.
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that takes place in a similar setting to Del Toro's films, but it's a much more sedate movie, that is really lovely. It follows a little girl whose village gets the movie Frankenstein, and she goes to see it. Later her sister tells her that Frankenstein's monster is a spirit, who lives out in the woods. Their fathe is a bee keeper, and the movie follows all the members of this family as the little girl discovers a runaway soldier hiding in a barn and relates him to the monster. It's a lovely movie visually, and the depth is built into the great performances. I honestly think this is a must see. Based on the lists thrown out here, I think anyone who likes great movies or is a fan of the Karloff Frankenstein should check this out. Well worth it. It was released in the 70s. I have it on dvd, as a Criterion Collection disc.
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Kind of reminds me of the crazy cat lady from the Simpsons. I'm dead serious about opening up a movie theater, if I had a business partner I totally would. I've got some money to put up, but not enough.
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Where do you live,incidentally?
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Predator 2, Royal Tenenbaums, and of course the Lethal Weapon movies..Worst Danny role:Switchback(it was clear he was the killer the WHOLE time) Earthsea(WTF), and Beloved.
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Im looking to add some to netflix, and for this movie night thing Ive got going on. Any suggestions are appreciated.
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I'd have to say City of Lost Children. Do British films count as foreign? I wish I had a more original foreign film, but I really can't think of any. Man now that works over and I only got 2 hours of sleep last night I am fading fast.
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so is Delicatessen. Anyone see Vidocq? The movie that Pitof did before he killed his career with Catwoman?
Anyone here see The Lives of Others. It was seriously great. -
so is Delicatessen. Anyone see Vidocq? The movie that Pitof did before he killed his career with Catwoman?
Anyone here see The Lives of Others. It was seriously great. -
And have a few minutes before I hit the bike.You guys are once again killing me. Don Cheadle hatred? Did no one see Talk To Me? Please watch it and then get back to me and we'll discuss his rising stock. And Cheadle and Sandler in Reign Over Me. C'mon, throw me a frickin bone.I'm sure Sandler is the sole reason Schneider can afford his mortgage so I'm guessing he takes care of his own.A-Rod needs to die. Horribly. I enjoy sports, don't get me wrong, but I feel guilty about it because athletes go against my socialist standpoint. Overpaid bums.My favorite Glover moment? "Diplomatic immunity!" "It's been revoked!"Favorite foreign flick not from Asia? Amelie hands down. Watched Angel-A recently and instantly fell in love with it, I highly recommend it to all you mooks.
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Add Angel-A to your queue. You'll thank me later. And if UK films count as foreign, then Waking Ned Devine is my second favorite.
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Vapid hole for movies known as Charleston, SC. Though we did just get a new drafthouse which was kind of cool, the sound was a little weak (but we went opening day). The biggest theater in town has this crazy amount of neon on it. The independent theater is tiny, you have to walk through one screen to get to another. If british films count, the movie that kept me up till 4 last night, Control was amazingly good. Man I feel like I have SO many more good foreign films. Le Dernier combat, Luc Besson's first film is a fav.
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Into an industrial shredder. Before we get to his knees and he passes out, give me a Louisville Slugger so I can split open his bald head like a ripe melon.
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I could be at his house in 3 hours if I left now. I hear you on the vapid hole thing. My town hosts a moderately big film festival every year called River Run but other than that, we're podunk. We don't have an indie theater or an IMAX.
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Was a bit of a let down for me. I just didn't feel the chemistry between the two. And the dude was just a weasel and a lot of the conversations didn't go anywhere. Check out Le Dernier Combat instead. Yes Delicatessen is a personal fav, anything by that director (not gonna bother trying to spell it). Have not seen Talk To Me and yes he was alright in Reign Over me, but he plays the same guy in every movie. He is just overhyped. I think Chiwetel Ejiofor is so much better, speaking of which can't wait to see him and Danny in 2012 (you guys heard of that movie?).
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There is one in Myrtle Beach (2 hours away) one in Charlotte (4 hours). I would go to the Myrtle Beach one to see Speed Racer and TDK, but they only fucking show the nature docs there! I just e-mailed the other day asking about why they don't show movies, I am going to have a talk with the manager there tomorrow to find out why. What I wanna know is what the fuck do they do with the space where the IMAX was? Danny - I lived in England for 3 years when I was younger.
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Charleston Film Festival here and had one of the first showings of this movie, Camille http://tinyurl.com/6byxq6 and I was hoping it was going to be kind of like eternal Sunshine, but it was more like an 80's movie. OH YEAH I add it to favorite romantic comedy, its a little weird, but look at the cast (Carradine, Scott Glen).
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We need some Bollywood nut here. Bollywood movies are so bizarre.
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A-hole. I don't have anyone to watch the Oscars with.
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All my buddies were too busy watching some sport game that day. Man that shit about Carl Rove, how am I ever suppose to feel guilty about anything I do ever again? I mean the people with the most power in this country are allowed to do whatever they want with no repercussions what so ever, but I have to worry about being pulled over for speeding. I know pretty much anyone who's ever had power has abused it, but this administration doesn't even try to hid it. I wouldn't be surprised if Bush just came out and said, "Gas prices won't be going down because I got a sweet bribe." as he pulls out a joint and accidentally lights his eyebrows on fire trying to light it.
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I'll check back later.
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Chiwetel Ejiofor is also in Talk To Me and he's awesome. So there's your reason to rent it.I used to go the IMAX in Myrtle Beach and then the Liberty brew pub afterward. Good times.And this CoC crew is definitely all over the map.
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I've also followed Bollywood a little. There's a spoof movie waiting to happen.
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The IMAX in Myrtle doesn't play real movies though, just movies like T-Rex and stuff. Yeah I knew about Ejiofor being in Talk To Me. I've been meaning to rent it, but the movie Hotel Rawanda I couldn't even finish it because I thought it was bad.
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Well, Fred still put Fred's two cents - .6 cents adjusted for the infaltion that the government is denying, in. Don Cheadle is an acting God. If you saw his performance in Devil in a Blue Dress opposite Denzel, you would bow down and kiss a frog. He wiped the screen with Denzel in that movie. The Brits on here can evaluate his accent on the Oceans movies, but Cheadle can act. Fred hope Fred can do Freds part to keep this TB alive
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It almost like being there!
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Jul 10, 2008 7:05:16 PM CDT
Fred re-watched LOTR movies past three nights
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Extended versions! Fred fast forwarded through boring Elf stuff with Cate Blanchett.
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Since Fred can't talk movies by Fred's self Fred just report on life. Life: Is good.
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Jul 10, 2008 7:08:24 PM CDT
Fred not want to get banned so Fred stop now
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Keep this TB No.1!
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Jul 10, 2008 7:12:43 PM CDT
Please don't ban Fred! Fred watching androgynous wooden ducks
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
In HD! Fred had to share. How do androgynous wooden ducks procreate? That not a joke, so do not look for punch line. Fred just want to know.
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writing in the third person like Fred does. I am not really sure what the gimmick is. Why do you write like Tarzan? Why not just call yourself Tarzan, for that matter? That would be kind of funny actually. But anyway.
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Fred thank you for advice
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Is the worst movie I have seen this year. In probably the last several years, actually. When did Superman Returns come out?
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And two beers is down the hatch. So now I'm ready to put in a movie and relax. And try to keep this TB alive and well.
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Fred did Fred's part to keep TB no 1. Fred have to walk the dog in few minutes, he giving Fred mournful look.
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WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!
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You better be doing something other than posting on another talkback.
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Ill see everyone here tomorrow...
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My video of Darth Vader's life set to Sinatra's "My Way." Skip past the first 3:16 to watch the video.
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And I see that we're barely ahead with 3 posts. At least we can be proud that there are quality posts in this thread.Zohan is a rental for me. As much as I don't have anything against Sandler, I'm not sure why people pay to see that stuff in the theater.I'll probably be mostly quiet tomorrow as I need to get some damn work done for a change. Sitting at my desk all day posting stuff isn't doing my job performance any favors.
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what movie did you see?
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After the car talk earlier today, I wanted to watch some of the best chase scenes ever put to film.
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Someone from my work place sees this page and puts two and two together, I could be in trouble. I just woke up, looks like no movie tonight.
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The fucking gun, one of the biggest cock teases in movie history.
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not even a rental. i go to the movie for about the same price as a new release anyway
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I don't know why I even saw it- I guess because I was out of school and hadn't seen a movie in a long time. I picked that one first, then I saw Iron Man. The only movie that even comes close to that is when I saw "Date Movie" at the movie theater. Yes I walked out on that one.
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Jul 10, 2008 11:21:00 PM CDT
So Series 7 and Hawaiian Organ Donor are calling it quits?
by cotton mcknight
That sucks. You two are the straw that stirs the drink. I will be happy if this talkback is on the list at all tomorrow.
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Jul 10, 2008 11:23:24 PM CDT
For whatever its worth, I am keeping us 2 ahead now.
by cotton mcknight
What else to talk about? Oh yeah I'm the one who Sylvester Stallone acknowledged in one of his rounds of questions. My observation was so good, he made a point to address what I had to say. That is the highlight of my life so far.
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awesome zombie gore claymation movie (i think from japan). great. it's on ebaum's world.
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Feel asleep, had to wake up and watch Next American Dog. But going to bed now. I'll be back tomorrow.
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Especially if you like Joy Division. As for Zohan, I enjoyed it. I hadn't watched a silly comedy in a while, and i like Sandler when he's in his stupid silly mode. I think next year when Sandlers movie comes out, they should hire a documentary film crew and just film the making of the movie and put that out instead. Because Sandler movies always look like they had more fun making the movie then the movie turns out to be.
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YES I FUCKED HER!!!!!!!! I need to watch that movie again soon. I bet Carl Rove probably has one of those to use on people.
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YES I FUCKED HER!!!!!!!! I need to watch that movie again soon. I bet Carl Rove probably has one of those to use on people.
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You studied it in college? Am I meant to be impressed by that? what the fuck is wrong with you? instead of admitting the very, very obvious point that instinct plays a massive part in our decisions, you write a dull treatise on Nature v Nurture. Why can you not just admit that you do not understand what we are talking about?
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2/3rd's great. That cenobite nonsense, while not quite a deal breaker, certainly takes the shine off it.
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That's the genius of it. It looks like one, sounds like one, but isn't.
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This has got me really riled. Let me put it this way- you see a pair of tits (or a cock, whatever), and something grabs you in the guts. That is pure fucking instinct. You cannot train someone in what grabs them on that level or homosexuality would not exist. To deny this is fucking stupid. So don't give me this bollocks about trained nurtured appreciation. It simply isn't true. Oh I forgot, you studied it at the world renowned university of Oporto. Not exactly Oxbridge is it?
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Sexy vampire that only eats mobsters. She gets naked a good few times as well.
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I can do this with my eyes closed.
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when I was in Brazil recenty, we had a car that ran on petrol, gas, and some sort of biofuel stuff. You could pick which fuel source you wanted the car to run on- with a minimal difference in performance. Why does every conutry not do this? It seems like a fucking good idea to me.
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I haven't read the thread yet, but is anyone surprised they fired Singer? Seriously, that was the WORST fucking film I saw that year. Dreadful, dreadful garbage. It made X3 look like Spiderman2
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Sorry Danny, it isn't good. There is bits of it that are fun, but it's like watching a poorly conceived sketch show.
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Best non-Asian film= L'Haine. EASILY. It's one of the best films I've ever seen. Or City of God. Both deal with urban deprivation and both are wonderful. Although L'haine has VIncent Cassel in it.
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SO WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT, WE'RE GONNA MAKE IT YEAH, DON'T YOU TRY AND FAKE IT, ANYMOOOOORE The drummer from Feeder killed himself because his wife wouldn't move to Wales. True Story, Don't blame her.
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Memories, you are one fuck of a dick. Skoda's were notoriously at thaat time the cheapest fucking car on the planet. I think 3 Skodas= 1 Toyota. My first car was a little ford Fiesta, I bought it on auction when some poor bastard went bankrupt for next to nothing. It was a grand little warhorse and lasted me years. I once got it up to 120mph. Which is frightening in a fiesta, admittedly it was downhill with a following wind, a nearly empty tank and just me in the car. I'd reckon it's actual top speed (and the 145 on the clock was horseshit) would be nearer 100. Hysterically, the stereo I put in it was more expensive than the car.
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Told you I would make it, Yeah.
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See memories, this is why you're a dick. If you had the sightest clue what you were talking about (which you don't) you would know that Skoda=VW with a different badge. On the basis that they are both made by VOLKSWAGEN. Dick
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To keep your hands warm. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAOr not. By the way- NUMBER FUCKING ONE>
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nUMBER 1 IN A MINUTE
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I heard that the guy who wrote princess bride, william goldman was eating at a restaurant in NY when John Gotti, who was in the same restaurant came up to him and told him he was a fan. He offered to take him out to a club as they got into gotti's limo one of his heavies said 'my name is ignig montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die. ha ha just kidding. i love that line'
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That pretty fucking hysterical actually. And even though he probably heard that a bunch of times, I'm sure since it was one of Gotti's goons, he laughed quite hard.
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I don't know what Roland was thinking...this should have been a crazy ass spectacle, but nooooo...he wastes the fucking SABRETOOTH TIGER! There should have been numerous tribespeople mauled and eaten by said tiger. And you bet this was el cheapo ripoff of Apocalypto. And that was a solid movie...Now what I did find highly amusing was the old blind dude that they hide under the floor. Guards are coming! Quick, but the old blind dude back under the floor! Pick up your toys!
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Thank you summer hours!
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I'm at work, the only bugger in t'office and I want to go to the pub to watch the cricket.
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superman sucks monkey nuts.
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I like Perlman, and GDT, but I hate Seth McFarlane and Selma Blair. It's a tough one.
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which is fine by me. Jarv, the CoC commands thee to leave work early and consume many adult beverages at the pub.
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And since Perlman works for me, I can forgive any other dweebs that appear in the movies.
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Fuck you Supes!
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why would anyone want a sequel
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to do that. My timecard is woeful at the moment.
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whose playing?
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That main character better fucking doing super things. Or perhaps he should go to the pub and get super drunk.
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better fucking BE doing super things. Fuck you missing word.
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for not having at least a casual Friday. Muthafuckers.
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really we should get gubbed, but inexplicably seem to be doing well. It's getting to me because Lords is Just round the corner from my office.
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which would be fine, except with the women around here, it's like I'm in middle earth. Tis only a few females here that would be lucky enough to get some pillow in them.On the plus side, one of the hot chicks always wears these basically see-through tops. I know she wants me to do some motorboating.
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They sucked when they were called "personnel" now they're even worse because they think they're important. True story: despite having worked in the same company for 2 1/2 years Mrs. Jarv still gets calls about once a month from the HR department monkeys telling her that she needs to leave the country or they'll inform the home office.
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there's 2 hot ones, but generally they ming. It isn't fun
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I've never had a problem getting into the zone before, but I just got a message saying "too many connections".
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four for 403!!! you are giving those yarpies a smacking! kevin petersen 152! although, he is from south africa so maybe that should count against you. just don't let it be a draw.
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Jul 11, 2008 6:34:20 AM CDT
ah yes...that sounds like her HR dept is on top of things
by just pillow talk
They fucking dropped the ball here when we brought up one of our Mexican employees to the U.S. They had fired the two HR people who were working on his situation. Once they were gone, the remaining idiots had no idea what the status was on a number of issues.
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he's as English as Nelson Mandela. actually, He's good- so we'll have him.
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bit to quote the erudite DocPazuzu: Talkback is the Mos Eisley Cantina whereas the Zone is like Taco Bell in demolition man. Totally true.
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we don't want him. the ashes are going to sweet.
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I wanted us to get thrashed because there are 2 cretins that keep inexplicably getting picked despite obviously being rubbish and it would be the only way to get rid of them. Except one of them has done well this time. Bastard.
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You Aussies still can't paly swing.
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Cricket you say? I've actually never seen a match, nor do I know the first thing about it. In terms of popularity, how close (or far) is it to football?
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jones - grew up in oz, strauss - yarpie, joyce - irish, pietersen - yarpie, dalrymple - kenyen, mahmood and panisar - we'll leave those alone and harmison. good old harmy. no one is oz talks about wides anymore, we talk about harmies.
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jones - grew up in oz, strauss - yarpie, joyce - irish, pietersen - yarpie, dalrymple - kenyen, mahmood and panisar - we'll leave those alone and harmison. good old harmy. no one is oz talks about wides anymore, we talk about harmies.
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Nowhere near as popular as football. It's great to go to on a nice day and get pissed. Sort of like baseball. Chipps- Last ashes team- Jones (You can keep him), Joyce (gone back to the paddy fieds), Pietersen's mother is English, Mahmood, Panesar both born and raised here. But they were shit. Anyway, you've got Symonds and he is ENGLISH.Poor old Harmy.
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how much does a beer cost at a cricket game?
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our replacement keepers are Ambrose and Prior who are Australian and South African anyway. I'd still pick either Chris Read or James Foster (both of them are English) over those 2 anyway.
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and at Headingly they don't get upset if you take your own> Basically, you sit in the sun with some mates, get smashed and occasionally watch grown men playing a game. Try 20/20- it's condensed Cricket and is kind of fun.
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Do you still live in Portugal?
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I thought if I derailed the conversation onto cricket for a few posts that Iberian shithead would look at it then bugger off and we could get back to bad movies/ music. Instead Tony Ferrino's number 1 fan has seen through the cunning ploy.
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He lives in Sangette and gives hand-jobs to immigrants trying to get into the UK. He hasn't worked out that they're meant to suck his cock for passage, not the other way round.
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Let me tell you what just happened to me just the other week at a baseball game.We brought a six-pack before the game and started drinking it in the parking lot. Well a park ranger pulls up in his pickup and asks us for ID. He then says "you guys don't know what you are doing wrong?"Um, no.You can't drink beer from a can/bottle. It has to be in a plastic cup.So it's okay to drink beer on the premises as long as they don't *see* that it's beer. WTF.So we had to pay a $25 fine. Most expensive fucking Bud (fucking Bud!!!) I've ever drank.
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symonds looks like an enlishman though dosn't he? that 2005 series. i have never seen anything like. watched every minute of every day and it was incredible. cricket = religion
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five solid days of drinking. at the end you have to hide your empties in other people's bin, just to make room. you have to train in the lead up.
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a scene where Robert Loggia ate a hole in Don Rickles neck. Awesome.
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It might have changed, because I haven't been to a match in yonks (since I moved south), 2005 Ashes= Greatest sporting event I've ever seen.
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got to be a highly entertaining movie.
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It's raining now, so I don't feel to bad about missing it. And stupid cocksucking SKY have the rights here and I don't want to pay that cocksucker Murdoch £40 a month.
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And it's bright and sunny here..not too hot either.
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i never forget that ashes. both teams deserved to win. yours did. kudos to you guys.
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I remember seeing it when I was about 13. The BBFC mislabelled the video and it was 15 rather than 18 so my parents got it without realising it was full of shagging and gruesomeness.
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Night Chipps. Throw a shrimp on the barbie for me.
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Rent boy's get paid. You're more of a glory hole lurker.
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I'll gather the wood for the fire...now gather round the campfire and we'll sing kumbaya..Okay, who wants to start?*cricket* *cricket*
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erm. No.
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So the only solution is the pub. What Jarv? Are you coming down with a stomach virus? You should go home early.
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Possibly I may need more time off. Hmmm, Gandular fever or ME look like candidates. Sadly, I ony have limited funds on me at the moment, because Mrs. Jarv has the Credit Cards today, so I have to time my exit to the pub perfectly. No room for error, or I may run out of beer, which would be a disaster.
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Mrs. Jarv has the credit cards? You don't have your own? Yikes...
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Terrible idea. I don't know why I agreed to it.
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something about buggering off from work mid afternoon to the pub. She's much more responsible than me.
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Joint account or not, you still should each have a credit card.
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that I should be receiving In Bruges today.Don't make me wage pencil jihad on your asses for lying to me!On the down side, I probably won't receive Kill Zone till Monday.
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And next week I'll receive my Amazon shipment.Almost counteracts my fucking summer class. Almost.
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These missing letters/words are turning out to be rather annoying.
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But I left them at home and it's easier for her to just fetch me from the pub.
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Lucky fuckers.
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I kept meaning to see this. Colin Farrel punches a dwarf in it. How can this not be good?
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You bastards.Days off, going to see Hellboy II and whatnot, it's not bloody right.
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That has just heightened my expectations.
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Just a shade under four hours before I'm watching the red guy smash monsters and whatnot.
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I'm going to pretend to be ill so I can go and watch the cricket
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Saw it on the Film 4 the other night and it wasn't bad. Good enough that it has helped me dampen my intense hatred for Danny Dyer, anyway. Also, Gillian Anderson was pretty good in it, and she was sporting a damn nifty English accent. Not to mention, she does something extremely unpleasant to a man's anus (he deserved it). Jesus, I was actually squirming in my seat when she did that.Anyway, hello to the Ain't It Cool types.
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As I mentioned above, Roland held back the crazy for whatever reason.
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At least, I don't think so. There really is bugger all out at the moment. They should have released Speed Racer now rather than have it crushed by Iron Man and Indy.
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Soooooooo, had a decent night sleep for a change and I feel stellar. So let's address everything thus far.Jarv, putting City of God at the top of my foreign list would make sense but for all the raging and vitriol I spit around here, I'm a big softie at heart so that's why I go with the adorable French romantic comedy. It's the Schindler's List conundrum. From every angle it's a perfect movie. But it's so freakin depressing. So does it make the list because it's flawless or does it miss the list because you can only watch it once a decade from fear of slitting your wrists? I dunno if you understand what I'm saying. Not quite sure how to explain it.Cricket is something I've caught on ESPN and I have a feeling I would find it fascinating if I understood the rules. I actually read about it on Wiki and still didn't understand it.As it turns out I'm in HR but I'd like to think I'm not a tool. I'm pretty good at keeping the ship sailing smoothly and employees love coming to me as I reslove their issues on the spot. Then again I'm an HR peon and therefore aren't high enough up the ladder to be an overpaid d-bag who does nothing but look for new ways to screw the working stooges over.I've mentioned the 22-year old temp who always prances around my cubicle. The rest of the women on my floor are typical southern fare. Fat, obese and ginormous. The women on the floor above me (the bigwig floor with all the overpaid executives) are young, fit and perfect. But I only see that eye candy when it comes slumming down here for barely a tick before fleeing back to the Promised Land.Budweiser? C'mon, you can do better than Bud. Life is too short for skunky beer.Superman Returns made the same mistake the first movie made. Evil genius surrounds himself with incompetant boobs. And there was no real sense of dread. Just poorly done.Hellboy 2? I'll let you know in the fall.
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I read that somewhere. It may be bollocks though.
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of Straightheads, Gillian looks pretty hot. I seem to recall this movie coming out now after reading the synopsis.
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There's nothing quite like it. A free day off and the enjoyable sensation of screwing over the bosses. It makes you feel glad to be alive.Also, I am deeply envious, JPT. I'm looking forward to Hellboy II and it's a little sickening that we have to wait so long for it over here. I hope you understand, I hate you a little bit today. Bastard.
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Jesus, it makes City of God look like Some Like it Hot.
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My friend bought the Bud. And I would not turn down any beer given to me before a baseball game. After all, that's the shit they sell at the game.
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who is, frankly, wearing bugger all. I'm trying to work out if she has knickers on. She definately isn't wearing a bra.
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I would expect nothing less.3 hours 33 minutes till Hellboy 2.
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She's commando. Excellent. I wonder if I can drop my pen again without getting fired.
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how am I going to surreptitiously look up her skirt now?
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I don't want to go to watch it now. I shall go to a pub that doesn't have Sky
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I'm just always impressed when I hear an American pull off a convincing English accent - so many of them do it so very, very badly. Don Cheadle, for example, should be sentenced for crimes against the Queen's English.For anyone wanting to see Straightheads, there's not a huge amount to it - it's a relatively simple rape/revenge story - but if you're a fan of Anderson, it's worth a watch for her performance. She's really good.
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Now I've got a question for you Hawaiian. I've been down to Alabama, North Carolina for work, and granted, the sample population is small. But the women who work at our company down there are some hideous, well ginormous, creatures that I'm pretty sure I'll see in Hellboy 2.My question is: where do all the hot chicks from southern colleges go? Do they stay down south or go to this magical land where common men such as ourselves, are not allowed to go?
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This TB still No. ! and Fred not get banned!
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any of you called Jenny in real life? Apart from you memories- I know you're called Angela
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Drop the pen.
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Granted, I'm taking a wild stab at the numbers...
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A woman with a short skirt and no underwear wants you to see her goodies. You'd be doing her a favour, really, helping her out with her severe self-steem issues. Just pop over and ask for a quick look-see and I'm sure she'll be eternally grateful for your interest...
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pen dropped, Job retained. And she's ginger as well- so it's impressive that collars and cuffs match. Christ, I'm 30 for God's sake. You think I'd have grown out of this.
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Jul 11, 2008 8:05:25 AM CDT
Glad you finally got 10,000 BC out fo your system JPT
by hawaiian organ donor
Now you can focus on the good stuff.Colin does indeed punch out a dwarf. But his best moment is calling a group of obese American tourists "a bunch of f-ing elephants." It's a great movie. And it has Ralph Fiennes and Brendan Gleeson so you know you're in for a good show.My wife took control of our finances after my $2,000 projector escapade. I have my own credit cards but she's got them. I'm just stupid with money so it's for the best. Although we did use those jackhole stimulus checks to pay off some debt so I'm capable of restraint. Sometimes.
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at work today.Hellboy 2 day. (sorry Frankie)
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to try to raise the tone a bit... I really don't feel like work today.
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Jul 11, 2008 8:07:34 AM CDT
that is true Frankie...she definitely wants a little
by just pillow talk
"hello" from you Jarv.As long as you've still got a dick, you'll never grow out of that Jarv.
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was a mate's stag weekend in Barcelona. Apparently I went a bit nuts and blew the entire month's budget in 48 hours. She was pissed at me for that one.
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Probably to complain. Don't blame her.
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I'm looking forward to In Bruges.And I just socked away that stupid stimulus check. Bush is a fucking idiot.
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I've been watching some Battlestar Galactica lately (not bad), so I have obviously developed an interest in Tricia Helfer. Anyway, if you are bored and at home or in a safe work environment, maybe you'd like to check this out:http://tinyurl.com/5msq8pThat is woman with no retisence about showing a little skin. Good for you, Tricia Helfer.
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and yet you lot elected him twice..... Is it true that Rove is going to get charged with contempt?
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Must try to resist urge to view the lovely Tricia...
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Birdwatching is a great hobby,
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They keep showing it and we will always, always keep looking. It's not such a bad thing. That is God's artwork, as far as I'm concerned, and it would be plain rude of us not to properly appreciate it.
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and I really, really want to.
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And I haven't heard anything new on Rove to see if he actually will be charged.
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Well, they do exist. UNC and Duke are close by and believe you me, the girls you see around there make Charlize look ugly. In my town we have Wake Forest and I'll go driving through campus like a perv with my bro just to gawk at the ladies. I have a feeling these angels head off to the big city when they graduate. Whenever I'm down in Charlotte I see wall to wall gorgeousness so that must be one of their destinations.I've never seen L'Haine but per your recommendation, I'll queue it.
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There is nothing, and I cannot stress this enough, NOTHING that is more beautiful, breath-taking, and just God damn right with the world than a beautiful woman.
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She's already got her postal voting thingy filled out. I pointed out that it will be counted in California and seeing as she is votong for Obama it's a bit of a waste of a stamp, but she's having paranoia attacks about McCain winning.
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Luckily, my desk has great internet shade and I'm on good terms with the IT guy. All I have to do is make sure I don't clock up too many hours online. Otherwise, I can pretty much check out what I like (within reason).The bosses should be glad for me. These little distractions from time to time help me do a better job. At least, that is what I tell myself...
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Great movie, Vincent Cassel has never been better,
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In a statement criticizing Obama’s positions on the Iranian Revolutionary Guard, the organization claiming credit for the missile launches, McCain wrote, “This is the same organization that I voted to condemn as a terrorist organization when an amendment was on the floor of the United States Senate. Senator Obama refused to vote.”
The problem with the critique? McCain also missed that vote on the Kyl-Lieberman amendment on September 26, 2007. Records show that Obama was in New Hampshire and McCain was in New York instead of being in the Senate chamber for the vote in question.Insert old man joke... -
I'm very worried about McCain winning and what would happen in the little region known as the Middle East.Granted, I have many reservations about Obama and the economy, but...
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It's not out here yet. A couple of weeks, I think.Is it worth a look? Does it come packed with the requisite ludicrousness?
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They are young and frisky and flirty and pretty and well rounded. Fred not affected at all. Freds balls in a jar. But Freds co-workers drool like a mastiff smelling a t-bone.
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There's talk of laying contempt charges on him but the Democrats have become nothing but yes men for Bush, they won't have the sack to actually go through with it.I wasn't naturalized in 2000 so I couldn't vote but in 2004 I was in line at 5AM to try to vote that chimpanzee out of office. I'd like to apologize to the rest of the world right now for that wanker and his administration.Tricia Helfer is va-va-va-voom. And she's a Canuck so that makes her hotter.I have the feeling I'm the old guy in the club here. You guys are a bunch of yutes.
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17 years old, perky and fun. I'm far too old for her.
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Which is cool. But she's always apologising for your Chimp in chief.
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...recently got knocked up and left, which was damn depressing.. This place has not been the same since. Now, all that's left is mostly married types dealing with their various frustrations by eating themselves up a few sizes and women slowly shrinking into prune-like old age.Sigh...
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Jul 11, 2008 8:30:31 AM CDT
Rove walk, McCain lose - not because Obama better
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
But because McCain too old, and he make mistakes. He keep making them, and people will get scared.
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This one sucks, frankly.
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I am feeling older and older every day.Damn, I'm bumming myself out here. Someone say something funny.
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what about movies related to job? stuff like Office Space.
Anyone see Haiku Tunnel. A movie all about a guy's perilous quest to fight his own procrastination and lethargy to mail a few letters his boss gives him, and it almost proves too much for him.
One of my faves was always After Hours, which has little to do with the job, but everything to do with Griffin Dunne looking for a fun evening away from the office and running into a wierd hell in downtown SoHo. It's a Scorsese picture. And a darn good one. -
No, pass on it. It doesn't live up to the ridiculousness that it should.
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Something funny: See Freds name.
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just got knocked up recently as well.On the plus side, a new customer service chick just started, and she has one fine body. As an added bonus, her name is January.
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but that would require me to find a large sum of money.
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how cool.
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Damn, I was looking forward to some quality nonsense from that one.P.S. The guy who sits opposite me will not fucking stop talking about how ill he is. Is it okay for me to kill him?
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Tis a shame she doesn't know accounting.
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That's the way forward.
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yup. It's required
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Let it fly.
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If you are even slightly desiring to watch it..it will let you down. The main problem is it doesn't dare to be stupid. It's like it's trying to be safe and bland.
If you want epic silliness, fur bikinis and great monsters the one you want is 10 MILLION Years B.C. -
So we're ahead enough I think that we're good through the weekend.Is it rare for non-flame war TBs to push 2000 entries? This one really seems like it deserves some sort of recognition from the top brass.Franklin, ain't none of us 20 anymore. I feel old when I walk into Old Navy but I don't feel like I'm a few years away from pushing 40 when I'm at home with my daughter. She does a bang up job at making me feel youthful.I'd like to say I need a new job but I've purposefully picked positions over the past 5 years that required little to no production from me so I could spend my days writing screenplays. Although that's a dream I need to ditch soon because I need to start bringing home bigger paychecks.
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Here's an example of some of our finest work...http://www.aintitcool.com/talkback_display/34974
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but it's a big hit to the salary.
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Yeah, me thinks Roland wanted to try and actually make a 'real' film.He's really got to stick to what he knows: stupid silly over-the-top movies.Focus!
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Yikes. Horrid idea.
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I can hardly even comprehend how I managed to work a full eight hour day back in the days before offices had internet connections. It blows my mind. Nowadays, I can get my nine hours of work done in the morning, then I've got the afternoon to chit-chat here, cheer myself up by looking at pictures of Tricia Helfer, and download the new Weezer album.That is what I call productivity.
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They're lucky if they get 1 out of me.
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Hey fellas. Take a look at Mori's TDK TB when you get a chance. Hilarious!
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I gave some serious thought to doing it as a mature student last year, but it's so horribly fucking expensive that it just wasn't practical. I'd still love to go, though.
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an interesting article regarding the Adam West Batman from the view of the scriptwriter:
http://www.variety.com/article/VR1117988712.html?categoryid=3184&cs=1
It has inspired me to put Batman:The Movie on my netflix queue.
And if any of you out there haven't seen it, then you need to.
"Some days, you just can't get rid of a bomb!" -
But that TB had a lot of alternate movie titles in the subject line with nothing in the body or body's that contained one sentence.This TB has had mostly meaty entries.Shame I only started posting here as a regular a few months ago. I could've been contributing for years but was always too fearful of getting dragged into a nasty exchange.
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Maybe it's time to start the schlock equivalent of Book of the Month club or something. Everyone converges on the same cheesy movie every week.
Or, just keep posting every random thought that comes to mind. -
Pretty good article. A little over-written, but, that the fuck, the guy's eighty-five, let him get as much use out of all those words as he can.I must admit, I'll take sixties Batman over any of the modern iterations. Not to say the new ones are not good, but the old ones are just my kind of goofy fun, and the film is great. I would rattle on about Batman fighting a shark, but I think I did that before in another TB. Batman and LL Cool J: They are like brothers.
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Yeah, I figured he would continue to post his "supremacy". I really do not like that drippy little whore.
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Jul 11, 2008 9:11:12 AM CDT
Hawaiian...yup, but that is part of the CoC learnings
by just pillow talk
respect the bear.
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are that you get so many different variants.
You have that old, no so great serial from the early days.
You have the campy jokey Batman.
The gothic, brooding fairy tale.
The only one without any value is the Schumacher take because instead of being it's own thing it tried to be a combination of Burton and the tv.show and what a horrid afterbirth it was.
Finally, you have this more realistic, crime story take. It's my favorite so far, but I would argue that all the takes (save for the Schumacher stuff) have resembled SOME facet of the comic. Even the daffy sixties one. -
That TB was ridiculous, and it went on for weeks. I stopped counting when it went over 5000 posts.
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in mentioning the Batman:Animated Series. That, to date, has captured all the facets the best, and created a work that truly harkens back to the comic.
To think it started airing in the fall right after Batman Returns, and had the guts to keep more traditional takes on Penguin and Catwoman, speak well of the team behind it. -
The one thing I admire about Schumacher's version is he managed to make two huge family-friendly summer blockbuster type films with a heavy gay subtext in both of them. How often do you see that? The films themselves are shit, but I do take my hat off to Schumacher for his quiet rebelliousness.
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It hits all over the place and yet manages to "stay on target."The job I had before this, I was doing about an hour of work a week. I would spend 7 hours a day writing and take 2 hours lunches at the Mexi restaurant. On Friday around 4:00 I'd finally pull up a spreadsheet and crunch stuff. No wonder I was the first one to go when they downsized.
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My wife and I checked it out, and Bluray didn't do much for it. It wasn't very good actually. It's passable, and does a nice job of evoking Batman, but seriously, the animation style that worked for Animatrix DOES NOT work for Bats. Also, they were trying to tie this into one somewhat coherent story and the varying styles clashed, as well as the individual eps(only six) were very slight.
Animatrix was taking a whole world and telling diff stories from it. It was very successful, more so than the following movies.
This is more like a tease to prepare one for the movie. Rent it, like I did. Don't buy it. -
So for me, I like Nolan's take the best so far.
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They go through the whole goddamn Revolutionary War, and at the end his fucking kids haven't aged one day. That drives me fucking nuts ...
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Unless like me, you suspect that Schumacher didnt subversively do anything, but rather that is all so much his sensibility,(just as brooding outsider complex is Burton's) that when asked to do a stylistically extreme environment, that all that just came out. By that point, it wasn't so much a conscious decision likely, but Joel thinking"How can I NOT put nipples on the Batsuit? Isn't that the way it would look?"
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This is a tightly run office, so everything we do is logged and recorded and measured and whatnot so they can make sure we're all pulling our weight. What that means for me is I make sure I've logged nine hours worth of work (for an eight hour day - it's my experience that bosses always want more than they are reasonably entitled to) before I slack off and bugger about for the rest of the day. My ass, basically, is covered.I would be fucked if I actually had to work for nine whole hours of every day. I think I'd rather be homeless.
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Look at the stories for both Schumacher's Batman entries. They're about men coming together and forming partnerships, ignoring the women around them, duality, the secret side of yourself you keep hidden from the world. It's all gay subtext, in my opinion, and I do think it's deliberate. There's too much of it not to be deliberate.
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Everything. It's drivel
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a real arsehole. He's not as bad as memories though.
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England are over 500. I'm definately off to the pub at 4 to watch the last few hours.
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Regarding working nine hours a day...I would go insane. That is why I loathe to move to another job closer to home. I could probably find a job making a bit more, but I'd have to work a lot more hours more than likely. Being an accountant, I'm lucky that I only work till four each day. Most places are not like that for the accounting dept.
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I cannot stand that little prick.
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Despite the fact that I now work in Education, I still have to come in during the school holidays. Which has to be the shittest thing ever. I was going to temp (moonlight)for the 2 months to get some extra cash in, but instead I have to come in to my actual job.
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Aussie gap year chick would not be wearing what she is if the pupils were in. So every cloud has a silver lining.
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I've never pulled my weight in any job I've ever been in. I'm lucky to be collecting a paycheck.The Lost TB had to carry over into another TB because it got so big. But what I find impressive here is that there's only 5-6 of us hanging in there managing to keep the thing afloat. Of course, everything I post is drivel but I'm an imbecile so I'm excused.Jarv and MNG deserve some praise as they are currently posting in Mori's TDK thread fending off some wanker.Should I go with beer, wine or rum tonight? The wife wants to watch PS I Love You so I need to figure out which elixir will get me through 2 hours of Hilary Swank.
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HAve you noticed there is a real breed of arsehole misery troll around at the moment: Merriman, I am Batman, IndustryKiller, Jeff and so forth. They're just completely joyless individuals.
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...I didn't mean to get into it with Jeffrey. I just saw his overwhelmingly pompous and arrogant posts and I couldn't help myself.
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Rum, or you may need something stronger. I'm watching V for Vendetta tonight, athough I'm sulking because it was meant to be Humanoids from the deep and lovefilm arbitrarily chose to swap it.
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From accounting to education to HR to what I assume are sound engineers, we've got the professional map covered.I'm going to need you to explain the scorig thing to me someday Jarv because 500 seems wild. And how long does a typical match last?
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and 500 is really, really good. Especially for England, because our batting sucks like a dyson.
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While I scrape together the cash to go and finish my law qualifications. I've never addressed Jeff before, and wasn't going to bother, but he posted an essay on the difference between Opinion and Fact and then presented an opinion as a fact straight afterwards. A complete tool For example: Memories of Murder is a complete shithead is my opinion, but if I said Memories of Murder gives hand jobs for crack then that is a fact.
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I liked Agent Smith a lot but other than that, ummmmm, not so much.Rum it is. I still have some left over from my day off last week.I've always wondered why joyless individuals post here. When people hate on Shawshank and The Godfather you gotta think these guys hate everything. I realize Jarv and I will never see eye to eye on The Patriot, but he's not wishing me death for liking it.
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You've basically got to get the other side out twice. So up to 5 days. This one will probably go the distance because the weather is crap, but usually you expect a result on Day 4.
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and I'm distressed to find myself in the same camp as memories- I just can't stand it. The Patriot was right in the middle of Mel's anti England phase where every fucking film he did had English baddies. Pissed me off no end.
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Fred just posted to Jeff about difference between Fact and Truth. Fred told him that they are sometimes very different things.
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obviously, is that a reason can also be an opinion. He's a git.
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but I thought P.S. I love you wasn't that bad.And I still found enough in V for Vendetta to like it.And fuck off to all the joyless asshats who frequent threads and post their know-it-all bullshit.
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But Fred not like it either. It was a movie that never really connected with audience. Perhaps the plaster mask got in the way. BUt Fred think it was the way character was played. There was no real feeling there. Portman dd a good job as well as Rea, but Elrond was too distant - Fred knows he was supposed to be, but when coupled with the mask, it made it hard to sympathize with him.*SPOILER* Did he intend suicide at end of movie, is that why he let himself get shot so many times?
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Jul 11, 2008 10:04:30 AM CDT
The villains are too cartoonish for me to think of them
by hawaiian organ donor
As British or anything for that matter. Isaacs and Wilkinson chew the scenery so vigorously, they become wonderful b-movie villains to me who just happen to have English accents. But I see where you're coming from. Braveheart and The Patriot back to back could be infuriating if you're fortunate enough to be English. Man, I love the English. In fact, there's talk that the 2010 World Cup is going to be moved to an alternate location (WTF was FIFA thinking awarding it to South Africa?) and that London is the top candidate. If that's the case, you'll see me back in London in 2 years.
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Indeed, The Patriot is nothing more than a B-movie with a big star attached. The bad guys are exactly what Hawaiian said, just cartoonish bad guys who happen to wear red coats.I really need to get over to see London one of these days. But thanks to the fucking dollar (soon to be known as the American Peso), I'll have to get a home equity loan.
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I'll go into PS I Love You with an open mind then.I just can't get over what an AICN contributer (Capone maybe?) once said about Hilary Swank and her face that could ward off demons. Rockin' body but that face. I'd have to flip her over.
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Jul 11, 2008 10:11:48 AM CDT
Fred think of another movie with character named Rob Roy?
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Sort of like Braveheart. Fred not remember. Any help?
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Liam neeson. Tim Roth and John Hurt chew scenery, Jessica Lange completely fails to do a Scots accent. Shit.
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Pat Cash won Wimbledon the day we left for Belgium. Most vivid memories of any trip I've ever taken. The tubes, Picadilly, the pubs and that amazing Tower Records store blew me away. I've been desperate to get back the past 20 years but money and obligation trips to Seoul with the wife have kept me away.
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Tell you what, though, If you think it's bad against the pound (it is), you should see the FUCKING EURO. It's up to 1£-1Euro. I couldn't fucking believe it. We're getting the 2010 World Cup? Oh good, we'll manage to qualify for sure then.
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Was movie named Rob Roy? Fred barely recall, but now Fred remember it was Liam. Bad movie.
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Heavily. It's an overpriced Victorian piece of shit. Every summer it gets up to temperatures that you're not allowed to transport animals in. I walk to work, so it isn't a problem for me, but I really hate it.
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Tim Roth was great, but not a lot else to watch in it.
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I saw it in the theater and enjoyed it. Was it never good to begin with or has it aged poorly in 10+ years?I love Liam Neeson. I knew he was headed for greatness after his turn in Krull.
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I haven't seen it in a long time so I may be being harsh on it.
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200 posts clear. Impressive.
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Have a good weekend guys,
I'm off t' pub to watch the last hour or so of the cricket. Enough work. -
So I thought the system was amazing. Once again, maybe 20 years have distorted my already shoddy memory.FIFA is being tight lipped on who the three countries are who've stepped up to the plate in the event that South Africa fails to have things ready in time for the Confederations Cup next June (looking more and more likely). Rumors are that England is one of the three and the top contender since they haven't hosted since '66.
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Good luck with the match. Raise a pint in my name.
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The advantage of giving it to England is that we already have loads of top grounds so wouldn't need to build, and we're used to dealing with hooligans so no problem there. Blatter hates the English though, so is more likely to give it to mongolia than us,
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By the way what does Jarv stand for if Fred can be so bold to ask?
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We should all post at least once to keep it so!
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But it looks like it's down to you and me. Even Danny isn't posting today.So the stock market is plummeting and if the Fed doesn't bail out Freddie and Fannie, the US is officially sunk.Can we personally punch every person who voted for Bush TWICE to allow these incompetant boobs in charge of the ship?
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Jul 11, 2008 11:28:22 AM CDT
Hawaiian Organ Donor.. um.. I voted for Bush 4 times.
by cotton mcknight
Twice when he was running for governor and twice when he was running for president. And you know what? I really wouldn't change anything. He did a good job as governor and honestly, I think Gore and Kerry would have been worse. You COULD make an argument for Gore (and it would have kept him from this ridiculous "Inconvenient Truth" stuff), but there is no way on earth I would vote for John F. Kerry, for anything. Not even dogcatcher.
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Jul 11, 2008 11:31:17 AM CDT
I have a question that pretty much confirms i'm a loser.
by cotton mcknight
So i'm on Match.com, and I get those emails every week telling me what my matches are. There was one girl on there that looked really hot, but here's the thing. She said her favorite hobby is World of Warcraft. I have a vague idea of what that is, but what i'm wondering is- doesnt that game consume people? Is it a good idea to go out with someone who declares their love for it?
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Seriously, if you replace any movie she has ever been in (save for Leon) with Keira Knightley, it would instantly become a better movie.
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When I left, it said 514, now it says 504. And two have been added since I left.
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You not Fred, Fred is Fred. But Fred take it as a compliment.
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Jul 11, 2008 11:53:09 AM CDT
Ugh. One of the cool things about this talkback was..
by cotton mcknight
the lack of politics. Needless to say I disagree with LiberalWarrior (with a name like that how could I not), but I don't really want to turn this into a circus. Let's just say I agree to disagree.
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Because we got fired....by that I mean raging blazes of heat. BUT that may mean I am out of the job, but that means I can watch more movies! Well I just woke up after watching Little Britain Live which was a lot funnier and different then I thought it would be. Amazed this is still going on, gonna go get some schlotzsky's and be back. Jarv, I've been really wanting to see La Haine, did you see Control? Cottne, for WOW, you need to go watch the South Park episode Make Love Not Warcraft. Its probably the best South Park ever, I think you may be able to watch it on South Park Studios.com, it has a kick ass Paul Stanley song in it. I'd rank it up there with Eye of the Tiger or The Touch.
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When balls are in jar, that all you have left!
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Jul 11, 2008 12:09:10 PM CDT
Fred actually agree with some of what you said
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
But Fred not think it was neocons who put Bush up to it. Fred agree with Cotton McKnight - any relation to Brian? That this TB is better off free of politics, but it is a free world, so you can post what you want. Anyone here like Cerebus the Aardvark?
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Jul 11, 2008 12:18:02 PM CDT
A) I'm not stupid. B) I didn't say I would vote for him again.
by cotton mcknight
I am just saying that in the 4 elections where he was running, he was the better candidate. I'm sorry but that's what I think. Would I vote for him in 2008? Running against Obama? Um.. well.. if Barack Obama actually said anything that had any substance I would give you an answer. His eloquance really does mask the fact that he is either incredibly stupid, incredibly naive, or just incredibly ignorant. I haven't really figured out which one it is just yet. He has no basic concept of how anything works in terms of foreign diplomacy. Domestically? Yeah he's probably be alright.
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Cotton McKnight was the play by play man (played by Gary Cole) in Dodgeball. "It's time to seperate the weak from the chafed, the men from the boys, the awkwardly feminine from the possible Canadian".
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Jul 11, 2008 12:24:35 PM CDT
OK, let's do our best to keep the vitriol out of this one
by hawaiian organ donor
We've done a helluva job keeping it polite so far.Series7, good to have you back. You have wildfires we're you're at? Haven't heard about that in the news today.Cotton, I'm not even going to get myself in a ball of rage insulting you. As most people around here know, I dislike both parties. The Dems and Repubs are both equally worthless in my eyes. I thought Kerry was a turkey from the get go. However, I voted for him with the hope he would start to work us out of Iraq and further into Afghanistan where the real battle was supposed to be fought. And I think he would have done a better job of keeping an eye on our economy. I understand Bush isn't a wizard who can wave his wand ad make everything better, but his administration sat around and did nothing while all the predictions pointed to things going south during his second term. At the very least, even his most ardent supporters have to admit he's been incompetent. All signs point to us hitting rock bottom a la The Great Depression and it all happened on his watch. As President, he's just been a monumental failure, plain and simple. He continues to fiddle why Rome burns. If he had a shred of decency he would go in front of the American people and admit the stimulus checks didn't accomplish anything other than giving Wal-Mart and Costco a small boost and keeping some families afloat for a week or two. All it would take was "Sorry about the economy folks. It's not all my fault but I certainly didn't help. I know you're hurting. I'm an ass for not being aware how much you're paying for a gallon of gas and it looks like it's going to up to the next guy to clean things up because i sure as hell can't or won't." Instead he stays completely mum. A real patriotic President consoles his people during their darkest times and I'd say that right about now, things are the darkest they've been in over 70 years. The guy can't even go out with a little class. So he's a bum, plain and simple.As far as Warcraft goes, there are casual gamers (I used to be one) who can still have a social life outside of the virtual world. If she plays WoW she probably is a geek in other spects of her life and that's the jackpot right there. My wife doesn't like anything I do so other than politics and our daughter we have nothing in common.Series7, I'm going to watch Control just so that you can talk about it with someone even though I know nothing about the Joy Division.
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what's up with that? I have posted like 4 things and the count stayed at 505. Now we are back to 501. Oh well doesn't matter. I just thought it was odd.
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If I don't slap you for voting for that chimpanzee four times, I'll slap you if you don't pursue Warcraft girl. A hot gamer? You've struck gold, dude.
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Jul 11, 2008 12:36:17 PM CDT
Fred saw dodgeball. Did not remember Gary Cole character name
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Fred loved the part when Rip threw wrenches at team! Fred almost cry when Rip got crushed - cry lauging that is.
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Fred not sure why. Maybe we shoudl say something about Roland? RE is a bad director! There that should do it.
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Fred think that is a funny word.
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Domestically I think he can help us recover, internationally, who knows, but it's not like he can make things worse than they already are. He's both naive and unable to take a stance. McCain frightens the hell out of me but the twisted side of me wnats him to win so that Americans can sink lower than rock bottom and finally realize they got what they deserved. Then from rock bottom we can pull our heads out butts and try to rebuild without politicians who are beholden to corporate interests. This country needs a fresh start.OK, I'm done talking about politics now. It's pointless.
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Fred might also have been described by that word sometime too!
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This TB degenerated into pointless soul-sucking political debate and no one invited HoboCode?
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There I said it. The ESPN The Ocho stuff had me falling out of my seat.
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That means he must be able to play across spectrum. Fred would be disappointed if Obama stuck to losing Democratic script instead of trying to win in country that is still skeptical.
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that I am actually defending George W. Bush. Seriously, I jumped off his bandwagon shortly after his second term began. In many ways, he is a HORRIBLE president. Not only for straying away from the idea of smaller government, but the way he has used his position has been awful. The president has the unique ability to bring a country together by using the bully pulpit, and if he had a good idea, he should have been out there explaining it to people. He should have forced the democrats to go along with his social security reform, but he got his ass kicked. He is completely ineffective as a leader in many, many different ways. Having said that, I think his foreign policy has been relatively good and that's the ONLY reason I would even think about voting for him in a future election (which of course is hypothetical). I know that Iraq has been a "disaster" but think of where we are now. 1) Iraq has been stabilized and they are actually demanding a timetable for us to leave. It seems as though democracy is taking hold over there, which benefits us. Think about it.. a democracy in the center of the middle east? I know that this was his plan all along but it seems to be working. 2) Saddam Hussein wasn't exactly an angel. I fail to understand why we have to do something about Milosovic and various African countries but Hussein is another story? The blame for that falls squarely on G.W. Bush, who completely failed in selling that war to us. The human rights angle would have been just fine, because it WAS a legitimate issue. By putting it on "WMD's", it turned this whole thing into a bumper sticker slogan. 3) North Korea. Somehow, some way, we navigated through that minefield and reached the other side. North Korea has all but destroyed their nuclear program, even going so far as to destroy one of their power plants in a symbolic gesture on live tv. I remember the critics saying "hey if we don't like Iraq, we invade them, so how come we don't do that to North Korea?", pointing out the "flaw" in Bush's policy. The point is, different situations call for different measures. This is why I hesitate with Obama- he has said things that really make me wonder. For example, he criticized McCain for saying that we would have a presence in Iraq for 50 years. Even the reporters said "Senator Obama, don't you think he meant that we would have a base there like we did for Germany and Japan in WW2 and South Korea after the Korean War?". Not only did he not answer the question, he went off on how Dan Rather is in the audience and how everyone should give him a round of applause. What? And earlier this week, he criticized the Bush administration for increasing exports to Iran during his administration, sending a mixed signal. He has every right to disagree, but I truly wonder if he understands the strategy here. By exporting consumer goods like cigarettes and other western products, we are creating a presence in Iran. Just like Levi's in the Soviet Union. The idea is, the more people there become comfortable with the west, the more they will reject their fanatic leaders. If you have a successful democracy right next door in Iraq, the whole thing might just implode from within. Now that's not the ONLY solution out there, and anyone is free to disagree with it. But does Obama even understand? See that's what we need. A sophisticated dialogue between McCain and Obama that really shows us what these men are thinking. McCain tried to get the ball rolling by proposing 10 town hall meetings and a joint trip to Iraq, but Obama refused. The more I see this "candidate of change" who is for "hope", the more I see a typical run of the mill politician who has a nice speaking voice.
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Fred laughed too! Fred not ashamed, even though it was Ben Stiller. maybe that new topic. Ben Stiller movies. We have all seen them - admit it.
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How goes it?Politics creeps into everything, dontcha know? Especially with the stellar economic news released today. Yea!!! Our 401Ks are in the toilet!!! We're all going to be out on the street soon!!!What a joke Congress and the White House are. Boo-urns!!!
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I'm in agreement that Obama is panderign to the center right now in an effort to get elected, however THAT IS the losing Democratic script. If they actually stuck to their beliefs they solidify their base rather than alienating it and bring it new younger voters who tend to adhere more to Democratic values.
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I got tired of talking to the wall of self-righteous pretention known as DocPazazu and thought I'd see what you all were up to.
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Bill Shatner and Chuck Norris were funny (Thank YOU, Chuck Norris), but what makes it a classic is Lance Armstrong. "Well good luck Peter, I'm sure this decision won't haunt you for the rest of your life".
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Her profile says she hates big budget movies. I mean that's not a dealbreaker but I wonder how much I would have in common with her. If she doesn't like Die Hard, then we might be two ships that pass in the night.
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Jul 11, 2008 1:07:18 PM CDT
For whatever its worth, I think superman lost posts too
by cotton mcknight
Werent we both at 335 at some point last night? Now they are down to 219.
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Jul 11, 2008 1:08:33 PM CDT
Fred say Kerry and Gore proved that playing to base = losing
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Clinoton played to broad spectrum. He won. Cotton McKnight, Fred not want to get drawn into politics, Fred was very happy talking about bad movies, but Fred have to answer some things you say. If you going to nitpick everything Obama say, then you must do so for McCain, For instance , the 100 year remark. That was politics. Any smart politician would have jumped all over that to gain advantage. Obama, very smart. Obame knew what he was doing. What about what Mccain say yesterday, about Iran vote? He not only mischaracterized Obama's vot (Obama not even present), he forgot he was not even present for vote himself. What about Phil Gramm calling Americans Whiners? Iraq not stabile. Troops and civillians still getting killed. Civil war still threat. Iraq not democratic. When U.S. leaves, Iraq could descend into chaos. Ok, back to B movies. Fred done with politics, it makes Fred's head hurt.
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The EPA lowered a person's worth by nearly $1 million from 5 years ago. The value of a statisical life is now $6.9 million. Seems stupid but the result is that the less the government feels life is worth, the less they see a need for regulation and tighter restrictions on pollution, and such. Of course this is all the work of Bush, who's deliberately lowerign the cost of a statistical life in order to avoid tougher rules.
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I'm not going to change your mind, Liberal Warrior, and you're not going to change mine. So let's end that argument right now.
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I'm the first one willing to admit some things in Iraq are better. Vendors now sell liquor, young couples hold hands in public, women are dumping the burkas and here and there you can actually smell democracy in the air. But here's the catch. It's only possible so long as we have a formidable presence there, and by that I mean 100,000+ troops. The powers that be over there don't want a democracy. They want it to be like it was in the Saddam days when each had control over a certain territory and they could impose their will as they saw fit. So if the day does come that we have a significant withdrawl (leaving only 10 or 20 thousand permanent troops there), then the old guard will swoop in and undo everything our men and women died for.So here's the catch 22. Do we keep 100,000+ troops on the ground in Iraq permanently and bankrupt ourselves through debt or do we pull out and try to stabilize our economic situation? Because we can't have it both ways. We can't spend $4-5 billion a month in Iraq and rescue our economy at the same time. Is democracy in one small part of the Middle East worth Joe Six Pack being on the street with his family because he's out of a job? I'm betting even the good old boy at that point will choose his own well being over the fearmongering of having to fight them over here because at the end of the day, we're all more concerned about having a roof over our head than the "nefarious" plans of faceless dictators overseas.And Saddam was a saber rattling joke. He was no more a threat to us than a hurrican is to someone living in Kansas. He was a boob. Same as Ahmedinejad. Iran had to doctor the missle launch photos to make it look like they fired more than they did. These guys are nothing but clowns.Saddam never killed his own people. He gassed and killed people in the north who no more his own people than the Mexicans were. Iraq is a fragmented country so the people in one territory are the sworn enemies of people in another territory. Nobody ever accused Lincoln of killing his own people. They call him a hero for putting down rogue states that clung to a barbaric belief.I wanted to see Saddam removed as much as the next guy, but on the list of truly evil dictators who need to go, he was about tenth on the list.If anywhere we should be in Africa. That's an honest to blog genocide and Mugabe and those other tyrants are evil incarnate.
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Jul 11, 2008 1:33:53 PM CDT
But whatever, I'm the guy that wants ALL of humanity
by hawaiian organ donor
Wiped off the globe. We need a planet killer. We had our chance and we blew it. Humanity is a compassionless failure. Let someone else have a chance.And before I forget, anyone who says "An Inconvenient Truth" is science fiction is in denial. Gore is a jerk because he talks out of both sides of his mouth. He leaves a mammoth carbon footprint so he's a hypocrite. But Americans who dismiss global warming and the effects we have need to travel overseas. Things aren't happening at quite the rate that those hysterical chain-themselves-to-trees nuts proclaim, but to say we're not having a profound effect is ignoring the situation. Tell that to folks in third world countries where the effects are felt everyday. But Gore is a terrible spokesman because he craps where he eats.Memories of Murder, yes I did see your post on CONTROL. You and Series7 have rattled my interest.
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Well, if nothing else. it kept our TB at the top! Stil, Fred prefer not to mix politics and schlock. It degrades up the schlock.
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Jul 11, 2008 1:39:56 PM CDT
My wife and I don't agree on any movies but romcoms
by hawaiian organ donor
But we're still chugging. I have my own home theater in my man cave upstairs and I watch all the fist flying, guns blazing, flaming leg kicking stuff I want and it all works out.Tonight for instance, we'll watch PS I Love You in our shared home theater downstairs and she'll be in heaven while I nurse a bottle of rum and dream of the boxing I'm watching with the guys tomorrow night.And for the record, Roger Ebert hated Die Hard.
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The film legacy of Ernest Borgnine and his best/most awesome role?
I straightaway nominate "Cabby" from Escape from New York.
and to reopen the meeting famous people, Borgnine was at the same campground as my family in P.A. back in 96. I recall him really holding his own at "all you can eat ice cream night". -
Are you referring to this post or was there one that was possibly deleted since guys claim we're losing posts:"You will love CONTROL. It really is one of the best movie made last year. It's really one for keeps. And next, i want to watch the documentary JOY DIVISION, i heard it makes a great complement/double feature with CONTROL."Because I read that one but didn't see you mention it anywhere else.
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Jul 11, 2008 1:42:30 PM CDT
Wow,Fred jealous. All Fred have is 12 inch B&W with aluminum foi
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
antenna, and a bottle of Wild Irish Rose.
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Jul 11, 2008 1:45:00 PM CDT
Ernie in From Here to Eternity. Or Black Hole
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Both despicable. But Eternity was scary good.
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Naw man, just my office caught fire. No one knows how bad, everyone is worried about there job. As for Control, if you don't know anything about Joy Division you may want to start with 24 Hour Party people its also a great movie. Man Schlotskys deli is good. Now I'm going to watch the 2008 Hotdog eating contest, I don't know who won so no one say anything. I'm rooting for Chestnut.
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Interesting choice.Marty and The Wild Bunch. He's superb in both.
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24 Hour Party People, Control, Joy Division. Box set? Man the hot dog eating contest is moving down to 10 minutes this year, thats gotta be a huge change.
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"Dreaming of space again, your majesty?"
"Well, you can start by cleaning this space right here." -
Series 7 - Fred won the contest. Fred was late darkhorse entrant. Fred consumed so much tubed processed pig product that Fred felt like a canibal for eating other pigs!
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There is going to be a competitive eating game for the Wii!!!! YES! Speaking of weird sporting events, has anyone see that National Lampoons movie Bag Boy? About competitive bagging? I used to bag I would've killed there.
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and voiced one of the Commando Elite in the terribly underrated Small Soldiers.
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That's funny. The screenplay I'm waiting to hear back about that I sent out recently is a mockumentary about competitive eating. In preparation I learned all about the big name eaters with the IFOCE. Joey Chestnut, Sonya Thomas and Kobiyashi can really pack those Nathan hotdogs away.If you're really into competitive eating Crazy Legs Conti has a documentary out called Zen and the Art of Competitive Eating and he's a pretty likeable guy.The whole thing is disgusting yet fascinating.
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for some reason it wasn't sitting there in my mind. Cabby was, so I mentioned him.
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of soon to be Japanese brides racing to see who could eat an entire cake to win a wedding dress?
Also, my explanation for the "missing posts". It lists top posts in 24 hours. Every hour it changes, and some hours have more posts than others. -
Oh well.
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On my TIVO to watch. If only I could stop wasting my time with reality TV I would get around to watching it. You ever seen Borgnine's wife on shopping TV? Is the first Willard worth seeing? And the sequel? I've seen the Willard with Crispin Glover. Fun fact I just found out Christopher Smith Jr. is better known as Will Smith. Has anyone see What Is It?
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Honestly how can you stand it? I can get through two seconds before I want to carryout murder-suicide.
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If you want to be a completist B-movie scholar, see Willard and Ben. They are both decent, but in my opinion, the remake with Glover, while not necessarily a terribly great movie, was a better movie than the original.
And someone on the other side of my cubicle is playing Abba's Dancing Queen, loudly through their headphones, on repeat for the last hour and a half. No exaggeration. -
Saw Borgnine's wife, but just that one weekend at the campground when they were there. Never on shopping t.v.
But speaking of Borgnine and wife makes me recall his movie wife in Poseidon Adventure was Stella Stevens. There's a movie due for a watching on the projector. It's one of my wife's faves, so I'll have to surprise her and throw it on sometime this weekend. -
Concept of global warming. He has this rant about how everyone no a days is always worried about the environment and how plastic is ruining it. He goes on to say how the Earth has been through ice ages and all this and how humans are probably just a bad cold to the earth, and maybe we were put on here to make plastic since its not natural and after were gone earth will just incorporate plastic will becoming a natural resource.
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Discuss.
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was terrible.
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That's a good one. Dennis Hopper as the kooky scientist. But the scene my young mind coveted was the battle with the dinosaur. It was fakey even then, but I was starved for movie dinosaurs as a kid, and before Jurassic Park, they just werent in abundance without going back to O'brien or Harryhausen. So, if they showed up at all I was happy.
One of my earliest theater experiences(after Return of the Jedi, my first) was Baby:Secret of the Lost Legend. I saw it on my sixth birthday. It had dinosaurs. Not great ones, but there they were and my little mind was awed. So, later in the summer before middle school and high school, I was still awed when I saw Jurassic Park for the first time. Overtime, Baby has lost my respect, but JP still has it. I love that movie without reservation. -
Poor Frank, never stood a chance.
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"Hey kid, why do you where sunglasses at night?"
"Because when you coo, the sun shine on you 24 hours a day." -
Worth watching to me. He makes everything better. Like Executive Decision.Node, the EPA news was just more sewage coming down today's pipe. I read it this morning on HuffPo.I guess we lost Cotton. As a 4-time Bush voter he represents everything that disgusts me about the U.S. today and yet he was a total gentleman so I enjoyed our discussion.Global warming. Well, whatever your views, it cannot be denied that we're choking out our cities with smog and tossing our garbage into Third World countries making their lives miserable. The earth will eventually shake us off like a flea, but I find it sad that we couldn't find a way to improve our quality of life rather than torpedo it.You finish watching Nathans yet?
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I wish there was a way to track it.
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Thats was a showdown. Though Chestnut jumped the gun a little early in over time which may have fucked Kobayashi up.
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You wrote a screenplay?
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I've written two screenplays, working on my third. First was an office comedy, second a competitive eating mockumentary, the third is a dark comedy. And I have 3 other ideas completely storyboarded so at the very least I'll have 6 screenplays under my belt by late next year. If I can't get a bite to the 12+ competitions I submit to, I'll contact an agent. If nothing happens in 2 years then I resort to my backup plan of opening a pub with my brother in Charlotte.
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Jul 11, 2008 2:50:46 PM CDT
Gentlemen, the goal is within reach - just 200 more
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
And we will hit 2000!
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But will you?
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There is a way to do it. Someone used to do it on the S3 Lost finale thread. Don't know how though.
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Nobody read though.
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I'd hate to think a good guy like yourself was put out of work in these tough times.
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I'll do it myself tomorrow if I have to. I can blather on forever about nonsense.
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HAHAHAHA! Hence the twice a week night time job! That cane be easily converted to a full time job.
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Thanks for that. Losing my day job may force me to go after something I may enjoy doing a lot more though. I'm actually moving back to Oklahoma end of Aug anyway and looking at maybe being a manager of a movie theater.
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I'll read a shampoo bottle while on the loo so I'm interested in anything.
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I could handle managing a movie theater. Not quite involved in Hollywood but at least associated with my greatest passion.Your family in Oklahoma?
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Fred not very good though
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My lady friend go me into it and i can't stop now. Though like the big ones, Idol/Talent/Dance/Kitchen like after one season of those the second season I wasn't that thrilled and the third season I just watched to see who the winner is. If it weren't for the damn try out rounds reality TV wouldn't be enjoyable at all. I'm watching Last Comic Standing right now, and I hate it the most, but its also my favorite. I hate it because out of all the reality talent shows its the only one where the performances get worse as the show goes on because they start telling the same jokes. But I like it because it has the best tryouts. I started watching the dog talent show, well because I like to think my dog has a lot of talent.
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My lady friend is there. We are engaged and all, we meet in college, its a whole long story. Whats kind of sad/ironic about my office catching fire. Today was employee appreciation day and we are having a barbecue but its storming pretty hard right now.
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I've started writing one screenplay, but I've go really no idea how to set it up. How did you do it? Did you take any classes, or do you have that screen writing program? Probably the only commentary I've ever listen to (minus the Snow Day commentary for some reason) was the commentary for Night at the Museum, because I wanted to hear Robert Ben Garant and Thomas Lennon explain themselves. THey pretty much go on to say that they make that crap in order to get more money for Reno, and that with this new screen writing program it pretty much does all the work for you.
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when I worked at a Regal theater back in the day. God that was horrible. They start you out at concessions, and there was this fat girl who kept putting her fingers on the chips when she was arranging the nachos in the tray. Only the tenured people get to work in the box office, which is a freaking joke. One day, the phone kept ringing and nobody was at the counter so I answered it. It was someone from the main office in Portland or something and they wanted to talk to the theater manager. I said sure, told the manager on the walkie talkie, and she said she would get it in a second. Next thing I know, that snot nosed 16 year old comes racing in and picks up the phone. I didn't hear the other side of the conversation but clearly the woman said something like "who the hell are you? I want to talk to the manager!", because he said "oh i'm sorry, we have a new employee who clearly has no idea what he is doing". That was the moment of clarity for me. After my shift was over, I left and never went back. My only regret is that I didn't leave that moment.That movie theater is now an Alamo Drafthouse so they got theirs in the end.
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I started off using Final Draft which does all the formatting for you, but last year some wizards came up with an online site called Zhura that not only handles all the formatting, but allows you to collaborate with other writers and read people's stuff. For me it's crucial because my best friend and writing partner just moved back to Canada so this way he and I can work on our current project and everything is saved in real time.I never took classes but I've read several books and read hundreds of screenplays (this is the best way to learn by reading other people's stuff).So sign up and get cracking! As Boobies McMellons says, you can't sell it if you don't write it.Zhura is also great because when you read others people's work, you realize how horrible most of it is and it inflates your ego.
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I could only stand to manage a theater. Anything beneath that would suck.Fred, put your stage stuff up on Zhura. Then we can judge whether you're good or not. Chances are you have more talent than people actually getting paid to write.
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What did they talk about anyway? I don't know if you are a Wes Anderson fan but I loved the commentary on Rushmore. There was a lot of Owen Wilson bashing earlier but he really did an amazing job writing that movie. It's no coincidence that Wes Anderson movies haven't been as good since The Royal Tenenbaums, which is the last one he helped write.
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Series7, that's some rich irony.I can't help but think of Arthur Carlson."As God as my witness I thought turkeys could fly."
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When Fred was just a wee Fred, Fred and Fred's mom drove to Washington D.C. Fred's mom did all the driving. On the way, we stopped in a little town in PA. Fred forget the name. It had a movie theater. One movie theater. One movie screen. One movie only. One show time only. One person only running ticket booth. One person only at concession. Both old ladies. It was like Fred was in a time warp. Fred wanted to see Terminator 2. Fred had to watch City Slickers instead. That only movie they had.
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The one I go to is called the Alamo Drafthouse Lake Creek in far north Austin. The main one is on 6th street, and the one that Harry has all his events at are in South Austin, probably about 30 miles from where I live. With the gas prices being what they are, that pretty much rules out any chance of me getting to see any cool stuff since that's where most of the big events take place. There's another one on Anderson Lane and then a few in Houston. Of course nobody who doesn't live in Austin would have any idea what i'm talking about so I'll just sum up and say yeah.. there have to be 5-6 alamo drafthouses.
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But Rushmore and Tennebaums are classic.
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Jul 11, 2008 3:28:27 PM CDT
What is Zhura? Fred afraid someone steal idea about
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Bubble boy who wants an epileptic porcupine as a pet.
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Fred, I miss the days of those old theaters. Remember when a movie would play on a screen for 5-6 months? Theater going experiences will never be as good as they were in the 80s. Long lines, crappy seats, terrible sound. Ahhhhhh, that was an experience.
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Go to zhura.com and create an account (it's free). You can post stuff both privately and publicly. It's a great site and has changed my life as I can write anywhere there's an internet connection.
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Fred bet it is easier to sneak into movies now than back then!
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I'll keep at it this evening. Nice talking to you Fred and Cotton. As for my fellow Changians, fight the good fight.
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Jul 11, 2008 3:37:28 PM CDT
Forgot to mention, epileptic porcupine and bubble boy is love st
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
A forbidden love gone horribly wrong.
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Have a good evening and thank you for tip. Fred post on saturday to keep TB alive
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There is a new Batman movie opening next week. How cool is that? I hope it's better than Batman Forever. That one just didn't seem as good as Batman Returns.
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Cotton think Fred is good writer. Write just like Cotton. What Fred do for living? Cotton wonder if Fred found job where Fred use writing skill.
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Jul 11, 2008 3:51:13 PM CDT
These Batman movies are in a completely different class
by cotton mcknight
than Batman/Returns/Forever/whatever the other one was called. I personally would say that the Christopher Nolan movies are better but I didn't like those Batman movies anyway. I fully realize though that there has to be someone on the other end of the spectrum that thinks those movies are superior. So I will just say they are different.
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Anyone see that Mystique figure shown in the ad at the top of the page? 1) she looks nothing like Rebecca Romijin and 2) She is wearing clothes! WHY?
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Who's Christopher Nolan?
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You are second person to compliment Fred by using Fred's sytle. Fred like that. Alas, Fred not write for living, although that might be a good thing because Fred like to eat, and Fred would surely starve if forced to live off of earnings from writing.
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It must not be getting a lot of hype. Fred heard about Kit Kitteridge movie though. Fred predict 200 million dollar opening weekend for that.
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http://ibelieveinharveydent.com/ ; http://thegothamtimes.com ; http://Gothamcablenews.com ; http://citizensforbatman.org ; http://gothamcityrail.com/ ; http://www.gcferries.com/ ; http://rossisdelicatessen.com/ ; http://pasqualesbistro.com/ ; http://maroniimports.com/ ; http://Gothamusd.net ; http://www.bettyshouseofpies.com/ ; http://gothamcitypizzeria.com/ ; http://maidenavenuereport.com/ ; http://www.gothampolice.com/ ; http://gpdiad.com/ ; http://acmesecuritysystems.com/ ; http://wearetheanswer.org/ ; http://gpdmcu.com/ ; http://saintswithunschurch.org/ ; http://josephcandoloro.com/ ; http://gothamcab.com/
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You may be right. That American Girl stuff is pretty popular. And Julia Roberts is producing. That'll fill them seats.
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Fred not know Julia Roberts produced, that might add another 25 million to box office. Fred predict that movie be second all time on money list when all said and done. Just behind Incredible Hulk, which will smash Titanic's record.
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No such thing as Bettys house of pies
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If anyone has access to a lot of forthcoming or rare movie screenplays, let me know. It will be worth your while to reply. Email me at psycofirek@gmail.com
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good luck with the screenplays. Sounds like there is potential there. I write too. Currently, my recent energies have been in developing board games with a partner. That's finally coming to some fruition, so might have time to get back to the novels. And I have a screenplay. It's been sitting around for a while. Sort of shelved it. Not even sure why.
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Jul 11, 2008 4:14:58 PM CDT
Fred have Citizen Kane breaking news alert
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Spolier alert - Rosebud was the name of his sled! Fred just saw that in a TB. Wow. This is big news.
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How abouyt all of us agree on some movie here we havent seen(or want to see again), and then give a few days to find it, watch it and come back here and have a discussion on it. Maybe it's a little too much like Quint's movie a day thing, but it makes me think we could keep this talkback alive with a purpose for alot longer that way. Ala the Lost talkback, which was constantly bringing new people with new theories. And imagine a silly Emmerich talkback getting that big?
Also, I genuinely enjoy the tastes and thoughts of everyone here, so I think doing something like this, if possible, would be fun.
Who's with me? Ill be back later and see if this just crashed and burned or not.. -
is more flippant. Apparently we have some people here who have taken a stab at writing. For pure fun and to be silly(but not too silly), we write our own version of what we would do with the title 2012, posting line by line. and see if we cant actually beat Emmerich with a better movie.
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written by a talkback.
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in either idea, lets start by posting potential movies to watch
and potential basic plots for the alternate 2012.
no real reason why we cant do both if anyone is interested. -
I like both proposals, actually. Someone has to come up with most of the ideas but I will certainly contribute.
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just to throw them out there. I think this could be cool, and alot of fun. In the spirit of the movies, schlock and just having fun with like minded individuals. Free of malice, if possible.
If anything this will actually generate my interest in Roland's silly movie. -
Honestly? I mean you sit there and say "wow"? During the Ocean 11 remake, there was this scene where you saw her feet and the camera slooowly panned up to her face. When it got to her face, I actually started laughing. It was then that I came up with the theory that no heterosexual man really thinks she is pretty, this is all driven by women. And I think women like her because she looks plain, and kind of ugly (just like them), but she dresses up nice.
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Every movie I have ever seen, everyone else here has seen as well. As far as I am concerned it could either be a new release (which might be difficult seeing as how not all movies are available everywhere), or it could be a rental. In either case, I am stuck for ideas.
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thats sort of the idea, we try and find one the most people havent seen..
and then try and find it, watch it, expand our horizons for better or worse. -
lets try and come up with a B-movie premise. If it's based off the title 2012,it could be related to the Mayan calendar end, or not.
It could be a serious idea. A semi-serious idea. Or a purely ludicrous idea.
For example, I recall years ago Harry stating that the emotional moment for him in Armageddon was when they told Bruce and his friends they were the earth's last hope, and Harry started postulating what would it be like if someone told him that the fate of the world depended on he and the AICN staff(or something similar). A farce about a geek website entrusted with saving the world would be funny. And that's barely an idea. And not even a serious one. Ill have to think on it before I suggest anything worthwhile. -
Will be better then Batman Forever is setting some MIGHTY high expectations. I know I'm the only person in the world, and my lady friend. But we both agree Batman Forever is the best. Its not a point I feel like I need to discuss because it'll just cause stupid remarks. I've said it before and I stand by it Batman Forever is my favorite, but I am willing to change my mind...we'll see. FUCK i just realized because of my stupid office getting burnt down I lost the number to the IMAX manager who I was suppose to talk to about why they weren't showing The Dark Knight! Snow Day commentary...changed my life.
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A genetics lab..... wait this is too similar to Jurassic Park. I've got to go to employee appreciation barbecue here in a few, maybe I'll be able to think of something.
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Jonah, I'll post the names of recent movies that I have but haven't seen yet: 1408, Into The Wild, Interview, The Darjeeling Limited, The Nines, Rocket Science, The Great Debaters, Diving Bell and the Butterfly, Grace Is Gone and The Savages.I'm up for making our our version of a 2012 script. I'll let the idea simmer over pizza and beer and throw out the opening tonight or tomorrow if you want.If you have a completed script, submit it. What have you go to lose? Script Savvy runs a monthly contest and there's still plenty of contests that have deadlines in the fall.You gotta make your own breaks.I wanted to shag the shit out of Julia Roberts when Pretty Woman came out. Now, not so much. If fact, not at all.
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One of the worst movies I've ever seen. Its up there with Da Vinci Code. The way I decide if a movie is bad is based on the talent behind it, and the fun factor. 14 and Da Vin had great talent and 0% (JUST CHECK ROTTEN TOMATOES!) fun factor.
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Darjeeling, was just god awful boring. The only scenes worth watching or the ones with my check out buddy Bill Murray (AKA Beginning and end). 9's eh watch the special feature Short Movie instead its a lot better. Also if you didn't know the 9's stars one of the hottest male actors today and Jenny McCarthy's cousin! If you have seen it, can you explain the bracelets?
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The Japanese did their version of a disaster flick in which the earth's plates around Japan were shifting dramatically and the whole island began sinking. So how's about we take the premise of that movie and The Day After Tomorrow and go hog wild with it. The earth's crust starts going berserk everywhere (maybe due to the core which has stopped spinning, another ripoff of b-movie schlock) and the continents start sinking into the ocean and all sorts of bad shit starts happening. You get earthquakes and super twisters and tidal waves and Europe crashing into Africa and supersized lightning storms and hail the size of Volkswagons and then when we're at our most vulnerable and all hope seems lost, Space Command informs us an alien fleet or a meteor is inbound to earth. If you're going to do a disaster movie, do that bitch up right!
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Somewhere in the midwest aka Bible Belt. Long opening shot of a farms and cows and corn/mud/meth (all are big in the midwest). Its a very overcast day, not all the way storm black, a pinkish purple color sky. Cut to a cattle farm. A little boi! in overalls and barefeet runs up to a screen door right as his father comes walking out (father = stereo typical farmer, or Randy Quaid Cameo!) . Boi! - Pa! Pa! Have ya heard them radio reports bout the Eart comin to in end? Randy Quaid - Ahhhhh boi, I done been through worse. How them crops lookin today? Boi! - Pa, I heard from the Jim Wilson that God has turned his back to us, is that true Pa? Randy Quaid - Boi! God ain't ever gonna leave us. Now lets get to doin our chores before that rain come in. Little montage of father and son getting things ready for a hard days work. End on father and son going down the troff feeding the cows. Boi! - Pa, them clouds be lookin mighty fierce? Randy Quaid - Awww man up Boi! you ain't seen (it cool news!!!!) yet. then BAM! all of the sudden a piece of ice the size of a four door smart car comes out of the sky and destoys a cow right in front of father and Boi!'s eyes. Followed by a slew of other cows getting flattened by giant hail. Boi! - Pa what do we do! Cut to first person view of a piece of mutant hail coming right down over Pa and Boi!'s head... SPLAT!.... 2012
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darjeeling ltd was good, really arts but it was typical wes craven. it was good. and it had awesome visuals. 1408, not too bad, not fantastic, didn't know how to end, da vinci code: give me a break. while i am a catholic (full disclosure) any one who has a vague understanding of Christianity can see the holes in it. If you like the movie go and read the fucking bible, not for conversion sake but due to the fact most western laws and constitutions are based on it. read it for the same reason that i read the koran. diving bell and butterfly: looking forward to reading it. my missus is a speech therapist and loves the book
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did you know that the only person to get a postumus (best actor) oscar was a bloke by the name of Peter Finch. (that is actually my name too). He was an aussie. With all the talk about heath ledger we may go two for two.
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if we include a President, can we still keep it as Danny Glover?
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I am putting Heath Bar in the same Category as James Dean. Both took the nontypical young heartthorb male roles. And both died doing something that was popular with the youth of the day (Dean - Cars, Heath - Drugs albeit prescription). Dean got two post human Oscar noms, I feel Heath probably getting a best supporting, I mean if a Spanish guy giving probably the worst performance of his career can get one then why not an Aussie?
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Are we just gonna call our characters by fictional names or the names of the actors we see playing them?That's a fine opening there, Series.
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since 1996 australians have gotten two best male lead oscars and four additional noms
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Because with a shooting script we'd go whack ass crazy with frenetic visual cues.
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Preferably one involved in scene where he's trying to outrun the cracking of the earth's crust or a ray of sunlight that kills instantly because there's a hole in the atmosphere so it's 100% unfiltered radioactive death."Condi! I'm getting too old for this shit!"
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what competitions do you enter. I've written a couple of scripts and my plan is to film one low budget and enter into comps as a movie, rather than a script but i am interested in what you were saying. actually this is one reason i am such a smith/tarantino fan, because in many ways movie like clerks, mallrat res dog are like plays - one room, mostly dialog
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"Condi! I'm getting too old for this shit!"I suggest a scene where the president or vice president (usually one or the other survives) gets on CB or ham radio at the end of the movie and apologizes to the world for America's arrogance and ignorant ways. It worked so well in The Day after Tomorrow, which I consider to be Roland Emmerich's masterpiece.
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The suits will not look at it unless there is some "norm" that follows the path of most enjoyment by regular folk. We geeks need own studio.
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They can be the best in movie history, but unless some headguy thinks it will turn a profit, then no way. I worked at newspaper and it was bought up by a corporate mass of bile. All of the sudden, all they cared about was ad revenue and not the content. I feel the same thing is happening to movie industry.
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But since we are trying to hit 2,000, I thought I should mention that I laughed out loud when I read your name, ChittyChittygangbang.
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Withoutabox.com will give you a list of all the annual competitions. For the past two years I've submitted to several including Big Break, ScriptShark, Visionfest and The Movie Deal.Interestingly enough, when I came home there was an e-mail from Script Savvy, the monthly contest and they sent me their analysis of my script. They use 6 criteria with which to grade: writing essentials, dialogue, characters, plot, originality and marketability. Each is scored out of 10. I got high to perfect marks on dialogue, characters and marketability and ended up with a score of 53 out of 60 which I guess is pretty good. They announce the contest winners at the end of the month so here's hoping.Like I told Jonah Echo, if you have a script, enter it and see what they say. If it needs some polish, they tell you in their detailed analysis so you can shine it up and try again.I'm going to keep trying at this until the wife demands I get a real job.
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Bring your a-game, fellas. And let's hope we don't get banned.
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Do these guys look at the scipts as quality or do they look to see if it will make money? I have a few ideas and may give it a shot. I do not care about scores, as I have dead end job that pays well. I have always been a writer at heart. Had to quit newspaper to afford decent living. Worst mistake I ever made.
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I have been lurking for a few years and debated a few days when the name hit me. I always mocked terrible movies by saying they made Chitty Chitty Bang Bang look like a documentary. Then I just put usual deviant twist to it. My favorite is still the username ChunkyBrewster. That made me spit coffee.
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Long opening shot of farms, cows and corn. It is a overcast day, the clouds a foreboding pinkish purple.Superimpose: Midwestern United StatesCut to a cattle farm. A little boy in ill fitting overalls and runs barefoot up to a screen door right as his father comes walking out.Boy: Pa! Pa! Have ya heard them radio reports 'bout the Eart comin' to 'n end?Father:Ahhhhh boi, I done been through worse. How them crops lookin' today?Boy: Pa, I'm serious. Dem funny sounds comin' outta Joey Hayseed's radio done says crazy things been reported hap'nin all around the world. And Jim Wilson was yellin' that that God has turned his back to us. Is that true Pa?Father: Now listen here boi. God ain't ever gonna leave us. Now lets get to doin' our chores before that rain come in.Brief montage of father and son getting things ready for a hard days work. End on father and son going down the trough feeding the cows.Boy: Pa, them clouds be lookin a might fierce.Father: Looky here, boy. How many times do I has to tells ya that we're in God's good graces. Jesus Christ didn't die on no cross so that some right frightnin' shit could happen to us!BAM! A cow is vaporized by a SmartCar sized chunk of ice. As the other cows begin stampeding off in a panic, they are pulverized by other gigantic balls of hail. Dumbfounded, the father and son stand in awe as cow entrails rain down upon them.Father: Well damn, there goes our milk subsidy.Boy: Pa, what do we do?!Cut to first person view of a chunk of enormous hail coming right down over their heads.Title sequence: The Day The Earth Stood FuckedDark cold depths of the ocean. A nuclear submarine is slowly cutting through the icy water.Superimpose: Somewhere in the South China SeaInside the submarine, the Chinese captain is walking through the bridge. The men around him are focused on their respective monitors and there is clearly tension in the air. A loud alarm begins pinging. The captain rushes over to one of the stations.Crewman #1: We're getting some very unusual readings, Captain. The trench below us appears to be venting something.Captain: Something? Can you be more specific?Crewman #1: Gas, Captain. It's venting gas.Crewman #2: Captain! The water temperature in the trench has gone up 40 degrees in the past minute! Our hull won't be able to take much more!Captain (muttering to himself): Routine expedition my ass.Crewman #1: Captain, the seismic activity is off the charts!Cut to view of trench. Vents of gas are exploding through the rock in a domino effect.Inside the submarine, multiple alarms are wildly blaring throughout the bridge. The crew is looking to their captain.Captain: Gentlemen, it's been an honor serving with-A gigantic plume of gas engulfs the submarine and crushes it like a grape.
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If anyone seriously wants to contribute, just pick up where the last entry left off and update the entry number. And someone should be in charge of pasting these entries into Word so that if this TB gets pulled, we have a record of our work.
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They look at the overall quality but one of the areas they focus on is marketability which might very well be the most important one. Plot and dialogue can be re-worked in later versions but so long as the overall concept is something a studio is interested in buying because they think it'll make money, I'd say that is the area you need to be concerned about first and foremost.
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followed shot of the camera zooming out and through the Submaries hull through the Ocean (maybe past a prestoric dinosaur like a Megalodon (Jan de Bont where are you!) all the way to like 50-100 feet above the ocean's surfice to see a mid size explosion of water. Fade to black. Full screen of a an official looking room with a bunch of Military men (overly dressed in SDB's) discussing the incident. Secretary of the Navy: We must tell the president. Secretary of the Army: Why can't your boys ever handle anything. It was probably some I-RACK-EE missile. What are you boys even good for these days? Secretary of the Navy: Without us there would be no American Military so such you gawd damn mouth and learn to respect the people that have to drive your lazy asses! Secretary of the Air force: Men, MEN! We've got serious issues to discuss here, so lets check are ego's at the door and save the world. Scene.
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Kid in elementery class located near the cresting ocean waves: Why do we have to learn about things deep in the ocean? It's not like any of us will ever go there...rumbling as chalk dances a powdery tumble in the tray below the chalkboard.
Teacher: Kids get under your desks and please stay calm!
Kid: Why have the waves stopped...
Standard cut to waves fizzling out to waters calm like a lake in winter.
Teacher: God be with us...
Big wave just like in extras for Abyss DVD. Only this time it doesn't look like it is going to stop. Teacher covers wide-eyed kid as screen goes blank to next scene. -
I picked up the Steve Alten Book and read it in one day. Wonderful literary cheese. I remember a line in the book about an empty coffee pot falling over and staining the carpet. Freaking awesome...
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I will give it a shot. I hate to write with marketability in mind, rather that what I want. But if it is good I guess it will market itself. No harm in giving it a shot.
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CNN blares across the screen of the television in the corner of a midwest college professer's office. A young news anchor is trying to remain calm while reading from a teleprompter that is displaying the grim news.
Reporter: Reports are coming in from the coast of China and the coast of California..massive undersea tremors have triggered destructive waves currently battering..
Scientist: And they said I was a fool.
Student Assistant: Professor you have a call, she is saying she is your wive.
Professor: Tell her she can have the house. Whispers to himself..It will be underwater in less than a day anyway.
He picks up the phone and starts dailing... -
That's good stuff. If you're looking to me to write it up proper, I'll do that tomorrow. It's almost time for me to hit the sack. PS I Love You wasn't as excruciating as I thought it would be but that Hilary Swank needs some facial work. That jaw could make a baby cry.
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I can see him now as he pushes his glasses closer to his face and winces as he realizes casual fans are banging out a script he spent big money on. Actually he must read the Apocolypto talkback with a dash of the Day after Tomorrow script on the back of his crapper to get this latest idea. But as long as people go see see these things guess what? He stays in business making big money and we tap on a keyboard while glancing at a late bill marked Final Notice
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Anyway, Definatly Maybe wasn't too bad either. My wife dragged me to that. I can't complain though. I dragged her to AVP:R. Man she is a trooper. She liked Iron Man so we are even...
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Cut to Oval office with all of the Secretary of the Suff sitting around some oval-like table, obviously waiting on someone. Secretary of the Air Force: So has all the testosterone in the room been released yet? Secretary of the Navy: Yes, its under control. Secretary of the Army: Yes, we've got a world to save, no point now worrying about penis size. Secretary of Homeland Security: What do you boys plan. Secretary of the Coast Guard (interrupting the Security of Homeland Security mid sentence): Why don't you keep it to yourself you Katrina idiot. Door opens and all Secretary's stand up as the President of the Entire United America (including Canada and South America) walks through the doors. President Glover: So what do we do now boys? Scene.
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Picks up the phone and nods and puts the phone down. Unlocks a drawer in his desk and pulls out a mint-condition civil war pistol. " I have learned that even the most bizarre situations are sometimes playing out right before your eyes..." Then realizes he really is too old for this shit.
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I want to space things out, but being the green horn I am...is it the symbols at end of sentence?
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Let's try this a different way.What if 2012 revolves around a crappy disaster movie director, like Emmy, having dreams of essentially very real disaster situations that he feels are prophetic, like some kind of psychic intervention, and he tries to get people to listen to him, but few do. Finally, he decides to grab the usual cache of bad ass actors, who will do anything these days, and a host of internet mavens to Direct the salvation of the world from some specific threat that is trying to destroy us.
Whose the nemesis here though? Aliens perhaps, who are think they are fumigating Earth of it's infestations so they can build an intergalactic WalMart there?
Let's do this one Buckaroo Bonzai style, and yes. Mr. Glover will not only be president, but he will make Mel Gibson his Secretary of Defense. Mel, who thinks he actually was a Mayan at one point, will bring up the ancient Mayan calendar.
Now we need a slew of characters, and preferrably character names.
Also, how bout for our first movie, has everyone seen Diary of the Dead? I havent. I was curious. -
You put at the end of the sentence where you want to start the break. No spaces, of course. BTW I'm still laughing at Chunky Brewster. And a talkbacker who said that Hilary Swank has a face that could ward off demons.
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thanks
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Didn't she make a movie where she did just that? Something about a plague?
Demon plague: So what is your power?
Swank: I can play a boy and a girl in the same movie!
Demon: And?
Swank: I took the torch from Raplh Macchio and rode that bitch to a pair of Oscars!
Demon Plague: Well played Swank, well played... -
just checking
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Warwick Davis is Treestump McDiggums as the Terra Engineer
The Bates as the cause of the tremors
Hillary Swank as Dawn South, who drives Yum!Yum!Eat'em Up! the mechanical crazed gopher. -
I'll sort it all out tomorrow and get the next installment done unless someone else wants the job.Jonah, I'm guessing you didn't expect this to turn into a disaster movie parody but I'm guessing with this sarcastic crowd, that's all we were ever capable off.Anyway, discuss it amongst yourselves, I'll check back in the morning when I'm refreshed.
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This is just a revamp of the cow scene. If you like the other one, we can go back. Ive got it all down in different files.
Let me know what you think.
2012: Armageddon Boogaloo
Long opening shot of farms, cows and corn. It is a overcast day, the clouds a foreboding pinkish purple.
Superimpose: Midwestern United States 3:p.m. April 5th, 2012 Miller Time.
Cut to a cattle farm. A little boy in ill fitting overalls is running through a field towards an old, slightly antiquated farm house.
We follow his POV as he darts around the back of the house and a few old hound-dogs start to chase him about.He is carrying something in his hands, but his back is to us, and our view obscured. As he heads towards a screened in porch we see a sign out front that says “Lubnuggit Farm”
Jeremy Lubnuggit:‘Papa!” Papa!”
The dogs bark more furiously, and from within the house we hear the sound of crashing and banging, as if Snophalophagus himself is bumbling towards the door. Then a hoarse, gravely yell calls out.
Homer Lubnuggit: “Jeremy. Shut your hole! Those damn dogs are gonna tear the door off it’s hinges if you keep squalling like that.”
Homer Lubnuggit comes to the door, looking ragged and disheveled(in this role a piece of driftwood with a face painted on it and a hat, but most likely Kris Kristofferson). We see his long stringy hair first, as he stands looking out first at the boy and the darkening clouds. This clearly registers as distress on his face. His tone softens with the boy.
Homer: “What is it? What do you got there?”
POV of Homer looking at Jeremy: the boy is holding what he has behind his back. Tears are almost welling up in his eyes.
Jeremy: “Dad, is the world coming to an end?”
Homer doesn’t seem to expect this.
Homer: What the hell you talking? World ends when the good Lord says it ends. Today, it ain’t that day. Least not before you finish feeding them cows. Now show me what you got.”
POV of back of Homer as Jeremy hands over reluctantly what he found.
Homer: “Sweet Lord in a birch bark canoe!”
We then see Homer and the boy as he slowly lifts up into our view a rather large, white object. It appears to be a frozen seaturtle. It’s large, but rolled into a ball and covered in a sheet of ice. As Homer looks on in horror,he can see the turtle in the ice is still breathing. In classic Kristofferson fashion, he lurches his shaggy mane forward, and begins to bark out words.
Homer L:“Where did you find this boy?”
Jeremy L. sobbing uncontrollably now. “TUURRRTTTLLE!!!
Homer raises his eyes towards the heavens.
Homer: “Lord, it’s time isn’t it?”
Without warning and seemingly in answer to Homer’s query, hundreds of icy objects being dropping from the sky with forceful collision.
BAM! A cow is vaporized by a SmartCar sized chunk of ice. As it lands we see this is a frozen Shark. Sticking out if it’s mouth is a crusty seaman.
As the other cows begin stampeding off in a panic, they are pulverized by other gigantic balls of hail containing sea creatures. Dumbfounded, the father and son stand in awe as cow entrails rain down upon them.
And then Homer sees it. Falling rapidly. Jeremy sees it.
All there is time for is one unified gasp of “Holy Shasta!!” as the frozen Blue Whale falls and lands end over end, tearing it’s way through the crops, the barn, and then the house as Home and Jeremy fall in the wake of dark brown dust.
The words 2012 grace the screen.
And then Remy Gosovac awakes in a terrible sweat in his Hollywood penthouse, falling out of his bed and knocking out a few sleeping starlets. He lands on his back looking up at the poster on the wall.
POV of Remy: There sits a poster for The Day Canada Attacked. A REMY GOSOVAC Picture.
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Can there be anything original to cause this? Aliens have been done many times. Natural causes too. Biblical stuff? Maybe something along the lines of heaven and hell reaching their limit of souls. Sort of a purging from both ends and earth is the overflow cup. Maybe earth is the halfway point. After all, every soul starts from earth, so why not let it be the place where they spill back into. I can joke around with the best of them, but if HOD or Echo wants to try and crank something serious out, I can do my best to lend a hand.
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Since this is all for fun, and it should include everyone, its going to be hard to make it serious. As best we can hope for is probably something humorous, that is still fun. Im going for something in the spirit of a fun B madness flick, that is sort of sending up Emmerich in a gentle sort of way. I don't want to bash him, just have some fun. We have complained Roland doesnt go far enough. So above I tried to take it as far as it would go, hence the froze sea animals falling from the sky.
But if this is the disaster movie to end all, shouldnt it have Remy getting help from a Michael Bay like figure? And I love your biblical stuff in the mix. What if that briefly suggested link on the X-Files, God vs. Aliens is the ultimate FX showdown here at the end? That would be suitably corny. I also really want an AICN group of internet gurus like Harry and co. have a hand in it. And the goal to be to make this as fun, thrilling, genuinely affecting as possible. We prob can't do it. But we can try. -
Ill combine the other suggestions tomorrow and offer up my take. Goodnight and thanks for all the awesome stuff!
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The wake of the blue whale churns a brown and dusty crest in the earth. A fire cry from the splash and spray of the ocean. The dust finally settles as Homer frantically checks Jeremy for broken bones...
Homer: Are you OK? Are you OK? Dammit boy! Are you in shock!
Jeremy's stare is not one of shock but disbelief.
Jeremy: Dad...
Homer follows Jerermy's finger to a long clump of ice. This one is about six feet at least he reckons. Maybe a shark to go along with the whale? Homer walks closer, his heart beating so hard his eardrums corresponde with every thump.
Jeremy: Daddy why is that one melting so fast?
Homer does not see a fin or teeth of a shark, rather a set of eyes staring back at him through a case of melting ice.
Homer: What the helll?
The eyes blink.
Homer: Jesus.... -
And HOD, that south china sea scene is well written. I've got it waiting to insert somewhere. Good stuff. Series, the falling ice is awesome. Chitty, keep going. I was actually excited to see you kept it going, with stuff thawing out.
This is seriously fun. -
What if God created both in his image? Sort of like a kid molding play dough. He sits back and allows us to cross paths. Just to see what will happen. Better yet, what if Alien and Man decide to join forces and revolt again him? Whose side would the Devil take? Damn, I should be keeping this shit to myself and start back on my novel.
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meanwhile back at the oval office:
presidents chief of staff: mr president we need an official stance on this. we're not just talking about nip submarines here....
chief of airforce: Chinese
chief of staff: those uppity bastards will do as they are told. anyway there is strange doings ahappening here. in the u s of a. in states that voted for you sir. and we need some sort of statement of policy. don't worry, i'll get some else to write it and we will display it phonetically on the teleprompter. it'll be vague and wistfull so you won't be able to cock up the q and a. all we need you to do is stare off into the upper middle distance at the end of every paragraph. that'll be on the teleprompter too.
president: good. now all we need is some sonofa bitch to pin this on. can we do al gore for it?
chief of staff: i suggest al qaeda.
president: maybe they are in cahoots, yeah, everyone knows those lefty sonofa bitch tree huggers are in with al qaeda.
chief of staff: but mr glover, you are a democrat
president: in that case we will blame the previous administration. we've only just started our second term so that can still wash. get my wife on the phone, i want to know what is for dinner. are you still here. i've delegated dammit!
chief of army: but sir, we still don't have plan.
president: i can't be all things to all people, we can take action after we have dealt with the political fall out. -
The ice shatters and Homer is knocked the the ground. Jeremy grasps his dad's shirt and buries his face.
Homer: Look, I don't want no trouble space man. The way I see it you came to my world.
Figure: Homer, why would would you talk to me like that?
Homer squints in the brightness of the now clearing sky.
Homer: Talk to you like what? Who are..Wait a goddamn minute, how do you know my name? What the hell is going on?
Figure: Watch your mouth boy!
Homer: Daddy? -
Homer squints his eyes hard. he wipes his brow. His mouth feels like it is full of cotton. Not even his worst hangover had him this perplexed and whipped down. Was this possible? His dad passed away 15 years ago.
Homer: Am I dreaming?
Figure: Depends.
Homer Depends on what?
Figure: Depends on who is awake.
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After Homer is having his little situation, then cut back to the oval office. Sort of like how an event affects an individual in a different way than an entire nation. A person is more likely to accept something on their own (Like Homer and Jeremy are doing) than a goverment worried about mass panic. It could show the different views that each has. Sort of this point of view and then that point of view.
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Homer: This can't be happening. I buried you myself.
Figure: Listen and listen close. You can question this all you want, I don't care. The card game we need to start dealing into is the one that has this here earth as the stomping grounds of a fight that ain't gonna get broken up. Least of all by the main teacher Himself.
Homer: What are you talking about? What the hell, say I'm dreaming or what-the-hell-ever, who is about to measure peckers with who?
Figure: Since you don't care whether you are dreaming or black-out drunk, then go in what's left of your barn and grab a shovel and I will start showing you.
Homer, who still is fuzzy on what is and isn't a dream, hauls up Jeremy and heads to the splintered remains of his barn. Once the flagship barn in the surrounding area, Homer's monolith is a patch of daggered wood. Laying among the splintered wood and frame is the handle of Homer's pickaxe and the blade of his shovel.
Figure: Keep going north to the end of the property.
Homer:Nothing there but where I buried you.
Figure: I'm not all you buried there...
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Can you imagine Emmerich letting humans vs. aliens fight over world-wide destruction? Sort of like splicing ID4 and Day After Tommorow with Ra being the referee? That's where I'm going with my little script I'm plugging away at...I can get this so far over the top it will blow your minds. Oh well, my 12-week old just woke up. I have to go give her the bottle and let my wife sleep. I may check in later tonight or in the morning. Maybe we can find out what Homer finds buried in the grave besides his daddy's bones.
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There is a link to the Outlander trailer, that movie looks all sorts of awesome! Check it out. http://outlander.solsector.net/
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We got like three stories going on here. We could come up with a numbering system to figure out what story you want to evolve on. In the subject line put Story # Scene # so it'll be easier to follow what film you want to make. So far you got what I started, what Jonah Echo did and what ChittyChittyGangBang did. 1,2,3. Does that all make sense?
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Opening shot of a crowd of people leaving a church milling around and doing typical after church stuff. Zooming in to a single dad and his daughter. Hark Williamson: So Christie, church wasn't as bad as you thought it would. Was it? Christie Williamson: I don't know, mom and Jimmy let me sleep in on Sunday. Which is always more preferable. Hark: Well someday you understand the importance of religion in your life. I mean where do you think I turn to after your mother packed up and left with you in the middle of the night? Religion has helped me make it through some rough times. Christie: Can I be spared your sob story about how mom unjustly left you. Its been 3 years and you two are now on speaking terms. Hark: Your right, your right I won't preach to you. Sometimes I forget that you grow up on your own without me. What do you want to do for lunch? (Phone rings) Hello? I...I..don't understand what you are trying to say? (Very excited talking come out of the phone) Ok, OK OK! Just calm down Harry I'll be there in a few, I need to have lunch with my daughter and drop her off with her mother. (pause and a look of frustration overcomes Harks face) You know my time with my daughter is important and I will not cut it short. Christie: (a look of sadness on her face because this is typical) Its ok dad you can just drop me off, I'm not even hungry anyway. Hark: (Covering the phone real quick) Its the time with you that matters most to me, I've already done it before and I won't let my work take me away from you again. (Back to phone) Look Harry I don't care how Earth shattering this is Harry, I'll be there after I've finished lunch. End of discussion. Cut do Hark dropping off Christie in front a good sized suburban looking house, as she gets out of the car he says goodbye and gets a half glance of acknowledgment from his daughter as she walks inside. Cut to inside a scientific looking office for an astrologer. Hark is the head scientific professor at MIT, and teachers philosophy in religion classes as well, who has a mysterious past. Hark: So Harry, whats the big fucking deal taking me away from my one day off? Harry: Well boss your the religious one here, what do you make of this. (Harry is a junior professor, the one all the students like because he's not all uptight) Harry points to a computer screen and we see an astrological star man showing some sort of design. Hark: Is that a joke Harry? Theres no way that can be real? Stars don't just realign themselves like that overnight? Harry: I don't know boss, but there is something going on. Hark: What are you trying to say? Harry: Maybe I should gone with you to Church this morning, because if this is really happening then I've just become a believer.
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check it out my friends: http://tinyurl.com/57b5j3
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And actually, so far, theres nothing anyone has posted that can't be realigned a little and just combined into one huge script. I like your astrology sequence. It fits in fine with everything thus far.
Im gonna start writing the Hollywood director stuff soon. I think what we will have when we are done is like ID4, it following a bunch of different people as this stuff goes down.
Okay, MOM, its your turn. Lets get your take. I want an MOM written scene in here somewhere. In fact, Im planning to write a Michael Bay type into the script. I was gonna keep him around, as a ridiculous sort of coked up friend for Remy, but if you want you can kill him in some spectacular fashion.
C'mon, you know you want to. -
Is this thing going to be serious or farcical or a combo of both to make it even more ridiculous?
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If you read my posted portion, I was trying to be silly, but to still make something kind of fun.
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Make it TOO farcial and it'll all devolve into "Meet The Spartans" or "Superhero Movie" or the rest of that crap....Keep it Emmerich-style faux serious and it'll all come out gold.
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We cant be beaten by that
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and Harry ripped the movie a new one
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I saw the movie with my wife this morning, and enjoyed it a bit. The 3-D was ok, but far more like the old school gimmicry, and not the quality style that Beowulf employed.
However, the movie itself was a nice light popcorn movie throwback. The visuals were elaborate matte paintings given some depth by the 3d, and the oddball science that even makes the story possible has always been fun to me.
And Fraser does his job, even if he is pitching to a younger set. Also, Josh Hutcherson continues to impress as a child actor.
Im seeing Hellboy 2 tonight, but this one was also a fun ride, worth a matinee ticket, but expect nothing more than a rollercoaster. Im not being apologetic, or giving the movie a free pass. It's clearly designed this way, and some of the scenes(like the subterranean ocean) really work in that capacity. Bottomline:3D less impressive(but prob still necessary for maximum experience) and actual movie more impressive than I expected. It's good. Not a steaming bowl of dick. -
was sillier.
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right, wasnt that Pat Boone?
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to find out if that was Pat Boone or not.
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And James Mason. That was prob one of his campier roles.
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Only similarities I saw in versions was the mushrooms and the final geyser trick, both from the old movie. Also the ocean.
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to represent Dimetrodons. It was crazy. But my memory is a positive one. How many here have seen it?
I NOMINATE that as a first group movie. I'd love to see this one again. Who is with me.
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The Harry JTCOE one was tied at a point. But here we are back on top.
Also, anyone ever noticed that they are SO many crappy versions of Journey to the Cneter of the Earth? -
or the new one. But I think there have been four, at least, in between and all have been terribly lame. The worst is from 89 I believe, and I think it was barely finished, borrowed stuff from other movies, and had giant, poor looking muppets. It wasnt even the correct story. Anyone see this?
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Jul 12, 2008 4:29:38 PM CDT
So, first suggestion:JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH(1960)
by jonah echo
as the first member of the AICN Schlock of the Week club?
Anyone out there?
Anyone?
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with Cushing and Mcclure I was always partial to. Still remember the chain of slaves and two giant, brontotherium-like humanoid beasts battling over one partially eaten slave, as the rest of the chain tried to escape.
And the paper mache Ramphorhyncus Cult. Good times. And Mcclure took them all to taks. With Cushing waving his umbrella mightily. -
might have been toughest guy in scifi to rock a turtle neck.
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has worn a muffler at various times. To fight interdimensional evil and look like my grandmother while doing it. Bravo Tom Baker Dr. Who. Bravo.
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with Eric Roberts as the Master?
What a piece! -
How did that get made?
John Hurt as Hrothgar?
Is Caviezel's star soldier going to be a Beowulf of sorts?
I didnt see Perlman in the trailers.
I hope he is the voice of the space dragon. Rock on.
Unless Perlman was in the trailer and I missed him.
We sit here pining for good schlock, and I think it has arrived.
When do we get to see this?
And that viking bringing two hammers to a guy's head.
BOOYA! -
I did what I could. Ill be back later with more script additions.
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I gave it my best shot. Hopefully when you come back, this will still be number 1. Im out to jog with my wife, go to dinner and then onto Hellboy 2, the second movie in a day!
Have a great one people. -
Shaved head and beard. Did anyone see U23D? That was amazing 3D, also this movie Coraline looks pretty cool. I'm gonna see Hellboy 2 tonight as well. I've been lazy as shit all day, too lazy to even post on AICN.
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I'll be heading out shortly for boxing and beer. I suspected this one might have trouble over the weekend as the regulars only seem to post during the week at work.I'll try to check back tonight. Enjoy the night out with the missus.
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sweet was the outlander trailer. rein of fire....with vikings!
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before the vikings started their raids on europe, (which is what defines them as vikings). is that a typical holloywood fuck up, or do the dragons drive them southward
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but i noticed this thread is falling behind
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I forgot how terrible this movie is. I want to watch The Edward Norton version just to get rid of the bad memories.
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I still think my ending is a good one. Somehow, some way, this disaster has to be the American's fault. Otherwise it's not an Emmerich style movie. Perhaps the mayan calendar predicts the creation of a country in 1776 that ruins everything.
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before the discussion falls to the bottom of the pack. One of the things that worked in our favor was the scattered talkbacks for Hellboy 2. People are discussing the movie in several different threads. The Dark Knight, however, will have it's own talkback i'm sure and it is literally going to blow everything else away. I could see that topping 1000 in a 24 hour period. This one will still be on the list, though.
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Jul 12, 2008 5:59:03 PM CDT
Ron Perlman's worst role.. through no fault of his own.
by cotton mcknight
Easily, it's got to be henchman from Star Trek Nemesis. That movie was absolutely HORRIBLE. What a perfect waste of a really good actor's talents.
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Jul 12, 2008 6:02:29 PM CDT
i saw some really cool batman "black and white" statues.
by cotton mcknight
Anyone see those? They are made in the style of whoever was drawing Batman at the time. My favorite being Bob Kane's. And why the hell do all the superman statues look like Brandon Routh? Ugh.I am just trying to keep us afloat, fellas. Right now we are one behind Journey to the Center of the whatever.
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His acting career has been going downhill lately. That Looney Tunes movie a few years ago seemed to mark the beginning of the slide, though honestly, I liked that movie.
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Okay we are back to number one again, but only by 2 posts. I have to leave now but I leave you all in good hands. Well i'm the only one here right now but I'm sure somebody will pick up the ball. By the way, what is your favorite movie of the year so far?
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Jul 12, 2008 7:05:12 PM CDT
Fred is a leetle bit drunk - but here is my screenplay conttribu
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Fred been drinkin some painkillers that Toadkillerdog wrote about, erm, ymuyyy. Fredmaynogtbe cohernet but Fred wanna contaribute. so Fred started this becore Fred got ficxkedbsgdded up But Fred finsheded afytetr Fred gistshfucxjwkwdued up so it might be sgsiberrsidsh anyway her goes.
Scene changes to a dark, night rain drenched Seattle suburb. A mysterious figure in black approaches two, sopping-wet post-grunge looking, twenty-somethings standing next to a closed Starbucks. Jonas, gangly, and tightly strung speaks first Jonas: it's about time you got here. We've been standing here for two hours! Mysterious Stranger. MP: I have arrived at our exact appointed time for concourse. Jonas: Yeah, well, we got here early, thinking you would get here early, and so we got here even earlier! And now were soaking wet! Nynaeve - a beautiful but confused and easily led young seattlite -Fred not sure that real word Fred fuckerds up noew. Nynaeve: It's ok Jonas, he's here now. I dont mind getting wet and you never complained about it before. MP: your organiszation did a good job of sytealinmg the prototype microbes that oil, now we can beneifut all of humaniuty by relasing these microbes in the oil rserves of the wordla nd ythus reducing the dependency on il and making the planet safe.onas: Yeah man, we in the ELF beleive in that shit so we diddnt apprecaied your help in getting us the plans of the building to get in, but now this new shit yiu talking about - swisterxzefrland? what the fuck is up with taht? What can the ELF's do in swizstezerland? MP: The latrge Hardon collider was due to come online in 2008, but thanks yto my efforst we delayed it unil now, 2012, it represnets the gretestst danger to all of mankind and must be detsyroeyed! I am too well known, but your organizaytion can infiltarte the collider and detsroy with these plans that i secretkly smmugled out! You must stop this threat to the entire world d-begfore it dysrotys us all. Nynaeve: I heard of that thing, Jonas I ve never been out of Wasjhnington, I could use a trip and we could reconnect and maybe patch thngs up v you know how i have flet trhe strain lately. Jonas: I thougt that wsa sjust your period. Nynaeve: Well that too, but we need a vaction and combining that with saving the aearth, i cant think of anhything that would make me hornier. Jonas: Sold! When do we leave? Mp: I]'ll habe the tickets and plans sent to you tomorrow. See you next wednesday! Jonas: Cool! By the way, we smuggled some ofd teh micorbes intoi the sttraeteif=gic resreves as well as the main Saudi ipoilfoied, we gonna fucks up the wprlkd dependence on oil, and make everyone switch to sugar cane! I just bougt a large sugar cane farm in the domnacan. Just because i am an environmentalist, that does not mean i dont want to get rich! Nynaeve: Oh, Jonas! Ok, Fred too fickjedg up to continue onna drinksomemore now. seec u ,mnday -
Fred s0 fuckehedg up!
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come back and psot! we need to sgtay onna top like zennia onna top from james bond! oh that was so sytopoid, but bes line in while movie
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Ftred do fred part now yu do urs
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feeling pretty damn gud
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but drnk one more painkiller forsurt
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fred happyeey byee
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Ron Pearlman was in that Looney Tunes movie as well. I'm gonna head out and watch Hellboy 2: Hell Boy Harder here in a few. Just got done dicking around in my yard, I need to hire someone else to fix that shit for me. I'll think of more for the movie later tonight.
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fuck. missed it.
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oh my!
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Has to be Wall-E. Sorry to say, but I haven't found a Pixar movie to hate yet. Tell you how good they are. My little nephew and niece came by Friday and couldn't watch Toy Story 1 or 2 as my grown up brother-in-law had borrowed them.
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Forgot to mention that the song in where the cowgirl gets left behind by the girl that outgrows toys. Wow, if that doesn't get to you...
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True story..I watched ID4 in the theater. Right after President Pullman says "Today is our Independence Day!" Some guy stood up and screamed "Hell Yeah!" and I laughed and laughed....
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"This could be out last night on earth."
"You don't want to die a virgin."
Well played young man. -
"David, haven't you been watching..."
"Daaavviiid!"
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"Lucas' farm is on the other side of town!"
"Are you sure?" -
"Welcome to erf!"
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"How do we know it's not a meteor?"
"Well sir, it's slowing down"
Wait...that's actually not bad. -
The story idea at the beginning of this talkback about gorillas going around punching people...genius. Maybe throw in some spider monkey pickpockets.
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Oh crap, I can see Emmerich planning the fate of the human race in 2012 and allowing chimps with telepathy to take over. It could be a moral lesson to us humans not to screw with mother nature...again.
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Assistant: "Let's try and film a character-driven story that has depth and heart. We have many scripts to choose from."
Emmerich stumbles crosses the room half-drunk and slaps the assistant with a tremendous backhand.
Emmerich:"Let me tell you something...and I want you listen very close. I didn't climb on top of the gold shitter by wasting my time with good characters or story content. No sir, you get some half-assed story about aliens, weather, or woolly-fucking mammoths. Add some special effects and BAM! 100 million guaranteed."
Assistant still wincing in pain:"Sorry sir." -
Just watched the Outlander trailer. Vikings! Dragon! Jesus! That is like a South Park episode except for live action. I'm there. It gives me a feeling of The Relic, 13th Warrior and Reign of Fire all mixed up. Will drink, then head to theater to watch.
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I mean, it would be a movie by just ladning Jesus there int he ship. Sort of a fish out of weater story. But I can see some guy in the production meeting still half-stoned and hungover..."Burrrp! Hey guys, throw a fucking dragon in there!"
Rest of committee:"Ahhhhh." -
Steel Magnolias
Sally Field's character: "I want to know why my Shelby is gone!"
Weezer: "Because of that huge fucking dragon. Bitch" -
Kathryn Hepburn:"Your my Knight in shining armor."
Henry Fonda:"Not right now!"
Hepburn:"Why not?"
Fonda:"Quit shaking your head and look slowly to your left. Out past the boat house. You see? It's one huge fucking dragon."
Hepburn:"Be my knight in shining armor!"
Fonda:"Later Bitch!" Fires up boat and hauls ass... -
Daniel-son defeats Mr. Lawrence for Valley title or so he thinks...Enter the Dragon. Crane technique doesn't work this time. Forget the body bag as Daniel-son is vaccumed up by dustbuster after the match.
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Miss Daisy: "Hoke, get out of the car and kill that dragon!"
Hoke:"Yes'm Miss Daisy!"
Ten seconds later...
Miss Daisy as she jumps the back seat and lands under the wheel, planting her right foot on the gas:"Dammit Hoke, you really are fired this time!" Snickers at her own pun as he heads to hash dealer then bingo hall. -
Wait, they had dragons in that?
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Still the best...no cgi either. Is this 2000 yet? Going to smoke and get another Red Stripe. Will see...
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yeah. that'll be sweet
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ian bell 199. brings a tear to the eye
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but will see what we can do.
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Post 2006:
Saw Hellboy tonight with the wife.
Before I get to the movie, let's talk some previews.. -
I saw this previewed even before the lights went down and the theatrical trailers played..Casper Van Diem is back. Bet that cost them a pretty penny. I was underwhelmed by the first movie, but the goofus and likely stupid third movie had a trailer that at least had me giggling, recalling the first movie. My wife was holding firmly to the grounds the first was terrible, and this would be worst, but while I don't know I'll see this one, ST3: Marauder, it made me consider re-watching the first one.
It got a definite snicker from the audience, and it's DTV release date is August 11th I think. They even advertised the whole "trilogy" on Bluray. Oh my! -
Saw the trailer. See Harry has commented on the movie on the main page. Not sure what to expect here. How old is Shia supposed to be playing in this?
Also, the thriller aspect of this seems to develop into a more labyrinthine,X-Files worthy plot. Seeing as how I like D.J. Caruso, and this movie gets released in the wasteland that is September, Im up for giving it a try. -
wait, even then, still pass. the first one was good.
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My wife and I were mocking this originally, and as the trailer went on, we conceded it was at least a rental. If I didnt already know Paul "Insta-disappointment" W. Anderson had made it, I might even be willing to give it a theatrical whirl. Doubtful though. Still, looks like there might be some life in it.
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Minus the fact that it was nothing like the book. But I didn't mind that because it wasn't a some half ass attempt at the book, it was more like a sequel. Never saw Starship 2, looking forward to DTV 3. As for Hellboy 2, I really liked it. Every movie I've seen this summer I've enjoyed, but some I've liked beyond summer blockbluster fun. I'm putting Hellboy in the later, I don't know what Fred was saying that it had no heart.
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but they had to made straight after the first. I was working on an idea for a sequel for awhile - as a fan fiction sort of thing. there was lot from the book that was glossed over that was good stuff - the movie had none of the philosophy, which was top notch.
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nooooooooooo
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and deservedly so...
2012!! 2012!!! What happens will the talkback implode?
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isn't that like drining from a hot bowl of steaming dick
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I just really loved that movie. My wife and I had a great time. Seriously, it is my favorite comic book movie-at least for a week. Seriously though, it felt like a comic and it made me realize how many movies just coast.
This movie was chock full from beginning to end. It had more energy than the first, a bit more heart, and more imagination.
It also makes the first a better movie.
I loved the villain, who was handled wonderfully.
The Manilow scene was perfection. The aftermath of the Elemental touching and wondrous.
Even Krauss was exceptional. And there was wonder in almost every scene until that final silly freeze frame.
And best qouote
"Im not a baby, Im a tumor." -
with Hurt and the marionettes. Has it not been a great summer for movies. Like I said earlier, even Journey to the Center of the Earth was pretty decent for what it was.
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And Tropic Thunder should be pretty funny.
Jury is still out on Clone Wars for me. -
Jul 12, 2008 11:50:20 PM CDT
so, can we put this talkback back on top, and keep it there?
by jonah echo
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Perlman was awesome as always...
No Agent Meyers was a good thing.
Red's answer to Liz's news was interesting, in terms of stuff in the first movie.
The giant troll's name was Mr. Wink. For some reason that quite amused me.
Tooth fairies were a nice touch. -
actually looks like it has a good story. the form is shit. i see what they are trying to do but they are behind the game in the computer animation. a long way.
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Im curious. I saw a 9 p.m. showing and it was one of two simultaneous showings, and the theater was mostly full.
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As far as b-movies go, I also think Midnight Meat Train has an August release date. I read the short story, but have no idea if this will be even halfway worth watching.
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Im going to bed soon. Im hoping to get back eventually to the script. Fred's contribution is good, but alot of it was partly indiscernable, perhaps due to alcohol. Im sure he can clear it up for me later.
Chipps..did you add to the screenplay yet? -
I asked the kid at the ticket counter if anyone was actually buying tickets for Meet Dave. She rolled her eyes, and said, not so much. I really hope that's the case.
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It isnt anywhere near the kind of movie Harry is claiming. I support the big guy, but his reviews and tastes are often inexplicable.
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Hello, folks. It's 1:36 in the AM where I live, how about you? Anyway, the Dragon in every movie was funny. As for Pixar, it just so happened I watched some thing on Starz about them tonight.. it was actually pretty good. I didn't know Michael Eisner was pretty much responsible for all the crap that was going on- abandoning animation, the feud with Pixar, etc. And maybe I would like Ratatouille but I just cant get past the plot- a rat cooking food. Yuck. That was funny about the dude who yelled HELL YEAH at the "Today is our independence day" speech. As for Harry, he isn't a journalist. I don't think he thinks he is, and I don't mean it as an insult. He is a fan of movies, and he has a lot of friends in the business. I am not saying it's impossible to review a friend's movie objectively, but it's kind of hard to do, you know? I was watching Guillermo Del Toro on some show last week and he was saying that the only opinions he trusts are fellow directors that are able to say "that's crap" when they see it. Apparently they had a lot of influence on him as he was making Hellboy 2. Anyway, I bring this up because it is absolutely possible for a friend to give an objective review, without offending the director. I think Harry does, but then again I am not sure because I don't recall a movie made by one of his pals that he hated. I could be totally wrong about that and please correct me if I am.
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That's crazy. I couldn't even sit through date movie without walking out. The idea that one of those movies is actually longer on dvd blows my mind.
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Jul 13, 2008 1:48:37 AM CDT
But then again, Harry's friends tend not to make crap.
by cotton mcknight
So his positive reviews are understandable. It would be cool if he could have some input on movies as they are being developed, though. He probably does.
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Made by the same people who did Meet the Spartans/Date Movie/Disaster Movie/Movie Movie. I've actually had this idea about making a spoof movie but it's a drama more then a comedy. I need to make more free time for writing my shit. And reading scripts, instead of comics! Fucking this site got me back into comics again. Oh yeah, if you read Wanted, wait for the movie on rental.
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Did you see the Journey in 3-Drizzle? Or normal? Follow up question: If you saw it in 3-D, did you see U23D? If so how was the 3-D different?
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If you saw Hellboy 2: Die Harder, and you saw a preview for Quarantine, and other then being severely depressed because it wasn't based on that sweet game from the 90's where you were a taxi driver in a quarantined city, you would like to see the original movie that it's probably a note for note re-make of, its call [REC] and you can watch is on google video for free with subtitles and all. HOLLA! http://tinyurl.com/5ru3qn
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I came up with a new scene and my computer pooped on me and fucked up! Let me see if I can remember it. Fuck, this has happen to me more times then I care to remember. I'm gonna start writing this in word.
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Ok since we are aiming for the most ridiculous of riculousness, I’m going to add another scene similar to the intro.
Cut to some where on the Atlantic Ocean where a father and son are sailing around on dads rich sail boat. Father: Ok Billy, we are going to do a starboard tact, do you remember what that entails? Billy: I think so father. First we are going to bring in the main sail and heave around the jib sheet and slacken the boom?
Father: Its going to be a lot easier then that. All we need to do is loosen the boom so it swings around to the port side. Here take this line here and hold it loose but do not let it run, now pull on this line and watch your head as the boom swings across the boat. All of the sudden there is a loud splash about 100 yards aft of the boat which causes a wave big enough to rock the boat. Billy: Papa, what was that?
Father: It was probably nothing Billy. (He is obviously worried about something) Lets just go ahead and call it a day and head to port. Go ahead and bring the rudder amidships and then keep it aimed at 80 degrees.
The boy does this and there is a scan shot of the boat turning and zooming out we see big chunks of ice starting to appear on the surface of the sea, as more ice chunks start rising there are loud banging noises as the ice hits the hull of the ship. Billy: Papa, what is that noise? Where is that ice coming from?
Father: Its nothing son, just keep aiming for what I told you. (As he is saying this he is picking up the satellite phone and frantically trying to dial something) Let me just call the Coast Guard to get them out here, they aren’t doing anything right now anyway.
Billy: (Standing up and letting go of the boom line) FATHER WHAT IS THAT! (Billy is pointing at a giant shark like fin about 200 feet in front of the bow of the ship) Father: (Not looking at what Billy is pointing at) Billy, never let go of the boom line you could…. (all of the sudden a giant Megalodon like shark comes out of the water making the boat raise with all the water, and in one swoop the shark comes down on the boat and swallows it whole as it dives back under) Cut to a darkened conference room where the star maps Hark was looking at earlier are being projected on to a screen. Professor Montgomery (Dean of Sciences): Now Hark is this another one of your wild schemes to get more funding, your wasting your time. I’d rather you just tell us you need more money for your research rather then wasting our time with these stupid presentations. Hark: No the is not a scheme, this is really going to happen and we need to do something to let the world know, stars just don’t do this. These pictures have not been doctored in anyway. Professor Jones (Dean of Academics): Hark, you've put us through more of hair brained ideas then I care to remember. Now your students grades have dropped in the past year, and worse yet the amount of students contributing and joining the alumni society has dropped more then 50 % since you became head of your department three years ago. I think that’s more important then some silly stars. Hark: We have had reports of giant sized hail coming down in the Midwest. Professor Montgomery: I’m from the Midwest Hark, and the weather there has all the consistence of water so golf ball sized hail doesn’t mean a thing besides the fact that its Wednesday. Hark: (Holding up a photo of a ice chunk the size of the barn its next to) What kind of golf do you play in the Midwest then?
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We are being beaten by script girl..... I've only seen one of her things. What the hell is she? She just talks about some random scripts that have been bough by companies? Who cares, I'd rather not know what properties are already bought, because most of them never come to fruition.
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that i don't really know where you are going with the stars - or the dad in the ice thing - i have a vague idea, but what we could do - give us a bit more of an outline - but what we could do is for each of us to stick to a group of characters that we slowly move toward each other, i'll hook in on the oval office. just a thought.
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Tommy Mullaney (chief of staff, in office): look this is absurd, we need, a sound bite. Do you understand that? People will understand if we latter say – ‘o.k now we know more about this we are changing our story’. But they need to know someone is in control and on the case. As in now. This is the fucking executive branch. We’re it.
Carl Mcmanus: yeah, I get what you are saying but we actually don’t have anything.
Tommy Mullaney: McManus, we are not going to get Giulianied on this one. We need the president front and centre. Leadership. If we play this right we will move into the mid terms unopposed. We jump on it hard and with both feet and we just keep rolling on. What governors are we yet to get onto?
Carl McManus: Look, at this stage we don’t even know what states have been effected. We have been in contact with Jackson, Stevens, Jones and Harvey, which seems to be the worst hit states, as in Nebraska, Iowa, Kansas, and Missouri.
Mullaney: and they have all declared states of emergeny?
McManus: Yeah, Stevens was a battle but we got there.
Mullaney: and Frank Siena. I want you on that guy like a fat kid on a cupcake. He is the one person that can fuck this up. And we are not going to let it get fucked. I want someone trusted to stick to him. These governors, they’ve never dealt with anything this size and we are going to help them. Track all four of them down and get them on a line. I’ll be with the president and we are going to make sure that they know there won’t be any of this tribal bullshit. I don’t care that they all stumped for the other guy. We need them to know that they have our support to do what they need to do. I don’t want any of them breaking down and going bat shit on us.
McManus: Yeah look we already sending brian roxy over to the Fema offices, and he’ll stay by siena. We vetted him pretty well before we gave him the job anyway. He is a man of action
Mullaney: That’s what we want, action. Let the principals know that they don’t need to fear prosecution for piss weak stuff, if comes to it they’ll get a pardon. I’ll never forget Katrina, there was a fucking yard with like a hundred busses underwater that never should have been there. They should have been trucking those poor bastards outa there but everyone was too make to commandeer the buses. Let the principals know that reasonable stuff like will get a pardon. If it saves lives there will be no political bullshit.
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sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite.
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Yup like the above poster-it had a ton of imagination and great pacing and action. All the nitpickers are fixating on less than one percent of the movie. It moved so fast and smoothly that you didn't have time to step out of the experience and analyze it as a script. For the love of God, do I have to go to the "experts" at Rotten Tomatoes to get an objective review? :-) Go Elric of Melinbone!!! Humans are nasty pestilences.
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Hobo think Fred WAY OFF in his review. Hobo think Fred should see film again and rethink disappointment in it.
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Jul 13, 2008 3:18:11 PM CDT
Fred stand by Fred's review. Fred liked first movie better
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Fred never said movie was bad, just that Fred was disappointed. Fred liked first movie better. But movies are subjective and Fred understand differing opinions.
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is your fridge running?
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so i can nuke the fridge
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Just turned to TNT. Airplanes 1, Kong 0. Slipping, slipping...See ya! Next stop ground floor. Actually the New York building scene is somewhat impressive...
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Do you think they just drug him off and dumped him in the East River? Although it was tough time then, maybe slice and dice and serve him at the soup kitchens? Probably earliest version of McRib.
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to make an enormous vest
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Otherwise known as Armegeddon with a better cast, director, execution, etc..yet it still made half the money.
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Batman cartoons they've been pimping on the tele. So far they are pretty cool. A lot better then the Animatrix. It would've been cool if they played a new one before the movie. Also speaking of the movie, I may end up getting to see it in the IMAX! But god damn if trailer land can't hold there load. They've been giving away MORE AND MORE of the movie. Batman Begins Again is going to be huge.
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I'm sure somebody had Kong skinned and covered their ENTIRE living room floor. Also liked the crowd control at the base of the Empire State building.
"Okay, get back, c'mon, move away..."
Crowd rushes in anyway... -
There isn't an Imax anywhere to be found around here. I would have to go to next state or further...Damn rural Mississippi.
Hope the Batman cartoons are good, looking forward to checking that out. For some reason i liked the Spiderman cartoon they had on MTV. -
I have ceased all contact with anything Dark Knight. Just have to head in unspoiled. Still 100% at Rotten Tomatoes? Although I'm sure some critic will bash it just to be the first one. Will checkout Hellboy II Tuesday night.
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made from real gorilla chest!
i don't know which cartoon you are watching and i've only seen the previews for dark knight but i remember this batman cartoon series from about 10 years ago and i keep thinking that the new movie looks like it so much. the lines were very straight and the angles very sharp, chins were squares ect and it was fairly noirish. especially the bit where the joker walks up the street, standing at the top and then firing the machine gun, it reminds me of the cartoon -
Dark Knight at least $100 million opening weekend. No way it won't. What movie will even knock it off the No. 1 perch? Mummy 3? Momma Mia?
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They have been showing previews on TV about a new Batman animated series. Maybe a seven-ep series? I want to check it out. Cartoon I'm talking about is Spiderman on MTV a few years ago. He went up against The Lizard, Kraven, some female ninja in think. It wasn't too bad.
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is there a part for me in momma mia?
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Can you imagine if the finale took place on Maury Povich and he whipped out the envelope and decided? Can't believe Pierce Bronsan is in that. James Bond dancing to ABBA?
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Pierce as he smirking into a full-length mirror: "The Aston is in the shop again...c'mon i need something!"
Agent: "Look, I told you to milk that Bond gig for all it was worth! What did you think was going to happen? Thomas Crown Affair part two?"
Pierce: "Goddammit, I thought Bond was a stepping stone! I had a License to KILL!"
Agent:"Didn;t Denise Richards playing a scientist tell you anything about what they were thinking?"
Pierce pauses...
Agent:"Hello?"
Pierce:"Whatever, just book something..." -
and it's kinda funny to see him trying to make the best of it. yeah look at me, i'm happy. I'm just starting my late career revival. yeah. that's what this is. are we still on for the remmington steel movie: blue steel?
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It show's the three guys that could be her dad. He is giving the same he gave Miss Moneypenny right before he acted like he was going to give her a good Rogering. He has 'I was Bond' ego inflation. It took Roger Moore years to get over it. Timothy Dalton still has hit.
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Sorry, typing too fast. Also have just opened Oatmeal Porter from Highland Brewing Company from Asheville, NC. Not bad...
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Wonder whatever happened to her? I wonder if Bronsan still talks to her? I heard they didn't get along while filimg Remington Steele. Pity, as I wanted the Renington Steele movie to be NC-17.
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Maybe I just have weird hours...
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there actually is a Thomas crown part two in the works.
I suggest a double feature with great escape part two: they sent him back... -
Or should I stop with my latest installment of the Tb'ers version of 2012? Also I don't know a single person that does not want to see Batman Begins 2: Batman Harder. Even people who don't like movies want to see it.
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Where do they go from the first one? Damn, you have to be kidding me! Wait let me guess..He feels tied down by having to juggle stealing life with life at home with Russo. Conflict erupts..Great Escape part two should be directed by Micheal Bay. Flames on McQueen's motorcycle.
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I can post all day at work. There should be nothing going on until Dark Knight propaganda hits. Although it will be hard to catapult this back to the top.
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I have a buddy that hasn't seen a movie in the theater since Forrest Gump. AND HE IS GOING TO SEE IT! Hype is as hype does...
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Is Morgan Freeman the best movie president ever? Although Bill Pullman did give a helluva speech in Independence Day? You know things weren't an issue when he stuck to his guns...
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the guy who wrote it wrote a sequel to that too.
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puke!
the rest of the movie was good I'm baaaaaack! -
I wish they had let Randy Quaid fly the Bi-Plane into the alien space ship.
Quaid:"Merry Christmas the Shitter's full!" Blam! -
He and the kid were in News Orleans mopping the floors of peep shows or something..Bleeeech!
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I think it's mr potato head flying a bi-plane
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"Pilot to bombadier! Pilot to bombadier! We have a large spaceship dead ahead!
Cue footage of anal prove testing...
"Hello boys! I'm back!!!" -
The big thing the The Crown Affair 2 has going for it, is the much anticipated return to Hollywood of famed director Paul Robocop Verhoeven. Instead of going the Renny Harlin route and dragging his name through the mud after Hallowman he went back to his homeland and made a damn good WW2: War Harder, movie. Now that his decided that he actually has more friend then just Johnathan Landis in Hollywood, he's back. And we've missed him. What about the Ace Ventura 3: Son of Ac Ventura movie? I posted a link to the first pic a while back, no one gave a shit then. No one will probably give a shit now, nor will they give a shit when the movie comes out. I don't know what part of Dumb and Dumberer or Son of Mask Hollywood missed that made them think that a Ace Ventura Kid will work? Does that mean they are going to Andy Kaufman the Early years next?
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I actually liked the sequel better than the original. The Monopoly guy sequence had me crying...I had heard something about son of Ace, but i thought it was just a preproduction rumor.
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they sent him back.....
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Thomas Crown breaks into TMZ and steals pics of Lindsay Lohan with a strap on giving it to Paris Hilton, while Michael Bay snorts coke off of The Bates ass in the background. Cinematic gold!!!!
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I read somewhere that he didn't like to say alot of lines. He liked to let his facial expressions do the work. Nice...
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that one is real
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Love this part of Deep Impact...I just wish Samwise could have been in the sidecar..Peter Jackson would approve, Chick is about to give up here seat for ER actress and little girl. Sje will go to beach and say "Daddyy!"
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in iron man stan lee plays hugh hefner. Who dies in the increadible hulk. so in the marvel world hugh hefner is dead
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I saw the first..best thing going for it was Peter Jackson said he liked it. Audiences did not agree...
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has already been made
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You know all three of the Girls Next Door have implants that activate when Hugh dies. God help those kids. Marvel Universe also had mutated poodles on film. So take that with a grain of salt.
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Are you kidding me?
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I have 12-week-old baby now. Damn this hits me different now, than when I saw in theater. Father and daughter are spilling secrets...sweeeeet.
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somehow rider strong is back in despite the fact that he died in the first one.
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I always get him confused with the actor Jonathan Brandis in SeaQuest DSV. I still can't believe Brandis hung himself.
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That sounds like a porn name. Ride Her Strong! Yesss.
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Haley Joel Osmend? Isn't he in rehab for drugs and shit? You think he'll end it soon?
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Charlotte's Web 2:The Revenge
"She's Back, and This Time She's Pissed!"
I swear to God, i think i actually made this up!
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We might not be able to get back on top but we can surely rise out of fourth place.Keep things coming, Series. You're doing a bang up job.I watched the Spiderwick Chronicles over the weekend. It wasn't too bad and I was surprised/happy to see Nick Nolte as he doesn't get nearly enough work.
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I was going to let you off, on the basis that it is a gorgeous summer's day and should not be ruined by the likes of you. I love the elevated opinion of your own intelligence that you have, it's breathtaking in its hubris, hypocrisy and inaccuracy. I'll just start from the top with your monumentally cretinous post and work through inaccuracy after inaccuracy: 1)"In your recent posts you have writen stuff that, had been anybody else, likeme, you would had called said person the worst git that ever lived and you would post phone-book lenght posts on your hatred again them." Which posts? examples are necessary, because in my preceding posts I talked about Cricket, the hot Gap Year student, Rob Roy, Mel, and others. In several of them I admitted that I was in the minority and regarding Rob Roy actually added the caveat that I could well be wrong as it is a long time since I've seen it. If you're going to make accusations that hit the mark, you cannot offer up some vague generalisation. Examples are essential. 2)"You absolutly lack any sense of irony." Hysterical- "You're looking very black today Mr. Kettle" said Mr. Pot. 3)"And you are incredibly stupid. Stupid, thick, prejudiced, clueless and ignorant." Again, examples. I can throw big words at you if needed to prove vocabulary, and I can argue on a position. Unlike you, I do not ignore the obvious when trying to support some utterly fallacious position, and I form hypothesis from the evidence. You on the other hand pluck theories out of your arse and then try to bend facts to fit them. You fail in any argument about intelligence, and are in fact The Lawnmower Man. 4)"You are a stain, and you are only making yourself look the worst everytime you post. And you have absolutly nothing of yout own to say, other then stupid vituperation." Brilliant. See above- Cricket, movies, music, all of which are my own opinions and none of which contain a single line of vituperation. 5)"You are a nulity." This does not make sense. 6)" You were offered lots of chances to make peace with me, and always you turned them down like a spoiled unedicated brat because of your infantille mentality and stupidity. screama dn bitch all you want your stupid smart-arse quips don't prevent you form being what you truly are: a very stupid person." What on earth makes you think I would want to be your friend? And are you so pathetically needy that you are seeking out mates on Talkback? Finally, justify why you think I am stupid. Reasons are essential- as at the moment that looks like your default insult- and the fact that you cannot offer variety makes me think that despite your pretension you are, frankly, borderline retarded. 7)"You can't deal with it, your problem, not anybody elses. Now why don't you fuck off? Leave them alone people who actually want to talk about movies, like me." Fucking priceless. I'd give you this one if it weren't for the fact that you do not want to talk about the myriad topics in this thread. All you really want is vindication for your pathetic sense of self. So how's about you drop the smug, patronising attitude and pathetic displays of psuedo-intellect? Finally, Regarding Rob Roy- I did say it was a long time since I saw it, and I did say I could be wrong. I did not however, say it was worthless. I thought Tim Roth was outstanding, but overall the movie was dull. Unlike you, I do not deal in absolutes, and will concede when I am both wrong and in a minority. So riddle me this, fuckspoon: Why are you such a cunt?
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Seeing as it cut off the whole post. 4)"Yeah, you know stuff about B-movies. Big fucking deal." Well, dipshit, in this Talkback it is a big fucking deal. And the fact that you cannot understand what we were talking about, simply shows how inappropriate your presence here is. You are a case of pubic lice in a Crèche. 5)"You are a stain, and you are only making yourself look the worst everytime you post. And you have absolutly nothing of yout own to say, other then stupid vituperation." Brilliant. See above- Cricket, movies, music, all of which are my own opinions and none of which contain a single line of vituperation. 5)"You are a nulity." This does not make sense. 6)" You were offered lots of chances to make peace with me, and always you turned them down like a spoiled unedicated brat because of your infantille mentality and stupidity. screama dn bitch all you want your stupid smart-arse quips don't prevent you form being what you truly are: a very stupid person." What on earth makes you think I would want to be your friend? And are you so pathetically needy that you are seeking out mates on Talkback? Finally, justify why you think I am stupid. Reasons are essential- as at the moment that looks like your default insult- and the fact that you cannot offer variety makes me think that despite your pretension you are, frankly, borderline retarded.
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7)"You can't deal with it, your problem, not anybody elses. Now why don't you fuck off? Leave them alone people who actually want to talk about movies, like me." Fucking priceless. I'd give you this one if it weren't for the fact that you do not want to talk about the myriad topics in this thread. All you really want is vindication for your pathetic sense of self. So how's about you drop the smug, patronising attitude and pathetic displays of psuedo-intellect? Regarding Rob Roy- I did say it was a long time since I saw it, and I did say I could be wrong. I did not however, say it was worthless. I thought Tim Roth was outstanding, but overall the movie was dull. Unlike you, I do not deal in absolutes, and will concede when I am both wrong and in a minority. So riddle me this, fuckspoon: Why are you such a cunt?
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Why does the TB keep cutting out? Is this new?
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Please ignore this diatribe:
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8)"If you want to boast youtr stupid frguille useless ego, try to come up with your own stuff, insterad of trying to be known because you are a dumb stalker, hem? Too hard to achieve, idiot?” Now, what we have here is a case of massive ego-implosion. You have been pushed, and pushed and have responded with a simpletons post. You are the poster boy for fragile ego, recycled criticism and bullshit justifications. But I digress…. Finally, Regarding Rob Roy- I did say it was a long time since I saw it, and I did say I could be wrong. I did not however, say it was worthless. I thought Tim Roth was outstanding, but overall the movie was dull. Unlike you, I do not deal in absolutes, and will concede when I am both wrong and in a minority. So riddle me this, fuckspoon: Why are you such a cunt?
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and other essential subjects. I watched V for Vendetta for the first time at the weekend, and I was honestly very, very fucking impressed. My only complaint (and it's a biggie) was Natalie Portman's utter failure to act. Again.
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Last time I saw him was afew weeks ago on TV. He was helping to host a celebrity golf tournament. Looked like he packed on a few pounds. Not a great golfer either. Portman biggest cinematic commitment to a part was when she shaved her head for that movie. She did rock in that Saturday Night Live skit about doing drugs and being voilent. Funny stuff.
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Hellboy 2: fucking great...had a blast watching it. (oh, and the Traitor trailer...I'm sold)In Bruges - fucktastically great movie. My favorite Colin role....solid performances all around (and Jarv, he didn't punch a dwarf...karate chops..he-he-he)Kill Zone - great fucking action movie. Donnie Yen is in fact a God. The fight with the dude dressed in white was utterly fantastic, and shocked me a bit with the ending.And then I watched the original Thing again. "butterfingers"...I love that movie.
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I still got excited to see the Clone Wars trailer. No matter how bad the prequels were, seeing star wars (even if only a cartoon) on the big screen again...I guess I liked to be smacked around by the beard.
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Asshole.
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I felt the same way about V. I'm not sure how Portman gets so much work, though she wasn't bad enough to ruin the movie for me by any means.
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to smite HarveyDentDies with his mighty #2 pencil!
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Although she did her best. There has to be some pretty women in Hollywood that can act. Surely. And really, really funny: Node complained about running into the "wall of pretension" in another TB (which I can't find) and then ran straight into memories of cock. Fucking brilliantly ironic.
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Use one of those big pencils they give elementary students. Blows my mind why someone would just trhow that out there into a talkback.
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I bet this is the same cunt that called himself "LastHorcruxisharry". Why do things like that?
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and goddamnit, but the CGI-ing of Brandon back into the film has to be some of the best FX I've ever seen. Even 15 years later it still looks almost flawless. And it's a fucking good film.
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Again, any film with Ernie Hudson ends up being good at some level. I can't prove it though.And Brandon Lee was fantastic, and it's a real shame what happened. His moves in Rapid Fire (with Powers Boothe!)...and his charisma...it definitely would have had his own niche I think in the industry.
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seriously- Dark City, The Crow and then that fecking Audi/ Converse commercial starring WIll Smith. Actually, aside from the hideous product placement I didn't actually hate I, Robot. Although I do understand why it pissed Asimov fans off.I can be a massive nerd sometimes, but I seem to remember the 0th Law of Robotics actually comes from FOundation and Earth and has a benign application. But I could be wrong.
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Did it make your little pecker stand on end to try to spoil the most anticipated film of the summer? Twat.
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"Next time somebody asks you if you're a God, you say yes!" Classic
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It was kind of dull. I'm bored of political TB's now. I just want to keep flaming cockeries and discussing schlock.
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In everything. And I like Michael Wincott in everything he's in too- even Alien Resurrection (it's 2/3 great. You can all bite me).
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Did mommy not push the rectal thermometer deep enough this morning?
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Was standing behind a Chinese exchange student in line to get a ticket for it. He asked for a ticket for "Alien Erection" or at least that what it sounded like he said. We laughed throughout the whole movie thinking about that. Weaver did the reverse basketball shot on the first take. CGI be damned.
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I want that to be true. I really, really want that to be true. ABout the basketball. Not the Alien Erection> I totally believe in that. Alien Resurrection is still my least favourite of the original films, but it's good nonetheless.
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Meet Dave blows. Ok, I didnt actually see it. But I've heard.
Did our movie script thing fall apart? Looks like it. -
all the time when I was watching it, I was thinking that there must have been a British Actress that could have done the role- because she seemed to be concentrating too hard on her accent. And did the part need someone that pretty? Don't forget she has her hair shaved off.
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"Power percieved is power achieved!"
Now let's pool our powers to get an Outlander screening somewhere. That thing needs seen and now!
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I love that movie. Ray is da man!I've never seen Alien Resurrection all the way through. And since I've got the Alien triple pack, I doubt I'll ever see it as I would never go out and buy it. Unless it was for like a dollar or something.
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OF THE SUMMER: Indiana Jones survives a Nuclear blast by hiding in a fridge. I bet you think I'm making that up.
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The director was talking about using CGI for the shot and Weaver said she wanted to try it first. They showed the take they did. The director yelled action and she hit. You could tell the actor were about to go nuts and they did just that after he yelled cut. I like the movie a little better knowing that behind the scene info.
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I'll burn you a copy of the first 2/3rd's and the very end. That's all you need.
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Jul 14, 2008 9:35:34 AM CDT
yup, that female part should have gone to a real actress
by just pillow talk
Clearly they needed someone good to portray what she went through and how she changed.
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I knew it was great.
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Donnie Yen is fucking great.
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which would have been terrible. I like him, but it would have been bad. Also, apparently, he developed claustrophobia in the mask.
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But the missus has retaliated and moved Amadeus and Rosemary's Baby to the top. This is bugging me, because it's meant to be Ong Bak (She doesn't believe me about flaming leg kicks), and Humanoids of the Deep.
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They wanted to use CGI for her as well, but she showed them that she actually was an android. I think she used that in defense while on trial for shoplifting.
DA:"What were you thinking when you stole the merchandise?"
Ryder (staring straight ahead with blank look):"Does not compute." -
One not being able to handle wearing a mask when one's role has him wearing a mask all the time.Agent Smith was great in that role, and really I can't imagine anyone else. I felt he really believed in the words he said and they held more meaning with his delivery.
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and it's classic how he meets his demise.
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See, I loved her in Heathers, and Beetlejuice and so forth. But she really has sucked for quite a while and was simply AWFUL in Alien. I think Fox should go with my plan and set Alien 5 straight after 4 finished on ruined earth and HAVE NEIL FUCKING MARSHALL direct it. You can even through a Predator in there.
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Tell her there's a racist cocaine-snorting dwarf in it. If that doesn't sell it, I'm not sure what will.
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Sigourney Weaver made the behind-the-back half-court basketball shot successfully after two weeks of basketball practice, tutored by a basketball coach. Her conversion rate during that two weeks was about one shot in from every six. When the day came to shoot the scene, director Jean-Pierre Jeunet wanted to have the ball dropped in from above, rather than wait for Weaver to sink the shot herself, which "would probably take about 200 takes". Weaver insisted that the she could get the shot in herself, which she was finally allowed to do. She sunk the shot on the very first take, even though she was six feet further past the three-point line. Ron Perlman was completely stunned (and thoroughly impressed), and turned directly at the camera and broke character, saying, "Oh my God!" The editors looked at the shot and decided that there was "enough room to get the scissors in". Weaver was excited about making the shot, but Jeunet was concerned that audiences would believe the shot to be faked due to the ball leaving the frame. Upon Weaver's insistence, he kept the shot as it was. Weaver described the miracle shot as "one of the best moments in her life", after her wedding day and the birth of her daughter, of course.How very, very fucking cool
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It doesn't release until the end of the month, but still...And I've got Harper (never seen) and Once upon a Time in China (haven't seen in ages) coming up, along with Millions (never seen) after that.
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not on DVD in the UK yet. It only finished in the Cinema in April.
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She also wasn't bad in Girl, Interrupted. But she has either gotten lazy or something happened behind the scenes that has her banned from big roles. Maybe her programming. Isn't she the synthetic android model that didn't like to take orders?
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No, only joking.But seriously, it's monday, so fuck the lot of you.No, not really.Anyway, I hope everyone had a good weekend. I didn't, but I did watch five hours of Werner Herzog gubbins on BBC4 on Saturday night. It was pretty good.Check me out, am I living the high life or what?P.S. I always liked Winona Ryder, but she did suck a serious fart in Alien Resurrection. Terrible casting. Also, they wasted the great Michael Wincott in that film, which is a crime of sort, I reckon.
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Doomsday is a glorious mess (one that is not inappropriate for this thread). Remember these words, Pillows, when it comes to Doomsday: Better. With. Beer.
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When he says to Brandon Lee, that if it's any consolation, this is the first time he's been amused in ages, I thought it was ace.
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but I get your point. I tried beer and a martini with 10,000 BC.Didnothelp.
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They talk about it on the Quadradingdangdoodly box set, and you can just see where they had to cut the shot a little early because Ron Perlman bursts out laughing when she makes the shot. It's pretty cool.
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Thanks Jarv. I was about to try and youtube the video I saw of that shot and the discussion. Knew it was cool. Forgot about her saying that about the shot. I will look for it on youtube now.
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Hellboy 2 was great.I repeat: it was great.And you said August release in the UK, right? That a long fucking time...ya dirty cunt. hehehe...
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What really bugged me was that she was meant to have emotion and failed. She was rubbish. ROn Perlman should have ripped her ears off for wasting his booze as well.
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He's one of my favourite movie villains in that film, and that moment Jarv mentions is indeed very, very cool.
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I was sort of looking forward to it. OhDearyMe
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Roland better be doing his absurd thing with 2012, that's all I'm saying.
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I'm glad you liked it. Yes, it doesn't mcome out here until until 22 August, which is kind of a bastard. I thought they were pretty much releasing the blockbuster stuff simultaneously these days, but not Hellboy 2, apparently.How was Luke Goss as the villain? I thought he was great in Blade 2. It's good to see him back with Del Toro again.
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What a shame.
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Can you imagine if they just kept using the shot? Say a facehugger grabs her and she just wads it up and says "Hug on this!" and throws it behind her head and into the basket? Or maybe she grabs that little guy and throughs him through as well..
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for fuck's sake. I'm in Spain then. When's TDK out.
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I've just been attempting it while having a ciggarette and am totally unsurprised to report that I didn't get anywhere near. And I was closer than her.
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honesty makes me think that the Studios aren't that concerned about piracy. If they were then it would have a simultaneous global release. There's really no excuse nowadays for these fucking huge gaps we're getting.
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Right there with The Fall and Wall E as best of the summer.
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I was watching a promotional 'making of' thing about it at the weekend, and I'm kind of looking forward to it, but I'm not expecting to like it as much as Iron Man. It looks just as dreary as Begins, plus the action they showed looked incredibly uninspired. Who knows, though, maybe it'll take me by surprise.
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Agreed, and put Speed on that list as well.
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Whenever I see him interviewed, all I can think about is Harry Enfield's Tim Nice But Dim character. He looks so much like him.
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And Brandon Lee would have been a fucking GREAT joker. Off home. Have fun chaps.
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So I won't be posting so much, gotta be working in the garden and getting all dirty. Anyways I am finish up Mishima: A Life in Four Chapters. This is a pretty intense movie. Has an one else seen it? I watched the new Batman cartoons yesterday, they were pretty cool, it would've been cool if they saved one to show before the movie, but I figure with almost 3 hours run time the studios didn't want to try anything more. As for release dates, I remember living in Britain and how
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I expect it to be number 1 tomorrow.
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sometimes movies took over six months to come out there
Hey Jarv, you like Little Britain? -
I knew it wasn't just me.
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It is, in fact, shit. Unfunny crap with men in drag. I don't like Catherine Tate either. Really off home now
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And actually hit post talkback on accident.
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A lot of British people I know really hate that show. I love it though, so does my lady friend. I really wonder how its going to be when they make it for the state.
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I just meant that HB2,WALLE and The Fall were the masterpieces so far. I also really loved Iron Man, Prince Caspian, Indiana Jones, The Son of Rambow. Speed, Incredible Hulk, Mongol were all pretty darn good too. Even Journey to Center of the Earth was a fun popcorn movie.
Only bad summer movie Ive seen was The Happening. -
Always thought it was stupid to have his character go out like that in Alien Erection. Sort of pegged him to at least make it to end and maybe sac himself for the greater good. His voice rocks. I'm going to smoke until mine sounds that way.
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He was an interesting guy, and I thought Schrader made a pretty damn good film about him.As for release dates, I just don't get some of them. A week's delay In can understand (big premieres and promotion and whatnot), but some of the other ones are bizarre. The Mist, for example just came out a weeks or so ago here. What the hell is that about?And Little Britain was funny at first, but it's one of those shows that got tired really, really quickly. It doesn't help that you have to put up with working in offices stuffed full of people so devoid of imagination they constantly parrot all the catchphrases. That is damn annoying.
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I'd put Speed in masterpiece section. The only movie I went to see twice since Kong. I think Speed will have to be a time thing, it may be a movie I go back and watch a year later and think...man this wasn't that amazing. But man I've gone back and watch the Matrix sequels a couple of times, and its one of the few movies that I feel gets better with more views. I know a lot of people hate the matrices, and the plot is still outlandish but that car sequence in part two is just amazing. As for Ironman, I think its getting so much praise because people initially thought it was going to suck. Like if you read the pre-release buzz, everyone thought it may flop. I thought it had huge hit written all over it, I didn't like it because everything about it was just one big set up for the sequel. Similar with the Hulk, but at least the Hulk had an obvious bad guy, I think the directors cut of the Hulk could be pretty cool, or they may not actually do it. Did you guys heat about RDJ getting a nice ass car as a present for Iron man?
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Sorry about that.
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Yeah I bet Little Britain was a lot like the Chapelle show here. It was really funny in parts, and lagged bad in others, and then everyone had to say the catchphrases. See I never got the over kill of, "Want that one", over here. Just finished Mishima, gonna listen to the commentary for a bit. Mishima kind of reminds me of Chuck Palahniuk a bit. With the whole struggle with homosexuality and body building and non conforming to norms, while going to extremes with some social norms.
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Is playing on Fantom events. Has anyone gone to one of those things?
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Definitely a worthy opponent of Hellboy. I'd have to see both again, but I think I prefer HB 2 over Iron Man.
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Like I left Ironman and was, meh, nothing I didn't see in the trailers. Terrible use of probably the perfect theme song. Elfman made a very good score. Hellboy, everything I saw in the trailers didn't give anyway anything in the movie. Anyone here read the Hellboy comics? How much of that movie was GDT? Plus some of the fight scenes in Hellboy were amazing, the sword fight at the end awesome. Also I was surprised that Seth MacFarlane had like the 3 or 4th biggest role in the film. Funny thing, looking up Robin Hood Prince of Thieves I found out that Michael McShane (the therapist/hypnotist who has a heart attack in Office Space) was Tuck and Roll in a bugs life.
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What I liked about Mishima was his idea to turn his entire life into a novel, complete with an appropriate ending. He was pretty crazy, but you have to admire his guts.I prefer Palahniuk's writing, though. A couple of Mishima's novels are worth a look, but they're a little flowery for my taste.P.S. Sorry about that guts pun. That was awful. People say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but I reckon puns are much worse.
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That dude is a lot older then I realized. I saw his IMDB page and just saw his date and was trying to think of some old looking dude. Then I went back and read what you guys said about him, bad guy from Crow and I was like? That guy? I was expecting him to be a lot younger. As for him being Joker, I don't see it. His voice is too deep, you need a high almost whiny voice for joker. Wouldn't it be cool if for the Dark Knight premiere, they got all the Batman's together? I may have already mentioned that here, but that would be cool. Even if Kilmar is really fat right now for a movie.
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I just started watching it last night and it's really good. I only saw the first two episdoes, so they haven't actually been anywhere yet, but I'm liking it so far.
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Best part of A Bug's Life is when the ant is explaining his situation to them and he laughs. They haven't a clue what he is saying so they just look at each other like WTF and laugh along.
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Is Talk Radio, the Oliver Stone film with Eric Bogosian. He does a great vacuous giggling stoner idiot in that film, but not in a cute way. It's a great representation of all the stone cold morons in the world.
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Micheal Keaton standing on his tippee toes, Val Kilmer sucking his gut in, Clooney not giving a shit and Bale thinking 'damn I own these guys.'
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Fred think too many fanboys think South Park the greatest thing since the poodle cut.
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I thought did a really good job in Hellboy 2. He's jokes always got laughs. Though I'm a fan of his. I don't understand why fanboys seem to hate him so much. Especially all the backlash on this site from the Family Guy Star Wars. Especially what Harry said about it when it came out on DVD, saying it was the worst show ever. Those are big words. I almost feel a sense of jealously about hating him. There are a lot worse people in Hollywood to hate, Seth MacFarlane actually cares about his fans and doesn't take himself too seriously. I mean he is full of himself and comes off as a dick, but the shit he says is funny as hell. I saw an interview where someone ask him about what he does when he gets creatively blocked and he said that he likes to go and watch repeats of Back to You, because its always reassuring to know that someone is more creatively blocked then you. And this was right after his 100 million dollar deal with Fox, who made Back to You.
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And Adam West, who thought he was showing up to some comic event and dressed in his Batman suit. And Kevin Conroy standing to them and everyone going, Who's that guy? Even though he's played Batman the longest.
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Everyone seems to like it, and I think I'm looking forward to it more than The Dark Knight.By the way, just to spice things up, I saw Batman Begins again at the weekend (for warming up purposes) and it's worse than I remembered. It definitely has its good points (the character stuff, Christian Bale, Michael Caine), but there's so much dreck. Awful, awful dreck. The constant explaining and rationalising of Batman (boring), the ludicrously heavy-handed repetition of the 'fear' theme (thanks, guys, I got it after the fourth time someone crow-barred it into a line of dialogue), and then there's that goofy third act with the magical microwave steam gun.I'm considering instituting a three strike rule when it comes to the themes in The Dark Knight. If I hear a third iteration of the 'escalation' theme, I believe I will leave the cinema. Once is fine, twice maybe to reach the cheap seats and the latecomers, but if I have to be bashed about the face with ESCALATION in this film like I was bashed about the face with FEAR during Begins, I think it's better that me and TDK just go our separate ways.
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He's thinking, "Christ, this mask makes my face look fat!"
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Yeah, the whole idea of Mishima making his private army of followers, I could totally see Chuck doing the same. And yeah Mishima turning his life into a novel is crazy. I listing to the commentary about it and they are talking about all the problems they faced being allowed to make the movie and all the interference they got from Japan's government and Mishima's wife, like the whole subject was taboo.
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I thought was a pretty terrible movie. Especially given the talent. Sessions 9 is one of my favorite modern horror movies, and The Machinist had just a lazy plot, and the whole weight lose thing didn't really make sense.
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But I can see Conroy running up in his cape to other Batmen and all of the sudden you hear a woman scream 'He's got a gun!' Blam! Blam! Blam!
Conroy:"You know who I am now? Huh? Thought so." -
1) Iron Man - it started off great, very tight fast paced origin. Great performances. It did fall off a little towards end. Fight scene with Obie not very good. But overall it very enjoyable movie. Only one that Fred pay to see twice. 2) Speed Racer - just a fun, over the top, sugary confection that blew Fred's mind with the visuals. Definitely not everyone cup of mocca. But that is why we have opinions - to be different. 3)Wall-E. A cute movie. Not quite as funny as trailers would leave you to beleive, but still cute story. Fred ignored environmental hokum angle - if it was even there in first place. Fred loved the artistry involved in making film. It did drag at times though. 4) HBII - It had action, but no real danger. It had humor, but not as heart warming or heartfelt as first. It was supernatural MIB. Not that it is a bad thing, but Fred felt it went with bigger is better attitude. And Fred not like it that much. Fred still think it jumped the troll in Market scene. 5) Hulk - It mindless eye candy. But delivered one of best comic book movie fights. For that alone, Fred liked. 6)Indy - It not bad. And it bring back Harry Ford. Ford was impressive, despite his age. If they had set it during WWII it would still have been very effective. Shia useless. Marion wasted. Cate wasted. CGI unnecessary. Problem is that the story was not compelling. 7) Wanted - Fred not want it. It not terrible, and it have some impressive visuals. But it just not very memorable in the end.
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Just in case you missed it. Fear.I'd love to know how much conflict there was between Nolan and Goyer on Begins, because I imagine much of the more subtle writing came from Nolan and the more heavy-handed stuff was Goyer's work. Not that I'm dismissing Goyer, because I like Blade and Blade II, but he's not the world's most subtle writer.P.S. FEAR!
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Isn't like Blair Witch, its shot like a real movie. Its pretty good, its one of the few horror movies shot in the day time. Though my lady friend thought it was silly. I still thought it was good.
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I don't have anything to add to that. I just thought it was a funny phrase.
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Can someone explain to me this ludicrous comparison? Other than they both had creatures, they are nothing alike.
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But its not hand held.
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You guys have put this baby back at number one. Kudos indeed.Pillow, glad you finally watched Kill Zone. The alley fight was crazy insane, but that fight with Sammo had my head spinning. How a fat man can move like that is beyond me.Indy 4 was crap, end of discussion.Wathced Tom Yum Goong again on the weekend with some guys who had never seen it. Their reactions were as good as the movie.
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I think the MIB comparison comes from the nature of the creatures hiding among humans. That first walk through the BPRD(which is like MIB headquarters)in the new HB does feel like MIB as they are attempting to wrangle various creatures while Manning and Abe talk. But, whereas, MIB was mostly all jokes without substance, HB actually did something with it's hidden world story. It made us care about that hidden world's potential destruction.
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In the first HB, you never see creatures running around or restrained in the HQ. In the second, they are all over the place in the HQ - just like in MIB HQ. HBII - required special goggles to see trolls hidden as Humans, ever so much like Aliens hiding out in human population. Those are just the two examples that popped up.
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The scene with the Fragglewump was much in the same spirit as the part where they oust that Mexican Ricky Jay as the blue keyboard player from ROTJ or whatever happened. That and those scenes with Tony Shaloub.
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Fred not understand a word of what you meant by Mexican Rickey Jay and ROTJ
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was Sammo's partner and Kelly Hu was his daughter, I think.
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first showed up on Walker Texas Ranger I think.
I never actually saw much of Walker, but IMDB seems to suggest that sthe case. In fact I was only once ever tempted to actually watch a whole Walker episode. It involved Gary Busey killing a guy, and a girl with downs syndrome witnessing it. For the rest of the show stuff like this would happen:
DS girl walking through the park, happily eating an ice cream cone or something. Suddenly Gary would leap out from behind a tree and start warbling, and chasing her. Im not kidding. Though, its doubtful it's the first time Gary has chased mentaly disabled people through the park. -
At least not until Dark Knight fires up.
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Jul 14, 2008 11:47:26 AM CDT
Fred Think Gary was the mentally disabled doing the chasing
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Tee hee
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this is whom I spoke of..
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0129564/ -
Now, Fred understand.
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I remember Walker going into the woods as they were chasing down some fugitives. All of the sudden, it would cut away to a picture of a wolf and it would give Walker better tracking powers or something. It even played the standard mystical tv music during the image of the wolf and Walker's face. I don't know why that bothered me so much. My grandmother didn't seem to mind though.
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I think the cats here particularly would appreciate it. It's pretty good,actually. A take on the Wendigo legend.
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Fred have Hulk comic featuring Wendy.
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That 30 second scene when they walk through the HQ was a bit like MIB. I'll give you that. the rest? I think it's a stretch. I think the only reason we didn't see as many creatures in the first was simply because of budget and studio interference though.
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people only need 30 second scenes to make comparisons. For the same reasons, HB2 is exactly the same movie as Princess Mononoke because of the Forest Elemental.
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it's on the main page under the coaxial part of AICN. It's under the headline mentioning Mori and FI
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Was that a creature that battled with Alpha Flight?
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then you would point out that HB2 and Blade 2 have the following in common:
both comic book sequels far more epic in scope than originals directed by the same guy and both featuring for their villain the same actor playing an exiled son of the aristocracy with a royal sister who had declared war on the father and rebelled and eventually fights the main character in a big martial arts battle. There are others, but they constitute spoilers so I digress. -
It's not like MIB really at all, save for those few details. It's a far better movie. And there aren't a ton of creature agents-The scene being talked about it involves human agents trying to wrangle and detain, presumably baddies that Hellboy had already captured. Like what would have happened if he had brought Sammael back to headquarters. Only Johann is the other good "creature" agent in the movie. Since this is about the revolution of the hidden world of Faery rising up, there are a giant assortment of monsters. But they are so well designed, and developed, that it's exciting and elating not dull or tedious.
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of a 2 hour movie that is jammed to the gills with awesome, that literally every scene is great and imaginative. I didnt feel there was any filler. In fact, I was so involved in the movie, it wasnt til much later I realized the similarity between B2 and HB2.
It's a movie that prob plays better the second time, when you can savor each and every great moment. It's overstuffed, but not in a way that negates your enjoyment. POTC 3 was stuffed to the point of bloat, but HB2 is just a rich and delicious feast.
And where else can you hear the line: "Im not a baby, Im a tumor." -
No wonder I loved HB2. I loved Blade 2. I think they are different enough to enjoy both though.
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Burton vibe on this. This was one of the few movies of the summer where I noticed the score truly complementing the movie. This is a better meditation on the family that outcasts form together, than any of the stuff Burton has ever done on the topic. And it's fitting to have Elfman's childlike, haunting melodies to accompany this. The aftermath of the Elemental battle is made all the more poignant because of Elfman's score.
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it's not noticeable enough to be distracting. Hellboy 2 is just fantastic. It's one of those movies that I can't wait to see again. And it didnt fall apart at the end. It's tied with Pan's as my favorite thing Del Toro has done.
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I do see the comparison of the Elemental to the Mononoke thing. But del Toro's is much cooler than that film's abstract blob. I loved the elemental scene from start to finish in HB2. the little bean. Krauss telling HB to shoot it in its ganglion and finally exasperatingly just telling him to "shoot it in the head." Nuada's speech. The death of the elemental. Perfect.
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The elemental was by far the most beautiful "monster attacks a city" sequence I have ever seen, and Ive seen alot. Funny, because if anything looked off in the trailers, it was that creature-a tad too cartoony. But it didnt come off that way in the final product at all.
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I was worried that the CGI would be weak in that scene going by the trailers but it was awesome. there are so many great moments in this movie. The locker fight. The drunk scene even though it was a 20 minute Tecate commercial. The Golden Army and Krauss possessing one of them to kick the others' asses. And the tooth fairy scene was classic del toro. It actually scared me a little.
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For instance, that is Broom's cross Liz is wearing right? The one that burned it's way into Red's hand at the end of the first film?
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Probably.
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My problem with fight with fatso is that once Donnie got pissed and started slamming him around...he ain't getting up. No way. No how.But I do agree I was surprised how that dude could move.
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Granted, I've only seen Indy 4 and Iron Man, but I think this is my favorite summer film so far.
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That way I could maybe agree or disagree on some of the stuff. But so far I like the comparisons. I just need to see it. But by then everyone will be talking about TDK. I can't imagine the traffic after it hits. I'm shocked this thread surged back ahead so fast. Saturday and Sunday night was slow going. What ever happened to the script writing. That was getting fun.
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Don't go into Harry's review of HB thread then. There is a ton of people that really didn't like it, so be warned. It appears me and Jonah and Node are in the minority.
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It wasn't really like anything out at the time. I kind of snuck up on me as I didn't see many previews and I never really read the comic. I know I wish I could get one of those knifes that looked like a nightstick. It mixed the fantasy and the humor pretty well. I'm looking forward to the big beast rising up through the street. Reminds me of the scene in War of the Worlds. That was the best part of that whole movie. I youtube that scene nearly every Friday.
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That scene represents the power of 2for2true. When he awakens from his sunder and launches his #2 pencil through the earth...signaling that shitheels will pay for their misdeeds.
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Like its somewhere in there. Anyways there was a point of showing all the monsters in this one. The whole point of the movie is about the monsters not being killed off. If they only showed like 4-6 monsters you wouldn't have cared because you'd be like, well there aren't that many to begin with. That elemental scene was amazing, the trailers for this movie have been great in not giving too much away. Also it is so rich in detail, like everything is so intricate.
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Is a huge hit? Remember when we first started hearing bad rumors about it, people tried to act like it was going to flop, even though it had hit written all over it. Also Hellboy 2 only cost 85 million to make, I seriously thought it cost a lot more. It certainly looks like it cost a lot more.
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I was reading a talkback and all of the sudden I witnessed 2for2true. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Sort of like when I was scuba diving and saw a shark for the first time. Scared and amazed at the same time. I hear he sharpens his pencil in the hole of the ship from ID4. This guy is beyond Bill Brasky.
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It was that memorable
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If you liked the first you'll love this one even more. I can't believe so many people didn't like it though. This site is exasperating me lately. Seems like my tastes are the opposite of everyone else's this summer. Ironman and TIH were merely OK in my opinion but people on here think they are the second coming. It boggles my mind.
And don't get me started on Indy 4. The backlash that film has gotten on this site sickens me. It's hypocrisy of highest order. For fucking years the cretins on this site have been attached to Spielberg's colon like a parasite clamoring for a sequel and then he does one, and one that in my opinion was very entertaining and in keeping with the tone and realism of at least the second two, and he gets eviscerated for it. The whole nuking of the fridge thing has been blown completely out of porportion. It was an A-Bomb TEST. Who the fuck knows how powerful it was? People are acting like he survived a direct strike by a Trident II or Minuteman III ICBM for fuck's sake. Even if the bomb was the equivalent of a Hiroshima or Nagasaki bomb it wouldn't be that strong. And those old fridges were sturdy as fuck man. People fucking died in those things for Christ's sake. -
Head to the next town over (we do not have a theater) and take it in. I'm a sucker for big creatures tearing up a city and if there is a good movie surrounding it to boot. I could have told you Will Smith movie was going to make money. I bet half the people there had no idea what the movie was about, yet they showed up. Kind of like the people heading to the baseball field in Field of Dreams. The only way I can see him flopping a movie is if he gets into some sort of scandal in the real world. Otherwise he is going to make the studios money opening weekend.
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I could barely swing the door open when I was a kid. You had to go through a sequence on the handle just to get into it. It also didn't have all the trays and drawers in it. No sir, you just had two metal racks and they were NOT adjustable. It still works though. Amazing that some people will nit pick about one thing such as the fridge ride, but not have anything to say about the aliens. When I go to movie like that, i suspend by disbelief for the entire movie. Not just some parts of it. If Robert De Niro had suddenly been able to fly in Good Fellas i would have complained because that wasn't a sci-fi movie. But if it is sci-fi movie i tend to get ready for anything that may happen.
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Everyone seems to hate classics, hate new stuff, says every director is a hack. I just don't understand it. Even though I thought Indy 4 was just okay, I most certainly didn't hate it. Actually I think the whole jungle chase scene bugs me a lot more than the fridge scene. I'm not sure why that is, but I think it has to do with ants and the swinging scene. Oh, and Shia straddling the moving cars. Now, I don't mind Shia at all, but that should have been Indy fighting everyone on the trucks, not Shia. All the hate directed towards the Godfather...the Godfather? Recent negativity towards Terminator 2? Very....strange.
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Just curious as to what some non-negative folks thought...
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I live in DC and they have a parking shuttle to go to the new ballpark downtown because of lack of parking near the thing. Anywho they contracted some open air double decker tourbus company to shuttle some of the fans. Friday night two drunk morons were standing up on the bus on the open air top level and were decapitated by an overpass. Darwin Awards anyone?
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they were "heading off" to the baseball field. So was it the Nationals who contracted the bus, or the city?
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I loved the ant scene! It was the classic creepy crawly scene in every one of the films. If there was anything that made me groan it was the Shia Tarzan scene. THAT could have been left out IMHO.
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I really liked Indy 4 actually. It had flaws sure, but it was good. In fact everything I've seen so far this summmer Ive enjoyed with one GIANT exception: The Happening. And even that was so bad, there was at least the value of being stunned at it's badness(sadly, I was not also entertained by it's badness.)
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The shuttle bus is actually on a freeway for a portion of the journey and they contract an open air shuttle to do the job of ferrying drunks to and from the game? Just another dunderheaded move by the owners, the Lerner family. They make Daniel Snyder look good by comparison.
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It's sort of like a pack mentality. One or two people say they hate a movie. Then the process of everyone else wanting to join in and gibe a new reason of why they hated it. I've seen people post and post about how good a movie is and then a week later they are saying they hate it. What if Ewe Boll all of the sudden makes a good movie. Will anybody be able to admit it? Negativity is the new fad nowadays and it seems to be staying for awhile.
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Everyone's ideas are here-rearranged a little, but this is the repost of what I first compiled earlier..Ive got new stuff to add, but here you go.
Also, feel free to keep adding to the already existing threads, regardless of what they are. Im logging all of it.
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that's fine. But me, I liked it. And I wasn't trying to like it. I was a fan of Raiders, and enjoyed Last Crusade but I wasnt gunning for Indy 4 to succeed. I just went in curious.
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Long opening shot of farms, cows and corn. It is a overcast day, the clouds a foreboding pinkish purple.
Superimpose: Midwestern United States 3:p.m. April 5th, 2012 Miller Time.
Cut to a cattle farm. A little boy in ill fitting overalls is running through a field towards an old, slightly antiquated farm house.
We follow his POV as he darts around the back of the house and a few old hound-dogs start to chase him about.He is carrying something in his hands, but his back is to us, and our view obscured. As he heads towards a screened in porch we see a sign out front that says “Lubnuggit Farm”
Jeremy Lubnuggit:‘Papa!” Papa!”
The dogs bark more furiously, and from within the house we hear the sound of crashing and banging, as if Snophalophagus himself is bumbling towards the door. Then a hoarse, gravely yell calls out.
Homer Lubnuggit: “Jeremy. Shut your hole! Those damn dogs are gonna tear the door off it’s hinges if you keep squalling like that.”
Homer Lubnuggit comes to the door, looking ragged and disheveled(in this role a piece of driftwood with a face painted on it and a hat, but most likely Kris Kristofferson). We see his long stringy hair first, as he stands looking out first at the boy and the darkening clouds. This clearly registers as distress on his face. His tone softens with the boy.
Homer: “What is it? What do you got there?”
POV of Homer looking at Jeremy: the boy is holding what he has behind his back. Tears are almost welling up in his eyes.
Jeremy: “Dad, is the world coming to an end?”
Homer doesn’t seem to expect this.
Homer: What the hell you talking? World ends when the good Lord says it ends. Today, it ain’t that day. Least not before you finish feeding them cows. Now show me what you got.”
POV of back of Homer as Jeremy hands over reluctantly what he found.
Homer: “Sweet Lord in a birch bark canoe!”
We then see Homer and the boy as he slowly lifts up into our view a rather large, white object. It appears to be a frozen seaturtle. It’s large, but rolled into a ball and covered in a sheet of ice. As Homer looks on in horror,he can see the turtle in the ice is still breathing. In classic Kristofferson fashion, he lurches his shaggy mane forward, and begins to bark out words.
Homer L:“Where did you find this boy?”
Jeremy L. sobbing uncontrollably now. “TUURRRTTTLLE!!!
Homer raises his eyes towards the heavens.
Homer: “Lord, it’s time isn’t it?”
Without warning and seemingly in answer to Homer’s query, hundreds of icy objects being dropping from the sky with forceful collision.
BAM! A cow is vaporized by a SmartCar sized chunk of ice. As it lands we see this is a frozen Shark. Sticking out if it’s mouth is a crusty seaman.
As the other cows begin stampeding off in a panic, they are pulverized by other gigantic balls of hail containing sea creatures. Dumbfounded, the father and son stand in awe as cow entrails rain down upon them.
And then Homer sees it. Falling rapidly. Jeremy sees it.
All there is time for is one unified gasp of “Holy Shasta!!” as the frozen Blue Whale falls and lands end over end, tearing it’s way through the crops, the barn, and then the house as Home and Jeremy fall in the wake of dark brown dust.
The words 2012 grace the screen.
And then Remy Gosovac awakes in a terrible sweat in his Hollywood penthouse, falling out of his bed and knocking out a few sleeping starlets. He lands on his back looking up at the poster on the wall.
POV of Remy: There sits a poster for The Day Canada Attacked. A REMY GOSOVAC Picture.
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Just to see what side of the fence I'm on. I've rarely seen a movie that has split the fans right down the middle. It's the Roe vs. Wade of summer blockbusters.
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I'm going to get lambasted for this, but I liked it. I think it's another movie that's been unfairly trashed on this site. Is it great? No. But I liked it and don't think it's anywhere near as bad as it's made out to be. I think people are expecting another SS and disappointed when they don't get it. The ending scared the shit out of me. I can see why people wouldn't like it though. Night got the shortbus list of actors this go around. Wahlberg, I'm sorry, sucks in everything except The Departed where he doesn't so much act but be himself. Zooey is vapid and talentless. And Talouse Latrec was awful too and he's barely in it.
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As much as the backlash, yes, sickened me, you leading the charge of hatred every step of the way for weeks and shouting down anyone who DID like it was without merit my friend. It's one thing to criticize the film and point out faults here and there, but your vitriolic, slathering, ceaseless hatred of the film was unnecessary and extreme. You're the one who couldn't let people enjoy it for what it was.
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Sheesh, this talkback about a movie no-one wants to see is the no.1 talk-back thing after what, 4 days ? Hey, talk-back wise nothing more fun as writing in one about B movies, c'mon we all like 'em. Just came back from Iron Man which I hadn't seen yet but didn't want to miss out on. Favreau in my opinion made the very best comic book action hero film ever until.... the last 20 minutes of that film. Left the theater grumpy and annoyed, c'mon WHY did that have to turn into a crappy, by the numbers action/comic book movie after 100+ minutes of hardcore movie awesomeness ? Oh Pazuzu, by the way, Burial Ground kicks ass and has the highest re-watchability factor of all zombie films ever made, love it, Peter Bark should have been a huge star haha.
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Interior of Hollywood penthouse:
Remy Gosovac lays on the floor, rubbing his head. He stands up, trying to clear the sleep from his eyes.
He is a tall, thin man in his late 30s. German. Blonde, almost white hair, curly. He is currently wearing only a pair of Scooby Doo boxers with a distinct lipstick smear on the crotch. He looks around the darkened penthouse.
Bottles lay scattered on the floor. A petite redhead in skimpy lingerie is muttering on the floor next to the bed she just fell out of. She rolls over and falls back to sleep, her lower half protruding from under the bed.
Remy looks at all this, and paces across to the kitchenette. He is clearly shaken.
POV of the fridge:
Inside only beer, bratwurst, and a jello mold shaped like the Stargate sit on the shelves.
Remy grabs a beer and closes it.
He is muttering to himself, looking around for something in the pile of mess sitting on the dining room table. He finds a tablet and a pen.
Remy: “Midwest. Rednecks. Frozen turtles?” Looks up, quizzically. “This is gonna be great. But it seemed so real.”
POV: over Remy’s shoulder we see him sketching the whale falling from the heavens. Then his cell phone rings. The ring is the theme song from Thundercats.
Remy turns, stirred from his work, and answers it. A loud manic voice on the other end of the phone is screaming insistently to turn on the tv.
Remy: “Bradley? Is that you?”
The voice on the phone confirms by yelling.
Bradley: “Who else would be calling you stoned at 4 in the morning. Get your Aryan a** over to the t.v. pronto.”
Remy relaxes a little. Bradley Storm is a fellow director. His claim to fame was a movie about an clan of ninja nuns and a Vietnam war film from the perspective of the gun.
Remy turns on the tv, to CNN and there is a reporter standing next to a devastated farmhouse with the remains of what looks like a frozen whale.
Remy drops his beer.
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Maximum Overdrive was hysterical if not for the one scene where they are stuck in the truckstop while the semis drive around in circles. That one hungover guy stumbles into the front of the store still half-drunk and yells "What the hell is going on?"
That shit cracks me up everytime.
Damn that movie was a great B-Flick. -
Hilarious!
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by the time we got to the Happening. At least I wasn't. I think most were just hoping it wouldnt be as bad as Lady in the Water. And what was terrifying about the ending? Im not trying to be combative. Just curious. Im not a hater. I liked Sixth Sense, Unbreakable, Signs, The Village. I didnt even straight out loathe Lady. I just thought it was a missed opportunity. So I didnt go into Happening expecting anything. I was hoping it would be good. But it just seemed inexplicably incompetent at every turn. Like it wasnt a movie made for humans at all, but some other group completely. Like, hey maybe if plants watch tv, they will enjoy this film about their uprising.
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Ebert seemed to enjoy it. He liked the eerie tone. I can dig that, but the eerie tone was always being broken up by poor directing choices or bad dialogue.
One scene hit the mark, managing to almost be humorous and terrifying at the same time. Something Ive never seen in a movie before, and that was all those bodies just flying over the roof and smashing down in various places. If the whole movie had followed that scene's cue, maybe it would have been better. I just feel like Shyamalan isnt trying as hard these days. He has great talent, but I didnt see it on display there. -
the last part is all mine, though the previous part is a combo of ideas and lines with mine strung in there as well that were posted here. We were working on a faux script for 2012. Just for fun and to keep the talback moving.
Feel free to add on to it. -
I didn't love it, but I didn't really hate it. To be honest, rather enjoyed it until I found out the beasts weren't real. Always thought the better twist would have been if the beasts WERE real and the town leaders just didn't want to believe it. The score was very good however. The Gravel Road is best of the lot in my opinion.
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That haunting violin bit. Every JNH score for Shyamalan has been good. Even, and especially, Lady in the Water. Except The Happening. It sounded like a parade. Terrible!
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It reminded Fred of English Anthology short stories Fred had to read in grade school. It was well made, andthough not scary, it had a creepy, out of kilter type. The problem with it, was expectations. When the twist turned out to be non-horro related, audience turned against movie and Night. Fred liked Unbreakable as well. Fred think it was marketing backlash that killed Unbreakable. Sixth Sense was very good thriller/not so much horror, with killer twist. Unbreakable was marketed as next big thing from director of Sixth Sense. No one was expecting a movie about comic boook geek and invulnerable man. It was a good movie, not best comic book movie as some have siad, but good enough to stand on it's own. Nut it had false expectations. Fred only saw ending of Signs, had no interest in Lady in bathtub.
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My friends act like I'm crazy, but I can't get enough of good movie scores. Went through the usual John Williams phase at first, but have experienced many others after just sitting in front of itunes and searching. Listening to Emipre of the Sun-Exsultate Justi right now.
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ruin movie with spoilers: die die die fortunately i looked away early enough and then washed my memory. rosermary's baby: good, really good, roman: pedo
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was ok. not write home fantastic but ok. i heard big willie on the radio talking about 'do something unexpected, mixing up the superhero format, pushing the envelope' and i had to laugh though Indy 4 was ok. easily the weakest of the indy movies, swinging scence ok, not a fan of the end but it had it's momements. i even liked the fridge scence, but the start chase was lackingthe happening: so so. i guess it was ok. the old women was creepy. at one stage i thought there was going to a lake placid thing were she was in control
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After sixth Sense, Night could do what he wanted. But the audience was expecting a follow-up just as creepy as SS. The marketing blitz did not lead you into believeing it was a comic book geek/hero type movie. Even, though it was a good movie, peoples expectations were of an entirely different sort. Night, may not have wanted to pigeon hole himslef as just being a thriller/creepy/horror/with a twist type of director. But his studio certainly tried to cash in on that. And Night did nothing to dissuade that. So, when The Village hit next, Night who had lost some goodwill because of unbreakble, but still had a chance to redeem it, really flushed all of it down toilet with yet another movie marketed as a creepy/thriller/horror and it turns out to be - well nothing of the sort. The Village was a good little movie, it felt like an Indie movie, not a major release though. A lot of people felt turned off. Fred not see signs, but Fred hear mostly bad things about it. Same with bathtub lady. And same with Happening. Night needs to make a really good movie. His name still opens a movie, but Fred willing to bet audience not come to next one unless it kick major bootee.
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Jul 14, 2008 4:15:26 PM CDT
Hancock was just Ok. It could have been great though
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
It felt like they were rushing to end it. 90 minutes too short for that movie. If they had just expanded the Theron/Smith storyline by just 20/25 minutes, and had a kick ass villain at the end, it might have made a world of difference. It started off great though.
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Loved the creepiness of the first half of the movie in the fields and with the news footgage. Just didn't like the way it wrapped up with the cgi effects.
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Woody Harrelson has just been announced to be in 2012!
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I guess the release date will now be 4-20
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i actually thing hancock is better.
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Tonight He comes? Script websites?
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Jul 14, 2008 5:07:28 PM CDT
Why did everyone want the monsters to be real in The Village?
by hobocode
To me that would have been kind of silly. I thought it was a brilliant twist for Shyamalan to have it NOT be supernatural for once since it had been in all his movies up to that point. It seems like no matter what Shyamalan does he can't make people happy anymore. It makes me sad because I love the guys work. Yes, even Lady in the Water. I don't need others to reinforce my opinion but if his films aren't successful obviously he's not going to be making stuff I like anymore. It's just a bummer he can't seem to connect with broader audiences anymore.
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From what I recall of it, and it's been a while, wouldnt know where to get it, THC was totally different. There was a bum superhero(more homeless than just a jerk) and he did bond with a guy's wife and kid, but the second act twist wasnt in there. It involved a guy being a security guard or something and this big robbery going down, and this guy trying to stop it because he wants to prove to his wife and kid he can be heroic. Hancock was in the story, but it revolved less around I feel like. I honestly dont know, as I havent seen Hancock. But Tonight He Comes was pretty predictable.
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Those first three supernatural thriller movies were somewhat classic. And they felt like a spiritual exploration as well. Sixth Sense deals with a man who has lost confidence in himself, in his calling. Unbreakable is about a man who has given up on life, and doesnt even realize he has missed his calling, can't put his finger on it. Signs was about a man who gave up on God but also on faith and in hope. He abandoned and rejected his calling. I believe because of the themes, these were his strongest films. The Village had a fable sensibility to it, or some kind of parable. It was good but the beginning of some sloppy habits. Lady in the Water wasnt a fairy tale but a bedtime story, slung together, overly obvious and promoting above all things the teller of the tale and the power of the listener. It was a mess, in short. His themes ran out and were replaced by "messages" and that was the problem. Next time, pick a theme, and leave the message at home.
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are you still writing on the script or are we done? I attempted to add a little bit more this afternoon. I think Woody will have to be added in now.
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I will. I would like too. Getting these days off though has prompted me to bust my ass working around the house and getting all dirty and shit so I can't always get on the computer. Trying to learn plumbing right now.
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yeah that pretty much spot on. series, i forgot where i got the script but i have it and can send it to you. it is missing the second last page which is real fuck around but anyway.
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they're NEVER going to survive to procreate. Chinese eat anything with its back to the sun.
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http://www.hollywood-elsewhere.com/images/column/7108/tonight.pdf
or try
http://www.simplyscripts.com/2008/07/13/tonight-he-comes-hancock-script/
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the top link dosn't work. the bottom one does
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Too tired to think of a scene right now. So I’m gonna do a quick layout of where I see this going. Ok after the scene with where Hark is shot down by the board of trustees for more funding, shit starts to escalate real quickly. Then right afterward Hark becomes the talk of the town about his findings and what they mean, he’s all of the news and what not. A group of drifter dirty hippie folks who are all set to enjoy life until the end of the world, the outsider of the group (Woody) decides that he is going to find Hark and help him out. Meanwhile President Gloover is going crazy trying to figure out what to do, and all of the sudden there are reports of a ice storm about to rain down on the White House. A ice storm hits and mythological aliens are unleashed and President Gloover helps save people and defeat the monsters, and his VP valiantly gives his life to save him. Then there is a montage of batshit crazy stuff happening around the world “worst parts of the bible” stuff. Like a scene of Mayan people running to their temple and offering sacrifices, only to be drowned in a flash flood full of piranhas. And it turns out that it is all being done by God/Aliens. Haven’t figured out where to go from there. Such as a battle beaten humans and god/aliens. Or if god/aliens what to kind of reboot the Earth, or put Earth through these trials so only the toughest survive so a race of only the best can be made.
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on here. The sixth sense was, for me, OK. Nothing more. It certainly does not stand up to repeat viewings. Unbreakable was good, no arguments there. And then the slide begins. Signs was complete and utter shit. The amount of people that justify this cinematic garbage on the basis of Nights "talent", or because they thought they saw something profound is a complete mystery to me. You didn't see something clever, you really didn't. What you did see was a predictable, trite, plot hole beset piece of garbage. The villaige was my most hated film of that year. I refused to watch Lady, and will also not be watching the Happening. The vitriol aimed at him is very, very probably over the top. However, I honestly think it comes from 2 places- he is talented, and the shite he is producing is not worthy of his talent, and people are just sick of his smugness and arrogance. He needs to direct someone else's script (preferably non-supernatural, and without even a hint of a twist). If he did this and turned in a good effort then everyone would be rooting for him again.
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So far: Iron Man- liked it. Pleasantly surprised, RDJ excellent and film would not be good without him. Not second coming of Christ. Indy. Not good enough to defend, not bad enough to despise. I'm bored of even talking about it. Not Phantom Menace bad. Doomsday. Loved it. Mess. Will be bought and watched drunk. Rhona Mitra can't act but worth a fuck. Speed- No interest at all. Wall-E. I think I'm the only person in the Western hemisphere that doesn't give a shit about this. TDK- excited for. Hellboy 2- don't really care. Hancock/ Wanted: You'd have to pay me to watch them. The Mist: EXCELLENT. Really, really good.
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Iron Man-Dang good-has outsold Indy/Spielberg.
Indy-I should watch at bargain matinee-however my parents said it was meh.
Doomsday-Marine Corps buddy dragged me too watch it-Was great exactly because it was a drunken, violent mashup. Global Warming=The proliferation of cannibalism, Gimps and sword fights :-)
The Happening-I actually enjoyed it, if only for that one scene which was worth price of admission alone.
Hulk-Finally some decent throwdowns but too much yacking, not enough smashing.
Hancock-First half Stellar, last half meandering-no villian or closure.
Hellboy 2-I say it edges Iron man for being slightly more visionary and faster paced.
Wanted-Love timur/angelina-but was too derivative of Fight Club.
The Mist-Yup-excellent, better than the novella.
Generation Kill (HBO)-looks like it'll be amazing-first episode was subdued, but at same time brutal and over the top. Tons of memorable scenes-pretty much apolitical.
Kit Kittredge-Best movie ever made-literally second Coming of...ha ha just kidding! (Could be this year's "Little Miss Sunshine-he he couldn't resist).
Sunshine-Danny Boyle's Sci Fi from last year still best sci-fi movie in last 10 years-even with a few logic flaws.
That is all...
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that may be because I haven't seen it through lazyness.
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Or is it time to go and play in the Batman pool?
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and make a jump...Batman is going to be a flamewar eventually..let's avoid that. My suggestion is find the Outlander talkback and propel it upwards. Show people somewhere there is some interest in that flick, so we can see it.
Or we make this a Talback roadshow and jump over to the brand NEW 2012 talkback..carrying our script with us...and keep doing this until the movie gets released. -
I have a feeling the Batman pool is going to get pretty deep in the next day or two. It will also look like the backyard pool in Poltergiest by the time everyone gets done gnashing teeth at each other.
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I'll take it as a compliment. At least I don't bash films I haven't even seen, chief. When TBers like you jump on the bandwagon and shit on something without even seeing it make this site a trial at times. and your the opposite extrme as me if anyhting. sixth Sense doesn't stand up t orepeat viewings? Signs was complete shit? Ok man.
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was just bored to tears. did i miss anything? i doubt it.
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I say we head into the new 2012 talkback. I can only argue about Batman and Christopher Nolan for so long. Eventually, my feelings will get hurt...
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But Fred can't wait to jump in Batman pools! Fred pulling every string Fred have to get friends press pass to see screening tonight. So far, it not working. Fred may have to sell a kidney to raise enough cash.
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I liked Jonah's first suggestion about Outlander talkback. There is enough to talk about there to carry it upwards. Dragons and Vikings? Nice. Although making it number one would be almost a miracle.
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the first two chunks of ammended script to the new 2012 talkback..Lets go...Ill look into Outlander later..
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Jul 15, 2008 9:03:47 AM CDT
Topics are best when they are organic and spontaneous
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
This TB became so because the B movie talk, and it took off.We just need to find a second spark. A second geek love. What do film geeks love? While Fred liked the script, it did not have enough broad appeal like B movie love. We need, Babes, Zombies, Zombie babes. Babe zombies? Old movies -Fred old movie fan. Fred stick around - but Batman calling
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Jul 15, 2008 9:15:29 AM CDT
Did someone mention lost TB went to 10,000?
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
That is unfathomable. We are barely at 2400. Those some dedicated geeks.
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And it was 99% on topic. And we went at least 2-3,000 more posts on another TB after 10,000 posts fried the original TB.
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Jul 15, 2008 9:28:54 AM CDT
Fred watched one episode of Lost - only one
by freds_balls_in_a_mason_jar
Fred just could not get into it. But Fred also not much of TV geek. Fred like movies and books. Fred not even watch BSG that often. Fred like instant gratification. Maybe watch marathon episodes someday.
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Lost is a serialization that is best viewed in bulk. There are two seasons left. I suggest you wait and then rent them commercial and hiatus free. Out of curiosity, what episode did you watch?
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The only continuing stories Fred ever liked were in comic books and novels.
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but I'm more than prepared to give Signs and the Village some stick. And I never, ever give stick to films I have no knowledge of. I also don't defend everything that my favourites turn out. Funnily enough, I tried to watch lost and didn't like it. Which is strange, because it hits all the boxes that I usually like.
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If you didn't like the pilot that's suspect, but I would reserve judgement until you see the third episode "Walkabout." If that doesn't do it for you than you might as well pack it in.
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I didn't say the Sixth Sense was bad, because it isn't. But I tried watching it again, knowing the twist and honestly didn't enjoy it at all. Some bits still grabbed me as great, and I'm not saying it is a work of hackitude, but really on rewatching it was pretty bland.
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I saw the pilot, then the second and then I think I saw the 5th. My biggest let down was Heroes, which I started loving and then grew to hate.
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I want to like it, I really do. And I don't understand why I don't- I usually fucking love this shit, and worshipped Twin Peaks. But it just didn't grab me enough to make me stay in and watch.
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Yes, I watch every episode when they air, but geez it seems lithe there is a commercial every two seconds. I say rent or borrow the seasons on dvd so far. That way they can be viewed commercial-free and in order.
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Fred loved watching Prisoner - on DVD. One, not too many episodes. Two, they were all available to watch in few viewings. Fred not like soap operas. Fred think Lost and Heroes are soaps for geeks. But geeks need soap too!
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seriously beyond lame. Hopefully the next series will be better.
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Walkabout still stands as one of the top 5 episodes of the series. It flashes back to the pre-island life of John Locke. It has a reveal that will leave you haunted and breathless. And the third season finale has, without exaggeration, one of the greatest twists in television history, which is a big reason for the success of the 10,00 post TB. If you guys are ever inclined I would give it another shot on DVD. No doubt it's best experienced that way. I'm excited for Season 5. Supposedly it will be really starting to pull the veil back from the Dharma Initiative, though you guys have no idea what that is most likely. This year's ComicCon has a fake global recruiting seminar for the DI. Cool stuff.
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Something about Kring has listened to the fans and will tighten things up? Wonder if he ever came to a Hereos talkback on here. Wow that show got ripped a new one in the second season. I had my first Heroes letdown in the Season 1 finale. Hasn't really grabbed back, but I still watch every week to keep up in case it gets good again. Sigh.
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but I have some shlock to catch up on first. I've got some time off so am going to get all of series one on DVD and work through it. If it grabs me then I'll gladly move through the rest of it. I've forgotten what night channel 4 did show it on originally here, but it was a night that I'm usually out on.
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It was fuedal so-cal that lost me. And the fucking horrid Oirish accents.
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That is one of the best I've seen on tv ever. I watched two more times that weekend on ABC's website.
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Let me count the ways Heroes sucks ass. It's slick-ass NBC teeny bopper bullshit that doesn't deliver 95% of the time. Fucking terrible. Lost, while having soap-opera-like moments, also has a DEEP mythology that is truly unique and engaging. This mythology is intricately explored in the show, but also through inter-season alternate reality online games and webisodes. But the show also smartly lets the characters drive the plot as much as the mythos. It's richly textured in that respect. To say nothing of the high production values, superb writing, and wonderful acting of the show. the show is now ful lthrottel, as well thanks to set end date. It's really zipping along at this point, but not at the expense of the story or charcaters.
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HoboCode - is there a site that provides breakdowns - spoilers too, of all lost episodes?
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is the UK TV network that originally had Lost before that grasping cunt Murdoch bought it.
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It has some pretty good content if you want to just read through and get the gist what is happening.
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see you later chaps.
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It has detailed synopses of every episode and transcripts for each one as well.
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You can also watch the episodes there. in HD to boot. If you see something that grabs you on Lostpedia, just head over to ABC and check it out. I highly recommend the show.
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I would say the top 5 Lost episodes are:
1. Through the Looking Glass (S3 finale)
2. The Constant (Ep. 4.5)
3. Walkabout (Ep. 1.3)
4. The Shape of Things to Come (Ep. 4.9)
5. The Man Behind the Curtain (Ep. 3.20)
I could easily put others in there like Live Together Die Alone, Orientation, Two For the Road, The 23rd Psalm, The Other 48 Days, The Man From Tallahassee, The Brig, Cabin Fever, Exposé, Flashes Before Your Eyes, Not in Portland, There's No Place Like Home, Confirmed Dead, Special, Numbers, Confidence Man, Maternity Leave, A Tale of Two Cities, Greatest Hits, The Economist.
All brilliant. -
Only difference is I would have to give the top spot The Constant. I literally wanted to stand up up and cheer at the end. Good gosh that was an amazing ep. Desmond and Pen-Pen have proved to be great characters. Brotha...
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Though Walkabout was the one that made me a LOST fan. That early and already turning things on their head, and creating memorable and emotionally engaging characters. I mean that ep has so much impact that without it, there would be much less weight and impact and interest to that final shot of Season 4's finale. Agreed?
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I watched it, uninterested, and then became interested, only to get to the end of the season and be let down, and then flat out bored when it returned. Whereas Lost, I caught the first ep, and have been fan for the entire journey thus far. And Ill be there when it comes back to continue along.
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Agreed on Walkabout. No matter what Locke does from now on, that one episode has given me enough sympathy and understanding of what he is going through that I can somehow relate. Amazing how one ep can do that for a character. That shows how good it was.
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Fred check it out
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it's all about making interesting and sympathetic and relatable(at least at some level) characters. Let's face it. That's why stuff like X-Files was always so good. I liked Mulder and Scully and would follow them through all sorts of nonsense as a result. Lets face it, the real reason seasons 8 and 9 were not capable of being saved is because it completely tore that relationship, and those characters into shambles.
With Heroes, there were very few relatable, realistic characters(in their behaviour and motivations).
Though Im not looking to add another show or shows to my current list of stuff I watch regularly(right now it's just Lost and The Office) Im hoping that Fringe is strong in character. -
Fred just not into TV
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Yeah I find it hard to identify or sympathize with his character at times because he's simultaneously reverent, but also possibly disturbed and much too prone to manipulation. It's hard to see the forest through the trees. But I do cautiously sympathize with him considering the shit he's been through. Ben is the same way only he's the manipulator and not the manipulatee, which makes him a psychopath, but also sympathetic on some levels because of what he has had to do to appease the island.
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I'm cautiously optimistic. I've heard good things about the pilot and JJ is supposedly going to be intricately involved, but it also sounds like an X-Files rehash and is written by the master scribes behind Bayformers.
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never will. Guess it's just me fighting the current, but I'm like Fred in that way: tv shows just don't interest me anymore. I'd much rather throw in a movie.
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Jul 15, 2008 1:02:47 PM CDT
I should amend that by saying that I loved JourneyMan
by just pillow talk
and they fucked me over.So tv can fuck off.Bastards.
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That one I felt deep when it was canceled. I was never into TV but lately I'm starting to prefer it to films. Don't get me wrong. I love movies and always will, but TV is so easily digestable and time-friendly with it's half hour to hour-long increments. That and I've been falling in love with what I feel is top-notch quality television in the last several years. Lost, Mad Men, Deadwood, The Wire, BSG. t stil lrequires a lot of sifting but there's some nuggets in there.
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Guilty pleasure is Burn Notice. That was one tough Cadillac last week. Also loved it when he said it takes even greater skill to shoot and miss someone and make it look good. She then shot right through his legs.
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There will be great early season match-ups. Including Ohio State at USC on Sept. 13
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Man, the flaming could jump start the sun. People were screaming for each other to:
Eat Aids and Die
Stick a gun in their mouth and pull the trigger
That wasn't even the worst stuff. Damn. -
So yeah first day back at work after the fire. And I guess we're going for it. We converted a warehouse to an office. But no cubes just tables with computers and they put me in the most visible one....so no more AICN posting for awhile, during the day anyway. Sucks. Fucking work, trying to make me earn my paycheck.
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take over the new 2012 thread?
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to brad about the rotation of the earth making tdk open in cinemas here in about an hour. yay rotation of earth!
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is anyone still talking about this movie in this talkback/
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And saw Cloverfield and got annoyed by Hud the cameraman trying to make dumb jokes. Well it turns out that he is a stand up comedian. Didn't know that.
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He was the son of one of the Carpooler main characters. His name was Marmaduke. I shit you not. He was funnier there than in Cloverfield.
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I always thought it was so dumb for JJ to spurt out in a Rolling Stone interview 'oh yeah the bombing eventually kills the monster. It's dead.'
What. The. Fuck.
The guy thrives on secrets and hints in order to keep the fans guessing and he just throws this out there so matter of factly? The interview wasn't really about Cloiverfield. That fucking chapped my ass to no end. Like he was just washing his hands of it. Wonder what he'll say after Star Trek?
Four months after Ster Trek comes out on DVD...'Oh yeah, Spock and Kirk eventually go space fishing one weekend and get killed.' -
Ain't It Cool News, the TV show, was great as well.
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We can finish the story?
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It took over half an hour to get through. Amazing! It was like looking into the Guardian of Forever. Kudos!
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How is it that Beaks doesn't know who these people are? Maybe I could see not knowing who Oliver Platt is, but how the hell do you mistake Woody Harrelson for anyone other than Woody Harrelson?
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