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Waves On The Himalayas! We've Got A Teaser For Roland Emmerich's 2012!!!
Beaks here...
I did not lie to you. Roland Emmerich has found that next-level stupid with his latest "end of the world" sci-fi opus, 2012, and it only begins with a tsunami laying waste to Tibet.
Click here to see what I'm on about, and pretend you're not amped for July 10, 2009.
In case you're wondering, here's the official plot summary from the IMDb:
With the Mayan calendar ending in 2012, a large group of people must deal with natural disasters such as volcanic eruptions, typhoons and glaciers.
The "large group of people" includes John Cusack, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Thandie Newton, Amanda Peet, Oliver Platt, Woody Harrelson and Danny Glover.
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who doesn't love a good world destruction flick?
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I'm still scraping that film out of my eyes.
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Who would've thought anyone would every rip off that trailer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Chq_92_KXU -
That was my answer the minute the retarded teaser question was asked. Why the fuck would they?
Man, looks cheap and shit and goofy and not in a cheap japo 60's trash flick way either.
For some reason I expected Sean William Scott and Chow Yun Fat to jump from the monastry away from the wave.
In closing...Not pretending to not be amped. -
Nov 12, 2008 10:45:04 PM CST
As long as someone give us the next "Awww, HELLLL Nawwwww!"
by yotzvonfrelnik
Chiwetel Ejiofor? Danny Glover, maybe? I'll accept one from Woody. It sure ain't gonna be Cusak.
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That is gonna be AWESOME! I love end of the world movies.
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it was me. TOTAL FUCKING DESTRUCTION.
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Good one, Beaks!
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Sorry, couldn't resist.
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I was just noticing that blatant "Shining trailer turned up to eleven" shit myself. What a cheap, "size does matter" kind of a stunt. Fucking philistines.
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Maybe he needed the money?
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Personally, I'd like to see the surviving members of Monte Python do this script. It'd kill at the box office.
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http://tinyurl.com/5uesrb...talk about a disaster
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you think we'll get to Washington, it won't be there?
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jackoff enjoyment in terms of stupid ass movies, 2012 would be me in front of pics of Jessica Alba and Marylin Monroe in a sloppy bj contest.
That's called an excellent metaphor, btw.
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the whole..."look it up yourself, it's real!" is kind of lame. I mean we don't really want to fuel the fire of nonsense that is 2012, right? What's next, Buddha reincarnated?
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she wants to stand on top of the mountain and scream "OK GOD...LET ME HAVE IT"..
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The old CGI ocean effect again. Except instead of a city, now it's mountains.
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Nov 12, 2008 11:37:26 PM CST
Enterprise's ugly ass new warp nacelles = Waves on the Himalayas
by zillabeast
But more importantly, fix that "neck." Move that shit forward where its supposed to go.
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"I do not think it means what you think it means."
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Nov 12, 2008 11:39:12 PM CST
Razor Ramon aka Scott Hall should have been cast as the Punisher
by randysavage
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I know it's a silly Emmerich movie, but that doesn't even make sense at all. you can't take a pint glass fll of water, and pour it into a pitcher to make it overflow. there's not enough fucking water! maybe the mammoths did it. god, what a fucking moronic director. wouldn't you feel like an asshole if you made movies like this for a living?
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10 points for great movie quotes.
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I still won't rent 10,000 BC... or any other years - 1492, 1776, 1215, 1812 - Emmerich tries to tackle.
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Use them wisely.
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One of the big deals about 2012 is that all of these things in the sky are going to line up just right - the celestial equator, the equator of the Milky Way, etc. I'm betting that the plot will have combined gravitational forces creating a massive tide that pulls the oceans up over the Himalayas. Those same forces will then threaten to tear the Earth itself apart, but just at the right moment, the Large Hadron Collider will create the black hole everyone's been dreading, which will pull the earth back together, then mysteriously snuff out of existence. Then we'll be treated to heart warming scenes of people from various cultures decked out in their tribal best running outside, waving flags, which will cause us to all pause and reflect on "why can't we all just get along?"
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Phew!
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I wonder if it is gonna be a gravity thing or a big ass asteroid impact... it seems like the only two things that could push a wall of water that far inland and that high. ( not that Emmerich ever worried about silly things like physics before!)
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As apposed to what? Alta vista? Ask.com? Yahoo? Does anyone ever use those sites anymore? Well we all know Yahoo is big in japan.
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It's called The Hitchhikers Guide To The Galaxy.
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This is really dumb. What makes this different from Day After Tomorrow? Volcanos, and that's it. very lame.
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My bad.
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Just saw it now. I was thinking the music was a bit eerie and cerebral for a Roland Emmerich film. I guess it was.
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Rush's seminal sci-fi rock opera brought to life! WE ARE THE PRIESTS OF THE TEMPLE OF SYRINX!!! You know you want it...
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I made it maybe 20 minutes and woke up for umm the credits. Though 10,000 BC was fucking awesome but it could have been SOOOO much better. They should have made the bad guy the alien from Stargate. And more Mamoth action.
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...after the first 40 minutes of The Patriot. That vow has served me quite well.
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ok...when is the ratt gonna remake it?
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Because I dont think I'm divin' under it.
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His other was Stargate, and he needed help with that one.
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That was John Cusak flushing what little of a career he had left down the shitter.
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Emmerich is not one. "This is Jesus, Emmerich, and you've been a very naughty boy."
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Does anyone make positive movies anymore? Every blockbuster movie is a downer.
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Yay @ the Religion of Goreism!
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You know the Chinese are masters of Tsunami-Fu.
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i want asteroids, aliens, earth falling out of orbit, and nuclear explosions damnit!!!!
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won't it be out dated in 2013. He's gonna look kinda funny when this doesn't happen.
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Nov 13, 2008 12:41:56 AM CST
IT UNCLOGS THE DRAIN OR ELSE IT GETS THE TIDAL WAVE AGAIN
by ryanmurray
IT UNCLOGS THE DRAIN OR ELSE IT GETS THE TIDAL WAVE AGAIN
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just show an hour and a half of the world being destroyed in various ways, that would be more fun.. sure it will be soulless, but then all of his movie are, and at least he wont have to pretend that the 'human' plot/story makes any sense, and we wont have to sit though the 'plot' we can just sit back and watch shit blows up real good.im really only half joking. as ridiculous as seeing a tidal wave crest over a mountain range is, that was pretty cool visual. the only reason we're all hating on this already is that we know once we see the 'plot' were going to be pissed off.
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one sentence could have avoided the inane 'apple virus' problem in ID4. they said earlier in the film that they were using our own satellites against us to organize their countdown. not to get all 'thank you for smoking'-producer about it but just throw in a, "we can use our own satellites programming to give them a virus!"... done. still silly, but not as.
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It would be outdated sure, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy 1984 or 2001: A Space Odyssey. Besides 2012 only marks the end of the current Mayan calender, they didn't live long enough to make the 2013 edition. Damn Spaniards.
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That's the real problem with the world today. Every day I hear from yet another asshole, wondering out loud if the world is going to end in 2012, because of something they read on the internet.
Why are people so god damn stupid, and why is it illegal to KILL THEM? -
You are right! i mean, he got it so right with 10,000BC afterall. I shouldn't judge. :P
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There have always been people who thought the end of the world was coming, some during their own lifetimes. And you're right, all they've met was stunning reality with *gasp* continued existence. As I said in my last post 2012 only marks the end of the mayan calender, which in turn marks the end of the current solar/astronomical cycle. The Mayans were excellent astronomers (as were the ancient Egyptians). But to point to Dec 21, 2012 as the exact moment of Earth's demise is a bit ludicrous. But if it's true, then Obama better not be planning for a successful second term.
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This shit pile is going to be pure fucking entertainment from end to end.
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Ha! That made me chuckle. They can't even be bothered to put an official website address on the teaser. "Aaah, just fucken google search it morons."
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and roland makes great popcorn movies with some pretty spectactular set pieces and even though 10,000BC was shoite, it was still watchable for the mammoth & pyramid building scenes
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Nov 13, 2008 2:31:29 AM CST
Who cares when AVATAR is fucking our eyeballs in 2009?
by motoko kusanagi
nobody
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all that water over the himalayas.
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I swear I didn't hit post!
anyway, I don't think anyone's trying to deliver their dissertation to the Nobel Foundation here - it's a friggin popcorn movie ok?
some mildly amusing entertainments humbly submitted for your viewing pleasure... watch it. don't watch it. whatever. I'm not expecting anyone's life to be dramatically changed after watching this - it's just, like someone above suggested, A CHANCE TO WATCH SHIT BLOW UP!
that right there is the reason I will be filling a seat in a movie theatre with my bum when this is released
sheesh! -
Another badly written and directed movie with some cool fx shots.
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But until then, they already cashed in tickets, dvds, and tv. Thank you, Mayans!
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Meanwhile, in Anchorage, Sarah Palin's standing on her desk, eyes closed, doing that "Jesus Antenna" thing with her arms and waiting for the Lawd to rapture her outta this mess...
But she's just as screwed as the Dalai Lama...all along it was some badass Mayan Corn God you should have been worshipping. Buy yourself a bushel and get right with Him, before it's too late. Green Giant doesn't count. -
You're absolutely right. The only reason I see a movie like this is for the visuals- why not just remove the retarded plot? I'd gladly pay 10 bucks to see nicely rendered calamities for 2 hours. As long as Bill Pullman isn't the president.
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oh, wait.
having been to the himalayas, that looked improbably stupid. -
minus the quaid and with danny glover saying "IM TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT!"
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Nov 13, 2008 3:55:29 AM CST
Why is that guy bothering to ring the bell?
by i_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looking_for
What a fruitless exercise that is.
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Talk about a missed opportunity. That would have justified lifting the audio from the Shining trailer (blood pouring down the hall). It also would have been SCARY AS HELL.
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Someone should edit this video with American Psycho. Put Christian Bale screwing those two hookers on top of the mountain and then cut to him pointing at the ocean as it comes for them.
Who want's to die ringing a bell?? And wouldn't that ocean be deafeningly loud enough to forgo said bell warning.
I know what happened. That Monk punked Moses and ran off with his cane. This is Moses way of saying fuck fucking you. -
At least he knows he's making rubbish, unlike Len Wiseman, Brett Ratner, Michael Bay, Stephen Sommers and McG.
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Much more scary than some red dyed sea.
Our Bells can't repel Cum of that magnitude! -
10,000 BC was still a smelly wet fart, though.
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We know Harry has Jim's email, so how 'bout it Harry?
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Nov 13, 2008 6:15:51 AM CST
disaster movies, god love em good or bad they are still fun....
by j2talk
so I might have to check this out....plus Roland's got reality helping out his marketing now...we got a black president and we all know what that means- jut ask The Daily Show........
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Nov 13, 2008 6:33:48 AM CST
So they've already put this into Disaster Movie 2 then?
by monkey butler
Let me guess, Katy Perry takes a massive dump, and the pressure needed to flush the toilet causes a massive tsunami, causing the Watchmen to be washed from the top of the Himalayas while shouting out "save us". Rorschach survives and whispers "no". Cut back to Katy Perry who looks into the camera and says "my bad". The audience goes wild, because "Hey! I've seen the trailers for those movies, and that chick totally kissed a girl and liked it!"
I think writing that just killed me a little inside. -
But at least you're now eligible for a four-movie deal at Fox Movies. Hey, they'd kill for that shit!
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thats right the ancient satan is coming back around riding his giant planet NIBIRU and hes making a stop at Earth again, this time were all getting bummed by alien lizard gods, fuck it, at least ill have seen AVATAR by 2012, I hope. AVATAR SPONKING ON YOUR EYEBALLS 2009
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However what is worrying is that astronomers have found that the layer around the sun is shrinking and that means that the Suns UV rays will increase thus bombarding the earth with stronger UV Rays ie Bigger amounts of Radiation. Astronomers say it is happening a lot quicker than they thought.
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Enterprise looks fine. ;)
Sounds like these guys finally just threw the characters out the window instead of writing badly drawn ones. When the summary includes people only via the word, "people" how much human interest could there be?
I kind of enjoyed The Day After Tomorrow, though. But, see, those characters worked on a sort of cornball level that wasn't crazy unrelatability (yes, made that word up just now) like Godzilla or ID4. In the end TDAT was enjoyable because a dad risked everything to save his son who was doing his part to survive. See? That's a shoddy summary, but ten times more gripping than 2112 right?
Maybe there's a secret story in here that I could care about, and I hope for EVERY movie to be good, but... I remember some sort of synopsis from way back and... it's not a good memory. -
...and was 10,000 BC really that bad?
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If you can't cite a decent source, then you're just one more crazy end-of-the-world person on the internet.
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The reason they want you to google search it isn't to convince you that it's real, but to get you to click on their "sponsored link" which goes to a fake lottery that will save members of humanity, Deep Impact style. It's just another little marketing thing. You'll see it if you type in 2012 in google under the "Sponsored Links" page.
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It's a Sci-Fi Channel movie with a budget. Always happy to cough up the money to watch everything get blown to hell.
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The guy knows how to make his audience feel tiny as hell. He knows scale. He did it with the British armies in The Patriot, he did with the spaceships in ID4, he did it with the weather in Day After Tomorrow... You can't tell me you guys didn't get a few chills from seeing waves coming over what I presume may be Everest. That being said, I will see this in the theater only, because that's what kind of movie it is.
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Haa haa... this is great. Ridiculous over the top special effects with a variation on the same old story.. how can we not take it "not seriously" and not watch it... and how do not like a sentence with so many nots in it? Knotty, eh??
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A big wide shot of the Earth, seen from space. All of a sudden, out of the side of the frame, a giant space-tsunami (with surfers on it) swallows up the entire planet. How's THAT for global warming!
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And you know I'm right. We always get wowed by the teasers and trailers for this guy's flicks, and then we see a movie that blows.
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10,000 B.C. was complete garbage. The only Emmerich film that was boring. Everyone who saw it and eventually gets Alzheimer's will be grateful.This looks gloriously retarded though. Can't wait.
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is the modern day Irwin Allen. But in his defence at least he brings a touch of spectacle to his pictures.
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OK, I am officially DISGUSTED with the trailer industry, trailer editors, trailer producers and DICKWAD studio marketing execs !
"We'll try slipping this Shining music past those motherfuckers... it's so old, no one will know."
How the fuck do you use Stanley Kubrick music in a fucking Roland Emmerich film? Who's fucking sick joke idea is that?
Let me let you guys in on a little secret... most of the readership of this site has a more comprehensive knowledge of film than the people making this crapola. There are trailer editors who have not even fucking SEEN the Shining !! I shit you not.
Storm the gates! Kill every last one of them! -
And I can't even tell you what the fuck it was about. That was the most forgettable piece of shit I had to sit through.
I will be skipping this, along with every other Emmerich movie henceforth. -
ridiculous? yes. AWESOME? FUCK YEAH!!!
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A vast fucking money-hole of useleessness.
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Yep.
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was there a "cross-over" with Stargate? I heard a rumour that there was going to be a sort of cross-over, in that 10,000 B.C. would feature a cameo by Ra or something.
Did it happen? -
Not impressed.
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You saw Indy going over the mountains in the army vehicle yet again. Marion is still smiling too.
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With 10,000 BC Harry made the salient point that buying a ticket is worth it, just to cast a vote for original content. At the least, Devlin and Emmerich keep using non-adaptation, non-remake scripts. For that reason alone, I'll be there. Looks like this time I'll enjoy it, too!
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is yet another sign of the coming apocolypse. Who keeps letting this guy make nothing but disaster movies. He makes the best disaster movies because they're pure disasters themselves. ID4 was a bit of cheesey fun, but I'll never forgive the Godzilla debacle. Oh, wait, he turned that into a disaster movie, too, only with a giant irradiated iguana. STOP IT! STOP IT! STOP IT! AAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!
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I figured since these guys use the most mundane cardboard cutouts of character types that they'd just do away with the script and actors completely and just make fictional documentaries of nature's destruction.Hey, you could get one of the actors to narrate!
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2525: If man is still alive. I could not resist.
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It's Roland's best film. Of course it has more do with Mel Gibson, Tom Wilkonson, Robert "Private Ryan" Rodat, Caleb Deschanel and John Williams but still—it's Roland's best film.
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That's what people said about THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW when the 10,000 B.C. trailer was released.
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...I'm not unconvinced that the Himalayan tsunami is a result of Danny Glover's increasingly more-pronounced Sylvester the Cat speech impediment. I heard they had to sponge Mark Wahlberg and Kate Mara off between takes in SHOOTER.
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This at does at least look like nice eye candy and I do love a disaster movie.
It's probably not going to have the greatest script but at least it's got some good actors in the roles. For me though it's going to be the CGI that will be the star of the movie.
I thought the trailer was quite eerie and I love the imagery. I'll see this at the IMAX or if not on Blu-Ray.
Sometimes a movie can be nothing but big dumb spectacle. I'd argue that Die Hard is kinda in that catagory.
I guess I'm probably gonna get flamed now for voicing a different opinion. Oh well. -
This movie needs Nicholas Cage!!!! His toupee can soak up the water and save us all. That toupee will be made from the pelts of the invincible CG wolves from The Day After Tomorrow.That or maybe the Bayformers will show up and help us out by using Optimus Prime's painted on flames to evaporate the water.
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Maybe the Himalayas are sinking!
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Schools Out. Ring the Bells.
Shits Gonna Get Fucked Until It Shines! -
The only one that I totally hated was 10,000 BC, which I think he directed via cell phone from the Virgin Islands while getting a blowjob.
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Clearly Roland needs some big help to take the next step to cheese. You need a decent 'name' actor that will just ham the screen the fuck up. Nic Cage is a good start. Hell, re-team him with Sam Elliot from the masterpiece Ghostrider.
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LMGTS - Let me get this straight. John Cusak, Danny Glover, Woody Harrelson - Sounds like a liberal's wet dream. The Mayan calendar...huh? Aren't they the people who disappeared..vanished and they are telling us when the world will end. Riiiiiiiight.
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Snow cone? Don't worry, it's lemon!
REMEMBER SAMMY JANKIS! -
SERIOUSLY. This guy has made nothing but shit through out his career. Uwe Boll should be scratching his head how this fool keeps getting money to make as many shitty movie as him and Paul WS Anderson. Geez!
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SERIOUSLY. This guy has made nothing but shit through out his career. Uwe Boll should be scratching his head how this fool keeps getting money to make as many shitty movie as him and Paul WS Anderson. Geez!
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You guys really never get tired of the same ole complaints? Really? You can cut and paste 95% of the posts in this thread into almost any TB. Yikes!
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you dont good to Emmerick's movies for the story- its the SFX.....course I did enjoy The Day After Tomorrow ,Godzilla and Independence Day- of course i read the novelizations first, that way i could fill in the missing story elements of the film...
Stargate and Moon 44 werent bad either -
Nov 13, 2008 2:23:08 PM CST
When I Google Search: 2012, I get a picture of Sarah Palin
by mr. profit
So I don't know if I should be scared or not.
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You're taking this too seriously. He makes popcorn movies. And he's actually made a few good ones.The Patriot is infinitely better than The English Patient and Crash and both of those turds won Best Picture Oscars. So Emmerich can hold his head high.
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Someone has made that Waterworld prequel we've all been waiting for.
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Because they have GOT to be kidding.
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...is what really happens. If you're making a movie this over the top stupid, you have to go with something like that. Complete with "pulling the earth" together metaphors from the main characters. As a side note, 10,000 BC was the only movie i've ever fallen asleep in.
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however i dont feel the movie will follow suit...haha whos seen The Core?
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OMFG, the end is near, I gotta buy something!
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if you look closely enough you can see bobbing up and down, surfing over the top of that wave a tiny little FRIDGE!
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a pole reversal end-of-days!
about time they tackled this issue, i cant wait to hear their "scientific" explanations ... -
I'm thinking a fridge should be digitally inserted into movies now. Just imagine if Ripley and Newt were sleeping in a fridge in Alien 3, they would still be alive.
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While I don't think the trailer is cool, was The Core sufficiently stupid and worth a rental?
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...consider: it's the only movie in the world where Mel Gibson almost constantly fucks up redcoats with a tomahawk and KILLS A HORSE WITH AN AMERICAN FLAG. What the fuck do you want from a movie if not that? Seriously, it's like that Simpsons version of Mr. Smith Goes to Washington come to life.
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Just my 2 cents but I think The Core is most definately a guilty pleasure as it really is an entertaining B-movie with it's tounge planted firmly in cheek.
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Hmmm. I sense a missed opportunity for some good advertising because of typical Hollywood impatience.
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Granted the book was dumb as a post but I was thoroughly entertained. Nice standoff at the end, too.
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and 10,000 BC was not that bad. Watch it like you would watch Beastmaster and you'd enjoy it. Not to mention it has Camilla Belle - she can do no wrong!!!!
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I can't quite decide yet, but that shot has me leaning towards gloriously stupid. I so long for the return of his gloriously stupid movies.
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Film Abortion, how does this guy get work? what does he have to do? Direct a couple Batman movies to be trounced out of Hollywood.
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Wanna see about directing a movie together? We could come up with a summer blockbuster and make millions. After all, if people will pay to see 2012...
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whaaaaat?
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