2 Reviews Of 300 To Snack On Before You Dine In Hell!!

Merrick here...
As you're (no doubt) aware, 300 opens today. We've run a few reader reviews (including Massawyrm's write-up) from early screenings - but, for some reason, we've not posted a great deal about the film's actual release version. Here are two reviews of the film - one decidedly "pro", the other "lukewarm". The "pro" review is written by a true-blue Geek for whom I have a great deal of respect (and with whom I generally tend to agree). Ironically, in this instance, I tend to agree with the "lukewarm" review more (as well as the Massawyrm review linked above) - and thought it was important to share this uncommon perspective with readers. By the way, even though I had mixed feelings about the movie, if there's any way you can catch 300 in IMAX - I'd strongly encouage you to do so. There are some genuinely awesome visuals that would be breathtaking when outsized. CLICK HERE to see if an IMAX theater in your area is hosting the film. With that, here are the reviews. First: the "pro" from my man Electric Dreams:

Hey there, just got out back from a screening of 300 tonite. Not sure if anyone has posted fan comments about the film, but wanted to share none the less. Overall it was magnificent, graceful and bloody as hell. I have to say, some of the best flesh penetrating effects I've seen, and I've seen my share of films like Gladiator, Alexander, LOTR, King Arthur, Troy, etc. The puncturing of the flesh, the spearing of bodies, just very realistic. Of course someone needed to tell the effects guys to put some blood on the blades of the swords of the Spartans during the bloodiest of scenes. It was amusing to see them slaughter Persian after Persian and have clean swords after piercing and slicing thru flesh. The film was highly detailed in costumes, props and wounds. Images up close were clear as crystal, yet the background were always soft, blurred and colorful. A few scenes where we see the main character of King Leonidas standing overlooking the ocean, or the battleground before him, we'd just see his back, but it looked as if we were seeing the rear of SUPERMAN. I guess it was the dark black hair and the red cape, but it was symbolic in the fact that Leonidas was in fact a "Superman" to his troops and in the eyes of the enemy. At one point though the film suddenly turned into Stargate. King Leonidas gos to meet Xerxes, who comes down from his palacial throne with large Egyptian looking statues surrounding him, and he not only resembles RA, but speaks with the deep gargly voice of the G'aould, I was just awaiting his eyes to glow! (but they didnt). Then Dominic West who plays Theron, well I thought it was me until 3 other people behind us in the theater mentioned it when the lights came up, but he sure looked alot like a long haired Mark Wahlberg. The scene of young Leonidas and the wolf was just one the coolest and most bad ass snarling beast vs man confrontations I've seen on the big screen since maybe Aliens. There was a moment where I felt a flashback of Atreyu and the wolf messenger of the Nothing from "Neverending Story" and anyone who sees this movie will know exactly what I'm talking about! Overall. The film was non-stop action and it seemed almost too short. I was as thirsty for 20 more minutes as the Spartans were thirsty for 20 more Persians to conquer. Larry Fong and his 3 camera side by side Cinematography made the fight scenes flawless and so much more fun to watch. The dark overtones mixed with rich color really brought out the comic book feel that Frank Miller intended when he drew it, but to see it on the big screen was a real treat. Though I saw it for free tonite it will be well worth the money to see this again on the big screen and I cant wait to be blown away catching it on IMAX to. Next year pre-Oscar nod to Larry Fong for Best Cinematography and Best Director Zack Snyder is how I'll end this!!! Raaaaahhhhhh!!!!! -Electric Dreams.

Aiight. Here's the "lukewarm" from 30frames. This review features one of the collest AICN reviewer lines ever: "It was like a movie about Klingons made by Vulcans" . Great stuff. Here's 30frames.

I saw "300" at a press screening in Burbank last night. "300" is hard, strong and unrelentingly cruel. Does that sound like gay porn? Wait 'til you see the muscle dudes fighting in leather speedos, piercing each other with long spears until blood spurts like - well you get the point. "Hard and strong" was a repeated bit of dialogue in case you don't get the point. This movie does not mess around. The "look" you have seen in the trailers is amazing and it is even better on the big screen. The actors do an okay job in green screen world. Their biggest effort was doing 800 sit-ups and push-ups a day to be ready for the film. Even a middle aged "councilman" with a minor role had toga-defying pecs as big as anyone at my gym. And everyone was so serious. All the time. Every frame. Ser-i-ous. It was like a movie about Klingons made by Vulcans. Hard, violent and technically perfect but not necessarily engaging. On the upside, the fighting looks great. The stylization of the technique was fresh and exciting. There are wild characters, monsters and exotic warriors that are distinct and get just the right amount of screen time. You believe the "300 vs a million" part thanks to the "hard and strong" stuff. The bad guys are truly bad (managing to be just a bit scarier than the heroes) and there are some boobies. And the fighting looks great. Spartans love to fight. And talk about fighting. The whole "artificial world" look obviously distances the audience from the characters a bit. That is part of the deal, since they are never really "real" or anyone we engage with. I guess we are not supposed to care all that much anyway sense the Spartans are a humorless group of war-loving automatons. That being said ... The film-makers seem to WANT you to care because they have speech after speech about what it means to be a Spartan and how they will never give up and never surrender. Braveheart is an obvious predecessor here, but I cared much less about the Spartans. The movie is NOT too long, but the speeches make it feel longer than the 1:45 I estimate the film ran. The film has long speechy voice-over that run over much of the action. The film opens with a long narrated flashback to childhood sequence and ends with a speech before a battle. There is more speech-ing than fighting, or at least it felt that way. It's kind of like Spartan CSPAN and the speeches largely run together. Why is it so important to fight for Sparta? Because Sparta is free. They tell you that. A lot. Sparta=freedom. But the film opens with the story/scene of how all Spartan newborns are inspected by a priest for imperfections, defects or being too small. Spartan babies that don't make the grade are (we assume) killed. This is to ensure the fighting prowess (and perfect six-pack abs) of the Spartan army. This opening scene takes place on a cliff with a sea of discarded (baby?) skulls at the foot of it. This is "freedom?" These are the good guys. Fun, eh? After Braveheart, I wanted to run off, get a kilt and fight against the English. After 300, I want to make sure no Spartans get anywhere near me. They are just too hard and strong and they might start telling me about how great it is to be a Spartan. But I WOULD watch the trailer again. If you run this, call me "30frames."

In case you missed it on the front page, be sure to check out Harry's story about a subliminal WATCHMEN image ebmedded in a long-form 300 trailer!