ScoreKeeper here pouring molten love directly into your ears with a titillating soundtrack giveaway targeting all the hopeless (and helpless?) romantics around the geek world.

Has this ever happened to you...You meet a nice girl, take her out to dinner, she's showing interest in your company so you decide to escort her back to your place thinking you might enjoy a different kind of score for a change. As you gingerly walk her through the door she's instantly paralyzed at the sight of your wall-to-wall arrangement of mint-in-box STAR WARS action figures from 1977-2012, stacked display cases of original series STAR TREK dolls, complete collection of Marvel's Ultimate Spider-Man housed in custom monogrammed tinted acrylic pouches, autographed poster of metal bikini Leia — Before your next inhale, she tears out of the room incognito as if worried a casual acquaintance might spy her presence. You never see her again.

Don't despair. Your royal geekness may have been a liability with the ladies but it's time to turn that frown upside down and make it your mightiest strength.

I have in my possession five copies of instant love. The only vibrating tool you'll need to turn your walk-in birth-control room into a luscious lounge of sensual seduction.

What you need is the "Music From The Twilight Saga for Chamber Orchestra."

That's right. Next time you decide to bring a woman into your geek hole be sure you both can hear the tender strains of Carter Burwell, Alexandre Desplat, and Howard Shore swelling in the background. You can distract her eyes by using her ears to work you over. She'll swoon to the unforgettable themes of TWILIGHT (2008), NEW MOON (2009), and ECLIPSE (2010). The rest...is at least rated a few X's.

You're welcome.

So how do you gain access to the goods? Well, it's simple. Just send me an email to scorekeeper@aintitcool.com using the subject: TURN ME ON WITH TWILIGHT! and include your name, mailing address, a valid email address, and your favorite score to fuck to (not that I need any help or anything).

I'll stick all the entries into a soft pouch and pull out just in time to read five names. Those five names will each receive head-fulls of TWILIGHT music courtesy of BSX Records. By the way, all CDs are autographed by Dan Redfeld who arranged and conducted the music for chamber orchestra.

This CD doesn't blow. Job is easy.

The deadline for ultimate submission will be Sunday, April 15th, 2012, at 11:59pm PST. Only one entry per person at a time. International applications will be accepted in the rear. Duplicates will be discarded although I'm sure twins are a lot of fun.

Don't finish prematurely. Get up and get down today!

For more information including audio samples check out BuySoundtrax.com.

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