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Mr. Beaks Perforates WANTED

It's a bit of a stretch, but the bullet-curving, dome-popping, morality-flouting shenanigans so kinetically depicted in WANTED could be charitably explained away as a metaphor for young male empowerment. By wantonly murdering complete strangers at the whim of a fate-weaving loom (not a metaphor, unfortunately), James McAvoy's timid working stiff, Wesley Gibson, is simply engaging in a very bloody form of self-actualization. He's seizing the day by squeezing the trigger. Pol Pot would approve. In fact, if Pol Pot were still with us, he'd probably have a new favorite movie. Problem is, all that killing? It's not a metaphor; it's the goddamn text. More than wish fulfillment, it's a dipshit design for living pitched to all the disaffected bozos who spent their adolescence blowing up frogs and starting fight clubs. And it's oh so very well made that I fully expect a potential-deficient teenager to hit the slab with a bullet that "just... would... not... curve,... officer!" embedded in his Cro-Magnon skull before the year is out. So, please, if you've ever dreamed of killing all your problems away (or fervently believed in the prophesying power of your sweater drawer), do get in line posthaste for Timur Bekmambetov's WANTED. Loosely based on Mark Millar's graphic novel of the same name, Bekmambetov and his writers (Michael Brandt, Derek Haas and Chris Morgan) have jettisoned the comic's supervillain-as-protagonists hook in favor of a derivative, MATRIX-inspired narrative of self-discovery (which is a little like remaking YOJIMBO and crediting LAST MAN STANDING). In this telling, Wesley is a beat-down cubicle drone who pops anxiety medication like candy rather than confront his verbally abusive boss, his bitchy live-in girlfriend or his opportunistic best pal (who brazenly skips work to drill said girlfriend). But we forgive Wesley his schlubby demeanor because he owns up to it in a witty voiceover; after all, knowing you're a loser is the first step to, um, walking into a local drug store and getting saved by a disconcertingly hot Angelina Jolie from an unexpected assassination attempt. Beats getting bitten by a radioactive spider. After an invigorating chase sequence/shootout, Jolie, whose character is cleverly nicknamed "The Fox", whisks young Wesley off to a textile plant, where he's introduced to the stentorian Sloan (Morgan Freeman). It's here Wesley learns that a) his long-lost, recently-bodied father was one of the world's greatest hitmen, b) papa belonged to a fraternity of skilled killers dubbed "The Fraternity", and c) he can shoot the wings off of flies if Grammy Award-winning hip-hop artist Common holds a pistol to his head. This is a lot to digest, but rather than marvel at his heretofore unexploited trick shooting gifts, Wesley flees the plant for the emasculating comfort of his miserable home life because the hero must at first refuse the call to adventure. Of course, when Wesley returns to his lousy day job, he gets all empowered and speaks the awful truth to his boss. On his way out the door, he busts his ergonomic keyboard across his best friend's mug. "Fuck these underachievers; I can kill for a living!" But it's a little more complicated than that; before Wesley can take up a pistol and gun down the wicked from a safe distance like a man, he must first endure a training regimen that involves getting beaten by a burly bastard called "The Repairman" (we never see him fix so much as a toaster oven), slashed to ribbons by "The Butcher", and cock-teased by "The Fox". The damage Wesley absorbs would kill a normal man several times over; lucky for him, "The Fraternity" has a restorative bath house that heals all gaping wounds and shattered bones (so long as they aren't immediately fatal). Once Wesley learns to see "The Matrix", Sloan schools him in the history of "The Loom", which is... a loom that... weaves a code which is subsequently translated to reveal the name of the next evildoer to be dispatched? It's silly, but you go with it because Bekmambetov paces this film with a coherence and a confidence that was not at all present in NIGHT WATCH or DAY WATCH (which played like auditions for a studio directing gig in the first place). Wesley balks at his first assassination, wondering why he should trust a piece of fabric to tell him who needs executed. "Kill one, save a thousand," rationalizes "The Fox". And with that, Wesley's off on a righteous murder spree Bekmambetov has a great deal of fun staging Wesley's gravity-defying hits, and they're occasionally pulled off with enough visual panache to override their ludicrous implausibility (though flipping one's car over a limousine's sunroof for a killshot is easily the most labored action set piece since Milla Jovovich ran down a building in RESIDENT EVIL: APOCALYPSE). But the film's casual amorality ceases to be fun the minute the filmmakers hit Wesley with a crisis of conscience (turns out Sloan withheld a few crucial details about his pops). It's one thing for Bekmambetov to rip off Kurt Wimmer's grand finale gunfight from EQUILIBRIUM (albeit with a much poorer sense of action geography), but quite another to mimic THE MATRIX's third act whilst advocating the murder of possibly innocent human beings to attain a purer sense of enlightenment. I know... you're not supposed to think too deeply on this nonsense; well, if that's the case, give me Michael Bay and BAD BOYS 2. This pseudo-intellectual theater of idiocy needs nipped in the squib. Alas, WANTED is so seductive in its destructiveness that I can't imagine teenage boys rejecting it outright. The visual f/x (particularly the elaborate train wreck) are more seamless and inventive than anything in INDY 4, while Jolie gives a fascinatingly unhinged performance as a tatted-out object of desire harboring an unexplicated backstory that must be far more interesting than Wesley's (speaking of which, what's with the Inigo Montoya act when your father skipped town soon after you were born?). This is a surpassingly slick package of nihilism; it really is FIGHT CLUB bereft of that sinking feeling that someone's lampooning your white male angst. In other words, WANTED is a massive step back for cinema and, I'd argue, society. It's mainstreamed cruelty seeking to connect with the Texas Tower Sniper in all of us. "Six weeks ago, I was just like you." Seriously, if you identify with Wesley Gibson, do the world a favor: get castrated. Faithfully submitted, Mr. Beaks

Readers Talkback
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  • June 27, 2008, 12:42 a.m. CST


    by DanielPlainview


  • June 27, 2008, 12:43 a.m. CST


    by BLEST

    Don't care what he says, this will be a great flick.<p> On DVD!

  • June 27, 2008, 12:51 a.m. CST

    DAMN YOU, George Lucas!!!

    by Motoko Kusanagi

    Damn you to hell!!!

  • June 27, 2008, 12:52 a.m. CST

    This reviewer NUKED THE FRIDGE!

    by Motoko Kusanagi


  • June 27, 2008, 12:52 a.m. CST


    by Simon Moon

    I find it more than a bit ironic that Jolie works to bring peace to people in her real life, yet consistently makes violent films.

  • June 27, 2008, 12:53 a.m. CST

    Fuck You Mr. Beaks

    by Russman

    this looks fun. Don't force meaning into something that's there to appeal to our base instincts. It's spectacle entertainment. Turn your brain off. Turn it back on in the Fall when the deeper movies are released.

  • June 27, 2008, 12:56 a.m. CST

    Yeah, just like the Matrix copycat killings.

    by ColtCCO

    Remeber that? The early Oughties were a bloodbath as people tried to dodge bullets, and justified their shooting sprees, saying that the Redpills were just just potential agents. And then Fight Club, causing bitter, disaffected cublicle drones to commit random acts of anarchistic mayhem againts a repressive society. Oh, wait. None of that ever happened, because that's not how the world works. Shup up and enjoy the action movie, Beaks.

  • June 27, 2008, 12:58 a.m. CST

    I respect this review

    by Jackie Boy

  • June 27, 2008, 12:58 a.m. CST

    Nice Review

    by epevensie

    I'm always entertained when someone from AICN goes schoolmarm. But your sermonizing has only served to whet my appetite. Just can't get enough slick nihilism!

  • June 27, 2008, 12:58 a.m. CST


    by LargoJr

    And Angelina J is the sexiest tomboy NON-beanpole on the planet... even if she DID make out with her cousin and fuck that inveterate loser Billy Bob.

  • June 27, 2008, 1 a.m. CST

    Elaborate Train Wreck = metaphor?

    by Lord Oxley

    Devin Faraci's review called the film chaste. And a bent or broken weiner might do that.

  • June 27, 2008, 1:01 a.m. CST

    Did I Say There'd Be a Rash of Copycats?

    by mrbeaks

    I just said I wouldn't be surprised if *one* imbecile tries to curve a bullet around his pal. Trust me, I'm not blaming the filmmakers; I'm ridiculing the impressionable idiots they might inspire.

  • June 27, 2008, 1:03 a.m. CST

    Oh, and as far as the movie goes...

    by ColtCCO

    I saw the advance Screening in Knoville. Pretty good, flashy and somewhat contrived, but fun to watch over popcorn, with cool effects, and nifty action sequences. Reinvented Gunkata, and make it look almost as cool ,and alot grittier. It is not an anti-social subversive message to go kill people for the greater good (Neightborhood Watch Alliance "The greater good"), just standard summer fare with what's supposed to be a "wow, that's kinda deep" feel that will last halfway to the car in the thatre parking lot. You're giving Wanted way to much credit if you think it's got a "message" that's going to inspire murder.

  • June 27, 2008, 1:06 a.m. CST

    Thanks mrbeaks.

    by bod33

    Your review now makes me want to see this.

  • June 27, 2008, 1:11 a.m. CST

    "In other words, WANTED is a massive step back for cinema and, I

    by grungies

    Just as Transformers did not take us one step further toward Ass: The Movie (seriously, Vern, what the hell were you thinking there?), this is not going to harm society in any way shape or form. You sound like Jack Thompson suddenly gained the analytical skills of Jonathan Rosenbaum. By the way, nice analytical skills, but many of your points are laughably paranoid. Hey, screw Wanted! I'm gonna go play Grand Theft Auto IV! Morality has to be the most overrated criteria for cinema ever conceived. To hell with morality. I try to be moral every day of my life, would it kill me to root for James Cagney murdering his opponents every once in a while? (just to be clear, you did back up your opinion well, and I respect you as a reviewer, but if I go and see this and wind up liking it then, woop-de-doo! Jackshit has just been meant, and society is not hindered by a damn movie). Actually, I'm kind of offended by your words about teenage boys. I'm a teenage boy that has seen a few Ozu films, and two Bela Tarr works. Teenagers aren't as uniformly stupid as certain people trick themselves into thinking.

  • June 27, 2008, 1:15 a.m. CST

    Wasn't sure

    by Athanatos

    if I wanted to see this movie or not, your review just made this a DVD viewing for me, and as for someone trying to curve a bullet around his pal, you're right, it wouldn't surprise me either.

  • June 27, 2008, 1:18 a.m. CST

    A "REPAIRMAN" that actually doesn't repair!?!

    by The Marquis de Side 3

    GET CASTRATED, Hollywood! >=0p

  • June 27, 2008, 1:22 a.m. CST

    Copycats? Step back for cinema? Animal cruelty?

    by MaxG

    Apparently Mr. Beaks could have better spent his $10 buying a sense of humor.

  • June 27, 2008, 1:23 a.m. CST

    Thanks, Mr. Beaks...

    by monsterforge

    I'm glad at least one reviewer on here doesn't mind taking a massive dump on a movie that is, by all rights, a massive dump. Thanks again!

  • June 27, 2008, 1:25 a.m. CST

    this is scalia's favorite film

    by bacci40

    fucker has a hardon for killing and handguns...and it only took one option for millar to become a full born hollywood coke whore...ya mark, they barely changed your comic...what a load

  • June 27, 2008, 1:25 a.m. CST


    by MichaelCorleone

    I'm sorry, but this review seems like you took the film WAY to seriously from a lot of standpoints. It's based off a damn comic book. Chill the fuck out. No you didn't say there would be a rash of copycats, but damn it if you didn't allude to it in some form. Review a goddamn film. Don't give me laced social commentary on something that is from the fucking land of make believe. You didn't like the film, that's great. But don't give me this "it's a step back in cinema" bullshit. The film may be shit, but that's a big exaggeration and you know it is.

  • June 27, 2008, 1:26 a.m. CST

    mrbeaks is onto something..."JUNO" could've inspired teen pregna

    by The Marquis de Side 3

    there's a LOT of stupid kids out there (not impressionable, they're called STUPID), and CNN actually discussed this if films like "JUNO" and the media love for pregnant actresses on the red carpet could have fanned the popularity for "being pregnant", and inspired those girls in that school to form a pact to get pregnant (where was that? the midwest? Cleveland? how many were they, twelve?). <br> <br> But it basically comes down to HOW you're raised. If your parents have common sense, then you won't go imitate "WANTED", just as you won't go around forming pregnancy pacts. It's not the movies. It's like blaming KISS and METALLICA if you want to comitt a crime. Stupid, right? But if you grow up in a militia, and want to celebrate the Supreme Court's new ruling on gun control, then "WANTED" must seem like a documentary on PBS for you... >=0p

  • June 27, 2008, 1:27 a.m. CST

    damn, beaks

    by Ace of Knaves

    way to write, homie. yeh i could do without this , even if it is decent ill just be thinking where are the capes and masks and shit? did they read the book?

  • June 27, 2008, 1:27 a.m. CST


    by Clarence Boddicker

    You took the words from my mouth...I couldn't agree more. I'm willing to assume that Mr.Beaks also believes "chidlin's" shouldn't play FPS games as it might improve their aim in an actual shooting spree...

  • June 27, 2008, 1:28 a.m. CST

    ...teen pregnancy...

    by The Marquis de Side 3

    DAMN! always get the titles cut off! >=0p

  • June 27, 2008, 1:28 a.m. CST

    Rape: THE MOVIE!

    by veebeeyes

    Watch as our fearless hero prowls around the schoolyard. Anyway, I did get sort of a weird vibe from the trailers. Like it was glorifying murder, sort of. Not sure if the actually movie plays out the same way, that's just the vibe I got from watching the trailers. Even if that's the case, I'm sure it's not gonna have any kind of effect on society, other than possibly making me feel dirty for having watched it.

  • June 27, 2008, 1:33 a.m. CST

    ...watching "WANTED" must feel like watching porn 12 hours strai

    by The Marquis de Side 3

    ...your brain is basically numb, you're drooling, and feel quite sick and emoty inside. Not that--I'VE--ever watched 12 hours straight of porn (AHEM) I mean (COUGH) I'm just friend of mine told me..he did that..uh..yeah, yep (SNIFF)not me, it was my friend, uh...JOE!... yeah, Joe, that's, uh, that's what that's like... excuse me. (EXIT)

  • June 27, 2008, 1:40 a.m. CST

    ive seen this sort of posturing before

    by aestheticity

    fight club. falling down. the company of men. american psycho. to a lesser extent, clockwork orange, brazil, donnie darko. the term 'white male angst'. every time ive seen it, the reviewer is the only one speaking in those sort of imaginary terms. it says rather more about them than it does the movie. it says 'this is how i felt, and i hate being such a loser so i will project onto everyone else'. the rest of the white males enjoy a film, but the reviewer sees a manifesto.

  • June 27, 2008, 1:40 a.m. CST

    Okay society will be fine

    by andrew coleman

    They said this after the Matrix where they glorified murdering cops and what not. Did people go around murdering everyone they saw? No. Also Wanted will be destroyed by Wall E in the box office so barely anyone will see it anyway.

  • June 27, 2008, 1:43 a.m. CST

    This review...

    by therealhenryjonesjrjr

    is a massive step back for the credibility of this website and its criticism. This movie was more enjoyable, more inventive, and more ENTERTAINING than any we've seen thus far this year, and frankly, if you're going to give the "columbine" argument here, and attempt to condemn the film based on the pretentious and, albeit, predictable grounds you seem to adhere to, Mr. Beaks, consider castrating YOURSELF. It's pricks like you, shilling high and mighty bullshit at the rest of us, that make it satisfying to see Micheal Bay thrive. Somewhere along the line you lost the point about movies, they're supposed to be enjoyable. Oh, and Texas Tower Sniper? Seriously, WTF? This reads like a Dateline story, not legitimate critique.

  • June 27, 2008, 1:44 a.m. CST

    So, you hated it for the kids. Kudos.

    by Executor

    You're such a good person to hate a movie because you're worried about the morality of society. And worried that some people who aren't as smart and brilliant as you might get the wrong idea and think the movie is advocating murdering people if a loom talks to you. Maybe we should take The Incredible Hulk out of theaters so kids don't die from a self-inflicted gamma-ray overdose. <p> "This pseudo-intellectual theater of idiocy needs nipped in the squib." Yeah...your "pseudo-intellectual" review makes absolutely no sense...and neither does your moralizing. <p>The movie IS entertaining.

  • June 27, 2008, 1:46 a.m. CST

    "I'm ridiculing the impressionable idiots they might inspire."

    by Executor

    The only one worthy of ridicule here is you, Beaks.

  • June 27, 2008, 1:46 a.m. CST

    Beaks, tell us this

    by Holodigm

    your thoughts on V for Vendetta?

  • June 27, 2008, 1:46 a.m. CST

    "woom"? Mr. Beaks? Really?

    by BadMrWonka

  • June 27, 2008, 1:48 a.m. CST

    Thank You Executor...

    by therealhenryjonesjrjr

    just...thank you.

  • June 27, 2008, 1:48 a.m. CST


    by BadMrWonka

    just kidding Beaks, you are Da "Bom"

  • June 27, 2008, 1:49 a.m. CST

    ps the movie may be shit

    by aestheticity

    but if it is itll have nothing to do with latent violence. i wont be seeing it anyway. ive started to find action movies boring and cinema tickets are too expensive now. and i just dont like that james mcavoy. he should be on tv shows about northern british families, looks out of place in a film.

  • June 27, 2008, 1:49 a.m. CST

    Fight Club did inspire fight clubs

    by Bass Ackwards

    Not saying that means anything in regards to this film, but people can be idiots, no use in denying it.

  • June 27, 2008, 1:50 a.m. CST

    Another thanks for Executor

    by ColtCCO

    Maybe it's earlier where you are, but you said it better than I did. The Nanny-knows-best elitism dripping from Beaks' review was sickening.

  • June 27, 2008, 1:51 a.m. CST


    by mrbeaks

    I was straining for alliteration?

  • June 27, 2008, 1:53 a.m. CST

    Strain to...

    by ColtCCO

    review a movie on its artistic merit next time, not vomit your socio-political agenda all over us.

  • June 27, 2008, 1:53 a.m. CST

    A very good review: pity there isnt more reviewers like him on h

    by wowsah156

    A good honest review that hits the nail on the head. Hollyweird has been a propaganda machine for gun culture and military porn for the last good 28 years churned out by movie executives with cocainre habits that take away their critical judgement and being targetted by pornotrash seeking a casting couch momnet. Its in environments like this that morally devoid action movies for gun fetish teens get mad. Anyway, i actually liked Wanted because it kept the nihlism of Millars comic in that it wasnty a happy ending for Wesley. He was corrupted and broken by the Fraternity, which his father sought to avoid. so the badies won in a sense. But anyway a good review.

  • June 27, 2008, 1:55 a.m. CST

    Hey Mr Beaks, I suggest that you go and castrate yourself...

    by Sledge Hammer

    ...seeing as how you seem to be the only one here who can't seperate filmic entertainment from actual reality. So yeah, take your holier than thou "I'm not influenced, but all those people dumber than me will be" bullshit and shove it sideways up your effite ass.

  • June 27, 2008, 1:58 a.m. CST

    Yo, MrBeaks...

    by DarthCorleone

    Great review. We've been on the same page for many movies for many years. I wasn't planning on going out of my way for this one, and you cemented that decision.<br><br>Oh, and the last line was especially good.

  • June 27, 2008, 1:58 a.m. CST

    Beaks warned you!

    by Forsakyn

    Folks, in all seriousness, you may bitch at Mr. Beaks now... But in all fairness, when curving becomes the new driveby standard ("my baby boy was behind the wall when that muthafucka cuhved a bullet that missed me and blew my boy's head off!") you'll eat your words. As a part-time assassin, I am STRONGLY AGAINST curving. There's a 5% inaccuracy even among the best curvers - most are lucky to get by at 17% inaccuracy. Wanted is likely to be a black mark on assassins everywhere! DAMN YOU, WANTED!

  • June 27, 2008, 2 a.m. CST

    Oh, and Mr. Beaks...

    by Forsakyn

    In fairness, I do intend to see the movie this weekend. If I think it's crap I'll come back to this thread and say so. And if like it I'll say so and why. And just as a matter of reference - I really enjoyed Crank, but thought Shoot 'em Up was crap. Have a good weekend everybody!

  • June 27, 2008, 2:02 a.m. CST


    by BadMrWonka

    if you're actually aching for alliteration, I always advise alcohol as an alliterative accelerant...

  • June 27, 2008, 2:04 a.m. CST

    I credit your passion, Sir Beaks

    by Sans Souci

    While I don't think Blunted heralds the collapse of society, that doesn't mean it ain't looking like a summer stinker. There is indeed a weird watered-down "Fight Club" vibe in most of the trailers and previews. Impressive action sequences are cool, mais oui, but they don't replace having a cohesive story.<p> Plus, James MacAvoy (a very credible and capable actor) seems to think he's in a National Lampoon production. He looks like one of the Hobbits trying to cop a bad 'tude or what not.

  • June 27, 2008, 2:07 a.m. CST

    MrBeaks are you MiraJeff's replacement

    by Prossor

    and how did that messy thing get straightened out with his leaving and doing his tell-all posts on this joint????

  • June 27, 2008, 2:09 a.m. CST

    Great write-up, Beaks.

    by SmarkJobber

    And did I say "Welcome back" yet? Your voice was sorely missed on AICN.

  • June 27, 2008, 2:11 a.m. CST

    Brad Pitt knocked up Angie real good,

    by Groothewarrior

    or was it her lezzie friends with turkey baster i wonder if shes a beard like Kidman all those years?

  • June 27, 2008, 2:12 a.m. CST

    Oh yes, if someone gets killed, blame the movies.

    by DerLanghaarige

    Or Marylin Manson. Or videogames. Or Beavis & Butt-Head.

  • June 27, 2008, 2:24 a.m. CST

    The First Credible Review On AICN In The Last 18 Months!!!

    by Media Messiah

    This story from the beginning, this story has celebrated rape, murder, racism and Columbine style shooters, and getting away with it like that is something cool to aspire to??? Fight Club was cool because the lead formed a Al Qaeda like terrorist group that outgrew him to the point of entrapping him. His imaginary self, the villain, and everything anti-social that he wanted to artifact of wish fulfillment granted...this, happened to represent a split personality. The lead's rational side, rejected this dark layer of himself, and attempted to escape it, and that was the brilliance of the piece--his attempt to escape the sudden encroachment of mental illness...with the only way out, self sacrifice. That was his redemption.<BR><BR>However, Wanted, the graphic novel, written by a clearly mentally unstable writer, only sought to justify the fall into insanity by its protagonist, and his hate for all things he could not possess and control. The problem with said material, is that it can serve to influence others who will act on these sick fantasies and seek to bring them into reality by killing and raping people for real...and that is what the reviewer is warning us about--the potential to inspire evil acts, in a society that is already over the edge and dying thanks to too many of such deeds already. Frankly, we don't need the extra push into madness and anarchy. On the contrary, we need relief from it!!!<BR><BR>So much for Ms. Jolie and Common being socially conscious humanitarians...for if they were, they wouldn't be starring in such perversely anti social films.

  • June 27, 2008, 2:25 a.m. CST


    by fiester

    Now that's how you do a fucking review. Well done!

  • June 27, 2008, 2:30 a.m. CST

    by Philo

    Kind of liked this; big dumb fun movie... Also enjoyed your review Beaks but dodn't agree with all your opinions. Taken to extremes, political correctness emasculates us all and would leave us no better than Wesley at the start of the movie or even worse, like him at the end. Anyway, at the end of the day it's just a big dumb movie to enjoy with the brain turned off and a smile on your face.

  • June 27, 2008, 2:33 a.m. CST

    Amended: The First Credible Review On AICN In The Last 18 Months

    by Media Messiah

    From the beginning, this story has celebrated rape, murder, racism and Columbine style shooters, and getting away with it like that is something cool to aspire to??? Fight Club was cool because the lead formed an Al Qaeda like terrorist group that outgrew him to the point of entrapping him. His imaginary self, the villain, and everything anti-social that he wanted to artifact of wish fulfillment granted...serviced the story by representing his split personality. The lead's rational side, rejected this dark layer of himself, and attempted to escape it, and that was the brilliance of the piece--his attempt to escape the sudden encroachment of mental illness...with the only way out being, self sacrifice. That was his redemption.<BR><BR>However, Wanted, the graphic novel, written by a clearly mentally unstable writer, only sought to justify the fall into insanity by its protagonist, and his hate for all things he could not possess and control. The problem with said material, is that it can serve to influence others who will act on these sick fantasies and seek to bring them into reality by killing and raping people for real...and that is what the reviewer is warning us about--the potential to inspire evil acts, in a society that is already over the edge and dying thanks to too many of such deeds already. Frankly, we don't need the extra push into madness and anarchy. On the contrary, we need relief from it!!! We need to step back from the edge...and acknowledge that our world is heading for a global devolution, if we don't stop this trend, and now!!!<BR><BR>So much for Ms Jolie and Common being socially conscious humanitarians...for if they were, they wouldn't be starring in such perversely anti social films.

  • June 27, 2008, 2:38 a.m. CST

    yeah whatever happened to MiraJeff anyway?

    by Holodigm

    he disappeared...!!!

  • June 27, 2008, 2:39 a.m. CST


    by slkboxrman

    sorry but i always laugh at the idiot that claims that movies and videogames have an impact on "impressionable children", but laugh even harder when it comes from someone high on themselves cuz they review movies on AICN...the only people that copycat what they see on TV and the movies and video games are the ones with mental defects...its a movie, its entertainment, plain and break it down into the bain of civilization is an over reaction in the highest degree of over reaction....and i forget who posted earlier that thanks to this review it makes it a DVD rental instead of a go see....are u retarded, based on a review ? if i beleived every self deluded reviewers review of movies, i wouldnt have seen many movies.....if i think it looks good i go, if not , then not...what if he told u those tighty whities u bought one size too small cuz u think itll make ur dick look bigger are silly, would u stop wearing them ? lol......if anything is the bane , the killer, and the ultimate end of society, its the sheep that believe everything they see on the news or are told by someone that supposedly knows....everyone should question, the minute we stop questioning is when we all become dumb, brainless sheep, unfortunately i think more than %50 of americans are already too dumb to realize theyre dumb....sad

  • June 27, 2008, 2:43 a.m. CST

    I am going to see "Get Smart" again this weekend!!!

    by Polk Fly Lice

    If you want action, romance and comedy without the nihilism, "Get Smart"(2008) is ALL heart ;^) Things that i found endearing about "Get Smart" (2008): 1. The film has a very sweet story. 2. The cast is very good. 3. The action scenes are VERY well handled, especially for a comedy. 4. The story holds together under close scrutiny. 5. The pace of the film is tight. (I was surprised that the running time is 1:50 minutes) 6. The climax of the film happens in broad daylight (you know... so you can SEE what is happening) 7. Glorious Ludwig Van Beethoven music. 8. Anne Hathaway is very easy on the eyes, and she is also very good at setting up dramatic scenes. 9. This movie is not a parody, there are a couple of times were I got misty-eyed. 10. There seems to be a good amount of quality stunt-work in the movie. 11. The music is very energetic. 12. Mr. Carrell and Miss Hathaway are attractively dressed. 13. Budget looks like it was spent wisely, you can see all of it up on the screen. 14. The little puppy IS cute. 15. The cgi is minimal and well integrated. 16. There is also minimal shaky-cam.

  • June 27, 2008, 2:52 a.m. CST

    AICN loves the act of taking a dump on a movie

    by Scapulawings

    I'm 100% sure that this "review" was ready to be written this way long before this guy even saw the movie. So, what's the point exactly? Plus I like how he rails on how it's disgusting to identify with the protagonist when that's THE WHOLE POINT! It's supposed to creep you out that he's basically a normal dude that goes on a killing spree. It's supposed to be disturbing in that respect but the "reviewer" is so concerned about 14 year old kids' reaction to the film instead of actual adults who are able to ya know... think. It's supposed to be so cool that the killing goes down easy... that's the commentary. Duh!

  • June 27, 2008, 2:54 a.m. CST

    Beaks didn't actually find anything wrong with the movie...

    by ZeroC

    Except its message. He disagrees with the message of the film and thus he hates it. It's not that the film is badly acted, directed, written, or even that the story is bad, he just hates the message. And he so doesn't want to admit that the rest is good, that he has to do it under the veil of "oh well 14-year-old boys will find everything else good..." Yeah Beaks, so will most other demographics. This review is like bashing a romantic comedy, not because it's bad, but just because the reviewer doesn't like the genre.

  • June 27, 2008, 2:58 a.m. CST

    This review makes me interested

    by polyh3dron

    This is probably the first time I've read a review that was supposed to be panning a movie where it makes me want to see it even more. Boo fucking hoo, people get killed. It's a FUCKING MOVIE ABOUT ASSASSINS ASSASSINATING PEOPLE FOR CHRISSAKE.

  • June 27, 2008, 3:01 a.m. CST

    Oh also, re: Get Smart

    by polyh3dron

    Fuck the haters, that movie is awesome too.

  • June 27, 2008, 3:03 a.m. CST

    David Poland said the same exact thing earlier this week

    by AlwaysThere

    Great minds think alike.

  • June 27, 2008, 3:07 a.m. CST

    That Beaks Guy...

    by Dreamseller

    Man. This guy puts Harry to shame with his reviews. Keep up the good work Beaks.

  • June 27, 2008, 3:10 a.m. CST

    I didn't know David Poland wrote for this site.

    by Holeman

    Weird. I usually have to read one of his reviews to get insulted by this kind of pompous bullshit.

  • June 27, 2008, 3:14 a.m. CST

    I Don't Think The Reviewer Is Attempting To Protect Kids!!!

    by Media Messiah

    Most of the dangers are coming from those who know better, or should...that being adults. Sure evil, and or sick people, sometimes one in the same, are out there already...and they have, and will, act on their whims without influence, but the point is, why give them ideas to do worse than they already would, if left o thei own devices?

  • June 27, 2008, 3:17 a.m. CST

    Amended: I Don't Think The Reviewer Is Attempting To Protect Kid

    by Media Messiah

    Most of the dangers are coming from those who know better, or should...that being adults. Sure evil, and or, sick people, sometimes one in the same, are out there already...and they have, and will, act on their own whims without influence, but the point is, why give them ideas to do worse than they already would, if left to their own devices?

  • June 27, 2008, 3:23 a.m. CST

    Not surprised...

    by SunTzu77

    ...about this one. It's a rental at best...for me.

  • June 27, 2008, 3:24 a.m. CST

    beaks is right.

    by frankenfickle

    don't let the bastards grind you down, brother.

  • June 27, 2008, 3:33 a.m. CST

    Saw it. SPOILERS

    by Mr. Profit

    To sum it up. Its not terrible. Its not good. Its average. It is a combination of different action movies. The first half is pretty good. The set up of Wesley's character is good. Angelina is good. The car chase is great. But after the training montage and the train accident, the movie falls off horribly. It is pretty bad. The ending ruins all before it. SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER: Did not like Angelina's decision at the end. It was a big mistake for any sequel potential. END SPOILER. Its like the movie gets you going and ends too soon in an unsatisfying fashion. Thing is, I can't trash the film, but its not worth full admission. This is DVD all the way. It would have been the shit in 97 in Nic Cage's heyday. But in a post Matrix world, the movie is just ok. And its a shame because I was really rooting for it. But lucky thing I saw it for free.

  • June 27, 2008, 3:47 a.m. CST


    by Steve Rogers

    the smug, self-fellating berk.

  • June 27, 2008, 3:58 a.m. CST

    Steve Rogers is right.

    by The-Duke-of-New-York

    I loathed the comic book. I liked his Ultimate Marvel work, but everything else I've read by or about the guy leads me to think of him as a grade-A douche. As for the movie, it looks kind of like Ultraviolet's younger brother who just read Maximum Carnage and thought it was AWESOME.

  • June 27, 2008, 4:14 a.m. CST

    Mr Beaks...Yawn

    by masteryoda007


  • June 27, 2008, 4:34 a.m. CST

    Oh God!!!!!!

    by ChiefRoberts

    If someone's not nuked the fridge, they're a Plant or Anti-Plant! Fuck the lot of you!!!! ; )

  • June 27, 2008, 4:49 a.m. CST

    Wrong side of bed?

    by Andy247

    At first I wondered what made you so eminently qualified to offer such insightful comment and then the answer came to me in a rare moment of clarity...... sod all. Worst..... review.... ever.

  • June 27, 2008, 5:20 a.m. CST

    Dipshit design

    by kafka07

    Ok it sounds like it sucks, but whose fault is it? How much should we blame Timur Bekmambetov for this idiocy? is the movie faithful to the graphic novel?

  • June 27, 2008, 5:29 a.m. CST

    fucking amazing review.

    by Smoke Monster Loves Kate

    and NO, it's NOT the comic book. the comic book is about VILLAINS. half this shit would make sense in that context. somewhat.

  • June 27, 2008, 5:36 a.m. CST


    by 2LeggedFreak

    Looks a simple-minded concept at best.<br> <br> Curving bullets, what a completely naff idea.

  • June 27, 2008, 5:46 a.m. CST


    by auraboy

    Okay the film may be naff but I'm pretty tired of people telling me that all characters in a film/book whatever must be sympathetic. Complete nihilistic anti-hero fucktards are just as artisitically relevant to human society and appreciation. Most of us are cunts anyway - why must every character be morally correct or deviant. Can't you be both? This isn't Sunday school. <p> Face it, Fight Club worked because it celebrated and humiliated the character's motives at the same time. Maybe WANTED doesn't come close to that but I'm not going to blame it for people being too fucking dumb to revel in anti-social angst without worshipping it as a positive message.

  • June 27, 2008, 6:05 a.m. CST

    Holy shit! This review...

    by depalma25 a total fucking buzz killer. Actually, I was mildly impressed with Night Watch and Day Watch, but was willing to concede the fact, that given good material...fuck it...I don't know what I thought. I can only imagine how great a movie like Iron Man, The Incredible Hulk, would have been, without the interference from the studio. People are going bananas because Marvel is now its own movie studio. They're fucking up, like the rest of them. Just ask Edward Norton, who has seen his movie's box office tally fall sixty percent in its second week. Wanted will gross forty million in its first week as well. WALL-EE wil grosx sixty-five million. Business as usual.

  • June 27, 2008, 6:09 a.m. CST


    by hallowhitch31

    Good review. Thank Christ you're here to save the mediocrity of the AICN writing staff. Also, great to see someone who will lambast a film everyone else is pooping themselves over.

  • June 27, 2008, 6:09 a.m. CST

    basically the same B.O. numbers, give or...

    by depalma25

    take a few million as Ang Lee's Hulk. "The override, sir, has been overriden." Um, not so fast.

  • June 27, 2008, 6:23 a.m. CST

    this new Hulk movie

    by Smoke Monster Loves Kate

    will do better on DVD than the original (though i liked ang lee's a lot), it has the sort of action scenes and ending that would make people remember and pick it up just to rewatch. abomination vs. hulk was damn fun.

  • June 27, 2008, 6:43 a.m. CST

    Wow, Last Man Standing!

    by O_Goncho

    I love that film... well, okay, maybe love is too strong a word, but I thoroughly enjoy it. (Yes, I know and <i>love</i> Yojimbo)

  • June 27, 2008, 6:47 a.m. CST

    I think Beaks has a point but I still enjoyed the film

    by Tom Whitaker

    There's really only one scene that his critique applies to, towards the end of the film, and I had the same problem that I did with the lobby scene in The Matrix. Part of an action film's duty, in my eyes, is to convince me that the people who get it deserve it and that the 'action' is the best course of action to solve whatever problem or plot issue there is. Neither The Matrix or Wanted convinced me of this in those scenes - it seems to me that it's innocent people getting slaughtered in style and while I don't think it's quite as problematic as Beaks does, it makes the scene a lot less enjoyable for me.

  • June 27, 2008, 6:52 a.m. CST

    To clarify

    by Tom Whitaker

    I don't think it's guilty of promoting violence against the innocent or anything like that, I think it just fails to establish what it needs to before that scene. Weak storytelling, not moral collapse.

  • June 27, 2008, 6:55 a.m. CST

    This review was fascinating

    by O_Goncho

    But I agree with the nihilism lovers. Nothing wrong with some escapist ultraviolence, so long as the emphasis remains on escapism and not putting a jihad on someone.

  • June 27, 2008, 7:26 a.m. CST

    "unexplicated" - ????

    by redtom

    "unexplicated"???? jeeezus, what happened plain old "unexplained"?<p><p>

  • June 27, 2008, 7:27 a.m. CST

    The characters not being sympathetic

    by Mr. Profit

    Is the least of the problems with the movie. The ending fucks the movie up. Big time. I can't believe that ending passed a test screening. What a way to fuck up any sequel potential by doing what they did. The movie was fun right until the train accident. Then it has a weak last act. If the ending sequence was more satisfying. The movie would have been great. But now it's just an average action movie that should be on the same shelf as The Transporter 2.

  • June 27, 2008, 7:30 a.m. CST

    Does every movie have to be a metaphor?

    by WickedChicken37

    Why can't a movie about killing simply be a movie about killing? And killing in cool ways? Just saying.

  • June 27, 2008, 7:43 a.m. CST

    Killing in cool ways...

    by Mr. Profit

    Final Destination films fit that bill. People go to see those movie with the sole purpose to watch teens die in elaborate ways. Why would people would be mad about the characters in Wanted? Wanted shouldn't work anyone up about the characters having no morals or souls. They are fucking assassins. I don't see how anyone can walk away from the movie feeling anything other than, "OK, when does Batman come out again?". This movie is not going to become iconic and imitated or remembered. It will be on the DVD shelf in October.

  • June 27, 2008, 7:54 a.m. CST

    Beaks, you are a dick.

    by FluffyUnbound

    First you say that the film jettisoned the notion of telling a story from the perspective of the supervillains, and then you complain that the philosophy behind the violence isn't sound or coherent. YOU MORON - if you told a story from the perspective of the villains, it would feature a set of unsound, but seductive, motivations. So you're mad at the film because it tried to do what you're complaining it didn't try to do.

  • June 27, 2008, 7:58 a.m. CST


    by maddox

    Your review was <del>fascinating</del> pompous and trite.

  • June 27, 2008, 7:59 a.m. CST

    Damn You Michael Bay


    Damn You Michael Bay

  • June 27, 2008, 8:02 a.m. CST

    Thank God, Beaks is back at AICN

    by Smilin'Jack Ruby

    I must've laughed ten times in this review. Sadly, as "Wanted" is inspiring just the craziest negative reviews (particularly that Lane-thing Poland linked to), obviously, it must be something to be seen to be believed. So, it's going to get my money anyway no matter how many warning signs are thrown up. Looking forward to the Beaks review of "Mamma Mia!"

  • June 27, 2008, 8:03 a.m. CST

    Auraboy has it right.

    by FluffyUnbound

    "Complete nihilistic anti-hero fucktards are just as artistically relevant to human society." Especially when there are 1,000,000 movies featuring good heroes [with an obstacle or problem] "rolled up" using Story as a DM guide. If every once in a while there's a movie built around some evil people doing evil shit, it breaks the monotony. Slasher films have "secretly" been about the villain for decades - I just saw this movie as an attempt to do that in the action genre instead of the horror genre.

  • June 27, 2008, 8:06 a.m. CST

    Anyone who saw the trailer KNOWS this one sucks already

    by BenBraddock

    But thanks for confirming it so wittily Mr.Beaks! From the director of "Nightwatch" - 'nuff said. Honestly.. curving bullets? Please.. And Angelina, the last possible piece of potential interest for me looks half emaciated. I'll pass thanks.

  • June 27, 2008, 8:34 a.m. CST

    I love reading Beaks haters in Talkbacks.

    by Nordling

    There's no better way to separate the wheat from the chaff, so to speak.

  • June 27, 2008, 8:47 a.m. CST

    "WANTED is a massive step back for cinema"

    by godzillasushi

    I may have misunderstood what you meant there Beaks...but assuming I got the right idea, I think those are strong words for a movie that looks destined to fall between the cracks. I think all of you are giving this movie too much credit for it's impact, or lack thereof. Hmmm....this review will get re-visited Monday!!!

  • June 27, 2008, 9:10 a.m. CST

    call the wahmbulence

    by dr sauch

    i'm seeing it. i thought mr. beaks was cool. oh well.

  • June 27, 2008, 9:15 a.m. CST

    Damn, Beaks, you give good review

    by The Octagoner

    Also, Fight Club is a shitty movie. Imbecilic bullshit from the syphilitic brain of a fifth-rate queer novelist. Just thought I'd add that. I gotta go teach a workshop this morning, but I'll be back to argue later, ladies.

  • June 27, 2008, 9:22 a.m. CST

    No Thanks

    by TheLastCleric

    I’m not trying to dampen anybody else’s enthusiasm but this film looks stale and ridiculous. After enjoy a heaping of well-made, realistic bloodshed with a thoughtful dénouement in Rambo, I really don’t have any desire to watch a 98 pound stick figure “curve” bullets or use “car-fu.” I love a good action flick but everything about this movie looks ridiculous and tedious, especially Jolie’s annoying fucking smirk, which seems to be the limit of her acting range. With Hellboy II and The Dark Knight only weeks away, I expect this one to come and go quickly. I’ll go watch the Hulk again this weekend.

  • June 27, 2008, 9:26 a.m. CST

    Scalia looks a bit like Nixon

    by Sgt.Steiner

    Beaks, the film is clearly not a "Minority Report"-style dissection. On the other hand, is it really wrong to be unnerved by "Dirty Harry", say, for mocking the essential rights that are designed for all citizens, including criminals, because we are a democracy? But, conversely, using the same moral telescope, one could also castigate "Leon" for its unblinking view of assassination. But the moral complexity of "Leon" would defy such a simple reading. So many questions. But it must be noted that what Beaks is not Michael Medved, and, hence, not a whiny reactionary bitch seeking an arcane return to the scrubbed caricatures of masculinity presented in MGM musicals("I'm looking at you, 'Anchors Aweigh'). Medved also feels a film's worth can be weighed in curse words or lack thereof, and in terms of value in propagating a racist, homophobic, right wing depiction of an America that never was, to castigate others for their lack of jingoism. Beaks seems a little more clear-headed than a tool. But still, this review raises more questions than it answers....

  • June 27, 2008, 9:49 a.m. CST


    by BMacSmith

    WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN!?!? FUCK THE CHILDREN!!! its rated R. give me a rated R movie and stop bitching about it turning our children to the dark side. this site of all sites cant say shit about this.

  • June 27, 2008, 10:01 a.m. CST

    Moral baggage

    by earl of sandwich

    I agree that the movie has some serious nastiness to it (saw last week), but seriously, who really thought this was going to be a film that you didn't check your brain at the door. Visually the film achieves something I haven't seen this summer, somthing to actually go "Holy Crap, did you just see that?" because it's so insane you can't help but appreciate it for it's inventiveness. Yes it's not truley "new", but I'd rather be telling my freinds about the crazy 5 minute gun orgy than an old man in a fridge......Bottom line, you want action this weekend? Go see Wanted (but save your pennies for Hellboy, cause it's gonna kick your ass)

  • June 27, 2008, 10:26 a.m. CST



    when i was in fifth grade i was one of those kids that pretended to be the power rangers... so i kicked my brother in the forehead and then screwed the neighbor girl... she wasnt as hot as the pink ranger... but then again i couldnt play the recorder like the green ranger either...

  • June 27, 2008, 10:31 a.m. CST

    Shutup, I like it...

    by NivekJ the wyrm would say.

  • June 27, 2008, 10:36 a.m. CST

    RE: Sgt.Steiner

    by godzillasushi

    Seriously, do you talk like that in reality? I don't know what you said but it sounds like you've memorized a thesaurus and mastered the art of BS....hehe. Ahem, so WTF were you trying to say? Type it in 10 words or less.

  • June 27, 2008, 10:50 a.m. CST

    Its one thing...

    by roboknob

    Its one thing to enjoy mindless action, its another to glorify it. The comics glorify rape, violence and quick death. They are comics, not real life, but they DO inspire and influence. I guess these people who enjoy violence and short sighted viewpoints need a comic but life is a bit more... Just more, that's my problem with this, by shortening these strong elements it makes it cheap and scary. If they elaborated to enlighten people about possible pros and cons to these actions, THAT might be a movie (or book) worth watching. Hollywood can do better, dumbing things down helps keep people dumb.

  • June 27, 2008, 10:56 a.m. CST

    Excellent review, Mr. Beaks!

    by Ninja Nerd

    I've always felt a reviewer should "call 'em as he/she sees 'em" and most fail that obligation. This movie just doesn't appeal to me, from the trailers alone. If you're into gun porn and torture porn, good for you. I appreciate a well-crafted film , even if it's over-the-top violent, so long as there's some intelligence as to WHY as opposed to "this is a cool way to brutalize and degrade people...let's put it in!" Wanted just looks like trash in a slick wrapper. Note to flaming fanboys: I'm a military veteran and while I can't curve a bullet or shoot the wings off a fly, I did qualify Marksman and I did shoot at other human beings with the intent of killing them. And did, about a dozen times. 35 years later, I don't currently own a gun. Not for or against, just don't feel the need. I do have the ninja skills going for me and my carry weapon is an ASP police baton. Fits in my coat or back pocket and if I need to shift from hand-to-hand to defending against a knife, club, and/or multiple opponents, it's SNAP! WAP! WAP!...would you like those teeth back? It's fairly hard to kill someone with a stick, which is the driver here; I don't think a drunk or average asshole needs to die. They're stupid and only a little dangerous. I have a concealed carry permit and I did carry for several years, always because of job requirements. Now that I am a office-bound nerd, I don't need a hand cannon. Outside of the war, I've never had to shoot anyone, but I did draw on 2 occasions. I broke my own rule of "if you draw, you're shooting" because ending another human being's life is never trivial or fun or....entertaining. I don't know that movies like this cause idiots to emulate it. My experience is that fools are fools on their own with no outside help required. topic...Get Smart is a very good movie. I loved it a lot. The only part that fell flat was the Bill Murray/Agent 13 bit. The audience I was with just went "huh?" Other than that, it was well done. If you didn't like it, it's your loss.

  • June 27, 2008, 11:02 a.m. CST


    by whitenoise27

    I wonder how beaks felt about Rambo.

  • June 27, 2008, 11:13 a.m. CST


    by Sledge Hammer

    ...just how many userids do you have to help sway the balance and pat yourself on the back Beaks? Ip's say quite a few...

  • June 27, 2008, 11:23 a.m. CST

    Idiots have always been with us...

    by Zeke25:17

    ...and always will be. But you don't make an R-rated film based on how impressionable a portion of its audience will be. Remember when they actually started censoring Bugs Bunny cartoons, fer chrissakes? Couldn't show Elmer blasting Daffy's beak off, 'cause it might make the kids want to shoot every duck they see! Now just because I wasn't one of those kids--and certainly don't consider myself unable to distinguish fantasy from reality--I won't for one minute deny that several times throughout my life, I've fantasized about killing somebody. Not beating them up...fucking KILLING THEM. The imagined targets are the usual ones: any assholes at work, including your boss. The brain-dead football jock in high school who took your girl. Some shitbird who thinks it's perfectly okay to play rap music in his car at 100 decibels at 6 in the morning. Most folks, whether they own a gun or not, have thought at least once in such instances: BLOW EM AWAY. Yet most of us do not act on this, because we haven't gone completely nihilistic...not yet, anyway. The movies are our outlet (either that or, for the mildly retarded, paintball. Honestly: who came up with that?!?). No, friends, WANTED will not turn you into an assassin, no more so than Gross Pointe Blank or Kill Bill. But if nihilistic violence in a fantasy setting isn't your cup of tea, hey: there's always WALL-E, which looks like the second Pixar movie I'll be avoiding. And yes, GET SMART was damn good...a fun action movie with no anger behind it at all. But as most of us will admit--sometimes anger CAN be fun. Just ask the Hulk.

  • June 27, 2008, 11:43 a.m. CST


    by whitenoise27

    It may be trash, but I am happy that studios are comitting to R rated films. Lest we forget the 90's and there lack of the wet stuff. Options are never a bad thing. This movie would have probably doubled its revenue had it been a PG-13. I am also guessing the Beaks would have called it a fun romp and give it a thumbs up like he did for The Core.

  • June 27, 2008, 11:46 a.m. CST

    Curving the bullet is just about as lame as...

    by StovetopStuffin'

    writing words and crossing them out in your review. Oh so clever. The moment you said you didn't like Nightwatch and Daywatch, you lost my respect.

  • June 27, 2008, 11:58 a.m. CST

    Dear Mr. Beaks

    by drbenway59

    Thank for giving this movie a bad review. I needed it. Society needed. Cinema needed it.

  • June 27, 2008, 12:02 p.m. CST

    And another thing...

    by drbenway59

    The movie doesn't offend me as a human being, but as a lover of film. It's asinine, pandering, juvenile, derivative. It's for ten-year-olds who have never seen an R-rated movie (or The Matrix) before.

  • June 27, 2008, 12:13 p.m. CST

    Nice review, Beaks

    by Drunken Rage

    I probably won't see it due to all the hype; I imagine it's a lot like "Jumper" in that respect: a good trailer, interesting premise but ultimately not worth the trip to the theater.

  • June 27, 2008, 12:16 p.m. CST

    Bravo , Beaks!

    by Raymar

    At least the comic committed to being about evil people. Trying to have them all be "good bad guys" is such a pathetic cop out.

  • June 27, 2008, 12:19 p.m. CST

    when the title said you 'perforated the film'

    by smackfu

    it kind of implied that you broke it's hymen, ie you just fucked it in the back seat of your car on prom night. You should change the title, because if one doesn't actually read the review past the title and first few paragraphs, they may come away thinking you like the film, and are in fact, a twat.

  • June 27, 2008, 12:22 p.m. CST


    by whitenoise27

    Was terrible, just a friendly reminder. Also I am excited to see Wall-E this weekend...which is aimed at 7 year olds. Ageist.

  • June 27, 2008, 12:39 p.m. CST

    that review was entertaining

    by CherryValance

    Seriously. I had no intention of seeing this movie. I like James McAvoy but it looks stupid. My brain wants to question why an actress like Angelina takes movies like this. And then I hear about her making more gigantic donations and I realize she'll go bankrupt if she doesn't. So she's forgiven. I have no explanation for Morgan Freeman though.

  • June 27, 2008, 12:54 p.m. CST

    Step backwards for cinema?

    by Pompoulus

    Why exactly? Because it advocates killing? Really, that's a step backwards for cinema? You know what I call that? Fantasy. You never had a violent fantasy Beaker? Should I really have to explain this to someone who supposedly enjoys movies, the concept of fantasy? This is yet another tired bullshit "videogames/movies/musics/etc are evil because they motivate THE TEENS to kill" tirade. Fucking yawn. You and your buddy Jack Thompson must have a lot to talk about.

  • June 27, 2008, 12:58 p.m. CST

    Right on, Pomp!

    by Zeke25:17

    And please read my post above; it appears either no one else has, or they just didn't give enough of a damn to respond to its provocation.

  • June 27, 2008, 1:04 p.m. CST

    Beaks leaves CHUD and THEN becomes a cynical ass?

    by BitterMan23

    Come on man, this movie is fucking great. Not everything can be as flawless as Down With Love.

  • June 27, 2008, 2:36 p.m. CST

    that was really written well

    by ArcadianDS

    excellent use of prose in that review.

  • June 27, 2008, 2:38 p.m. CST


    by just pillow talk


  • June 27, 2008, 3:20 p.m. CST

    You know that myth...

    by drbenway59

    ... that nerds are smart? Wanted and the reaction it's getting from sites like this just pissed on it.

  • June 27, 2008, 4:19 p.m. CST

    just pillow talk

    by whitenoise27

    You have point. I think I was just muckraking. I liked Equilibrium.

  • June 27, 2008, 4:37 p.m. CST

    Hey, a geek film...

    by MyManD316

    ...That the critics love and geeks hate? What has the world come to?<p> I liked it, by the way. Fuck social responsibilities. I don't go to an escapist summer flick to think about "real" things.

  • June 27, 2008, 5:20 p.m. CST

    Damn You MCMLXXVI

    by TheyCallMeMisterBay

    Damn You MCMLXXVI

  • June 27, 2008, 5:35 p.m. CST

    Beaks is right!

    by Wed Vid Guy

    Holy shit was this a shit sandwich. Worst movie of the year.

  • June 27, 2008, 8:25 p.m. CST

    If only the man actually critiqued the quality of the film.

    by Pompoulus

    No, he seemed content to rail on how immoral anybody who enjoyed it was because the protagonist was a killer for hire. Stop the fucking presses and call the FCC. A hero with low character, what a step backward for cinema-- which up till now has been packed wall to wall with righteousness and wholesome family values.

  • June 27, 2008, 9:59 p.m. CST

    Beaks switches sides more than

    by AlwaysThere

    Ahhhh, I don't even know how to end that joke, so all I'll say is that he could have eviscerated this movie more than he did and wouldn't be enough.

  • June 28, 2008, 12:19 a.m. CST

    Beaks is so damned serious ...

    by DennisMM

    and lots of you are so damned offended by it. Pretty serious, ennit? What's worse, taking a film too seriously or taking a review of a film too seriously? <br> <br> I won't see this in theaters and probably not on DVD for years and years, precisely because it sounds from all reviews I've read like another two hours of cheap humor and cheaper death. If I want an interesting film about assassins and an innocent I'll watch "Leon" again.

  • June 28, 2008, 1:27 a.m. CST

    Sounds good....

    by travis-dane

    I`ll see it!The Russian trailer was great!

  • June 28, 2008, 3:52 a.m. CST

    I dunno Dennis.

    by Pompoulus

    What about taking a review of a review too seriously? I think you're taking the comments of the review of the movie too seriously. Or maybe I'm just being too serious.

  • June 28, 2008, 4 a.m. CST

    That's fine Yackbacker.

    by Pompoulus

    Of course it's 'valid'. A review is somebody's subjective opinion, you'd have a hard time finding an 'invalid' one. So by that standard, yes, gold star.

  • June 28, 2008, 4:35 a.m. CST

    five words hollywood...

    by deecalhoun

    STICK TO THE SOURCE MATERIAL.. this movie could have been something unique in movies this summer if it wasn't for the "reworking the story to make it work on film " Jezz,As they say in the film business, stick to the" f" script!!

  • June 28, 2008, 12:32 p.m. CST


    by Pompoulus

    Far be it for me to start looking like I'm waving the banner to defend Wanted, I'm not saying the movie is good. I'm just wondering what the enlightened place was that all of cinema was walking to, that a vapid popcorn flick is a step backward. I think that's a bit much, I think it's okay to turn your brain off now and then without feeling like you're ruining both society and cinema. And since I reject basically the only point the guy made, I can't help but reject the review.

  • June 28, 2008, 7:55 p.m. CST

    Fight Club was TERRIBLE

    by crankyoldguy

    Unwatchable. STOOPID. And this is coming from someone who really has punched out people in public.

  • July 1, 2008, 3:27 p.m. CST

    This was a terrible movie. | MoM

    by Mostholy

    And Beaks is basically on target. I didn't dislike it because it might corrupt children. I didn't like it because it was aggressively dumb and derivative.<br /><br /> Also, Memories of Murder, it's Samuel BECKETT. You got it wrong twice, and thus pretty much confirmed you're a dumbass who doesn't know what he's talking about.

  • July 3, 2008, 11:03 a.m. CST

    wow, beaks

    by eloy

    Pretty loathed review,I gotta say, and that really surprises me; outside of Vern's constantly knocked out of the park contributions, I think this is the best AICN review I've ever come across.

  • July 8, 2008, 9:07 p.m. CST

    Henry Winkler

    by Mike Fornes

    did it better in Night Shift

  • April 16, 2010, 5:17 p.m. CST

    Thanx for the Pretty Baby heads up Beaks

    by ominus

    a 12yo Brooke Shields being deflowered? i am already in.