Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.

So the more I've been thinking about it, the more I don't know if I can review this film. I liked it quite a bit (it's been growing on me since my viewing a few weeks back), and I'd say that any Carpenter fan should go. My problem boils down to conflict of interest on this one. For reasons I can't really explain fully here, I don't think it would be appropriate for me to write and publish a full review.

I'll say this: Natasha Henstridge is cool. Way cool. So are the subtle signs of the matriarchal society. So is Jason Statham. So is the score. Oh, god... the score. I could write 5,000 words just on the score. You have to see this in a theater that will play it loud. If you have to, bribe the projectionist to turn it up a little extra. At the press screening I attended, they had it pushed so loud my balls shook. Screen Gems, you have my permission to put that in the TV spots next week. "My balls shook!" - Moriarty, AICN.

I think the flashback structure of the film robs it of some of its effectiveness as a horror film, but I'm not so sure this was ever meant to be scary. It's freaky in places, but it's never really scary. This is more of an action movie at heart, and by the end, it's ZULU in space.

Still, like I said, I'm uncomfortable publishing a whole review of my own on this film, so let me hand you over to one of our readers, "Thalberg," who got a chance to peep at the goods himself:

Hi Harry.

Long time reader, first time contributor if you want this review. I just came back from a screening of Ghosts of Mars, the new Carpenter flick. It does have some spoilers. The film is typical B-movie fare. Natasha Henstridge plays a cop in a future matriarchal(?) society assigned to Mars, which has been colonized by Earth. It's unclear whether this matriarchal society is only on Mars or on Earth as well. She has to bring back Ice Cube, who has been accused of killing some miners. Also, she is incredibly gorgeous and I was hoping for some nudity a la Species, but there's none of that in this movie.

The film is told in flashback form by various characters in the film, but this does not interrupt the story in any way. I don't want to give away the whole plot, but I will comment on some things. First, this is a great looking film. Carpenter obviously had a nice budget on Ghosts of Mars. The Mars sets are great and the sound effects and music are amazing! Carpenter does an excellent job with the tension track, helping to keep the audience on edge.

The film itself plays like a combo of Assault on Precinct 13 and Escape From New York. Basically our group of heroes and anti-heroes has to fight off a nasty group of posessed miners, posessed of some type of Martian evil spirits who do not like foreigners (read: Earth colonists). Lots of violence/fight scenes and a great deal of dismemberment and decapitations. The audience seemed really geared up for Ghosts, probably because they were radio station promo winners and wanted to be there.

Some negatives though. There was a lot of laughing at unintentional places, due to the ridiculous dialogue. Also, I never understood the mentality of cops and bad guys hooking up and becoming buddies, especially with the bad guy (Ice Cube) becoming a good guy spouting cliched dialogue indicating he's now a good guy. Ice Cube is particularly nasty at the beginning of the film, but becomes quite likeable and heroic by the end. If Carpenter had kept this film really tense between the main characters throughout, I think it would have made a much better film. The bad guys are, well, bad, but they are easily killed so they don't seem to have any special powers or strengths. But there's lots of them, so they keep on coming.

I really like John Carpenter and have followed his career for years, but I've felt his films to be uneven over the last few years. Ghosts of Mars, while not his best work, is a worthwhile effort, a really fun B-movie. Hope you can use this.

Call me Thalberg