Hey folks, Harry here with the Madame of Movies, the Mistress of Word Thingees, uh... um, wel.. Um.... Ok, well I've got Alexandra DuPont and her vision-thing about JOSIE & THE PUSSYCATS... All I can think of though is Rachel Leigh Cook. She is... Rachel Leigh Cook with little fuzzy wuzzy ear thingees... droooooooooool.... Best for objective lady thing look movie, cuz me go slobber at thought.... (drip drip drip) Here's Alexandra....
Holla, Harry et al. Excuse me as I shamelessly
appropriate Mr. H. the Strong's convenient FAQ format:
*****
I. TODAY'S SUBJECT:
"Josie and the Pussycats." Based on the Archie Comics
title (though really, let's be honest, based on the
long-defunct Saturday-morning cartoon show). Starring
Rachael Leigh Cook (Josie), Rosario Dawson (Val), Tara
Reid (Melody), Missi Pyle and Paulo Costanzo
(Alexandra and Alexander Cabot) and Gabriel Mann (Alan
M) -- plus Alan Cumming and Parker Posey as the
villains. Featuring cameos by Seth Green, Serena
Altschul, Carson Daly, Jann Carl and Mr. Moviephone
(don't ask). "Written" and directed by Harry Elfont
and Deborah Kaplan.
*****
II. THE GOOD NEWS:
The movie's not NEARLY as bad as the advertising would
lead you to assume. That's not to say "Josie and the
Pussycats" is GOOD, mind you; it's just that it's
peppered with some genuinely funny moments amid some
genuinely inept moments. That and -- again, despite
what the advertising would lead you to believe -- the
movie does retain the silly-adventure format of the
cartoon show, which was something of a relief.
*****
III. THE BAD NEWS:
The genuinely inept moments are pretty bloody inept,
and ultimately make this movie a failure. More on that
in a minute.
*****
IV. BUT FIRST, A NOT-SO-FUN LINK: SOME INFO YOU, AS A
COMICS-LOVING GEEK, WILL MOST LIKELY WANT TO KNOW vis
a vis THE "JOSIE" MOVIE
The following is taken from the Feb. 8 "Comic Wire"
column at the excellent ComicBookResources.Com:
"Dan DeCarlo, creator of Archie Comics' house style
and the characters Josie and Sabrina the Teenage
Witch, was dealt a major setback in his battle with
his former employer in January, when a federal judge
dismissed his lawsuit against the company. DeCarlo
worked for Archie for 43 years before Archie Comics
terminated their relationship last spring in response
to DeCarlo's suit, wherein he tried to assert his
ownership of Josie prior to the release of the live
action 'Josie and the Pussycats' film this summer...."
Want to read the whole sordid tale? It's really kind
of sad.
CLICK HERE TO READ!!!
*****
V. ANYWAY. WHAT'S THE STORY?
The Pussycats are just another struggling garage band,
scraping by while playing bowling alleys for 20 bucks
(minus their shoe-rental fees! Oh, the humanity!).
They're "discovered" by Alan Cumming's record-company
weasel, who works for an utterly insane record-company
exec (played to perfection by Parker Posey). Mayhem
ensues when the Pussycats (a) become international
sensations in one week, (b) discover that they BECAME
international sensations because the record company
planted subliminal messages on their album to turn
teens into consumer zombies, and (c) are forced to
deal with rabid fans, evil supervillain record execs,
a homicidal Carson Daly and manufactured intra-band
friction. It's wacky fun!
*****
VI. SO HOW ARE THE SONGS?
Well, let's just say it's "not my sound." The
Pussycats' songs certainly have decent enough melodic
hooks -- but the music also suffers (fatally, I think)
from that half-assed quality that results whenever
creators of polished pop try to capture the
garage-band sound. Even worse, the best song of the
bunch -- the inimitable "Josie and the Pussycats"
theme ("ears for hats" and all that rot) -- is buried
in the end credits. It's a criminal mistake.
That said, the movie also features an extremely funny
(if utterly obvious) spoof of the boy-band look and
sound. "Back Door Lover" by DuJour -- a fictitious
group that counts Seth Green among its membership --
is a dead-on parody; it wouldn't surprise me a bit if
the song actually charted. The few moments with DuJour
are easily the funniest in the film, and you wish
there were more of them -- though, to be fair, boy
bands also present a mile-wide target for parody,
don't they?
*****
VII. AND WHAT ABOUT THE MOVIE'S EXCESSIVE PRODUCT
PLACEMENT, WHICH I KEEP READING SNIDE REMARKS ABOUT
HERE at AICN?
The rumors are not exaggeration: This is by far the
most brazen and insidious and just plain evil product
placement I have EVER seen in a movie, period. I doubt
it will ever be topped. I'm talking carpeting with (if
memory serves) a giant REVLON logo burned into it. I'm
talking a romantic aquarium scene with a giant (again,
if memory serves) Evian logo plastered behind the
fish. It actually distracts from the drama, if you can
in fact call this "drama." Ad-wise, watching this
movie felt like *surfing the Web*, for pity's sake.
What's sort of evil (or sort of brilliant -- I can't
decide) is that "writer"/directors Elfont and Kaplan
try to have it both ways -- making vicious fun of
consumer culture even as they're showering it on you
with the pee-spraying enthusiasm of zoo monkeys.
Whether Elfont and Kaplan actually SUCCEED at having
it both ways is up to you; me, I needed a moist
towellette when the credits rolled.
*****
VIII. WHAT'S GOOD?
1. If you squint hard enough and put on your Dumb Hat,
the "vast consumer conspiracy" storyline and
depictions of pop-culture-worshipping teens are
actually pretty amusing -- and certainly go a long way
toward explaining the popularity of O-Town.
2. Cook, Dawson and Reid look adorable in their cat
ears and are just incredibly sprightly and charming
and game -- often despite an insipid lack of
compelling dialogue. Special praise goes to Rosario
Dawson, who lends unexpected gravity to her role (she
seems smarter than everyone in the room at all times),
who has a non-anorexic body, and who has perfected the
sneer that Archie Comics cartoon characters exhibit
when they're feeling cocky or sly. She's a real find.
3. Also better than occasion demands: Missi Pyle (Tony
Shaloub's twittering alien love interest in "Galaxy
Quest") as Alexandra. Same goes for Alan Cumming, who
oozes Swinging London cool, even when bailing out of
an airplane in a bid to kill DuJour. And Parker Posey.
Well. Much as she did in "Scream 3," Ms. Posey steals
the movie. There's one specific scene in which she
commits the theft -- a freakish bit in which she tries
to be "one of the girls" and host a slumber party for
Josie et al. Before long, she's trying to out-skinny
Rachael Leigh Cook and uncontrollably lisping. Believe
me -- I was as shocked as you to find myself laughing
at this crap.
4. There are bloopers at the end. Bloopers are funny.
*****
IX. WHAT'S NOT SO GOOD?
1. Well, the ESSENTIAL problem with "Josie and the
Pussycats" is one of pacing: Each and every time the
movie starts building a head of steam -- during the
boy-band sequences, say, or whenever Parker Posey's
acting gleefully insane-- the filmmakers decide again
and again and AGAIN to grind the film to a screeching
halt. This screeching halt takes pretty much the same
form every time it happens: Just when you're getting
sucked into the "Monkees"-esque absurdity, an
"emotional" moment involving the Pussycats is staged,
with "emotional" music swelling on the soundtrack.
Suddenly you can feel the puppet strings tugging
fruitlessly at your heart, and just as suddenly the
movie ceases to be interesting. These moments are
extraordinarily dumb and unnecessary; still, wee
little girls probably won't mind them too much.
Memo to Elfont and Kaplan: Didn't you watch "The Brady
Bunch Movie"? Didn't you watch "Charlie's Angels"?
Those movies worked because they AVOIDED just the sort
of grinding-halt moments you embrace! Alas!
2. Poor Tara Reid: Her character isn't funny-stupid,
it's embarrassing-stupid -- coming off like Phoebe
from "Friends" after selective brain surgery that
leaves her unable to embrace abstract concepts. I
blame the script, not the actress.
3. In the cartoon, Alan M was always sort of a diet
version of Fred from "Scooby-Doo," and that's saying
something. Here, as embodied by Gabriel Mann, he's a
stereotypical sensitive blue-collar-hipster drip -- a
melding of all the worst qualities of James Spader and
Beck. Ewww.
*****
You have been duly advised. The Talk Back is now open
for drooling commentary on the various assets of Cook,
Reid, Dawson et al. Sigh.
Warmest,
Alexandra DuPont
I am the best writer on this site! I dare you to claim otherwise!
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