Hey, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab.

As you know if you're a MR. SHOW fan, we've been running a special series of articles brought to you by BOB ODENKIRK, all of which have redefined the parameters of hard-hitting entertainment journalism, offering you a searing inside look at the filmmaking process. Leave it to Bob to blow the lid off the seamy world of test screening with this latest transmission. This just appeared at the Moriarty Labs earlier today, and I think it's well worth your attention...

OFFICIAL RELEASE TO PRESSES

DOBBS CLIP SCREENED! – SCIENCE GUARANTEES MOVIE WILL BE A HIT!

A carefully chosen one and a half second scene from “Run Ronnie Run, The Ronnie Dobbs Story, A Mr, Show movie” (a NewLine Cinema/Globo Chem Co-Release) was screened for an audience. The screening was done at Globo Chem’s labs.

The audience member, a youth named “Billy T.” from Pasadena, California, who was discovered awaiting his scheduled time at “Lazor Tag!”, filled out a survey card after the screening, and below are his answers.

Would you recommend the movie?

“I’d recommend the movie go fuck itself.”

Who were the funniest characters in the movie?

“Ronnie Dobbs. He’s a funny dipshit motherfucker. (Please excuse any spelling errors.)”

How much would you pay to see this movie?

“Two Dollars every 22 minutes.”

How far would you drive to see this movie?

“Normally, about two miles. But if I was high or drunk, maybe ten. But I’d be going to the same theatre, I’d just take the long way.”

If you had a choice between seeing this movie for a first time, or seeing it a second time, which would you choose?

“I would like to see it a second time, first, because then I would already know I liked it before blowing the bucks.”

Would you say this movie made you want to hurt yourself, or anyone else?

“Yeah. But not more than everything else.”

Do you despise your parents?

“I hate my parents. I don’t do anything about it, though, if that’s what you mean.”

What kind of music do you listen to?

“Godsmack. Because they mean it, and they will never change their personal philosophies even after they split up, have kids, and try to open studios in their garages.”

What’s the last movie you saw twice?

“That thing about the killer guy who eats people and acts real fancy about it. Hanible. Hani-bull. Habilnanl... something like that.”

If this movie were a plant, what would it be?

“Is there such a thing as a shit-plant? Ha ha. But seriously, I think it would be a movie-plant... a plant that you watch and laugh at and then it’s over.”

What is the most memorable scene from the movie?

“I don’t remember the movie because I have a short-term memory loss based on the fact of getting hit in dodgeball in gym class. But it was worth it because of the excellent coordination skills that dodgeball instilled in me.”

Now that you’ve seen the movie, would you see it again and pay next time?

“What choice do I have?”

Would you buy a cereal that was formed into the shapes of the characters of this movie?

“Yes.”

Please put this movie on a scale of rewarding-ness using these movies as your scale: “Small Soldiers” and “Monkeybone”.

“Small Soldiers totally Blew, but I found it to be an occasionally cutting critique of consumerism. Monkeybone was excellent until that Doctor-guy came on, after that it tanked hard.

Can you burp the “Star Spangled Banner”?

“So, you’re aware of my legend. Excellent.”

After reading the above report, NewLine/GloboChem execs declared themselves, “Ecstatic! Really ecstatic! It’s like getting a blowjob and screwing at the same time! Better than that, even.”