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Mastidon From BNAT: VALKYRIE!!


Merrick here...


..with a look at VALKYRIE from my man Mastidon, who saw it last weekend at BNAT.


Here's what he had to say...

Hi Guys,

Mastidon here again. I wasn't planning on writing a review on VALKYRIE since Merritcat wrote one (HERE) from her unique point of view as the only German attending. However, I realized that I too at BNAT had a very unique point of view as the only American attending who has lived in Germany for the past 9 years.

Directed by: Bryan Singer
Written by: Christopher McQuarrie & Nathan Alexander
Starring: Tom Cruise, Kenneth Branagh, Bill Nighy, Tom Wilkinson, Eddie Izzard, and Terrance Stamp
Opens: Dec. 25 USA, Jan. 22 Germany, Jan. 23 UK
Rating: 4 1/2 stars out of 5

OK, I want to start off and get the obvious issue out of the way. I think Tom Cruise is a fucking nutbag. Need I say more? But I think on rare occasions he can act. BORN ON THE 4TH OF JULY was by far his best example of this but who among us in the geek community doesn't like RISKY BUSINESS? Or JERRY MAGUIRE? I can't imagine anyone else starring in any of those movies. Let me draw a BNAT parallel. Now by no means am I saying Tom is 1/10 as good an actor as this man as he still stands as one of the greatest actors of all time, but he was a fucking nut. And unlike Tom whose Scientology space crap dose not directly cause people sadness, this guy would come to your town and piss in your face right after the moment you lost somebody you love. Yes, this can only be Charlton Heston. I personally think he was not only a fucking nut, but a hurtful son of a bitch who hopefully is burning in hell as I type this. That said, do I not love PLANET OF THE APES or think BEN HUR was not one of the greatest movies of all time? Of course not. I could not imagine anybody else in those roles. So cut Tom a little slack. He has proven he can act sometimes. And just because he is a fucking nut that is no reason to shun this GREAT film.

So why is it great? You know the ending going in. You know they failed. Hitler lived. Big spoiler, right? It is great because Bryan Singer is the perfect director to keep up suspense combined with pulling the best performances out of people. USUAL SUSPECTS anyone? HOUSE? And maybe he did not quiet nail SUPERMAN RETURNS to your geek pleasure, but he certainly nailed this one. And in the process, he shows you key pieces of the story that I never knew about even though we were taught about this in my middle school in New Jersey. He did the research, he put in the time and fought with the German government to shoot the film where it needed to be shot and not on some soundstage with a CGI Berlin but in the real locations. Singer took every care to make sure it was historically accurate from the costumes and sets to the script. In short, he took the care that needed to be done to do this story justice.

About the accent issue, I agree with the way it is handled. Take a great distinguished Shakespearean actor like Kenneth Branagh and have him put on a fake German accent? It doesn't work. Or take the other extreme of CHE and have everything done in German with subtitles? Then the amount of people to see this film would be far less. Singer's compromise is to start off with Cruises narration in German with subtitles and slowly fade to English. This is the only way I can see doing it with still keeping the film commercial.

There are so many fascinating little bits to this story of how it all came down such as the German signaling office sending both sets of messages. It is a intriguing look at how easy it was for a small group of people who nearly brought down the Nazi regime. Imagine how many lives would have been saved or what the state of the world would have been like today? Merritcat's uncle died in the last weeks and days of the war. He would have bee alive today as he was 20 when he died. In the late '50s and early '60s a large Turkish population moved to Germany to help rebuild it as migrant workers. Most are still there today. None of this would have been necessary had Valkyrie succeeded. I can tell you from my own personal experience that Germans even today do not like to make waves. They will rarely question authority and will follow orders. This is what makes what these men did even that much more surprising and shocking. This is a story that everyone needs to know.

This film is one of Singer's best works. It shows that he has grown as a director from not only expertly telling a fictional story but to take a factual one and make it intriguing and entertaining. You will be doing yourself a disservice if you avoid it. I can only tell you from my own personal experiences that this is an important film and should be on your radar to see if not in the cinema but sometime soon.

Until the next time....

Ciao,

-Mastidon




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Reader Talkback

First!
by hypnotron
Dec 21st, 2008
04:10:23 PM
This is my 2nd first this week alone...
by hypnotron
Dec 21st, 2008
04:10:57 PM
Titty fuck time!
by Fa Fa Fooey
Dec 21st, 2008
04:11:04 PM
Looks like a good movie too...
by hypnotron
Dec 21st, 2008
04:11:47 PM
I am a geek
by Taklamakan
Dec 21st, 2008
04:19:15 PM
Um...
by KDog629
Dec 21st, 2008
04:21:35 PM
hmmm...
by macheesmo3
Dec 21st, 2008
04:24:20 PM
Let this be a lesson for you all...
by UltimaRex
Dec 21st, 2008
04:33:42 PM
Heston in hell?
by Le Phantom
Dec 21st, 2008
04:36:56 PM
odd
by malcolm_mccallum
Dec 21st, 2008
04:43:00 PM
Tommy and scientology
by Le Phantom
Dec 21st, 2008
04:45:02 PM
HESTON NOT IN HELL
by Earthquake WestCoast
Dec 21st, 2008
04:57:14 PM
Heston
by kwisatzhaderach
Dec 21st, 2008
04:57:45 PM
"I can tell you from my own personal experience that Germans eve
by crackerfarmboy
Dec 21st, 2008
05:06:54 PM
Who here has been bullied by Scientology anyway?
by Damien Chowder
Dec 21st, 2008
05:18:41 PM
Resume
by Le Phantom
Dec 21st, 2008
05:18:51 PM
Damn You Michael Bay
by MCMLXXVI
Dec 21st, 2008
05:28:28 PM
Chowder head
by Le Phantom
Dec 21st, 2008
05:29:30 PM
Heston in hell = nipples on Batman
by The Dum Guy
Dec 21st, 2008
05:30:24 PM
Heston in Hell? Fuck you ignorant douche.
by jimmy_009
Dec 21st, 2008
05:42:03 PM
....
by The Dum Guy
Dec 21st, 2008
05:44:08 PM
Le Phantom....
by CullenisPrime
Dec 21st, 2008
05:50:46 PM
"It's rough and tumble, it's wild and woolly and it's a blast!"
by JackPumpkinhead
Dec 21st, 2008
05:54:56 PM
By the way, is this Mastidon guy Jondough?
by JackPumpkinhead
Dec 21st, 2008
05:57:51 PM
Huh?
by Le Phantom
Dec 21st, 2008
06:12:04 PM
Mastidon is Jondough's Husband
by BroVinny
Dec 21st, 2008
06:20:01 PM
Mastidon
by Toonol
Dec 21st, 2008
06:31:08 PM
I am choking on the stupid comparisons...
by Sithtastic
Dec 21st, 2008
06:33:17 PM
Nutbag? Really?
by Rogue4
Dec 21st, 2008
06:36:21 PM
Wow. Another writer on AICN pushing their agenda for the world.
by RetroActive
Dec 21st, 2008
06:45:06 PM
Sithtastic
by mastidon
Dec 21st, 2008
06:49:22 PM
Why is Chuck Heston burning in hell?
by JackIsLost
Dec 21st, 2008
06:53:23 PM
RetroActive
by mastidon
Dec 21st, 2008
06:56:05 PM
Waco
by Le Phantom
Dec 21st, 2008
06:58:20 PM
So what does Heston have to do with this film?
by mrfan
Dec 21st, 2008
07:11:17 PM
what does heston have to do with scientology?
by alice 13
Dec 21st, 2008
07:29:30 PM
My personal opinion
by CoffeeShop
Dec 21st, 2008
07:43:30 PM
Branagh Has Done Nazis Before...
by stanton29
Dec 21st, 2008
07:51:59 PM
If the reviewer wanted a better comparison...
by JackIsLost
Dec 21st, 2008
07:59:29 PM
Your problem Mastidon is that you're jealous
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Dec 21st, 2008
08:28:18 PM
Jerry Maguire?
by HoboCode
Dec 21st, 2008
08:30:10 PM
Heston in Hell
by Thrillho77
Dec 21st, 2008
08:34:51 PM
the man made fantasies of Heaven and Hell continue..
by quantize
Dec 21st, 2008
08:40:24 PM
Accents
by chavee
Dec 21st, 2008
08:44:11 PM
Nazis.
by Tin Snoman
Dec 21st, 2008
08:46:31 PM
Heston is in heaven...
by MrD
Dec 21st, 2008
08:50:42 PM
Get your paws of me...
by TheBloop
Dec 21st, 2008
09:19:17 PM
Mastidon
by neurosis
Dec 21st, 2008
09:44:01 PM
I came here for the Scientology hate
by MurderMostFowl
Dec 21st, 2008
09:54:06 PM
good job AICN, what an horrible review
by the milf lover
Dec 21st, 2008
10:11:26 PM
Stengah
by Le Phantom
Dec 21st, 2008
10:30:10 PM
i didnt understand much of the first paragraph
by BMacSmith
Dec 21st, 2008
10:46:14 PM
Don't tell merritcat they taught you about this in middle school
by thebearovingian
Dec 21st, 2008
10:54:42 PM
YOU HAD ME AT NUTBAG ...
by BringingSexyBack
Dec 21st, 2008
10:58:27 PM
I FEEL THE NEED ... THE NEED FOR SIEG!!!
by BringingSexyBack
Dec 21st, 2008
10:59:03 PM
Scientologists LOVE Paul Blart: Mall Cop
by Nasty In The Pasty
Dec 21st, 2008
10:59:51 PM
MAMMA MIA MADE ME SMILE THE WHOLE TIME. CAN VALKYRIE DO SAME?
by BringingSexyBack
Dec 21st, 2008
11:03:09 PM
THE GERMAN FIRM
by BringingSexyBack
Dec 21st, 2008
11:04:46 PM
I FEEL THE NEED ... THE NEED TO PEE!!!
by BringingSexyBack
Dec 21st, 2008
11:05:47 PM
DAMN YOU DIRTY HESTON
by BringingSexyBack
Dec 21st, 2008
11:10:11 PM
Anyone Stupid enough to be a Scientologist..
by robzass
Dec 21st, 2008
11:10:37 PM
A FRIEND OF MINE HAS BEEN PURSUED BY THE SCIENTOLOGISTS FOR YEAR
by BringingSexyBack
Dec 21st, 2008
11:14:59 PM
IS JONDOUGH TAKEN CARE OF?
by BringingSexyBack
Dec 21st, 2008
11:18:03 PM
I MUST TYPE IN ALL CAPS
by Sir Loin
Dec 22nd, 2008
12:15:41 AM
I'D RATHER BE A SCIENTOLOGIST THAN A FUCKING MORMON!
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Dec 22nd, 2008
12:17:32 AM
Yeah, I don't get the Chuck Heston hate.....
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Dec 22nd, 2008
12:19:09 AM
Stay in Germany, asshole
by criticalbliss
Dec 22nd, 2008
12:23:09 AM
Tom Cruise COME OUT OF THE CLOSET!!
by mooniewawee
Dec 22nd, 2008
12:30:27 AM
an American living in Germany...
by captainCAPSLOCK
Dec 22nd, 2008
12:37:47 AM
It's true ppl...
by mfcorleone
Dec 22nd, 2008
12:46:16 AM
Sizzlers too healthy. I'd say like the Hometown Buffet.
by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD
Dec 22nd, 2008
12:51:30 AM
Mastidon - You Are Indeed A Dumbshit
by DudeOne
Dec 22nd, 2008
01:14:21 AM
Mastidon calls Cruise a nutbag...
by Breotan
Dec 22nd, 2008
01:39:50 AM
slaughterstorm
by slaughterstorm
Dec 22nd, 2008
01:53:30 AM
CALLING ALL GERMANS!!!
by bobaswart
Dec 22nd, 2008
02:47:03 AM
Mastidon - Fucking Nutbag
by masteryoda007
Dec 22nd, 2008
03:26:04 AM
I know where you're coming from Mastidon...
by scottishnutjob
Dec 22nd, 2008
03:55:53 AM
Singer should stay away from comic book films!
by oldshit
Dec 22nd, 2008
04:39:00 AM
As an American living in Africa
by Xiphos_2
Dec 22nd, 2008
04:45:45 AM
and stick to making films like this & Usual Suspects
by oldshit
Dec 22nd, 2008
04:57:06 AM
I happen to think Tom Cruise is awesome.
by Knuckleduster
Dec 22nd, 2008
06:03:43 AM
AS AN AMERICAN LIVING IN AMERICA I ENJOY PISSING OFF SIR LOSER
by BringingSexyBack
Dec 22nd, 2008
06:22:44 AM
Ahem...
by rutgersjaffo
Dec 22nd, 2008
07:24:44 AM
I, too, would love to see Heston in hell.
by Zarles
Dec 22nd, 2008
07:25:07 AM
Stopped reading after the Heston remarks.
by fanboy71
Dec 22nd, 2008
07:38:38 AM
I was a soldier and a Police Officer...
by fanboy71
Dec 22nd, 2008
07:40:22 AM
Well, i don't venture far from my birth country...
by DarthBakpao
Dec 22nd, 2008
07:42:27 AM
Not so fast, scottishnutjob
by theBigE
Dec 22nd, 2008
07:43:32 AM
Worst. review. ever.
by Rocco Curioso
Dec 22nd, 2008
07:44:24 AM
What's Vanilla Sky doing on your list?
by theBigE
Dec 22nd, 2008
07:44:49 AM
Why does every Tom Cruise talkback
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Dec 22nd, 2008
08:14:29 AM
Wasn't that whole review just a bit pointless?
by Brody77
Dec 22nd, 2008
08:23:51 AM
We all know Hilter wasn't assassinated, so there's no suspense
by Speed Fricassee
Dec 22nd, 2008
08:29:16 AM
But that's like saying why make Titanic
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Dec 22nd, 2008
08:32:28 AM
jondough and Mastidon
by DocPazuzu
Dec 22nd, 2008
08:43:30 AM
DocPazuzu
by mastidon
Dec 22nd, 2008
08:51:05 AM
Valkyrie looks ok, but seriously....
by Orbots Commander
Dec 22nd, 2008
08:51:19 AM
Orbots Commander
by mastidon
Dec 22nd, 2008
08:54:03 AM
Mastidon, yeah, but...
by Orbots Commander
Dec 22nd, 2008
08:59:21 AM
fanboy71
by mastidon
Dec 22nd, 2008
09:00:24 AM
Orbots Commander
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Dec 22nd, 2008
09:01:17 AM
Grammaton, maybe...
by Orbots Commander
Dec 22nd, 2008
09:08:13 AM
I didn't know the price tag was that high, but
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Dec 22nd, 2008
09:14:22 AM
Has anyone ever seen the tv version of this
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Dec 22nd, 2008
09:15:44 AM
Gonna See This With my Dad
by Autodidact
Dec 22nd, 2008
09:31:11 AM
First thing Hitler did was ban all guns
by joshtownsend
Dec 22nd, 2008
09:36:17 AM
If I were running UA, as is Cruise...
by Orbots Commander
Dec 22nd, 2008
10:20:37 AM
Worst review of all time
by batjac
Dec 22nd, 2008
10:34:22 AM
Talkback Jumping the Shark.
by jcrash
Dec 22nd, 2008
10:38:59 AM
But In the Line of Fire, a great Eastwood flick
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Dec 22nd, 2008
10:39:46 AM
batjac
by mastidon
Dec 22nd, 2008
10:44:55 AM
JeZeus!
by seppukudkurosawa
Dec 22nd, 2008
10:54:31 AM
GUNS DONT KILL PEOPLE. PEOPLE KILL PEOPLE.
by BringingSexyBack
Dec 22nd, 2008
11:00:41 AM
Who needs an accent anyways... Blunder = 8-10 mil opening.
by wowsucks
Dec 22nd, 2008
11:18:17 AM
As for Cruise being a nutjob - hence why he's an *actor*
by VAWitch
Dec 22nd, 2008
11:18:17 AM
Singer Was No Where Close to Nailing Superman...
by DarfurOnTheRocks
Dec 22nd, 2008
11:18:50 AM
''IMO what is bad is the way Heston and the NRA...''
by Breotan
Dec 22nd, 2008
11:22:57 AM
I agree Singer is NOT top game by anymeans.
by wowsucks
Dec 22nd, 2008
11:26:43 AM
Breotan
by seppukudkurosawa
Dec 22nd, 2008
11:29:40 AM
Heston "ovoeracting"
by greyspecter
Dec 22nd, 2008
11:32:49 AM
Stengah,
by Sick Fixx
Dec 22nd, 2008
11:48:08 AM
Valkyrie does not exist in this dojo
by Cobra--Kai
Dec 22nd, 2008
11:56:15 AM
Tom vs Major Dundee ??
by How2fish
Dec 22nd, 2008
12:27:27 PM
Holy moses, that was a shitty review
by Rickey Henderson
Dec 22nd, 2008
12:40:17 PM
"Evidently they do care..."
by Breotan
Dec 22nd, 2008
01:04:11 PM
The real reviews are not being as nice.
by mrfan
Dec 22nd, 2008
01:24:26 PM
Here's my review from a unique perspective
by ArcadianDS
Dec 22nd, 2008
02:26:16 PM
DOT! DOT! DOT!
by BringingSexyBack
Dec 22nd, 2008
02:55:18 PM
Hooray for revisionist history by AICN talkbackers
by Lovecraftfan
Dec 22nd, 2008
03:05:47 PM
MAMMA MIA > X2
by BringingSexyBack
Dec 22nd, 2008
03:15:52 PM
Facts tripping you up Mastidon?
by Dark Knight Lite
Dec 22nd, 2008
03:21:54 PM
HINDSIGHT IS ALWAYS 20/20
by BringingSexyBack
Dec 22nd, 2008
03:25:27 PM
So pissed off I didn't even read the review
by Dark Knight Lite
Dec 22nd, 2008
03:26:30 PM
Mastadon
by fanboy71
Dec 22nd, 2008
03:26:32 PM
IT'S LIKE HOLDING A HEROIN CONVENTION IN TOWN
by BringingSexyBack
Dec 22nd, 2008
03:33:03 PM
Worst. review. ever. so true.
by Yoda's Ball Sack
Dec 22nd, 2008
03:42:49 PM
fanboy71
by mastidon
Dec 22nd, 2008
03:48:48 PM
Yoda's Ball Sack
by mastidon
Dec 22nd, 2008
03:52:11 PM
Answering some people, no I am not a Scientologist.
by Damien Chowder
Dec 22nd, 2008
05:00:41 PM
They have heroin conventions?
by Xiphos_2
Dec 22nd, 2008
05:18:09 PM
Masturdon = Dumbest AIC Reviewer EVER
by Partyslammer
Dec 22nd, 2008
05:19:36 PM
Best religion ever is the religion of greed
by Stormwatcher
Dec 22nd, 2008
05:27:35 PM
Cruise has a body of work that is better than Hestons
by barnaby jones
Dec 22nd, 2008
05:32:36 PM
Mastidon: on the NRA/Heston post-Columbine reason...
by The Dum Guy
Dec 22nd, 2008
05:37:53 PM
The Dum Guy
by mastidon
Dec 22nd, 2008
07:11:12 PM
Partyslammer
by mastidon
Dec 22nd, 2008
07:15:29 PM
Mastidon = World's Worst Review
by DudeOne
Dec 22nd, 2008
07:28:09 PM
WHAT'S WRONG WITH JUMPING ON A SOFA?
by BringingSexyBack
Dec 22nd, 2008
07:50:45 PM
XIPHOS - MERRY CHRISTMAS, I HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY
by BringingSexyBack
Dec 22nd, 2008
07:51:50 PM
Look on the bright side...
by UltimaRex
Dec 22nd, 2008
08:05:43 PM
For the next review
by dogrobber
Dec 22nd, 2008
08:17:22 PM
Also a question for mastedon
by dogrobber
Dec 22nd, 2008
08:53:24 PM
Mastidon - hurtful sonuvabitch that should burn ...
by Lamerz
Dec 22nd, 2008
10:07:07 PM
Bullet-ridden yuletide greetings to all!!
by Lamerz
Dec 22nd, 2008
10:09:54 PM
Mastidon
by Toonol
Dec 23rd, 2008
12:07:58 AM
Heston = Legend, Cruise = fine actor
by Thot
Dec 23rd, 2008
12:26:33 AM
'ALL HAIL BREOTAN'
by bobaswart
Dec 23rd, 2008
01:13:00 AM
So, the only thing I got from this...
by JonRD463
Dec 23rd, 2008
01:48:13 AM
Mastidon:
by board shitlez
Dec 23rd, 2008
02:21:36 AM
I'd love to see Heston in Hell!
by I_am_not_the_droid_you_are_loo king_for
Dec 23rd, 2008
04:04:20 AM
board shitlez & all of my other fans
by mastidon
Dec 23rd, 2008
06:54:59 AM
dogrobber
by mastidon
Dec 23rd, 2008
07:02:09 AM
Thanks man!
by board shitlez
Dec 23rd, 2008
07:44:33 AM
This movie will be great
by theplant
Dec 23rd, 2008
08:01:33 AM
I_am_not_the_droid_you_are_loo ki ng_for
by Grammaton Cleric Binks
Dec 23rd, 2008
08:05:58 AM
A++++ like 100% of the movies Hollywood churns out
by theplant
Dec 23rd, 2008
08:11:17 AM
THIS MOVIE IS GETTING HAMMERED IN THE MAINSTREAM REVIEWS
by BringingSexyBack
Dec 23rd, 2008
08:33:36 AM
LAMERZ
by BringingSexyBack
Dec 23rd, 2008
08:44:24 AM
Oh, that's great, BSB. So by extension, then ...
by Lamerz
Dec 23rd, 2008
09:26:45 AM
NAH, JUST PLAYIN'
by BringingSexyBack
Dec 23rd, 2008
09:52:56 AM
BSB
by Xiphos_2
Dec 23rd, 2008
10:41:30 AM
Lamerz
by Xiphos_2
Dec 23rd, 2008
11:06:34 AM
XI - IT'S FUCKING COLD HERE
by BringingSexyBack
Dec 23rd, 2008
11:54:12 AM
chetedawg
by mastidon
Dec 23rd, 2008
03:20:54 PM
BSB if you want to warm up
by Xiphos_2
Dec 23rd, 2008
04:00:22 PM
"Masturdon = Dumbest AIC Reviewer EVER"
by Yoda's Ball Sack
Dec 23rd, 2008
04:11:48 PM
Benjjamin Button Review
by mastidon
Dec 23rd, 2008
04:33:44 PM
Heston in Hell?!
by The_Breeze
Dec 24th, 2008
12:22:44 AM
My Mom
by Toonol
Dec 24th, 2008
05:08:01 PM
Toonol
by mastidon
Dec 25th, 2008
03:38:29 PM

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