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Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with today’s installment of A Movie A Day.
[For those now joining us, A Movie A Day is my attempt at filling in gaps in my film knowledge. My DVD collection is thousands strong, many of them films I haven’t seen yet, but picked up as I scoured used DVD stores. Each day I’ll pull a previously unseen film from my collection or from my DVR and discuss it here. Each movie will have some sort of connection to the one before it, be it cast or crew member.]
Can we just state for the record that Robert Shaw is the coolest badass to ever exist? Sure, we have the Churchills, the MacArthurs, the Alexander the Greats, the Genghis Khans, etc, etc, etc and they can’t be under appreciated for how badass they are, but damn, guys. If Robert Shaw had thought to conquer the Western world, he would have put them all to shame.
Case in point, today’s movie BATTLE OF THE BULGE, following screenwriter Philip Yordan from yesterday’s crime noir gem DILLINGER. Technically he’s only credited as screenwriter on this film, when in actuality he was a front for blacklisted screenwriter Bernard Gordon. He did still produce the film, though, if you wanted to be a stickler about the bridging system.

If you don’t know about the famous battle this film takes as its backdrop, it’s the German Hail Mary push in December of 1944, a tank push that damn near snatched the victory from the grip of the Allies. The plan involved the assistance of an English speaking squad that was spread within the Allied ranks doing everything they could to assure victory while not blowing their cover.
The film is a nearly 3 hour multi-character war epic toplined by Henry Fonda as the only high ranking officer to suspect the Nazis are still going strong when everybody else assumes the war is all but over. The first act of the movie is split between him and Robert Shaw as Col. Hessler, a superstar Nazi officer noted for his unwavering dedication to success and expertise in tank command.
While Fonda is busy gathering tidbits of intel and trying to make a case that the Allies should be more on their guard, Shaw is being convinced that he will be given the tools it takes to launch this last ditch effort to change the tides of battle.
Needless to say, it takes much less time for Shaw to be shown what he needs to see than it takes the Allied Generals and when the Panzer attack begins.

From here on out it’s a mad scramble for the Allies as Robert Shaw pushes them further and further back. Really, if this maneuver had been made without a ticking clock (the Nazis only had roughly 50 hours worth of full-attack supplies) then the world would be a very different place today.
The movie is essentially the Allies in constant retreat, desperately trying to figure out a way to stop the badassity of Robert Shaw… Futile, I tells ya’. Can’t be done.
Great character actors pepper this thing. Telly Savalas plays an enterprising tankman running a business on the side, selling the finer things of France and America to the troops and locals. He’s a bit of comic relief, but when you piss off Telly Savalas the comedy falls completely. That’s another badass mofo you don’t want to have you in his crosshairs.
New favorite of mine, Robert Ryan, plays the General who makes the best of the situation, responding with backbone, intelligence and fortitude.
Dana Andrews is paired with George Montgomery… opposites if there ever were. Andrews is terrified when the shit hits and even though he outranks Montgomery, it’s ol’ George who takes the lead. Andrews has the best arc of the movie, starting out yella (notice he’s not even yellow, but yella), but finding his courage after he fucks things up past the point of rescue.
Charles Bronson pops up (as was law for any epic Western or War film shot between 1960 and 1970) as hardass Major Wolenski who has a great scene as a POW with Robert Shaw. I suppose if one man could throw his balls on the table next to Shaw’s and come away with a draw it was mid-‘60s Charles Bronson.

Fonda is fine in the movie, but he must have been a little pissed when he read the script and was offered the lead. Sure, it’s top billing, but his character has almost zero growth. He’s right at the beginning, he’s right at the end and in the middle he does little but drive around and use binoculars. He does play a big part in the sweet finale, but just looking at it from a character perspective he doesn’t go anywhere.
Robert Shaw is the reason to watch this movie. I know that’s really surprising coming from me, but I swear it’s true. He gives Hessler depth and paints him in shades of grey. He’s a man obsessed, just as Ahab, just as Quint, just as Hitler himself, but his insanity doesn’t fully show itself right away. He’s tempted by doubt at the beginning, but by the end he’s alienated his true friends and laid bare his thoughts.
He views the war as unwinnable. The allies can win, but Germany can not. They can, however, sustain an indefinite war, which is what he’s fighting for. He likes fighting, that’s his reality.
The flick is cinemascope widescreen and looks amazing in Technicolor. I linked to the standard def DVD above, but I watched it on HD-DVD (also available on the still existing high-def DVD technology) which only impressed upon me the great work of DoP Jack Hildyard (who also shot BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI).
The filmmaking in general is strong, with the exception of one or two unimpressive model tank shots that looked like two kids playing war with remote control tanks they got for $19.99 at Walgreens. I hate even pointing those shots out because we’re talking maybe 2 or 3 shots in a movie that probably used 200-300 tank shots. The rest of the tank work was awesome.
I didn’t feel the length of the movie at all, which is good. Nothing’s worse than having to count down 170 some minutes if you’re bored out of your skull. I think the only error in pacing is that the final battle at the allied fuel yard happens too quickly. It’s awesome, but just too fast, especially following the epic final stand tank battle between Robert Shaw’s forces and Robert Ryan’s forces.
Final Thoughts: This is a must see if only for Robert Shaw, only a couple of years removed from his role in FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE (he’s supporting the same hair-style in this one, no less). The cinematography and tank action is top notch and there’s enough men’s men testosterone-filled icons of cinema in this one to entertain anybody. There’s also a nice one-scene appearance by the lovely Pier Angeli as Telly Savalas’ partner in blackmarket goods who uses his love for her to make him acknowledge his humanity. You might remember her from past AMAD Somebody Up There Likes Me where she played the Adrien to the late, great Paul Newman’s Rocky. If you go for this flick, go for the HD experience. Technicolor in HD is better than bad oral sex.

The schedule for the next few days is:
Monday, September 29th: DAISY KENYON (1947)
Tuesday, September 30th: LAURA (1944)
Wednesday, October 1st – Friday, October 31st: H-MAD! Horror Movie A Day! Check out the list here!
Tomorrow we hit Fox Noir DAISY KENYON, following Henry Fonda. We’re only two days from the beginning of the All Horror AMAD October! I’m getting into the spirit of the season already! Are you?
-Quint
quint@aintitcool.com

Previous Movies:
June 2nd: Harper June 3rd: The Drowning Pool June 4th: Papillon June 5th: Gun Crazy June 6th: Never So Few June 7th: A Hole In The Head June 8th: Some Came Running June 9th: Rio Bravo June 10th: Point Blank June 11th: Pocket Money June 12th: Cool Hand Luke June 13th: The Asphalt Jungle June 14th: Clash By Night June 15th: Scarlet Street June 16th: Killer Bait (aka Too Late For Tears) June 17th: Robinson Crusoe On Mars June 18th: City For Conquest June 19th: San Quentin June 20th: 42nd Street June 21st: Dames June 22nd: Gold Diggers of 1935 June 23rd: Murder, My Sweet June 24th: Born To Kill June 25th: The Sound of Music June 26th: Torn Curtain June 27th: The Left Handed Gun June 28th: Caligula June 29th: The Elephant Man June 30th: The Good Father July 1st: Shock Treatment July 2nd: Flashback July 3rd: Klute July 4th: On Golden Pond July 5th: The Cowboys July 6th: The Alamo July 7th: Sands of Iwo Jima July 8th: Wake of the Red Witch July 9th: D.O.A. July 10th: Shadow of A Doubt July 11th: The Matchmaker July 12th: The Black Hole July 13th: Vengeance Is Mine July 14th: Strange Invaders July 15th: Sleuth July 16th: Frenzy July 17th: Kingdom of Heaven: The Director’s Cut July 18th: Cadillac Man July 19th: The Sure Thing July 20th: Moving Violations July 21st: Meatballs July 22nd: Cast a Giant Shadow July 23rd: Out of the Past July 24th: The Big Steal July 25th: Where Danger Lives July 26th: Crossfire July 27th: Ricco, The Mean Machine July 28th: In Harm’s Way July 29th: Firecreek July 30th: The Cheyenne Social Club July 31st: The Man Who Knew Too Much August 1st: The Spirit of St. Louis August 2nd: Von Ryan’s Express August 3rd: Can-Can August 4th: Desperate Characters August 5th: The Possession of Joel Delaney August 6th: Quackser Fortune Has A Cousin In The Bronx August 7th: Start the Revolution Without Me August 8th: Hell Is A City August 9th: The Pied Piper August 10th: Partners August 11th: Barry Lyndon August 12th: The Skull August 13th: The Hellfire Club August 14th: Blood of the Vampire August 15th: Terror of the Tongs August 16th: Pirates of Blood River August 17th: The Devil-Ship Pirates August 18th: Jess Franco’s Count Dracula August 19th: Dracula A.D. 1972 August 20th: The Stranglers of Bombay August 21st: Man, Woman & Child August 22nd: The Little Girl Who Lives Down The Lane August 23rd: The Young Philadelphians August 24th: The Rack August 25th: Until They Sail August 26th: Somebody Up There Likes Me August 27th: The Set-Up August 28th: The Devil & Daniel Webster August 29th: Cat People August 30th: The Curse of the Cat People August 31st: The 7th Victim September 1st: The Ghost Ship September 2nd: Isle of the Dead September 3rd: Bedlam September 4th: Black Sabbath September 5th: Black Sunday September 6th: Twitch of the Death Nerve September 7th: Tragic Ceremony September 8th: Lisa & The Devil September 9th: Baron Blood September 10th: A Shot In The Dark September 11th: The Pink Panther September 12th: The Return of the Pink Panther September 13th: The Pink Panther Strikes Again September 14th: Revenge of the Pink Panther September 15th: Trail of the Pink Panther September 16th: The Real Glory September 17th: The Winning of Barbara Worth September 18th: The Cowboy and the Lady September 19th: Dakota September 20th: Red River September 21st: Terminal Station September 22nd: The Search September 23rd: Act of Violence September 24th: Houdini September 25th: Money From Home September 26th: Papa’s Delicate Condition September 27th: Dillinger
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