Ahoy, squirts! Quint here with El Chivo's first report from Toronto. I love that he skipped out on a bigger flick to hit a smaller one on the first day. WALTZ WITH BASHIR sounds fascinating, like a more hardcore version of PERSEPOLIS and JCVD just seems to be the fun-awesome movie of this fest season. Enjoy the words from El Chivo, or as we say here... The Chivo...

TIFF has begun! In the name of nervous, Canadian pride the Toronto International Film Festival has opened each of the past few years with a homegrown whimper as the first evening's big red-carpet event. This year's sure-to-be-a-misfire was PASSCHENDAELE. I skipped it. Yeah, yeah, I should see it before I judge it. Just try to make it through the trailer. Smells to me like A VERY LONG CANADIAN ENGAGEMENT.

Even though the first day of TIFF does not start until evening, there were still a couple of films to catch.

WALTZ WITH BASHIR

This is probably the most "serious" film in which Ron Jeremy has been thanked in the credits. That weird fact actually relates to why this will not be received as this year's PERSEPOLIS; it's just too raw for mass consumption. Israeli writer/director Ari Folman gives us his autobiographical, rotoscoped search for lost memories of when he was a soldier during the 1982 war when Israel invaded Lebanon. The story is the best thing here, and it is given justice by not watering it down at all. The violence and sexuality feel like they exist in fair measure in relation to the events at hand. Themes of guilt and memory prove compelling, while mild attempts at humor (little kid clowning in the background) mostly do not. I loved the evolving color palette throughout, but was seriously put off by the bombastic score music. The five non-score songs were well-chosen, especially Cake's crazy reworking of "I Bombed Korea" into "I Bombed Beirut." My TIFF People's Choice Ballot: 3 out of 4.

JCVD (aka "Jean-Claude Van Damme")

I would love to hear Vern's take on this one. TIFF pushes most of its films worthy of Fantastic Fest into a category called Midnight Madness. The programmer for this section, Colin Geddes, referred to JCVD as the best film he saw in the market at Cannes. Certainly this is the best thing Jean Claude has ever done, other than perhaps BLOODSPORT, of course. The audience received it wildly, in spite of the man himself being a no-show due to directing a movie in Thailand. In the film Jean Claude plays himself, just trying to establish a life away from Hollywood, back in Brussels. No one just lets him be. However, this is no feeling-sorry-for-himself role repeating the tired celebrity message of just what a pain-in-the-ass it is to be famous. No, the honestly extends from everything about how embarrassing most of his film roles have been, to comments I wouldn't dream of spoiling about Steven Segal and others. Tone-juggling was handled expertly by director Mabrouk El Mechri. The film starts off with a stunning, single-take action piece and appears to continue at the same, playful pace for most of the film, before grinding to a halt and getting very serious. Serious, as in breaking the fourth wall serious. And then back to the rollercoaster. Most everything works. The only things I didn't like were the violins during the wall-breaking and one of the flashbacks telling us plot points we have already figured out by then. My TIFF People's Choice Ballot: 4 out of 4.

More good stuff tomorrow including Ritchie, Linklater and Gervais. I am "El Chivo."