Hey folks, Harry here… I’ve got to go out and buy some new cables to take full advantage of my new toys – but decided to bang out this next Tuesday’s column so you folks get it in advance of this Tuesday as I should always have it for ya. As always – you can click on the box art or titles for links to Amazon – where you can learn more about the title and/or purchase the title in question -- and yes, I get an 8% commission to help support this column’s existence. This is the last big week of release this year – the following few weeks will be a bit sparse – as the industry figures we’re all broke from the Holidays. But don’t worry – I’ll cover the lean weeks as well. Here ya go…

Tuesday, December 18th, 2007

THE SIMPSONS MOVIE

It has its funny gags, it’s definitely worth owning with your Simpsons seasons – but is it the film I was hoping for? Not really. But then, I’m not even sure if I know what that is. I suppose I wanted a film that made me cry laughing non-stop for the entire film. I wanted a film so funny, that I missed whole sequences because I was laughing so hard my eyes shut, so I’d have to watch it 5 or 6 times before I could even catch everything in the film, alas – it’s just a funny good film. Glad it turned such a profit, perhaps they’ll nail it the second time out.

BLADE RUNNER – 5 Disc Ultimate Collector’s Edition ( HD DVD )

And the award for best release of 2007 goes to… That’s right, this set. Not only is it coming out in HD above, but in Blu Ray as well as Standard Def - but this briefcase comes with a Spinner and a copy of that iconic Unicorn origami and even more fun. It comes with 5 versions of the film… The recently released “final cut” – the original 1982 theatrical cut, the 82 international cut and the 1992 Director’s cut… but my fave – and by far the rarest to us Blade Runner geeks…. The Workprint version of the film. In HD – this set is an absolute must have – but if you’re a film geek, this is absolutely THE release of 2007 – and we’ll be geeking about this set for years to come!

ONCE

One of the best films of 2007, this is a small unexpected jewel of a musical, something that you don’t necessarily expect and could have only come out of the independent film world, but will become a beloved classic with each passing year. It feels like it is the musical cousin to Linklater’s “BEFORE” series. If you love musicals or romance this is something you can’t miss.

STARDUST

This could very well be my favorite film of 2007. I love love love love love this film – and have watched my HD DVD copy about 7 times this week so far. It is so completely – all at once – romantic, fantasy-filled, dynamic and sends me dreaming of sailing the high skies, wooing celestial bodies and slaying undead would be kings. I love how perfect Charlie Cox is as the adventurer – the brilliance of Robert DeNiro in my favorite supporting turn he’s down in years. I love bottling lightning and cannibalistic immortality. I love how one adventure can take a boy and spit him out a man. I love Neil Gaiman and for the very first time… he’s been captured at 24 frames per second – and that’s exactly how I’ll watch this film – in stunning perfection. The making of is so delightful, specifically for Neil… watching his guilt over the work on the film – and from whence the story came… LOVE IT! There’s only one thing wrong with STARDUST… When I originally saw the film, long before release… the film ended with Ziggy Stardust’s STARMAN… I believe it was their recording and not PETER, BJORN & JOHN’s take… but whatever version it was… it was so fucking perfect that tears erupted from my eyes and I began shaking. It was metaphysically perfect… just the perfect song at the perfect place. I can only assume that they couldn’t get the rights… or that Paramount didn’t pay up for the song. I have to say – I wish to god that was the end title song. I miss it, but I fear I am the only one.

UNDERDOG

Just nowhere near the dream I had for this movie. But then, I think I’m the only person that envisioned a humanless universe where the animals walked upright, wore clothes and that they had created the civilization upon the face of Earth. And that Underdog had a special “hit” of power in his ring. However, for what it is… it is not a great adaptation of the original material – but it is fun. And kids like it. They really really do. Besides… it stars the Dink! And the Dink rules!

HALLOWEEN – Unrated Director’s Cut

I love everything NEW about this film and hate everything used. As I watched this film – I found myself hating that this was a remake, I hated that the character’s name was Michael Myers. Throughout the film, I found myself wishing that Rob would have renamed everyone and made this his own tale about a new unstoppable killing machine, because his instincts are fantastic for the obscene. Tyler Mane’s performance as Michael is scary and brutal – but when he was forced to re-enact scenes… like when he dons the sheet – it felt out of character, for the version of the character that he was playing. I liked how he toyed with his victims, how he studied the death, just as he did a small animal as a boy. That said… this isn’t a pimple on the ass of Carpenter’s original. As far as the Unrated cut goes – it is more brutal, more graphic – but the problem scenes are still problematic and destracting enough to derail my enjoyment of the whole.

THE ADVENTURES OF YOUNG INDIANA JONES, Vol. Two – The War Years

AHA! WWI Indy, at last you’re mine! These older adventures of Indiana Jones in World War I, was.. well my favorite part of the Young Indy series. Indy as a soldier and as a spy led to thrilling adventures and to get to see ATTACK OF THE HAWKMEN again… joy! They’ve done a fantastic job on these sets and it makes me wait in eager anticipation for the inevitable HD releases next year of the INDY theaterical series. Right? They’ll do that, right? Please tell me they’ll do that! I wants them so badly! I do.

BRAVEHEART

Had I not been sent a free review copy, I would not have bought this. PARAMOUNT HOME VIDEO – where’s the HD DVD? I just do not understand why they felt the need to come out with this “special collector’s edition” and not bring this film to the HD world, where it so richly belongs to reside. What makes this edition special? A commentary by Mel Gibson, but folks if you have a copy of BRAVEHEART already – just hold off – this isn’t really that special of an edition.

THE MOD SQUAD – Season 1, Volume 1

11 and a half hours of Julie, Pete and LINC!!! Thiese hipster pigs, undercover narcs… these hypocritical radicals fucking rocked. MOD SQUAD, not the remake, was a very fun and BIZARRE show. From the awesome opening credits through the most politically volatile movements of the 60’s – this show was a trippy attempt by the networks to grab ahold of the times, as they were a changin’. The character of Linc was always my favorite, he was arrested during the Watts riots. The woody stationwagon always spoke to me – cuz for a while as a kid, my family had one. This is one of those “half a season” boxes – which ordinarily I don’t dig, but this is MOD SQUAD – and til someone makes IT’S A MOD MOD MOD MOD WORLD – what am I to do?

NATIONAL TREASURE – 2-Disc Collector’s Edition

A fun goofy Adult version of a juvenile cartoon mystery/treasure hunt. Had Scooby Doo shown up – it would have been… well, just that much more fun. It’s totally absurd, but damn if it isn’t fun absurdity. I love the idea that somehow – the treasure of Alexandria is in some undiscovered crypt under Wall Street. – there needs to be great treasures like this discovered all over the place… like when they recently found that sunken ship of Captain Kidd. I love that shit. This is obviously a tie-in dvd to help promote NATIONAL TREASURE 2, which is apparently a Globe Trotting adventure, which I hope is just as silly and crazy as the first one – and will only be more absurd, because… well it’ll be the SECOND treasure they find. No need to double dip on this, unless you just fucking love NATION TREASURE, but ya know what – it’s fun for the kids and the kids at heart.

BALLS OF FURY

Available in the above HD and Standard Def - is this fun little light comedy starring Dan Fogler – a rising comedy talent that you’ll all know as Hutch in next year’s FANBOYS. BALLS OF FURY is essentially a comedic version of ENTER THE DRAGON, but with Ping Pong. It is what I would call… Disposable Comedy. One of those, watch it once and let it go – type of things. It seems to be missing a lot of character development and sometimes plays like a series of skits based on ENTER THE DRAGON, but I like Fogler. He doesn’t get on my nerves… not yet anyways.

HATCHET – Unrated Director’s Cut

Buy it and have every horror loving friend of yours over and have a Hatchet party. For a HATCHET party – you need Mardi Gras beads – a couple of lady friends that’ll show their tits on cue – and plastic covers for the furniture and carpet – because you’ll wanna get bloody! Cuz this is Bloody fun! Adam Green’s debut horror film is a blast! Victor Crowley is like Jason on some sort of redneck meth concoction. And watching this Unrated is TOTALLY THE WAY TO GO. The MPAA fucked Adam’s theatrical cut six ways to Sunday – and this is the version that played Fantastic Fest 2006 to standing ovations and screaming audiences. I’ve watched this film about 20 times over the last 2 years… soon you’ll be able to do the same!

THE EVIL DEAD (Ultimate Edition)

Yeah, I know… it’s been 3 weeks, time for a new DVD of THE EVIL DEAD… right? Well, I have to pick this one up because AICN’s Capone is all over the extras… like a plague. What do you get? Well – it’s 3 DVDs. A documentary: ONE BY ONE WE WILL TAKE YOU: THE UNTOLD SAGA OF THE EVIL DEAD. You have a commentary by Sam Raimi and Robert Tapert… and one by Bruce Campbell, but that’s on the second disc over a FULL SCREEN presentation of the film! Who the fuck wants a FULL SCREEN version? (Harry looks at his head and notices the dunce cap, for forgetting this was shot in 16mm and full screen is the correct aspect ratio - and realizes he showed his ass to everyone. Ouch, that stings) Stand up, so you may be shot! On this second disc you get Treasures from the Cutting Room Floor – but then the third disc is where Capone shows up – he’s all over the panel stuff. I just wish there was a video of THE EVIL DEAD stage play on here – cuz that would be the ultimate ultimate… right?

THAT’S ENTERTAINMENT – The Complete Collection

Now here’s something to get giddy about! Now honestly – I’d prefer if every film referenced in this 3 film set were out on HD. Here you have THAT’S ENTERTAINMENT I, II and III. What I can’t wait for are the Technicolor musical numbers and well… watching classic Astaire in HD perfection. The set is also being released in Blu Ray! That said – if you love musicals and have an HD player of some sort – this is the gold that’ll keep paying off until they finally start flooding the market with the musicals we love!

NEW ADVENTURES OF THE LONE RANGER AND ZORRO

Over 5 hours of these two Masked Horse Riding Heroes! I loved this series as a kid and now – I own it! Yes, I can return to those thrilling days of yesteryear and check out this childhood fave. I preferred the live action versions of both these characters – but as a kid – this was all that was new in the early eighties. This is a great way to introduce these characters to little kids, then blow their minds with the older flashier versions!

ALICE IN WONDERLAND (xxx)

Probably my favorite Seventies Porn. Imagine a slightly Fellini-esque porn telling of ALICE IN WONDERLAND… but as a musical. And the songs aren’t that bad. I saw this, younger than I ever should have… and have never been able to not think of Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum as fingercuffing Alice. This isn’t anything like modern day porn, this is strange, bizarre and actually entertaining. And I promise, it’ll even be weirder than whatever Tim Burton is going to do with the story. The only thing they missed was… They didn’t do a Mad Hatter’s TeaBagging Party… but then, this was made in the seventies and I don’t think that slang term came about till a bit later.

LEGEND OF DINOSAURS & MONSTER BIRDS (1977)

If you love “funky awesomeness” then THE LEGEND OF DINOSAURS & MONSTER BIRDS is for you. Me – hell I’d pick it up for the title alone. Who doesn’t want a movie about Dinosaurs and Monster Birds? Aren’t you curious? Doesn’t the art speak to that goofy primal inner retard? It does mine.

ALIEN APOCALYPSE

You see that box. Shut your eyes and imagine Bruce Campbell and a hot lady as Astronauts that return to earth to find it taken over by Aliens and now they have to free mankind and lead a revolt to repel the Alien bastards back into the heavens from whence they came.

OK – WAKE UP – this is by no means the dream you just imagined. This is a depressing reality of massive sucking power. It will just depress you. In fact – it’s so aggravating because you know and I know that they above plot… starring Bruce Campbell, but at 1/10th the budget of Transformers would be 20 billion times better than TRANSFORMERS. Alas… I just don’t think we’ll ever see that day come to pass.

KNIGHTRIDERS

I can’t seem to find out if there’s anything about this edition that is better than this one , other than the grittier cover, but as I don’t have a review disc – I can not tell if it even has any extras. The only thing I can comment on is that it is 4 dollars cheaper than the older edition. This is one of the most fun movies that Romero ever made and you really must see Savini and Ed Harris in this film. They rule.

Starlite Drive-In Collection: Cult Classic – A Dust Til Dawn Marathon ( THE POM POM GIRLS, THE VAN, HUSTLER SQUAD, WILD RIDERS, MADMEN OF MADORAS, THE DEVILS HAND, VAN NUYS BLVD, LITTLE LAURA & BIG JOHN )

This is a damn fun time at home. I applaud this gathering of these films – packaged in double features and assembled as an all night marathon of exploitation – you have eight exploitation films for $22. THE VAN is hilarious, HUSTLER SQUAD and POM POM GIRLS are my faves… and LITTLE LAURA & BIG JOHN, that’s one you’ll just have to find out for yourself.

Ok – that’s it for this coming Tuesday of releases – next week we’ll get to look at Cronenberg’s EASTERN PROMISES, BATTLESTAR GALACTICA 1980 – The Complete Epic Series, PAN’S LABYRINTH in HD, THE KINGDOM, SHATTERED, THE HEARTBREAK KID, TIMECOP, the Nastassja Kinski CAT PEOPLE, The Harry Langdon Collection, MOVIESIDE FILM FESTIVAL and frankly – that’s about it. We’re getting too close to Christmas and they pull back on their releases – so next week I might include the first Tuesday of 2008, which is also January 1st… which brings us SHOOT EM UP, WAR, WEIRD SCIENCE the series, BILLY JACK, INDIE SEX and JIMMY AND JUDY.