Hey, everyone. “Moriarty” here.

As remakes go, THE BRAVE ONE is very strange. The original, written by Dalton Trumbo, was an oddly heartwarming story of a little boy obsessed with bullfighting who runs away from home so he can go see his favorite bull. Unless I stepped out of the room and missed something, there’s not a single bull in Neil Jordan’s new version of...

... hold on a moment...

... okay, it appears I am insane. Obviously, this new Jodie Foster vehicle is not a remake at all, but considering how the title of the film means absolutely nothing in regards to the film, it seems strange that they would use the title of a beloved classic that won Trumbo a Best Screenplay Oscar.

All silliness aside, this practically is a gender-switched remake of DEATH WISH, and it’s a troubling film on several levels. Technically, it’s quite accomplished. At this point in his career, Neil Jordan could direct home videos of midgets giving handjobs to homeless people, and I have no doubt they would be visually commanding and well worth watching. But all the technical sophistication in the world can’t salvage the bubble-headed script by Roderick Taylor & Bruce A. Taylor and Cynthia Mort.

Similarly, both Jodie Foster and Terrence Howard do good work in the film. I think Howard gets more and more confident as he gets more exposure, and when you put him up against a strong performer, he gives as good as he gets. There are few actors working today who are able to wear their emotions as close to the skin as Foster, and so she makes a hell of a match for Howard. Unfortunately, as I said, there’s that script to contend with, and all the great acting in the world can’t cover the problems that are inherent to the material.

What problems? Well, it depends on what you want from the movie. If you’re just looking for a morally-confused action film in which Jodie Foster shoots some fuckers, then THE BRAVE ONE will probably more than satisfy you.

But if you think that a film like this has an obligation to at least explore the ideas that it raises, then THE BRAVE ONE will probably disappoint you as much as it disappointed me. I know that when I saw it on Monday night, the audience applauded several scenes in the film, and that visceral reaction is a testament to just how effective Jordan was at putting this together. But the way the film is structured, and the way the film is played, it’s obvious that there’s some comment that the filmmakers are trying to make about violence and revenge and our gun culture. It’s just that they have no idea how to clarify those ideas. The film seems to want it both ways... they want the emotional kick of shooting scumbags, but they also want to ladle on the angst and remorse. Considering the way the film ends, these two wants couldn’t be less resolved. Essentially, the film lets everyone off the hook and resets everything, meaning there’s no moral weight at all to the actions in the film.

This is one of those movies where conservatives can attack the film for pushing a liberal agenda, and liberals can attack the film for being uncomfortably conservative. That should be a clear indicator that the film doesn’t work in terms of message. And, no, not every film needs to have a message. But if it’s not going to actually say something significant, it would be nice if this at least worked dramatically. I think what I found most annoying is the way revenge actually seems to be such a small part of the film. For a revenge fantasy, this film seems to forget about revenge until late in the game. Most of the violence that Foster commits is against random people. The first person she kills is a robber in a convenience store that she just happens to walk into. The second incident takes place on a subway, where a group of black kids inexplicably escalate from stealing an iPod to almost raping Foster with a knife in about three minutes. And then the third incident, the silliest in the whole film, involves an underage hooker and a dude in a car, and it’s almost comical how random Foster’s involvement is, and how over-the-top the violence becomes.

In the end, a film like this will probably make some coin, and I’m sure some people will enjoy it for the bits and pieces that work. Nicky Katt deserves to be singled out for the work he does here, which should come as no surprise. He’s become one of the most reliable character actors out there in terms of nailing a punchline.

But I can’t help feeling like this is a missed opportunity, a botched job. I don’t understand how such wafer-thin material attracts Jordan and Foster and Howard, or how they shot it without demanding something more. The only name that really makes sense in the credits is Joel Silver, and if this is him making a bid for credibility and respect by hiring classier cohorts than normal, then maybe next time he’ll remember to give them something to do that’s worthy of all the talent he brought to the table.

Drew McWeeny, Los Angeles