I am – Hercules!!


“Doctor Who’s” 29th season, currently unfurling on something called “the BBC,” hits America’s SciFi Channel on July 6.

Here’s what our British cousins thought of 29.12, “The Sounds of Drums.”

“DJ Bollocks” says:

Ok so let's start by saying THIS is the penultimate episode...

Starts off with a total cop out our Tardisless crew travel in time without the Tardis via Cap'n Jack's teleport system and pissed away in a flashback and within seconds they've recognised that the newly elected Prime Minister Harold Saxon is The Master. Doctor fused the Tardis circuitry at the end of the last episode so that he could only travel to where the Tardis had just been... Fuck this is going to get complicated...

Saxon introduces himself on telly and the infamous quote What this country really needs right now is a doctor..."

A journo manages to get her way past Martha's sister Tish who is an aide in Downing Street to Mrs Saxon but she is loyal to her husband - we hear allusions to the downfall of Harriet Jones... The Archangel Network... and then killing talking globes kill her... Did I mention Saxon has just killed his Cabinet ?

Sharon Osbourne ? McFly ? Anne Widdecombe ? They all pledge their allegiance to Harold Saxon...

Lots of recaps of prior alien visits to earth - Saxon looks to to allay the fears of the UK by telling them he's been in touch with an alien race the Toclafane. Meanwhile he's looking to destroy Martha's family by destroying her flat whilst she The Doctor and Cap'n Jack are still in it... Martha tries to warn her family but they are all captured and whilst they remain on the run the Doctor and The Master finally converse about the Time War...

"The Dalek emperor took hold of the Cruciform..."

Lots of Time War chat on the phone

"All we've got is each other..."

"The drumming never stops..."

The 3 of them are now wanted as Terrorists - "Public Enemies 1,2,and 3" - and Torchwood can't help as they are are in the Himalayas on a wild good chase...

"He's got control of everything..."

"The never ending darkness is coming..."

"Tell your people... The World Is Waiting..."

Grabbing tim for a bag of chips we have a bit of Gallifrey chat - Citadel of the Timelords... and a look at the Untempered Schism (?) which potential Time Lord schoolboy academic look into to realise the enormity of Time and Space - it's this that made The Master insane...

"That's when The Master saw eternity..."

Then we discover what The Archangel Network is, thanks to a message the journo had pre sent in the event of her death, to Torchwood - it's in the phone network - it's a subconcious code that's in the phones that's brain washed people - an A team style rewiring of some Tardis software that changes people perception

"It's like when you fancy someone and they don't even know you exist..."

The president of the US (Winters) arrives and demands that the UK stands down and demands that UNIT takes over - it's going to happen on the USS Valiant and the US President will be taking over - The Master is happy to accommodate him so long as it still appears on TV !

"He's a timelord which makes him my responsibility.... I'm not here to kill him, I'm here to save him..."

Martha's family emerges from an armed Police van after the two leaders meet and everyone's off to the Valiant

Cap'n Jack's teleport device is used again

And we discover that the Valiant is an air station in the sky and our intrepid three find the Tardis but The Master has changed it to become a paradox machine and everyone is on the bridge as the time of first contact is nigh...

We then find out he has a Laser Screwdriver and that he gave Professor Lazarus the knowledge to make The Lazarus device - if only he had some of the Doctor's Genetic Code - which of course he has after taking the Doctor's hand as cut off in the Christmas Invasion and reintroduced last week...

The doctor is transformed to become 100 years older... but that's not the end of the episode....

In with the Jones family....

And enter the Toclafane....

The skies open the 6 billion balls take over and these are are our would be assasins... Was it just me that was thinking the Dalek technology from Daleks in Manhattan ?

Cap'n Jack and the Martha realise that they need to regroup....

Martha escapes via teleport with everyone she cares about in the hands of The Master and watches as the human race falls...

This is going to take a couple of viewings as it's really action packed... another 4.5 LASER screwdrivers out of 5 - not sure about hammy John Simm yet..... But this is very much like old school Who - and a Jelly Babies reference to boot !

See you next week...

“A C Warrilow” says:

Forgot every other episode you’ve ever seen of the new series, forget it all, because this is the best, ball tearing, knuckle whitening, sphincter clutching biggest episode of Doctor Who you are ever going to see. I know, I know big call.

John Simms owns The Master, Jon Pertwee always said that he preferred the face of his enemy, and you can so GET what he is saying, forget a heavy prosthetics or the stalk of a Dalek (ohherr) . This is the crutch of what this episode, the Doctor vs The Master, he is a real, honest to God baddie.

After last weeks brilliant Utopia, the show just quickly disposes of last weeks cliffhanger and gets straight into Jack, Doctor and Martha back in London... you know I would be doing you a great injustice if I go into too much. Sort of if I had given away the plots to the two other series cliff hangers we have seen. And I’m sure the others will do all that, but if my review gets towards the top, do yourself a favour and just wait and watch and enjoy. OH and make sure you never get disturbed.

On a side note.

Captain Jack should really be in Dr Who, he brings such a presence and I would happily sacrifice Torchwood (oh I feel bad saying that) To see him in Dr Who permanently. He just brings that muscle and adventure that doesn’t seem to ever pay off in Torchwood.

So many cool bits, no spoilers

When Jack admits to the Doctor he is now a part of Torchwood and the incidental music from the spin off kicks in

Not a bad plot hole sewed up as to how the Master returns and regenerates.

The pop song ‘Voodoo Child’ by the Australian Group Rogue Traders kicking in at the perfect possible moment.

We learn more of the Timelord lore and clips of the Master as a child, we see Timelords as they were in the original series, we see the citadel and the skies of Gallyifrey.

The Cloister bell ringing

A sky base!!!

The big fuck off to America big bully politics.

Stand by for the kick arse cliff hanger of the century !!!!

Is it up there with - 'I'm going to rescue her ... I'm going to save the Earth ... I'm going to wipe every stinking Dalek out the sky! Rose - I'm coming to get you."

If it's not better it would be equal, that's my two cents.

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