Hey, everyone. ”Moriarty” here.

I’ve had a look at this one m’self, and I’ll be bringing you my review a little closer to the release date. I’ll say this much: TURTLES fans have every reason in the world to be happy.

Let’s see what this spy thought when he saw an early screening:

I was lucky enough to get to a screening of TMNT on Sunday at the Empire cinema in London. Thought I’d try and pull some kind of review together. First, a little history regarding me and the Turtles. I fucking loved the 90’s cartoon. It was the cartoon of my childhood, When I look back at my time as a kid a Teenage mutant ninja(hero for us in the UK) turtle is never far away. I loved the first film and had no real problems with the second one at the time. Even in my younger days I knew 3 was a pile of crap though. I also got to see the original film again last year at a local cinema and it gave me a new appreciation for it. It worked on a completely new level for me. I got some more of the humour, picked up on the darker tones more and I loved it all over again. So that’s me and the turtles in a nutshell. I was really psyched to get the chance to catch this early and I’ll be ever grateful to the friend that sorted the tickets.
So on to the movie it’s self. I’ll try and avoid spoilers but I might let a few things slip here and there so be warned.

First off the movie does look awesome, the city, the people, the monsters, the turtles all look gorgeous. A couple of the set pieces were eye watering. Everything moved with such fluidity and pace. The action scenes were also well done and well choreographed, maybe a couple of them could of done without the fast cuts that make it difficult to see what’s going on but I can live through that. The comedy elements all hit the right notes; I was chuckling when I should have been. There didn’t seem to be any sly comedy nods at the adults that you get in Pixar movies and the like but it still worked for me. The movie is only 80 odd minutes long and as such moves along at lightening pace and never really misses a beat.

I’ve heard grumbles from people regarding the changing roles of Casey and April so I’ll give you my feelings on that. Casey is still trying to be a low level vigilante but not doing great, (he’s a skinny guy with a bag full of old bats so I don’t know why he thinks it’s a good idea but hey.) So he hasn’t really changed from the film he’s just a bit more bumbling but in the end that’s to serve a plot point. Again April not being a news reporter and being some kind of Lara Croft girl now, was a little more grating but it was an avenue into the story. Lazy writing maybe but I got over it easy enough.The other thing about April is she now fights. This wasn’t a problem for me as I felt April would probably start training with the turtles anyway. Why not? A girl gotta keep her figure. The bad point of the flick for me was the overall story. It was a bit lame, lazy writing as I said before, everything is a bit too convenient at times and the whole thing was a bit tired. Tyrannical ancient warrior King wants to be Immortal, opens a portal to another dimension, becomes immortal but nasty beasties are released as a result. Fast forward 3000 years or so(That sounds too long but I’m sure that’s what he said.) and the portal can be reopened. Tyrannical king has change of heart and wants to undo what he has done. Fortunately for him all the beasties that were released end up in New York at exactly the same time for a reason that is never explained and he has to catch them all.

As I said I didn’t like this story, lots of holes and lots of things that are never explained. It seems odd to say I didn’t like the story but overall I loved the film but I felt the story took second spot the look of the thing.

I think if they do more (Which I guess they’re going to judging by the end) then the story aspect will get better.

Obviously the other part to the story is the struggle between Leo and Raph that culminates on the roof top. This worked better for me so I know they can pull off a decent narrative. By the way the fight on the rooftop in the rain is fantastic. Best looking CG imagery I’ve seen. Any way back to the bad points. I’m sorry to say but Mako’s voice didn’t work for me. I don’t know why but it just didn’t sound like Splinter for me. The only other thing I can really think of is that the acting wasn’t up to much. It’s weird to say that about a CGI movie but it really did seem to be badly acted at times. I still can’t get my head round it but again I think that’s some thing that will improve if this team goes on to make other Turtle films. So overall I gotta say I loved it. It took me back to my childhood a little and is uncomplicated escapism. If you’re an eight year old kid this will be the best movie you see all year I guarantee. For the rest of us if you can put away that critical eye and sit back and just let it wash over you, you should have fun.

If this is used, call me by my talkback handle, Affleckwasthebomb