Greetings humans, Monki here yet again with your weekly wrap-up on all things video game.

Not a lot has been going on over here in the treehouse aside from me playing a lot of DOOM. Playing all that Doom got me thinking about something that has been bugging the hell out of me lately, but you'll read about that further down.

Looks like another "extreme" sports star is cashing in on his fame. Travis Pastrana is throwing his name onto a rally-car racing game. The graphics look pretty sick though.

Los Angeles (October 4, 2006) - Codemasters today announced it has signed a non-exclusive agreement with U.S. pro racer Travis Pastrana, the star of this year's summer X Games and winner of the first ever X Games Rally event, to feature in DIRT: Colin McRae Off-Road, scheduled for release in 2007.

DIRT: Colin McRae Off-Road is the next generation of the genre leading, 8-million+ selling racing series. Set to be the most diverse and exhilarating off-road racing experience, the game is now in development for the PLAYSTATION 3 computer entertainment system, the Xbox 360 video game and entertainment system from Microsoft and PC.

Travis will contribute his voice for DIRT: Colin McRae Off-Road as the pre-competition presenter and introduce players to forthcoming race events, specific stages and car characteristics. If players blaze a trail to glory, he'll be ready to congratulate them on their performance and let them know if they’re ready to advance to tougher championships.

Okay, this next release really doesn't have a huge effect on the world of gaming, but I want you to step back with me in time. I remember in the 2nd grade, at lunch, sitting with friends passing around a "portable gaming device." This was years before GameBoy revolutionized the market. I'm speaking of those old school two double-A battery games where you "control" a character where in reality the game would just change different lights on the screen.

I particularly remember a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game where your turtle (Michelangelo, I believe) could only really move forward, jump and attack. Your foes ranged from a Foot soldier, to two Foot soldiers, and maybe a Mouser or two.

Another of those lunch-room games was Street Fighter 2, where you played as Ryu, and only Ryu. Again, move forward, jump, attack. I want to say that Zangief was the opponent? It's hard to remember after all of the chocolate milk and pizza benders I went on in elementary school.

So, that is my state of mind as I post this release. I almost passed it up, but I thought to myself, it must not suck to be a kid.

Los Angeles, Calif., October 3, 2006 – Performance Designed Products today announced its broad new lineup for this Holiday season of video gaming products for all ages. Four new affordable VG Pocket portable gaming systems featuring licensed games from Disney and Konami, and the innovative new Nerf Wireless Flexgrip controller from Pelican will be available this fall at retailers across North America.

For the young gamer audience are two new Disney Game It! systems from the VG Pocket portable gaming device line. The personal arcade units feature games based on either "Classic Pals," which include beloved Disney characters Mickey Mouse, Goofy and Donald Duck, or "Princess Pals," with popular Disney princesses such as Ariel and Cinderella. "Classic Pals" features easy to play 16-bit games such as, "Mickey's Apple Cart," "Goofy's Milk Mania" and "Donald's Tugboat Adventures," among many others. Games for "Princess Pals" include pick-up-and-play games like, "Fairy Godmother's Pumpkin Surprise," "Sebastian's Treasure Hunt" and "Flounder's Starry Night." The systems offer game play on a 2.5" high-resolution LCD screen and detailed, themed case design to add to the rich Disney gaming experience. Each system includes 12 pre-loaded video games for the suggested retail price of $39.99. Both Disney Game It! devices are now widely available at all major retailers.

Optional starter kits for each unit are sold separately and include one interchangeable faceplate, a carrying case, a lanyard/cleaning pad combination, one themed key light and an AV cable to allow kids to use the device as a controller, but see the action on a television screen. Available this August, Disney Game It! "Classic Pals" and "Princess Pals" starter kits will carry an SRP of $14.95.

Also available from the VG Pocket portable handheld gaming device line are the sleek, modern "Tablet" and "Caplet," featuring retro video game favorites. The "Tablet" comes pre-loaded with 25 classic 8-bit games including Frogger, a legendary game company Konami, for the suggested retail price of $29.99. It features a 2" backlit TFT display screen housed in a colorful round shell available in white, lime green, magenta and yellow. The system allows gamers to enjoy their favorite 8-bit games from the past, including timeless classic Frogger, everyone's beloved Sudoku, and other 23 fun games.

The "Caplet" includes 35 fun 16-bit arcade favorites including Space Invaders, Burger Time and more. The system has a rectangular shell available in blue, gray, orange and magenta, and also features a 2.5" backlit TFT display screen. The "Caplet" carries a suggested retail price of $39.99. The "Tablet" and "Caplet" are now available at retailers across North America.

Both the VG Pocket "Tablet" and "Caplet" will have plug ‘n play capabilities so that players can experience their favorite arcade games on a television screen. An A/V cable that provides TV connectivity is sold separately.

Available for the PlayStation 2 computer entertainment system this November, the new Nerf Wireless controller from the Pelican line of video game accessories has Nerf material on the outside and legendary Pelican performance inside. Ideal for all sports video games fans, the controller will be available in black, blue, orange and silver for sports fans to show support for their favorite teams during the game season, and be the coolest controller one can ever own at the same time. The Nerf game controller will carry the suggested retail price of $39.99.

Burger Time and Nerf Controllers! NERF! Do you know how many a controller would be saved if it was covered in Nerf at the treehouse? I remember destroying SNES controllers playing Street Fighter 2 with friends and at least one hole in my wall came from Ninja Gaiden on the NES. Good lord they don't make them as hard as they used to.

First up for this week's pretty images are some from the game DIRT, the one I mentioned earlier. These look pretty freakin' sweet. This'll be coming to the PLAYSTATION 3 and 360.

Last week I talked about the teaser trailer for L.A. Noire. Looking at that brief clip it looked as though the game may be in black and white only. That is untrue. Alas. I thought it would have been pretty cool to get a black/white crime drama.

The newer, full trailer is up now on Rockstar's site. Click here to go to Rockstar's site and check out the new trailer. Personally I think it looks really cool. I'm anxious to see how closely the game models resemble those in the trailer.

Also earlier in the week, Quint mentioned the Bioshock trailer he saw at X06. The trusty Kambell-Kid sent us that trailer from X06 and good lord does it look impressive. Check it out.

I'm going to make a confession. I don't play a lot of multiplayer online games any more. At least, I don't play a lot of multiplayer online games that involve headsets and voice chatting.

So, I'd womped my way through the first episode of DOOM this week and decide its time to show off some skills to other players on XBox Live. I jump into a quick cooperative match, cause that's how I roll.

There are four of us playing. E1M1. I take the lead, run off left, grab the green armor, flip the secret switch, jump through the wall, grab the rocket launcher and blue armor, punch my way through the back end of the pistol soldiers, kill an imp and end the level in about 20 seconds.

Pretty proud of myself, I sit back and listen to my cohorts (all randoms, no friends of mine).

"Dude, what the fuck? Why are you going so fast?" followed by a female voice saying, "I haven't played this game before."

Holy freaking hell. Have people stopped trying? First of all, why the hell would you play a game for the first time ever online if you can play single-player for a bit and at least figure out the damn controls. Secondly, at the instant the female gamer spoke up, the other two guys playing stopped what they were doing and started "wooing" said strumpet.

Have online communities really come to this? These guys sat there and did their damndest to sound funny and smart while I was off killing hordes of pinky demons and barons. I guess it worked for them though cause this female gamer said she'd add them to her friends list which is funny because I got an invite too after I had quit.

Solution: Microsoft (and SONY, whenever their service comes online) need to release some sort of a non-game related environment for people who would rather flirt instead of play to go. Imagine a stripped down version of The Sims where there were no tasks, just voice chatrooms (and eventually video chatrooms). Keep the damn socializing out of my first person shooters. I've had my headset unplugged ever since I made the mistake of joining in on the banter on an UNO game. To summarize the Penny Arcade guys, Voice Connection + Anonymity = Annoying Fucktards. Burn your headsets and just kill some damn demons.

Alright, that just about does it for this week's wrap up. I leave you with a sweet ass video of Human Space Invaders. A lot of people spent too much damn time making this.

So, if you have any game news for me, send it in! Until next week, back up the tree I go!