I am – Hercules!!

Word is at least one trade paper will reveal Wednesday morning that “Saturday Night Live” mastermind Lorne Michaels has confirmed the departure of longtime cast members Horatio Sanz and Chris Parnell.

Sanz denied any knowledge of his exit less than a month ago.

UDATED!!

Variety's story about the ousters has indeed manifested.

Finesse Mitchell will also be gone. Longtime performer and head writer Seth Meyers looks likely to take over Tina Fey's Update chair:

Poehler will be back on the "Weekend Update" desk. There's no official word yet on who will co-anchor "Update" with her, but -- despite published speculation about another contender -- all signs now point to Meyers taking on the gig. An official announcement is expected as early as this week.

Dane Cook will host the season premiere with musical guest The Killers.

The show is also getting a new director.

Read all of Josef Adalian's story here.

”Owwwwwww My God!! Oh Dear Lord, Oh God, Mother of All Things Holy!! Please Let This Nightmare Stop!! My Ass Is Fire!! My Ass Is Fire!!!!!! Owwwwwwww!!!! My Ass Is No More; It Has Been Replaced By Fire!!!!!”

Twenty minutes into Monday morning’s “Howard Stern Show” Howard played a cut from Norm Macdonald’s new comedy album that made me laugh so hard I nearly passed out. It starred Will Ferrell (doing his Harry Carey voice) and Norm re-enacting the first time two men decided to have sex with each other. It just builds and builds and builds as the two fellows try to overcome a seemingly endless litany of obstacles. Kindly seek it out and listen. It costs $11.97 and is worth twice that price for “World’s First Two Gay Guys” alone.