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AICN COMICS REVIEWS ULTIMATE SPIDEY! Warren Ellis' DOWN! INDIE JONES! AND MORE!!!!


#17 8/9/06 #5

The Pull List
(Click title to go directly to the review)

ULTIMATE EXTINCTION TPB
INCREDIBLE HULK #97
DOWN TPB
ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #98
SECRET SIX #3
Indie Jones presents…
CHEAP SHOTS!
Tales From the Crevice: Alan Moore’s WildCATS

ULTIMATE EXTINCTION TPB

Writer: Warren Ellis
Artist: Brandon Peterson
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewer: Baytor

“Doubtless, a lot of old readers will hate the Ultimate take on the Galactus/Surfer stories. My only consolation is that most of those people are now too aged to harm me in any serious way.” – Warren Ellis
I love that Warren Ellis is running amok in super-hero universes. Far too often, the guys writing super-hero comics are serious fans, and serious fans, well, they often don’t have the capacity to realize that some of the concepts they’re working with are kinda stupid. In point of fact, the entire Marvel Universe was co-created by a man who didn’t think much of what came before and took a sledgehammer to established concepts like kid sidekicks and the infallible hero and crafted something that no one had seen before. We call him Stan Lee and he is one of our Comic Gods.

Forty years later, we get Warren Ellis and despite his insistence that he hates super-heroes, he’s got that beautiful mercenary spirit that forces him to go in there and do a good job no matter what he thinks of the source material. Okay, sure, he’s going to point and laugh a fair bit, but if these things can’t take a bit of mean-spirited humor from a misanthropic Englishman, then they’re far too fragile to have any right to exist and we may as well just relegate the long-underwear crowd to the dustbin of history. Thankfully, they’re made of tougher stuff than that.

Which gets us to ULTIMATE EXTINCTION, which bears only the most superficial resemblance to Stan & Jack’s story from four decades back, and that, I think, is the right way to do it, because what’s the point of remaking the story if you’re not going to make the thing your own? Another more “respectful” writer might have prided themselves on keeping as much as possible, but given the set-up of the Ultimate Universe, a big guy wearing a weird hat and a purple toga is going to be seriously out of place…and unless you’re aiming for comedy, it’s probably not something you’d want to introduce to today’s comic readers, who are far too sophisticated for that sort of thing unless they remember it from the comics they read a child.

Yes, I’m rolling my eyes as I type that.

The run-down for those who aren’t already interested is that a big bad alien is coming to kill us and use our planet for fuel to go to the next inhabited planet and do the same to them, and it’s up to the combined resources of the Fantastic Four, the X-Men, and the Ultimates to make sure this doesn’t happen. As you can imagine there’s a lot of characters running around, but the main focus is only on a handful so things tend not to get too confusing. If you’re a complete Marvel newbie, you might have a bit of trouble keeping some of the names straight, but anyone with the most basic knowledge of the main Marvel heroes will have little trouble navigating this story. While there’re two other books in this trilogy, there’s only the tiniest bit of past knowledge you need to brush up on, most of which just explains how they got the information and technology they’re using in this story. I was never too clear why there were a bunch of clones of a bald tattooed chick running around, apart from they needed a big action sequence for the Captain Americas and Wolverines to do something while the Big Brains did the heavy lifting, but I didn’t mind too much.

The plotting, as you would expect from an Ellis book, is on the slow side, taking a bit of time to let the characters be a bit more than just plot-holders, letting them get in a few amusing character bits without bogging down the plot too much. He lets the artist, the talented Brandon Peterson, do a lot of the talking, so it’s a fairly quick read. A more frugal scripter could probably cut this down to three issues without rushing the plot, but Ellis lets the story be BIG without crowding every panel with “something happening”. I recall this being a tad annoying when I read it monthly, but reading it all in one sitting, the whole thing unrolls like any good piece of fiction.

Another thing I think Ellis is smart enough to realize that the super-hero genre is a bit of a null genre, being only as interesting as the genre that fills it. There’s been a tendency over the years to extract this content out and replace the mad scientists and would-be world conquerors with bad guys in tights that exist for little more than beating up and getting beaten up by our similarly clad heroes, and filling the void with soap opera…lots of soap opera. Ellis shoves a white-hot dose of straight science fiction into the super-hero candy-coated shell and emerges with something that’s a hell of a lot more interesting and fun than watching the Fantastic Four wale on Doctor Doom for the billionth time.

This is a good plot, entertaining character interactions, and a good number of explosions. This is the fun stuff that makes me rethink my drift away from the super-hero genre the last several years. I just wish there was a lot more of this stuff out there.

INCREDIBLE HULK #97

Writer: Greg Pak
Artists: Aaron Lopresti (pencils), Danny Miki (inks)
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Reviewer: Ambush Bug

Ok, I’ve been following this story arc from the beginning, commented on the appearance of the Silver Surfer a few issues back in a Cheap Shot, and took some time to really mull over what’s been going on in the HULK title for the last few months and I think I’m finally ready to throw out my two cents and 800 words about it all. In a nutshell, this “Planet Hulk” storyline isn’t awful, but there are some serious flaws that the whole thing suffers from. Let’s start out with the positive though.

First and foremost, I can appreciate the ballsy path the storyline is taking. This is a tried and true action yarn that reaches for epic proportions and succeeds in some aspect. You have the Hulk exiled from Earth by the Illuminati and sent to a peaceful, uninhabited planet where he can cause no more destruction and possibly death (depending on whether you are talking to Bendis or Dan Slott). Somewhere along the way, the Hulk’s spaceship gets sidetracked and he ends up on a world better suited for John Carter or Conan. It’s a primitive world where slavery, royalty, and the gladiatorial ring are still in existence. It’s a world where technology of the future meets the barbaric customs of the past. The planet is a Mos Eisley-like place where all sorts of vile aliens come to fight, live, and rule. The Hulk, who proves his iconic status by being able to stand out as his own character no matter what situation a writer puts him in, actually kind of likes this place. He gets to let loose with some of his anger occasionally in the gladiator ring and has become honor bound to a group of aliens who have survived and escaped slavery in the gladiator pits as well. It’s nice to see this side of the Hulk. He’s found a kinship among these characters who have had to fight to survive. Remember that line from SIN CITY when they’re describing Marv—that he was a man born too late and better suited to be living in a time of gladiators and warriors? Well, that’s the Hulk in this story. He’s finally in a place that makes sense to him and with people who actually understand what he’s been going through on Earth all of this time. It’s nice to see the Hulk almost content with his situation, going with the flow, and not focusing on the eventual @$$-kicking he’s going to give the Illuminati when he finally does get back to Earth. In issue #97, the Hulk takes the role of a freedom fighter, freeing those enslaved (including a dinosaur-like beast with a toothy maw) and rising up against a tyrannical empire. It’s the type of action that wouldn’t be accepted on Earth, but on this planet and in this situation the Hulk can truly be seen not as a monster, but as a hero. The situation the Hulk is in and the setup are nice ones that highlight the Hulk’s character and present him with a problem that he has yet to encounter. The writers are doing something new with the character and that’s a welcome sight in my book.

But there are problems with this series--the main one being the absence of something that has been a constant in almost every Hulk book since its inception.

There’s no Banner.

Bruce Banner, the Hulk’s alter ego, is nowhere to be found in this story, and that’s too bad. It’d be interesting to see how his fellow warriors would react to this fierce warrior if they knew that beneath all of those muscles lies a frail scientist. It’s one of those lost story potentials that really bothers me as I read through each chapter of this series. This book is just as much Bruce Banner’s story as it is the Hulk’s and to have the book ignore that fact looms over this book like a dark cloud every time I read it.

Apparently, the Hulk we have in this story arc is the “Smart@$$” Hulk that Peter David ended up with towards the end of his run. It’s supposed to be kind of an amalgamation of the mindless brute, the crafty Mr. Fixit, and frail yet brainy Banner himself. I think…though I’m not sure that’s the Hulk we have in this book and that’s the biggest problem with the Hulk since Peter David left all of those years ago.

Say what you will about Peter David’s extended take on the Hulk, but one thing he always did was give you a clear picture as to which Hulk you were dealing with in each story. He played around with all of the incarnations at one time or another and threw him into a boatload of offbeat situations, but when he did so, you knew which Hulk to expect. Since David left, there really has been no clear indicator as to which Hulk is in which story. Is it the mindless brute? No. Is Banner still even part of the equation in “Planet Hulk”’s Hulk? No clue. It’s nagging questions like these that have bogged down every story for the last few years to the point where I don’t even know if the writers know what Hulk they are writing themselves.

So although this is an interesting setup and a surprisingly detailed new situation presented in this story, the book itself lacks a sort of foundation to let the reader know the basics of the character. Taken solely as an adventure yarn, I guess the story is pretty decent, but if you’re going to use the Hulk and ignore the transformations and all of the stuff that goes with the character, you might as well be doing a Strong Guy or a Demolition Man story.


DOWN TPB

Writer: Warren Ellis
Artists: Tony Harris, Cully Hamner, Billy Tan, Brian Ching
Publisher: Image/Top Cow
Reviewer: Baytor

Back in the mid-80s, Arnold Schwarzenegger made this awful, mostly forgotten movie called RAW DEAL, which, for most of its run-time, was a fairly involving tale about Arnold infiltrating an organized crime family. Had it stayed the course, it might be remembered fairly fondly (despite some rather clumsy writing and poor acting from the lead), but it devolved into a typical run-and-gun Schwarzenegger flick in the final act and its fate was sealed.

DOWN is a lot like that. The first three chapters tell a rather brutal story of a cop going deep undercover to assassinate another undercover cop who has gone native, and to do so, she’s required to kill a lot of folks in order to gain her target’s trust. This is not something done lightly, and it’s clear from Ellis’ script and Hamner’s art that this is taking a considerable psychic toll on our heroine; but it goes along its path, not quite sure if the end justifies the means.

Then on the final page of the third chapter, the story collapses, as our heroine crosses a rather important line and starts acting contrary to her established nature. There’s an explanation of sorts, but things are happening at such a pace that the explanation doesn’t feel like something this character would do on the basis of a single encounter with her intended target. And if that twist isn’t enough, there’s another one (this one set up properly) that reverses it and leaves us with a deeply cynical conclusion.

Perhaps things would have been different had this story been its intended six issue length, as the first two chapters are very leisurely paced, while the final two are done in Ellis’ Pop Comic fast-paced mode. A couple of issues added to the middle of the third book probably would have given the characters some much needed time on-stage to cement their relationships with one another.

The second part of this TPB is a reprint of Ellis’ TALES OF THE WITCHBLADE story. It’s a murder mystery, set in the near future, when medical science has extended our lives indefinitely and murder is virtually unknown. After a gruesome double-homicide, the lead investigator calls on the Sexy Gloved One, as she’s the only person on the planet that has handled a murder case.

In many respects, it’s the more enjoyable of the two stories, as Ellis has a fondness for forensic detective shows such as CSI and QUINCY, and he demonstrates a good knowledge of the genre, as he takes us through the paces with the examination of the disfigured bodies and the almost magical discovery of evidence through pseudo-science, knowing that the real meat of the story is uncovering why this murder happened.

All-in-all, it’s a good story with a more satisfying conclusion than DOWN, although I rather dislike the lifeless pin-up art that is Top Cow’s house style.


ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #98

Brian Michael Bendis: Writer
Mark Bagley: Artist
Marvel Comics: Publisher
Ben Reilly: The Real Vroom Socko

Say anything you like about Bendis (and trust me, I’ve said almost everything you can say about his work) but you have to admit the man has balls the size of Ohio. For the love of God, he’s retelling the Clone Saga. The fucking CLONE Saga! The story that was the bloated bane of my beloved 90’s, and the bald bastard is making it work. How does he do it?

Well okay, it’s not perfect. I mean, there’s a Waterworld reference in the first page. Talk about 90’s crap. But this issue does manage to buck convention, or at least the stereotypes folks like us @$$holes have built up around Bendis. So far in this Clone Saga for a New Generation we’ve had the usual Bendis conversation pieces, the same usual funny business, some heartfelt dialogue, one helluva fight, the shock of a lifetime, and a final page that chills. And I’m not just talking about the story so far; the last issue featured the same level of varied storytelling as this one, and each one is crammed to the gills with both plot and nuance. I’ve seen Bendis going on about how Dan Slott’s next book is one of the best things he’s ever seen. It could be that some of Slott’s better habits are rubbing off on the man. God help us all if these two ever co-wrote something together.

While the last issue featured a fight with Scorpion, the first of Peter’s clones, this issue had a tussle with Spider-Woman. We don’t see her face, but if Bendis’ words and Bagley’s body language are any indicator, this gal might be Spidey’s equivalent of X-23. Having said that, I really don’t think I’d mind seeing this new girl stick around. There’s something about her that works for me.

But it’s the shock at the end that’s got people talking. For the sake of the two of you who haven’t been spoiled yet (and the one who don’t recall the 70’s origins of the Clone Saga and haven’t put two and two together) I won’t reveal it here. But I will say that it involves my favorite supporting character in the book. I don’t know what Bendis has planned here. I don’t know if he’s going to follow the same beat as the original or what, but I do know that he’d better not fuck this part up. A thousand clones could descend for all I care, killing each other and leaving Spider-Woman the new protagonist of the book, just as long as this one character is handled properly. If not, I will hate Bendis forever.

Honestly though, I don’t see that happening. This story is Bendis doing what he does best. Hell, he’s doing the stuff he normally doesn’t do so great amazingly here too. We’re only one issue away from the big 100, and this title’s the best it’s been in a while. Don’t miss out on this one.


SECRET SIX #3 (of 6)

Writer: Gail Simone
Artists: Brad Walker, Jimmy Palmiotti
Publisher: DC Comics
Reviewer: Baytor

It’s always a joy to see DC converting one of their old titles into a super-hero book, because there simply aren’t enough of them on the shelves these days. The super-hero genre is one of the founding genres of the medium and their sad state of neglect is downright shameful. One can only hope that we’ll see more of these super-hero titles to help bring much needed diversity to our local comic shelves.

SECRET SIX is a book that just inspires this level of sarcasm in me. One quick glance through the issue will find a well-versed DC reader thinking so much of another title with the S.S. initials (one that was similarly converted a couple of decades back into a super-hero title) that you simply wonder why they didn’t call this book SUICIDE SQUAD. They both have the same basic set-up: a group of super-villains take on nigh-impossible missions around the world and both books have Deadshot in a leading role. Throughout the three issues to date, I’ve been waiting for The Wall to show up and start throwing her considerable weight around, because non-stop DCU references are what this book is all about.

I was a hardcore DCU fan about a decade back, and this book is striking two wrong notes on this front. First, I keep recognizing stuff from 10-20 years ago and I’m thinking “they’re still going on about that?” Second, I, with an impressive (albeit out-of-date) knowledge of the DCU, have only the vaguest clue who half these people are and Simone isn’t exactly laying out the characters in a clear way, cutting between costume and civilian identities several times an issue. This story seems to be intersecting with a lot of other storylines from the DCU, with even more being referenced in passing, and much of it isn’t being explained very well. Doctor Psycho wants to kill them for some reason or other and Vandal Savage is trying to kill his daughter’s girlfriend for some reason or other and they’re being dropped into some fight for some reason or other and now they’re about to fight the Doom Patrol for some reason or other.

Now, I’m being really unfair here, because if you pay close attention, you can figure out the reasons for most of these things, but the story never seems to emphasize the major points, so it’s drifting from scene to scene with only a quick line of dialogue (“Blake’s got a lead on them dames that shot me”) to mark the moment. But if you don’t know who the hell Vandal Savage is, then you’re out of luck, because there’s little to no attempt to explain who he is, apart from being the deranged father of one of the cast members.

Another thing that gets me down about this book is its attempts at humor and shock. I say “attempts” because the book never made me smile (despite several obvious attempts), nor made me flinch (despite a character slicing off his own hand). I’m not overly familiar with Simone’s work, but I found myself properly amused by her ATOM; here she seems to be trying too damn hard to be cute and funny in scenes where it’s hard to be cute and funny. This is one of them grim ‘n gritty books and one would expect the humor to be a lot darker, but instead we get lame gags about Jello and fruits wearing hats.

Maybe I’m not who this book is for. I put aside my interest in super-hero universes about a decade ago, and favor stories that tell a complete story without the need of company wide cross-over events to explain half the back story--where if a guy shows up in the first issue, they tell us who the guy is instead of expecting us to know if from reading some other book. This book seems to have, like much of the DC Universe, disappeared up its own continuity hole and I spending half the book just trying to figure out who everyone is and what the hell it is they’re doing…and that’s simply not what I look for in a book.

I'm out.


UTF (Undead Task Force) #2
Ape Entertainment

I like this series. To me, it’s the comic book equivalent of a Walter Hill film. It ain’t flashy or showy, it’s just pure action and proud of it. The story is something you’d want to see as a film—a vampire gets himself locked up in LA’s most notorious prison and converts the entire prison population into vampires. A riot ensues, but the prisoners are still in the prison. A team of government agents trained to deal with this sort of thing is sent in to contain and eliminate the problem before they find a way out of the prison and cause some real damage. That’s the premise and with issue two our team finally infiltrates the prison. The action moves pretty quickly from there on out as our team finds that they are outnumbered. This classic “contain the problem or die” scenario is well done with very capable artwork by Tone Rodriguez. Check this one out. - Bug

THE SAVAGE BROTHERS#1
BOOM! Studios

Seems the zombie genre in comics is at an all time high these days. Eventually, I’ll probably get sick of all of these stories with zombies and survivors in this scenario or that scenario. But not yet. This story is very Ennis-esque as a couple of fun-lovin’ rednecks decide to cash in on this whole End of Days hoopla and seek out loved ones and put them down for good so that they don’t wander the earth eating brains and standing in front of me in the damn supermarket when all I freakin’ want is some gum, some TP, a pack of condoms, and a sixer of Red Stripe! By the end of this issue, the Savage Brothers are forced to make a decision whether to become heroes or continue to profit off of Armageddon. It was a quick read with a lot of lowbrow humor, but I like that sort of thing and if you do too, you might want to check this one out. - Bug

WORMWOOD: GENTLEMAN CORPSE – Birds, Bees, Blood, & Beer #1
IDW Publishing

The highlight, as always, is Ben Templesmith’s artwork with this book. Like McKean, Ashley Wood, and I’d even lump Ted McKeever in there as well, you buy one of these artist’s books to soak in the rich manipulation of lines and colors, darks, and lights. These guys, while maintaining their own styles, push the boundaries of the medium. Their dedication to this craft is evident in every panel and this is the type of book that one uses when trying to convince people that comics are an art form. It’s just an added bonus that Templesmith has created such a great character to bring to life. Wormwood is an alien worm taking residence inside a rotting corpse. His sidekick is a mechanical man of his own creation, and he just hired another gun in his arsenal, a cutie whose tattoos come to life. If you like Steve Niles’ CAL MACDONALD (and shame on you if you don’t), you’ll like this series. Templesmith seems to be just as talented at story as he is with illustration. A beautiful looking book and a promising new series. - Bug

WASTED MINUTE #3
Yellow Nightmares Press

It is not a question of how much they will take
Because they will take everything
They will take your lunch breaks and your nights and your weekends
Your passion and your courage
Your time and your energy
Your heart and your soul
Your life and your dreams
And it will never be enough
They will take it all
It is NOT a question of how much they will take
It is a question of how much you will let them take
Before you stand up and scream…
ENOUGH!
Number of days since I last worked full-time…786
Number of days since I last set foot in a cube…484

---from the inside cover of WASTED MINUTE #3

I read that little ditty and immediately knew I had to share it with the AICN Comics readers. If that doesn’t make you want to stand up, put your hoof through your computer monitor, and walk out of your dull day job to follow your dreams, I don’t know what will. At WIZARDWORLD Chicago, writer Lewis Helfand sold me on the concept of this book: it’s about superheroes who have day jobs. Simple enough and a concept that has been utilized in comics from the beginning, but never given center stage. This comic does this. In many ways, this book is like CLERKS meets THE INCREDIBLES except it centers on former heroes who are literally being sapped of their energies, not from death rays or evil plots, but by the tedium that comes with a desk job. Like CLERKS, it’s the observational humor that makes this entertaining as the former heroes bitch about the idiocy and monotony of working for The Man. This book will definitely appeal to anyone who has “wasted time” at work thinking about being anyplace else. It’s an indie book, so don’t expect high production values or all pro panels. But this is the type of book that hones in and addresses thoughts and feelings we all have from time to time. Writer Lewis Helfand proves not only to be someone to come up with a catchy theme for his book, but his sensitive storytelling and careful wordplay proved to be impressive as well. I plan on tracking down more issues of this innovative indie. - Bug

Remember, if you have an Indie book you’d like one of the @$$holes to take a look at, click on your favorite reviewer’s link and drop us an email.


GREEN ARROW #65
DC Comics

Hey! AIDSy the teen sidekick is back in this issue! Yip…eee?

This issue marks another perfect example of the strengths and weaknesses of Judd Winick’s writing. The book is paced evenly enough at first, with a nice fight scene involving Green Arrow, AIDSy, and Brick (the mob boss turned street enforcer) against a gaggle of drug addled cannibal/vampires. It’s spliced pretty well with some political debate, but the problem is that the debate is so heavy-handed and unevenly represented that the piece just slides into crapsville as quick as you can say “I hate AIDSy the sidekick!” I liked the idea of a politician who also happens to be a super hero the first time I heard of it…when it was called EX MACHINA. David Spade imitations aside, as much as EX MACHINA is a prime example of how to smartly splice politics with super-heroics, this book shows how it’s done badly. The political debate starts as a sidebar to the action piece, running alongside what the main character is doing on the streets, but as the story goes on, it elbows the action out of the picture and literally crams its political views down the readers’ throats. Although quite liberal myself, even I was offended at the way Winick characterized the liberals as the godly and right, while the conservatives were characterized as caveman-like hate-mongers. It’s sloppy, easy writing from someone who is seriously shooting himself in the foot every time he decides to turn his comic book into a soapbox. To top it all off, Winick neuters his main character by having Hal Jordan swoop in and fix the situation with a flick of his ring finger when GA had been fighting said menace all night long. He does this in front of AIDSy nonethefuckingless. “Way to make me look like a complete split-tail, old chum.”

Good action/bad everything else/Ollie = no balls. - Bug

A MAN CALLED KEV #2
Wildstorm Comics

Up until now, the KEV books have pretty much a one-note joke that’s been going on about two mini-series too long. He’s an ex-SAS homophobic loser that keeps getting teamed up with The Midnighter and hilarity ensues as he’s embroiled in some larger-than-life super-hero plot. The joke was only mildly funny the first time they did it, and Ennis isn’t adept enough at super-hero plots to have mined the concept for anything but the most obvious jokes. The main redeeming features of them have been the more down-to-Earth moments involving Kev and his military buddies, and, thankfully, that seems to be the entire focus of this mini-series. This month, Kev looks up an old buddy, the owner of the infamous tiger that had been the root of all of Kev’s troubles in the last three outings. And, well, that’s about it. It’s 22 pages of boozing, smoking, joking, poking, outings, and stops just short of revealing the Big Story behind this adventure; and that’s enough for me. For those familiar with Ennis’ stories, you know he’s always got to take a bit of time out to let you get to know these people, so he can twist the knife in later on when very bad things start happening to likeable people. So, sit down a spell and laugh along with the merry band. In another couple of months, you’ll be crying like a baby when one of these people takes a shotgun blast to the gut. - Baytor

BEYOND! #2
Marvel Comics

What’s that in the air? Do I smell a sleeper hit? Sure do. This book left me pleasantly surprised with its first issue, but with this second one I’m hooked. It helps that there’s an appearance by Dragon Man. But the true standout is the reappearance of a character that hasn’t been around in ten years. Much like MARVEL SUPER HEROES SECRET WAR before it, this book seems to embrace the Marvel U and what makes it special. Don’t buy that “world outside your window” crap that Quesada tries to pawn off as the Marvel mantra. The best thing about Marvel is the fantastic characters and stories told in a sophisticated manner. This is high adventure storytelling where the characters act the way they have been acting for years and the thrills come at the characters non-stop and in the classic Mighty Marvel Manner. Dan Slott lovers will like this book. People who like fun adventures will like this book. Those of you who don’t want to pick up 200 crossover issues to see all of your favorite and not so favorite heroes interacting with eat this up. - Bug

52 – WEEK 13
DC Comics

Week Thirteen (25% of 52) features Ralph Dibny and some former JLA'ers infiltrating the Cult of Conner and the attempted resurrection of Ralph's late wife, Sue Dibny. It also delivers a throwaway piece with Black Adam and Isis freeing slave children, probably included so that we may witness Isis in action. The cult storyline takes the majority of the issue, and I can understand the somewhat questionable actions of the “heroes,” who never cause considerable property damage or physical harm; they are simply available to break up a charlatan and thief who might be poisoning others. They do not start any literal fires, but be sure to re-check the panels to witness who does. This issue initially did not work well for me and it's because Todd Nauck's pencils are somewhat cartoonish in nature. Had this been a more whimsical storyline, such as many, but obviously not all, of those in featured in YOUNG JUSTICE or WILDGUARD, I would have been more accepting. To me, Nauck justifies his artwork with a single, creepy panel towards the end of the book that put a chill down my spine and made the entire issue worth the money spent. - Squashua

WOLVERINE ORIGINS #5
Marvel Comics

In this issue, we get the secret origin of Wolverine and his lost love Silver Fox. Oh wait, that’s not a secret. That story was told in an early issue of Wolverine’s last series. This was just a poorly drawn rehash of that story interspersed with whoever Wolverine is fighting in this issue. So far, this series has been a complete waste of my time. No longer though…because this is the last issue I pick up. Should’ve done this four issues ago. - Bug


It Came From the 90’s

By Vroom Socko

Now, I didn’t read everything that was published in the 90’s, mind you. There were plenty of books that I passed over, and even more that weren’t that great (this is true of every comics era, mind you.) For example, I don’t think I touched a single book WildStorm published. It wasn’t something I did intentionally, mind you. There just wasn’t anything that stood out for me as something I simply had to read, no matter what.

That is, until Alan Moore became the writer on WILDC.A.T.S.

I don’t know about you but I’ll try out anything that Moore does, even if it’s 13 issues of work for hire about an alien war set on Earth. Of course, Moore being Moore, he turned the entire title on its ear. The team arrives at their homeworld to learn that their war has been over for centuries, making the Earth the equivalent of an island in the South Pacific filled with Japanese holdouts. But he didn’t stop there, setting up the heroes’ homeworld as a dystopian nightmare filled with political parasites who help drive the team apart. Then there’s the crew who stayed behind on Earth, who start a major war on crime with the help of new member Tao. If you’ve read SLEEPER, you know what a mistake that is.

One of the things I love about this work is that each element has essentially the same plot, that of good people doing what they think is right and finding themselves suddenly and unexpectedly in shit up to their neck thanks to people manipulating their every move. That Moore tells essentially the same story twice without drawing attention to the fact is a blast. Each aspect has its own nuances and touches that help keep the reader riveted. And Tao is an absolutely fascinating and chilling character.

There’s also the fact that the book has some hilariously funny moments. One of the people reforming the Earth team comments that “There’s always three well-known loners, a giant guy, and two bimbos that nobody’s heard of.” (Almost sounds like the New Avengers.) Majestic is constantly commenting that things were so much simpler back in the ‘60s. The cyborg called Ladytron gets in a fight with Overtkill, then complains that his head doesn’t come off like on the action figure. Some of the heroes hang out at a bar called Clark’s that’s full of background gags. And there’s an absolutely hilarious funeral at a church for robots. You can see a whole mess of ideas in these stories that are clear precursors to the stories he told in TOM STRONG and TOP 10.

Then there’re the two issues that crossed over into the Fire From Heaven event at WildStorm. Not that these issues stand out in terms of quality or anything. I just find it hilarious that Alan Moore, his own man when it comes to storytelling, took part in a multi-writer crossover event. Of course, I only read the issues that Moore wrote, which means that I will probably go to my grave without ever learning why the last three pages of issue #29 feature an appearance by Marvel’s Silver Samurai and The Hitcher from "The Mighty Boosh".

This isn’t Moore’s best work by any means. But all things considered, it’s still a damn good comic, as well as a prime example of the reason you shouldn’t write off a weak concept, especially when it gains a writer who’s the best there is. Of course, it’s also an outstanding example of why you shouldn’t write off a decade like the ‘90s.

Question for Discussion:
What creator/s and which title do you never expect to cross paths, but would love to see the end result of?





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Reader Talkback

Too soon?
by Stollentroll
Aug 16th, 2006
08:28:58 AM
"I just wish there was a lot more of this stuff out
by chrth
Aug 16th, 2006
08:31:08 AM
Yeah, really, too soon
by Engineer_at_peac
Aug 16th, 2006
08:41:29 AM
Wrong about Nauck's style.. he rules..
by stlfilmwire
Aug 16th, 2006
08:48:33 AM
Kingdom Come is an Elseworlds tale?
by Sinestro
Aug 16th, 2006
08:55:00 AM
TOO SOON!
by Elmore Rigby
Aug 16th, 2006
09:00:26 AM
Winnick
by Spaz_Monkey
Aug 16th, 2006
09:01:00 AM
Phillipe is Two Face...
by stlfilmwire
Aug 16th, 2006
09:02:08 AM
Top Cow house style...
by biscuit turner
Aug 16th, 2006
09:09:27 AM
Civil War
by AlgertMopper
Aug 16th, 2006
09:16:25 AM
Nauck
by Ambush Bug
Aug 16th, 2006
09:33:11 AM
I know I'm two months behind...
by rev_skarekroe
Aug 16th, 2006
09:37:30 AM
Yeah, Kingdom Come is Elseworlds
by chrth
Aug 16th, 2006
09:37:50 AM
ult. spider
by John Dalmas
Aug 16th, 2006
09:40:15 AM
Welcome to Chicago, JD!
by Ambush Bug
Aug 16th, 2006
09:50:56 AM
Thanks Bug!
by John Dalmas
Aug 16th, 2006
09:55:36 AM
PSH as Penguin?
by chrth
Aug 16th, 2006
09:58:42 AM
Banner was in Giant Sized Hulk
by rev_skarekroe
Aug 16th, 2006
10:03:57 AM
Two-Face has always been a hard one to cast...
by Ambush Bug
Aug 16th, 2006
10:11:08 AM
Giant Size Hulk
by Ambush Bug
Aug 16th, 2006
10:15:04 AM
listen to the Bug, JD
by Dollar Bird
Aug 16th, 2006
10:16:46 AM
and rev...
by Ambush Bug
Aug 16th, 2006
10:18:06 AM
Not bad, a-holes
by Drcool975
Aug 16th, 2006
10:23:37 AM
I didn't make up tradewaiting...
by rev_skarekroe
Aug 16th, 2006
10:42:47 AM
Answer: Warren Ellis and Frank Miller
by Mr. Fist
Aug 16th, 2006
11:10:13 AM
Wolverine: Origins
by KoozyK
Aug 16th, 2006
11:10:43 AM
The Frank Miller writing crack...
by Mr. Fist
Aug 16th, 2006
11:12:37 AM
Is There A Moore-helmed WildCATS TPB?
by ZombieSolutions
Aug 16th, 2006
11:13:14 AM
The Frank Miller writing crack...
by Mr. Fist
Aug 16th, 2006
11:13:22 AM
There are Alan Moore Wildcats trades...
by Mr. Fist
Aug 16th, 2006
11:16:51 AM
Yea, Elseworlds
by Heisenberg85
Aug 16th, 2006
11:32:39 AM
The ending of 52...
by SamBluestone
Aug 16th, 2006
11:33:20 AM
....
by blackthought
Aug 16th, 2006
11:35:06 AM
Absolute Edition=Thumbs Down
by chrth
Aug 16th, 2006
11:37:34 AM
Ultimate Galactus
by Caped Revenger2
Aug 16th, 2006
11:40:05 AM
re: JD (SPOILERS)
by Ribbons
Aug 16th, 2006
11:48:53 AM
Robert Downey Jr. would have made an AWESOME Two-Face
by stlfilmwire
Aug 16th, 2006
12:06:42 PM
MAN YOU GUYS ARE SO LATE!!!!
by BilboRing
Aug 16th, 2006
12:09:19 PM
Self appointed "honarary @$$hole" reviews Ult. Spidey
by loodabagel
Aug 16th, 2006
12:26:13 PM
I don't know about Robert Downey Jr.
by chrth
Aug 16th, 2006
12:26:48 PM
You didn't like the Jell-O gag?
by vagrant's choice
Aug 16th, 2006
12:40:44 PM
Quick! Which sidekick is AIDSey?
by loodabagel
Aug 16th, 2006
12:46:43 PM
First Ledger as Joker now Phillipe as Dent??
by chickychow
Aug 16th, 2006
01:02:02 PM
AIDSy
by Ambush Bug
Aug 16th, 2006
01:02:31 PM
Ed Norton could be a nice Harvey Dent...
by loodabagel
Aug 16th, 2006
01:05:32 PM
*SHOOMP!*
by GreatA'Tuin
Aug 16th, 2006
01:08:58 PM
Thank, Bug!
by loodabagel
Aug 16th, 2006
01:13:02 PM
AIDSey=Mia, Ollie's latest sidekick.
by SleazyG.
Aug 16th, 2006
01:14:24 PM
Baytor, Ultimate Extinction and Secret Six
by Homer Sexual
Aug 16th, 2006
01:19:48 PM
Some have made the teen superheroes cool but...
by loodabagel
Aug 16th, 2006
01:20:54 PM
I like Mia
by Engineer_at_peac
Aug 16th, 2006
01:22:25 PM
Bug
by Homer Sexual
Aug 16th, 2006
01:25:51 PM
Question for Discussion:
by MCVamp
Aug 16th, 2006
01:29:15 PM
Yes, Baytor truly is a dick among @$$holes
by MrBoinfoint
Aug 16th, 2006
01:29:40 PM
re: Philippe as Harvey Dent
by Ribbons
Aug 16th, 2006
01:30:48 PM
Question for discussion
by MrBoinfoint
Aug 16th, 2006
01:31:15 PM
I think Heinberg is doing a great job with YA
by Ambush Bug
Aug 16th, 2006
01:32:35 PM
I agree with Engineer, I enjoyed Mia before she...
by loodabagel
Aug 16th, 2006
01:39:08 PM
Alan Moore's Powerpack is a great one...
by loodabagel
Aug 16th, 2006
01:51:34 PM
Baytor
by El Vale
Aug 16th, 2006
01:56:13 PM
Ambush Bug,
by vagrant's choice
Aug 16th, 2006
02:00:11 PM
Is it me?
by El Vale
Aug 16th, 2006
02:05:08 PM
baytor knows shit
by joergn
Aug 16th, 2006
02:05:55 PM
AAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!!!
by Giant Ape Balls
Aug 16th, 2006
02:07:33 PM
Secret Six
by Baytor
Aug 16th, 2006
02:09:11 PM
joergn
by El Vale
Aug 16th, 2006
02:16:32 PM
Question of the day...
by loodabagel
Aug 16th, 2006
02:20:01 PM
On the other hand...
by Squashua
Aug 16th, 2006
02:21:10 PM
Notice How AICN doesn't like to be second?
by stlfilmwire
Aug 16th, 2006
02:22:01 PM
And another thing.
by Baytor
Aug 16th, 2006
02:24:10 PM
bad news for loodabagel
by Homer Sexual
Aug 16th, 2006
02:31:46 PM
Thank you, Giant Ape Balls
by loodabagel
Aug 16th, 2006
02:35:12 PM
One thing, tho', @$$holes
by El Vale
Aug 16th, 2006
02:35:17 PM
Even Better than Pekar: MARVEL Heroes by R. Crumb!
by ZombieSolutions
Aug 16th, 2006
02:35:18 PM
Who coined "AIDsy"?
by Drcool975
Aug 16th, 2006
02:36:58 PM
note to vale
by Homer Sexual
Aug 16th, 2006
02:40:38 PM
Hey loodabagel
by El Vale
Aug 16th, 2006
02:41:41 PM
Mark Waid and Alex Ross together again?
by Sinestro
Aug 16th, 2006
02:46:12 PM
Homer
by El Vale
Aug 16th, 2006
02:47:29 PM
stlfilmwire
by Ribbons
Aug 16th, 2006
02:50:54 PM
I wasn't particularilary complaining, Homer...
by loodabagel
Aug 16th, 2006
02:53:55 PM
Question for Discussion
by BilboRing
Aug 16th, 2006
02:56:13 PM
I will admit...
by Baytor
Aug 16th, 2006
02:57:15 PM
Bilbo
by El Vale
Aug 16th, 2006
03:03:45 PM
If you want Bilbo to leave...
by rev_skarekroe
Aug 16th, 2006
03:10:42 PM
Yeah sorry
by El Vale
Aug 16th, 2006
03:16:47 PM
question for discussion...
by loodabagel
Aug 16th, 2006
03:17:41 PM
Actually, stlfilmwire...
by SleazyG.
Aug 16th, 2006
03:22:45 PM
loodabagel
by Giant Ape Balls
Aug 16th, 2006
03:26:49 PM
No wait! Marc Silvestri redraws old freak brothers!
by loodabagel
Aug 16th, 2006
03:32:53 PM
Baytor
by Baytor
Aug 16th, 2006
03:36:16 PM
Don't worry, Giant Ape Balls
by loodabagel
Aug 16th, 2006
03:39:01 PM
loodabagel
by Giant Ape Balls
Aug 16th, 2006
03:49:13 PM
I'm starting to suspect...
by Squashua
Aug 16th, 2006
03:57:02 PM
Squashua
by El Vale
Aug 16th, 2006
04:12:44 PM
Nahh, Vale isn't Dildo...
by Ambush Bug
Aug 16th, 2006
04:17:01 PM
I think I came up with AIDSy, DrCool.
by Ambush Bug
Aug 16th, 2006
04:18:13 PM
Wow, what an asshole move by Marvel.
by SleazyG.
Aug 16th, 2006
04:26:31 PM
"We're not publishing this for the long-time fans..."
by SleazyG.
Aug 16th, 2006
04:29:46 PM
El Vale
by Giant Ape Balls
Aug 16th, 2006
04:32:17 PM
Bug
by El Vale
Aug 16th, 2006
04:38:14 PM
"only thing more useless than a comic reviewer
by The Heathen
Aug 16th, 2006
04:38:34 PM
Ape Balls
by El Vale
Aug 16th, 2006
04:40:31 PM
Squashua!!!
by The Heathen
Aug 16th, 2006
04:41:35 PM
I would like
by El Vale
Aug 16th, 2006
04:43:53 PM
Giant Ape Balls
by The Heathen
Aug 16th, 2006
04:45:58 PM
YES!!!
by El Vale
Aug 16th, 2006
04:46:18 PM
Question for Discussion:
by The Heathen
Aug 16th, 2006
04:47:06 PM
Umm
by The Heathen
Aug 16th, 2006
04:50:13 PM
No idea, man
by El Vale
Aug 16th, 2006
04:55:42 PM
,,, ,,, ,,,,
by blackthought
Aug 16th, 2006
04:59:03 PM
blackthought?
by The Heathen
Aug 16th, 2006
05:03:13 PM
Top Cow House Style
by Baytor
Aug 16th, 2006
05:04:16 PM
Wolverine Origins looks like its drawn by monkeys
by tonyd1411
Aug 16th, 2006
05:09:49 PM
ah fuck...
by blackthought
Aug 16th, 2006
05:10:24 PM
and vale ain't no fuggin' bibloring thing or whoever...
by blackthought
Aug 16th, 2006
05:11:40 PM
Baytor, regarding Down
by The Heathen
Aug 16th, 2006
05:12:00 PM
Would it be wrong
by El Vale
Aug 16th, 2006
05:12:53 PM
ah, rendering
by The Heathen
Aug 16th, 2006
05:12:59 PM
Vale re: Top Cow connoisseur
by The Heathen
Aug 16th, 2006
05:14:56 PM
Origins
by Baytor
Aug 16th, 2006
05:14:59 PM
Dillon
by El Vale
Aug 16th, 2006
05:19:52 PM
Down Spoiler
by Baytor
Aug 16th, 2006
05:20:53 PM
i wish i knew
by blackthought
Aug 16th, 2006
05:35:11 PM
The Clone Saga ROCKED!
by RezE11even
Aug 16th, 2006
05:40:15 PM
So basically fuck everyone who isn't RezE11even
by El Vale
Aug 16th, 2006
05:52:57 PM
Gail Simone
by Baytor
Aug 16th, 2006
05:56:11 PM
I'm starting to suspect...
by El Vale
Aug 16th, 2006
06:21:05 PM
You are all part of my delusion
by Baytor
Aug 16th, 2006
06:25:28 PM
worst (non-death) comic news of the year
by waggy
Aug 16th, 2006
06:29:06 PM
Bagley
by Baytor
Aug 16th, 2006
06:34:05 PM
"So basically fuck everyone who isn't RezE11even"
by chrth
Aug 16th, 2006
06:53:38 PM
But Bagley can't leave Ult Spidey!
by El Vale
Aug 16th, 2006
07:20:31 PM
Thanks for the Down info, Baytor
by The Heathen
Aug 16th, 2006
07:22:30 PM
You should check out some of his early Hellblazer
by Baytor
Aug 16th, 2006
07:28:35 PM
Look, man. Dildoring is in disguise...
by Squashua
Aug 16th, 2006
07:59:15 PM
Hmm
by The Heathen
Aug 16th, 2006
08:02:05 PM
Hmm...
by El Vale
Aug 16th, 2006
08:06:30 PM
sorry im late
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 16th, 2006
08:14:15 PM
Hmm
by The Heathen
Aug 16th, 2006
08:32:59 PM
Bagley quit "Ult. Spidey"?!
by Ribbons
Aug 16th, 2006
08:44:21 PM
glad to be heard from
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 16th, 2006
08:44:50 PM
OMG they got together!
by El Vale
Aug 16th, 2006
08:54:47 PM
man he quit?
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 16th, 2006
09:01:11 PM
....
by blackthought
Aug 16th, 2006
09:08:35 PM
New Warriors...
by Squashua
Aug 16th, 2006
09:36:00 PM
not a huge slott fan
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 16th, 2006
09:44:12 PM
did u notice
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 16th, 2006
09:45:54 PM
Civil War delay ...
by dregmobile
Aug 16th, 2006
09:51:06 PM
Ultimate Extinction
by Baytor
Aug 16th, 2006
09:58:35 PM
Oh Dildo is a member alright
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 16th, 2006
10:04:39 PM
What is it, break Vale's heart day?
by El Vale
Aug 16th, 2006
10:08:21 PM

by John Dalmas
Aug 17th, 2006
12:29:08 AM
No confirmation from tonight's Variety.
by dregmobile
Aug 17th, 2006
12:32:20 AM
still number one tb?
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 17th, 2006
02:07:18 AM
I don't think so Darth
by El Vale
Aug 17th, 2006
02:15:56 AM
vale my friend
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 17th, 2006
02:20:22 AM
Just read that Giant Size Hulk book...
by Ambush Bug
Aug 17th, 2006
02:47:38 AM
warren ellis
by mrbighat
Aug 17th, 2006
06:04:16 AM
But Bug, one of the other aliens saw Hulk transform...
by rev_skarekroe
Aug 17th, 2006
07:52:38 AM
I never liked Bagley
by rev_skarekroe
Aug 17th, 2006
07:53:33 AM
Dregmobile might have something there...
by Squashua
Aug 17th, 2006
08:34:03 AM
Oh, and...
by Squashua
Aug 17th, 2006
08:35:02 AM
Read Agents of Atlas
by Drcool975
Aug 17th, 2006
10:40:16 AM
civil war was delayed?
by blackthought
Aug 17th, 2006
10:57:00 AM
But who is You-Know-Who, DrCool?
by loodabagel
Aug 17th, 2006
11:01:09 AM
Silly COGs, Turtle will die alone....
by GreatA'Tuin
Aug 17th, 2006
11:19:39 AM
I'll take one of whatever, GreatA did.
by The Heathen
Aug 17th, 2006
11:40:37 AM
Reviewed Agents of Atlas in last week's column, DrCool
by Ambush Bug
Aug 17th, 2006
11:57:41 AM
I don't know, rev...
by Ambush Bug
Aug 17th, 2006
12:04:16 PM
TURTLE SMASH!
by GreatA'Tuin
Aug 17th, 2006
12:45:25 PM
Well, we'll see what happens when/if Banner shows up.
by rev_skarekroe
Aug 17th, 2006
01:12:18 PM
Comic Reviews Suck
by BilboRing
Aug 17th, 2006
01:14:28 PM
We're kicking everyone's ass
by El Vale
Aug 17th, 2006
01:19:28 PM
Dildo
by El Vale
Aug 17th, 2006
01:22:43 PM
comic creators who are both fun and cool.
by Homer Sexual
Aug 17th, 2006
02:27:01 PM
Long Time Fans
by Baytor
Aug 17th, 2006
02:50:21 PM
Baytor...um...WTF?
by GreatA'Tuin
Aug 17th, 2006
03:26:58 PM
Old School
by Baytor
Aug 17th, 2006
03:50:57 PM
Works for me
by GreatA'Tuin
Aug 17th, 2006
04:18:44 PM
To Be Young Again
by Baytor
Aug 17th, 2006
04:26:05 PM
That's should be...
by Baytor
Aug 17th, 2006
04:28:23 PM
Totally disagree on your Hulk/Banner take Ambush Bug.
by thestrongestone
Aug 17th, 2006
04:53:50 PM
52 #15
by Psynapse
Aug 17th, 2006
04:55:11 PM
...
by blackthought
Aug 17th, 2006
05:01:13 PM
Spoil(er) me
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 17th, 2006
05:42:30 PM
fwiw, I also wild new twists on old characters.
by Homer Sexual
Aug 17th, 2006
05:43:25 PM
and while on the subject of insider info
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 17th, 2006
05:44:01 PM
I just assumed
by Baytor
Aug 17th, 2006
05:54:32 PM
i wold have thought so too baytor
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 17th, 2006
05:55:53 PM
the "too soon" thing...
by SleazyG.
Aug 17th, 2006
06:08:51 PM
a 52 Spoiler and "Too Soon" explained....
by Psynapse
Aug 17th, 2006
06:12:12 PM
Psynapse is right...
by SleazyG.
Aug 17th, 2006
06:33:27 PM
thanks sleazy and psy
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 17th, 2006
08:07:02 PM
Too Soon
by Squashua
Aug 17th, 2006
08:54:24 PM
Gah...
by Squashua
Aug 17th, 2006
08:55:32 PM
rendering
by blackthought
Aug 17th, 2006
09:24:09 PM
Too soon
by El Vale
Aug 17th, 2006
09:42:55 PM
Star Trek: The Manga: The Bomb
by dregmobile
Aug 18th, 2006
03:40:35 AM
2 Soon
by dregmobile
Aug 18th, 2006
03:43:06 AM
And now for something completely tasteless...
by Psynapse
Aug 18th, 2006
01:11:40 PM
Too soon? All right bitches, try this on for size then
by Psynapse
Aug 18th, 2006
02:21:45 PM
Joke shamelessly stolen from Greg Rucka:
by SleazyG.
Aug 18th, 2006
02:49:45 PM
i love the tasteless psy jokes
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 18th, 2006
02:59:56 PM
One of 'em actually came out this month!
by SleazyG.
Aug 18th, 2006
03:02:20 PM
*Zing*
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 18th, 2006
03:10:45 PM
Who's Lance Bass?
by El Vale
Aug 18th, 2006
03:31:58 PM
one of the nsync guys
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 18th, 2006
03:43:16 PM
OMIGOD DARTH!!!!
by Psynapse
Aug 18th, 2006
04:05:58 PM
Wanna hear one REEAALLY tasteless?
by Psynapse
Aug 18th, 2006
04:11:54 PM
Psy, that would be a hearty "Hell YES!"
by GreatA'Tuin
Aug 18th, 2006
04:30:08 PM
Though, I feel I must warn you all....
by GreatA'Tuin
Aug 18th, 2006
04:32:28 PM
Okay, you asked for it.....
by Psynapse
Aug 18th, 2006
04:59:20 PM
oh my...did mel gibson write that one?
by blackthought
Aug 18th, 2006
05:12:09 PM
Actually....
by Psynapse
Aug 18th, 2006
05:17:05 PM
Holy shit!
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 18th, 2006
05:28:02 PM
Well isn't that pathetic
by El Vale
Aug 18th, 2006
05:32:37 PM
This ones for you Psy....
by GreatA'Tuin
Aug 18th, 2006
05:37:18 PM
that kind of joke
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 18th, 2006
05:41:32 PM
maybe
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 18th, 2006
05:42:26 PM
Yes!!
by Psynapse
Aug 18th, 2006
05:54:39 PM
Okay how about this one....
by Psynapse
Aug 18th, 2006
06:00:22 PM
And one more for my homies....
by GreatA'Tuin
Aug 18th, 2006
06:01:08 PM
whoa ethiopans now...
by blackthought
Aug 18th, 2006
06:07:38 PM
Or this.....
by Psynapse
Aug 18th, 2006
06:10:29 PM
Or this.....
by Psynapse
Aug 18th, 2006
06:16:46 PM
fuck too soon it is too early!
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 18th, 2006
06:35:38 PM
did i kill the tb again?
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 19th, 2006
05:28:22 PM
That'd be Turtle Power, I assume?
by Thalya
Aug 19th, 2006
06:31:51 PM
In other news, it's pretty much official that...
by Thalya
Aug 19th, 2006
06:44:21 PM
And wait..
by Thalya
Aug 19th, 2006
06:45:28 PM
Ok..
by Thalya
Aug 19th, 2006
06:46:42 PM
That would suck
by El Vale
Aug 19th, 2006
06:55:22 PM
I hate Vertigo.
by Thalya
Aug 19th, 2006
07:48:49 PM
It's "Vale picks random fights" week!
by El Vale
Aug 19th, 2006
09:41:59 PM
But don't you always pick random fights, Vale?
by Thalya
Aug 19th, 2006
10:39:09 PM
Stomach churning revulsion?
by El Vale
Aug 19th, 2006
11:07:35 PM
To be fair
by El Vale
Aug 20th, 2006
02:51:41 AM
...
by blackthought
Aug 20th, 2006
09:00:45 AM
Gardner is seriously due for a change in hairstyle...
by dregmobile
Aug 21st, 2006
12:32:36 AM
And I don't think anyone here really cares,
by dregmobile
Aug 21st, 2006
03:09:16 AM
Throws lots of vegetables at dreg
by El Vale
Aug 21st, 2006
04:23:57 AM
shoot, i'd throw veg too but i haven't ate one..
by blackthought
Aug 21st, 2006
09:39:59 AM
DAMN YOU MONDAYS! DAMN YOU TO HELLLLLLL!
by GreatA'Tuin
Aug 21st, 2006
11:10:16 AM
I'm tired of these motherfugging Mondays...
by The Heathen
Aug 21st, 2006
11:44:31 AM
8*)
by The Heathen
Aug 21st, 2006
11:49:48 AM
8*)
by GreatA'Tuin
Aug 21st, 2006
12:11:14 PM
OMG look!
by El Vale
Aug 21st, 2006
12:52:48 PM
heh, emo kid
by The Heathen
Aug 21st, 2006
02:09:06 PM
Monday you vile rogue
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 21st, 2006
02:20:53 PM
and thalya
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 21st, 2006
02:24:59 PM
Heath
by El Vale
Aug 21st, 2006
02:26:02 PM
8*) might mean...
by SleazyG.
Aug 21st, 2006
02:31:04 PM
Oh Sleazy
by El Vale
Aug 21st, 2006
02:33:26 PM
I see they've gotten to you, too, Sleazy...
by GreatA'Tuin
Aug 21st, 2006
02:55:57 PM
...
by blackthought
Aug 21st, 2006
03:21:45 PM
*thunk*
by Thalya
Aug 21st, 2006
03:31:11 PM
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
by GreatA'Tuin
Aug 21st, 2006
04:11:30 PM
huh, thanks Sleazy
by The Heathen
Aug 21st, 2006
04:29:23 PM
Questions & Answers..
by Thalya
Aug 21st, 2006
04:45:54 PM
Well bitches, here it is:
by El Vale
Aug 21st, 2006
04:53:39 PM
Vale, you're no Dave Chapelle
by Thalya
Aug 21st, 2006
04:56:49 PM
Thalya, you're a bitch
by El Vale
Aug 21st, 2006
04:59:50 PM
i would say
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 21st, 2006
05:05:22 PM
There's only love when you start givin' it, sweetums
by Thalya
Aug 21st, 2006
05:09:57 PM
Darth
by El Vale
Aug 21st, 2006
05:14:53 PM
The Exterminators: Bug Brothers
by Psynapse
Aug 21st, 2006
06:13:10 PM
my name is kal
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 21st, 2006
06:29:13 PM
HI, KAL!
by The Heathen
Aug 21st, 2006
07:08:06 PM
Just saw the Lost finale
by El Vale
Aug 21st, 2006
08:02:12 PM
Exxxxactly
by The Heathen
Aug 21st, 2006
08:13:14 PM
i agree with my fellow colombian...
by blackthought
Aug 21st, 2006
08:26:01 PM
Sorry to get you guys off your tangent, but...
by Thalya
Aug 21st, 2006
08:50:54 PM
I was blown away
by El Vale
Aug 21st, 2006
08:53:54 PM
yes ill read it
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 21st, 2006
09:00:24 PM
ah yes, desmond brothah
by blackthought
Aug 21st, 2006
09:01:28 PM
Dudes named Yorick certainly do rule
by El Vale
Aug 21st, 2006
09:41:21 PM
SUCH
by El Vale
Aug 21st, 2006
09:45:16 PM
I was going to pick up Manhunter soon anyway
by dregmobile
Aug 21st, 2006
09:56:05 PM
i noticed that too
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 21st, 2006
09:58:30 PM
...
by blackthought
Aug 22nd, 2006
02:04:23 AM
I've got Manhunter 1-3 and 20-current
by The Heathen
Aug 22nd, 2006
10:57:56 AM
DUDES
by Shigeru
Aug 22nd, 2006
11:08:11 AM
in other news
by Shigeru
Aug 22nd, 2006
11:16:32 AM
Fables am good food...
by GreatA'Tuin
Aug 22nd, 2006
11:20:36 AM
Who could replace the Bagman?
by loodabagel
Aug 22nd, 2006
11:49:34 AM
Bagley's replacement
by Shigeru
Aug 22nd, 2006
12:09:58 PM
and in case you forgot
by Shigeru
Aug 22nd, 2006
12:13:10 PM
squeeling with glee is always good
by The Heathen
Aug 22nd, 2006
12:14:35 PM
I didn't get no paley legs picture
by Shigeru
Aug 22nd, 2006
12:18:45 PM
check your MySpace, Shig
by The Heathen
Aug 22nd, 2006
12:56:40 PM
ahahhhahahhaha
by Shigeru
Aug 22nd, 2006
01:11:05 PM
Sorry, but there are some shitty issues of PREACHER.
by SleazyG.
Aug 22nd, 2006
01:16:54 PM
Sleaze
by El Vale
Aug 22nd, 2006
02:00:11 PM
Shig
by El Vale
Aug 22nd, 2006
02:03:56 PM
It's not all laughs, Vale.
by SleazyG.
Aug 22nd, 2006
02:03:58 PM
Hetero Man Love....
by GreatA'Tuin
Aug 22nd, 2006
02:10:03 PM
THALYA: Start reading Fables NOW
by Psynapse
Aug 22nd, 2006
02:10:40 PM
no problem Vale, like I said, I skipped the posts
by Shigeru
Aug 22nd, 2006
02:12:42 PM
I HATE YOU!!!!!!!
by El Vale
Aug 22nd, 2006
02:16:01 PM
woo, October 4th!
by The Heathen
Aug 22nd, 2006
02:33:11 PM
it wasn't a purse in my pic...
by Shigeru
Aug 22nd, 2006
03:10:57 PM
Heath...words fail
by GreatA'Tuin
Aug 22nd, 2006
03:22:00 PM
What a bunch of Fags......
by Psynapse
Aug 22nd, 2006
03:26:10 PM
Hey now son!
by Shigeru
Aug 22nd, 2006
03:40:39 PM
Walking dead
by El Vale
Aug 22nd, 2006
03:52:12 PM
Ask Heath about the pic
by Shigeru
Aug 22nd, 2006
04:07:34 PM
Death Cab
by GreatA'Tuin
Aug 22nd, 2006
04:12:41 PM
Please email, PLEASE!
by El Vale
Aug 22nd, 2006
04:14:06 PM
All American Rejects
by Shigeru
Aug 22nd, 2006
04:16:03 PM
What Shig said.
by The Heathen
Aug 22nd, 2006
04:17:04 PM
All American Rejects?
by The Heathen
Aug 22nd, 2006
04:19:58 PM
Punk
by El Vale
Aug 22nd, 2006
04:23:00 PM
Well said, Vale
by GreatA'Tuin
Aug 22nd, 2006
04:41:15 PM
Email's a comin' Vale
by The Heathen
Aug 22nd, 2006
04:41:50 PM
Oh, and my credibility...
by GreatA'Tuin
Aug 22nd, 2006
04:43:45 PM
American Idol?
by The Heathen
Aug 22nd, 2006
04:46:30 PM
still, not stikk
by The Heathen
Aug 22nd, 2006
04:49:20 PM
dont know
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 22nd, 2006
04:55:01 PM
check him out, Y!!!
by The Heathen
Aug 22nd, 2006
05:00:30 PM
More Dude
by The Heathen
Aug 22nd, 2006
05:33:55 PM
sounds good heath i will do that for sure
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 22nd, 2006
05:40:44 PM
Darth, fear not...
by GreatA'Tuin
Aug 22nd, 2006
06:09:42 PM
Thanks Heath
by El Vale
Aug 22nd, 2006
07:09:01 PM
Belle and Sebastian aren't emo, goddammit.
by SleazyG.
Aug 22nd, 2006
07:36:37 PM
FUCK AFI.
by SleazyG.
Aug 22nd, 2006
07:42:20 PM
Ben Gibbard out-Morriseys Morrisey.
by SleazyG.
Aug 22nd, 2006
07:47:44 PM
Wow
by El Vale
Aug 22nd, 2006
08:24:12 PM
Are you kidding? I love this.
by GreatA'Tuin
Aug 22nd, 2006
08:53:09 PM
Truth is...
by El Vale
Aug 22nd, 2006
09:00:31 PM
all the different bands your mentioning
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 22nd, 2006
09:08:26 PM
but serioulsy
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 22nd, 2006
09:10:32 PM
Linkin Park, Live, and Juno Reactor
by Thalya
Aug 22nd, 2006
09:23:10 PM
Darth
by El Vale
Aug 22nd, 2006
09:25:37 PM
Oh, and Turtle?
by Thalya
Aug 22nd, 2006
09:26:18 PM
Who?
by Thalya
Aug 22nd, 2006
09:27:01 PM
Vale's late in the week, totally out of left field--
by El Vale
Aug 22nd, 2006
10:58:46 PM
damn i just read that mori column...
by blackthought
Aug 23rd, 2006
12:55:13 AM
oh...
by blackthought
Aug 23rd, 2006
12:56:36 AM
Punk. I cannot comment ...
by dregmobile
Aug 23rd, 2006
01:27:43 AM
It's settled then
by Thalya
Aug 23rd, 2006
08:23:57 AM
I never called Belle & Sebastian emo.
by Shigeru
Aug 23rd, 2006
10:00:51 AM
music stuff
by The Heathen
Aug 23rd, 2006
10:59:22 AM
I don't recall ever bringing up the word "emo"...
by GreatA'Tuin
Aug 23rd, 2006
11:05:50 AM
Rollins is the man
by The Heathen
Aug 23rd, 2006
11:10:18 AM
The Descent does indeed rock as well.
by The Heathen
Aug 23rd, 2006
11:20:07 AM
I could keep talking
by Shigeru
Aug 23rd, 2006
11:29:03 AM
nah
by The Heathen
Aug 23rd, 2006
11:31:11 AM
bastardo
by Shigeru
Aug 23rd, 2006
11:37:02 AM
Well you came and you gave without takin'...
by SleazyG.
Aug 23rd, 2006
11:38:15 AM
You DO know Mandy was about a dog, right?
by Psynapse
Aug 23rd, 2006
11:47:40 AM
Mandy or Brandy?
by Thalya
Aug 23rd, 2006
12:07:09 PM
Nope, I mean "Mandy"...
by SleazyG.
Aug 23rd, 2006
12:24:54 PM
Mandy is a great song. True.
by The Heathen
Aug 23rd, 2006
12:47:57 PM
whens
by Darth Kal-El
Aug 23rd, 2006
01:43:04 PM
Mandy's about a DOG?!
by El Vale
Aug 23rd, 2006
02:05:26 PM
aw sweet i've pulled ahead
by blackthought
Aug 23rd, 2006
02:21:43 PM
about the Paris Hilton album
by The Heathen
Aug 23rd, 2006
03:04:19 PM
i just read a review of the outkast album...
by blackthought
Aug 23rd, 2006
04:32:53 PM
couldn't agree more, black
by The Heathen
Aug 23rd, 2006
07:38:15 PM
test
by DennyNewH
Aug 23rd, 2006
09:01:56 PM
i dunno...
by blackthought
Aug 23rd, 2006
10:04:00 PM
I dunno
by The Heathen
Aug 24th, 2006
04:15:15 PM
sniffles...
by blackthought
Aug 25th, 2006
02:52:27 PM
fuck that
by Joey P. Brenner
Aug 25th, 2006
07:25:15 PM
uh-huh
by blackthought
Aug 26th, 2006
12:57:24 PM
yep
by The Heathen
Aug 28th, 2006
07:48:21 PM
Watch this...
by loodabagel
Sep 7th, 2006
10:24:00 AM
Last.
by loodabagel
Oct 3rd, 2006
09:21:52 AM
Get out of here?
by loodabagel
Oct 4th, 2006
09:22:01 AM
Truth be told
by Squashua
Dec 19th, 2006
09:31:04 PM
This thread lives???
by 0rcus
Jan 19th, 2007
12:43:58 PM

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