Hi, everyone. "Moriarty" here with some Rumblings From The Lab...

Can’t wait. It’s strange... I wasn’t excited when Kevin Smith first announced this film, but the more I’ve seen and the more I’ve heard, the more I am dying to see it, and it really does sound like something special. Damn youse, JinXy Chaos, for having seen this already. At least you took the time to send us this review...

Greetings Harry and Crew,

JinXy Chaos here. Its been awhile since Ive sent something in but I was granted a early peak at Clerks II last week and I thought Id drop a line.

Firstly, this was one of the strangest screenings Ive been to, it was insanely last-minute, few people got the invite, and it was not a press or test screening. No matter how it happened Im glad it did.

I know many people including myself wondered if Kevin had lost his nerve after Jersey Girl and just wanted to play in a pond where he knew the water and could avoid jumping any sharks. He seemed to be pretty happy about the production and the direction of the film based on interviews or items on his various websites and I cant knock the guy for returning to his roots…hell Ive got how many versions of Star Wars? If George Lucas can rape your childhood then Kevin can play a secret touching game with my early twenties I suppose- he did promise candy if I got in the car- so away I went.

The movie begins on the familiar, yet changed mug of Dante, who I swear could pass for Ricky Gervaiss (The Office- BBC) brother or younger self. If Kevin ever goes for Clerks III, Ricky needs to play Dantes father or older brother.

Moments into the film, The Quickstop is taken away from Dante and Randal and we flash forward to a year later to find that these two havent even moved one step forward in life. They have taken a step to the side instead and accept another mind-numbing gig over at the Moobys.

The basic Clerks formula is still here: Dantes self loathing and desire to make something happen in his life, Randals sharp tongue and love for slacking, the girl trouble, the annoying customers, the Jay, the Silent Bob, the cameos, and most the things that youd expect from a Kevin Smith movie. Gone however are most of the in-jokes and the army of returning guests from the rest of the Jersey Saga. While I feel like it was a good choice to dial it down after the overload that Jay and Silent Strikes Back was, I still missed them.

We get a few new characters, most of which are there to drive a scene or a joke but with a movie like this, it does fly for the most part even if it does just serve as a diving board for some geek diatribe of Star Wars VS Lord of the Rings at times. I admit Im still on the fence as far as one of the new main characters in the Jersey Verse: Elias. Hes a tad more on the annoying side than the quirky/funny side with his innocence and love of all things Transformers, Lord of the Rings, and all things Jebus. He seems like a character without a past or reason to exist outside of being a lightening rod for Randals wicked mouth. He does make a good target for Randal to verbally batter though, so its at least amusing.

The best new addition to the Jersey Verse is Becky played by the perfectly cast Rosario Dawson. Shes the girl most guys would club baby seals to get with. Shes fun, shes hot, shes uncomplicated, so quirky cool that she wouldnt even avert her eyes if she caught you watching a donkey show straight outta TJ. She fits right in with the boys and holds her own.

We also get a full dose of Emma, a new character, but not new cast member, played by Kevins wife Jennifer. Shes meant to be hated in this movie or sort of hated, but you never get enough of her to hate nor pity and I think thats probably the biggest missed opportunity in the cast. We know shes rich, we know shes engaged to Dante, we know she has a big clit, we know she hates Randal, and shes got Dante by the short hairs, but thats about it.

The Affleck'd One does pop up in this film but its for 90 seconds, and doesnt amount to anything more then just a wink. Jason Lee shows up and at first I thought he was playing Earl from his TV show, but hes got a new creepy character who turns out to be the only person in the world who can bust Randals verbal kung fu. Its like watching Bruce Lee get his ass handed to him. Its not pretty, no matter how much you like those Chuck Norris jokes.

The beginning of the film gives us a promise of a new and improved Jay and Silent Bob, but aside from the opening bits from them they are the same characters as always. But thats not really here or there, its just like adding what every movie needs: MORE COWBELL! But there is a moment from Jay that I think will live on, burned into people minds like a train wreck, and while I cannot...nay, will not spoil this for anyone, it I will tell you its classic and pays off huge. My partner in crime (lets call her Powder) nearly had a medical emergency over this scene and couldnt breathe for a few moments, I had thought FINALLY! I get to practice those CPR classes But thats a different story.

Flashbacks and flash forwards aside, the movie follows the same idea of a single work day in the life of Dante Hicks, instead of Im not suppose to be here today its Its my last day here. (Doesnt say it much though thankfully) Hes leaving for Florida and jumping ship from Jersey for good with Emma. Randal struggles with the idea of being left behind and it shows more and more as the film goes on and Randal becomes even more distraught and cruel, for a guy of few silences, he just doesnt know how to communicate his feelings at all.

As always, Dantes life plans are set adrift when it gets complicated by real life and situations he just cannot control or understand. So, when everything builds to a head and he doesnt find himself at the conclusion most people would, he stalls, and meanders through it until the choice is so painfully obvious even Jay could see it.

If you identified with the movie 10 years ago chances are its still going to ring true for most people (us slacker types, who like to bitch..talkbackers Im looking at you) and its a lot of fun. Though I admit I left the theater feeling like I had a strange warped sense of Déjà vu- like I wasnt sure what to think at first, it was Clerks, but at the same time it was in color and had some parts of Jersey Girl thrown in or contaminated (depending on your point of view), all in all, the movie is pretty damn funny and the plot has more going on then the first Clerks, in that it goes outside the short time frame and gives a sense of whats gone on between the films and what could happen after, instead of just keeping the status quo of the first film. It feels more complete as a film than Clerks did and its a good thing.

Personally, I hope Kevin follows Jay and Silent Bob on some silly adventure, where Jay becomes an Astronaut and finds a new alien life form, and nails it.

Hope you can use this,

JinXy Chaos

Nice work, man.

"Moriarty" out.