Ahoy, squirts! Quint here... it's already past 5am as I type this and I have to take my elderly dog to the vet tomorrow afternoon (hope it's not serious, but he's having trouble walking... some control issue with his hind legs), so I'm not gonna have time to do a long drawn out review of CHICKEN LITTLE for ya'. Not that I necessarily would have anyway, but just so's you know.

First off, I got a chance to see this in that newfangled Digital projection 3-D and my God, the 3-D was great. The image was bright, the lenses polarized so it didn't make my head want to explode by the end of the first reel, the 3-D fun and easy on the eyes. If this is the first step in the future of 3-D, count me in. James Cameron tells us that KING KONG will be released in this kind of 3-D a few months after its release. I'm very interested in seeing how a live action film shot on film looks in 3-D compared to the completely digital computer animation in CHICKEN LITTLE.

I wish the movie made me feel as happy as watching it in 3-D did.

I entered into the AICN chatroom when I got home from catching up on my SOUTH PARK and CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM thanks to a friend's DVR and was asked immediately about CHICKEN LITTLE. "Is it diet Pixar?" After barely a moment's thought, I responded, "No, it's Diet Dreamworks." That about sums up the movie.

Pixar's films are the gold standard of modern American animated films, to be sure. I'm not one to think that every traditional or computer animated film has to be just like Pixar. I loved LILO & STITCH. It didn't have the Pixar feeling... more of a "Good Disney" feeling. So, don't think I just blew this movie off because it wasn't as geek friendly and expertly done as IRON GIANT or THE INCREDIBLES.

The movie is just dull and beats you to death with its message.

The story opens with CHICKEN LITTLE banging the town bell, causing mayhem and confusion as he cries that the sky is falling! He shows the town the place where he got hit and finds the piece of sky that hit him is missing. The only thing on the ground is an acorn, so his misery starts. Nobody believes him, his father is embarrassed by him and he just can't seem to catch a break.

That's the set up.

The animation wasn't bad, but not really inspired. If it wasn't for the 3-D element, I probably wouldn't have been impressed at all with the artistry of the film. The characters are well designed... at least most of them are. Chicken Little himself has a great, unique look. One of his friends is a fish with his head in a bowl that has water in it, so he can walk around, right? This was my favorite character, but one of my friends (a substitute teacher) remarked that this character is eerily modeled after a retarded kid that has to wear a helmet. Looking at him now, she was so right! The fish is goofy, his eyes are way far apart, a smile permanently fixed on his face and he seems filled with childish glee. The retarded fish was really funny, even if he wasn't in the movie too much.

There's an alien baby later in the film that is designed and animated rather well. It's the closest this film got to having its own Stitch or Boo. The animators are best with this 3-eyed fuzzy wuzzy creature, giving him a lot of personality... I guess that's because he doesn't ever speak a word of English, so they don't give him a chance to become annoying with a pop culture reference or a line of out of place slang.

The movie falls apart for me because of the the stupid winky-winks to the audience and the ridiculous subplot about Chicken Little not being able to speak to his father. It's not a bad idea, the father/son dysfunctional relationship, but I don't know how many times they go out of their way to keep telling us, "Things would be better if you'd just talk to your dad" over and over and over again. There's even a moment when Chicken Little actually has a piece of the sky and has the proof to show his father that he wasn't crazy... but he doesn't. Why? So they could tell us for another 45 minutes how much better it'd be if Chicken Little had talked to his dad, that's why.

There is one character, a fat pig who spends half his screen time burping, farting, shoveling food into his mouth and being a big fat klutz and the other half of his time singing some random pop song.

While I really must admit to getting a kick out of the KING KONG reference at the beginning of the movie (the retarded fish builds a paper Empire State Building complete with paper bi-planes and a paper Ann Darrow and acts out Kong for about 20 seconds), the constant nods to modern movies (WAR OF THE WORLDS got a lot of nods, actually) and that goddamned modern pop music just grated on me! Not to mention the phrase "Oh, snap!" is used not only once, but twice. Sigh...

That's why I said it's less Diet Pixar and more Diet Dreamworks. SHREK suffered from the same pop culture hiccups, but the writing was much more sharp. This feels like it could be made in the same universe as SHREK and SHARK'S TALE. It's not quite as bad as SHARK'S TALE, but the faults of both movies are very similar.

The 3-D is outstanding, though. If you're in a city that has the digital 3-D option and are even thinking about seeing this movie, stay the hell away from 2-D. The 3-D was the only thing keeping me constantly involved and not bored out of my head.

Oh, and for people with families that think this movie didn't work for me because I'm not the target age group... A friend took his family to a 2-D advance screening and his under 5 year old kids (girl and boy) didn't like the film. During the 3-D screening a kid sitting in the row in front of me asked his dad asked, "Is it over yet?" about halfway through.

That's about all I have to say about the movie. The night's just starting to turn light outside, so I better quit and get some sleep. Hope that review wasn't too difficult to get through. Thanks for all those who have emailed me Holiday Shopping Guide suggestions! Got some great stuff! Keep them coming!!!

-Quint