I am – Hercules!!

JULES: You know the shows on TV?
VINCENT: I don't watch TV.
JULES: Yeah, but, you are aware that there's an invention called television, and on this invention they show shows, right?

Quentin Tarantino, in my view one of the greatest filmmakers in the history of history? No snob when it comes to television.

Tarantino’s love of “Kung Fu” and “Star Trek” is well-documented, but I also remember him talking recently about how great he thought James Caan was on NBC’s “Las Vegas.” He directed an episode of “Jimmy Kimmel Live.” He plays a recurring role as criminal mastermind McKenas Cole on “Alias.” In 1995, a few months after “Pulp Fiction” cemented his star status, he directed the almost-last episode of “ER’s” first season.

And he directed tonight’s two-hour fifth-season finale of “CSI,” another blockbuster Thursday-night series with initials where its title should be. Series creator Anthony Zuiker wrote the teleplay, but Tarantino supplied the story, which deals with a vengeful criminal who buries alive a member of the CSI team. The installment also marks the last filmed appearance of Frank "He's Black On The Left Side" Gorshin, who died only hours ago.

*****

Tonight’s the last Thursday of sweeps, and the last Thursday of the regular TV season, and Tarantino’s main competition is likely the live season finale of “The Apprentice,” during which the Donald will crown hottie 26-year-old real estate broker Kendra Todd his latest high-paid lackey.

Also on tap are the season finales of, among other things, “The O.C.” and “ER.” The latter marks the last regular appearance of Noah Wylie, who plays John Carter of Mars.

Set your VCRs and PVRs, then take up valuable bandwidth with your predictions and reactions:

“CSI”: 8 p.m. Thursday. CBS.
“The OC”: 8 p.m. Thursday. Fox.
“The Apprentice”: 9 p.m. Thursday. NBC.
“ER”: 10 p.m. Thursday. NBC.

Look! Some of Quentin Tarantino’s favorite TV shows on season-box DVD!!
Alias
CSI
Fox Force Five
Kung Fu
Star Trek

And look! The “ER” season in which Quentin Tarantino made his television directorial debut!!
ER 1.x

Looking for bumper stickers, plush toys and girls’ underwear covered with cute cartoon double-amputees? Visit The Herc Store!