Father Geek here on this wet, dreary, cold day in Central Texas (Guess the Film Gods are preparing me for the trip to Seattle) with a new weekly report from our agent downunder. Its a short one, but there's some cool little bits of info for the compulsive news-gatherer junkies out there... amaze your friends with these most esoteric of film related items...

Yeah, it looks pretty sweet. It looks awesome. It's incredible.

AICN-DOWNUNDER

Ladies and Gentlemen, it is a miracle I managed to get this column written. You see, I amongst those who has purchased HALO 2, and have been obsessively playing it since bringing it home. I'm barely a third of the way through the game, but I'll tell you this: if HALO 2 is half as good as the first HALO, it'll be the greatest game ever made.

But onto actual film news... Michael Winterbottom's NINE SONGS has been given an X classification, meaning that it's officially classed as pornography and cannot be released onto screens. Accent Films will be appealing this decision, so there's still a chance it will get a release with an R rating.

NINE SONGS was released uncut in the UK and Ireland. Winterbottom is not a pornographer, but a filmmaker who has made such films as WELCOME TO SARAJEVO and 24 HOUR PARTY PEOPLE. As I've said in a previous column, there is a distinct line between pornography designed to get the viewer off, and narrative films that happen to contain actual sex. You can't use bullet point-style rules to define which is which, you need people with a capacity for understanding nuance. That is why the OFLC uses *guidelines*, not steadfast rules.

More on the appeal in coming weeks.

NEWS

* If you're a Tamworth, NSW resident, something's coming your way that has nothing to do with country music. Well, we don't know who'll be providing the score, so that might not be entirely true. "Nate" has written in about SUPERMAN filming to let us know that the Kent Farm exteriors and interiors are being built at Fox Studios in Sydney. The exteriors will then be shipped down to Tamworth, and will be among the first scenes filmed. Work has also begun on sets for the Daily Planet offices and other mysterious sets. A tip for the filmmakers: there's a brothel in Melbourne called The Daily Planet, and it has those words in big letters across the front of the building. You could save yourself a bunch of money on building an exterior location...

* Come next March, production will begin on G'DAY LA, an (I can barely write the words) outback comedy romp. Despite the fact that the majority of Australia's population lives in coastal cities and have little-to-no interest in the endless stream of outback comedies, and despite the fact that the only cinemas that play these films are in said coastal cities, you really have to wonder why shit like this gets funded over and over again. Best case scenario? The film turns out to be terrific and I eat my words. Somehow I don't seen that happening; I've been burned too many times.

* Australia's cable station The Movie Network has announced its plans to produce a local version of the only Ben Affleck project in recent memory that hasn't lost all of its money, Project Greenlight. For those of you unfamiliar with the series (and with all the reality crap we get forced onto our screens from the US, you'd think we'd also get the only one that sounds interesting but nooooooo), people submit their feature-length scripts, the best one is chosen and given a budget, and the process is documented and put on your televisual box. It'll be great to see at least one more Australian film get made... unless, of course, it turns out to be an "outback comedy romp".

* All of you Yankees who read AICN-D, you'll be pleased to know that SOMERSAULT will be released in the US following its embarrassingly-complete sweep at the Australian Film Institute Awards recently. Magnolia Pictures will release the film.

AWARDS AND FESTIVALS

IF AWARDS

The not-quite-anti-AFI awards were held last week, with SOMERSAULT doing well, but not being the total dominatrix. Colin Friels took out Best Actor for TOM WHITE, LOVE'S BROTHER took out production design for Paul Heath, THE OLD MAN WHO READ LOVE STORIES won editing for Tania Nehme, and ONE PERFECT DAY received the sound award for Paul Pirola, Glen Newnham, Josh Abrams and John McKerrow. SOMERSAULT did, however, pick up Best Film and Best Screenplay.

BOX OFFICE

Still haven't seen anything in forever, but isn't it heartening to see HERO in top spot? Hopefully I'll be able to catch that and ANCHORMAN (finally!) this coming week.

Here's what's on top downunder...

• 1. HERO
• 2. THE FORGOTTEN
• 3. SHALL WE DANCE?
• 4. THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE
• 5. COLLATERAL

RELEASED THIS WEEK

The bank accounts of all middle-aged women in the country drops by about sixteen dollars, Penelope Cruz does what every woman does after being dumped by Tom Cruise (a film where she must where nose prosthetics), the first feature adaptation of an AICN banner ad hits the arthouse circuit, and the two giant superstars of our time (Tom Sizemore and Cole Hauser) team up for a revenge film that will excite only actors.

Annd here's what's new downunder...

• BRIGET JONES: THE EDGE OF REASON
• DON'T MOVE
• NAPOLEON DYNAMITE
• PAPPARAZI

NEXT WEEK

- Billy Boyd and Dominic Monaghan star as a pair of magical English nannies who take care of a banker's children in MERRY PIPPINS

- Producers deny that Clive Owen, Hugh Jackman, Eric Bana and Ewan Macgregor are being considered for the title role in AGENT CODY BANKS 3

- Latauro fails to think of Next Week jokes, recycles year-old ones, and nobody notices! Hooray!

Peace out,

Latauro

AICNDownunder@hotmail.com