Buffy 7.14 FAQ

What’s it called?

“First Date.”

Who’s responsible?

Teleplay is credited to comedy genius Jane Espenson (“Same Time, Same Place”).

What did Herc say about this one in his Jan. 24 “Buffy” spoilers?

Buffy dates her boss (!), who later reveals a heretofore unknown connection to Spike (!). Xander dates somebody who looks just like the popstress Ashanti. Willow dates a plucky potential.

What does TV Guide say?

“A dinner invitation from Principal Wood piques Buffy's curiosity - and her suspicions; Anya fumes when Xander lassoes a date with a flirtatious woman (Ashanti) interested in rope; Giles struggles to communicate with a new Potential who speaks only Vietnamese. Kennedy: Iyari Limon. Andrew: Tom Lenk. Prinicpal Wood: D.B. Woodside”

What is TV Guide not telling us?

TV Guide lies to us again. The new potential doesn’t speak Vietnamese. She speaks only Cantonese. Giles speaks no Cantonese, and whips up a set of flashcards – hilariously violent flashcards featuring illustrations designed perhaps to evoke many fond memories of “Hush.”

The big news?

This is easily 2003’s funniest “Buffy.” So far.

When do we learn how Giles escaped certain harbinger death?

In the episode’s opening seconds.

Was a mystical force-field involved?

No. Just some quick reflexes.

Does Spike finally lose the brain-chip the Initiative installed three and a half years ago?

Yes, before the episode begins. We learn of this also in the episode’s opening seconds.

Have Willow and Kennedy progressed beyond smoochage?

“Watch it,” Willow is told, “or I'm gonna make you talk about your new girlfriend who you hold hands with under the dinner table and think we don't notice.”

Does Principal Wood live up to his name? Is he hot for slayer?

Probably. We learn a lot about young Robin this week, but any romantic designs remain a tad murky by episode’s end.

How many “potential guys” turn up this week?

Only three turn up on screen: hot lesbian potential Kennedy, locally-reared potential Amanda, and newbie Chinese potential Chao-Ahn.

Why wasn’t Chloe around two weeks ago? Was she helping Giles pick up the Asian slayerette?

No light is shed on this matter.

Can Herc name even one song by Ashanti?

No. But she sure is purty!

Is the Ashanti character’s interest in rope the same shared by Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson?

No. She uses hers to suspend things from high places. Xander spots her at the home improvement center as she tries to sort out which kind of ropes she needs.

On a scale of one to ten, how jealous is Anya?

Maybe a nine. “It's part of a plan to make me jealous,” she frets. “Of course it's working. Observe my bitter ranting. Hear the shrill edge of hysteria in my voice.”

What’s doing with Dawn and Andrew?

Both very funny this week as they help engineer a sting operation designed to gather data on Morphy – who has taken on the appearance of Jonathan to tempt Andrew into murdering all the potentials.

Why doesn’t The First just trigger Spike?

Andrew wonders the same thing, but all we get in response is, “It's not time for him yet.”

What’s good?

The heaping helpings of revelation and, most gratifyingly, laugh-out-loud dialogue. The Chinese potential’s confusion in general (she’s never had a watcher), and her reaction to Giles’ hilarious flashcards in particular. Buffy’s ongoing interest in Spike in general and a reference to fencing in particular. Andrew’s encounters with Jonathan. The focus returned to Xander and Anya. And lots of other stuff.

What’s not so good?

Come Tuesday night, there might be some moaning about the circumstances of Giles’ escape.

How does it end, spoiler-boy?

Principal Wood thanks the First Evil.

Herc’s rating for “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” 7.14?

****

The Hercules T. Strong Rating System:

• ***** better than we deserve
• **** better than most motion pictures
• *** actually worth your valuable time
• ** as horrible as most stuff on TV
• * makes you quietly pray for bulletins

8 p.m. Tuesday. UPN.

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