Hey folks…. Can’t really say Harry here, because that really isn’t going to mean much in the right now. You see, I’m getting ready to set off on my grandest adventure yet.

As a reader of the site, you’ve gotten to come along with me on trips to the Czech Republic, Spain, New Zealand, Holland, England, Banff… all over tarnation. Well, now I venture forth to CHINA.

That’s right – the land of Sax Rohmer’s imagination. The stomping grounds of Wong Fei-hung! The ass-whupping world of Chen Zhen! This is where the heroes are blind, one-armed babycart pushing avengers of bloody hell! Where witches have enormous attacking tongues and the skilled martial artists can fly amongst the bamboo forests.

This is the country that actually has pillars of heaven to shake!

As of 6am this morning (Thursday) I will be on a plane headed from Austin to Chicago, then in one gigantic trans-Pacific flight… I’ll land in Beijing. Once there the adventure begins. There will be mountains and pack mules involved according to popular legend that I hear. For my first stop in this trip half way round the world will be to the Temple of The White Lotus Clan and the world of Pai Mei. The cruel sadistic kung fu master that will be teaching Quentin Tarantino’s Bride (Uma Thurman). That’s right, I’m headed to China to bring all of you back as much info as I can from the set of Quentin Tarantino’s 4th Film…

KILL BILL

It was September 13th, 2001 when I first gave you your first look at the Screenplay for KILL BILL… About 3 weeks ago the internet began spreading around a digital copy of Quentin’s latest script – and as I saw it begin to spread, I remember Quentin telling me that he fully expected the script to be online by March -- The net is slower than it used to be it seems.

Now what will I be seeing?

Word has it that I’ll be on set to witness some of Uma’s training under Pai Mei – originally it was planned that Quentin would be playing this ancient Chinese master of cruel martial arts… but the enormity of the work necessary in making KILL BILL made him decide to go with… wait for it… almost there… GORDON LIU! One of the original 5 MASTERS OF DEATH! An old school Shaw Brothers’ era Wong Fei Hung! One of the men from 7 MAN ARMY! An original hardcore kung fu star from the Shaw Brothers Empirical Reign as the deities of Martial Arts cinema! I’m jazzed… You see… In addition, I’ll be there for the scene that Pai Mei has with Darryl Hannah’s character… and for those that have read KILL BILL… you know what that means! Hehehe

I’ll also get to watch David Carradine kicking Spawn’s ass! That’s right, I’ll be there for Bill’s combat stuff with LaTanya Richardson’s L.F. O’Boyle’s men. Can’t…. Wait! To actually watch David Carradine in sword swinging action! How fucking cool does life get? Well it gets cooler actually!

Then I’ll watch Uma throwing a one armed Julie Dreyfus (who happens to be a lovely French actress by the name of Julie Dreyfus, not the Seinfeld siren of an all too similar name)into a trunk as she gives Bill a deadly message! COOOOOOOOOOL!!!

I’ll also be watching… and this is the part where I just begin to drool spontaneously in anticipation for… But I’m going to get to watch Sonny Chiba and Uma Thurman work together. I’ll get to watch Hattori Hanzo make a blade… wield a blade… perhaps sew up Uma’s back… Serve sushi… Whatever… I’m gonna get to see Sonny Chiba in real life doing what Chiba is known for… BEING THE GOD THAT HE IS! I mean… fucking A folks, in the presence of THE STREET FIGHTER!

This is just the beginning though… I don’t know if I’ll be watching actual cut together footage from KILL BILL or not, but I’ll be giving you the best assessment of what is going on on the set of the most ass kicking up and down both sides of every street in town Tarantino flick around.

I can’t wait to experience all this film craziness, but also to experience CHINA. My God the history of China makes history everywhere else seem like recalling a summer vacation you once had. I mean here is a country that has been established for several thousands of years. That just boggles the mind. I’m hoping to visit the Great Wall while there, see the sets of THE LAST EMPEROR… hehehe… And I know if I get hurled into a Chinese Prison that in addition to painting Star Wars figures for George Lucas, I shouldn’t piss in the middle of the bucket, but on its side… that way I don’t disturb my fellow prisoners. I know to look for bathrooms labeled WC and that have a rating of 4 stars so that my genitals are not eaten by various snakes and rats and other creatures that live in the black blood of the earth.

While there, I’ll be finding out as much as I can about GLORIOUS BASTARDS – the rumors about Yuen Woo-Ping and Quentin fighting about fight choreography on set. I do have major questions about this film. I have faith in Quentin, like very few filmmakers out there… but I’m the first to admit… this is unlike anything he’s ever attempted before.

Quentin isn’t known for his action directing ability. Obviously if he’s going from this into a ‘MEN ON A MISSION’ style war film, he’s going to be honing his skills. With Robert Richardson as his DP (THE HORSE WHISPERER, CASINO, NATURAL BORN KILLERS, JFK, THE DOORS, BORN OF THE FOURTH OF JULY, PLATOON and SALVADOR) he has a DP that knows how to work with semi-sane folks and deliver brilliant work. I’ll hopefully get to know the folks making this movie pretty well, I’ll be on set for 8 of the final 10 days of shooting.

Honestly, I just can’t believe I’m getting to sit back and take in Quentin direct his most ambitious film to date. I will endeavor to bring you all my experiences as soon as possible. The one question I have about this trip, is how on Earth am I going to be updating. My days on the Mountaintop… I know will be impossible. When I return to Beijing though, will I be able to plug my ol Apple G4 in and upload stuff? Will the connections be there for me to use, is there a phone number locally in Beijing to call for Internet Access?

See… it’s challenges like these that keep this job so exciting. I remember in Park City, Utah on my first Sundance, where I was in a room without any removable phone plug… I went to Radio Shack and made my own patch line into the phone… and got my updates going good! I’ve traveled all over the world and usually I’ve been able to update – Cannes was a bitch, but I did it! Now, I must conquer China.

In preparation for this trip, I’ve recently devoured all 3 of the new Tarantino DVDs… Artisan’s RESERVOIR DOGS DVD and Miramax’s two special edition discs of PULP FICTION and JACKIE BROWN. Of the 3, my favorite set has to be the JACKIE BROWN discs. If for no other reason than getting a chance to watch all of those trailers for Pam Grier and Robert Forster’s old films! Just classic stuff, and beautiful transfers of them too! Having the ability to put in a disc with 20 or so Pan Grier trailers, press the repeat group button and having that endless loop of Pam Grier goodness… That’s a luxury worth having!

Both of the Miramax discs are superior in terms of the sheer enormity of information on the discs. The amount of written information, Quentin’s article he wrote for SIGHT & SOUND about Monte Hellman’s great film RIDE IN THE WHIRLWIND. Reading this, makes me wish Quentin wrote more critical pieces about key films from the past. His is a voice that would be quite welcomed in a world of too much snobbery and pretension.

Now, I’ve heard some folks acting a bit weird about the RESERVOIR DOGS DVDs and let me just say that the discs I got were really quite nice. Finally having the full on super-widescreen Aspect ratio is just completely worth it right there alone. In addition, having the close ups of KNB’s ear cutting off scenes in the extras category… Well, if you love gore, this is a must! Now the little extra documentary things shot for this have the worst titles and lead ins off of any DVD I’ve ever seen, however… the actual documentary shorts themselves are particularly great. Specifically the tribute to Lawrence Tierney. And if Chris Penn’s story about his bar-b-que he had for Tierney doesn’t cause you do multiple spit laughs, there’s just something wrong with ya.

On the JACKIE BROWN and PULP FICTION DVDs – I really loved having the Siskel & Ebert segments about the films – and specifically watching the PULP FICTION disc’s inclusion of the S&E’s TARANTINO GENERATION special… God I miss Gene Siskel. Love Ebert to death, but for me… Roeper just doesn’t come close. Observe how precisely Siskel makes his points, the warmth and intelligence. Strangely enough, I was at Tarantino’s Film Fest when I received word of Gene’s passing… That was a bittersweet night - oddly enough we wound up watching MIGHTY PEKING MAN that night, which bizarrely enough I reviewed on my first appearance with Ebert on the show. Strange how the world works.

If you don’t hear from me over the next 9 days, realize it is due to net access problems – If I can get online, you’ll be getting daily updates like what I did with LORD OF THE RINGS. If not, I’ll be writing daily reports anyways, and soon as I return, they will be being posted daily.

In the meanwhile, famed screenwriter MORIARTY will be having a go of things here, helped by Father Geek and Hercules the Strong. I hope that you’ll enjoy what I’m going to be bringing you, and if you have questions or things you wish to know about Tarantino, Sonny Chiba, Uma Thurman, Darryl Hannah, Robert Richardson, Gordon Liu, Yuen Woo-Ping, KILL BILL, GLORIOUS BASTARDS, The Kill Bill Animated Projects, THE VEGA BROTHERS and whatnot… let em shoot in Talk Back below… If I get access over there, I’ll try to find out for y’all.

Till that day, I’ll be filing my “STAYING OUT OF TROUBLE IN LITERAL CHINA” reports as I can!

Mmmmmm Beijing Duck here I come!