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Published on Wednesday, July 3, 2002 - 8:02am |
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Don't Call The Ambulance! Seagal Ain't Dead Yet! HALF PAST DEAD'
Hey folks, Harry here... So far, we've had a pretty decent year of fun films. We've seen a trailer for a STAR TREK film that doesn't bear strong suck marks throughout. There is a Adam Sandler movie in our future that probably could be considered as intensely intelligent and heartfelt. Well... Think about it. It is a time for miracles, could Seagal have actually made a quality action film? The real question though is this... If Steven Seagal made a great action film, would any of us really give it a chance because of the agony and suffering that was ON DEADLY GROUND? Seagal was allegedly in Austin the other day at the Continental Club where AICN bopper, Johnny Wadd was wagging his third leg with the beat. Totally non-related, I'm just throwing that out there, because Johnny Wadd rarely adds relevance to AICN notes from time to time... But anyways, here ya go... Take the following review with MOUNTAINS OF SALT....
Hey Harry,
Looks like we may have a helluva sleeper on our hands.
I had the good fortune (yes, I said 'good') to catch a test screening of Half Past Dead last night in El Segundo and wanted to pass along some early buzz. I love action movies, but there is almost nothing as frustrating as sitting through two boring hours of chasing scenes stolen from other movies and battles where even a child could figure out who was going to win. That is why I absolutely loved Half Past Dead--it took the best parts of great action movies and kept out most of the other stupid crap.
When the movie started, I thought that I was watching Exit Wounds for the one-millionth time. I groaned thinking that I had already figured everything out. Fortunately, I was wrong. The story appears familiar: Ja Rule and Steven Seagal play captured thieves who get sent to the brand new Alcatraz and find out a secret from an inmate about to be electrocuted.
SPOILERS AHEAD:
You see, the inmate is the only person who knows where 200 million worth of gold is. The action really kicks into gear when Morris Chestnut (who actually pulls off the ultimate tough guy) and his team blow their way into the prison to start the chaos. Pretty soon, everyone is trying to outmanuever everyone in order to get the gold.
(END OF SPOILERS)
The acting was great--Ja Rule easily outdid his Fast and Furious performance. Even as a middle-aged man with a ponytail, Steven Seagal still qualifies as a badass. And Kurupt cracked me up. Plus, the special effects were tight -- with the requistie Matrix-style action scenes -- especially this one scene with the lead female (Nia Peeples) kicking ass.
The cut looked a little rough assuming there's still a little post-production work to be done. But, all in all, I was very pleasantly surprised with the film. This may just be the sleeper hit of the season. I think it comes out in November.
Later.
-Paul G.
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Reader Talkback
i don't get it... by tommy5tone | Jul 3rd, 2002 08:15:07 AM | Can you spell p-l-a-n-t? by glippyglipson | Jul 3rd, 2002 08:25:52 AM | Was that the one with Micheal
Caine in it. I think
that's o by scorpio2nd | Jul 3rd, 2002 08:51:23 AM | Sorry that came out wrong, i
meant to say what's your
favour by scorpio2nd | Jul 3rd, 2002 08:55:11 AM | Jar Jar Rule by Max Rockatansky | Jul 3rd, 2002 09:17:42 AM | Requisite Matrix-like
Action.......... by Rondo | Jul 3rd, 2002 09:51:29 AM | It's Seagal by Boston | Jul 3rd, 2002 09:57:30 AM | Seagal is a bad joke by VincentSpain | Jul 3rd, 2002 10:10:43 AM | Are any of his movies really
that good? by SnapperHead | Jul 3rd, 2002 10:15:19 AM | Look further than Ja Rule by Soul_Assassin | Jul 3rd, 2002 10:18:55 AM | huh? by PriestYoungblood | Jul 3rd, 2002 10:24:15 AM | "What does it take to change
the essence of a man?" by Osmosis Jones | Jul 3rd, 2002 10:33:54 AM | On Deadly Ground. by statto4ever | Jul 3rd, 2002 10:35:47 AM | Double Team by Max Rockatansky | Jul 3rd, 2002 10:42:53 AM | Will Sasso + Seagall's
album by Tar Heel | Jul 3rd, 2002 10:46:21 AM | I'd rather watch a Seagal
film than most of today's
Holl by Abyss | Jul 3rd, 2002 10:53:46 AM | I really liked Missy the
little pony in THE PATRIOT by Blake Falls | Jul 3rd, 2002 10:54:45 AM | An analysis of Ja Rule's
lines in The Fast and the
Furious by akbose01 | Jul 3rd, 2002 11:04:33 AM | seagal shoulda been the
kingpin! by tommy5tone | Jul 3rd, 2002 11:14:02 AM | Ja Rule easily outdid his Fast
and Furious performance.... by Aronld Scazziger | Jul 3rd, 2002 11:43:16 AM | I'm with Boston... by Dru | Jul 3rd, 2002 11:45:07 AM | PS to Tommy5Tone... by Dru | Jul 3rd, 2002 11:51:42 AM | This isn't just a plant,
it's a whole friggin'
garde by zacdilone | Jul 3rd, 2002 11:53:55 AM | Hey, all you gay-boys!! by andrecrabtree111 | Jul 3rd, 2002 12:11:02 PM | Aikido? by mbeemer | Jul 3rd, 2002 12:22:34 PM | Seagal rise in direct
correlation with... by ZSmooth | Jul 3rd, 2002 12:30:29 PM | thanks, dru by tommy5tone | Jul 3rd, 2002 12:41:56 PM | Abyss, WHAT?!?! by KillThrustKill | Jul 3rd, 2002 01:30:10 PM | Plant? Probably. by SPY-der | Jul 3rd, 2002 01:56:45 PM | Plant - Yeah Dude, Of Course! by wmorris99 | Jul 3rd, 2002 02:14:27 PM | Not convincing there bud by Vern | Jul 3rd, 2002 03:08:31 PM | great title,great plot +
seagal = box office gold! by Not The Messiah | Jul 3rd, 2002 03:37:44 PM | great title,great plot +
seagal = box office gold! by Not The Messiah | Jul 3rd, 2002 03:37:44 PM | great title,great plot +
seagal = box office gold! by Not The Messiah | Jul 3rd, 2002 03:37:45 PM | great title,great plot +
seagal = box office gold! by Not The Messiah | Jul 3rd, 2002 03:37:45 PM | oops my bad! by Not The Messiah | Jul 3rd, 2002 03:38:52 PM | this is so obvious a plant
that I am laughing out loud by stuftseveredhead | Jul 3rd, 2002 05:10:48 PM | The funny thing about
Seagal's work is they
surpass the prev by Tarl_Cabot | Jul 3rd, 2002 05:22:39 PM | Nia Peeples . . . by ProzacMorris | Jul 3rd, 2002 05:24:48 PM | Ahh, good old steven by TS Thomas | Jul 3rd, 2002 05:39:40 PM | a great idea... by sigma957 | Jul 3rd, 2002 05:52:08 PM | ProZack by sigma957 | Jul 3rd, 2002 05:53:57 PM | I agree, this review has to be
a plant. Nobody can possibly
enjo by Tarl_Cabot | Jul 3rd, 2002 06:12:15 PM | PORNO IS A MAN NAMED SEAGAL by TomVee | Jul 3rd, 2002 06:35:59 PM | The best interrogation of
Seagal's screen persona
can be fou by SHIVA | Jul 3rd, 2002 07:24:26 PM | Seagal is A DUMB MOFO for that
hypocritical and idiotic
speech a by FD Resurrected | Jul 3rd, 2002 07:37:55 PM | Great on-line parody of On
Deadly Ground by FD Resurrected | Jul 3rd, 2002 07:45:02 PM | The path to buddhist
enlightenment is littered with
corpses of S by Abyss | Jul 3rd, 2002 07:47:51 PM | My favorite eye-rolling scene
from On Deadly Ground was... by BloodDonorMan | Jul 3rd, 2002 08:34:53 PM | hey, vern, thanks for
reminding me about seagal
versus starr! by tommy5tone | Jul 3rd, 2002 09:42:05 PM | Seagal sucks by SLEAZY DINOSAUR | Jul 4th, 2002 12:55:13 AM | So is that the title or a
description of the careers of
it's by kodiak_j | Jul 4th, 2002 04:09:36 AM | eye rolling scene from On
Deadly Ground by Mandolorian | Jul 4th, 2002 12:35:44 PM | Bring on Above the Law 2 by Mandolorian | Jul 4th, 2002 12:45:05 PM | After i posted yesterday my
friend decided to show me
under sieg by scorpio2nd | Jul 4th, 2002 01:04:12 PM | Ah i see now NewYorkKid. I
hated My Father The Hero at
first be by scorpio2nd | Jul 4th, 2002 02:38:59 PM | Did anyone hear this Seagal
anecdote? about the $1,000,000
bet? by jackburtonlives | Jul 4th, 2002 09:18:24 PM | I truly believe every word of
this JackBurtonLives. I also
beli by scorpio2nd | Jul 4th, 2002 09:38:44 PM | sorry scorpio dude, you
misunderstood by jackburtonlives | Jul 4th, 2002 10:56:08 PM | michael dudikoff by jackburtonlives | Jul 4th, 2002 11:15:23 PM | Look no farther: STEVE JAMES
IS HERE!!! by stevejamesninja | Jul 5th, 2002 12:56:36 AM | The Seagal "versus 50 martial
arts guys" story sounds like a
loa by Abyss | Jul 5th, 2002 11:11:18 AM | Seagal's Lowest Point by Jeffem | Jul 5th, 2002 05:10:38 PM | DoEs SeaGaL biTChsLAP bAD
gUYs? by Louis P. | Jul 6th, 2002 02:14:47 AM | Seagal's Credentials by jackburtonlives | Jul 6th, 2002 06:11:24 AM | In response to Jackburtonlives by Buscemi 01 | Jul 6th, 2002 03:28:20 PM | My Opinion of Seagal by jackburtonlives | Jul 7th, 2002 12:32:40 AM | Seagal/Bob Wall Challenge Link by jackburtonlives | Jul 7th, 2002 12:54:17 AM | but who cares? by jackburtonlives | Jul 7th, 2002 06:10:31 AM | you've got to let these
thing go, man! by Abyss | Jul 7th, 2002 12:29:29 PM | all right, abyss and NYKid,
old jack says uncle by jackburtonlives | Jul 7th, 2002 07:33:46 PM |
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