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Elston Gunn's WEEKLY RECAP

damn its early by Jack Diamond	May 26th, 2001 06:36:50 AM
i can't wait to go back to sleep
but at least I'm first by Jack Diamond	May 26th, 2001 06:38:05 AM
M. Night's movie seems interestin. Wish I knew more about it.
Man....this is getting bad.... by Rant_Man	May 26th, 2001 07:01:46 AM
With this strike...it seems nothing interesting is in the works besides M. Night's movie...man...Hollywood is starting to suck....but whats new?
No Hitchcock remakes! by Hardyboy	May 26th, 2001 09:14:38 AM
C'mon. . .remaking a Hitchcock film is like repainting the Mona Lisa. Some things should NOT be done!
ok, first it was othello as O by BComing	May 26th, 2001 10:15:31 AM
now the great gatsby as G. what next? a streetcar named D?
Click HERE for the inside scoop on the big sequel to Pearl Harbo by Regis Travolta	May 26th, 2001 12:28:22 PM
PEARL HIROSHIMA is being rushed into production for a Christmas release. It will focus on a pair of Japanese soldiers in love with a geisha girl. Little do they know that in just 48 hours their little city on the bay of the sea of japan will be destroyed by the atomic bomb. State of the art special effects will be used to recreate the bomb blast and award-winning make-up by Stan Winston will be used to duplicate the ghastly effects of radiation burns on the survivors. Lucy Liu is set to play the geisha girl and two unknown men in Japan will be chosen by lottery to play the doomed soldiers. Producer is Jerry Shmuckheimer, Director is Michael Gay with Disney CEO Michael Eisner taking executive producer credit. Said Eisner, "We think 'Pearl Hiroshima' will be hugely popular at Tokyo Disneyland as a theme attraction and we plan on spinning it off as a sit-com for ABC to star Margaret Cho as a mutant survivor of the atomic blast." Look for it in a theater near you on Christmas Day! And, said Eisner, "If it does as well as we think, next summer we'll have the third part of the trilogy, 'Pearl Nagasaki' in theaters to compete against the next Star Wars movie. I can't wait to see the expression on George Lucas's fat face when he learns about this! That guy needs some neck liposuction or something."
A Piece of My Heart Plot Corrections by dmiles2go	May 26th, 2001 01:51:31 PM
A couple corrections to Elston's report. He spoke of the new indy film, "A Piece of My Heart" and said that it was about college girls who move to LA etc. In actuality, "A Piece of My Heart" is a China Beach like story of young women nurses in the Vietnam war. The stage play is higly minimalistic, I only hope that the film keeps the same stylization. I hope this clears things up. Thanks.
Road to Perdition - why the big budget? by Studio Lackey	May 26th, 2001 02:11:40 PM
Just a question...isn't The Road to Perdition just a period drama? Why is the budget so huge that the studio has to split the costs with another studio? Surely not just because of Tom Hanks's salary?
Big Budget by JonQuixote	May 26th, 2001 02:38:28 PM
Road To Perdition is more than just a period drama, but between Hanks, Newman, Law, the rest of the fairly well known cast, and Sam Mendes, not to mention Speilberg's producing credit, star salaries on the project probably run in the neighborhood of 40 mil, and that's before a single frame is shot (and the script is written).*** A hip-hop Great Gatsby. Hello Apocalypse! And lets add another spin to F Scott's rotation, courtesy of the talkbacker who referred to him as J Scott.
Regis, are you pinch-hitting for Buzz? by Hardyboy	May 26th, 2001 03:19:23 PM
That was one funny posting! Oh, and as for hip-hop literary adaptations, how's this? "Oliver Twist" becomes "O.T.: Tha Original Gangsta"!
What's with this hip hop remake crap? First Carmen, now they're by axelfoley	May 26th, 2001 03:30:42 PM
I've been out of high school for two years now. We did The Great Gatsby my junior year and let me tell you, if they butcher this story......wow. What the fuck?
Why should Fitzgerald hog all the hiphop? by JonQuixote	May 26th, 2001 04:10:08 PM
Personally, I can't wait for the gangsta version of Great Expectations: The Notorious P.I.P.!
This just in... by JonQuixote	May 26th, 2001 04:17:51 PM
Miramax is jumping in on the "rapping the classics" bandwagon. Recently it was announced that Ice Cube has signed on to star in an adaptation of George Eliot's most famous work. He'll play a reclusive pimp whose life is changed when he finds himself the guardian of a three year old child in the new movie SILAS MOTHERFUCKA. Chris Columbus is in talks to direct.
More Updates by JonQuixote	May 26th, 2001 04:28:50 PM
Hot on the heels that Sisqo has signed to play Pip in the WB's gangsta version of Great Expectations, joining a cast that already includes Queen Latifa as Miss Havisham and Beyonce Knowles as Estella, Disney has announced they have purchased a number of Kipling books, with the hopes they can be updated with an "urban sensibility". Rumor has it that the updated (L'il)Kim will be vying for compitition with the Richard Price scripted RIKI TIKI HOMIE for first on the production slate.
It's dead, Jim. by JonQuixote	May 26th, 2001 04:29:37 PM
Dammit I'm a doctor, not a satirist!
Buzz Maverik's Weekly Recap: Current Events Edition. by Buzz Maverik	May 27th, 2001 07:57:21 AM
TAKEN, JUST TAKEN,OKAY?...In an effort to stem the rolling brown-outs here in the movie state, California Gov. Gray Davis attempted to use the MK-Ultra National Guard to whack a few power company owners so they'd get the message and turn their plants over to the state. He failed when one guard member, known only as Moosey X, made the connection between Gray Davis and grey aliens (even though they spell their names differently, good thing spelling isn't Moosey's strong suit) and unmasked him as the bug-eyed, butt-probing cattle mutilator he really is. All of the guard had to have their memories wiped and extra deep probes...Lovebirds Jack Nicholson and Lara Flynn Boyle will team for a remake of THE LONG LONG TRAILER, originally starring Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz. Roseanne and Tom Arnold toyed with a remake back in the '90s. Producer Jake Gittes said,"This will be better because Lara is sexier than Roseanne, and Jack doesn't have as thick an accent as Desi."...With nothing whatsoever to lose in Hollywood, Elaine May (ISHTAR) and Michael Cimino (HEAVEN'S GATE) have teamed to make a female oriented action picture to compete with TOMB RAIDER this summer. THE PRODUCORS will use real Hollywood personalities as characters. It starts when the late Don Simpson calls every meglomaniac producer in Hollywood together one night for a big meeting in Griffith Park to call them "suckahs" and weld them into an army to take over the world. Lawrence Bender (Skeet Ulrich) shoots Simpson (Jack Black) and shouts, "Don and Jane did it!" The other producers jump Don Murphy (Phillip Seymour Hoffman) who has stopped to look at Simpson's corpse, and Jane Hamsher (Gwyneth Paltrow) flees to safety. The trouble is, she has to make it from Hollywood to Santa Monica with every producer in Hollywood out to kill her. Memorable fights include her battle with The Baseball Fatboys (Scott Rudin and Joel Silver) and her bathroom battle with Jon Peters (Josh Brolin) and Barbara Streisand (Minnie Driver). On the Santa Monica Pier, Jane faces off against Bender, who says he wasted Simpson because "I like doing things like that." Fortunately, Jerry Bruckheimer has shown up to hear the whole thing. Jane turns Bender over to him. He says she's good. She says she's the best...See you in the library.
Ah Buzz by DropKickMurphy	May 27th, 2001 03:46:06 PM
...you never go wrong...I think Minnie and Gwynnie would be funny in a movie together, but my original idea for that film is called "The Drop Kick Sandwich" and it's filmed ENTIRELY on VHS, and uhhh there's not too much dialogue. heheheh. Maybe I'll pitch this idea to them on THE PRODUCORS, interrupting them while they talk about which Good Will Hunter dumped them harder. That is all. and "it is time for stormy weather"-The Pixies.
More rap-oriented takes on classics by KingKrypton	May 27th, 2001 07:53:24 PM
1. OF MICE AND MEN remade as OF HOODRATS AND PIMPS, starring Eminem as Lenny and Vanilla Ice as George. 2. STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN remade as G TREK II: THE WRATH OF SUGE, starring Dr. Dre as Kirk, Tupac as Spock, and Suge as Khan. 3. PINOCCHIO remade as P. WOODY, starring any one of the Cash Money Millionaires (they're as wooden as it gets). 4. 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA remade as 20,000 Gs UNDER THE HOE. 5. A CHRISTMAS CAROL remade as A GANGSTA BITCH CHRISTMAS CAROL, with the Notorious BIG, Eazy-E, and Big Pun as the three ghosts. 6. JANE EYRE remade as J-EY, starring Jennifer Lopez and Puff Daddy. 7. DR. JEKYLL & MR. HYDE remade as DR. HOMEY & MR. HOOD, starring Mystikal and DMX, respectively. 8. FRANKENSTEIN remade as GANGSTASTEIN, with Dre as the doctor and Snoop Doggy Dogg as his less-than-intimidating creation. We're talkin' box office gold, baby!
(c) rap jokes by straxboy	May 29th, 2001 04:36:52 AM
This ceased to be funny about 7 scrolls down the screen ago....somewhere near the beginning of the tb actually. Or was it in fact the beginning.

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Elston Gunn's WEEKLY RECAP

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