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A Brit snatches a peek at SNATCH

Lookin' forward by Pr_Frink	Sep 20th, 2000 10:33:21 PM
I want to see this movie. Ever since Lock, Stock I've been looking forward to seeing Mr. Ritchie's next film. The only thing is, I'm afraid that in his next movie Madonna will be in it. Please God NO!!!!!!!!!
Second!! by Jarek	Sep 20th, 2000 10:39:29 PM
Woo hoo and stuff. Okay, so I loved Lock, Stock, and deeply enjoyed Ritchie's hyperkinetic direction style. Now that I hear this film also includes Benecio Del Toro (great in Way of the Gun) and even Brad Pitt (with Se7en and Fight Club, coming into his own), I am definitely looking forward to it. Vinnie also kicks ass!! So good looking.
Second! by 6 of 24	Sep 20th, 2000 10:39:55 PM
Gawd, I have no life. What a surprise.
"AwghllRIghhht hhRicky mhy Suhnnn..." by Monty Python	Sep 20th, 2000 11:17:26 PM
A guide to Mike Reid impersonation: To properly annunciate the phrase in the subject header of this post, you will need to consume: Draino--one gallon of. Filterless cigarettes-- 1400 cartons of. Assorted, shredded drill bits (with worcestershire sauce), 18lb's of. Top this off with demonic possesion by Beelzebub himself and all the intense vocalisations that suggests and then maybe, just...maybe, your voice will be in proper order for a decent Mike Reid impersonation...
Will this movie have a spinosaurus in it? There really is a din by One Angry Dwarf	Sep 20th, 2000 11:24:19 PM
Thank you very much to all those concerned citizens who wrote in to tell me the exact same thing again and again and again. As if the reality of spiny-saurus will prevent JP3 from being a festival of suck. Oh, I would have posted this in the JP3 section, but the post order is all fucked up there.
People keep comparing Coyote Ugly to Flashdance or Cocktail, but by Hero For Hire	Sep 20th, 2000 11:29:52 PM
FAME. That's right, FAME. Think about it. Piper Perabo's character solves all her problems through singing and dancing, with the help of her cute friends and carefully placed music. Also, Cocktail and Flashdance at least made the attempt to concentrate on a single charatcer, but Coyoyte Ugly tried to give us everyone's story at once. All of this being said, I must admit that yes, I saw all four of the movies mentioned in this post, but I only sat through them to get laid, and I didn't pay for any of them.
This was a sweet movie. Some crazy camera moves... by Wesley Snipes	Sep 21st, 2000 12:25:35 AM
Snatch was funny as hell and sported some sweet camera moves. There's this mini-Matrix-pan and super zoom to a gun that was unexpected and very cool. Great cast of faces with good performances all around. The only negative was that practically every character speaks with the same huge monologues. But that's okay and the cast makes it seem natural. Recommended.
fame, FAME...I wanna live forever, I wanna learn how to fly (J by Monty Python	Sep 21st, 2000 01:08:13 AM
This is Leroy, he's from a rough neighbourhood, but by the end of this episode he will be tap-dancing his way past those "gang members" who've been puttin pressure on him to forget Gershwin and "Dance" to the rythm of the "A.K". Yes my friends, Leroy will be chasin "Tonys" and not "Dragons" when he's done walkin these hallways. O.K, and : Jazz-Hands! now, EVERYBODY! "...One singular sensation, Every little step he takes..."
Brad Pitt steals the show by One Punch Mickey	Sep 21st, 2000 01:36:18 AM
I caught this flick (at a sneak preview) the day after the Edinburgh Film Festival ended. It's pretty much the same story as Lock, Stock... but Guy does some great stuff with the camera. As well as a really interesting way to introduce all the charaters in under two minutes. Brad Pitt really shines in this cast of mostly British actors and finally nails an Irish accent (we all remember The Devil's Own). So I greatly suggest that all go see this relly fun and funny film.
I loved this flick. by veers	Sep 21st, 2000 02:14:55 AM
Ritchie's little camera tricks seem to fit into his storytelling perfectly in this one. My fav bits are, 1. when anybody mentions gambling and Freddy 4-fingers we get this mad montage of Benicio at a casino with Viva Las Vegas playing over the images. Its blink or you'll miss it stuff, but it is so funny. 2. I love the way Dennis Farina travels between the UK and the US. Fackin' funny you slag CAHNT!
I don't care if his name's Mohammed I'm Fuckin' Hard Bruce Lee by The Guvnor	Sep 21st, 2000 02:58:57 AM
Lock Stock 2, maybe. All I know is that it was a fuckin' great film. And don't tell me I'm wrong 'cos I am one 'orrible cahnt!
Father Geek just made me puke by Lazarus Long	Sep 21st, 2000 03:47:41 AM
Is it just me, or is the image of Father Geek typing "sweet-smelling SNATCH" into his computer the most disgusting thing this website has ever conjured up? Please tell me I'm not alone. I have to see a therapist.
Snatch is fuggin' bird-shite mate, by I'mAlanPartridge	Sep 21st, 2000 04:02:35 AM
as Udai would say. Who's Udai? you ask. You don't know him. This review is totally whacked, I'm sorry. I can't believe this reviewer has the courage to say this movie was WITTY! My thirteen year old sister has more wit than this lump of callous, unsubtle, rip-off. I dunno if the reviewer thinks characters saying 'cahnt!'is an original joke or not - but it isn't. It's been around since Middle school; maybe he's still there though. It was so...empty. The plot twisted and turned a little, like Al McP driving round Bournemouth like an idiot but it was rather predictable at points. Oh! What a humourous suprise that I saw coming from 15 minutes away....SPOILER!!! The dog ate the diamond! ahahhaahhh...hmmmmm. Shouting loudly and swearing lots is not witty, it's not big and it's not hard. Brad was funny, because he can get that cocky, yet wry, feeling across really well. The others were...well, I'm sorry but I'd hardly call them good chracters: They were just either mean, stupid or lucky or any combination. The biggest mistake was to not even really bother to change the tone, the style, the setting, the actors...the only thing they shouldn't have changed from Lock, Stock was the script. AHH!! I can't believe how much the dialogue SUCKED!! If I'd heard, 'I fucking hate Pikeys' I would have screamed. (Yeah...it's SO witty.) This film is a generic empty ripoff of a decent first film. Try a bit harder next time and also don't set it in London with Vinnie Jones or Jason Stratham. So he'll probably set it in Watford, with Vinnie Jones or Jason Stratham. AH...the dialogue sucked so much...can't contain the lack of any redeeming flair..... AH_HA!!!!!!
To Alan Partridge (knowing me, ah-ha!) by Goshinkwai	Sep 21st, 2000 04:09:15 AM
Reading your diatribe makes me feel better about this review, as it is obvious from your crass style that you know nothing of wit - thereby, you have no yardstick to judge against. If that is your attempt at wit, then it is obvious that moronic, imbecyllic gobshites like you won't get the point of the film. Never mind, you can always go and watch Pokemon - The Movie
Hey Monty by ol' painless	Sep 21st, 2000 04:37:33 AM
I tried your helpful tips for Sounding Like Mike Reid(tm), but ended up sounding like Dot off Eastenders instead. Where did I go wrong? Please help!
Some people agree with you (Goshinkwai), I don't. by I'mAlanPartridge	Sep 21st, 2000 05:22:59 AM
Fair enough. But I wasn't trying to actually show off my own wit or make any comment, aside from the fact that I do consider myself to be quite witty. No, the reason I adopted such a 'crass style' (and normally posts here are such eloquent expositions) was because thinking about this movie actually makes me angry because I was so bitterly disappointed by it. There were some incredibly witty visual gags (as veers states, the gambling, travel to New York/London etc.) However my comments were actually aimed at the dialogue itself, which I still maintain is a load of rubbish. I hope you find this more sophisticated tone a little less abrasive and perhaps make a little allowance for another point of view, even if it is delivered rudely and arrogantly. Oh no, that was you, wasn't it?
"The gun's loaded" by J.Utah	Sep 21st, 2000 05:28:25 AM
There is so much energy, imagination, wit and control at every level in Snatch it intimidates me. I don
OK - I didn't hate it.... by I'mAlanPartridge	Sep 21st, 2000 05:35:44 AM
and as everyone has stated scenes they liked I've remembered them and how I like them. The detail of those Asian women peering in...brilliant! But something about the movie just provoked me into a very negative frame of mind. I think it was the dialogue and some of the delivery. I just hate it. The only thing I felt was 'out of place' though still really powerful, was the caravan fire. Eeesh...it got me there. In response to what other britmovies are there...well, I saw Billy Elliot last night and it was great. Competent and touching and a great film to be labelled British. But even if there were no others, would that make Snatch good JUST cos there was no other Brit movies? I think it's sad that someone who describes a movie as average then says it's a BRILLIANT brit movie.
Touchee Monsieur Partridge (I can't get the accent above the "e" by Goshinkwai	Sep 21st, 2000 05:37:57 AM
Your suppositions stand me corrected. At first I ranked you as merely a sycophant, taking pleasure in the sound of his own scribes, I am mistaken, for that I am sorry. You are actually a groundless sycophant riding the derisory train, stating that the dialogue is inept, yet giving us no examples. Whereas I found the dialogue engaging - to whit - Bullet Tooth Tony's cool lambasting of the three guys attempting to rob him in the pub - PRICELESS. Continue, sir, please do, as I have not suffered a burst appendage through laughter for a long while. GOSHINKWAI
Who......who....who......who do you think you are? by I'mAlanPartridge	Sep 21st, 2000 05:55:20 AM
Evidently someone who doesn't share my sense of humour - I found that entire speech rather awkward and embarrassing personally. I said I found the repetition of the 'fucking Pikies' line annoying - that too was for comedy and while a laughed after the second or third time it got tiresome. I honestly can remember no dialogue save for impressions at the time of how desperately annoyed I was that it was poor. Sorry, I left my dictaphone and secretary at home that time! No quotes for me. Someone made a comment about the characters being cartoons that were made believeable - I couldn't believe them. The gangster boss with the glasses that made him look even uglier than he is (that was a great touch) when he was being 'hard guy' to Turkish and Tommy - I just sat there and thought it was a bit stupid. OK - I missed the joke. Some ppl didn't enjoy Fight Club cos they didn't feel they could suspend their disbelief for the ending. I love Fight Club. But I don't love Snatch. Maybe I was in a bad mood, maybe I was disappointed with a rehash of Lock, Stock, maybe I wanted an Oscar winning piece of cinema. Or maybe you just have a rather unsophisticated sense of humour that finds a fat man struggling to get out of a car funny. Yeah, I'll go with that one; it makes me look better. Assuming it's right of course.
I AM SPARTACUS!! by Goshinkwai	Sep 21st, 2000 06:10:27 AM
Damn funny that fat guy trying to get out of a car - DAMN FUNNY!!!! This is not just for the poor misguided Partridge, but for all, DON'T COMPARE THIS FILM TO FIGHT CLUB - the only similarities are Brad Pitt and a bit of boxing. If you want to compare Fight Club to any film, compare it to American Psycho, why???......Aww, just figure it out. GOSHINKWAI
Oh, great! by J.Utah	Sep 21st, 2000 06:15:53 AM
Haven
Hmmmmmmmmm...confused and a little bored now. by I'mAlanPartridge	Sep 21st, 2000 06:27:11 AM
Maybe if you read a little slower you would see I was only comparing it to Fight Club as a personal example of a film I liked that others didn't. There is no similarity in content save the one you mention. I guess on reflection Billy Elliot, without resorting to meaningless praise, was more like a good movie - touching and well acted and pretty well written. Nothing that changed the way I look at cinema, but with a well spent 2 hours. I enjoyed it, but...well, I won't buy the video or DVD. I wouldn't call it average - cos on average most films aren't good. It's above average - but not by a huge margin. I guess I'll have to go and find some people who will agree with me. Oh - this'll do: They've got names like Bullet Tooth, Turkish and Doug the Head - each actor getting one joke instead of a character. One of them's got the stone, then someone else has got it, then someone else has got it but doesn't know it. Then they're all driving along the same stretch of road and make each other crash without realising. Then (sound of a barrel being scraped) a dog swallows it, for fack's sake. With everyone talking like Paul Whitehouse's nosy neighbour, the whole thing seems slightly five minutes ago, something thrown together by a man who doesn't care enough about his work to realise he's out of touch. At one point, accompanying shots of the beloved East End, Ghost Town by The Specials starts up. You can almost hear Ritchie, out house-hunting, settling for this down a mobile phone line - and giggling at the self-ironic hilarity of also including Vinnie Jones, whilst torturing a grass, playing Madge's Lucky Star and saying, "I love this track." Maybe next time he'll shock us all with something different - a PG Wodehouse adaptation perhaps, or to really push the envelope, a film with a female character in. But I doubt it. The only mild inspiration here comes in the form of a community of Irish gypsies, led by the superb Brad Pitt, who lords it up splendidly as the unintelligible, unstoppable prize-fighter Mickey. The all-too-realistic casual racism ("Pikeys!") of the other characters aside, Pitt grabs the best laughs and is the only man who comes near to cracking the dumb male fa
Sad because it's true.... by I'mAlanPartridge	Sep 21st, 2000 06:37:48 AM
and that it had to be said. But you're right...
Irish Pikies by sleepy	Sep 21st, 2000 07:01:46 AM
im irish and i have to say brad pitt got his Knacker(pikie/gypsy/traveller) accent down to the bone....
Listen up you bunch of slags (esp ImAlanPartridge, you sound lik by voight-kampff	Sep 21st, 2000 07:08:12 AM
Anyone of you plonkers try and rip into Guy's film again, I'll get medieval on your arse. (this next bit is for Im-amiddleclasscunt-AlanPartri dge) You CAHNTS.
MiddleClassCahnt by I'mAlanPartridge	Sep 21st, 2000 07:15:32 AM
So?
Citizen Kane could by J.Utah	Sep 21st, 2000 07:33:42 AM
C
J. Utah! Stop using exclamation marks! by voight-kampff	Sep 21st, 2000 07:45:51 AM
They're bloody annoying! And ImAlanPartridge, in the words of Marx, "I'd rather be a disease ridden whore's cuntrag than a middle class twat." (Paul Marx my mate btw)
ThePeople's Chump. by voight-kampff	Sep 21st, 2000 08:20:55 AM
I've lost the will to live reading your fackin tirade. Ignorance is bliss? No. You fackin off, now that's bliss.
Another outspoken critic by Chinatowner	Sep 21st, 2000 08:26:01 AM
I'd just like to say that whilst I respect the views of many who - like a lot of my friends - enjoyed Snatch, and accept that there were some good performances, lines and moments of camera trickery, it can also be pointed out that i) these things also can be found in an adbreak without paying
Chinatowner... by voight-kampff	Sep 21st, 2000 08:53:28 AM
Opinions are like kneecaps my son. Everybody has got them, but some times they need to be forceably removed. Got it?
'scuse me chief by Drexl Spivey	Sep 21st, 2000 09:23:47 AM
Man have you got a mountain size chip on your shoulder or what? I seen you sticking up for elcosmico, so what's your bag, you just like arguing don't ya.
Question by Knight says"Ni"	Sep 21st, 2000 10:56:18 AM
So does everyone in this movie except Brad Pitt have bad teeth?
sad bastards...... by mrsnow	Sep 21st, 2000 11:17:47 AM
.......this must be the shittiest talkback I have ever read, i'm not up on myself, but get a fackhing life! now i will sit back and wait for (and i dont mean you all are) you sad wankers to be abusive to me. Respect me.....mrsnow
hopefully a final word by straxboy	Sep 21st, 2000 11:34:06 AM
Guy Ritchie: redeemed. Two camps for Lock Stock...Loved Loved Loved it [loads of people], Hated Hated Hated it [some people - including me]. Now we have Snatch and I think it is safe to say that both the earlier camps can be satisfied. Those that loved Lock Stock...can rest easy that the cocky arrogance of the first film has been harnessed and though the film has not lost any energy - if not as breathless and heady then certainly as accomplished as it's cpcksure predecessor. And those that HATED the first film can rest easy that this has lost the mocking Laddish swagger of Lock Stock...and Ritchie has proved to those who doubted him [me included - and I humbly reverse my opinion !!!!!] that he is capable of wowing even jaded cinephiles with new tricks. Remember his budget on this was fairly paltry. We hav here a film about men, not boys. A metaphor undoubtedly for Ritchie' maturing as a film maker and the reason this film is such a pleasure to watch even if you've been dreading the 2 hours it's going to take from your life. I'd give it up gladly again - and will. Now if only this boy could get a real script writer - say a Jimmy Mcgovern or a Tony Marchant to write for him he would surely be world class. As it atnds I think it's fair to place him in the lower half of british writers but most definitly top of any futre directors in Britain list - young or old. Snatch is a marvel - no doubt. And this from a former nay sayer. Guy, you have my respect -whether you want it or not.
OL' Painless by Monty Python	Sep 21st, 2000 02:46:41 PM
The cigarettes must be Marlboro. This is why all eight Marlboro cowboys have died of cancer/emphazema/heartdisease. You just ca(H)n't get the same Toxic, flemmy build-up from a pack of joe's. Yeah, a marlboro-rotted larynx is a rotted larynx with character. (and only the Devil of an expensive movie will do. If you use a satan from something like "Excorsist II: The heretic", you're obviously gonna end up sounding like dear old Dot)
ugggh by mrfurly	Sep 22nd, 2000 12:19:08 AM
alrighty folks-here goes my preachin'---stop watching bad british tarantino knockoffs and watch something that expands your ol' mind a bit...i say rent the mirror and nostolghia by tarkovsky, smoke some grass before you do, and get back to me.
Calhoun & The people's champ by voight-kampff	Sep 22nd, 2000 01:55:16 AM
Listen boys, I can't belive you took me seriously. I was just getting into the spirit of the TALKBACK. And as for the 'kneecaps' line, I'm sure I didn't get it from a cockney but from a Pratchett. Oh and I am also the furthest from a cockney imaginable, we're mad for it up north.
Saw it last night by BONZO	Sep 22nd, 2000 07:10:01 AM
I actually quite liked it, a couple of hours of engaging entertainment, bit lazy of him to use jason statham again in pretty much the same role at heast he could of stretched the envelope a bit like the reinvented irish tinker jason fleming. Brad's accent was excellent ie it did what i was designed to do be unintelligble still wouldn't trust him a dramatic role with it after the fiasco that was the devil's own. Aprevious reviewer was right about ze germans thing jarring a bit, its going to be a little bit too uk poculture for our american cousins. Thought vincent jones did well , a bit more meat on the role thanlast time and a nice nod to the previous film with his opening scene. The location for the first unlicensed boxing bout is Ceasars in Streatham which if you are enough of a fan boy you may wish to visit.
Snatch was so so... by Palmer Eldritch	Sep 22nd, 2000 11:15:57 AM
Not really Lock Stock 2, more like a Lock, Stock remake, you know, as in every thirty years Hollywood remakes it's old movies (eg. nutty professor) and just updates them a bit, well Ritchie obviously had the same idea, only it seems he couldn't get the rights to remake someone elses movie, so he remade one of his own (and thre's only one!), but obviously felt the original was so good that he'd rather not change that much, just shift things a little bit. I'm sure there are actually shots recycled from leftovers from the last movie (Vinnie slamming someones head in a car door for one) Anyway Lock Stock was just a remake of his own earlier short film, so it seems GR is the British Tarantino, and he too is rapidly running out of Old Rope! There were some nice touches in Snatch, (Alan Ford's myopic gangster looking and talking more like a market stall holder, a really neat trick with a carton of milk where events are edited in reverse order) but really the whole movie really drags until Brad Pitt appears and slumps when he leaves the screen: he totally makes this film, and (spoiler) I liked the way that the film never over sentimentalised the two central characters relationship with pitts character. He takes them for a ride and when he's got what he want's he's straight out of there without so much as a good bye Had this been a Hollywood production, no doubt there would have been an excrable little moment of bonding a la that awful scene between Delroy Lindo and Nick Cage. (spoiler ends) The only other good bits where those with the incompetent black gangsters, but then it seems that (Pitt apart) they were the only decent actors and the only characters who you really believed were in shit. It also helps that their scenes have all the best gags (the dog and the toy, the fat getaway driver, the bungled robbery with the CCTV and Vinnie Jones' only good line of dialogue - good because it is a line and not a two page monologue). I cannot believe the credit Jason Stratham is getting for his walkthrough in this movie. He speaks like Harry writes! "Quick, Tommy.. before.. zee germans.. get.. here" he has the worst line deliver since Shatner and always leaves these little pauses between the other actors' lines and his responses. He has a little scene where he explains to his mate Tommy why he isn't panicking (i.e. they're fucked, so there's no point in worrying about it) and I suspect Ritchie had tried to get various shades of performance out of stratham throughout the shoot but they all cam out the same, so he wrote and shot this little insert scene to explain the monotone nature of Turkish's manner. Obviously his awful dialogue didn't help. "Who took the jam out of your donut then?" - "You did... Tommy.. you took.. the jam.. out of.. my do nut" Anyway pitt and these guys get away lightly because since Ritchie obviously knows nothing about gyspies or British blacks he just writes reasonably functional dialogue and let the actors do what they wanted with it (he obv

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A Brit snatches a peek at SNATCH

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