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What looks at Woody Allen's SMALL TIME CROOKS

I love Woody! by Larry_Talbot	May 3rd, 2000 05:10:01 AM
This is Toy Story 3, right?
insert your own `woody' pun here.......... by Jon L. Ander	May 3rd, 2000 05:53:32 AM
its been all downhill since mighty aphrodite....
Woody Rules by Smilin'Jack Ruby	May 3rd, 2000 06:16:46 AM
I actually like seeing the new Woody film every year. He's the best screenwriter alive today and no one can add dimension to even the smallest characters like Allen. With that - let the flames begin.
Everyone Says I Love You by Hotspur	May 3rd, 2000 06:59:26 AM
To me that is his best ever. I saw it very early and was amazed when it came out and nobody saw it. It's a movie that just does something. It makes you happy. In my book it's one of the most underrated movies of 96' and one of Woody's most underrated films. I mean he was nominated for an academy award for Deconstructing Harry but not for Everyone... That doesn't make sense. What was that Harry all about anyway? It was weird. Everyone Says I Love You is brilliant. I can't say that enough. And I do believe that the only actor who wasn't singing was Drew Barrymore. Maybe her voice is terrible. I don't know. But she has so many other talents....
"Bring Me Your Tired, Your Poor, Your Underage Asian Girls"..... by RightWing Dude	May 3rd, 2000 07:21:10 AM
Or how about "Hickory Dickory Dock, Come Suck Daddy's Cock?" Why anybody would want to go see a movie made by that SICKASS is beyond me!!! Quote from Mia Farrow: "Woody, I told you to babysit the children, not fuck them!"
I really don't care what he does in his spare time by The Tasty Leper	May 3rd, 2000 07:42:14 AM
Personally, I could really care less about the personal life of actors. They don't concern me in the least. If I found out that Harrison Ford was pedophile it wouldn't make me toss out my Star Wars and Indiana Jones Trilogies. I'm sure there are a great number of actors and directors that I would dislike greatly if I met them in person. (btw, I LOVE Everone Says I Love You.)
Seen this before? by Cloud9	May 3rd, 2000 07:54:57 AM
The plot to Woody's new movie sounds like an old episode of "Car 54, Where Are You?" only the crooks set up a diner instead of a cookie store.
Say what you will... by Loki Trickster	May 3rd, 2000 08:26:13 AM
But "Deconstructing Harry" is the best Woody Allen movie of all time (followed closely by "Annie Hall" and "Sleeper"), and it was robbed of the Best Original Screenplay Oscar (but of course, so were a bunch of other scripts recently, so I don't complain about it too much). -Loki
it's spelled "brief", not "brief" by Lance Rock	May 3rd, 2000 08:55:22 AM
i before e!
C. BUTLER by happydude	May 3rd, 2000 09:02:16 AM
An inability to separate life from art is the hallmark of an unregenerate mind.
Celebrity is fantastic by mooch	May 3rd, 2000 09:06:03 AM
I'd just like to stick up for Celebrity, I think it's an absolutely brilliant film. It isn't really all that funny, but it is beautiful, moving, thought-provoking and it works fantastically. I'd also like to stick up for Kenneth Branagh's performance which I thought was very good. Yes, it was largely a Woody Allen imitation, but no it wasn't irritating. I especially love the bit in Elaine's at the end, where he is completely deflated and the agent is trying to get him interested in his new stand-up act, and Branagh does a really half-hearted version of the whole nervous-stammering act and no-one notices any difference. It was a superb fucking movie AND WHY IS IT NOT OUT ON VIDEO IN BRITAIN YET???!!! IT CAME OUT A FUCKING YEAR AGO!!! Celebrity isn't out on video, Sweet And Lowdown hasn't come out at the cinema here and already he's made another one! Quick guys, there's a fucking backlog. I thought Europe was meant to be Woody's saviour.
Drew Barrymore's singing voice by marsyas	May 3rd, 2000 09:56:57 AM
It was dubbed for good reason... I heard her trying to sing on Saturday Night Live a while back, and it was painful.
Isn't he dead? by iamdeadfish	May 3rd, 2000 10:16:11 AM
Ick... old people humor!
How do Woody Allen Films Make Money? by agentcooper	May 3rd, 2000 10:17:29 AM
...Seriously. I mean, nothing against him. I have enjoyed quite a few of his films (Annie Hall, Purple Rose of Cairo, Sleeper, Mighty Aprodite)and thought quite a few a complete waste of time (Everyone Says I Love You, Stardust Memories, Broadway Danny Rose). But they all must cost between $3-5 million at least, then get a very limited release where they gross about $2 million. He pumps out one each year, so he's the Stephen King of cinema, but doesn't move the product like King. Why do studios insist on financing these things? Do they do incredibly well in the foreign markets? Any of you Wood-fans know?
How do Woody Allen movies make money? by agentcooper	May 3rd, 2000 10:18:30 AM
...Seriously. I mean, nothing against him. I have enjoyed quite a few of his films (Annie Hall, Purple Rose of Cairo, Sleeper, Mighty Aprodite)and thought quite a few a complete waste of time (Everyone Says I Love You, Stardust Memories, Broadway Danny Rose). But they all must cost between $3-5 million at least, then get a very limited release where they gross about $2 million. He pumps out one each year, so he's the Stephen King of cinema, but doesn't move the product like King. Why do studios insist on financing these things? Do they do incredibly well in the foreign markets? Any of you Wood-fans know?
"Me love you long time, Wood-yee!" by Uncapie	May 3rd, 2000 10:19:16 AM
I'll stick with his old stuff. Still, he plays a mean clarinet.
life IS art. I think? by Moby134	May 3rd, 2000 10:40:51 AM
Oh no, I must be very unregenerated....:(
setting the record straight by Lazarus Long	May 3rd, 2000 11:16:31 AM
Let's get a few things clear here: Soon-Yi was never underage while Woody was with her. (Unless 19 is your idea of underage; it isn't in any state in this country). Secondly, Soon-Yi wasn't his kid, but Mia Farrow's adopted daughter. It may be an odd situation and a shitty thing to do, but love is love. They obviously had a connection. Or haven't you noticed that they are STILL together some 7 years later? After Farrow's humiliation, she has the gall to accuse Woody of molesting their own children. 3 psychologists analyzed those kids and NONE of them found any evidence of sexual abuse. Of course, no one bothered to print that on the front page of the newspaper, only the accusations. Sad country. *** In France, Roman Polanski is regarded as an esteemed member of society. Not to excuse what he did (and the severity of those actions are still open to debate), but Woody didn't do anything even REMOTELY illegal and he's still thought of as a sicko by many people in this country. Jerry Seinfeld is more of a sicko in that department; his ex-girlfriend was younger than Soon-Yi when they started seeing each other. Regardless, if you can't enjoy art unless you agree with every action in that artist's personal life, you're a fucking idiot.
yes, Woody's films make all their money in Europe. by Fatal Discharge	May 3rd, 2000 11:38:32 AM
and by the way, they cost about $20 million not $3. No one can make a Hollywood feature for $3 million. I love his screenplays and agree that even in his films that don't totally work, there are hilarious lines. Also, all the best actors work with Woody so there is always something to gain from seeing his films.
I saw the same screening, pal!! by Fordo	May 3rd, 2000 11:38:33 AM
Yeah, I was at the NYU sponsered event (which was supposed to be for NYU students, by the way, how the hell did you get in?). Well, if your criticism is that Woody Allen didn't do a good job in the role, I'd have to say that that is your personal taste. For example, I thought Allen was just like my Grandpa and couldn't get enough of his great performance. Also, you say the movie is "empty". I think that it is a small story with interesting characters that goes somewhere in an entertaining way. Why does every movie have to be some unbelievable mind-bender? -Fordo
STC will be screening here at Berkeley on Friday... by LeonardTheLizard	May 3rd, 2000 11:48:49 AM
I can't wait to see it! The SWEET AND LOWDOWN definitely was Woody's best work in years, although I have to give the honor of BEST WOODY ALLEN FILM OF ALL TIME to HANNAH AND HER SISTERS. Or maybe it's ANNIE HALL...Or MANHATTAN...oh well...those three movies are his best work. I look forward to seeing Woody this week (if he shows up), and I'll try to post my own reviews.
Everyone Says I Love You by Smilin'Jack Ruby	May 3rd, 2000 11:54:49 AM
I feel I should come out of the closet on this one - I love that movie. I love every single thing about it. I love how it presents the world as this place where only rich people live, everyone gets laid, everyone is happy, only old people die, and EVERYONE lives happily ever after. Also, everyone sings and dances whenever they feel like it. Yes, 'tis an odd Fantasia, but I saw that movie twice in one weekend (took one girl on Friday and a different girl on Sunday) and quietly consider it one of the best things Allen ever did, though NO ONE will agree with me. Oh, well. Guess I felt like I should stick up for him. If you think Allen's one movie a year is a big deal, think about Bergman back in the day when he did three a year and John Ford who cranked out about 20 two-reelers a year from 1919 to 1921. I'm glad Allen is at Dreamworks where he can make movies however the hell he wants to. I will be, as usual, first in line for "Small Time Crooks." Haven't missed opening weekend for an Allen movie since I saw "Manhattan Murder Mystery" on opening day back in Houston a few years back.
Small Time Guzman by Vegas	May 3rd, 2000 12:03:50 PM
I'll see Small Time Crooks, if only on video. Woody's movies are not for everyone and are often not for me, but the man is an artist and it's great that even in this modern box office gross obsessed age that an idiosyncratic virtuoso like the woodman can still do what he wants as often as he wants. Can't argue with that, people.
Woody has the most consistent body of work of any director alive by Kefrif	May 3rd, 2000 12:23:30 PM
It's true. The man has been making films for 35 years now, and with the exception of the very early stuff, nearly none of them have been awful - a few were a bit pants, agreed, but they were definitely no worse than some of the crap of the time. If you want a handle on watching Woody films, think of them in terms of a learning curve from "Take the Money and Run" onwards - "Annie Hall" was the peak of the straight "Woody" comedies after 10 years of making them, "Hannah and Her Sisters" was the peak of the multi-character, multi-plot films, and ever since then, he's been trying to find a happy medium between the two, succesfully experimenting on the whole with the form as much/more than the content. That said, Woody should continue working for years as IMHO learning never stop, and people still enjoy his work. Kefrif
It's sad but I believe you. by Aguadilu	May 3rd, 2000 12:48:38 PM
I don't know what's going on with Woody lately. Unfortunately, for what I've seen in his last picks, I understand what you say about 'Small Time...', and I'm afraid it'll be true. 'Sweet and Lowdown', premiered recently here, in Spain was a totla dissapointment, maybe his worst film of the 90's. Now you reer to this as 'empty', buffff, shit, Woody should take a couple of years rest to make am equal to his last veritable masterpiece, 'Husbands and Wives'.
Lowering the tone of this talkback by mephisto666	May 3rd, 2000 01:59:01 PM
His best film in my opinion has to be 'Everything you Wanted To Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask)'. It has it's faults, but its still the funniest. Who can forget classics like 'Picolo? Like french bread...Picolo!' Gene Wilder drinking Woolite, the control room with low moral (was it NYU the lady in question went to?), and, of course, the wonderfully ingenious way of defeating the killer breast ravaging the countryside. You can get intellectual if you like; you can even question how he likes to 'keep it in the family', but me, I got to go with maurauding bosoms!
while we are talking about sex... by Loadie_34	May 3rd, 2000 02:07:54 PM
Does Woody have sex with any of his kids in this one? I was just wondering...
Wood is thicker than water by Heir	May 3rd, 2000 02:17:26 PM
I'm afraid Woody's last few films have been awful. they certainly weren't funny- Sweet and Lowdown was okay, but it was a drama! Not one laugh in it- Celebrity was the worst- I saw it three times just to make sure- the third time I even got stoned hoping that would make me see something I missed before- and nothing. The reason woody's films are financed? One reason- do you know any video store that DOESN'T carry all of his films? I can't think of one. Ever since Mia left, his films have been pretty bad- exept Murder Mystery which he wrote while they were still together- "Bullets"- which he co-wrote- and Deconstructing Harry- which if you know anything about his personal life- the entire film was about Mia- sly digs all the way through-and if you think he's so great personally- read the court's verdict on Allen when he tried to take away Mia's kids-it's not pretty. I just wish he would make a good movie again- a really good movie- I always go to the theatre to see his films but if "Crooks" is bad- I'll wait for the rest to hit my video store. that, at least, is a certainty.
Everyone Says I Love You by Buckinator X	May 3rd, 2000 02:22:44 PM
By far the best film Woody ever made! I'm so glad I found other people who agree with me. And for those people bitching about this film or that film, blah, blah, blah...the man makes a film a year. Some will be great, some will be good, some will be not so good. I have found something enjoyable about nearly every film he has made. Woody was right when he called out directors like James Cameron and others who sit around for years without making anything. I know that Pre-production and production and post-production for something like Titanic takes about two years, but Cameron has been sitting on his ass polishing his Oscars, and he has nothing to show for it. No new movie on the horizon. I think he is scared to make anything else. At least with Woody, I get a fix once a year. And Spike Lee. Spike turns out a movie almost every year. One last thing...are you sure this film is under his Dreamworks contract? Didn't he just sign that deal a month ago. I think this is his last movie with his old producing partner, then he'll start making movies for Dreamworks. I think that is right. I bet his first film for Dreamworks will be marketed a hell of a lot better than his other films have been. Alright, I'm done.
Woody-what's in a name? by guyuuk!	May 3rd, 2000 04:23:26 PM
I don't care about his personal life vs. his movies, I'm still wiping the tears of laughter from my eyes after reading Jerky Mcjerk's first post. Your moniker suits you(and that's meant as a compliment you turd-handler).
Saint right. by Shrevie	May 3rd, 2000 04:46:08 PM
I can't watch anyone's work unless I respect them morally. I mean we all know Chaplin was a saint. And Hemingway was a saint. And Andy Kaufman was a saint. And Disney was a saint. And Kubrick was a saint. And Salinger was a saint. And Griffith was a saint. And Shakespeare at least knew how to handle the press. I think we should all make sure we use the reliability of the media to determine more celebrities' moral fibre before we subject our perfect characters to more of their damaging and insulting work. The only reason I enjoyed the hilarious and moving Sweet And Lowdown is because of the wonderful Sean Penn. Not only is he a great actor...but he's such a nice guy! p.s. Jimmy Stewart knocked up Ginger Rogers.
OH F@#K not another Woody Film by Seagull	May 3rd, 2000 07:51:19 PM
Please god for the sake of all things holy, take him now you must have a place for him up there by now ?
Call me crazy but I think HUSBAND AND WIVES is The best by lostoptimist	May 3rd, 2000 09:27:51 PM
There is not a joy quite like seeing Judy Davis in a Woody Allen movie. Oh, yeah, as for balls out Allen comedy, I'd have to say, for my money, it's a toss up between SLEEPER and BANANAS.
Jerky McJerk, you're one funny f**ker by Cereal Killer	May 4th, 2000 04:45:34 AM
"Close Encounters With the Third Grade" nearly made me piss myself. Never really been that into Woody Allen but I'm glad to read on here that I'm not alone in loving "Everyone Says I Love You." I rented that movie a few months ago mainly because it had Julia Roberts and Natalie Portman and I was surprised by how cool it was. It was filled with some of my fave old standard songs and was just funny and sweet. As for Woody's personal life I agree that he's a slime but I don't let any artists personal peccadilloes get in the way of my admiration for their art. I also gotta agree with the poster who said Jerry Seinfeld is just as slimy. Not only was Shoshanna too damn young for the perv but his current wife (Ho) was already married, and still a newlywed to boot, when Jerry hooked up with her. I thought the character he played on TV was just a character but it looks like Jerry is just as self-centered in real life. His show is still funny as hell though.
Any Of You Other Woody-Basher Get A Message From LEYE122@aol.co by RightWing Dude	May 4th, 2000 07:56:11 AM
This sick Woody-Fan wrote: " i hope the second day cum from woody's hard dick sits in your mouth for days as you lie in a ditch........see you in hell" in response to my earlier posting. I'm not saying that all Woody fans are weird (I believe that Woody is however), but this guy who wrote to me must be even weirder and creepier than Woody himself is.
Woody's funniest by rnotr2	May 4th, 2000 08:45:11 AM
All the comments here, all the Woody movies mentioned - but still not one word about his funniest movie, play, screenplay - Play It Again, Sam. Woody gives his defining performance as Allan, the total nebbishe around women. I laugh just as hard now as I did when I first saw it. Timeless.
D. Harry by Gravy Boat Capt.	May 4th, 2000 10:04:08 AM
Deconstructing Harry was a total piece of shit. I am a big Woody fan, but that movie was awful. It was obnoxious, immoral, and crass. I know, I know, so are a lot of his other movies. But this one's different. In other movies, while the protagonist certainly had flaws, you at least understood his motivations and could relate to him. In DH, Woody was just flaunting the fact that his character was such an asshole. That said, I think that Woody's movies over the last few years have been disappointing with one exeption: EVERYONE SAYS I LOVE YOU. It is one of my favorites. The movie contains what most of his have lacked the last few years: charm. Another of my favorites from the Woody file that no one has mentioned yet is LOVE AND DEATH. That movie was funny as hell. Any other fans of that one?
All You Fellow Woody-Bashers Need To Visit The Following Site: by RightWing Dude	May 4th, 2000 10:04:44 AM
www.romp.com In it, Woody Allen is a pinauta, and you can bash any part of him that you wish. Woody also says some pretty hysterical things.
pathetic by Lazarus Long	May 4th, 2000 12:07:09 PM
Jerky, your comments might be amusing, but what I've learned is that most of the people who bash Woody Allen and call him a child molester are those who never liked Woody in the first place, and now feel justified in spreading their hate for him around. As I PREVIOUSLY POSTED, 3 psychologists analyzed Woody & Mia's children (Satchel, Dylan, and...Rosemary's Baby), and NONE OF THEM FOUND ANY EVIDENCE OF SEXUAL ABUSE! The reason Farrow got the kids is because of the Soon-Yi mess, which might not have been immoral (depending on how much of a puritan you are), but it did break some rules of Common-Law marriage and not the nicest thing to do to the mother of your children. Again, Woody BROKE NO LAWS. If he had molested those kids, no Hollywood lawyer could have kept him from prison. Try focusing your attention on the real child molester, that freak of nature Michael Jackson, who paid off his accuser with tens of millions of dollars. As for Jerky and the rest of you who will ignore the facts and continue to bash the Woodman for your own amusement, grow up.
Mia was 21 when she married Sinatra at 51. by Fatal Discharge	May 4th, 2000 12:15:23 PM
So don't talk about robbing the cradle. As for all the puritans who feel the need to criticize everyone on up to the president for their sexual misadventures, maybe if your sex lives weren't so dull you wouldn't be picking over every sordid sexual detail of someone else's life.
Derek, proofread by Owatonna	May 4th, 2000 04:48:58 PM
Please. Oh, and it's spelt "segue". SEGUE!
Woody Rules by Cyclopentadiene	May 5th, 2000 03:51:07 AM
Well, I've seen every woody allen movie except for "September" and "What's up Pussycat", And I think that IMHO Woody has managed to make the following masterpieces of american cinema...MANHATTAN, ANNIE HALL, CRIMES AND MISDEMEANORS, HANNAH AND HER SISTER, HUSBANDS AND WIVES, ZELIG...I think these movies are all nearly perfect...ZELIG, which I don't think anyone has mentioned yet, is a technical marvel and great comedy...ZELIG did the Forest Gump-put-the-character-in-hist orical-footage-thing, except for ten times better and ten years earlier...and say what you will about Woody's personal life, in HUSBANDS AND WIVES he managed to make the most insightful film about the inner workings of a marriage ever put to film...and then almost all the rest of his films go into the category of being very, very good...some people have dissed DECONSTRUCTING HARRY, but it was a brilliantly constructed intricate screenplay...the one woody movie I just don't like is A MIDSUMMER's NIGHT SEX COMEDY, which I found to be pretentious and unfunny...And CELEBRITY was a lackluster effort for woody, but still better than most stuff out there...In summation, I would say that woody allen is one of the GREATEST DIRECTORS ever...
perverts by Kerstin	May 5th, 2000 10:17:10 AM
Hi, I am pleased to see that apparent perverts such as McJerk and C. Butler, who have nothing else to do but express their own sick imagination by grossly twisting facts and doing it in a white trash, redneck, pedophile lingo that revelas they themselves are nothing but that... filthy minded, overly opinionated trash. Thanks, Lazarus, for your apparent wish to set records straight, but believe me, once a sicko finds an outlet such as the Woody-Mia case to unleash their own filthy minds, they won't listen to a rational argument or go by the wise "in dubio pro reo". Apparently both the butler and the jerk spend every minute with Allen during the alleged molestations, otherwise they would not be trating as a fact what actually has not been proven after extended and open investigations, to which, by the way, Allen was open from the very beginning. Anyway, I would wish that the beforementioned people would stick to their own internet forum, the porn site of their choice, and leave sites like this for serious and more interesting discussions.
Small Time Crooks/Big time ripoff by cplate	May 5th, 2000 11:46:33 PM
Ripoff!!! A total ripoff of a great Edward G. Robinson movie, Larceny, Inc. Guys start luggage business next to bank to dig into safe. Their business becomes a success and help out other merchants with local gov't. Come on, Woody. Give the original writers credit. Maybe Time-Warner will sue.
Woody Will Be Around for a While by djskyler	May 6th, 2000 02:57:20 AM
I'm happy to see so many Woody defenders here. He's really produced an amazing body of work. I guess it makes sense to find so many fans here at a movie-geek site since Woody is the ultimate movie-geek himself. Many of his films either involve films or are homages to other films. I saw "Love and Death" a while back and was ROTFLMAO with his Groucho Marx imitation in that one. "Sleeper" was of course a twist on "Buck Rogers". "Play It Again, Sam" had him interacting with Bogart. "Purple Rose of Cairo" invloved a movie in a movie. "Shadows and Fog" was his film noir. I really liked that cool "movie-geeks Xmas party" in "Everyone Says I Love You". Anyone remember his parents from "Wild Man Blues"? They are in their friggin 90's!! When I saw that, I realized that there are many Woody movies to come, since he obviously inherited some long-life genes.
Woody's still around, thank god. by Frances	May 7th, 2000 06:07:39 PM
Read you review and liked it; haven't seen the movie yet but you're right--I'll see it anyway. Maybe he needs to read this review though. Getting older doesn't mean leaving the truth in yourself. His best films give us this and this is what makes Woody a genius. He's not stingy with the truth and connects with us because of this (and because he knows how to create great stories with great actors who always come through). My personal favorite--hmm, that's tough. Maybe Hannah & Her Sisters, maybe Manhattan, maybe Sleeper, I don't know. I love them all. P.S. There's a lot of wasted space talking about Woody's morality or lack of. How do these people know what goes on in other peoples lives & minds. It's weird that they have to come into this Woody Allen thing to air their own inner unrest.
woody's best by nocturnl	May 12th, 2000 02:44:24 AM
woody's best film is husbads and wives. i think it is still to new for some woody fans to consider because they have become so fond of his eariler stuff. deconstructing harry was great and very bold considering the opinion some have of him personally. i have also noticed that roger ebert has called 3 of woody's last 4 films te best he has done in a "long time".
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What looks at Woody Allen's SMALL TIME CROOKS

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