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Action Figures O' The Day, Episode 1: Jesus

first by Mioch Must DIE!	Apr 24th, 2000 04:40:10 PM
aint that cool news man!
It's "The Amazing Jesus!" by Sorcerer	Apr 24th, 2000 05:03:29 PM
"Now, for my next trick, I'll need a wooden cross and a couple of volunteers...." Seriously, I'm disappointed at the lack of Kung-Fu Grip. Haven't these people read Mark 12:45? "And Jesus grasped Peter by the hand and did not let go, for he was just that strong."
Jesus Figures... by Alex De Large	Apr 24th, 2000 05:30:03 PM
not to be a jerk, but i've had that site bookmarked for a whole lotta months...maybe i got it from fadetoblack.com, i think that's where it was from. but this is OLD news :)-Alex
A POLITICALLY CORRECT SON OF GOD? by sleep	Apr 24th, 2000 06:15:17 PM
As jesus was born a jew in the middle east, that would make him an asian. The reason they have done a white version and a African version, is to keep the peace on both sides. When in actual fact he was asian, as he was born in bethlehem, and was raised in Nazareth. I know why not have a Buddah figure in the likeness of a Russian, or a figure of Mohammed in the likeness of a White man. *STOP TRYING TO BE POLITICALY CORRECT AND PORTRAY IMPORTANT FIGURES IN HISTORY IN THEIR PROPER RACE!* POLITICALLY CORRECTNESS IS ANOTHER FORM OF PROPERGANDA LIES, TO HIDE US FROM THE TRUTH, IF IMPORTANT FIGURES LIKE JESUS AND MANY OTHER RELIGIOUS GODS ARE PORTRAYED NOT IN THEIR ORIGINAL RACE, BUT FOR THE PURPOSE TO KEEP BOTH SIDES HAPPY, YOU ARE NOT ONLY OFFENDING GOD FROM MANY DIVERSE RELIGIONS BUT ALSO THE PEOPLE WHO WORSHIP HIM!
LAME! by 60091	Apr 24th, 2000 06:20:30 PM
Hey these people are INSANE aren't they breaking one of the Ten Commandments? Something about not making any graven images and such? How do they know this is what Jesus looked like? This is why I have lost my faith.Christianity has gotten really silly to me. Jesus would be throwing a shit fit (pardon my french)right now at all the knuckleheads trying to make a buck in his name.
I always thought Jesus was Puerto Rican... by Vegas	Apr 24th, 2000 06:31:11 PM
...kind of like Nien Numb from Return of the Jedi!
Why is this here? by The Riot	Apr 24th, 2000 06:55:04 PM
Ok.. Just wondering - why exactly is this article in Coaxial News? Coaxial is supposed to cover "all types of television shows and films, video tapes, laser discs, DVDs..." Now which is this supposed to be?
Answer to Riot's question by Tom Lee	Apr 24th, 2000 07:21:43 PM
It's because AICN assumes we're all the pathetic sort of fanboy who collects dolls because they're vaguely related to one of his or her sci-fi fetishes; therefore, since these are also dolls, they're relevant (allegedly). I've never understood, and never will, the motivation to collect these things among some adults. I mean, if you want some sort of totemic figurine to fill that special little spot on your bookshelf, why not spend some money on a genuine piece of art instead of a mass produced hunk of plastic crap? To me it seems like one of the more pathetic manifestations of the dominance of pop culture materialism in our time. But hey, that's just me, and maybe I'm reading a bit too much into it. Oh, and to respond to the above poster who considers a politically correct version of any religious figure to be "properganda" -- you make an interesting point about allowing for more universal representations of religious figures to allow people to relate better to them... but at the same time, I think there's a strong argument to be made that that sort of relating-through-ethnic-simila rity is not necessarily healthy, although it may appear to be an aid to spiritual connection at first. I'm not a big fan of any sort of iconic religious objects, but if they have to exist, then perhaps historically accurate ones are the best way to discourage folks from self-aggrandizingly associating their race with divinity.
Are these a joke? by Horus	Apr 24th, 2000 08:34:07 PM
Has any one looked at the rest of the lineup ,of these things? David like an official*Chant of Jimmy Blacksmith" action figure!They should have gotten Mcfarlane to make these.Imagine how cool his Moses would look.
Can't wait for the "Power of the Lord Collection" by dehayd	Apr 24th, 2000 09:47:21 PM
I heard there'll be a special "Head of God" carrying case. Also, they recalled the Sodom and Gomorrah playset after several kids got radiation burns from the "Wrath of God" flash powder, and one was turned into a pillar of salt. Look for the crucifixion playset in time for next Easter, along with the special "Holy Trinity" set of the Father, Son and Holy Ghost, in translucent plastic, available only at Burger King.
Jesus wasn't white or black =) by Scopa	Apr 24th, 2000 10:47:50 PM
He probably looked more like Osama bin ladan(world terrorist) than either of these figures =) I picture him as a skinny Arab, not a White or Black guy like these figures imply... As for being Asian... well... Not the stereo-typical Asian (China, Japan etc..) but I guess the Middle East is considered part of asia, though some people would argue that point.
Jesus can kick SPAWN'S ass! by Bono	Apr 24th, 2000 11:23:29 PM
Not only that, but his ability to defy gravity rivals Superman's. His only weakness, however, is wood. Happy Easter!
JESUS vs. THE IRON GIANT: Who is kinder? by Bono	Apr 24th, 2000 11:25:03 PM
Tough call, but I'd say THE IRON GIANT (though both of them have a pretty hot temper...)
ANGRY CHRISTIAN PERSPECTIVE!!! by Doug Exeter	Apr 24th, 2000 11:56:23 PM
Just Kidding. I really am a Christian, but I'm not angry. I actually thought that it was kind of funny. I had to laugh out loud when I saw the Job figure. Complete with festering sores, kids! And the fact that Goliath was so huge. Well for them being based on Jewish people, they didn't look very Jewish. David a blonde? Anyway, very funny. And Moses looked like Obi-Wan Kenobi. I think we know now how the Red Sea was really parted!!! Moses looked at the sea, waved his hand in the Jedi way, and said, "You will let us walk through on dry land."
Ahhh! by The Riot	Apr 25th, 2000 12:17:00 AM

Ahhh! (oops) by The Riot	Apr 25th, 2000 12:18:36 AM
It's not Job's festering sores that frighten me, it's Eve's chest hair...
Happy Young Christians by Lazarus Long	Apr 25th, 2000 12:31:14 AM
You have to be a real stooge to still entertain the notion of a blonde-haired, blue-eyes Jesus. Of course, if you believe in fairy tales, the details are interchangeable. It really incenses me that Christianity is so widespread across the world when the religion (in fact, all religions) is so ethnocentric. Should Eskimos really believe that this guy died for their sins? Halfway around the world and looking nothing like him? Or the decendants of the Inquisition's victims that are now die-hard Christian supporters? I've said it before, and I'll continue to say it: more harm has been done in the name of religion than good. If the Africans brought over as slaves or Native Americans that were massacred were wearing crosses the Americans would never have been so cruel. "Do unto others..." Yeah, right. Fucking hypocrites. What a proud heritage.
Umm, is it just me or is this "story" kinda outta place on this by Cereal Killer	Apr 25th, 2000 12:59:51 AM
I guess it's here because we geeks are assumed to be interested in "action figures" of any type. Now I'll admit that I spent some time yesterday on Ebay looking for an old Action Jackson doll but not cause I still play with toys. (I swear on a stack of Biblical action figures) Anyway these toys seem ultra-lame and guaranteed to defeat their own purpose. They would seem to be trying to appeal to parents who want to break their kids of playing with G.I. Joe and Batman and get them to learn about the Bible by playing with Moses and David. Okay in theory but these figures are so dull-looking that no kid is gonna want them. They're barely poseable and have no cool outfits and look rather generic. I can just see it now. "Johnny, thank Grandma for the wonderful Bible action figures." "Awe, Mom, do I hafta? They suck. Can't Grandma just give me socks?" "You take that Jesus doll upstairs right now, young man, and heal your sister's Barbie." As for the argument over whether they should make a set in caucasian or black, since Jesus is from Israel shouldn't he look like the other people in Israel? In other words Middle Eastern? Anyway, I don't think I'd want to know a kid who'd want these over the latest Disney toy.
I'll bet... by knox21	Apr 25th, 2000 01:37:45 AM
...that Mary and Eve are the tough ones to find.
There's Goliath for David... by knox21	Apr 25th, 2000 01:40:19 AM
...but know Satan for Jesus. Who's Jesus gonna fight?
If Mcfarlane had done these... by knox21	Apr 25th, 2000 01:45:02 AM
...Jesus would have body armor and 4 REALLY big guns.
Bring Back Elian Gonzalez!!! Yiiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiy iyi by DarthJoe	Apr 25th, 2000 01:55:13 AM

"New Action Jesus!!!!"... by Otter	Apr 25th, 2000 06:21:51 AM
...Manger, Water & wine sold seperately. Action Cross requires some assembly....
Actually... by Otter	Apr 25th, 2000 06:29:59 AM
The Jesus figure is about the right size to go head to head with my Jesse Custer "Preacher" figure.... sounds like an apocalyptic showdown to me...
Hmmmmm.... by Dextarin	Apr 25th, 2000 10:08:11 AM
I think these action figures don't look very action oriented. But, rest assured, this isn't the only company working on such a project as this. I know of one company that is working on something similar. Trust me. There is something over the horizon from a different company that is much cooler than this.
How is this coaxial news??? by agentcooper	Apr 25th, 2000 10:12:14 AM
...You guys complaining about Hercules' columns take note: This stuff El Cosmico writes about has nothing to do with television.
" I'LL TAKE THE COMMANDO JESUS WITH THE KUNG-FU GRIP,PLEASE" by fried samurai	Apr 25th, 2000 10:48:24 AM

Utterly ridiculous by emorr	Apr 25th, 2000 12:14:32 PM
Don't forget the Hispanic, Asian, East Indian, Hebrew (aka Oxymoronic), and Lesbian series. Oh, and in the nostaliga department, how about the Aryan and even Tartar lines. Give me a break. Why did they feel the need to do this. Religion and PCness don't mix.
Utterly ridiculous by emorr	Apr 25th, 2000 12:17:31 PM
Don't forget the Hispanic, Asian, East Indian, Hebrew (aka Oxymoronic), and Lesbian series. Oh, and in the nostaliga department, how about the Aryan and even Tartar lines. Give me a break. Why did they feel the need to do this. Religion and PCness don't mix.
Battle Action Jesus by ackbargirl	Apr 25th, 2000 01:35:51 PM
I'm waiting for the crucifix diorama...ooh that's bad, I know...sorry Christians.
Jesus brothel action! by DarthMarySue	Apr 25th, 2000 02:14:28 PM
Personally, I'm waiting on the Mary Magdelene & co prostitution playset. Jesus gets some--yeah!
Jesus was Jewish by Shaft9876	Apr 25th, 2000 05:57:34 PM
It's amazing how people can argue over something that is stated right there in the book. Jewish. Jewish. And again, Jewish. So what did he look like? Uh...Jewish?
Elian IS Jesus! Its true! by Art Bell	Apr 25th, 2000 09:00:57 PM
Just ask sombody. There is an action figure in the works right now! You'll see.
DID YOU ALL NOTICE...? by takehim2detroit	Apr 26th, 2000 07:50:53 AM
That the "African-American Heritage" Eve is white?? That's pretty goddamned funny.

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Action Figures O' The Day, Episode 1: Jesus

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