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Moriarty's RUMBLINGS FROM THE LAB : the return!!!! Many many subjects!

Generalizations and unnecessary roughness in your Andrew Niccols by Alexandra DuPont	Dec 8th, 1999 12:12:24 AM
Great column as always, Moriarty, but I do have to take exception to your comments about Andrew Niccols
movies by 00spool	Dec 8th, 1999 12:26:39 AM
Am I the only one who is sick and tired of movies about humans and their ridiculous problems? Arrogant fucking species if you ask me. Lets see more films shot about the reality and unreality of this planet without including people. This is just a phase for the 20th century and its played.
Oh, that movie by Alexandra DuPont	Dec 8th, 1999 12:31:31 AM
... It's called "Milo and Otis."
comforting by WakeUpBomb	Dec 8th, 1999 12:37:36 AM
It's nice to see that with the recent resurgence in quality character-driven movies these day, we can still count on Hollywood to provide us with movies about men tracking down genetically engineered dogs. But seriously, nice report. I'm really excited about the Mr. Show guys and their movie - I just wish I still had HBO!
First...woohoo!!! by phuzion	Dec 8th, 1999 12:42:02 AM
...
Only one paragraph of 'Evil Genius' schtick? by Powerslave	Dec 8th, 1999 12:42:10 AM
You're slipping, Moriarty...
Thank you for giving PTA credit by Germster	Dec 8th, 1999 12:53:31 AM
This review was amazing in the way it praises Paul Thomas Anderson's genius. I am truly one of his biggest fans and ESPECIALLY after reading this, i can not WAIT to see Magnolia. Thank you for giving PTA the credit he deserves, he truly is going to be one of our masters of the art.
Ass Rangers by Crisco Love	Dec 8th, 1999 12:57:53 AM
Am I the only one who's sick of seeing Stan Winston's alien characters? Granted, the man is a genuis, but give him something different to do. Perhaps Ang Lee should have consulted with Winston about making an animatronic Jewel who can actually act....Hmmmmm...
Magnolia by DarthJoe	Dec 8th, 1999 01:20:20 AM
Dude, I have to see that movie but it doesn't open here til January! AaaarrrrggghHh!!! Why limited release NewLine? Why? sniff
Rumblings by DarthJoe	Dec 8th, 1999 01:26:01 AM
Dude, Wild Kingdom sounds cool. Larry David is probably a prick. And the plot for Envy is the exact same as Sour Grapes. Exchange "lottery" with "slot machine jackpot".
Golgo, you ass. by Renly	Dec 8th, 1999 02:34:47 AM
New topic: Okay, this is gonna seem random, but the whole Mr. Show thing got me thinkin...I just watched Cable Guy again today, and I'm sorry, but Ben Stiller knows every cool person in Hollywood. His movie's got cameos by Jack Black, Owen Wilson, Janeane Garofalo, and David Cross. David Cross made me laugh more in a 2 minute scene in MIB than the entirety of Never Been Kissed. later -Renly
New Line's Marketing Department by Toby O. Notobe	Dec 8th, 1999 03:21:50 AM
You gotta hand it to these guys. How to you get people to rent/buy a DVD of a crap movie like the Astronaut
To the loser that thought he/she was first: by First	Dec 8th, 1999 03:39:15 AM
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... You were fifth! Fifth! And it's not like you have a good excuse for being fifth when you OBVIOUSLY thought you were first. You only typed "..." as your message. Sooooo slow on the draw... Always the bridesmaid, never the bride... Such a sad life. I weep for you. This message brought to you as a public service to briefly divert your attention from whatever exchange is going on between Warrior and whomever he is currently warring against. See you in Reno.
...and about the Warrior... by First	Dec 8th, 1999 03:47:20 AM
Is this the same Warrior that used to put "(by Warrior)" in every single one of his subject headings? {For example, the subject heading above would read: "...and about the Warrior (by Warrior)"}Or was that a different The Warrior? Or perhaps it was a Valkyre? "Green Elf has shot the food!" "Blue Wizard needs food badly!" Gauntlet. That game was great... Anyhoo, no offense to the current The Warrior if the other guy was a merely a doppelganger. I just think that the guy that used to sign his name in every subject heading was a dink. See you in sensible pumps.
Gauntlet was cool, but by Lazarus Long	Dec 8th, 1999 04:37:12 AM
do you remember the other 4-player video game "quartet"? insteat of gauntlet's bird's eye maze view, it was a profile view where all four players are moving through various enemy strongholds? didn't think so. there was a lame home version on the original Sega Master system. Anyway, I will say that "Boogie Nights", even though it overstayed its welcome with the lame inclusion of cocaine (see GoodFellas), contained the freshest filmmaking energy since Pulp Fiction. I hope Magnolia is like Short Cuts, which I felt was one of the best films of 1993, if not the best. More real human content than Schindler's List, anyway. It's going to be a tight race between Philip Seymour Hoffman (Flawless), Christopher Plummer (The Insider), and Tom Cruise for Best Supporting Actor this year. Down with Haley Joel Osment and you overrating simpletons! Silence of the Lambs didn't deserve any awards, don't think Sixth Sense is anywhere close!
Know Harry, Know peace. Knowles Harry, Not me. A message for JJ by First	Dec 8th, 1999 09:01:15 AM
Heh... So am I to understand that you have determined that I am in fact one Harry Knowles? Yes? Hmmm. I can't quite figure out if you're just joking around or if you're really just a raving lune. In any case, you're wrong. Let me just walk you through some of the more obvious telltale signs, okay Encyclopedia Brown? (Everyone else may want to move on now, I'm going to dumb this down substantially for this guy...) JJ, read this slow. Let it linger until it all comes together for you. Don't worry, the correct neurons will fire EVENTUALLY. Be patient. Listen up. Harry Knowles is a large gentleman that lives in Texas. He's in charge of this site. You see that jolly smiling cartoon character up on the upper left hand corner of this page? That's Harry. (I mean it. Literally. THAT'S Harry. Scroll up there right now. He's watching you. He'll wink at you if scratch his beard with your pinky. Try it, it's cute!) Me? I'm NOT Harry. I will press charges if you attempt to touch me ANYWHERE with your pinky. Here's some other clues that might lead you to conclusions regarding my identity. Recall that Harry is the gentleman in Texas. Now put your mouse over my name above. Notice what the address is? That's right! It says something about Indiana. I won't go into a HUGE lecture about geography or anything (because we're taking BABY STEPS here today!) but any map of the United States that isn't printed on the back of a Denny's placemat will reveal to you that Indiana is in fact quite a bit away from Texas. (No no no... I know they LOOK really close, but that's just an illusion on the paper. The real world is very very large.) Now, digging a little deeper, you will find that you can easily find the webpage of the university that I am affiliated with. Then you're merely a few simple clicks away from doing a simple search for me to find out that the university does in fact have me on file. They've even got my webpage listed, complete with photos that reveal me to NOT be a.) red-head b.) bearded or c.) hefty. In fact, I'm quite clean shaven and rather svelt. (And short.) Ask yourself why a Big 10 state school would give an e-mail account to a non-resident who didn't attend the school, espeically one that wanted an e-mail address as lame as mine. It just doesn't add up. Now a word about these "Harry is everywhere" delusions of yours: If you're trying to impress Jodie Foster, you'll have to go a little more mainstream in your choice of stalkees in order to really get her attention. John Hinkley went for President Reagan back in the day, but he was ambitious (and chose a target that was a bit obvious, in my opinion. He was the leader of the free world at the time! Choose someone a LITTLE less predictable, otherwise she'll think you're desperate...) I'd suggest perhaps Hillary Clinton (big newsmaker these days!), or perhaps an NBA star. As you make your move, please consider shouting this phrase during your spree: "Monkey is a lottery toot! Monkey is a lottery toot!!" It's just a little something I came up with during a mad fever dream one night and I'd really like to see it enter the pop culture lexicon. I hope you've found this little lesson educational. Now wipe the corner of your mouth (no, the other side) and go outside and play. A kid like you shouldn't be couped up inside all day! You've got bugs to crush and small animals to gut. See you in my bathroom, hiding behind the shower curtain with a knife.
off the subject(s) by Yossarian	Dec 8th, 1999 09:03:43 AM
Someone needs to send a henchman over and find out something about frikkin' Ender's Game. What's goin' on with that film? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Anyone?****Also, It IS December, shouldn't we all be fighting over casting rumours for Episode 2? See you in Spandex.
Pleased, but.... by Duke	Dec 8th, 1999 09:37:03 AM
Not to belabor this point or beat a dead horse or spank a dead fish, but while I was pleased to see the "evil genius" back in the saddle, I still would like to see him insert some headers in his articles if he's so damn smart. Otherwise this becomes "ramblings" from the lab as opposed to "rumblings." Or maybe I just don't understand the need for an evil genius to hold us as a captive audience throughout his entire diatribe instead of letting us read about the subjects that we want. Come to think of it....that IS pretty darn evil! I take it all back...don't ever put in headers...I now see the "genius" of your "evil"....aaaarrrrrrg!
New Line and C_Jason_D by smilin'jackruby	Dec 8th, 1999 10:46:57 AM
Testify, Moriarity, New Line DVD makes me happy I made that investment in both the machine and the "Nightmare" box set. Paramount hasn't done shit yet, but I'd LOVE to see a box set half as good as the "Nightmare" one done with "Friday the 13th." I'd pre-order that bad boy the day it came out. As for the reference to C_Jason_D in my subject line, I try to avoid personal attacks, but I am from Austin and went to UT and then went to grad at Indiana University and just want the world to realize that Indiana University, Bloomington, Indiana, and Indiana itself is perhaps the absolute worst place on the planet. Yes, that is not a nice thing to say, but the only thing decent about Bloomington is the extensive video collection in the library that the backwards hicks have never sampled (I think I was the only person who had ever checked out the copy of Kurosawa's "Red Beard.") Other than that, I can honestly say that I would be happy to wake up one day and find that Indiana University had been destroyed in a flood, a plague, or ANYTHING of the seismic measure (now that I am safely in L.A.). For fuck's sake, I missed TRAFFIC (not the Steve Winwood group, but the thing involving many, many cars) when I was in Indiana. Bloomington is nothing like Austin and suffers from many delusions (as, I'm sure, do I). It doesn't get much more haplessly and provincially middle-America than Indiana University. If you don't believe me, go there. I apologize to all I've offended, but that's been building up for months and should be flamed as a meaningless, petty little rant.
I'll Defend Larry David by mrbeaks	Dec 8th, 1999 11:08:52 AM
1) I thought his recent HBO special was very funny. If you didn't see it, I'd recommend checking it out. 2) SOUR GRAPES, while certainly not a well-directed movie by any stretch of the imagination, was no more ineptly filmed than, say, any of Kevin Smith's work. And while I wouldn't call it an inspired effort, it made me laugh on occasion, which would be enough to win it a reprieve from being included on my ten worst list (you'd be amazed how many times Shaq appears on that thing.) IMO, I think you're being a little hard on the guy, as well as Andrew Niccol. I'd wait until you've had a chance to read the script before judging it on a brief synopsis (which could always be misleading.) Other than that, good report, and thanks for getting me more excited about MAGNOLIA. As if the excellent trailer weren't enough.
JJ and the Warrior -- 2 bitter losers by Deltahead	Dec 8th, 1999 11:10:29 AM
I swear, you two are the worst thing about Talkback. Two cynics hiding in the corner and poking at everything like the two old guys on the Muppets (named Statler and Waldorf, incidentally. There's your fact for the day.) Why is Harry a sellout? Because studios will sometimes send him passes and posters? You know who else gets those promotional packages? EVERY SINGLE REVIEWER in the past twenty years. Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel and Rex Reed and any other movie critic that's ever held any respect in this business. Studios send that crap out like candy, Harry's just up-front about receiving it. What is it with you two? If the report doesn't come from someone who snuck into the studio through a window and hid under the catering table, it's automatically tainted? It must come from the "underground" to have validity? What a JOKE. And as for an AICN television show, I say Great. We Talkbackers have been wishing for years that somehow, television could bring us the kind of entertainment news we wanted, instead of that gossip and fluff-interview pablum. Harry, good luck, keep up your EXCELLENT work, and happy birthday. JJ and Warrior, any time you want to show a little more common sense in your dialogue (and yes, talkback is supposed to be a DIALOGUE between fans, not random shouts in the dark), that would be much appreciated. Peace.
MAGNOLIA MAGNOLIA MAGNOLIA! by r_dimitri22	Dec 8th, 1999 11:16:30 AM
I am so psyched to see this film. Most of my friends think I heap way too much praise on Boogie Nights, but that film was pure excellence. Hard Eight was also very good. Question: did Harry or Moriarty ever review The Limey? I'd like to discuss it with someone.
kids? by kochez	Dec 8th, 1999 11:23:11 AM
can anyone tell me about the kids in the hall touring?
RE: Deltahead by mrbeaks	Dec 8th, 1999 11:46:11 AM
I only wanted to take exception to the lumping together of "Rex Reed" and "respect" in the same sentence. The day that man has something worthwhile to say will be the day George Lucas releases HOWARD THE DUCK: THE SPECIAL EDITION.
Chicken pot, chicken pot, chicken pot PIE! by marsyas	Dec 8th, 1999 12:08:03 PM

Re: JJ and the Warrior by Deltahead	Dec 8th, 1999 12:30:13 PM
I don't want to fight. In fact, I believe you two are intelligent folks, I just think your anger is misdirected. You're sounding more and more like a parrot every time you call Harry a sell-out. I ask again: What is the proof? As I pointed out before, everyone gets promotional packages. I think it's a credit to Harry that he gives us an honest account of what he's received and who has given it to him. You don't agree with some of his reviews? Well, boo-hoo, neither do I. Every Talkbacker has disagreed with Harry at some point. The discussion is the key, and that's why it's so sad when Talkback spirals down into flame wars. In the end, it comes down to a matter of trust. I've never had the pleasure of meeting Harry face-to-face, but I've been with this site for over three years now, so I've read his writings from many different stages: from his deep depression at the loss of someone close to him, his happiness at seeing excellent films, the curiosity in reporting on a film from it's pre-production phase until opening night, and most of all, the obvious joy of his daily reports from the Episode 1 ticket line, which I think is one of the greatest moments of this site's history. So I'm willing to put a little faith in Harry Knowles. When I agree with him, I say so, and when I disagree, I say so too. But it will take more than two people sniping from behind anonymous user names before I give up my basic optimism. You think Harry's been "bought and sold"? Stop visiting this site and start your own. No one can stop you, and that's the most beautiful thing about the Internet. If you want to remain here, try to contribute to a dialogue instead of acting like a one-trick pony. You see, I have some faith in you too. That's just the way I am. Peace.
MANGOLIA aka ARGH! My Ass is Fuckin' Killing Me!!! by Tall_Boy	Dec 8th, 1999 01:09:30 PM
Okay, right now the only 3 hour flick on my plate would be THE GREEN MILE, and Mangolia, while it does sound cool from what I've read, 3 and a half hours should possibly have them give us water bottles for our collective asses. Now I envy the fanboys out there who have nice, large soft fat asses because you'll probably be able to endure it, but mine is rather skiny and my skiny little ass is gonna fuckin' ache from sitting in there for so goddamn long (and check the nick, I'm 6'6 so there's no fuckin' room for my legs either! I hate being a freak.) So I thnk I'll sit through Green Mile cuz I read the book, but Mangolia I'll wait for on video cuz my butt can only take so much punishment. XYU.
Deltahead is an optimist... by Deltahead	Dec 8th, 1999 01:17:17 PM
...which has usually been a lot more dangerous than being a sheep. And The Warrior is right, calling you two losers was a mistake. I lost my temper and I apologize. Using anonymous nicknames can sometimes cause people to say things they wouldn't do face-to-face. Anyway: Warrior, I also liked Howard the Duck a lot, and Lea Thompson is on my list of under-appreciated hot chicks (although her Van Halen hairstyle in that movie's kind of a turn off. She was much cuter in Back to the Future.) And it may be possible for someone to get addicted to freebies, but I think Harry's still a loooong way from being a studio shill. He enjoyed being on the set of Grinch, and he said so. But he hasn't even posted a review of the movie yet, (hell, the movie isn't even DONE yet) so don't rush to say his judgement has been affected. But I am NO SHEEP. I state my own opinions, but I do it with some forethought. When I've disagreed with Harry, I've said so loud and proud. I would rather build something than tear it down, that's all. Peace.
Lea Thompson by eegah	Dec 8th, 1999 02:50:11 PM
While she is most assuredly smokin' in "Howard" and girl-next-door luscious in "Back to the Future. Gentleman, you are forgetting the hottest of the hot Lea Thompson appearances..."Some Kind of Wonderful"!!! Scantily clad drying her hair in the locker room? MMMMMM.
Ronnie Dobbs by Darth Boner	Dec 8th, 1999 03:39:06 PM
By the way, he's the most arrested man on FUZZ, not COPS. He's been arrested in all 50 states, France ("Speak American, mother fucker!"), and even above Earth in orbit during a ratings stunt. Moreover, he's also been a star of stage and screen. "Y'all are brutalizing me!"
Magnolia trailer by BrooksMarlin	Dec 8th, 1999 03:49:37 PM
Does anyone know the name of the song that's being played during the first half of the Magnolia trailer? It's really good so I want to get it.
your right jj.... by elryano	Dec 8th, 1999 03:53:27 PM
hey iam new to this here talkback thing...but i gotta tell u jj,u and the warrior are correct i beleve.... imean i never thought harry was a sell-out either until i overheard him one day scream"FUCK!THAT "BATS"MOVIE WAS FUCKIN GREAT", as he put a lou diamond action figure into his pocket....that bastard will sell-out for ANYTHING....and it wasnt even the lou diamond phillips action fig with the kung-fu grip...bastard!!! so if u and warrior wanna start a "revoultion" count me in padre......me and all my mistypings will join u in taking down this man........bats..what the fuck
Detroit first on dvd? by Thunderball	Dec 8th, 1999 03:58:31 PM
In Regards to Detroit Rock City being the first dvd to beat its tape counterpoint, well, wasn't Lethal Weapon 4 released on dvd before the VHS video? If not (because I'm really not sure on that one), I know the dvd box set of that Tom Hanks HBO space mini-series was released several months before it hit tape. Not complaining mind you, I'm all for earlier dvd releases, just wondering.
Apple pie by eegah	Dec 8th, 1999 04:10:10 PM
Warrior, you are so right! I can't believe Eric Stolz goes with Manly Stuart Masterson over her!!! What a homo.
Don't Think by bswise	Dec 8th, 1999 04:20:12 PM
Yah, great column, welcome back and all that - but the single gratest Sketch Comedy show of the 90's is THE UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE!
voice of reason by elryano	Dec 8th, 1999 04:53:13 PM
the voice of reason says we should not think of him as a sell-out he does any and everything we would do in his shoes...the voice of reason also says that we should give him the benifit of the doubt here maybe that dogma reviews coming...maybe he really did like sleepy hollow as much as he said he did...and the voice also says that we need to remember hes the one who put the smackdown on papa geek when he tried to censor this here talkback thing..but u know what FUCK THE VOICE OF REASON!!!!!!there is no room...and i mean NO room in a reveloution for a voice of reason....all of u join forces with me....we say damn the logicial apraoch...damn reason....light em up boys...so whos in with me who will join the revoultion..who will teach me how to spell it.....there will be victims here we will lose people dont get me wrong but in the end we will have what we want the old harry back..now u can join me are u can sit around talking about lea thompsan..who lost all cuteness with that damn sitcom she did...come on one person cant do it himself(just ask the unabomer...but 4 or 5 people...yeah that should do it..... viva revoultion
Where oh where, can the DOGMA REVIEW be....? by Funmazer	Dec 8th, 1999 05:26:14 PM
Yes, where IS that review? Where could it be? I thought the same thing as the above poster, that the review is being SAT ON. I remember Dogma being called "Kevin Smith's latest masterwork" by Harry (before it came out).... hm... so.... shouldn't he write a review telling us all about it? Harry has written some negative reviews before, but, as we all know, they are always SAFE targets. Even "not liking Bond that much" is pretty safe. A bad Inspector Gadget review, no problem! But a bad review of a total GEEK film... that's different. So where is it? He obviously saw it. I don't like Kevin Smith or even own a Star Wars toy and I even saw it! SHOW ME THE REVIEW!
Where's DOGMA?/Moriarty's post by Cronksty	Dec 8th, 1999 09:48:26 PM
Even though this is like the umpteenth post about DOGMA, WHERE THE HELL IS IT??? It's OK to not like a film Harry, and you know what? It would have been OK to dislike ARMAGEDDON. Anyways, this is to MORIARTY: I love your reviews/reports and everything, but this whole evil scientist thing going on is starting to make you sound a bit like the Comic book guy on the Simpsons. We don't need anykind of strange introduction to material about film. It's all starting to sound a bit like a Dungeon's and Dragon's game.

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