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Vern reviews ITS ALIVE remake film!!!

First! by Fiend1138	Jul 13th, 2009 02:08:10 AM
first time ever.. yep...
second. by Fiend1138	Jul 13th, 2009 02:16:25 AM
yep
and third... by Fiend1138	Jul 13th, 2009 02:16:57 AM
i'm up waaaay too late...
So, do they kill the baby or does it do them in? by JuanSanchez	Jul 13th, 2009 02:17:34 AM
I've always wanted to see a baby blown to pieces JAWS style.
next up on the remake block: S-s-s-s by mr. smith	Jul 13th, 2009 02:26:13 AM
why the hell not.
Kathy Bates should have played the baby by CHRISTIAN_BALE_TRASHED_MY_LIGHTS	Jul 13th, 2009 03:41:57 AM

Best. Review. Ever. by Knuckleduster	Jul 13th, 2009 04:25:13 AM
What do they call an abortion in Mexico? Adios Embrios! Ba-dum-dum.
IT'S A LION! by SmallTuna	Jul 13th, 2009 06:25:42 AM

Remake The Stuff... by Redfive!	Jul 13th, 2009 06:27:25 AM
That could be good...F-ITS ALIVE.
I liked the scene in the original... by PessimusGrime	Jul 13th, 2009 06:32:41 AM
...where the mutant baby killed the milkman in his truck, shattering milk bottles in the process. Milk started pouring out the back of the truck, it started turning pink as blood mixed in, getting pinker and redder with more blood pouring out of the unseen, dismembered milkman, then finally just gallons of solid red gushing out the back door of the milk truck. Over the top, funny, but also horrific.
TITBAG by Buzz_Aldrin	Jul 13th, 2009 07:25:02 AM
I take a similar yet opposite way - whenever a remake is announced i rewatch the original...
Its clear that this is a Pro-Choice, propaganda movie. by Fareal	Jul 13th, 2009 07:25:19 AM
ITS ALIVE is just another Pro-Choice movie from the liberal elites of Hollywood. The message is very clear; this is what might happen if abortion was outlawed. Women would be forced to give birth to killer babies, and to cover up their crimes, because they feel responsible. I want to make it known to all women considering abortion that you will not be held responsible for any murders that your newborn baby may commit. Don't let the Hollywood Liberals scare you into getting an abortion. The young woman in this movie should have given up her baby for adoption, and then some other family would have had to deal her mutant, killer baby.
Still waiting on the SHAKRA remake with the baboon. by Mike_D	Jul 13th, 2009 07:36:00 AM
oh yes
All I remember of the original by Stuntcock Mike	Jul 13th, 2009 07:45:49 AM
The milk truck with blood flowing out of the back.
Next for remake: PHASE IV by palimpsest	Jul 13th, 2009 07:58:15 AM
But like, with hotties and this time like we totally stamp on them ants.
Kudos, Mr. Smith by 2for2true	Jul 13th, 2009 07:59:00 AM
..for remembering S-s-s-s. I thought I was the only person around that saw that jewel. Lots of fond memories of that one.
One would think a killer baby flick would... by The_Floating_Skull_of_Robert_Log gia	Jul 13th, 2009 08:00:18 AM
...scare the bejesus out of all of the fifteen year old welfare moms in there Roca Wear sweatshirts who adorn their mixed-race-to-piss-off-daddy kids with $200 dollar baby "kicks" and South Pole sweatshirts and Ed Hardy sideways hats. Maybe it'd serve as a cautionary tale, and prevent the births of thousands of future thugs/gang members/prison inmates the world over. I say that if there's even a remote chance that this film would put these chicks off sex and procreation for at least a year then the government should step forward and subsidize a massive cinema release. Hell, show it for free. Make it mandatory viewing in High Schools. Save our planet from Generation Diddy.
Sooo pretty much by Series7	Jul 13th, 2009 08:11:48 AM
If you've seen the trailer you've seen the movie, nudity and all.
best part of the original by jccalhoun	Jul 13th, 2009 08:40:30 AM
Is when the fathera are in the waiting room and they are all chain smoking out in the open in the hospital. The main character is so badass he is not only smoking he is also chewing gum at the same time. Watching the original now is really interesting because it gives a window into how medicine was done back then.
Another reason why "Action PPV" is missed.... by Mr. Profit	Jul 13th, 2009 08:51:33 AM
Crap like this gets no platform. I remember seeing "The Granny", "Hard To Die" and other mindless DTV horror or action films on Action PPV back in the day... Too bad the channel is gone.
Nice, Vern by ThusSpakeSpymunk	Jul 13th, 2009 09:01:03 AM
Your sentiments really are welcome. People in the US won't accept this kind of movie any more - and I loved your remark that just because it's outrageous that people will think it also must be bad. That's the kind of idiot attitudes that win the day now.
I think I saw "It Lives Again" by turketron_2	Jul 13th, 2009 09:36:51 AM
With some friends a few years ago during a summer of bad horror movies from the dollar rental place. Pretty laughable affair, the mutant babies kept making these ridiculous growling noises and the father just would tell them to "Stop that!". We always wanted to rent the 3rd movie because of it's ridiculous title: "It's Alive III: Island of the Alive". WTFtacular.
Like Yesterday's Used Diaper by OldManPreviews	Jul 13th, 2009 09:42:11 AM
Got a screener of this in the office last week and watched it this past weekend... total crap. Needless, but also just not very good at all. On the other hand, I also checked out a screener for the giant insect invasion horror comedy, "Infestation", starring Chris Marquette of "Fanboys" and the great Ray Wise of "Twin Peaks" and "Reaper," and have to say I loved it. Great effects, some funny dialog, and great acting from the cast. This streets October 13th if you want to check it out...
It's Alive III: Island of the Alive by Samplelord	Jul 13th, 2009 09:46:58 AM
I'm a hardcore It's Alive Fan, It's Alive III: Island of the Alive is the most strange, bizzaro, sureal killer baby movie ever made...be sure to check it out while being strunk as sh*t.
The guy loves "phone-horror" by skimn	Jul 13th, 2009 10:42:05 AM
Larry Cohen is attached as writer of an upcoming movie involving an answering machine, like Cellular and Phone Booth before. Why has no one mentioned remaking God Told Me To? Would that even be able to be made today? How about it, Scorcese?
"You don't just go around pointing fingers at a newborn." by D.Vader	Jul 13th, 2009 10:57:14 AM
Classic.
actually, another great scene from the original... by jdolph	Jul 13th, 2009 11:04:38 AM
...has the pacing smoking father(John P. Ryan) see a doctor stagger out of the delivery room with his throat slashed and when he runs in, the wife is in stirrups screaming, every doctor and nurse slaughtered and blood everywhere(this follows a scene during the delivery where the doctor says,"the baby's head is too big-give me the forceps")and there is a hole in the ceiling where the newborn baby jumped out....great scene...and in the original, the mutation was caused by ....BIRTH CONTROL...
Loved the original by Chakalak	Jul 13th, 2009 11:14:49 AM
I agree - the milkman scene was incredible, along with the slaughter of the delivery room staff. The scene where the baby found its way home and the mother picked it up from its bassinet wrapped in a blanket was actually strangely touching. The movie poster was also fantastic. I saw this in the theater when I was 8 years old (it was rated PG, after all) and couldn't get it out of my mind - finally found it again in the college library 12 years later and it was just as good as I remembered it. I had to walk out of the theater and wait in the lobby several times, it was so intense.
vern, have you seen GRACE? by PotSmokinAlien	Jul 13th, 2009 12:10:08 PM
it's a movie about a sort-of zombie baby and the lengths her mom goes to to keep her alive. it's really well done. also there is a weird fixation on lactation fetishes. i saw it at the boston independant film festival this year, dunno if it's got any kind of distribution yet, but if you stumble across it it's totally worth checking out.
Another horror remake... by Dapper Swindler	Jul 13th, 2009 12:15:19 PM
Another talkback where I advocate a Killer Klowns from Outer Space remake or, fine, sequel.
So, the It's Alive baby grew up by AsimovLives	Jul 13th, 2009 12:30:17 PM
and he became JJ Abrams.
Oh no, that's not right! by AsimovLives	Jul 13th, 2009 12:31:01 PM
JJ Abrams was not a monster baby. No, he's not that. No, JJ Abrams is a BABY EATER!
I guess after The Excorcist and The Omen by Spandau Belly	Jul 13th, 2009 12:43:26 PM
they really had to go a lot younger with the evil child to make it shocking. In that movie called WHO CAN KILL A CHILD? a lady's fetal baby eats her from inside the womb. So I guess the only way to top that is for an itch in some man's pants to be the killer.
Great write-up as always by buffywrestling	Jul 13th, 2009 12:45:44 PM
Fav line: "They're too literal, too square, too anti-killer baby. So fuck 'em."
S-s-s-s by Wrath4771	Jul 13th, 2009 12:48:46 PM
Made me poop my pants when I was six.
"Don't Be Afraid of the Dark" by rxse7en	Jul 13th, 2009 03:55:08 PM
I just have a gut feeling that it will be remade.
Nevermind... by rxse7en	Jul 13th, 2009 03:56:14 PM
http://tinyurl.com/kls2km
I'll see it by GiveMeAnFinBreak	Jul 13th, 2009 04:12:03 PM
Just for Bijou Phillips' tits.
I still want to see this by SoylentMean	Jul 13th, 2009 06:01:34 PM
killer babies are everywhere!
Agree with PessimusGrime & HOUSE/HAUNTED HILL by thegreatwhatzit	Jul 13th, 2009 06:35:33 PM
The original's near-Biblical variant (milk transforms into blood) would have appealed to Hitchcock; best scene in the movie. I'm passionately anti-remake, exempting HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL. The original's plot gaffes are ludicrous, but the film functioned as my introduction to Vincent Price (whom I subsequently had the privilege of personally interviewing twice in the 80s) and William Castle. The remake was released sans the Castle panache for gimmicks and an interactive fraternity. Not a great film--but I never miss an opportunity to view its repeated telecasts. Go figure (the babes are hotter than a Cajun barbecue in Hell). Check out the remake's deleted footage on the DVD (other omissions are visible on the trailer, including the flexible and hostile stained glass). Not so ironically, the remake's sequel--RETURN TO HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL--is a rhino turd (as usual, Cerina Vincent's cleavage is a welcome). distraction).
Once again... by DrMorbius	Jul 13th, 2009 07:50:29 PM
AssimovLives posts inre: his estranged lover, JJ Abrams!
We need a remake of.... by DrMorbius	Jul 13th, 2009 07:51:49 PM
13 GHOSTS!
Or....SLITHER!!!!!! by DrMorbius	Jul 13th, 2009 07:52:25 PM

Here's a great killer baby cartoon... by jgull	Jul 13th, 2009 09:06:54 PM
Very funny, yet bizarre short baby killer cartoon titled Full Metal Baby http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =1sBudVi73Uw
Phase IV? by Dollar Bird	Jul 14th, 2009 12:26:33 AM
I can't believe anyone else remembers that movie. I also can't believe I spent an entire afternoon in high school watching that piece of boredom on USA. Also, if I recall correctly, did they use nail-polish on the ants in that movie to distinguish the different armies/tribes? Man, thems was the days, when I could count on either Captain USA or Grampa Munster or some other Svengoolie-like dude to present not-very-good horror movies on a nothing-to-do weekend. I saw more bad "animals are angry" movies from the 70s that way. Oddly enough, crap-film channel "This" just showed "Frogs" the other day and it was even worse than I remembered.
Best Larry Cohen flick: by Jarek	Jul 14th, 2009 12:51:28 AM
BONE. Hands down the best flick he ever wrote/directed. If you haven't heard of it, you need to hunt it down and watch it. It should be a bigger cult hit than it is.
Bijou's bush by Spocko	Jul 14th, 2009 12:52:46 AM
More of that? Its about time.
Once again... by AsimovLives	Jul 14th, 2009 02:20:36 AM
Dr Morbius proves he's completly useless.
If you gotta remake the Stuff... by TedKordLives	Jul 14th, 2009 04:12:38 PM
Only one man can play Mo Rutherford: Josh Brolin. Maaaaaybe Thomas Jane. With Mike Epps as Chocolate Chip Charlie.
It's Alive III: Island of the Alive by TedKordLives	Jul 14th, 2009 04:32:52 PM
It's my fave of the original three, prolly because it's got Michael Moriarty (and Gerritt Graham & Neal Israel & Karen Black) in it. It's also pretty batshit crazy, too. Best Line: "Shark? Shark? Sure, what the hell good's being shipwrecked without the fucking shark?!?!"
2nd Fave line: by TedKordLives	Jul 14th, 2009 04:46:51 PM
Neal Israel assures Moriarty, father of one of the 'Island Babies' the team is being sent to investigate after marooning them for five years, that the tranq guns are perfectly painless. Moriarty shoots him in the arm, point blank. "See you in the morning." It's better when you see it, I promise.
Larry Cohen: by TedKordLives	Jul 14th, 2009 05:05:35 PM
One of the most underrated genre filmmakers ever, imo. Anyone ever see his Masters of Horror ep, 'Pick Me Up', with Moriarty and Fairuza Balk? Not bad for a MoH.
Y'know by TedKordLives	Jul 14th, 2009 05:14:43 PM
I'm starting to lean back towards Thomas Jane in 'The New Stuff'. I liked the character stuff he did at the beginning of his 'Punisher'. Oh, but I guess I should wait until I hear Brolin's southern accent in 'Jonah Hex' before passing judgement.
It's Funny: by TedKordLives	Jul 14th, 2009 05:28:26 PM
I've become a huge Cohen fan in the last two or three years, but I still haven't seen 'God Told Me To', which is supposed to be awesome. Nor have I seen 'Bone', which a TB'er above suggested, tho I have heard of it. I haven't even seen his blaxploistation films, and I love me some Fred 'The Hammer' Williamson. Well, I didn't say it was laugh-out-loud funny.
I look forward to the DTV reviews. by OutlawsDelejos	Jul 14th, 2009 06:00:52 PM
More than the 'weekly' dvd/BLU RAY BLU RAY BLU RAY BLU RAY BLU RAY OMG OMG fkn fuckEN OMG BLU RAY!!!! column that gets dropped in every so often.
Bijou Phillips-Yum. by TedKordLives	Jul 14th, 2009 06:18:18 PM
I'd like to dive into her Bijou, if you know what I mean...
by TedKordLives	Jul 14th, 2009 07:08:57 PM
I mean her vagina.
Island of the Alive by mr. smith	Jul 14th, 2009 08:23:26 PM
best sequel name ever
TedKordLives by Jarek	Jul 15th, 2009 12:47:56 AM
'God Told Me To' is pretty cool. I've also seen both his blaxploitation flicks, which are good in their own right. Nonetheless, serious: 'Bone'. Amazing.
Once more....into the breach.... by DrMorbius	Jul 15th, 2009 01:07:49 AM
Or in other words, AssimovLives (AssimovLoves) to be fucked/fisted in his shithole (No, not his cave) that gaping orifice that spews the utter drek, tripe, e.t.c. that defines him!
they should remake God Told Me To by The Amazing G	Jul 15th, 2009 10:25:16 AM
seriously, I had wanted to see it for years and when I finally did I learned that despite the great premise the movie sucks pretty badly, definitely a big disappointment
PHASE IV... by seniorspeilbergio	Jul 15th, 2009 12:48:03 PM
Yeah, it's a little boring but it's still pretty awesome. And yes, they did put some sort of make up on the ants' heads. I still don't know how they did that. SSSSSS was cool just to see Starbuck turn into a giant snake then get beaten to death and I love FROGS. Ray Milland plays an awesome grumpy, old coot in that one. As far as 70's animal revenge films go, i still love DAY OF THE ANIMALS, FOOD OF THE GODS and EMPIRE OF THE ANTS. Check those out. And THE OTHER gets my vote for best evil child film.
"The Milkman Go-eth!" and "IA" funfacts by darthliquidator	Jul 15th, 2009 01:19:33 PM
...which is what Bernard Herrmann titled his music cue for the milkman's death. Warner Bros, not realizing what they had in "It's Alive", intitially dumped it into theatres as a double bill with "Craze" (Jack Palance going nutty from a voodoo statue, I think) A year or two later, WB re-releases it solo, backed by a brilliant funny/scary ad campaign ("There's only one thing wrong with the Davis baby...IT'S ALIVE!") I saw it then in a packed theatre, and the audience went wild for it...jumping, hooting, screaming, laughing(in the right places...as when an army of cops, guns drawn, corner an actual real, harmless baby) So let's hear it for Larry Cohen, who was Mr. High Concept decades before that phrase ever entered the movie lexicon...and at a time when symphonic movie scores were way out of fashion, he reached out to Herrmann, who was in virtual exile in England.
Mr. High Concept...Exactly. by TedKordLives	Jul 15th, 2009 08:07:04 PM
I love Larry Cohen, and yes, the Herrmann score in 'It's Alive' is amazing. The score to Island of the Alive is pretty great too, even after it's done riffing on the Herrmann score. Jarek-Hear ya, man. I'm all over it.
It's Alive III is fucking legendary... by sonnyfern	Jul 15th, 2009 08:25:40 PM
When they're all on the boat singing that crazy fucking sailer song...when Moriarty punches the cameraman in the eye...when he shoots the dude in the arm. That's just classic stuff right there man.
Larry Cohen: by sonnyfern	Jul 15th, 2009 08:27:01 PM
The Stuff! A Return To Salems Lot! Q-The Winged Serpent! Man, they don't make them like him anymore.
Another turd in the waterpipe of remakes. by Yoda's Ball Sack	Jul 16th, 2009 02:38:10 PM
I wouldn't wipe my ass with this remake or the original film.
'Grace' trailer online... by ReportAbuse	Jul 16th, 2009 08:01:17 PM
It's on YouTube and probably a few other places. Creepy and kind of gross but I guess that's the point.
Original poster freaked the shit out of me as a kid... by Cellar Door	Jul 17th, 2009 11:02:22 AM
For real...that baby sleeper/cradle thing with the oddly large "hand" with 2 digits and those huge talons hanging loosely over the edge of the cradle. The marquee text is corny sure but the photo is kick ass.
There's only one problem with this remake... by TedKordLives	Jul 20th, 2009 05:25:34 PM
IT'S ALIVE!

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Vern reviews ITS ALIVE remake film!!!

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