A TRANSFORMERS movie that is loud, nonsensical and leaves the viewer with a slightly ashamed facial expression.

Who would've predicted that?

One who decides, before a dollar is spent, "No. No. No. The world has suffered enough and does need another big-budget movie made about fighting robots."

One with the power to make it stick.

One who can assure no more TRANSFORMERS crap in my lifetime.

That's the director this needs.

Just think of all the kids who could have said "Big Robots who Smoke, how cool is that".

More addicts for you to befriend, how cool is THAT?

Ah, fuck it. I hated the first one. So, I'm not seeing this one.

*inhale*

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHAHAHAHA

ITS ROBOTS FIGHTING! Well actually, its more like 2/3s wacky robot hijinks and a boy trying to bang a slut, but then its ROBOTS FIGHTING! well, i think thats what they are, they could be random piles of junk metal, but still: ROBOTS FIGHTING

you expect too much to have a popcorn movie with even a base level of intelligence, even though that has been done in a million or so popcorn movies before...

ROBOTS!!!!! Check your brain!

Don't worry, though. We'll all outlive Michael Bay who is destined to waste all his money on whores and coke and die with a rope around his balls.

Devastator's got Balls-AsimovLives Doesn't.

Golden

Lesson: Even great writers have about 5 really good scripts in them. That's it. Good writers have 1 or 2.

Orci and Kurtzman have had a lot of b.o. success so they kept on getting thrown the ball, but as writers they are out of gas, bankrupt, and need to be retired.

Hollywood needs to realize this.

http://tinyurl.com/cngjzl

Just for a frame of reference (and I'm not trying to turn this into a Dark Knight discussion, I swear, I'm not), I thought TDK could have easily lost 15 minutes. I might like it as much as many or most others here if it had. But an HOUR?? When, knowing Bay, it's a hour of explosions and slow-mo and motion-sickness camerawork? I don't even know where to start, except to stay far, far away...

is it a Pimpmobile?

Coming soon

Based on cereal ads.

Based on board games.

Based on recipes.

Based on the AICN Talkback.

Or to maybe start huffing on the end of a broken, blunt-shaped exhaust pipe.

Then sign ANYONE but Shia LaBeouf and shit can that talentless SKANK Megan Fox ( outside of screwing she is absolutely WORTHLESS!) and POOF! KICK FUCKING ASS DUUUUDE!!

They should use that as a blurb in the ads.

It's nice when movies make money; it doesn't make them good.

Starscream?

Is that right? There's a Transformer character named after a rejected seventies prog-rock band name?

I always thought Transformers were really stupid.

I had no idea.

He gave him a couple of TESTIC(K)LES!!!

Fuck it though... I didn't pay money to see Wolverine (saw the workprint and laughed at my roommate who cursed that piece of shit after going to see it), and hopefully I'm strong enough to resist going to watch it. The worst part would be sitting there while the mouth breathing window lickers lap up the shitty humor...

You sound ridiculous.

Incredible Taste in Movies, meet Berserkr. Berserkr, meet Incredible Taste.

I thought I should introduce you before Incredible taste kicks your ass for talking about him behind his back.

FAIL

Jim Cameron takes years writing and preparing his own projects, refusing to give an inch until his vision is 100% on screen. Can you see Cameron hiring a acouple of hacks like K&O? No. Not in a million years.

2 months on can anyone remember....Star Trek?

Are YOU serious?

Incredible taste PRECLUDES the worthless crap.

Especially after being told - twice - that "conceded" is wrong.

And stupid.

When the bots from the first get such little screen time to facilitate a shitty joke, is that not a huge problem??

I enjoyed the first for what it was, but this is sounding worse and worse with every review. I just re-watched Predator, an olde- time popcorn movie, and at no time did I feel insulted for having watched it. Seven or eight different characters all established with minimal dialogue, characters you actually gave a shit about, great action that was visible for more than a second, and decent acting. Even Arnie managed a couple of different emotions. TF2 costs god-knows how many times the budget of Predator yet is a far less effective film. Why can't scripts be that effective now? Why must they be bloated yet anorexic at the same time - lots of stuff there, but zero that means a shit?

Fuck this film.

I just think it's funny enough to catch on.

However, I am fairly certain that enjoyment of poorly-conceived popcorn movies, plus desperate defense of same in the face of all evidence to the contrary, demonstrates intelligence severly mis-used if not entirely absent.

He actually improvised that line.

We can't be too hasty.

I'M STILL PISSED AT THAT MOVIE WEEKS LATER AND WE FAST-FWD'D THROUGH 75% OF IT.

If you had a transformer turn into a BMW, is militant and salutes Megatron like he was a Nazi, could you assume it is supposed to represent Germans.

And if you had a transformer turn into a pink car, had it talk with a lisp and complain about the others transformers color schemes could you assume it is supposed to represents homosexuals?

So I think there is nothing wrong with people assuming the two twins represent black urban youth.

The second part, however, is that wrong? We are becoming a post race world (well, everywhere but here at AICN) so is the film making a racist joke on black stereotypes or are they make a legitimate criticism and joke at the expense of hip-hop/urban culture, which they might not like? Is it them channeling David Dukes or them channeling Chris Rock and his criticism of those who are "Keeping it real...real stupid!" I haven't seen the film but it is a valid question.

Apparently, the action scenes just aren't more memorable than two characters' dialogue that's only memorable for sucking. So Michael Bay fucked up the film. It happens.

Sorry, world!

I'll bet a future iteration of these movies will take that route.

I'm hoping GI Joe actually turns out to be the surprise hit of the summer. The one movie everyone is writing off. If it's actually good, it could take everyone by surprise and actually have some legs. It'll have the entire month of August all to itself.

And then the circle of life will be complete. The wannabe-Sommers will have usurped his mentor Bay. Like one Sith killing another and taking his place.

Would like to address the issue. Now is probably not the time to make any general statement, but am happy to answer specific questions if I can.

AP:"The only robots with any discernible personality traits, aside from bravery or antagonism, are the Autobot twins, Mudflap and Skids. These are shockingly crass and unfortunate black stereotypes, jive-talking fools who can't read and bumble their way from one mishap to the next. They are Jar Jar Binks in car form."

New York Daily News:"One sounds like Steve Buscemi, two others are offensive Amos 'n' Andy-style carbots,"

And thats just a small sample. I'm sure these professional critics missed Bay's subtlety...

Racial slurs disguised as "cute" children's fodder.

Contrary to anything WickedJester may think, we are supposed to PROGRESS as a society.

Then again, talking alien robots speaking in any slanguage that sounds like anything other than screeching metal isn't necessarily offensive.

Just stupid.

Either that or someone who should increase the dosage of his meds.

Well maybe if Bay didn't fuck up the designs by giving the transformers 50,000 different parts they would not have been so expensive.....

If the Transformer's designs were not so EXPENSIVE they could have had more scene time.....

If the designs weren't so messy and ugly then maybe people could tell what the fuck they are looking at.

Nobody wanted a blocky cartoon look... Bay shits on everything he touches.....

What no middle ground between Bays scrap metal shit piles and the cartoon .... what a waste.

http://tinyurl.com/mzr9k6

So you agree these characterizations in TRANSFORMERS are mis-placed and should be derided. They're unnecessary and offensively intrusive, since we've had them stuffed in our faces by MTV, BET, etc. It's the fact that the racist stereotype is prevalent, and quite often self-perpetuated, that bothers you. The racism, not so much.

You just don't like these stereotypes being derided as "racist" because you're tired white boy's guilt, or you're just toeing the Fox News party line, or you're just arguing to argue, or you don't like people to take offense because you think, in your infinite wisdom, you are the only one who can pass correct judgement on such matters?

Listen jackweed, if this site saved me 10 bucks or more for a shitty movie, or raised awareness for a movie I might've overlooked, its done its job and then some.

In actual fact, black comedians have been having the debate back-and-forth, very publicly, for a very long time.

If P Duddle hasn't been involved in the conversation, that's only because he's an idiot.

Spike Lee is constantly "approached about such...matter."

Now I get it. You want everyone to think you frat-boys are the truly persecuted ones.

Sorry. You're delusional.

That would be like criticizing a literary site for trashing the TWILIGHT book series while praising the work of authors who sell less than 100,000 copies, like Kate Christensen's "The Great Man" or Junot Diaz's "The Brief and Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao"

That is not to say Bay's intent was to offend.

Bay is such a stupid, ignorant, jack-ass, he probably thinks he's diversifying the franchise for the Katt Williams crowd.

Maybe that's WickedJester's point, too.

Racism is racism. The obvious bigots are just easier to go after. The ones hiding behind the "oh, I'm just mirroring a prevalent behavior in society" are the ones who are really evil because they are perpetuating something which even they admit to be wrong.

It's like a college graduate acting white trash and going to a NASCAR event or a Toby Keith concert.

"This guys is a straight shooter" the Dean said. "He calls a spade a spade when he sees one."

You can imagine that did not go over well with the black student body and didn't fill them with to much confidence.

Interesting response. Well, I have yet to see the film so I can't offer my two cents on the issue. However, it does sound like some of the film's "choices" are rather insensitive. And in a movie that's supposed to be about a war between ROBOTS, one has to wonder why so much appears to have strayed into such questionable territory.

It was times like this Bay loved life...how easy it all seemed, how little effort it all required. Loosening his grip from Megans sweat and saliva covered,, glowing ass he wiped the sweat and remnants of Peru's prime export from his upper lip..."Fuck this bitch can take a pounding" he though as her now red hot anus showed only the faintest signs of distress as just the hint of feces and blood covered his shaft; "I bet she's been doing this shit since she was 12...good thing I got her before that fucking Spielberg tainted her" he imagined as he gave an extra forceful lunge into her rectum, eliciting a whimper from deep within her throat.

The coke was really hitting hard now, and frankly the act of fucking yet another nubile flash in the pan had grown tiring...and so his thoughts drifted...he imagined himself now, not destroying the well used shit hold of his current favorite actress, but rather the typical fan. Oh how he'd enjoy it as they wailed...he thought about fucking them while shooting some practical effects; he imagined how startling effect of the explosions would tighten the sphincter of even the most rabid fanboy and Bay appologist, how he'd love to hit it hard whilst watchin his own films..and then it hit him..the ultimate fantasy...he though about Bob Orci holding down an Transformers fan from AICN Talkback while he rammed that piece of shit script square up their ass while jerking himself off, cuz deep down nobody pleasured Bay like Bay.

Grabbing Megans sweat and spunk drenched hair he yanked her gasping face from the pillows she had buried it in. Self aware tears of humiliation and loathing streamed down her cheeks then she thought of the real film fans, how financially raped and insulted they'd be when they saw TF2...it made her own sub human treatment seem pleasureable by comparison, and at that only the money made it tolerable at all.

With all the power and overblown visuals of his own film Bay pulled his cock from his muse...and as he stared at her gaping ass he loved himself right there and then...his steaming wad shot high, and in typical Bay fashion he thought...hung for a moment in slow motion before dropping with surprising heft right on the Bulleye on Megans Back...."That", he thought as he stared with contempt at the actress sprawled before him, "That really should have been for the fans"

I'm already seeing this, like millions upon millions of other humans on this planet. I can only hope it is as mindblowingly offensive as Massa says. We need a good giant robot comedy.

Needs an editor, but fanfuckingtastic!

There's a new Dawson's Trek post on this very site.

i mean shit, stare at megan fox, that will make at least 1/3 of the movie ok.

I can switch off the first one's idiocy for the better action parts because that's why you would watch a Movie about Giant transforming Robots who kick the shit outof each other.

But I trust the many, many reviews including Massa's far more than any of the few posters/plants parroting awesome! or trying to justify a blatant stereotype by sophistry or shooting the messenger.

If this Movie is so colossaly stupid as to relegate the fighting Robots to a bit part in favour of Bay's pathetic attempts to be "funny" and idiotic "plotting" then there is no concievable reason to see it in the Cinema.

I go back to Predator again (sorry), Hawkins was the least characterized of the group, yet he has more depth of character than the fucking Jar Jar twins. The fact that the most recognizable Transformer is put on the back burner in place of these little shits is mind boggling.

And Massa, when you're telling a guy to enjoy his pointed hat after he has been accused of racism, I'm pretty sure a case could be made for you tacitly supporting the claim.

Again, I will lose respect for anyone supporting this 'movie'.

Fuck this movie!

Unless I missed it and BOTH bots said it.

Not anymore.

As of now, I won't even give it a second thought.

if, and IF spielberg came to the set and wandered around and gave his 60-something sagely advice, i really doubt Bay wouldve heeded it. they are a part of two different schools of filmmaking.

Remember, he said he was looking forward to GI JOE more than this.

And GI Joe will destroy Trans2. People will slowly start to admit it as the years pass and Joe has ridiculous replay value.

You can't because you've never tried.

You're an idiot, and you're using my air.

Some people are glass half empty, some are glass half full, Masa you are really caught up in the empty part. All of the negative stuff you say is very true, the twins for instance were so appaling bad, that I look forward to seeing a tech savy fanboy editing them out of this movie, in some edition.

But there are some decent parts, i.e. the forrest fight was well done, smaller scale, knew who was fighting, almost anytime Optimus is on screen, Soundwave was done well, Megan Fox.

also why he preemptively clashed with the studios "for not promoting it"...sure thats the reason it didnt do so well...i heard that when T4 came out..sing me another coked up lullaby.

Oh, his TRANSFORMERS review?

I dunno. I usually stop reading his reviews as soon as he admits that roller coasters made him cry when he was little or whatever clap-trap he inserts by the second sentence to remind us all how important it is to let our inner child be our spirit guide.

His review of this, certainly, will be irrelevant. No?

If you don't like Masswrym's reviews, no one is going to force you to read them.

Seems to me, he's got his finger on the trigger of this one.

Even the few people who will admit they liked this have admitted they had to turn their brain-switch to the "idiot" position.

So, tell us again - why are YOU here?

When it comes to Transformers, there aren't many of those kinds of glaring moments where everyone's been affected with stupid syndrome. You may think the overall idea of Transformers is stupid and the execution bad, but there are few moments like the one I described above.

Degrees of dumb.

Jesus christ.

I hope he means that as in "Bots that Sam found", otherwise, that's equally as fucked up as Bay's characters.

Oh & Massa, it would be easy for Bay to "suspend night so he can show every capitol of every country in the world bathed in daylight all at once".

Major cities of countries are called "Capitals" with an A. "Capitols" are buildings, housing a legislative assembly. They could make every capitol look like it's daylight by, oh I dunno, maybe switching the fucking lights on. Here endeth the lesson. You're welcome.

http://tinyurl.com/2c6hbu

I hope someone nearby Heimliched you, though. The only death more embarrassing than accidental death by cornflake would be accidental death before removing rope from balls, I imagine.

You and I should make a bet about this flick.

But jusging from your other posts, you seem to be his little cock bitch, so you just wanna say anything to protect him. When actually, I quite like his stuff & happen to mostly agree with his oprinion of the film.

I was simply informing him of the difference in meaning between capital & capitol.

Now fuck the Subtitles_Off.

www.mymavra.com

Under no circumstances should anyone pay to see this movie. Everyone needs to boycott this piece of shit and tell others to do the same. It really is as bad as everyone says it is.

Technically, you can get away with that, in a Ron D. Moore ret-conning kinda way, like .."I meant Capitol buildings all along".

But morally, you would go to hell for such an evil trick.

Ret-con that one.

Sincerely, Massawrym's Little Bitch.

As for GI JOE, I fall under the "I want a more realistic GI JOE" camp. I am not asking for A THIN RED LINE or BAND OF BROTHERS, but give me RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARC and STARS WARS Episode IV & V level action. Shit, people forget that in ESB we had guys getting show with lasers, yeti monsters arms getting cut off, snow speeders getting stepped on with people inside them, and star ships getting blown up. Action and death, and it was still PG or PG-13.

If you wanna get anal about it, to be 100% right, you have to play the movie & point out every single Capitol building in all of the scenes, without studying what they look like first. Which I'm sure you can't do. I couldn't.

Then & only then, can you say with 100% vindication, that you meant the buidlings. Even then, everyone would know you didn't:-). But you could get away with it on a technicality.

LIke a rapist without a cock.

Ret-con complete. Now get back on your knees, puddin head.

And I'm the puddin head.

He got the speeling wrong & that's all. He almost admitted as much in his tongue-in-cheek reply.

Only you are obsessing about it. Because you're a puddin head.

Anyway, I count one ret-con each. Technically we're equal, but my intitial post was the correct one.

Jesus, say what you like about Bob Orci, at least when I called him a hack the other day, he agreed with me.

He doesn't have his own little bitch as a wingman.

& mine doesn't change the context. You know, sometimes, people should just say "Oh yeah. You're right. I fucked up." It saves a lot of hassle. Even Optimus Prime himself says "My bad" ;-).

I wondered what he meant by that, I was busy calling him a hack at the time. The temptation was too great.

Could it be that he really agrees that the movie's a POS? I mean, after talking for a little while on the other thread, (during which he seemed to be a pretty nice guy & I felt bad for taking the piss), he left.

He only came back when someone asked him, who thought up the robot balls etc. He said it was Bay.

Considering the fact that he hadn't been posting for a while, but returned only for that, do you think he maybe does indeed feel our pain?

Can't I just let him go because I am bored with him and because, as certain he is that he is right, I'm equally certain he's a fucktard?

P.S. I suck no balls, robotic or otherwise.

Some of my comments already on this movie have been scathing, the twins, the excess etc, we should never accept mediocre, especially with the budget he had.

But really it comes down to the type of film maker,the people they have around them and how open the film maker is to criticism.

I still believe some smart editing could make it a decent movie, well at least a fun one.

Even sick, even on meds, I can run rings around you mentally & verbally.

If that happens, remember one thing, I wasn't talking to you. You jumped into something that had nothing to do with you, like you did earlier to someone else, because you're Massa's new bitch.

Trust me, you wanna back off kid. Or it won't be Avatar fucking your eyeballs in 2009. It'll be the finger bone of your newly dead, yet still infinitely fuckable, Mother. The one she uses to wag at you & call you puddin head.

Except I'll be wearing her dress & shoving the aforementioned finger in your fucking eye.

the night is always darkest before the dawn...thank you james...thank you for giving me hope again this weekend.

Do they work for Bay?

Work for Paramount?

Brainwashed fans who can't let go?

Good thing they have homing device built in just like Iron Giant.

I also saw that "feel your pain" line...and I'm sure Bay had his cock deep into this script...but this level of suckitude goes much farther than Ball on Robots and a mechanical dry humping Fox...this is ROOT level suckage..and for that Orci must take some of the blame.

So..don't weep for him, if for no other reason than he is hackish enough to write a script in which FUCKING Robots Piss and fart for which he was paid an income the size of a small countries GDP.

Maybe because of the way it was rushed prior to the strike? Maybe the gaps were filled in by Bay and others? Who knows. Either way, Orci can't escape blame because his name is on this turd.

Brandishing your dick over a spelling error.

My momma uses a little bleach and wipes shit-stains like you away, easily.

You may be reading a bit much into my answers. I think I would elaborate to say that we truly feel for any fan that feels that a franchise that they love has been disrespected or done wrong.

His response was that after George Kirk died they, for some reason that seems inexplicable, rearranged the entire starship building process to build them in Iowa to honor George Kirk's memory. When I asked him if this was explained in the film he said no. When I replied that he can't just make this shit up after the fact and not explain it in the movie at all, he responded that I should have known because the salt shaker Kirk uses in the bar are shaped like the Starship Kelvin. When I asked if he was fucking seriously implying that salt shakers explain a large continuity shift he responded something like "Well next time I guess I can dumb it down for you." So not only did he come up with that completely asinine justification, he was fucking snooty about it. Feel bad for him all you want, but this is not a guy who gives shit 1 about storytelling, and he's rich for thinking that way. Trust me there are a lot better people who could use your pity in this town.

p.s. I also asked him if Spock Prime simply miscalculated when a supernova thousands of years in the making was going to destroy a planet and his response was basically "Yeah". So I'm just sayin this aint a rare thing with him.

But this shit...Balls...On...a...fuckin g...ROBOT! For Fucks sake man...whats WRONG with you? Are you emotionally and mentally stunted or something? Do you get your writing gigs based on directors pity and some Federal EEOC guidelines regarding the employment of the mentally handicapped? I mean damn guy...robots humping the leg of some girl? That alone is all kinds of god damned stupid!

I know you are just the writer, and can claim your hands were tied...but that dickweed Bay got these FULL RETARD ideas from somewhere, or at least bounced them off you...Lord knows he isn't THAT fucking stupid all on his own...is he?

Or to rephrase your question, how did they get their flying ship to fly? Do they build the space shuttle in space? Certainly the Enterprise is as advanced as the Space shuttle, no?

I agree that the that particular robot should behave better. But he is a bad, bad robot.

Tell me I'm not spot on in my treatment of Bay and this project.

Still...it looks a lot cooler, and makes more sense given the potential planetary lethality of something like anti-gravity propulsion to make it off planet.

Boborci:"And if you notice the Salt shaker in the diner, it is clearly the KELVIN, but perhaps that was too subtle for you. Will try to dumb it down more next time."

IndustryKiller:"As for building ships on Earth, a salt shaker?? I'm supposed to assume salt shaker = George Kirk Memorial Shipyard?"

Boborci: "The salt shaker thing is a layer to be discovered by those who care. With or without it, the story works"

maybe if I wear earplugs.

Oh & Subtitles_Off, I wasn't talking to you. You're a brown-nosing cunt & a fucking idiot.

Do you know, I pity smart Americans? Wanna know why? 'cause stupid Americans like you are fucking annoying!Because the poor fuckers have to deal with cocksuckers like you.

You say nothing, yet make an argument, don't come even close to winning it (because you can't), lack any form of with or intelligence, then proclaim yourself the winner.

Despite. Winning. Fuck. All.

My post (which wasn't even important by the way, until you got involved by being a little suck up), still stands. The difference between capitol & Capital still stands & is not a spelling mistake, but a mistake of context.

If I'm gonna read a review, I wanna know that basic things are correct. It's important, so I can trust the review. Like the AICN donunder guy, who called the film "Rise of the fallen". How can I trust the review if he can't get the name right?

Capitol/Capital isn't so important (you made it so by volunteering to be Massawyrms arse bitch, humiliating yourself in the process). But if you're gonna write a review, write it properly, that's my view, so I mentioned it, briefly.

You've got some Massawrym jizz on your chin. No, not that chin, the one underneath it. Cunt.

Fuck, Hollywood is wasted on guys like you. You make me sick...

Ever since the other week, when I posted about my heart condition & that my spelling etc was a bit shit, it's like I'm being stalked by fuckwits.

I'm still winning, but they piss me off. They're so lacking in self awareness to the point where they make the kind of point a 10yr old could make. No wit or intelligence or anything, just normal statements. But they think it's genius so they then congratulate themselves on it.

It bores the fuck out of me. Where's the sport in fighting idiots? It's like racing Stephen Hawking down the street.

Here...he is Bob Orci...writer of films we love to hate; out there in the real world he just another douchbag trolling for underage runaways on Hollywood Blvd. in a leased Aston Martin.

I'll be there, too.

Really dude...stop hanging out with Shia and Bay..that fuckin Coke has relieved you of common sense.

Cocaine = the 70s, greatest period of film ever. Scorsese, Friedkin, Schrader, Coppola, Robert Altman, DePalma...they were all coked up. And thank God for that.

Does it? I don't see a lot of ass kissing around here. But you're right that I use it to harden my skin as a kind of exercise.

I just like my negaticity a bit smarter than some of the dumb fuckers who show up lately.

TV Presenter: "Do you think Bob Orci is here today kids? Shall we open the box & see? Ok..let's have a look!"

"Ah! There he is! Hello Bob Orci!"

(Bob Orci waves puppet hand)

"What are you doing today Bob Orci?

(Whispers)

Oh, you're counting??

(Nods head & whispers)

"Counting your money??"

(Nods head)

"What else are you counting Bob Orci?"

(Whispers)

"Shit hack job movies about giant Robots??"

(Nods Head)

"I know, let's all count together..you can join in at home too, if you like".

"One...................Two. Two shit hack job movies about giant Robots! Yay" :-).

Christ man..get some self confidence...it'll help your writing.

And Cocaine is the wrong drug for Bob in his current state...It helped those guys because they were good and imaginative writers/directors to begin with; Bob isn't quite there yet....giving Bob coke would just send him into a fucking panic attack. I recommend LSD Bob...or if in LA try some PCP, you can score that shit down by the nearest Zankou chicken....who knows maybe running around Glendale naked at 3am with a chicken stuck on your dick my help you get some fresh ideas.

Dry humping robots...ha.

As for using it to harden your own skin as a kind of exorcise, I am saying you are a masochist or else full of shit.

Personally, I think you came here to gloat because your film is going to do gangbusters despite what the opinion here is. And actually there is nothing wrong with that. You are like a liberal Democrat on a bunch of Conservative Republicans on the day Obama got elected, laughing at our impotent nerd rage.

C'mon Bob. You can tell me, that is the truth isn't it? I won't hold it against you if it is. I'm just curious.

Trannyformers...guy dressed in disguise; Trannyformers...Surprise between the thighs.

Tell me that idea won't launch Bay into orbit and tap into a whole new demo to sell mediocrity too.

What possible justification is there, for having the characters so things like "Punk-ass Decepticon"? Really?

That kinda stuff isn't aimed at the fans, who find it offensive, so who is targeted at?

& you know what? It's a shame. I was watching the forest fight scene & I thought to myself "This could be a fucking great film, if they cut out all the shit & added more of this stuff." It really is a shame.

I'll say this...if you ever get tired of punching out scripts you'd make a hell of a used car salesman.

"Dear Bob, everytime I watch Star Trek, the lens flares make my cock bleed. Do I have Leprosy?".

What he is doing here?

Answering questions about his movies?

Try to promote a movie he produced?

Any questions about the quality of his scripts will be answered either in a vague manner, not at all.

You too Bob, it isn't personal, you are probably a nice guy and if you try REAL HARD, and keep at it...someday, when you sell out enough to never have to work again... you'll surprise yourself and find a real artist in that void of creativity that currently fills your skull.

I dunno if you're aware of the ridiculous manner in which Don Murphy was acting during the run up to the first movie, it got so bad he got himself banned from a major TF website because of his over the top abuse of the fans. (I was one of those fans, and if I'm honest, at least some of the vitriol I express towards these films probably stems from those confrontations)

So kudos to you sir, you seem to give as well as you take, and that, in my experience, is a rare thing in Hollywood.

How about robot torture porn

Fox can get dressed up and torture robots by burning their eyes with a blow torch ... while other Decepticons tentacle raped Sam.

Bumblebee give golden showers ....

Or maybe he'll just take the money.

I suppose a lot depends on if his steroid & coke infused, Army worshipping, Casting couch staining, megalomaniacal, super Human overlord, Emperor Bay really does walk away from it. I fucking hope so!

However, my question for you is what were the types of film you wanted to make when you first got into the business? What films inspired you to get into the business? And would you say that Transformers fits that same criteria?

I know it is unlikely that you would say you are only doing this for the movie, wether it is true or not (for all I know making a giant robot movie has been your life long dream), but I am curious if this is the type of stuff you set out to make, or if you are "forced" to work on this type of stuff because that is the way Hollywood works now (only blockbusters are getting financed nowadays).

**pats self on back for giving self such a stupid name**

I did mean every word though Bob! And since I'm in ass kissing mode, I REALLY liked Star Trek. And while I didn't make a specific connection between the shipyard and George Kirk, it was a simple enough conclusion that changes had occured because of the altered timeline. (I did however notice the Kelvin salt shaker, nice touch there actually)

I'm thinking of questions like mine: "What was your target audience for this movie?"

Or Continetalop's : "what were the types of film you wanted to make when you first got into the business?"

I mean, I realise that Conti's might make you cry, if you had intentions of doing something cool & somehow ended up scrambling for crumbs at the feet of a cunt like Bay.

If you did sell out more than me Bob, how much of One Cup + Two Girls was your idea?

Edward James Olmos makes it a point to work with Latino/Hispanic people, any involvement with him on anything?

(these questions are for me and MNG, the rest of you can piss off)

Our target was fans of the last movie. But in general, we don't think in terms of target audience, but more in terms of what's natural to the franchise.

Or Continetalop's : "what were the types of film you wanted to make when you first got into the business?"

When we first got in, we thought we'd be doing little independent movies like Sex, Lies, and Videotape, but as a kid I wanted to make Spielberg type movies like Raiders, ET, Back to the Future, etc...

With TF2 is it a case of Bay or a producer, saying you need to include dogs humping, robots humping someone's leg or Sam's mom high on pot brownies or is at actually you guys coming up with it, and do you have any say, i.e. "Sorry Michael Devestator's scrotum is where we draw the line"

There's nothing natural about the characters, because their personalities keep switching from the ones we recongise to your own creations & they don't gel.

Then you have your scenes, which also aren't natural. Even from the start of the first movie, it was pretty much writer's 101 stuff.

For example, you have a bunch of soldiers in a helicopter, each one kind of a cliche. One of them mentions his kid, one of them talks Spanish & talks about his mother, the one with the kid is specifially referred to as "Captain", just to hammer the point home that he's the one in charge. It was fast, cliched exposition. There to suit a movie that requires exposition, but lacks the time for it.

Why? Because the kind of people who'll mainly go to see it, lack an attention span. So a lot of the scenes are very inorganic. Not natural at all & it continues in that style all the way through.

You love BSG (one of the best shows ever) & you don't mind writing for a Bay movie? Fuck me, it must be for the money.

Saw it last weekend, 5/10 kind of movie I think, there are some good parts, especially for people who were fans of the cartoon, there are some appaling bad parts. For the reviewers that have no connection with Tranformers, think its a 2/3 out of 10, for most think its somewhere between a 4-6 out of 10. Certainly not good by anyone's measure when you think about the amount of money involved. But being as cynical as I am, from a studio perspective its all about the bottom line.

Nothing wrong with selling your soul out for Transformers level money. You can always use it to buy or lease a new soul.

To give you some context, I already earn twice the standard wage in Japan. As I'm probably never gonna be a multi-millionaire, triple my salary would make me comparatively rich.

But it would mean working at a private school in Japan, singing the ABC song & essentially being a pink dancing monkey. So I said "No".

You may not believe me & if you do, you might think I'm insane, but I truly believe that as a would-be writer, if Bay came calling, even now, I'd tell him to go fuck himself. Because I truly don't believe in his films.

Now either Bob orci likes Bay's movies (in which case he must be dumb), or he doesn't. Having read his words here, I'd say he isn't dumb enough to be a Bay fan. In that case it's selling out.

Of course, if after making shitloads of money you are still doing stuff like a Bay flick, you either do like his movies or you are just greedy, I agree with you there.

But you're right, what he does next would be the test. I mean even McG tried to do something with a bit more creative integrity this year.

Not much, mind you. But he tried.

Much as I have talked smack about the Orci/Kurtzman duo in other talkbacks, I do think Bay sours the equation. It's no coincidence that their worst work has been with Bay...whereas what they did with Alias was so much better. Likewise with Star Trek, which was flawed but highly entertaining and a fun time at the movies.

Bob...at least you're not at the level of Akiva Goldsman. Great to have you on the forum. I hate the Transformers films, though. I know you can't answer this for a variety of reasons, but I do wonder if what ended up on the screen truly exceeded your expectations for this film. Did it match the vision you and Alex saw in your heads? Do you think a more storytelling-oriented director (say, Peter Jackson or Bob Zemeckis) would have fared better with the material? I know it can be understandable to get defensive because this is, after all, your baby, but do you see where many of the reviewers are coming from? Cheers.

Also who were the Decepticon Balls modeled after? Megan Fox or Key Grip - Les T. Tomita?

I wonder if he'll answer your question though. That's the kinda question that can get a man fired!

Which one was your favorite toy?

Probably get a bunch of, what toy? responses though.

If characters have been popular for so long, it's obvious that they work. In fact, if I had the job of writing those movies, the chances are, I'd be far more confident making them as much like the succesful characters as possible.

Is it a need to put your own stamp on it? Because they didn't need to be changed. So why?

& while I'm here ONE BIIIIIIIG QUESTION...............

Bumblebee has a voice at the end of TF1. It's gone again in the sequel. How?

How does that feel to be working with such a concept that the great Orson Welles had once worked with? Is the idea of Unicron ever brought up in meetings, and quickly shut down because of fears of the comparison? What do you think Orson Welles would say about the final film if he were alive today?

If I had only known then his magnum opus was yet to come, robotic scrotum in tow...

Well he did give us the Ring..... which I guess was good if you were a 12 year old girl and got scared by the site of Brian Cox.

Hard to answer in a way because the process in this one was so different. From the day the strike ended to the first day of shooting was exactly 3 months or something, so we had to be generating pages every day and giving them to Bay and having him add his two cents and simultaneously prep the movie, and then giving us notes and us generating more pages etc... And then we were on set, and then we were with him endlessly in the editing room rewriting the movie some more... so it's not like in some cases where you just hand off a script and don't know what happened to it until the movie comes out and you wonder how it got from A to z. We're with Bay every step of the way fighting the good fight.

http://tinyurl.com/m8vs67

Anyway, you guys have to read this review. My homepage is msn .com and as the central news item is their new review for Transformers 2. I encourage you to go take a look, but here are a few lines:

"And, to deal with the token objections of the film's defenders, I have an inner child; he's just not an inner idiot. And if how much money something made had any correlation to how good it actually is, doctors would recommend you get more cocaine instead of more leafy greens. And no, I can't shut my brain off and have fun, anymore than I could rip out my tongue and enjoy a meal, because my brain is where I feel fun. And I could talk about the plot and characters and performances of "Revenge of the Fallen," but why should I care about those things when it's so clear that Bay doesn't?"

"The action is badly cut, confusing and incoherent, with no sense of space or distance or dynamism aside from close-ups of brutal blows and long shots of explosions. The effects are either too swift to be truly seen (Wasn't one of the pleasures of the Transformers toys slllllllowly ... clicking ... each change into place?) or so phony you can't bear to look. "Revenge of the Fallen" isn't good; it's just expensive, and while Michael Bay can't tell the difference between those things, a reasonably intelligent person can."

"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" is not as bad as "Transformers"; somehow, in the face of long odds, it is actually worse. Where the first "Transformers" was clumsy, "Revenge of the Fallen" is paralyzed with its own stupidity. I literally could not stop laughing out loud during "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" -- not at the moments intended as comedy, which are not funny in any way, but rather at Bay's superhuman ability to look at his own film and not see that it's nothing but broken bits, desperate distractions and empty explosions. (I can imagine Bay braying "Wonderful! Cut! Print!" after every scene regardless of its quality, Ed Wood with hundreds of millions of dollars, not just hundreds.)"

"If you tell me you loved "Revenge of the Fallen" -- really, truly, loved it without reservation or complaint -- then you've essentially told me you can't tell something from nothing, good from bad, craft from cost. The best thing about "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" is that it's perhaps the funniest movie of the year. The worst thing is that ticket-buying masses will shower stupid spectacle with success one more time because they don't want, need or expect anything better from big Hollywood."

Is TF2 one of the low points of your writing career because your name is on the credit, judging the execrable reviews of the movie?

Is the final product result of TF2 entirely the fault of Michael Bay and the producers - and you regret having contributed to a story that ends up being relentlessly butchered by the filmmakers, but resign to the fact Hollywood works just the way it is?

By the way, I hated Star Trek re-booted. IMdb.com removed my negative review of the movie, twice, for calling the movie a tedious revenge yarn ripped off from a Final Fantasy video game with reference to director's "coke-snorting" for using lens glare visuals to obnoxious effect. Try imitating Shakespeare and rise above the crap. You're lucky to have made it to a lucrative screenwriting career, because even your recent movie scripts would end up being tossed into the trash bin by studio script readers were it not for your lucky break. Hollywood bigwig idiots sure have short attention span and they need hack screenplay lackeys as slave chimpanzees with half-functioning typewriters.

But some of you seem to relish in peppering your posts to BobOrci with as many insults as possible. One of the very few Talkbackers (ie, the only one without a blackbox) who everyone knows is a real person and not some anonymous troll on the other end. Its just asshole behavior. Its definitely not professional. And honestly, it makes me disappointed in a lot of you. Dark Shite did it right. He insulted and joked and when he realized BobOrci was the real deal, he cut back and became civilized. I'm surprised many others of you can't.