Really, did you expect to be dazzled by a 100% increase in quality for the sequel?

Its like deja vu all over again.

HATERZ..ASSEMBLE!
APOLOGISTS...UNITE!

THE POWER OF BAY COMPELS YOU!

THE POWER OF BAY COMPELS YOU!

THE POWER OF BAY COMPELS YOU!

THE POWER OF BAY COMPELS YOU!!!

http://tinyurl.com/maximushood

It's the shooting of the battle scene in Ridley Scott's Robin Hood.

This shit just got *real*.

I FUCKING HATE PRODUCT FILMMAKING! FUCK IT!

Better?

Oh wait, Assimov hates Bay and his BAYFORMERS!

Nevermind!

He could be my hero if he would admit publically that he has no respect for audiences and was just trying to make the trailer possible. I could respect him for taking money from braindead idiots.

i am a hater, and not only will i not pay to watch, i will spread my message of Bayformers hate as far as possible.

But I do get a kick out of these TRANSFORMERS Talkbacks - they were the source of some of AICN's most spirited "debates" and a beacon for full-on geekdom. So, if I come off looking a bit like a cheerleader, it's only because I'm trying to rally people back to that frenzied state.

So say we all.

This movie appeals to the lowest common denominator and I've come to the conclusion that some human beings are smart but but the human race as a whole is idiotic.

I can respect someone who can admit that and still say they like the movie, but I will never respect someone who says "check your brain at the door" and then calls me a snob for hating Bay and his shitfest films.

Is it really snobbery to have hoped for Raiders when I saw Indy4 and then hated Indy4, should i have turned off my Raiders loving brain and just accepted and enjoyed the absolute atrocity/stupidity that Indy4 is, especially in light of the fact that it shares its pedigree with Raiders?

"Turn of your brain" is synonymous with "I am a retarded jackass who deserves to have Bay shit in my mouth."

You know how annoying it is to suggest that these terrible movies are above what we know as objective criticism. If you don't like the movie, you are automatically a pretentious prick that doesn't like action movies. There is no room for subtlety. The movie should be 100% review-wise, or else you didn't watch it properly. *eye roll*

I'm a genius. They need to hire me as a creative consultant.

GET ON THAT BAY YOU GOT TO GO BIGGER NEXT TIME!

oh, and the hour of brutal robot action will be shot with a shaky cam, and quick editted to the point where the robots wont be recognizable as robots. they will look like whirling tornadoes of scrap metal. it will be pure visual noise.

fucking awesome.

The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent robot acts. They're a little too Michael Bay."

The Bumblebee says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us."

The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look."

The family lines up and Ratchet paws Jazz which then begins to play some current, overexposed rap song.

In time with the music, Optimus powders up his hand with a tube of motor oil found in his right breast flap and back-hands Bumblebee with the force of a Tyson knockout. Oil flies from the mother's mouth and splatters across Jazz, who in turn, like Optimus, bitch slaps Ratchet with the same gusto.

Optimus takes Jazz by arms and begins to force feed his metallic cock down his throat, his eyes tear and her nose begins to bleed and the room is silent except for her high-decibel gags. Bumblebee then grabs Ratchet and knocks him to the ground with a swift kick to the taint and pins his arms behind his back, lifts up his front flap and begins using his mouth as his urinal. Piss backs up in his throat and begins to pour out of his nose. Optimus pulls his pruned cock out of Jazz's mouth and grabs him by his mouth and his dirty starfish and dwarf-tosses him across the room into the wall.

Yadda, yadda, yadda, THE ARISTOCRATS!!!

EXPLOSIONS!

ROLL CREDITS

Ho ho ho - talk about circular idiocy that will make your head fucking spin!

Fans praise for Bay for taking Devastator and reducing him to comic relief and background fodder!

Want to see the real Orci? Then go right ahead and waste your $12 bucks swallowing this cinematic equivalent to retard spunk.

Look at what a great job 3 writers did for this movie!

The American Public is soooo goddamned stupid. Of COURSE this shitfest is going to explode at the BO.

Based on summer 2009, they arent even trying anymore. and the worst part is they dont have to.

Until they get the Blue Ray and watch it in slow mo 8 billion times.... they won't able to decipher what they just saw.

I saw TF once and that was enough to know its shit...you know, like the stuff on the tip of my dick after giving your Mom hard anal.

I LOVE UGLY ROBOT TOYS

Sounds like my reaction to the first one: by the end of the film I found myself wishing I had a button to end the human race.

Jon Turturro is funnier this time around (and did the voice of Jetfire, surprisingly), and the first ninety minutes were great, especially the scene in the forest. It just loses all of its energy. Disappointing, but hell, it's better than that piece of shit Wolverine movie. That's the stupidest movie of the century. Compared to that, Transformers 2 is Goodfellas.

two, gold buck toothed, mongoloid, jive ass, racist, cussing retardobots of his creation!

Have at you!

Well, some of us anyways are happy w/ that. Whirling masses of CGI Metallic BOOM!

Works for me. And it has Giant Robots, too!

PS: I'M A PRIUS AND I JUST RAN OVER YOUR CAT TOO.

Honestly, I didn't much care for the first one, but it delivered all that mattered: robots beating each other up. That's what this one will do and that's why those who are in the right theater watching it will be pleased and it will make bang-ups bucks.

Bay declared greatest director of all time!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you ready? BIG FUCKING ROBOTS are here once again.

I couldn't work out what was happening in half of the action scenes & as most people have mentioned, the "humour" was atrocious. It also suffers from Bay's inventions (in other words, all the needless Shia & military stuff that has fuck all to do with Transformers. & Optimus Prime still has a face like an old woman's vagina. Trust me, I know;-).

Some of the fights were a bit better though. I think maybe Bay has actually been watching the old cartoons & tried to at least give them a bit of the old cheesy feel, with Optimus Prime duking it out. Other than that, if you didn't like the first one, you won't like this at all.

i assume this is more of the same.

Transformers fans are people whose brains need no switch, because their brains don't function.

Optimus Prime is a greater hero than Jesus. Only a complete dickwad would say that, and he would never say it in front of his parents or anyway else whose respect he desired.

You people are the worst kind of idiots.

Most of all, it should be pointed out that they've been NEEDLESSLY changed.

By that, I mean changed for no other reason than Bay & his hack writers were arrogant enough to think "We don't like those characters, so we'll just change them." In which case, what's the fucking point?

FUCK THE CRITICS!!!!! BAY HAS 200 Million DOLLAR BANK ACCOUNT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heh.

"Subtext!?! Characterization??!??? Emotional involvement !?!?!? What the hell is this crap??" He'd roar, demanding the script be sent back to the table for extensive rewrites and loads of robot pissing, humping, and pop culture phrases like "My bad" and "Damn I'm good" thrown in.

so this is how the brainless sheep of the world view life! wow, i envy them. i wish i could enjoy being spoonfed shit. its like they are stoned 24 hours a day!

Fact: Bay encourages excessive ad libbing and overacting from his actors (when his not making them cry) Spielberg praise Bay for " finding the comedy in a scene.. that wasn't on the page"

Pretty much the whole final fight scene

Megatron vs Prime

All wasted on zoomed in, blurry, shaky, close ups.

You can feel sorry for me if you want, but it'd only end in me telling you to man up.

It seems that Bay actually has full story control. He comes up with the story, then gets hiw writers to fill it in & makes them re-write it until he's happy.

So if there's a shit joke in his movies, he probably demanded it.

Bayformers is to Cinema what Jessica Simpson is to music...it is art to people who can't think beyond their next reflexive, instinctual urge...it is fodder for the lowest common denominator...it isn't even fun, or inventive it is just insulting and stupid. If you like it good for you..you are easily entertained. But I ain't putting cent one in Bay or Orci's fucking pockets.

Yeah, it's frustrating.

I do however, like Transformers (at least in a nostalgic way) & I like the odd moment in the movies that feel like Transformers, but those are few & far between.

I would never go so far as to say I liked the first movie. I didn't especially like the sequel either. It is what it is, brainless fun. Spectacle.

It'll be like the first one in my memory. In 2 weeks time, the good bits will be forgotten & only the bad parts will stand out.

Especially the part that I won't spoil too much, but it's in the trailer, with Prime getting the shit kicked out of him. That was really old school, albeit the look was different. It just FELT like Transformers.

Those are the bits I enjoy. Like the bits in Bond movies where he acts like a sadistic prick. That's the character. I don't mind sitting through drivel as long as the good bits are cool.

You're retarded and both myself and your dead mother agree you need to be medicated.

Also, Brett Ratner has confirmed he will be returning for X4.

Suprisingly ScriptGirl forgot to mention that Fox bought Uwe Boll's script for AVP3, he is rumored to be directing as well.

**CUE Bayformers fanboys cumming in their pants**

Mmmm zingers...

That's quite a confession.

Too much info, but at least you're comfy with your sexuality.

There is not & never should be a reason to talk about what you learned in your Masters & relate it to Transformers. Or relate it to the audience experience of Tom Hanks' "The Terminal".

Even the biggest Transformers fans surely realise that theoretical discussion is wasted on a TB about giant robots.

what is there to complain about--it is not trying to be (or supposed to be) anything more than it is.

Glad to see those years of "Taking it up" during your Masters, was just youthful abandon! Maybe you saved sperm that way, hence the five kids in 7 years.

You only get a bucket & a half, as they say.

Transformers is the PomPoms of junk food...those Puffy,Pink, 10yr old coconut encrusted piles of preservatives and cancer that only the lowliest, fattest, most base section 8 housing for life, EBT card waving degenerates of society buy.

Fuck...the 5 yr old Beef Jerky the Sikh guy behind the counter begs you to take for free just so he can clear counter space is a better snack than any Bayformers film. I'd rather watch Indy 4 again than give Bay/orci a penny for this shit! And I never thought I'd say that.

This thing will make bank no doubt...people who will pay to see this don't know the value of a dollar hard earned anyway, as a good 80% of them live at home or are on the dole. I don't have a clue why someone who has the $ to own a computer, such as you, would pay to see this. Come on man...don't you deserve better?

Orchestrated by the Government!

Paul Blart Mall Cop > Transformers

Lets face it...3 years ago Megan WAS the target audience for a Bayfest. The girl was living in a fucking TRAILERPARK, stealing her moms car, and blowing anyone she could to get acting gigs...including this one reportedly.

Now...2009.. .she is in EW telling the world " working with Michael Bay is not about an acting experience."; "If I'm still making Transformers five years from now, I might not be so überexcited";"Sure. I mean, I can't shit on this movie because it did give me a career and open all these doors for me. But I don't want to blow smoke up people's ass"

Refreshing honesty from someone who was lowest common denominator a few months ago.

“I don’t know if this movie’s about the story. I don’t know if anyone’s going in and trying to analyse the story and if they are, then fuck them for trying!”

“We’re not trying. We’re not pretending this is a story-driven film. It is what it is. Everybody just shut the fuck up and go have fun. It’s not meant to change your life. If you don’t want to see it, then don’t fucking go and pay for it. Stay home!”

To read the full interview, check out the next issue of Total Film (156), on sale in UK shops from Wednesday 27th May.

http://tinyurl.com/rcwv b7

It doesn't seem Bay's trademark style is going over so well with the people who defended the first one.....

lol

True Story

He said: "The movie is [Bay's] best film. He's getting better as he goes. He is attempting to do different things. He sticks with the same formula, it's proven. He's not the only one to do that. The most important thing a director can do is establish a style. Michael Bay has a definite style."

"I can tell you what I gained from Michael Bay's films. It's escapism."

He compared Revenge of the Fallen to John Ford's classic historical yarn Young Mr Lincoln, and said: "There's a bit of John Ford in Bay, and then there's a bit of like, f**cking Looney Tunes, you know?"

Shia went on: "I don't know of anybody that shoots action like Michael Bay. Nobody shoots women like Michael Bay. He is shameless about it. And the world wants that. Middle America wants the shameless, exploitive, escapism film. That's what they want. They want big, bad, sexy and fast."

http://tinyurl.com/lzvop3

Steven Spielberg's eighth film was Raiders of the Lost Ark, Raiders of the Lost fucking Ark motherfuckers, with truly great cinema like Jaws and Close Encounters already behind him, and nowhere at any time has anyone had to defend Steven Spielberg for anything...except his choice of directors for the Transformers films.

Took him back to my place and he cut my grass, trimmed the hedge, washed the car....

However, its still well worth seeing....

Megan Fox & Isabel Lucas are HOT!!!!!

ILM own around 51 mins of this movie with their eye candy VFX.

Sound FX are amazing, really deep bass which made the cinema shake & made the speakers chatter (new cinema as well with latest sound system).

Sam's parents are in it more and are pretty funny in places, especially the crazy mum!

Shia is not that annoying at all and neither are his sidekicks Simmons & Leo.

Action + explosions are this time instead of any real story or exposition. A new low in story telling. Before fans said not enough robots so this time they give you waaaaaay more robots and waaaaaaay less story.

Real world locations in the 2nd half of the movie are stunning.

If you hated previous Bay movies then you will hate this one.

If you want 2.5 hours of pure popcorn/adrenaline fueled mindless sci-fi action adventure then this is the movie for you. So much in it you will be watching this in a year for the 20th time!!

No doubt it will be the biggest movie of the year by a long way as young kids & teenagers will see this a lot at the cinema in the next 3 months.

In closing...FUCK YOU.

What a complete load of hogwash. It's just a cheap rationalization to justify a piece of shit film. The movies that are truly fun and entertaining have something to them - charm, heart, humour, cleverness, layers - whatever combination of these. It doesn't mean you're expecting Shakespeare, you dolts. It means that somebody took care in constructing a film that was layered, a film where the pieces fit together. It's impossible to check your brain at the door, because if you have half a brain you won't even be entertained, in spite of the spectacle. At an emotional level, it *feels* hollow, it feels like a waste of time. Unless you're a 16 year old Middle America moron, in which case, you have graver problems to deal with.

When you watch a summer blockbuster that is actually fun and entertaining, like Iron Man or Ratatouille, you're not thinking cerebrally, you're just having a good time. But that's because the filmmakers treat their craft with respect, instead of saying, "fuck it, this is just a summer action popcorn flick." They aspire to be better than that, which is why they are...even if it's "just entertainment".

You're saying it's ok for sequels to have "no plot". As if it's obvious. Clearly, you're a genius. I don't care if the characters are robots or aliens or talking animals....make us care about them. Make them characters. How many times have we found ourselves caring about a robot, or a dog, or a cartoon mouse that talks? Hell, Steven Spielberg made a fortune because he was able to make audiences care about a squat alien with a head shaped like a piece of brown shit. Because he became real for audiences, they felt it. Alternatively, Spielberg could have followed your advice verbatim and thought, "Really? Am I going to argue the merits of a stupid movie about a little weird alien dude? How far am I going to go with this?" and just settled.

ha ha ha ha ha ha ha... sob sob sob... Dude, I honestly don't know whether to laugh or cry.

To the guy who took his 7 year old son to the film, I say this...

Cool. You get it.

It's the same as the notion that children have to only eat hot dogs and fries because that's the "children's menu" and we train kids to believe they can't appreciate anything else. Bullshit, when I was a kid, I loved burgers and such, but was enjoying other kinds of foods as well....

Of course, I think Transformers 2 will be fine for YOUR children, because if daddy is a fucking idiot, junior is bound to be a retard as well....thus, low expectations are set all around.

Screenwriters Describe Post-Strike Scramble to Make “Transformers” Sequel

By Michael Cieply The Carpetbagger NY Times

Speaking on a panel at the BotCon convention in Pasadena on Friday, the screenwriters Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman gave fans an intriguing glimpse into some behind-the-scenes panic caused by a three-month writers strike that began in November of 2007. Two weeks before the strike, Mr. Orci told listeners, he and his partner were asked to crank out a quick, 20-page outline for a sequel to “Transformers,” which had turned into a huge hit for Paramount and DreamWorks after its release in July of that year.

According to the writers, the studio, producers, and the director Michael Bay began prepping the sequel based on that outline, even while the strike wore on.

When the strike ended in February, Mr. Kurtzman and Mr. Orci were asked to get moving, post haste, on a full script for a movie that was already barreling toward the screen. But they were also lined up to work on the new “Star Trek” movie for Paramount, and a couple of other films that were all colliding because of the strike. So they hooked up with Ehren Kruger, a writer whose credits include “The Ring” and “Scream 3.”

For several months, said the writers, they were repeatedly locked in a hotel suite with Mr. Kruger, with whom they divided the work. Mr. Kurtzman and Mr. Orci wrote pages. Mr. Kruger wrote pages. They swapped. Mr. Bay dropped by once in a while to demand: “What are you guys doing?”

Next time, said Mr. Orci, they may just mix it all up and do “Megatron Vs. The Enterprise.”

Really? What's gonna happen? Will he call me a bad name?

Hating on Jeebus didn't seem to have much effect on The Romans. As I recall they kicked the shit out of him.

& the guy below you saying "Jesus rocks", you're damned right!

I'd be rocking too after a few days nailed to a bit of wood.

I think I'll take my sense of humour anyday.

You should write jokes for Micheal Bay. Or...do you already?

But my links work. Unlike yours. Silly little boy. Go talk about balls with your boyfriend some more.

Having my sense of humour dissected by someone who hadn't said a single funny thing in ANY of his posts? Fine by me.

It's like being judged by Beavis.

No 'tache for you today!

Rather than stealing someone else's idea.

You're not stoned afterall, just fucking dumb.

Sitting there, drooling & pointing like "HA HA HA HA HA! YOU FUCKING CLOWN! YOU FUCKING CLOWN!"

If brains were dynamite, you'd muster up just enough mental energy to blow your boyfriend.

I can still just about find the caps Lock key however.

Like I said, I'm stoned. It's night-time. I have an excuse, caps lock boy.

But where the cartoon show really succeeds is in its mythos. There's a real sense of weight given to the war between the robots and it actually feels like there is some history there. Tons of imagination that the Bay films completely miss out on because they decided to take it to Earth and focus on some cliched human characters so they could reach a more mainstream audience. It's a shame.

Two final words for you. I'll be very polite. Let's just say, the second word sounds like "cough".

The first word is "Fuck".

It is a very funny film but as others have mentioned hearing crack head robots swear is only funny the first few hundred times one hears it, by the films end and like 8 million swear jokes I was rolling my eyes, and trying to think how I could explain to my nephew why he can't see the film, his Dad hates language, so cheers M bay you made a kids film some kids cannot go see, your up there with Lucas and Revenge of the Sith when it comes to missing the point.

The point being of course pick a genre, its a kids film or its an adults film, this careens between both styles and a lot gets lost as a result, oh and not using Soundwave after promising too is unforgivable.

I have no problem with the human cast, specifically Fox and LaBouf, I find them both easy on the eye and pretty good at reacting, Sam's mum is funny and well used and the military does what it does, though the way the presidents advisor was treated was dumb and the 9/11 reference was both unsubtle and grossly unfair, I would give it 7 outta 10 and see it again, just at home and hi.

You know how when Kill Bill came out, it instantly made "bullet time" irrelevant? I know it was already a little tired, but Kill Bill ended bullet time for sure.

I'm waiting for a better giant robot movie to end Transformers the same way. I'd have to say of the Gundams, I prefer Gundam X, but Gundam Wing would probably be more popular.

We've obtained an email dated May 4, 2009 -- from Bay to Paramount head Brad Grey, along with a bunch of other Paramount honchos. Bay complains bitterly that Paramount's ad campaign for "Transformers 2" was tepid and ineffective.

"...I have been waiting, and waiting for the anticipation of an 'event movie' to make it into the 'public zeitgeist,'" Bay writes.

Bay calls the print campaign an "abject failure," with a "pathetic presence" in the L.A. Times. He's especially pissed about the profile of the movie on the MTV Video Awards, calling it "so lame."

But here's the best part. Bay name-drops Jerry Bruckheimer, saying Jerry always told him "a studio that does not make [the opening of a movie] an event.... will get bitten in the ass." He then adds, "Besides my good friend Steven [Spielberg], Jerry has made a lot more successful movies then (sic) all of us."

Bay then asks, sarcastically, "Is this is a cash issue with your company?"

Whenever Optimus is on screen it's always better, the fight in the forest was impressive.

Soundwave was suprisingly cool, the twins were bad, not quite Jar Jar bad.

6/10 for me, 5/10 for the wife

What you people are inadvertently claiming is that Bay is incapable of rising above such source material, thus shouldn't even attempt to try. And clearly, he hasn't.

If it's based on a property that deserves smears and disrespect, And the movies are not even close to any of the aspects that I feel gave it clout to begin with, then why would I want to see this?

From The Independent ROFT review

http://tinyurl.com/lqv97s

http://tinyurl.com/ngtwyl

On a side note I hated the fucking movie but Optimus Prime was realized very well in the first movie. He reminds me of our great American heroes from the Revolution; pragmatic, virtuous honest and true. Yet to see the second movie.

Best of all as the studios don't expect you to deliver any REAL films, and just want your to film tits, ass and explosions so they can peddle it to buffoons who pay for it...you don't do anything much at all...it isn't even like real directing work. Yep..I'd Love to be Bay!

Champion of the Dumb

You’re a master of cocaine and explosions…for everyone

Bay man, Bay man

Uhh ahhahh

It's just explosions and shit flying at the camera while Shia screams " NO NO NO NO NO NO" in his whiney, eunuch, tone. Even if you like enjoy it, admit what it is.

It's almost insulting to the audience.

the theater is dark

and cold

and there are gobs of young boys running about

i love trying to grab one by the arm but having him slip away

because my fingers are too buttery!

delicious...

Iron Giant

Wall-E

WTF, that's two kids movies with robots that are both intelligent and entertaining. But these are anomalies, there can't possibly be any other examples like say...

Batman

Spiderman

Hulk

Iron Man

X1 & X2

Indy 1-3

Star Wars 4-6

And finally a non-movie example. Glen Larson created one of the silliest television shows ever in 1978, and it was aimed square at the foreheads of children. Then along comes Ron Moore a fews years ago and creates one of the greatest dramas on television ever, sourced from silly kiddy fare. Battlestar Galactica you mindless fucks, my anti-Bay.

We hate Transformers because it is horrendous shit.

The point is that Transformers, as cinema, is worthless. When critics have to include "check your brain at the door" in a review, it's an awful sign.

Well I call bullshit, anything and everything could be approached with the same passion and audience respect that movies like The Iron Giant or The Dark Knight were, but instead the Bay apologists dismiss this as even being important. How can a lack of quality ever be acceptable?

Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of awful movies that I love, such as Commando, but I would never defend such as being great cinema, and yet that is exactly what I see throughout this TB in regards to Bay and the TF movies.

If you like this shit, fine, but stop pretending it's great, or even good for that matter. Love it for the shit that it is and stop trying to convince the rest of us that it's anything other than just that, SHIT!

What I don't get are the mental midgets that run around using the word "amazing" when describing this movie.

"Up" is going to win some award this year, and "Coraline" is going to be robbed. There is no justice because people have no taste.

awwww

Michael fucking Bay?

It must be hard to cope with your rage...do you feel let down and ashamed.

HAVE NO FEAR you can still lash out against the "HATERS" be sure to maximize your mocking sarcasm to the fullest and over analyze "haters" psychological behavior for your benefit!

Now I know you're trolling here kid, but I have to say you don't have the chops for it son. I would suggest you stay in the shallow end of the pool so your helmet doesn't get soaked. Remember tiger, that soft spot on your skull is prone to infection.

Now I dont know if the reason you can't spell is intentional or if your a public school student or English is your second, or by the looks of it, third after gibberish and pig latin. Your statement are not well thought out nor do they carry the sting of a good troll. Sorry champ, you fail, but your used to hearing that.

Plus Megan Fox.

And lots of Giant Robots. You gotta like it.

But note to Bay, titty bumps are better than ass bumps. Its a fact!

Schindler's List - $321,306,305

Dances With Wolves - $424,208,848

Braveheart - $210,409,945

This short list is for the next ignorant motherfucker (like ganymede) who suggests large box office sales automatically equals quality.

[on "Transformers"] Well, it's just, you know, listen, it's like...I didn't want to make the boxy characters, you know? Think about it, 30 feet in the air in the real world, just boxes, you know and it'd just look more fake, you know? And by adding more doo-dads, you know, stuff on the...stuff. Stuff on the robots, more car parts, and...you know you can just make it look more real.

I write my own action. There's a scene in The Island (2005) - a highway chase where a pile of train wheels fall off a truck and smashes into the oncoming cars. That thought came to me as I was driving next to a truck carrying rail wheels. My mind is very fertile, so I'm like, 'That's very dangerous!' I sent someone out to do research and found out those train wheels weigh a TON each . . .

Quentin Tarantino called me once. Someone had written 'Is Michael Bay the Devil?' Quentin said, 'Don't worry, last year they called me the Antichrist.'

I know [critics] have [been tough on my movies]. And that's why I've taken Jerry Bruckheimer's advice: I don't read them, I really don't.

I make movies for teenage boys. Oh, dear, what a crime.

I love it when people get really mean and call you a 'hack'. It's like, don't they see how well these movies are doing? They make an impression around the world. I met this guy in Bali who lives in a hut with a TV, and he loved The Rock (1996). That means something, doesn't it?

"Movieline" revealed in 2001 that Bay's father is John Frankenheimer. Frankenheimer, who always denied paternity, took a DNA test in the 1980s which was negative. Bay still maintains Frankenheimer was his father, and has countered that DNA work was less sophisticated at the time.

Intense slow motion shots of characters

Films often feature a US President giving a major speech before a major action is to be committed.

Has the camera moving during most scenes. Very rarely uses static shots.

(2001) His last 3 films all share: a) two male leads at odds with another; b) a cataclysmic event as the narrative's fulcrumic point; c) the film's lead female character has i) been a long-haired brunette, and ii) watched the film's climax from a control room

Actors/characters in his films are almost uniformly shot in tight, emphatic close ups, framed under the hairline and above the chin.

Often uses lightflashes (i.e. lightbulbs and cameraflashes) to enhance scenes.

Often has over-the-top visuals (i.e. key events taking place at sunset or dramatic events taking place behind actors doing routine activities).

Utilizes monotonic but intense musical cues during action-filled car chase scenes. Bad Boys II (2003), The Island (2005)

Uses shots of aircraft against a setting sun, especially helicopters (Armageddon (1998/I), Pearl Harbor (2001), Transformers (2007)).

Often features a slow-motion shot of an object crashing into, or tumbling towards the camera.

Uses a shot where the camera spins in a circle around characters. (Bad Boys II, Transformers)

Frequently incorporates scenes that involve characters running or moving towards the camera (almost always shot in slow-motion)

Big explosions

That emo goth chick that hangs around the 7/11, thats her right? $2.47, whats the big deal?

Michael Bay: "Shut the fuck up Ben"

Holy fucking shit.

He's the friend that gets too drunk at the bar with you, asks the bartender to show him her tits, gets you all thrown out, and then does it again at the next bar you go to and so on...

I love you gany, but sometimes I wanna punch you in your stupid head.

So say we all!

Popularity is not parallel to quality. Know what else posted over 700 million worldwide? The Da Vinci Code. And that movie was awful.

If you can't defend the film based on the film, and your argument relies only on the masses who tunes into shit like "dancing with the stars", you lose.

Those numbers only confirm that the world is ruled by retards...don't legitimize their reign my friend.

Are you people actually too deft to comprehend this? I think that might be the case.

Answer me this: Do you enjoy the Dora the Explorer? Do you consider that high art? Because that show is a fucking cash cow.

No..those numbers just confirm that the typical human has the taste and intellectual capacity of an ant. It is why NASCAR is popular, why Natty Ice outsells Chimay, and why Transformers sets records for dvd sales.

They could make 5 Transformers movies and it wouldn't put a dent into what she's brought in for Disney in merchandise, ticket sales, advertising, and box office receipts.

But when people go running around saying Transformers is "amazing" it denigrates the entire art form. That's what we're saying. So stop making shit up and putting words in peoples' mouths. Nothing good has ever come from that.

Number don't lie you say...well there they are...You are defending the Miley Cyrus of films.

Take your example of McD's vs the French Laundry. I get what you're saying, but it's apples & oranges. McD's is ubiquitous and a cheap quick fix....the French Laundry is expensive as fuck, it's very difficult to get a reservation, and when you do, you have to wait 3 or 4 months before you can go. So if everyone had money to go to FL, and everyone had the taste to recognize how glorious it is...the French Laundry would probably be unable to operate. So many people can't afford that, and if you opened a shitload of FL's all across America to meet the demand, the quality would invariably suffer and it would become a watered down mediocre restaurant.

So my point is...uh....ah...I forgot.

That said, I actually like Kolchak and agree with the solid points he's making. I just figured that part of being a Talkbacker is to insult my fellow forum dwellers as frequently and harshly as I can over trivial bullshit. Proceed.

Thanks for playing, though.

But this is all pointless because the people to which this point needs to be made are mostly fucking idiots. As is "irrefutably proved" by this talkback.

Look at it this way...if the bar on quality was raised..those things that are already good would have to find ways to justify their cost...find ways to again raise the bar even high..and therefore drag the bas up with them. Imagine if McDonalds were as good as a gourmet burger...would not those gourmet burgers then have to push themselves..reinvent themselves..progress to justify their existence?

Quality is good for everyone...pandering to the base leads to stagnation, and eventually decline as expectations are forever lowered.

Then again...if the typical TF 2 patron got to uppity...who would mow my lawn? hmmmm

On the plus side, I can definitely spell prima donna.

And enjoyed the follow up comments, i.e. in 1,000 years or so, someone will think Luke Skywalker was real.

Hopefully we are not so ignorant by then, given the literacy levels now and spread of information, printing press, mass media, internet compared to 2,000 years ago.

If you think about it in terms of filmmaking talent, it works in a similar way. God-given storytelling talent is incredibly scarce, which is why ther are so few masters of film. The same goes for music, you get loads of garbage, some mediocre stuff, a little excellent stuff, and just a sliver of brilliance. So in film, you have layers...you have your Scorses-type legends, then your Peter Jacksons and Chris Nolans, etc, then your competent directors like Martin Campbell or Sam Raimi...then you start to dig through the trash with Brett Ratner and Tim Story.

But in principle, I agree with you. Talent can also be developed and nurtured to an extent, and the masses can be taught over time, though it takes generations. But if they keep lapping up the dogshit, it just becomes that much harder, because the message is loud & clear. If the first stupid parody film by those "Meet the Spartans" folks had bombed, that would have been the end of it. But we have enough Middle America retards and stupid kids (because of a variety of cultural, social, and economic issues) who vote 'yay' with their wallets. So what can you do?

my screen name is Ironic name, trumping yours.

in short, I'm funnier, smarter, a better dresser, and probably better looking than you.

now go away.

You're clever.

Gany, I have to say...your enthusiasm for this flick is admirable. I hope you find that it's well rewarded.

Would be keen to see how the budget was split and what it was spent on.

Given Bay's penchant for excess, and bigger is better, Fox will need to get implants or at least CG implants for the third one.

Miley Cyrus made more money between 2007 and now than 99% of the other artists on the Planet...So by your own logic, that $$$=quality, she should be something INCREDIBLE/GREAT/INSPIRED. So tell me...is she, based on her revenue generation potential, fucking inspired; or is she, like Transformers, cotton candy for toe nibblers and bib wearers?

They didn't foucs on gigantic humanoid robots running around, but how all the college student looked like models and that apart from Sam's dad, 99% percent of the americans in the movie were in good shape.

On reflection and given my visits to the states when I have visited NY and LA, I get what they mean, and as my American friends have told me I didn't even visit mid west or the south.

But its still funny what some people focus on, in terms of realism.

Kind of funny to find two Talkback stalwarts like Hairy Nutsack and Red Ned Lynch in a TRANSFORMERS thread of all places!

Unfortunately, it's a film that panders to the lowest common denominator: the fratboys, the undiscerning teens, and yes, the retards. This isn't about blind hatred, it's about a love of storytelling and a love for the experience of going to the movies.

So a better distinction would be:

a) People with standards & an appreciation for storytellings. b) Retards.

Ok, ok. Maybe not retards. But definitely, "Members of America's cultural underbelly with crude, simplistic tastes and marginal complex thought." Or, "Folks who use hollow rationalizations to settle for less." Or maybe, "People who didn't read a whole lot when they were younger."

Any takers? Any guesses?

And yet, I would love to pork her young flesh like a rabid fucking mammoth in heat. Is that wrong? Does that make me a bad person? I mean...she's legal right?

Right?

The fact that ABSENT a GOOD Story, decent characterizations, a script written in something other than all caps with an exclamation point, and non-cliched cinematography this thing still makes Bank...I ask..what does that say about its CORE audience?

Don't worry friend...you are not alone here. I for one can't wait till the fame falls a bit and she cam whores on Stickum.

However...as a Disney shareholder...I hope that isn't too soon...she's really fucking good for the bottom line.;)

& on the basis that I said it looked like you were flirting with edgarwrightsarthriticstump by spending AGES on this TB arguing with him over who likes balls the most?

Man, that's just sad.

If it was good, I wouldn't brag about it. Nor would I brag about being called ironic_name. It's not like either are tough to think up. But hey, you & your "ball buddy" keep on being obsessed with me. I'm fine having a life & eating/sleeping while you rant away.

IN...5...4...3...2...1.. .

Saving Private Ryan - $481,840,909

Schindler's List - $321,306,305

Dances With Wolves - $424,208,848

Braveheart - $210,409,945

According to ganymede's moron logic all of the above movies are not as good as Bayformers, along with thousands upon thousands of other films that are superior in EVERY way to Bayformers but had smaller BO numbers.

But feel free to ignore my post about box office numbers again gany because you know I just destroyed your entire BO argument, and ignoring it is the only way you can continue making the BO argument.

In other words, you got pwned bitch ass punk.

I dunno why I feel so passionate about this particular movie, I guess it's the absolute moronic way the fans support it, such as gany's constantly repeated BO argument.

"Like watching paint dry, while being repeatedly hit over the head with frying pan."

"Like watching paint dry, while being repeatedly hit over the head with a frying pan."

As for the passions surrounding this movie, I think a lot of it has to do with Michael Bay's previous work and his tendencies therein. Either you like it or you don't. Gany is a little gung-ho about this one but I don't hold it against him. It takes a special kind of fan to praise Bay and then get kicked off of his message boards!

Conversely, there are a lot of shitty films out there. Why some people are considered cool and others are viewed as crap is a subjective choice. But, what do I know. I'm still waiting for someone to tell me why EVIL DEAD is considered a classic...

And here's a pic of the Prime model I created for the unfinished animation - http://tinyurl.com/2oedg5

I really need to do something with the Prime model, he transforms and everything.

Your argument is that Bayformers is good/great/whatever and you are supporting that by using ticket sales and DVD sales as proof.

My whole argument is that ticket sales mean absolutely NOTHING in terms of quality period, good or bad.

Great example, The Iron Giant was a commercial flop, but it's an absolutely fantastic film.

So let's recap, box office reflects only one thing, lots of people saw a movie or they didn't, and that's it.

Independent evidence - RT has the first movie at 57% and has the new movie at 38% - eat it

I'll probably put together a video of him walking around and transforming and such, he looks really cool in motion. Even rigged the eyes and mouth so I can make him talk and "emote", maybe I'll have him scream at Bay and ganymede. LMAO

Might have to ask this question once the masses have seen number 2.

A. he's mentally retarded.

B. he speaks in third person.

C. he changes into a Tyrannosaurs Rex that breathes fire. D. he owns Autobots AND Decepticons in every episode he's in. The canon is the cartoon. Everything else is Expanded Universe.

As someone else pointed out earlier, Paul Blart: Mall Cop was number one in DVD sales for a few weeks too. All I can say is that lots of people buy lots of DVDs, some good and some awful.

There's plenty of awful movies that sell loads of tickets and DVDs, big fucking deal. Titanic still holds the record at the box office at over 2 billion dollars, do you think it's better than your beloved Bayformers? It's certainly not better than the next runner-up, Dark Knight, which barely topped 1 billion dollars, is Titanic better than DK? (and if you say yes then you've officially lost all credibility, whatever's left of it)

So let's review, ticket and DVD sales don't mean shit when it comes to the quality or lack of quality in a film. People go to the movies and buy DVDs, how the fuck should I know why they choose shit like Transformers, it defies all logic and reason. People also spend billions of dollars on scat porn and rape fantasy porn DVDs, they must be the very pinnacle of cinema by your standards.

Star Wars Phantom Menace, had the phantom edit to exclude Jar Jar, might see that with this film in regards to the twins. Surely Bumblebee is cute and funny enough for the kids.

Think the blame has to be shared around, between Bay and Spielberg, the producers gave a huge chunk of cash to a guy who revels in excess. Not sure he was kept in check. Maybe the dailies, set pieces looked cool, but certainly lacked a complete picture view. Think some smart editing, could help out quite a bit.

Yay Bayformers!

I just read an article that said in January 2009 Mamma Mia was the top selling DVD of all time in the UK, the article said 1 in 4 homes in the UK owned a copy of Mamma Mia. Please explain this to all of us, explain to us how the sales of this DVD prove it's a good/great film, even if just in the UK.

**HINT - DVD sales mean fuck all**

it's science...

And Mamma Mia made over 600 million at the box office, 400 million more than Braveheart, which is the better fucking film?

You caused our pain Borci.

The only way you could feel our pain, is if a dog pissed on your leg or a giant robot said "My bad".

All of the above happened in my mind before I tortured you with it.

Nevermind, you don't need to actually progress to be a good writer one day. Why should you?

You can make shitloads of money writing a movie about characters you have no respect for, for an audience which you have no respect for, then retire by a beach.

Nice work if you can get it Borci! You should give me a job. I'm a hack too.

Failing that, I'd just sit in the dark, burning my money & cackling.

If that IS indeed the real Bob Orci, I was just teasing a bit, I actually didn't mind the film so much. It had parts that I liked, although it wasn't the Transformers movie I'd like to see.

I do wonder however, what is a writer's job, if the finished film is just a bunch of set pieces?

The job is different on every gig. The set pieces in this movie were in our outline before the writer's strike because we knew that production would not be able to make the date unless we generated that first. Ultimately, there are no rules when it comes to making a movie... the writer's power is different on each movie and it is based to a large degree on the writer's power of persuasion over the bank and the director.

People think the screenwriter just does the dialogue or something, but if you're really doing your job, you are coming up with the structure and the THEORY of what the movie should be.

I actually said at the top of the TB that I didn't like all of it, but I enjoyed it for what it was, a summer spectacle movie. & you do have Prime's voice down to a tee!

I really am a writer too, so I'm genuinely interested in that kind of stuff. It's all stuff I'm gonna need to learn if I'm ever gonna make a living out of it. Plus, you get kudos 'cause Star Trek was fucking good!

Of course, if you aren't the real Bob Orci, I just made a massive tit of myself:-).

You're not a hack man, you should know by now that we TBers can be a grouchy bunch. The fact is, you earn a living doing what I wanna do & haven't yet achieved,(albeit with a few more bodily function jokes). I'm in no position to call anyone a hack.

& like I said, Star Trek was good!

The tale of a man with a magic pencil, who uses said device in his job as a writer on movies about really big toys.

One day, he loses both his pencil & his thumb in a freak masturbation accident, which renders him hacky.

He's given 2 days to get his writing skills back before his coke-fueled megalomaniac director dips his feet in red matter & kicks his children's teeth through the back of their heads.

2) Regarding Mama Mia, you said you know it is good because "it connected with it's targeted demographic." Sorry, that doesn't necessarily make it good. I mean, Hitler had million of Germans fall in love with him, but does that make him a "good" leader? The handling of the Russian invasion would say no, just a popular and charismatic one. By your logic Citizen Kane sucks because it didn't have an audience when it first appeared.

Once again, you can like any movie you want, I don't care - but just because something is popular doesn't make it good or vise versa. Many people can have valid criticism about Transformers -just like you can have valid reasons for liking it. Lets just not reduce this thing to a simple black and white litmus test on film taste credibility.

Never mind, not long til Avatar, a story conceived and written by the director, who then goes on to invest years of his life into ensuring the movie is as good as it can possibly be. As opposed to knocking off any old shit in a few weeks.

My favourite filmmakers are Lynch, Kubrick and Woody Allen, but when it comes down to it, I can't really get much out of my home theatre system with these directors. Hence, that is why I love caviar AND cheeseburgers. It's important to have a bit of yin and yang or you'll never enjoy anything!

Lilya-4-ever is one of my all-time favourite films but it is fuckin' depressing! I can always rely on Michael Bay to help me escape dull reality. Well, that's when I'm not fuckin' high on acid...!

Every shot in his films is beautiful and fantastical, you've got to admit. And his quality control when it comes to CG destroys every one elses, just ask Peter "Fuckin' shit Olyphaunts" Jackson. Peace.

Also, while I'm a Star Trek fan & didn't really wanna watch the Muppet baby version, I think the way it was done was better than I expected.

They were gonna go with a re-vamped Star Trek regardless of the fans views, so to do it such a way that it appeals to kids, yet the original timeline still exists, was pretty clever. It makes sense & keeps the purists happy (despite the fact that in reality the old version looks to be over).

Besides, I was a prick to Bob Orci. I enjoyed it to be honest, but then I felt I can't very well keep calling him a hack, when he's a succesful writer & I'm an aspiring one.

Because his posts are actually pretty self-deprecating and humorous and there's nothing wrong with that.