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Mr. Longbaugh Hints At The Glorious Madness That Is Rob Cohen's MEDIEVAL!!

BOOOOOOOO!!! by D.Vader	Jun 10th, 2009 11:52:11 PM
Damnit. I swear to god I was going to make something similar. Fuck you Cohen!
Or should I say... "NOOOOOOOOooooooooo!!!" by D.Vader	Jun 10th, 2009 11:52:31 PM

Actually, Cohen, PLEASE make this movie by D.Vader	Jun 10th, 2009 11:54:38 PM
Because mine is different enough to not be called a clone. Just do it well so you don't fuck up my chances.
So they actually had vampire poison back then? Interesting... by Mike_D	Jun 10th, 2009 11:59:19 PM
Lame.
Oh and this sounds like a Paul W.S. Anderson movie. by Mike_D	Jun 10th, 2009 11:59:53 PM
well, it does.
He's been watching too much The Deadliest Warrior on SpikeTV by Super Rabbi	Jun 11th, 2009 12:00:24 AM

Not even this can be as embarrassing... by Kid Idioteque	Jun 11th, 2009 12:05:20 AM
as the trailer for "Gamer." http://tinyurl.com/orkwwp
boooo-urns by Jesiah	Jun 11th, 2009 12:05:24 AM
How is this guy finding work? does he dress in drag and offer blowjobs like the dude that did Die Another Day?
Viking is a verb dumbasses by Crooooooow	Jun 11th, 2009 12:08:17 AM
They were called Norse
They should have a montage of all the training by Jesiah	Jun 11th, 2009 12:08:30 AM
One movie with a montage of the training to become a ninja, "a knight, a thief, a samurai, a zulu warrior, a viking, and a few others" would be kind of interesting. If he gets jamee fux to die in this movie like Stealth I'll see it.
Kid Idioteque by Jesiah	Jun 11th, 2009 12:13:24 AM
looks stupid, but I hav emixed feelings since it has Gerard Butler and Dexter in it.
Sounds more like Ocean's 11 than Magnificent Seven by D.Vader	Jun 11th, 2009 12:24:50 AM
Go ahead with it.
A V A T A R. December. by Motoko Kusanagi	Jun 11th, 2009 12:29:22 AM
Nothing else matters.
World of Warcraft meets Ocean's11 meets Crank meets Magnificient by onezeroone	Jun 11th, 2009 12:33:11 AM
in other words, Hollywood version of Fantasy Mission Force.
Sounds super gay by TheExterminator	Jun 11th, 2009 12:40:48 AM
cue shit cgi and cohen lameness
So its not the video game by Series7	Jun 11th, 2009 12:41:17 AM
Whatever he sucks as a director.
Why risk losing the men before daybreak? by CodeName	Jun 11th, 2009 12:42:28 AM
Just wondering. If the wealthy man's treasure is so important to him, and he went through all the trouble to gather warriors from the four corners of the world, why give them all such a short warranty span? Are the treasure holders moving to a new location the next day? Why not use slower poison and give the guys a week to live instead? A day is no fun.
Well.. by CodeName	Jun 11th, 2009 12:52:50 AM
I hope they make it interesting.. like the poison effects each character differently as in physically, and psychologically. And maybe they turn on each other. Throw in poison, ego, medieval bigotry, different fighting styles and you get some interesting ideas flowing. Only if Christopher Walken plays the wealthy man, but he has to be mute the whole time.
This is the dumbest idea... by p0llk4t	Jun 11th, 2009 12:54:39 AM
..I've heard in a while. It'll probably make millions.
Sounds somewhat like ... by MrTeas	Jun 11th, 2009 12:56:54 AM
The Usual Suspects; but in a fantasy setting.
This sounds like the most awesome idea ever!!!! by syafiqjabar	Jun 11th, 2009 01:04:32 AM
On the same line as The Expendables. But it might be so awesome, most movie goers might not watch it. Like the time they make a movie about a spaceman helping Vikings fight an alien dragon.
onezeroone by Tubbs Tattsyrup	Jun 11th, 2009 01:18:09 AM
I certainly fucking hope so. FANTASY MISSION FORCE is awesome.
Historically speaking it's almost offensive but... by The_Ed_Carden	Jun 11th, 2009 01:20:08 AM
... this film does have the potential for some really cool battle sequences. This was obviously at least somewhat inspired by "Deadliest Warrior" on Spike, which is an awesome show
I was hoping it would be like that PS1 game... by OutlawsDelejos	Jun 11th, 2009 01:23:20 AM
The one with the retarded skeleton knight, thats about all I remember about it and I owned that game.
Language barrier? by Omar B	Jun 11th, 2009 01:27:57 AM
How are these warriors from far flung regions able to talk to each other? Cohen strikes again!
"magnetic hallways and pressure sensitive floors they enter the by CodeName	Jun 11th, 2009 01:35:21 AM
I guess the knight, samurai and the viking are pretty much useless when they encounter the magnetic hallways and pressure sensitive floors since they are in armor for one, and they each weigh a ton. Maybe their armor flies off their bodies Magneto-style and they have to fight their own armor haha.
Poison is so they dont steal the crown. by dailysportspages	Jun 11th, 2009 01:41:49 AM
They have to come back for the antidote.
by Hafsol	Jun 11th, 2009 01:46:56 AM
A Samurai, Viking, Zulu Warrior... and they'll all speak english!
dailysportspages by CodeName	Jun 11th, 2009 01:56:57 AM
That makes sense. But wealthy man sure has a lot of faith in the guys to pull it off in a day. He should give them a week to plan and scope out the place.
Christopher Lambert needs to be in here somewhere by CodeName	Jun 11th, 2009 02:01:52 AM

Sounds good to me. by ganymede3010	Jun 11th, 2009 02:11:43 AM
Now it's all about the execution. I have no faith in Mr. Cohen unfortunately.
So nobody has pointed out by The_Myhand	Jun 11th, 2009 02:15:07 AM
that, at least last time I checked, you couldn't INJECT anyone with anything in the Dark Ages....god this is going to be stupid..and terribly , TERRIBLY historically inaccurate. Oh, and they had magnetic hallways in the middle ages too? Damn, I must've missed that one. Rob Cohen, you are a talentless hack.
Hmmm by Daniel_Ackbar	Jun 11th, 2009 02:15:38 AM
Isnt this Soul Calibur? Sounds lame.
D.Vader by The Dark Shite	Jun 11th, 2009 02:47:40 AM
Now now, that's enough piss taking:-). I'm actually happy by the way. Not only does this sound pretty insane, but the my idea that I mentioned on the other thread pisses all over this concept.
There's a Tagalog interperter? by The Dark Shite	Jun 11th, 2009 02:51:11 AM
So they'll have Filinos in this too? Jeezes.
Fuck this edit button-less cess pit of doom. by The Dark Shite	Jun 11th, 2009 02:51:44 AM

This sounds like some rehashed crap by BatPsycho	Jun 11th, 2009 02:55:42 AM
im not very happy here with this news.
thank god, I always knew Ocean's 11 was missing Zulus... by BadMrWonka	Jun 11th, 2009 03:09:53 AM
what a fucking retarded premise for a movie. I'm surprised Stephen Sommers isn't directing this while jerking off.
At least it's not a prequelsequelreboot by HagCeli	Jun 11th, 2009 03:37:18 AM
but it sounds really stupid, I have to say. I can imagine the pitching session: "It's like, uh, Ocean's 11 meets Conan the Barbarian with bits of vampire hype thrown in".
It'a TJHE USUAL SUSPECTS in ye' olden tymes. by MaxTheSilent	Jun 11th, 2009 03:55:51 AM
And as written it's a lot of fun. Let's see if Rob Cohen can make this as dull as his other movies.
I geddit-Mr Longbough=Mr Longbow. by The Dark Shite	Jun 11th, 2009 04:28:48 AM
Oh how I laughed.
SOUNDS AS DUMB AS VIKINGS FIGHTING ALIENS by RICHARD_GERE_RAPED_MY_GERBIL	Jun 11th, 2009 04:59:02 AM
Wait a minute... that movie was awesome! I'm in!
Crooooooow: Viking is a verb??? by Monkey Butler	Jun 11th, 2009 05:23:37 AM
As in, "I think I'm going to do a bit of viking today"? Are you sure? Because that sounds fucking stupid.
Ha ha, Monkey Butler that's hilarious! by The Dark Shite	Jun 11th, 2009 05:30:36 AM
I don't know how I missed Crooooooow's comment. That's the funniest thing I've ever seen, espeiclaly when he calles everyone "dumbasses" for not thinking it's a verb. What a plank!
Fuck me.. by The Dark Shite	Jun 11th, 2009 05:32:43 AM
Either my new medication is strong or I'm getting dyslexia. My posts over the last few days have had some of the worst spelling I've ever seen. I don't think Viking is a verb yet, but it's worrying.
Just to prove I'm on meds & not retarded.. by The Dark Shite	Jun 11th, 2009 05:36:34 AM
Same again with the spelling fixed: I don't know how I missed Crooooooow's comment. That's the funniest thing I've ever seen, ESPECIALLY when he CALLED everyone "dumbasses" for not thinking it's a verb. What a plank! Maybe me too:-).
Boss Fight! The Movie! by JumpinJehosaphat	Jun 11th, 2009 05:58:09 AM
I can see the pitch session now....
That actually sounds like a lot of fun. by Mr Nicholas	Jun 11th, 2009 06:01:42 AM

I'm sure I'll Viking in line to see this! by D_T	Jun 11th, 2009 06:10:08 AM
With the injection and magnetic vault, does anyone else think there's likely time travel involved? Like the rich dude fetches the best warriors from their native land and time. (Of course with time travel, WTF is he dicking around with all this...).
I was viking my wife last night... by D_T	Jun 11th, 2009 06:11:15 AM
...it actually _sounds_ pretty cool, eh?
Wow. It's like a 12-year-old Dungeon Master just watched "The Us by judderman	Jun 11th, 2009 06:22:51 AM
and decided to make a campaign out of them.
ual Sispects and Escape from New York by judderman	Jun 11th, 2009 06:24:44 AM
and so goes the punchline
if the poison kills them in the sunlight. . . by fireclown	Jun 11th, 2009 06:48:38 AM
couldn't they just STAY underground during daytime hours? Bring this sucker on.
Ok.. by The Dark Shite	Jun 11th, 2009 06:54:48 AM
I commented on the fact that this Mr Longbough=Longbow. So they changed it to Longbaugh. Petty.
Sounds like a video game by beastie	Jun 11th, 2009 06:57:43 AM
and a bad one. Normally, I'm not one to lay the hate, but really this sounds horrible. Also, I saw this thing on Spike TV that said a samurai would beat a Viking in a fight 51% of the time. Just thought it was interesting to see the two mentioned again within a week of seeing that.
Woah. Also Mr. Longbaugh... by beastie	Jun 11th, 2009 06:59:18 AM
...good reference on the alias.
A Samurai.. by The Dark Shite	Jun 11th, 2009 07:06:37 AM
Would beat the shit out of a Viking 100% of the time. A Katana's so light & super sharp it can split a body in half with the slightest effort. The Viking would be sashimi before he'd had time to life his sword.
Lift his sword. by The Dark Shite	Jun 11th, 2009 07:07:37 AM
Fuck. E.D.I.T B.U.T.T.O.N!
isn't moonlight just reflected sunlight? by ironic_name	Jun 11th, 2009 07:25:45 AM
and the sun is a big ball of fire, if it kills people, then just light a match.
moonlight is relfected sunlight...but by Magic01273	Jun 11th, 2009 07:51:15 AM
...it does suggest "direct" sunlight. Plus picking apart the scientific principles behind a film like this is likely to be a pretty fruitless exercise....
SHOULD HAVE BEEN A C64 GAME IN THE 80s by spud mcspud	Jun 11th, 2009 07:52:58 AM
Sounds fucking awesome. Though if it's half as great as ELIMINATORS - which it sounds like a medieval version of - it will rule. You can't watch this with ANY cynicism, guys. If you even THINK about taking a concept like this seriously, don't even bother going into the theater. This is for lovers of truly demented movies ONLY...
Seriously??? by bee152	Jun 11th, 2009 08:12:03 AM
Every movie that is announced you people bitch and moan about it being a remake or a reboot or a prequel or a sequel. You complain about originality and this sounds pretty original. He's not the best director but our selections are limited as to who the studios work with today. Unfortunately their are plenty of Indy directors out there who could do a better job but we get what we pay for and keep paying for. I'm giving it a chance until I see the rotten tomatoes meter. Also VIKING is a noun or and adjective. not a verb. Unless the guy was being funny because of the -ing at the end. Then he's dumber than i thought.
The 13th Warrior by punito2k3	Jun 11th, 2009 08:19:12 AM
Come on! Such BS! Sounds like a knock off to me!
I can't see this being good. by Cobb05	Jun 11th, 2009 08:22:18 AM
What doesn't make sense is, they have to break into this fortress before dawn. But you know they're going to have to travel far and there's going to be all these battles, so they'd never make it in time. If Stallone was making this movie, it might be good. It does have a very B-movie, cheesiness to it. I just think that Rob Cohen is a bad director and the effects to his movies are always lame. I mean look how bad the CG was in Mummy 3. Him and Paul W.S. Anderson try to make these big movies, but they are as shallow as a puddle. I mean we're not asking for a P.T. Anderson movie, but just because it's a popcorn movie doesn't mean it has to be bad.
This is EXACTLY by Holy Hell	Jun 11th, 2009 08:22:56 AM
what I want Hollywood to be doing. I just vikinged in my pants.
I just vikinged a hole through my pants? by Holy Hell	Jun 11th, 2009 08:24:35 AM

yeah, folks... by omarthesnake	Jun 11th, 2009 08:25:40 AM
the language barrier issue and the way they sidestep it will keep this from being a realistic depiction of what happens when a Viking (NOUN, IDIOT), a Zulu, A Predator, a Thief, A Knight, a Sumo Wrassler, a Ticklemonster and a Wombat join forces.
viking (verb): by Holy Hell	Jun 11th, 2009 08:30:35 AM
"The act of a phallus becoming rapidly erect and tearing through any protective textile, typically brought upon a virginal film geek when anticipating a cinematic depiction of mythic masculinity he will never, himself, achieve."
Example: by Holy Hell	Jun 11th, 2009 08:35:35 AM
"After being bitten by a radioactive spider and assuming super powers, Peter Parker would never again viking a new pair of dungarees while reading Icelandic sagas, much to the relief of Aunt May's arthritic sewing hand."
Tagalong Interpreter = C3P0 by thedude2010	Jun 11th, 2009 08:47:03 AM

Reeks of Cheese by Robert_Downey_in_blackface	Jun 11th, 2009 08:47:19 AM
This sounds like a load of all kinds of crap. Each scene by itself will probably be okay but the whole movie together, a popourri of winners about to die in a day to steal a crown... its so contrived. Coming up with a random wacky fresh idea is good... this doesn't seem fresh... seems like someone shot the hamburgler in the head and left him locked up in a compost bin for a few years and then opened the top to see what was left.
Hmm.. maybe Medieval is a sequel to by Robert_Downey_in_blackface	Jun 11th, 2009 08:50:24 AM
Dungeons & Dragons? Anyone heard anything about this?
Viking by Andyb77	Jun 11th, 2009 08:56:26 AM
Actually folks, viking is a verb. The original use of the verb was "to go a viking". It meant to go raiding as they did. Danes, Norse, and Swedes never referred or thought of themselves as Vikings. That was a later convention like ridiculous horns on helmets.
Contrived by Andyb77	Jun 11th, 2009 09:00:26 AM
Putting all these warriors of different cultures together is contrived let alone the poison. The historical inaccuracies are huge. Zulus as we know them didn't exist at the same time as knights or vikings and neither did samurai as we know them.
yes, yes, Andyb, by Holy Hell	Jun 11th, 2009 09:04:17 AM
but that's the archaic definition. Today's descriptivist tendency in lexicographic circles has concluded that the modern definition of "viking" is the penis thing.
Rob Cohen by directorsaab	Jun 11th, 2009 09:09:28 AM
Dragonheart, Dragon, The Mummy 3, XXX, Daylight, they all have two things in common: 1) They suck balls and 2) Rob Cohen "directed" all of them. This hack is a retarded version of Stephen Sommers. With him involved, why bother? He has no idea how to stage an action scene, he knows nothing about character or story. He's in the same class of a-hole filmmakers like Ratner and Paul W.S. Anderson. I wish this project would find another director or just go away.
Andyb77's kinda right. by The Dark Shite	Jun 11th, 2009 09:44:53 AM
I'm not gonna put my War historian cap on, as I always end up having complicated discussions that I can't be bothered to have:-). It's both a Noun & a verb. Or rather the name stems from a verb, in the same way a jogger is someone who goes jogging. Really, Vikings are Vikingrs. Viking itself comes from a verb, but became a noun. They also liked to have sex with farm animals & sing "I will survive" by Gloria Gaynor.
Dungeons and Dragons 3 by spidercoz	Jun 11th, 2009 09:53:29 AM
Got your paladin, rogue, monk, shaman, barbarian, hopefully it'll have a story too.
Sounds like The Simpsons' verison of Zorro. by rev_skarekroe	Jun 11th, 2009 09:55:57 AM
Boo-ya!
Are you for real? by Bulvai	Jun 11th, 2009 11:06:26 AM

THERE'S ALREADY A DUNGEONS & DRAGONS 2 by RICHARD_GERE_RAPED_MY_GERBIL	Jun 11th, 2009 11:10:10 AM
It's better than the first movie. But not much.
The logistics involved by Tin Snoman	Jun 11th, 2009 11:48:55 AM
in getting these disparate characters together makes it unlikely that there will be the slightest attempt at any intelligence. But who cares when ninjas and vikings are beating the crap out of each other, right? Hell, I'd make this film just for the cash. Except I'm not sure I could live with myself afterward. Cohen has no such scruples.
Forsooth, 'tis "Ye Usual Suspects" by Guy Gaduois	Jun 11th, 2009 11:54:15 AM
Hitherto yon wealthy king is but making up a tale along the way - Kaiser Sez-Me.
The old D&D Cartoon by Mr.FTW	Jun 11th, 2009 12:17:38 PM
This sounds like a live action version of that old D&D cartoon on Saturday mornings in the 80's.
MI:3 was the only good MISSION film... by ccchhhrrriiisssm	Jun 11th, 2009 12:21:43 PM
The first was okay...but the third was actually very good. A fourth with Abrams attached could be pretty good!
Is that Portland's own Mr. Longbaugh? by I am the most horrible	Jun 11th, 2009 01:38:59 PM
Wondering.
Oh c'mon by TELF	Jun 11th, 2009 01:40:16 PM
You can't diss this hilarious concept - sounds like loads of fun. But, yes, Cohen is a problem - so proceed with the dissing. As you were, men.
Medival Script Review... by geraldbeans	Jun 11th, 2009 02:27:06 PM
Over at Scriptshadow: http://scriptshadow.blogspot.c om/2009/05/medieval-scriptshad ow-challenge.html
a knight, a thief, a samurai, a zulu warrior and a viking walk i by RobertBaron	Jun 11th, 2009 03:34:49 PM

fer fuck sakes by RobertBaron	Jun 11th, 2009 03:35:30 PM
a knight, a thief, a samurai, a zulu warrior, and a viking walk into a bar...
Viking by Hipshot	Jun 11th, 2009 03:50:28 PM
is actually both a verb and a noun. As in "who will go viking with me this night?" Meaning to raid from a ship, I believe.
What the hell? by Charlie_Allnut	Jun 11th, 2009 04:10:15 PM
Sounds terrible, but it could be B movie fun if done right...probably not though.
REAL VIKINGS ARE INTELLIGENT AND TALK by ebonic_plague	Jun 11th, 2009 04:45:12 PM

Um, wouldn't you just need the thief? by SID 8.0	Jun 11th, 2009 04:47:24 PM
Sounds stupid enough to get made. Completely historically inaccurate why not have them ride a brachiosaur too.
What the hell? by Charlie_Allnut	Jun 11th, 2009 04:48:09 PM
Sounds terrible, but it could be B movie fun if done right...probably not though.

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Mr. Longbaugh Hints At The Glorious Madness That Is Rob Cohen's MEDIEVAL!!

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