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Rob Cohen's Dumping xXx: THE RETURN OF XANDER CAGE To Get MEDIEVAL On Your Ass!!

OK, who cares? by SoylentMean	Jun 10th, 2009 09:16:44 AM
Just thought I'd share that thought.
Zombies? by SoylentMean	Jun 10th, 2009 09:18:01 AM
Aren't all the original cast of The Magnificent Seven kinda dead? I'm not sure how that's gonna work.
NOOOO by Crow3711	Jun 10th, 2009 09:24:22 AM
I so desperately desired a brand new XxX adventure to the max! All seriousness, XxX2 is the worst movie ever made, and Rob Cohen is a fucking douchebag. His medieval movie is gonna suck giant, medieval cock. And the XxX is gonna suck just like ever other franchise Vin Diesel thought he was too big for but now realizes he actually isn't even cool enough for. I hate this article.
Was the world asking for xXx3? by Rob0729	Jun 10th, 2009 09:29:49 AM
Seriously, just because Fast and Furious was a hit, are do they think xXx3 will be a hit? Does anyone think if Rob Cohen did that movie or Medieval that either would be good?
ROB COHEN IS THE BIGGEST HACK IN HOLLYWOOD by RICHARD_GERE_RAPED_MY_GERBIL	Jun 10th, 2009 09:30:41 AM
Say what you want about Paul DEATH RACE Anderson but you can tell the guy at least tries to do something before failing miserably. Cohen just takes the money and runs. Watch any of his movies and you'll see I'm right. The guy probably sleeps in a bath full of dollar bills instead of showing up on the set. He probably gets someone else to direct it and then takes all the credit for the lump of shit that appears.
lmao! bitches leave! by Count-Graham	Jun 10th, 2009 09:32:52 AM
clarence boddiger rulz!
IF I HAD A YETI by RICHARD_GERE_RAPED_MY_GERBIL	Jun 10th, 2009 09:34:05 AM
I would make it eat Rob Cohen for his appalling work on that last Mummy movie. Or maybe I'd make it kick him around for ever making Stealth. Or The Skulls. Or XXX: Shitty Bond-style Movie.
The Return of WHO?? by The Dark Shite	Jun 10th, 2009 09:37:46 AM
As if anyone gives a shit about Xander fuckin' Cage. The funniest thing was when they released the first one they were saying how they'd eclipse Bond. Yeah. "The name's Cage..er..thingy Cage." Two words. Fuck & Off. & if this "Medieval" shit means I have to throw away the screenplay I've been putting together, that fucking hack will learn the true meaning of medieval.
Think of it this way guys... by Kenshiro_187	Jun 10th, 2009 09:39:06 AM
Sometimes, all I want from a movie is to see people get hacked, awesome action and some tits thrown in there. Now hopefully all I want from this is a fun Medieval killing movie, something like Excalibur. Forget about the drama and that pansy-shit, if I wanted drama and medieval gore I'd watch Kingdom of Heaven from a real director in Sir Ridley.
The Dark Shite... by Kenshiro_187	Jun 10th, 2009 09:41:17 AM
one thing about Hollywood is that it doesn't matter how many times a story gets retold. So chances are this will be shit and we'll see gold in your stuff.
Slow news day. by Fortunesfool	Jun 10th, 2009 09:47:22 AM
Rob Cohen not making one film in order to make another. Who.Cares.
putting my head on the chopping block here... by Basehead	Jun 10th, 2009 09:47:30 AM
I thought the mummy 3 was quite entertaining
Is this the Neil Marshall script? by palimpsest	Jun 10th, 2009 09:47:36 AM
He was working on a very similar project a couple of years ago; pitched as a medieval version of WHERE EAGLES DARE if I remember right...
bitches come by moviemaven83	Jun 10th, 2009 09:50:03 AM

Kenshiro_187 by The Dark Shite	Jun 10th, 2009 09:50:10 AM
We'll see. I can't count the number of times I've thrown stuff away because a movie's came along with a similar theme to my idea. I guess there are only so many variations on a theme to go around. Basehead, wash your mouth out.
But is Vin Diesel a knight? by Spandau Belly	Jun 10th, 2009 09:51:14 AM
Because I will pay to see that. But I bet Season of The Witch blows this out of the water of ridiculawesomeness.
Magnificent Seven... by Lacloake	Jun 10th, 2009 09:52:49 AM
Robert Vaughn is still alive isn't he? If he's dead he won't be happy hearing about it...
video game? by Series7	Jun 10th, 2009 09:53:19 AM
or new movie?
Rob = Awesome Director, He's Bruce Lee movie was by Proman1984	Jun 10th, 2009 09:55:08 AM
Pretty awesome!
Last I heard Lacloake, by The Dark Shite	Jun 10th, 2009 09:56:57 AM
Robert Vaughn was on British TV in a thing I can't remember the name of. I've been abroad too long. Some con artist show.
Dark Shite by Lacloake	Jun 10th, 2009 09:59:30 AM
It's called 'Hustle'. not sure if it's still running...
Yeah that's it.. by The Dark Shite	Jun 10th, 2009 10:03:05 AM
Hustle. The only two things I remember about it are Robert Vaughan & the posh girl with the dark hair who made me wish it was called "Hustler".
"Bitches leave" by Mistahtibbs	Jun 10th, 2009 10:07:28 AM

"Bitches leave" redux... by Mistahtibbs	Jun 10th, 2009 10:08:29 AM
"The Tale of the Mistaken KeyStrike" Harry! Edit function! Just Do It™!!!
Rob Cohen = Any director will do. by Stuntcock Mike	Jun 10th, 2009 10:09:03 AM

Great, if we learned anything from the third Mummy... by Anna Valerious	Jun 10th, 2009 10:16:23 AM
...it's that if you leave this idiot to make a historical piece, it's going to be crappy.
Time travel? by therobcat	Jun 10th, 2009 10:18:38 AM
Can't Xxxander just travel back in time to get totally X-treme on a bunch of bad knights? XXX3: Bad Knights. It writes itself. Just imagine the totally sweet tricks he could do high atop the castle walls. Rocktastic.
Jugdish by Pancho_Villa	Jun 10th, 2009 10:22:52 AM
You say that like its a bad thing. If you had the chance to work in places you wanted to visit I bet you would do the same.
Dragon, Dragonheart, Mummy Tomb of the Dragon Emperor by Mysterious_Volvo	Jun 10th, 2009 10:33:59 AM
Rob Cohen has a Dragon fetish.
and also he was a producer on ''THE WIZ'' by Mysterious_Volvo	Jun 10th, 2009 10:34:19 AM

XXX by Omar B	Jun 10th, 2009 10:37:08 AM
Made it through half of the first one, didn't even attempt the second one. Cohen sucks.
XXX3: Bad Knights by therobcat	Jun 10th, 2009 10:41:41 AM
Powers Boothe should totally play the King's secretly evil advisor.
COHEN IS AWFUL - MY GOD. by BillyMayesHere	Jun 10th, 2009 11:02:04 AM
Is anyone watching his films? ... NO - I won't continue this tirade - the "bottom line" is: THE BOTTOM LINE - His films are awful but they MAKE MONEY. - That's all they have to do.
PUT Cohen & Diesel's HEADS TOGETHER... by BillyMayesHere	Jun 10th, 2009 11:04:14 AM
and you get a HUGE ASS!.... that's from Johnny Be Good.... who stole from Rodney.... who was in Caddyshack. .... I miss that guy.
Dragonheart is a cool flick by TheLastCleric	Jun 10th, 2009 11:17:05 AM
Sean Connery as a dragon, Dennis Quaid as a knight, what more could you want? I haven't seen the third Mummy flick however despite being a huge Jet Li fan.
The tagline has already written itself by terry1978	Jun 10th, 2009 11:20:10 AM
Any variation on "Get Medieval". Har har.
The tagline has already written itself by terry1978	Jun 10th, 2009 11:20:16 AM
Any variation on "Get Medieval". Har har.
FUCK ROB COHEN! by D.Vader	Jun 10th, 2009 11:33:46 AM
Damnit, I've been working on a Magnificent Seven set in the medieval times! FUCK!
Mummy 3 by Mr. Graboid	Jun 10th, 2009 11:35:32 AM
Rob Cohen didnt really catch my attention before seing the third mummy movie. Not that I liked the two that came before, but a friend and me was determined to go to the cinema, and Mummy 3 was all they were showing. It took almost all my willpower to watch it through. Words cant express just how retarded it was... And if a movie can almost make you feel sorry for Brendan Fraser (I absolutely loathe him)... Well then its a sad affair. I thought Dragon was okay though... But now Rob Cohen is becomming my numero uno hate director together with Paul WS Anderson, Mark Steven Johnson and Brett Ratner. A considerable achievement.
What no Star wars Trek rumors ? by Trannyformers_Apologist	Jun 10th, 2009 11:36:25 AM
What the fuck is this shit.
XXX2 Bombed horribly. by BigTuna	Jun 10th, 2009 11:39:05 AM
Yeah, no Vin Diesel but no one cares.
So it's a medieval version Bugs Life or... by Shepard Wong	Jun 10th, 2009 12:07:55 PM
Battle Beyond the Stars. Sounds cool. He should change the setting from Europe to Japan so he could have samurai instead of knights. I bet a movie like that would kick ass.
Rob Cohen is very last week...though - by Lemure_v2	Jun 10th, 2009 12:08:26 PM
if they were to adapt the PS game Medievil into live action I'd be there.
The Dark Shite by Kenshiro_187	Jun 10th, 2009 12:12:05 PM
Same here with the scripts and ideas but I keep them by because, everything gets rehased right.
XXX: THE RETURN OF XANDER CAGE by Mr_Incredible	Jun 10th, 2009 12:16:31 PM
Starring Nicolas Cage as Nicolas Cage and Xander Cage. Written by Donald Kaufman. I'd see it.
Mummy 3 didn't kill his career? by Rev. Slappy	Jun 10th, 2009 12:18:56 PM
And you gotta feel sorry for Vin going back to the craptacular xXx series. He must want a new boat.
Rob Cohen is a poor man's Ratner or McG by RobertBaron	Jun 10th, 2009 12:25:34 PM

Magnificent Seven? by BoStrike1	Jun 10th, 2009 12:26:21 PM
He automatically lost points by failing to refference the movie that he would actually be remaking here.
Doesn't he mean "Seven Samurai" in Middle Ages by MattmanReturns	Jun 10th, 2009 12:30:26 PM

Mummy 3 was the worst movie of last year by MattmanReturns	Jun 10th, 2009 12:34:27 PM

We will get Mummy 4 yesssssssssss!!! by Mysterious_Volvo	Jun 10th, 2009 12:34:28 PM

uh, so. by SigourneyWeaversBeaver	Jun 10th, 2009 12:43:48 PM
one: is there a need to make xXx 3?(and why?) two: is there a dire need to see, this Medieval, let alone make it? three: who gives a shit what movie Rob Cohen is making.
great news#111112!!! by TheExterminator	Jun 10th, 2009 12:45:23 PM
....
Rob Cohen by WillFerret	Jun 10th, 2009 12:51:08 PM
Please go away!!!!
Robert Vaughn in HUSTLE by palimpsest	Jun 10th, 2009 12:51:57 PM
Yep, the show's still running in the UK. A sixth season's been commissioned and is due to air January 2010. If you've never seen it, it's basically a conman version of the A-TEAM, or a TV ripoff of the OCEANS 11 remake. It's pretty entertaining, and very slick. Not as awesome as BBC's SPOOKS (you might call that MI-5 in the US), but not bad nevertheless. Apparently AMC show HUSTLE in the States. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing as I'm a limey.
BITCHES GO SOMEWHERE by COCKNASTY_BUTTSTANK	Jun 10th, 2009 12:58:23 PM

Bitches! I have kids to feed! by Falafalguy	Jun 10th, 2009 01:26:41 PM
Bitches don't like falafal. Waka-Waka!
Kill, Torture, Rape, Let Live? by RobertBaron	Jun 10th, 2009 01:29:37 PM
Rob Cohen, Brett Ratner, McG, Stephen Sommers
Cool. It's good to read about a production that's not a remake by hallmitchell	Jun 10th, 2009 01:31:53 PM
I like the idea. I would love to see Vin Diesel make a fantasy/conan style film.
Speaking of medieval movies and Vin... by thedarklinglord	Jun 10th, 2009 01:33:56 PM
When is someone going to cast Vin Diesel in a D&D-style fantasy movie? We know he was down with playing D&D back in the day. Surely he'd jump at the opportunity to wear chainmail and swing a sword while getting paid. Someone needs to make that shit happen.
I can see it now: Viking, ninja, Zulu warrior, and by CreasyBear	Jun 10th, 2009 01:34:07 PM
knight. Just like that new show about this warrior vs that warrior. Except longer. And even less credible. I have to admit, though, this cross-cultural warrior amalgamation idea is the kind of thing I dreamed up as being completely awesome when I was ten.
I live my life a quater horsetrot at a time. by Spandau Belly	Jun 10th, 2009 01:34:58 PM
Man doing skydiving in suit armour = good.
Rob Cohen is not the biggest hack by ZoeFan	Jun 10th, 2009 01:43:34 PM
However he is in the Top 7. Why do movie studios deal with this guy?
Read the script for Medieval... by jones1899	Jun 10th, 2009 01:45:08 PM
Kinda lame at times, but could be fun.
Man managed to make by Fa_Tass_DinoMolester	Jun 10th, 2009 01:56:54 PM
Steven Sommors look like Orson Wells. What a bald piece of palin!
Stuntcock Mike nailed it by Heckles	Jun 10th, 2009 02:14:47 PM
And it's great (hilarious) to see Diesel going back to all the projects he thought he was too big for.
Mummy 3 was so bad by AlwaysThere	Jun 10th, 2009 02:19:35 PM
I fast forwarded through the entire movie and don't even remember how it ended.
If anyone cares... My Top 7 by ZoeFan	Jun 10th, 2009 02:35:37 PM
Not in any order: McG, Brett Ratner, Rob Cohen, Uwe Boll, Stephen Sommers, Paul W.S. Anderson and Roland Emmerich
COCKNASTY_BUTTSTANK by WillFerret	Jun 10th, 2009 02:36:20 PM
You are either Rob Cohen himself or his number one fan. I just can't figure out which one is worse to be.
Clarence should be a knight by kafka07	Jun 10th, 2009 02:37:33 PM
and make sure use of the word "bitches" is gratutitous.
RobertBaron by Crow3711	Jun 10th, 2009 03:14:01 PM
Hilarious, hilarious truth in that statement. How pathetic is it when your the go-to hack when all the other hacks are busy? A poor mans Ratner?..more like a homeless man covered in shit.
I've read the script. by MaxTheSilent	Jun 10th, 2009 03:34:00 PM
It's right up Cohen's alley. Lots of action, simplistic characters. But then hre even managed to suck the fun out of THE MUMMY 3 with his ham-fisted style.
new xXx? um...why? by blackrabbit26	Jun 10th, 2009 03:57:30 PM
why then? why? i ask you...
Get Justin Lin! by Vern	Jun 10th, 2009 03:58:45 PM
He managed to embrace the ridiculousness of the FAST AND FURIOUS series while making it strangely more enjoyable. He made Diesel look good, made Paul Walker seem tough, had good action scenes and a sense of humor without being too wink wink, nudge nudge. I enjoy many of Cohen's movies as enjoyably moronic crap (a poor man's Renny Harlin) but the original xXx completely blew it. The prologue about him being an avenger for video game players and rap music fans is hilariously stupid, but then it just gets boring when the actual plot starts. I think Justin Lin is the man to make it work. Also, since Xander Cage was killed off screen in the DVD supplements this is a good chance to correct the bullshit ending of the first movie and have him come back as an outlaw again, trying to get revenge on the people who set him up. I forget, is Samuel L. Jackson's character still alive? And is Ice Cube available for cameos?
cohen does suck by kennyd	Jun 10th, 2009 04:13:33 PM
WHY DO WE EVEN WAST OUR TIME WITH THIS SHIT..HEY REMENBER JAWS RUMOR?FROM ALLMOVIENEWS,,WELL UPDATE YOU HAVE TO READ IT..HE HAS A NEW SITE PRETTY COOL,THIS IS BETTER...BUT HE HAS COMMENTS TO..NEW WEB PAGE IS www.bestmovienews.net..check it out,let me know what you think about jaws,,with no steven...
Either way by HideousSecretion	Jun 10th, 2009 04:27:44 PM
As long as Asia Argento is in whatever movie he makes showing that fine euro-trash bush I'm a-okay. I want to be in that vag.
Lin's too good for xXx now. He'll do 1 more F&F and move on. by JuanSanchez	Jun 10th, 2009 04:58:23 PM

Was Darius Stone killed last night? by Toilet_Terror	Jun 10th, 2009 05:03:10 PM
Alright everyone out of the barn!
Both xXx movies sucked by Charlie_Allnut	Jun 10th, 2009 05:05:52 PM
the second one much more so then the first. Vin needs to do something original instead of recycling his few hit movies. Medieval sounds cool...but not with Rob Cohen directing. His movies are just...blah.
Vin Should Join Him: XXX Is Dead by Media Messiah	Jun 10th, 2009 05:15:36 PM
Do Medieval instead, Vin!!!
WHERE ARE THE FUCKING TRANSFORMERS 2 REVIEWS? by drompter	Jun 10th, 2009 05:32:10 PM
Movie has already been premiered in Tokyo and Seoul. How come there aren't reviews yet?
A medieval Magnificent Seven? It's already been done... by The Grug	Jun 10th, 2009 05:40:27 PM
In that miserable Clive Owen/King Arthur film. The band of warriors, each with a particular skill... and it felt as inane and contrived as anything Hollywood is capable of. I can't really see Cohen being able to conjour anything better.
What Rob Cohen Does At Hollywood Meetings... by Henry Fool	Jun 10th, 2009 06:07:03 PM
Rob Cohen must suck dick really well because I can't figure out why anyone let's him direct films. My friend actually heard one of his screenwriters say that he couldn't direct his ass out of a prison shower and that he got lucky with Dragon, which was a pretty so-so film at best.
Do more interesting xxx with Asia by Logan_1973	Jun 10th, 2009 06:07:52 PM
You all know you want it.
wow, NeilF doesn't understand sarcasm or humor in general by SoylentMean	Jun 10th, 2009 06:12:25 PM
Yes, I fully expect zombie casts in all remakes where the original cast has already shuffled off their mortal coils. I always thought that was like a snake shedding its skin...
Cohen makes that dipshit who did Gi Joe look like Cameron. by GQtaste	Jun 10th, 2009 06:13:46 PM
This guy is a complete and utter waste of time. I'd rather see my grandma make movies than anything this clown comes up w/. Kevin Smith has more talent than Cohen or originality for that matter.
Oh, and The Mummy 3 was a fun movie by SoylentMean	Jun 10th, 2009 06:15:55 PM
I'm really not that discerning when it comes to movies with the word "mummy" in the title.
What Rob Cohen does at Hollywood meetings... by RobertBaron	Jun 10th, 2009 06:24:27 PM
He's the glory hole. Hold the hole. Hold the wall.
Vern: Justin Lin Is Good--Great Pick!!! by Media Messiah	Jun 10th, 2009 06:29:13 PM
He truly is the most exciting young...up and coming director in Hollywood right now.
Mummy 4 by Logan_1973	Jun 10th, 2009 06:37:10 PM
Mummy 3 had some nice elements. I loved the storyline of Rick and Evie bored with their quiet lives while junior tromps around the world. Everything else was just a misfire.
LOL I meant Mummy 3 by Logan_1973	Jun 10th, 2009 06:38:05 PM
Stupid fingers.
Mummy III was OK by Sal_Bando	Jun 10th, 2009 08:13:22 PM
Somewhat better than #2, not up the first one though. I enjoyed it, but have no reason to see it again or wait for fourth entry, which I doubt will happen.
HEY EVERYBODY!!! GUESS WHAT WE DON'T NEED?!!! by CELEBRITY_NAME_GROSS_BODY_FUNCTI ON	Jun 10th, 2009 09:20:30 PM
Either one of these movies.
indy or mummy? by martinlutherkrangjr	Jun 10th, 2009 10:20:08 PM
Mummy 3 or crystal skull; which one sucked more?
Enough with PG-13 "action" movies! by Motoko Kusanagi	Jun 11th, 2009 01:30:53 AM
I'm sick'n'fucking tired of those!
Indy or Mummy by Mr. Graboid	Jun 11th, 2009 02:27:13 AM
Are you insane? Of course Mummy 3 sucked more!
How could Mummy 3 possibly suck more than KOTCS? by The Grug	Jun 11th, 2009 03:34:41 AM
No had any expectations for Mummy 3.
Consider the Timing by Robert_Downey_in_blackface	Jun 11th, 2009 08:13:51 AM
I think the timing is very critical to Cohen's decision. With Mr. Carradine's recent sexploits and demise, I think Cohen looked to that Great Man and asked WWDCD? And knew the answer... drop kick Diesel's ass to the curb and go get Medieval (sweaty) with seven guys and no guns, but hopefully lots of rope!
What's the porn movie version of XXX? by MrMysteryGuest	Jun 11th, 2009 12:00:29 PM
A question to ponder...
Vern, Fuck Justin Lin! by Kenshiro_187	Jun 11th, 2009 02:53:36 PM
If anything, Verhoven should do something like this. I will even settle for Russell Mulcahy. In fact, he should be doing this film instead of Rob Cohen.
Kenshiro by Vern	Jun 11th, 2009 09:25:26 PM
well, it's a proven fact that Verhoeven is the best dream-director for any movie. But you really want to waste him on xXx part 3? I mean, yeah, if he wanted to do it I would be first in line. Lin might actually do it willingly, though. Mulcahy's a good choice too although he doesn't seem to care as much anymore.
The poor man's Renny Harlin by Lyghthouse	Jun 11th, 2009 10:40:51 PM
Oh God, Vern. That had me choking on my saliva I was laughing so hard.
Rob Cohen by Cujo_Fugate	Jun 12th, 2009 12:13:31 AM
sucks ass-hole. Vin Diesel is the new John Wayne for white trash, mentally retarded, isopropyl alcohol drinking, Camaro driving, Wal-Mart shopping, wastes of human life that won't shut up during a really good movie because the plot is too complex for them to understand piles of human garbage. If YOU spent any money going to see a Vin Diesel movie in the past two years, please do society a favor and go lay down in the middle of an interstate.
Has Cohen made 1 good film? by JoeSixPack	Jun 12th, 2009 01:12:57 AM
Ever? Who keeps giving him work?

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Rob Cohen's Dumping xXx: THE RETURN OF XANDER CAGE To Get MEDIEVAL On Your Ass!!

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