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DRAGONBALL: EVOLUTION Is "a terrible film" Says One AICN Reader!! 'Characters throwing energy blasts and turning into apes'...

bring on T4 by Silverglade	Mar 15th, 2009 08:15:46 PM

SECOND! by closeencounter	Mar 15th, 2009 08:21:45 PM

what's the scene in the credits? by tompiltoff	Mar 15th, 2009 08:21:49 PM

AND THIRD!! by closeencounter	Mar 15th, 2009 08:21:58 PM

Oops! FOURTH! by closeencounter	Mar 15th, 2009 08:22:32 PM

LoL Watchmen didn't make 2nd week @ 1 by ClassWeapon	Mar 15th, 2009 08:24:26 PM
5th
"Now you will see my TRUE form!" by fiester	Mar 15th, 2009 08:24:38 PM
...and 55 episodes later, only 10 minutes of fight has elapsed and we're still waiting. Dragonball wrote the book on dragging things out. I think Lost is based on it's structure.
Finally, an honest review. by Evangelion217	Mar 15th, 2009 08:25:06 PM
Bring on "Wolverine", "Star Trek", "TS", and "Transformers 2." All of those films look more exciting then "Dragon Ball." Even "Angels and Demons" looks interesting, compared to this shit. At any rate, "Watchmen" might be the best mainstream film of this year. You can write it down. :)
Everyone knows that BERSERK is the only manga that counts. by JudasPriestly	Mar 15th, 2009 08:39:35 PM
Some goofy live action movie about Dragon Ball Z was bound to be entertaining as Street Fighter.
About 10 years too late. by lockesbrokenleg	Mar 15th, 2009 08:41:39 PM

Dragon Ball episodes were so slow. by GibsonUSA Returns	Mar 15th, 2009 08:49:05 PM
It took forever just for something to happen in the episode. Like they'd stare at each other for 20 minutes, with facial closeups of every character in the scene....then someone would finally do a move and the episode would be over. next episode. second move. It was soooooo slow and dragged out, thats my only complaint....but hey, DBZ posters are awesome arent they?? :) I loved DBZ posters and games growing up, the cartoons were a bit slow with all the close-ups of every single character in the series before someone does one thing. I was a fan....but not enough to start a DB web site and move to Japan to teach high school.
Wow... by Chuck_Cobra	Mar 15th, 2009 08:50:11 PM
FOX fucking up another beloved franchise? Really? WHO would have thought?
My last sentence wasnt intended to sound mean. by GibsonUSA Returns	Mar 15th, 2009 08:51:18 PM
I just reread it. Didnt mean to come across as mean.
DB episodes dragging out by Defrost	Mar 15th, 2009 08:54:04 PM
The reason for that is that the show could not get ahead of the manga. So they had to drag shit out to stay behind it.
DragonBall Zzzzzzzzzzzz... by OBESE_WAN_KENOBI	Mar 15th, 2009 09:01:05 PM
Boring Alert! And Evangelion217, how can Watchmen be the best mainstream film of the year when it can't hit #1 two weeks in a row. Even Paul Blart and Madea goes to jail managed to pull that off.
I said it once...I'll say it again... by conspiracy	Mar 15th, 2009 09:13:05 PM
trying to make Anime into Live action=Epic FAIL.
Sounds good! by malificus	Mar 15th, 2009 09:24:37 PM
I'm gonna go to the theatre dressed as a Street Fighter character and act as if I can't tell the difference and then about halfway through the film stomp to the managers office all pissed off and bitch about how Chun Li's not even IN the fucking thing and DEMAND my money back.
VEGETA! what does the scouter say about... by The Amazing G	Mar 15th, 2009 09:42:14 PM
his power level!?
no Trunks no $ know Trunks know $ by Jesiah	Mar 15th, 2009 09:42:27 PM
No Trunks no story know Trunks know story.....then again if Trunks was is it they would prolly (%%* that up too. So maybe its good he wasn't in this
by Jesiah	Mar 15th, 2009 09:43:06 PM

it's a movie by FOX... by CrashPanda	Mar 15th, 2009 09:45:12 PM
did we really think it was going to be good, or at least faithful to the source material? c'mon people we saw this coming when they announced it was green lit. this movie, and all FOX movies are made to make FOX money. that's it. it's not to please fans.
This is the stupid movie that a stupid cartoon deserves by Raymar	Mar 15th, 2009 09:55:51 PM

STOP ADVOCATING THIS AS A GOOD LAUGH WITH FRIENDS. by Warcraft	Mar 15th, 2009 09:56:05 PM
Stop suggesting that people see this as a good laugh with their friends at the theaters! THE LAST THING YOU WANT IS TO GIVE MONEY TO SHITTY MOVIES, REGARDLESS OF THE REASONS! Movie studios don't give a shit WHY you are seeing the movie, they don't CARE if you think it's funny and sucks, so long as you are PAYING to see it, you are FUNDING more shitty ass movies. If a movie fucking sucks, don't fucking recommend it, PERIOD.
Who are the ad wizards... by wampa 1	Mar 15th, 2009 09:58:20 PM
...that came up with this one?
Dragonball Z a beloved franchise? Try again by lockesbrokenleg	Mar 15th, 2009 10:01:56 PM

R.I.P. Ron SIlver. by Pennsy	Mar 15th, 2009 10:06:13 PM
:( http://tinyurl.com/d8hrtc
But can you make an AMV of it... by BeeDub	Mar 15th, 2009 10:11:19 PM
to Linkin Park's "In the End"?
What Does Anyone Expect Out Of Something Called... by Media Messiah	Mar 15th, 2009 10:14:36 PM
...Dragonball? Of course it is going to be terrible, and anyone who would want to make such a film, can't respect the material, or the audience its meant for!
Ron Silver Use To Be In The CIA by Media Messiah	Mar 15th, 2009 10:18:56 PM
He died in his sleep. They say that good people die in their sleep. Here's wishing you a peaceful journey.
Who cares? by ShogunMaster	Mar 15th, 2009 10:22:26 PM
They're just going to reboot the damn thing in a few years anyway...
really by jaywrong	Mar 15th, 2009 10:25:38 PM
did any of us think it wouldn't be teh suck? honestly...
mark my words, this will be rebooted in the 2020's by Rindain	Mar 15th, 2009 10:25:47 PM
and will be a mega-hit like Transformers. All the kids who grew up on Dragonball Z will be in their 20s or 30s, and will take their GF's, wives, and kids.
Japan Audiences are the same as anywhere else... by ApneicMonkey	Mar 15th, 2009 10:33:43 PM
Don't give me this bollocks about how they sit patiently through the credits. I've lived in Japan for a number of years now and it's a mad rush by everyone to exit the cinema as soon as the movie fades to black... just like everywhere else in the world. It's only a few people that stick around to 'wait' out that mad rush of people. Why is it always the High-School English teachers that live out in the country areas of Japan that sprout this crap about the country and give everyone else in the world the wrong impression? Sorry... rant over. And yes, Dragonball: Evolution sucks in a huge way (that StreetFighter, Double Dragon huge way)... at least I agree with this guy on that one.
I lived in Tokyo for a while (Shibuya/Harajuku) by StarBlitzer	Mar 15th, 2009 10:39:10 PM
ApneicMonkey is right on the money. And as fast as fads come and go in Tokyo, I'm surprised anyone there even remembers DragonBall!
Rindain by StarBlitzer	Mar 15th, 2009 10:41:14 PM
The kids that grew up on DragonBall Z are in their 30's RIGHT NOW! At least those of us that didn't get cable until college...
Review is kinda by Bass Ackwards	Mar 15th, 2009 10:43:36 PM

Review is kinda neat by Bass Ackwards	Mar 15th, 2009 10:44:58 PM
A guy got to make a living being a fan. I know nothing of dragonball, but I'll always dig stories like the reviewers.
To Warcraft by gurugurugaijin	Mar 15th, 2009 11:09:10 PM
Where exactly in the review did I suggest anyone go see it in a 'theater' with friends?
To ApneicMonkey by gurugurugaijin	Mar 15th, 2009 11:12:20 PM
So... because you have a different experience, my observation in having been in the country for close to a decade now is wrong? Hmmm. You'll notice a TB from the previous review made a similar comment. Guess he was wrong too. The world should surely listen more to what you have to say about Japan.
I like people throwing energy blasts and turning into apes by JimCurry	Mar 15th, 2009 11:19:01 PM
So I'm there.
But do you like... by gurugurugaijin	Mar 15th, 2009 11:22:53 PM
"Hey we're complete opposites and share nothing in common and I hate you for trying to trap me in a hole in the desert!" "You're right! Hey, bummer the world is going to end and we're the only ones who know." "Yeah! Let's kiss!"
Saw trailer, made no sense by Mgmax	Mar 15th, 2009 11:29:37 PM
The trailer says all you need to know-- it's meaningless flash and action which is supposed to impress us and badly failed to stir even my 10-year-old.
This reviewer bangs Japanese girls by YackBacker	Mar 15th, 2009 11:32:08 PM
I take everything he says as Gospel.
gurugurugaijin by JimCurry	Mar 15th, 2009 11:35:33 PM
Yes. Yes I do.
Jim Curry by gurugurugaijin	Mar 15th, 2009 11:37:23 PM
Then may the Force be with you.
"Dragon Ball remains a cornerstone in my life"??? by Emperor_was_a_jerk	Mar 15th, 2009 11:47:54 PM
Holy crap. OF HIS LIFE! This person sure does love Dragon Ball! That is one long-ass review to say it sucks.
What about Piccolo? by D.Vader	Mar 16th, 2009 12:06:52 AM
Surprised he did not mention him or Marsters in the review.
You've pretty much centered your life around DBZ... by TheGhostWhoLurks	Mar 16th, 2009 12:07:20 AM
Moving to Japan, learning the language, picking up a wife and laying down roots there, as a result of your love for the anime and you're SURPISED that you didn't like the live-action flick based on it??? Dude, you've invested WAY too much of yourself in DBZ to EVER like any Hollywood-made film about it. Anytime anyone is that hooked on a certain property, they're begging to be disappointed by whatever shows up in the theatres, because live-action films ALWAYS take liberties... using really BAD ones. But don't feel too bad. I don't think even people ignorant of the source material will flock to see this film. It's just another poorly-acted, kiddie, kung-fu flick in a long line of crappy films that belong in the 25-cent DVD bin at Walmart.
TheGhostWhoLurks by gurugurugaijin	Mar 16th, 2009 12:15:00 AM
Actually the point of the introduction was to point out that while DB was a starting point for my interest in Japan when I was in grade school, I haven't seen an episode or read a comic in almost 10 years. I had no expectations going into the film and my comments aren't that of a DB fan, but as a fan of cinema. I've seen what DB fans have to say about the film and believe me, it's nothing like this. On one side they're calling the soundtrack alone a masterpiece that surpasses that of The Dark Knight. On the other side they're saying because Goku isn't Asian the film is racist. Yeah ok.
Over 9000!?!?! by FookU	Mar 16th, 2009 12:20:25 AM
My 9 year old loves the cartoon and he saw the trailer and said he thought it looked like crap. He's 9 and even he knows shit when he sees it.
gurugurugaijin by ApneicMonkey	Mar 16th, 2009 12:25:54 AM
Yeah... he was wrong too and you're just feeding the stereotype. I guess it's not really your fault, it's just the skewed way that you view Japan because you're a classically sterotypical Japanophile yourself. The gurugurugaijin... the manga... the English teaching... You yourself are the poster boy for the cliche of every foreigner living in Japan. Were you part of the JET program by any chance?
I'M POSTER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! by Err	Mar 16th, 2009 12:35:19 AM
What 9000?
There is only one way to see this by kungfuhustler84	Mar 16th, 2009 12:42:38 AM
and that's as royally fucked up as possible, while still being able to make it to the cinema and into your chair. I plan to gel my hair into obscene spikes, down a fifth of whiskey, maybe smoke a bit, and ride the DBZ pony for 90 minutes of whiskey, smoke-induced joy.
And fault the TV show all you want by kungfuhustler84	Mar 16th, 2009 12:50:37 AM
Those hour long movies they made were fucking balls-out insane. I remember one where Goten and Trunks fused so they could re-kill fucking Hitler, all over again, because he escaped from hell or something.
This morning.. by deanbarry	Mar 16th, 2009 01:16:26 AM
I had coffee. But no breakfast as I don't usually eat it. I know, i know, it's the most important meal of the day. But as i write this talkback,a little retrospective to how I got here needs to be explained. It was a tough day. Not working because I am on holidays. So all that I had to do today was watch back to back installements of The Matrix trilogy which I picked up on Blu Ray the other day. And oh my, astonishing. But i digress. Due to lack of said breakfast earlier in the day, i found my energy levels somewhat lagging by midday. So, a nanna nap was in order. After a solid 4 hour sleep, I woke up, grabbed a beer from the fridge and logged onto AICN where upon i discovered a review on the Dragonball movie. I have no intention at all to see this flick as i think looks like it will suck the life out of me. But i figured hey, this review looks like a fun read. And low and behold, i had to read his life story before getting to the goods. So i gave up. And came straight here. To do the same. Ha ha. See...no fun reading longwinded shit. Forgive me. i just woke up and need another coffe.
ApneicMonkey by gurugurugaijin	Mar 16th, 2009 01:54:07 AM
claps Well played ApneicMonkey. Well played. Yes it's true, I lied when I said people stay to watch the credits in movie theaters in Japan. It was all part of a far bigger plan than you could ever imagine but you, you had to go and ruin it. All our dreams, dashed. You saw right through it didn't you? More people should listen to you and your expertise in the field of anthropologic evaluation of Japanese movie theaters. When it comes to them, only ApneicMonkey knows his shit so listen up TB readers. Because if anyone says otherwise, it's poppy-cock. This round goes to you Sir.
I agree with TheGhostWhoLurks. Harcore DB fan = gonna hate this by Mike_D	Mar 16th, 2009 02:41:18 AM
its true.
guruguruasshole by kungfuhustler84	Mar 16th, 2009 02:47:27 AM
Shut the fuck up please. Nobody cares. Let's all get drunk and watch this dumbass movie.
The only anime I want to see as live action... by InfiniteRegress	Mar 16th, 2009 03:12:45 AM
....would be FullMetal Alchemist. In the right hands and filmed on location in Prague or Budapest or some other vaguely exotic Central European locale, FMA could be a fantastic series of films. It already has a beautifully realized world and great characters. That said, I'm sure Hollywood would find ample ways to fuck it up.
Great Review by jonnyweir	Mar 16th, 2009 03:43:24 AM
Really fantastically written. Well done Greg.
My family and I will see this. by Toonol	Mar 16th, 2009 03:46:13 AM
No way around it. But... at least I like Ayumi Hamasaki. Japanese pop stars are a lot more likely to churn out songs for bad movies, anime, and video games.
kungfuhustler84 by gurugurugaijin	Mar 16th, 2009 04:15:56 AM
is a gentleman and a scholar.
RANMA 1/2 movie could work. by GibsonUSA Returns	Mar 16th, 2009 04:16:35 AM
I'd watch as long as guy plays the male version and a girl plays the female version. Like Zac Effron gets splashed by water and turned into Jessica Alba. lol.
you lost me when you used the phrase 'Dragonball Canon' by smackfu	Mar 16th, 2009 04:23:59 AM
I was absolutely obsessed with DBZ when it first hit the US, when the damned cartoon network just kept looping the same 15 or so episodes from the first chapter, I started buying up the Japanese VHSs just so I could keep getting fresh episodes. But even I, a hardcore fan who can still watch this in marathons for nostalgia's sake, realize then and now that I'm watching 300 hours of people staring and grinding their teeth while powering up to blast each other across the planet. 'Canon' is not applicable to a show that really has only 5 different episodes recycled into hundreds.
you had me at.... by smudgedude	Mar 16th, 2009 05:06:02 AM
Characters throwing energy blasts and turning into apes. Sounds amazing
gurugurugaijin: part 2 by ApneicMonkey	Mar 16th, 2009 05:09:02 AM
I never actually said that some people don't stick around to watch the credits. In fact, I actually made a point of saying that a few people stick around... You however, made the extremely broad generalization that all Japanese people do it. You probably tell people that Japanese feel it's impolite to laugh during comedy movies too, right?
Great anti-intro introduction. by onemanarmy	Mar 16th, 2009 05:16:27 AM
So instead of talking about my life before I review this film, I'm going to talk about not talking about my life before the review and eventually talk about my life anyway. AICN = Trendsetting bastards.
ApneicMonkey by gurugurugaijin	Mar 16th, 2009 05:45:14 AM
Thank god you were around to clear that debacle up. I can't imagine what would have happened if people went around thinking every single Japanese person (ever) sat through credits based on a overexaggerated comment from a movie review. We should be thankful you're here to set the important shit straight.
So, you admit you were wrong...? by ApneicMonkey	Mar 16th, 2009 06:11:38 AM
I win.
movie looked like shit since the begining by Gungan Slayer	Mar 16th, 2009 06:45:27 AM
much akin to Street Fighter Legend of Chun Li
PLANT!!! by Tell_Your_Mom_I_Said_Hi	Mar 16th, 2009 06:55:06 AM

Howard the Duck-Level Bad? by Aquatarkusman	Mar 16th, 2009 07:28:19 AM
Dare I dream?
As for the cartoon.... by Aquatarkusman	Mar 16th, 2009 07:29:57 AM
Glaciers look at that shit and tell it to pick up the pace.
Why are people complaining? by groorgman	Mar 16th, 2009 07:33:11 AM
That Drag-On Ball was slow? The freaking title says it all.
At leats the PSP game is kinda OK by Ainnem	Mar 16th, 2009 09:27:18 AM
The game from the movie from the anime...
Guys, watch the movies by kungfuhustler84	Mar 16th, 2009 09:53:49 AM
It's all the lunatic action with none of the stopping and staring.
Will Smith as Goku by PTSDPete	Mar 16th, 2009 11:15:27 AM
That's racist casting !
Episodes WAS slow, read the manga. by question83	Mar 16th, 2009 11:49:57 AM
Episodes was so slow because DB was so popular in Japan, that the creators of tv show had to slow things up to make the bigest number of episodes possible. That also included adding lots of shit that wasn't in the comics, just to make series longer. Just read the manga, it's awesome,and exactly as long as it should be.
gurugurugaijin.. by decoy18	Mar 16th, 2009 01:23:06 PM
Are you the same person that set up this petition years ago? http://www.thegrandline.com/db zinfo/sigthank.html
kungfuhustler84, RE: there is only one way to see this by StarBlitzer	Mar 16th, 2009 02:20:35 PM
Nailed it.
Live-action Full-Metal Alchemist? by StarBlitzer	Mar 16th, 2009 02:26:49 PM
I just became power level 9000 ... in my pants.
Nice review. by The Great One	Mar 16th, 2009 02:38:28 PM
You explained where you were coming from with your viewpoints. I may or may not see it now due to your review (as opposed to previously when I was adamant that I wouldn't see it). Thanks for this write-up.
Live action anime is just dumbhouse by kungfuhustler84	Mar 16th, 2009 03:19:03 PM
It's usually anime for a reason. Either a) it would be too expensive to do with real people (think Akira's epic Neo Tokyo setting. how the hell could I have done that in real life on such a grand scale?), or b) it would just look stupid with real people. Super Saiyan 3 Goku comes to mind...
As an anime fan who hates DBZ by MurderMostFowl	Mar 16th, 2009 03:32:07 PM
People who like DBZ have got to raise their standards, man. Randomly watching 10 minute segments of old Gatchaman reruns would make more sense. it's crap and all of you know it. You watched it when you were young and didn't know any better.
I can see the flaws of DBZ now by kungfuhustler84	Mar 16th, 2009 05:09:42 PM
but there's a nostalgia factor that definitely comes into play. I only stopped caring when the reruns became sort of chronic. It took years to get to a new season. Watching the Garlick Jr. saga for a second time made no sense to me at all, so that was when I stopped. Plus, I moved to Germany. I agree though. In retrospect, it is pretty low quality. I would rather turn something like Paranoia Agent on any day of the week.
I agree with the reviewer by kershner	Mar 16th, 2009 05:36:36 PM
REBOOT!!!!! I haven't seen the movie yet, but you only need to see the trailer to know that this sucks.
No Worries.... by onemanarmy	Mar 17th, 2009 08:46:54 AM
With the way things in Hollywood are looking & at this shitty remake rate, DB:E will be remade within the next 18 months.
Not surprised here by Rollofpennies	Mar 17th, 2009 12:28:55 PM
This is one of those many instances where you can tell the movie is gonna suck just by the trailer. Did anyone really feel they were watching Dragonball when they seen the trailer? No. This movie will fail. Like Street Fighter TLOCL did because the whole look is instantly wrong when you look at it. You dont feel comfortable watching movies like they are so bland that you feel you can do a better job than the actors onscreen. Bottom line, this movie looks disrespectful like every other action genre FOX adapts to their shitty cameras. Thanks for a honest review, although I think Masswyrm will not be so generous. I wouldnt
THANK YOU!!! by shinigamiyo	Apr 1st, 2009 08:15:59 PM
Dude, i totally thank you for that honest review, even though I'm just thirteen, i was a hardcore fan since the age of 4,(or 5 =P) I understand...

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DRAGONBALL: EVOLUTION Is "a terrible film" Says One AICN Reader!! 'Characters throwing energy blasts and turning into apes'...

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