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Jondough Deems Frank Miller’s THE SPIRIT The Worst Movie He’s Ever Seen!!

Another movie to pass on! by HBO	Dec 15th, 2008 03:33:09 AM
And buy on BLURAY, because we save money that way, right Harry?
Worse than Battlefield Earth? by pearlanddean	Dec 15th, 2008 03:43:35 AM
Love the write-up, now I've got to see it!
Yeah but by Volllllume3	Dec 15th, 2008 03:44:50 AM
Is it a better COMIC book movie then The Dark Knight?
So the question is: by seppukudkurosawa	Dec 15th, 2008 03:45:00 AM
would it have improved or been even WORSE if it had featured a little black sidekick/servant character named Ebony White?
Lionsgate by catlettuce4	Dec 15th, 2008 03:48:39 AM
Made a film this shit but won't even give Repo! a decent theatrical release? motherFUCKERS.
Frank Miller is a Gimmick Writer by Kal Reeve	Dec 15th, 2008 03:49:52 AM
He tainted Eisner's beloved hero with cynical, absurd style of storytelling. It's all he knows.
The rape reference makes this guy an asshole by Steve Rogers	Dec 15th, 2008 03:50:09 AM
Seriously, how ridiculous and offensive (and I hope no one who has ever suffered that horrendous crime reads this review). I've no douybt this movie is terrible (the trailers look awful) but to compare watching a shitty movie to being "raped"? Get a grip, wanker.
Jondough, thanks for pitying Miller by Victor von Doom	Dec 15th, 2008 03:52:48 AM
I thought you were working up your article to tear him another hole, but you took the honorable route: The man is a comic book artist and never trained as a film director. If the film is as bad as you say, you did a good job putting the onus where it belongs, on the producers for not pulling the emergency brakes.
Man I dunno about this review.. by Ironthorman	Dec 15th, 2008 04:02:02 AM
I am usually pretty good about taking people's opinions from a movie review and using it to shape my own. But this one is just so vicious its hate mongering. no way in the world it could be THAT bad. He couldsnt destroy Eisner's character so completely. I mean fuck, I wont know till I see it, but this review was fucking HATEful.
That was the worst review I've ever read by jonnyweir	Dec 15th, 2008 04:07:02 AM
Seriously. You want to make it in "the business" and you can't write or articulate beyond unfunny comedy and vulgarity. Go away.
This Review... by monolithik	Dec 15th, 2008 04:09:10 AM
...Is only readable if read like the Comic Book Guy from the Simpsons. Otherwise, this was kin to walking in on Jondough masturbating to a mirror. Just saying...
Wow, if the movie sucked, then this review blows. Get it? Anybod by AmericanMovieFan	Dec 15th, 2008 04:13:44 AM
That was the most long-winded, self important, tongue-in-cheek, cocky, meandering, uninformative review I've seen on AICN. I feel that much dumber for seeing it. Of course The Spirit is gonna blow. We all knew this. And of course it looks a lot nicer than it is. Again, we all knew this. This rant just sounded like you expressing a personal vendetta against what, I cannot tell. But damn, you need to learn to edit, collect your thought before you unleash them on the world and actually say something about the flick beyond vague allusions to its suckiness and sarcastic references to all the players' past work. That P.O.S. told me nothing. Shame on you for wasting my time.
I want to make it in the industry! by neverhed	Dec 15th, 2008 04:13:45 AM
As a film critic! And they let people like this write up a review for Ain't it Cool News?! Say it ain't so! I've been raped! Betrayed! This buffoon couldn't write his way out of an episode of "Rebelde." I don't blame him, though. Clearly he doesn't have the training! But fuck! This is the worst review I have ever read! WORSE THAN HARRY'S REVIEW OF "TWILIGHT!"
Plant! by Rolnikov	Dec 15th, 2008 04:15:20 AM
Or at least a reverse plant - reads a lot like someone with an axe to grind.
Apart from the rape comment by MorpheusTheSandman	Dec 15th, 2008 04:16:13 AM
which was completly inappropiate, I say, this guy just wrote what he thought he saw. I never saw Battlefield Earth (and I probably never will), and I will skip this one too if it's sooo bad ...
HIRE ME!!! by neverhed	Dec 15th, 2008 04:16:18 AM
[CHOKES ON OWN THROBBING, NOW-BLEEDING MEMBER] HIRE ME, AICN!!! I CAN'T HELP BUT PLUG MYSELF IN ANYTHING I WRITE!!! ALSO, THIS REVIEW SUCKED, BUT MOSTLY, FUCK I AM SO DESPERATE FOR FILM-RELATED ATTENTION!!!
Worse than Battlefield Earth? by otm shank	Dec 15th, 2008 04:17:37 AM
Wow! If you're gonna make a statement like that you better mean it. And I think it's obvious to most people who saw the AVP movies that the studios mostly don't give a shit.
A more horrible film th Spike Lee>>> by Roketopunch	Dec 15th, 2008 04:20:56 AM
I agree that this guy doesn't sound like critic. This can't be worse than A Miracle at St. Anna. Really, just in the fact that that film wanted to be soooo serious but wasn't even aware of itself. I haven't seen the film, but i'll tell you right now, a serious critic doesn't state if the film is the worst he/she'd ever seen. This critic is a hack.
if the movie is as bad as the jokes in that review by mikey mike	Dec 15th, 2008 04:21:15 AM
then it must really suck. but Bill Pope is a genius and David Newman's score should be fun
Review Review by NetSlut	Dec 15th, 2008 04:21:28 AM
Couple of thousand words to say the acting was bad and the directing was awful? Christ, there's ten minutes of my life I want back...
The amount of detail in this review is impressive by eveelcapitalist	Dec 15th, 2008 04:21:36 AM
Oh, no, wait, it isn't. I shouldn't have to call bullshit on this "review" but I am. Bullshit. Review lacks even the slightest amount of detail citing not one moment from the movie. Why AICN posted this is beyond me. Review in short: "This movie sucks!" Why? "Cause I said so!" Cue the sound of cock slapping across keyboard
Stupid so-called-review by Aeghast	Dec 15th, 2008 04:21:46 AM
I stopped reading halfway through.
Now I want to go see The Spirit... by monolithik	Dec 15th, 2008 04:23:53 AM
...To get the taste of this review out of my mouth. Seriously. Wait, I get it... this was a performance piece, right? An artistic example of how unnecessarily convoluted and ultimately pointless the movie is, right? Right?
Oh NO by hallmitchell	Dec 15th, 2008 04:24:34 AM
I did have low hopes for this. There was something about the photos in Wizard that worried me alot about this film.
The Internet by monolithik	Dec 15th, 2008 04:26:14 AM
Has Spoken.
Worse than 'White Chicks' & 'Little Man'? by pokadoo	Dec 15th, 2008 04:26:47 AM
I seriously doubt it.
This is going to tank so badly by Tokyo_Drifter	Dec 15th, 2008 04:30:39 AM
That I'm really, really worried that it's going to ruin any chance of Sin City 2 materializing. I honestly can't believe it got greenlit. Does anyone even care about The Spirit that isn't dying in a hospice at this point? So, no name recognition. Strike one. Hire an incompetent director. Strike two. Then let said director go wild using the same exact visuals as the one other movie he "directed." Except that the visuals for this one aren't even in context. With Sin City, that's actually how the books looked. With The Spirit, it's exactly how Sin City looked, except it's not Sin City. Someone called Frank Miller a gimmick writer. You can add /director to that now too. $7 million domestic gross, The Spirit cometh!
Is this a review or really bad stand up comedy from the 80s? by ChuckImania	Dec 15th, 2008 04:30:42 AM
"You know what's funny about air plane food!?" Yeah... After reading this review I feel raped, and not the normal vaginal kind of rape-I'm talking full fledged anal violation. I couldn't tell whether this was a legitimate review or a bad stand up routine. I'll give him this much: the second trailer for The Spirit looks like complete and utter shit; with that said I still believe you should ban this fucker from ever posting another review on your site. It was pretty unreadable, like worse than the script from Battlefield Earth.
I agree with Chuck. by monolithik	Dec 15th, 2008 04:34:11 AM
Jon, if you ever find a brick wall behind you... I'd run, because that means there are bottles being thrown at you from the opposite direction.
I get this sneaking suspicion that we all know by gotilk	Dec 15th, 2008 04:35:48 AM
.. for the most part, the difference between actual rape and what this guy is talking about. But let's all go with the feeling and rock on with our righteous selves. Ooh, this kinda feels nice. I feel smarter than the people who can't grasp the concept as anything but literal AND I feel good about being a guy that thinks rape is a bad thing. And in case any of you people with post-enema trash bags for brains didn't know it, that's most of us. I'd like to throw some of you off a cliff. Oooh.. wait.. you guys know I don't mean it, right?
Something so cocky and annoying about this review... by THT3000	Dec 15th, 2008 04:36:19 AM
Ugh.
Since this review exists... by monolithik	Dec 15th, 2008 04:38:23 AM
Let's at least get a good internet meme out of it. C'mon. Anything? Anybody? Fuuuuck. I got nothing.
gotilk by neverhed	Dec 15th, 2008 04:39:20 AM
You're an idiot. It was pretty clear that the "reviewer" was indeed elucidating an incident in which his acquaintance was forcibly penetrated by an artistic (?) visual expression of archetypal human nature.
Shit thats harsh! by Power_Girl	Dec 15th, 2008 04:39:46 AM
In the trailers some of the shots are atrocious and some are gorgeous. I didn't think much of seeings that Frank has written some of the best "visual" novels ever penned. Judging by his comics I though he could stage a seen very well... seems not so well on film when he has a moving pace to keep up with.
Jondough by jebuslovesyou666	Dec 15th, 2008 04:40:37 AM
is a douche. I couldn't get passed him talking about himself, like any of us care. The Spirit just looks terrible and the dialog alone has turned me off, But if this guy is a giant TOOL. I actually feel angry about it.
this was the worst written review in this website's history by ironic_name	Dec 15th, 2008 04:40:39 AM

It's "Watchmen" not "The Watchmen" you fuck. by most excellent ninja	Dec 15th, 2008 04:42:15 AM
sounding all elitist then you say something stupid like that.
I hope it's so bad it's good by JoeSixPack	Dec 15th, 2008 04:44:10 AM
Unlike Elektra, which was so bad it was just boring. I hope The Spirit is so bad it's good and funny.
You've angered The Internet, Jon. by monolithik	Dec 15th, 2008 04:45:54 AM
Now look at what you've gone and done.
Jondough Raped Me. by neverhed	Dec 15th, 2008 04:47:36 AM
T-shirts, $15. Bold text on front. Entirety of his godawful review printed on reverse.
Vanity Project by JoeSixPack	Dec 15th, 2008 04:48:30 AM
I knew it as soon as I saw the teaser - disaster. One big vanity project for Frank Miller whose confidence in moviemaking was way too high. The funny thing is he royally screwed up someone else's source material. Miller swore off Hollywood long ago for screwing up his source material.
I SAID ENOUGH WITH THE 'RAPE' SHIT! by yodalovesyou	Dec 15th, 2008 04:48:32 AM
Your disappointment with a silly little movie simply DOES NOT compare to something as serious as that. In my mind, rape is worse than murder because it stays with the victims, leaving them mentally scarred for the rest of their lives. Time to grow up and stop being so pathetic.
Sounds as bad as Miller's modern comics by most excellent ninja	Dec 15th, 2008 04:49:26 AM
whatever happened to Dark Knight Returns, Year One, Born Again Frank Miller?
Entourage isn't funny? by most excellent ninja	Dec 15th, 2008 04:50:28 AM
huh? I'm pretty sure there are a few laughs here and there. if not mostly there. you must be a boring sack judging by this review and your comments. I am expecting this to be shit though.
I SAID ENOUGH WITH THE 'APE' SHIT! by neverhed	Dec 15th, 2008 04:51:07 AM
Your disappointment with the free (albeit unfortunate) expression of thought DOES NOT compare to something as serious as that. In my mind, large, wild primate feces is worse than murder because it stays in the air, leaving olfactory glands scarred for the rest of their lives. Time to grow up and stop being so pathetic.
Is this Devin Faraci's younger clone? by most excellent ninja	Dec 15th, 2008 04:53:23 AM
even though the movie looks shitty, the way this guy comes across is as a loser asshole like Fatraci himself. A sad sack of shit in life who is utterly boring. But this guy likes Dark knight so maybe i'm wrong.
I was with you.. but you lost me on no one remebering... by Kirbymanly	Dec 15th, 2008 04:54:30 AM
The Wonder Years. He was everyone's Dad. You lost me but, then again, I had no hope for this from the start. Robocop 2 anyone? Stick to what you know.
Now THIS is rape. by monolithik	Dec 15th, 2008 04:55:07 AM
If anybody knows what rape is, it's The Internet. It shows you what it is, not the other way around, okay?
Sometimes (this review, for example) by ledbetter51	Dec 15th, 2008 04:55:44 AM
...parenthetical asides can be really damn annoying when overused (maybe you should find a new trick).
"Samuel Laura Jackson"? by Catnip_Thieves	Dec 15th, 2008 04:56:34 AM
Okay, that made me chuckle.
Oh, and... Worst movie you've ever seen? by Kirbymanly	Dec 15th, 2008 04:57:15 AM
Try sitting through "Body Parts" or "Superman IV". I've got a feeling it's all relative.
"Wrong Kid Died!" by monolithik	Dec 15th, 2008 04:58:49 AM
I thought you should know what your reviews do, Jon. They kill people.
Try sitting through Epic Movie by most excellent ninja	Dec 15th, 2008 05:01:06 AM
THAT is the worst movie i've ever seen.
SIN CITY was over-rated - by geeks mostly by Mr Gorilla	Dec 15th, 2008 05:01:27 AM
Seriously , SIN CITY was a fun watch, a guilty pleasure, but it was never more than a mosquito's eyelid away from being trash. It has NOTHING to do with film noir, apart from being urban and quite dark visually. It's just unpleasant, and slightly the product of a dirty old man, salivating as he gets young actresses to wear nothing/pretend to be lesbian/get beaten up. Ugh.
Entourage DOES suck by Holy Hell	Dec 15th, 2008 05:04:43 AM
And cut this guy some slack. Jesus. He just got laid off, saw a movie he hates and wrote about it, actually got it posted here, and you guys are chopping his junk into kibble. I'm pretty sure he'd rather sit through The Spirit again than ACTUALLY get sodomized with a fuck stick (go watch Bad Santa again, btw); get over the rape thing. Wasn't all that great a review, but I give him some points for passion and a few more for pity. It's almost Christmas for God's sake.
Let's not give Miller a pass... by Kal Reeve	Dec 15th, 2008 05:07:59 AM
...just because he's a comic book writer. He deserves to be faulted because he is a self-serving writer. He doesn't write to a character's strength. Rather, he skews them, taints them with his perverse characterization. He first did this in the "Dark Knight Returns" by portraying Superman, the World's Greatest Superhero and fighter for truth and justice, as a corrupted tool of the government who is willing to kill. And over the past two years he has defaced Batman and numerous other legendary DC heroes with twisted depictions in "All Star Batman and Robin, The Boy Wonder." So it is not surprising that he is now sullying the good name of The Spirit.
Gorilla by Holy Hell	Dec 15th, 2008 05:09:22 AM
True. There were some creepy, atmospheric moments, but Sin City didn't really deliver. The whole "comic book come alive!" euphoria was more than a little overcooked.
This "review" gave me headache by DarthBakpao	Dec 15th, 2008 05:13:11 AM
I stopped reading after 3-4 paragraphs...
Geez that was a shit review by terryworld	Dec 15th, 2008 05:15:08 AM
i wont crap on and bore your tits off. Pathetic "review"...
5 comic con pannels by Redfive!	Dec 15th, 2008 05:17:56 AM
I remember sitting through 4-5 spirit comic con pannels only because it was usually in the middle of 2 good pannels and seeing this fat bitch producer who wouldnt shut her mouth and the funny thing was nobody ever cared enough about a spirit movie.please go away....
If i'm Harry, i'd delete this so-called review from my website by DarthBakpao	Dec 15th, 2008 05:18:00 AM
It gives nothing but self-important rants. STFU Jon!
Jondough. by monolithik	Dec 15th, 2008 05:18:36 AM
Remember this day; this talkback. Let it make you into a man. Let it fill you with the anger of a thousand suns... and then may you burn bright, born anew.
Trailer looked bad. by Fortunesfool	Dec 15th, 2008 05:20:39 AM
This doesn't surprise me. Although watching a bad film is nothing at all like being raped. That analogy really needs to stop.
I wonder... by neverhed	Dec 15th, 2008 05:21:16 AM
...if we've spent as much time discussing how shitty a reviewer Jondough is as he spent stroking himself to the anticipation of hitting "send."
Pardon my mistake. by monolithik	Dec 15th, 2008 05:21:42 AM
I called this a review. It manages to prattle on about several films -- why? Fuck all if I know. But it never manages to review any of them. It's a rant, not a review. My mistake.
This Guy Has Sucked 47 Dicks by Broseph	Dec 15th, 2008 05:22:36 AM
opinions are like assholes everybody's got one and they all stink
The mouse cursor came in handy - as in CLICK DOWN by Spacesheik	Dec 15th, 2008 05:22:39 AM
What a piece of shit review...totally uninformative, jumbled, had some good stuff in there like references to Paul Lynde and the Sam Jackson 'Black Nazi' and coke bit, but the reviewer is a shit writer trying to come off hip, sardonic and sly.
Worst Review I've Ever Read on This Site by Conans Sword	Dec 15th, 2008 05:31:22 AM
he hasnt got a clue how to articulate himself. all of that just to say it has bad acting. he clearly has an axe to grind with sammy jackson as well. And without getting on a high horse, the rape thing just makes you sould like an asshole.hope you fail at life and kill yourself
Conans Sword... by Kal Reeve	Dec 15th, 2008 05:35:14 AM
The rape remark was out of line and I don't fault you for calling the reviewer on it, but how do you justify your hoping that he kills himself?
There Is Nothing Positive Here. by monolithik	Dec 15th, 2008 05:35:14 AM
So let's talk about that Wolverine trailer some more. Ryan Reynolds in a red shirt? Oh man. What's the deal with that, am I right? That's no Deadpool...
How to say nothing and use many words doing it! by VoxMillennium	Dec 15th, 2008 05:36:38 AM
What the hell? I don't have high hopes for this movie, but calling it the worst movie of all time because the acting is bad and the directing is bad? Why? How? This reviewer comes accross as a self-indulgent prick and I don't like talentless hacks coming all over my keyboard uninvited and subsequently calling it a review.
Yeah, I don't think he saw the movie at all... by sonnyfern	Dec 15th, 2008 05:36:39 AM
What happens it? What's it about? It's so bad becauussee....people dress funny? It's a comic book movie..are you kidding me? I'll wait for a better review thank you very much...
Miller + Cocaine + Ego divided by Reality = Box Office Bomb by LaserPants	Dec 15th, 2008 05:39:17 AM
and career implosion. Oh well, Frank, it was a good run. You can always go back to making comic books. Perhaps something about a dangerously unhinged psychopath in a dark future and/or ersatz noir setting? How about an even gayer sequel to 300? Poor Frank.
300 words or less by Aeronaut	Dec 15th, 2008 05:42:26 AM
The powers that be on this site must really impose a word limitation on reviews. This self-undulgent wordfest is a classic example. I saw the trailer to this film and that was enough to convince me it was pants.
I'm 944 words into the review...do I keep going? by IAmMrMonkey!	Dec 15th, 2008 05:44:28 AM
Does he actually review the movie? I....don't...know....if.....I. ....can....make....it....
Oh he does. by IAmMrMonkey!	Dec 15th, 2008 05:45:23 AM
Here we go...
In all seriousness... by neverhed	Dec 15th, 2008 05:45:44 AM
...come on, AICN. I realize you pride yourself on publishing early reviews to the site, but at least wait for one that dabbles in coherence and, I don't know, projects the sense that the reviewer actually saw it. This review is a self-indulgent waste of time that ANYONE who has seen the trailers could have written. Anybody patient enough to wade through the first thousand words of this meandering pile of shit are left with nothing-- not a speck of an actual review. Not to mention, the "humor" was nowhere near effective or charming enough to allow the reviewer to coast through neglecting any real details about the film. And he's supposedly working or trying to work in film? FUCK. I don't mean to sound overly insulting toward the site, because obviously I still come here for something, but impose SOME standards on yourself, for fuck's sake.
This "Review" DOES Have Value... by monolithik	Dec 15th, 2008 05:48:31 AM
...There will be many classes taught from this page. Cautionary tales, all.
I agree Steve Rogers by smackfu	Dec 15th, 2008 05:51:35 AM
Personally, I feel a Holocaust comparison would be much more appropriate.
Or does he? by IAmMrMonkey!	Dec 15th, 2008 05:51:37 AM
Wait a minute. I could have written that review based on the fucking trailer. Jondough, you son-of-a-bitch, you stole minutes from my life and I want them back!
The reason why this cretin didn't send in anything... by JackPumpkinhead	Dec 15th, 2008 05:54:31 AM
...is that he cannot write. And the only thing he'll ever have in common with filmmaking and writing is exactly what he's doing, i.e. watching bad movies and imagining his would be better. This was the worst piece I've ever stopped reading, and I skipped half of it... not to mention the pathetic attempts to be funny, witty and sarcastic, and failing horribly every time. By the way, he should also be aware that inserting pitiful references to his life into his "reviews" will just make for another paragraph that everyone will skip. Whatever it is this "Jon" is doing, he should stick to it and never aim higher. He doesn't belong there. By the way, this made me think that maybe The Spirit will not be as terrible as I'm expecting. Since such a doofus said "it was bad!", then perhaps it's good, after all.
The reviewer tries to be funny, but failed by estacado1	Dec 15th, 2008 05:54:43 AM
What the reviewer said can be said in one paragraph. But in his lame effort to be funny, he extended it with meaningless rant to convince readers of his comedy skills. Next time, leave the comedy to those who know how to do it right. And what's with the reluctance to dissing Miller. Just because he's a geek god, doesn't mean he can direct. If he's the problem, then he's the problem. Don't divert it to the studios. Miller the is one who insisted on directing. His own ego destroyed his movie (if the review is to be believed). He certainly deserves what he's getting.
Honestly, the trailer for this looks like shit by Gungan Slayer	Dec 15th, 2008 05:55:12 AM
It really does. I heard Michael Uslan give a talk a month or so ago. The talk itself was really interesting (really cool guy) however, at the end of his presentation he showed a trailer for "The Spirit" and the audience itself was trying really hard not to laugh at it. Kinda felt sorry for the guy. As for it being worse than "Battlefield Earth" hmmmmm me thinks this guy hasn't seen enough movies yet.
By the way, this really should be removed from the site. by JackPumpkinhead	Dec 15th, 2008 06:03:29 AM
It's a disgrace, seriously. At least that piece that was once sent in about "Cloverfield" ("IT WAS AWESOME!!!", as far as I can recall) was amusing. There's nothing amusing or worth... well, anything... about this. "Jon" just came into your living room and dumped a big shit right onto the middle of the floor. There's absolutely no reason to leave it there.
Much like the psychic team member from Team America by smackfu	Dec 15th, 2008 06:07:04 AM
Because of my powers I was able to predict this movie would be terrible. In all seriousness though, as I've stated a few times on this site (in regards to Sin City, the Dark Knight graphic novel, and the Spirit trailer) I firmly believe that Frank Miller has the mental age of an 11 year old boy. I say 11 because at the age of 10 most boys haven't yet felt the pang of adolescent hunger, and by the age of 12 they've realized it's the 100,000 year old desire to run up behind a girl and ream her from behind while she fills a rudementary jug of water at the water hole, and has focused that adolescent hunger where it belongs, the pursuit of sex. But no, Poor Frank is stuck at 11. He feels the pangs of hunger, some vague, frustrating urge to express himself, but without the focus of a successfully completed puberty he has no idea why his dick is getting hard and what he's supposed to do about it. So when it happens when he draws a picture of a guy getting his skull crushed in with a steel toe boot, or a ninja cutting a torso in half, he finds some semblance of inner focus, and 40 years of repetition did the rest.
It looked like complete dross from the first frame of the traile by The Grug	Dec 15th, 2008 06:07:23 AM
No surprises here.
Miller sounds like hes been to the Lucas school of actor directi by wowsah156	Dec 15th, 2008 06:12:49 AM
Yeah, i just want you to do that acting thing you do SO good!! And pretend you are talking to a person. You can use that broom stick as a prop!! Frank Miller4 needs to be handcuffed to a chair and made to watch Revenge of the Sith and until he soils himself.
I have no doubt this is an honest review.. by MPJedi2	Dec 15th, 2008 06:26:10 AM
But A)Wil Eisner came up with this, and Miller just fucked it up. Really this has been obvious to anyone who knows the comic for months. THE SPIRIT culd be an great little film, a "daylight noir" with a tone akin to RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK. (Hero who is in just over his head, takes a beating and comes back for more, Filled with humor, but not cloying or winking at the audience.) B) Don't write a bad review and then whine about "all the ideas" you have...It makes you look like an idiot spewing sour grapes...Oh, wait...I forgot where I was posting.
Best Buy needs to rehire this guy quick! by BigGuy219	Dec 15th, 2008 06:26:36 AM
Man. I knew the layoffs at Best Buy would hurt the economy, but now that this guy isn't allowed to take the $10 for my DVD he's left to write self-indulgent, pathetic, seemingly endless reviews of bad movies I'm in favor of a bailout!
Frank Miller doesn't know how to work with actors.... by thecomedian	Dec 15th, 2008 06:29:25 AM
I picked up on this watching Sin City. It IS the same deal as Lucas. He's another thickheaded geek writer who's so in love with his unrealistic dialogue (no one talks like that) and doesn't know anything about the craft of directing actors in motion pictures. Kevin Smith has the same problem though he's gotten a little better over the years. Anyone who hasn't had the training or done the research(this includes music video douches who jump into features)will make these same mistakes. There's shit you can get away with on the stage, in commercials or on sitcoms that you can't get away with in features because when people go to the movies and stare at the silver screen for 2 hours they can tell when performances are one dimensional or off. Directing is a craft that lives and dies with your actors performances. All the cool special effects and shots in the world can't save that. Only Kubrick could get away with 1 dimensional performances and that's because most of his characters were cogs inside a machine.
oi stopped reading this shit review by HOUSTON500	Dec 15th, 2008 06:33:30 AM
when the reviewer, trying to be funny, claimed that samuel L played vincent in pulp fiction. uhhhhh, yeah. okay. if there's one thing worse than an unfunny fuckhole, its a badly researched one. so, to quote sarah silverman in larry sanders.... you must get laid like, almost never, huh?
plant! by 40ozToFreedom	Dec 15th, 2008 06:36:13 AM

And yes, I implied that the Dark Knight Returns graphic novel su by smackfu	Dec 15th, 2008 06:37:24 AM
and I stand by it. It does suck. You just don't realize it does, like the execs that put him behind the wheel of this film, you haven't really looked at the work very closely. Frank Miller sold snake oil to the comic industry back in his day, and that snake oil was the notion that he wrote 'mature comics'. Only his comics weren't 'mature' by any stretch of the imagination. They were just unusually violent and graphic. And we at the time, adolescents most of us, bought it, because adolescents, having spent our lives to that point dealing with very immature content, see the splattering brains and the tit shots and buy that snake oil, and drink it up like it's Father O'Hanley's Peach Schnapps, too dizzied by it's intoxication to question it. But Frank Miller's comics were NEVER mature. They were in fact the opposite, the adolescent meanderings of a horny 11 year old in English class, a tacky mash of rage and lust where the narrative is nothing but a tedium that he must plod through to set up his next skull bashing, castration, or hooker appearance. I'll give you this, Dark Knight Returns was the most mature thing Frank Miller ever wrote, and the idea of Batman as an old man was a novel idea, but that's all. If you can take of the rose colored glasses, and judge it on it's merit, you'll realize it sucks, and has sucked all along. It's only selling point was the concept that it was 'mature' content, and the years of corresponding experience has surely proven to you that you surpassed this man's maturity around the time you went to your Junior High prom.
WOOP WOOP WOOP HYPERBOLE ALERT! by The Amazing G	Dec 15th, 2008 06:44:29 AM
what is this? imdb? also tl;dr....seriously
and incase you think I'm defending this movie... by The Amazing G	Dec 15th, 2008 06:46:49 AM
let me just say.....not necessarily, but anyone claiming a movie is "the worst movie they've ever seen" instantly negates their review in my opinion no matter whether the movie in question is good or bad, it's just too imdb-y for my tastes
"I stand, wearing my v-neck sweater over button-down shirt." by Guy Who Got A Headache And Accidentally Saves The World	Dec 15th, 2008 06:47:35 AM
Which will be worse, the movie or the review? Not suprised at all that Hercules is the cause of this shit being put up.
Eva Mendes shows her ass in this? by Magic Rat	Dec 15th, 2008 06:48:01 AM
sold!
Trazadone deems this review the worst he's ever seen by Trazadone	Dec 15th, 2008 06:50:14 AM
I have no doubt that The Spirit is awful. I mean, from the ugly-ass posters to trailers giving the impression that the entire film was shot in a YMCA, this looks like one huge bomb. But damn, Jondough, you're writing is just awful. It's wordy and laborious to get through. Stating that you've already written "944 words" before starting the review to be cute is not cute, it's grating. I couldn't even get through your "review" because it's a complete mess - did you go to the Harry school of movie review? Get to the point, man!
Fine, I won't use the word rape. by ChuckImania	Dec 15th, 2008 06:50:53 AM
I was molested by this review... and unlike Uncle Jim, Jondough didn't even toss a GI Joe my way when he was finished. Treachery... In all seriousness I'm sure people on this forum can distinguish between physical rape, and the mental rape endured after reading this "review".
WORST REVIEW EVER ON AICN by Playkins	Dec 15th, 2008 06:51:22 AM
Seriously.... second only possibly to the infamouse Batman Begins review that sparked the "has a beer and cheets on his wife" bullshit. I mean, FUCK... that guy rambled INCESSANTLY. Please, Harry... for the love of god, don't post another one of his reviews.
what is "has a beer and cheets on his wife" thing from? by The Amazing G	Dec 15th, 2008 06:56:44 AM
I'm afraid I don't know
Who the fuck is this guy? by Psycho_Kenshin	Dec 15th, 2008 06:57:16 AM
This guy's a fuckin' joke. The material in The Spirit trailers alone is more entertaining than half the movies out there. Eight of everything, muthafucka!
Got through 1/4 of the review, by the new transported man	Dec 15th, 2008 07:00:27 AM
then I got a case of the shits & had to dip out. This reviewer is either a dork or a genius.
Words without a framw by CanuckCritick	Dec 15th, 2008 07:00:36 AM
After reading for 30 precious minutes that I'll never get back, I still don't clearly see WHY it's SUCH a bad film. It'd be fun if such articles bore the fore-warning "reviewer is fishing for a job at AICN - he even blatantly SAYS he was recently laid off (and we sympathise with his former employer)".
So I should see the Spirit? by spectrebeeyatch	Dec 15th, 2008 07:04:34 AM
somehow that review sold me on the movie. I mean what else am I going to do on X-mas anyway? Might as well see a bad movie.
what a horrible review, is this MiraJeff with a new name? by Spandau Belly	Dec 15th, 2008 07:05:52 AM
This guy just came off as the worst most unlikeable stereotype of film student wannabe ever. What was the point of that whole top movies of the year? To let us know this guy likes the same stuff everybody likes? And bashing Paz Vega for playing a French woman? It's called "acting" because you play somebody else. Why don't you blast her for not playing somebody named Paz Vega while you're at it? Man, this was the worst review I've read in ages. It makes me want to see this twice just so that it makes loads of money and cheeses this guy off.
This is fuckin' hilarious. by Psycho_Kenshin	Dec 15th, 2008 07:08:39 AM
Either the guy who posted this is a robot built out of a goddamn toaster, or he's just the biggest idiot ever. If I meet this man I will go Midnight Meat Train on his sorry ass.
You clearly don’t have any idea what you’re doing. by TheNewAddiction	Dec 15th, 2008 07:08:53 AM
Anyone could have known that by simply reading one of his comic books. This doesn't surprise me at all, people listen to their own hype and then over extend themselves into areas where they have no business.
That's The Best Review I've Ever Read! by Brody77	Dec 15th, 2008 07:09:42 AM
Fuck Frank Miller! But I'll still skip through it on dvd cos I love Eva Mendes!
The Review by Gunslinger1919	Dec 15th, 2008 07:09:45 AM
Whether I agree or disagree with this review, at the very least I am sure, just from the trailers, that Miller isn't being even the least bit respectful to Eisner's characters or sensibilities. So, I said it once, and I'll say it again....I pray to god that 5 years after you die, Frank, Paul Reubens gets the rights to one of your babies....or Joel Schumaker decides to bring one of your characters to vivid life with nipples...maybe then you'll roll over in your grave like Eisner's doing right now. --G
That was probably the worst by Rat Fink	Dec 15th, 2008 07:11:37 AM
fucking review I have ever read. Just say the movie sucked and why it sucked. I don't need to know why you have Battlefield Earth and what you do on a Friday night. God Damn I'm gonna go shoot myself after reading that shit.
What's wrong with Pee-Wee Herman? Nothing! by Psycho_Kenshin	Dec 15th, 2008 07:13:05 AM
I'm sure Frank would love it if Pee-Wee worked on one of his properties. And Joel's done some bad things, but he's a decent guy! Frank Miller can literally fuck Eisner's cold dead corpse, and it would probably be a good watch.
Tom Cruise wrote this review, didn't he? by tonagan	Dec 15th, 2008 07:14:56 AM
It opens the same day as Valkyrie, you know.
Am I the only one who remembers ROBOCOP 2? by Thick McRunFast	Dec 15th, 2008 07:15:37 AM
Miller got the writing credit on that one, and it was laughably bad. A friend of mine still says "You can't have any Nuke, bitch!" from time to time.
What happened to MiraJeff, anyway? by tonagan	Dec 15th, 2008 07:16:54 AM
I miss him (I'm not being sarcastic, either.)
Another d-bag who thinks he's funny by Harrigan	Dec 15th, 2008 07:21:44 AM
And no one cares about your backstory.
thanks WhinyNegativeBitch... by The Amazing G	Dec 15th, 2008 07:22:30 AM
I actually googled the phrase and found that article!
Alright, I have to say this before it gets out of hand.... by RockLobster800	Dec 15th, 2008 07:28:12 AM
the name of the film is Watchmen...not THE watchmen.Ive noted in every Watchmen talkback a shit load of people refer to it as THE Watchmen-the book is called Watchmen, it has always been referred to as Watchmen, and the film will also forever be known as Watchmen. Im sorry to be pedantic but I already had too much of people reffering to The Dark Knight as Batman:The Dark Knight this year, and Im not going to sit back for the next few months and have reviewers and people who are soooooo damn eager to see the thing get the name wrong.So everyone, just know this-there is no "the" in the title...its just Watchmen. Dont even get me started on Snyder feeling he had to call the characters in the book Watchmen, assuming that people would be too stupid to interpret the meaning if they just put in the literary referance at least onc...my apologies dudes, this the wrong place to vent
Self-absorbed prima-donna that likes to incessantly rant? by Shut the Fuck up Donny	Dec 15th, 2008 07:28:28 AM
He MIGHT have a career as a filmmaker, after all. Never post a review from this guy again.
I feel raped from all the references to rape by Sometimes I Guess	Dec 15th, 2008 07:30:04 AM
doesn't everyone understand by now that equating a film watching experience to rape is so 2003?
Gee this is so surprising by kafka07	Dec 15th, 2008 07:33:40 AM
And those trailers looked soooo promising.
Told you so. by Darth_Kaos	Dec 15th, 2008 07:36:32 AM
I called that first trailer, THE WORST TRAILER EVER MADE!, and now it looks to be the worst movie ever made. If anyone is surprised by that review, you must be one those people who also believe that Bush was a great president. Come on guys, this had failure from the get go! Frank is, and has always been an overrated fuckhead. Just because of Sin City (like the reviewer said) he co-directed (hahahahahah) and with the success of 300 (which is one the worst movies IMHO - Hopefully Zach will redeem himself with Watchmen) qualifies Miller to Direct. The ego on that prick. Shame on all the established actors who participated in that piece of shit and I hope all their careers are damaged from this point. The unknown star of the movie (whatever his name is- that poor bastard) will pretty much be at the same rank prior to this movie. Shame on Lionsgate! Punisher: War Zone bombed, and this will as well. If it wasn't for the SAW movies, they would be out of business right now. Wake the fuck up Hollywood! Stop thinking you can put anything out and everyone would want to see it!
I was raped by Sometimes I Guess' post. by tonagan	Dec 15th, 2008 07:37:14 AM
And this post is the equivalent of me sitting in the shower, fully-clothed and crying.
Fuck You Frank Miller by Laserhead	Dec 15th, 2008 07:39:53 AM
Hah. A first movie that kills his film career is perfect. Was there any doubt this was going to suck corpse-balls after hearing the dialogue in the trailers? Fuck you, Frank, you fucking coked-up hack.
Damn You Michael Bay by MCMLXXVI	Dec 15th, 2008 07:42:06 AM
Damn You Michael Bay
Psycho_Kenshin by IAmMrMonkey!	Dec 15th, 2008 07:42:35 AM
Loved your post dude. Not only did it contain the line "the guy who posted this is a robot built out of a goddamn toaster" which I'm guessing is a BSG reference (although I'm not quite sure what it means) but you also threatened to go Midnight Meat Train on him which is also my new threat (I'm fond of telling the neighbor's dog I'm going to "go Midnight Meat Train on you if you come near my lawn"). Get off my lawn!
Love Liza is great. by Stuntcock Mike	Dec 15th, 2008 07:43:28 AM
"I am a big fan of radio control!"
Has MCMLXXVI ever said anything else? by IAmMrMonkey!	Dec 15th, 2008 07:43:47 AM
Dude, don't you get tired of writing the SAME thing over and over and over again? You've got persistance, I'll give you that, but isn't it a chore now?
Robocop 2 might not have been Miller's fault by Laserhead	Dec 15th, 2008 07:45:06 AM
But every comic he's 'created' the last 18 years is.
DerLanghaarige by Thick McRunFast	Dec 15th, 2008 07:45:32 AM
Enough of Miller's script was there for him to get credit; he also got credit for ROBOCOP 3 -- was he railroaded there, too? Or is it possible that Miller doesn't understand the nuances of writing in different mediums? What I've heard come out of the actors' mouths in the trailers would be kitschy-cool in a graphic novel, but on film come off as unintentionally hilarious.
Let's Just Stop With The Raping by IAmMrMonkey!	Dec 15th, 2008 07:45:54 AM
I'm not talking about AICN here but the world beyond. All you potential rapists - just stop for god sake. You're hurting people and destroying lives. So please stop.
This isn't a movie review... by Raindog789	Dec 15th, 2008 07:49:06 AM
...it's a fucking head trauma with a side of gastrointestinal distress topped with flesh eating herpes. If watching The Spirit is like getting raped, then reading this "novel" is what it must be like watching Carrot Top perform at Auschwitz. I have 5 words for you Jondough.."Get to the fucking point"
Review is actually quite clever by Bass Ackwards	Dec 15th, 2008 07:53:22 AM
Reviewing a movie that's terrible to sit through by writing a review as equally terrible. Talking about a movie thats a vanity project for Miller by making a review that's a vanity project. Movie's bad dialogue=review's pathetic attempts at clever. This guy is brilliant!
I Deem jonDoughs review of the Spirit the worst review I've ever by clockwork-kid	Dec 15th, 2008 07:53:46 AM
How many times can one guy use the word "Seriously?" It seemed to be all about Jon, trying to be clever, and not one ounce of ANYTHING that happend in the movie...We get how much you hated it, and how bad you thought the acting was, but can you use an example? It begs to question, did he even see the movie at all? I mean....Seriously?
IAmMrMonkey! by D_T	Dec 15th, 2008 08:00:27 AM
I'm convinced MCMLXXVI is an escaped sophomore Scripting 101 project - there can't be any human presence behind it after all this time.
WHAT THE FUCK?! People dissing Robocop 2? by most excellent ninja	Dec 15th, 2008 08:03:23 AM
aintitcool never ceases to shock me but there will always be 3 or 4 fuckheads who are so boring they rag on something awesome. the kid with the suitcase gun, Cain, robocop walking in with the machine gun in the auditorium, smashing cains brain, using a deflection to save the baby. awesomeness. fuck you.
Reading the review... by seanny_d	Dec 15th, 2008 08:04:32 AM
I was thinking to myself "This review can't be THAT bad, can it? I must just be tired this morning." And then I read the talkbacks and discover that, yes, this is the worst review I've ever read. Wow. I can't believe I made it through the whole thing.
Appreciated by Cobbio	Dec 15th, 2008 08:06:16 AM
Thanks for the review, Jondough. Yes, you had a lot to say, and maybe you could've said it in fewer words, but I enjoyed it. Then again, my power's out for the third day in a row, I'm sitting here wrapped up in a blanket, and I had huge nagging suspicions about "The Spirit" after the first trailer. To me it looked stupid and pretentious as hell. Even the scenes they showed, with hot babes, swashbuckling music, and abundant Sin City-ness, rang hollow as hell. So thanks for the review. Rather than soiling my brain with horrid, shit-tasting cinema I'll never be able to unsee ("Battlefield earth"), I'll skip this one altogether.
Hopefully this guy gets raped soon. by kiddae	Dec 15th, 2008 08:07:52 AM
You too, Hercules. Oh, you didn't write it? You ran it without comment though, you fat piece of shit. You are - A Worthless Dripstain!
I like Robocop 2 by kafka07	Dec 15th, 2008 08:10:16 AM
It had much of the same cynical futuristic dystopian wittiness the first movie had. It was Robocop 3 that sucked.
Ignoring the Review, But Back to the Movie... by Aquatarkusman	Dec 15th, 2008 08:11:21 AM
... this may be the funniest movie Sam Jackson's been in since National Lampoon's Loaded Weapon. The fact that the TV commercials for it are USING CHRISTMAS MUSIC TO PROMOTE IT (because of its release date) should tell you that we are dealing with a producing and directing team capable of Onion-level satire.
Robocop 2 Was Fine... by Aquatarkusman	Dec 15th, 2008 08:13:31 AM
... as long as Tom Noonan had corporeal form (he was a great villain as Cain). Once he became the Lawnmower Man inside of the robot body, it was simply a re-hash of the ED-209 showdown in the first Robocop, but with a brain involved.
let's keep this reviewer busy by Datascream	Dec 15th, 2008 08:14:43 AM
with OTHER shit so he won't write anymore "reviews". I mean come ON. How long does it take to get to the fucking point (I mean come ON, I mean REALLY). It's one thing to rant (but it's another thing to use "()" this shit all the fucking time!), but there's another thing about writing it all out for an entire "review". There's a time and a place for ranting, it's called chat and conversation.
Reference This by BackwardGalaxy	Dec 15th, 2008 08:19:40 AM
All the women in the room, look to your left... now look to your right... Statistically speaking, the odds are that one of these men will rape you. "I'm not going to rape you." "I might." Seriously, we needed an 80,000 word review to tell us this was bad?
I'm throwing both my shoes at jondough by Internet Thug	Dec 15th, 2008 08:23:21 AM
first review i have ever walked out on. btw the magna carta is still in one piece nearly 100 YEARS IN THE FUTURE.
The ROBOCOPs @ Rotten Tomatoes: by Thick McRunFast	Dec 15th, 2008 08:24:29 AM
ROBOCOP: 85% fresh, ROBOCOP 2: 33%, ROBOCOP 3: 5%. Yeah, I'm really off-base saying the sequels sucked.
"People are going to see this movie (granted, not many)" by jae683	Dec 15th, 2008 08:32:00 AM
He does know he's talking about American audiences, doesn't he?
I choked on that review by greenstyle92	Dec 15th, 2008 08:32:53 AM
I came here wanting to figure out what happened to the Spirit, (one trailer we universally condemned then nothing until "it drops Christmas." What the-?) and I couldn't even get a good idea of the film from this so-called review. It's more about celebrating the reviewer's so-called "cleverness" than actually discussing the film. I don't even have a good idea what the main complaints are. (Sam Jackson in a nazi costume, a laughably bad lead, bad direction, but jeez, you should be able to expand on those points like an adult!) Just goes to show that we shouldn't promote reviewers from the talkback ranks. Hopefully someone who knows what they are doing takes a crack at this film so I can know how and why it sucks.
Not since Randall recommended a movie... by V'Shael	Dec 15th, 2008 08:35:12 AM
has any review been so utterly worthless. I don't appreciate your ruse, sir. Your cunning attempt to deceive us, into thinking anything could be worse than Battlefield Earth without an advisory from the World Health Organisation. Or at least the CDC.
Why give MCMLXXVI shit for doing his thing by Guy Who Got A Headache And Accidentally Saves The World	Dec 15th, 2008 08:35:24 AM
The man has discipline on a level completely unknown to us mortals, we should be pining a medal on the sumbitch. Instead, we got people like Herc running things here, putting up crap like this review, who, I guess when you think about it, is also disciplined if you consider the strict regimen of horseshit he sticks by with every article he posts. It's like he's a talkbacker who got admin powers through some glitch or something.
BATTLEFIELD EARTH WILL NEVER BE REPLACED AS WORST FILM EVER. by alice 13	Dec 15th, 2008 08:36:00 AM
because there are actually living breathing human beings walking around out there (including the loonies that made it) that actually really really believe and accept this shit which was dreamt up by a schizophrenic on drugs is 100 percent truth.
Jimminy-Titty-Fucking-Cricket you guys need a life by Salty Dog	Dec 15th, 2008 08:36:30 AM
Have any of you noticed how much time and energy you've wasted reviewing SOME OTHER GUY'S REVIEW?!? At least he wasted his time (if you consider it that) ranting about a movie! You're wasting your time ranting about him!
Complaining about badly-written reviews on AICN by Thick McRunFast	Dec 15th, 2008 08:36:54 AM
You guys have read Harry's reviews, right?
Dear God by cocolopez	Dec 15th, 2008 08:38:08 AM
This "reviewer" only likes to hear himself talk- it takes forever for him to actually start tlking about the Spirit- and once there- instead of comparing it to Sin City which he sould have done (Miller's previous comic adaptation directorial effort and as the "reviewer" mentioned something that "looks like Sin City") he instead goes into boy-ain't-I-a-riot fantasy dialogue with the cast. This is the worst review I've seen on this site- and I see bad reviews here all the time. Also- unlike 98% of the brainwashed here- I'm not impressed when someone lists Dark Knight in their top ten as a sampling of their tastes. It was the most overrated movie of the year with an unbelievable charcater arc (Dent), a major character with no backstory or arc in general (Joker), an absurdly gruff talking Batman with no Batcave, a franchise frustrating switcheroo (Maggie for Katie), and for all its "darkness" a happy hey-everyone-is-good-after-all ending. Dark Knight was merely good- only for Ledger's performance- movie itself is a complete failure compared to Batman Begins and wasn't on the level of Iron Man.
Right-- how is this review any worse by Laserhead	Dec 15th, 2008 08:38:53 AM
than Harry's, which are almost indecipherable in their mangling of language and rank sentimentality?
The problem after sin city... by emeraldboy	Dec 15th, 2008 08:40:30 AM
is that all graphic novels are going to be shot that way. I didnt like sin city. Mickey Rourke was great though.
Miller hasn't even written anything good since book 2 of Sin Ci by johnnyg korrupt	Dec 15th, 2008 08:40:47 AM
Dark Knight Strikes Again was terrible, so so terrible and so has everything else since Sin book 2
AICN will gush all over this thing by GodMars	Dec 15th, 2008 08:45:11 AM
Sure, one of the "staff" will dump on it, but the rest will gush because they are dumb. Especially Harry.
The GODDAMN Spirit!!! by Thrillho77	Dec 15th, 2008 08:46:54 AM
Goddamn Miller is a hack!
'The Spirit' movie that could have been by sanzaru	Dec 15th, 2008 08:47:08 AM
Read and weep: http://tinyurl.com/67f35b
“Paul Lynde’s Halloween Special” by half vader	Dec 15th, 2008 08:47:12 AM
Oh my God. That's too awesome to be real. And thanks for that "anti-plant" smear/review. You're a suit from a competing company right? 'Cause you sure can't write... And where's Harry and the long-lost weekly DVD review anyway? I prefer that rambling to this. And I thought I could talk the leg off a chair!
well i liked it. by snaredrum	Dec 15th, 2008 08:47:17 AM
the review i mean, not the film. the film sounds awful!
Sometimes AICN posts extremely well written, thougtful reviews.. by Pdorwick	Dec 15th, 2008 08:47:30 AM
...and sometimes AICN posts reviews like this. Jesus buddy, don't quit your day job and if you're thinking about becoming some kind of writer... don't. I have no vested interest in the film but I do like reviewers to show at least a modicum of talent with their prose. Hang it up Hercules.
Oh come on, who cares about the actual movie by half vader	Dec 15th, 2008 08:49:20 AM
anyway? Surely not even Miller is interested in anything here beside those luscious girlies.
That reviewer writes like I talk by Thrillho77	Dec 15th, 2008 08:50:48 AM
Needless to say, I have no friends and now talk to a set of Star Wars Bend-ems that I keep on the shelf next to my computer desk.
Knew it. by UltimaRex	Dec 15th, 2008 08:55:45 AM
Just knew it.
sam jackson as vincent vega?! by thekylegassproject	Dec 15th, 2008 08:58:04 AM
not to pour salt in the open wounds from the raping YOU are taking for writing this review, jondough... but samuel l. played jules winnfield in pulp fiction. wtf man?
I refuse to believe it's worse than Battlefield Earth by I Dunno	Dec 15th, 2008 08:59:01 AM
I'm sure it sucks but it would have to come out of the screen, kick you in the balls and eat out your girlfriend to be worse than Battlefield Earth.
The NYC Comic Con panel was all I need to know. by knowthyself	Dec 15th, 2008 08:59:24 AM
Miller was so smug and self satisfide. He just grinned and said "I think we have something special here.I think we got it just right." You can tell the suits were sucking him off and that he just got into this gig cause he saw all of the hot ass Rodriguez was getting on the set.
that was a cheap shot... by thekylegassproject	Dec 15th, 2008 09:04:24 AM

No way the movie is more annoying than this review by milesdyson	Dec 15th, 2008 09:04:34 AM
What the fuck, man? WHAT THE FUCK?? Come on. Dude.
I WASN'T GOING TO SEE THIS ANYHOW by BurgerTime	Dec 15th, 2008 09:07:31 AM
I figured it was made to cash in on the Sin City crowd, and it sounds as though - thanks to this incredibly long winded and self-indulgent review (on AICN?? Really!?) that I was right. I'll catch it when it comes on TV. No, not pay. I'm talking network, baby.
Did somebody say Scarlett J. as a geisha? by Thrillho77	Dec 15th, 2008 09:08:47 AM
That is enough for a rental from me. And possibly even an solitary experience, sans pants.
Miller Backlash Is Out of Hand by The Funketeer	Dec 15th, 2008 09:09:12 AM
It's gotten to the point where I can't trust any negative criticism of Miller's work any more. Sure he's done some sub par work but not on the scale that people seem to imagine. I'll see it because I'm a Miller and an Eisner fan and judge for myself.
Worked in how you want to make movies and need a job by jimmy_009	Dec 15th, 2008 09:10:23 AM
Fucking weak. If you're constantly working in how you want to make movies into a conversation, chances are you are not and will never be in any place to make movies. Also EVERYONE has a ton of ideas. Whining about you just got laid off (read: fired) but how you have a TON of fresh ideas is doubly weak.
"The Worst Movie He’s Ever Seen!!" by wcme	Dec 15th, 2008 09:14:08 AM
Worse then "Superman Returns"? Worse then "HULK"? You have got to go a far ways off the road and into the swamp to beat that trifecta. HEROES villains that could remove my memories (and they used 'Bonami', luther!)would scrub my mind for days and not get images of Bruce banner, chained to a chair and his deranged father howling at the sky under spotlights while the army (who inexplicably let his dad in to see him) look on in stunned silence while the camera spins wildly overhead. And a Stalker Superman that, after telling the president at the end of II "I'm sorry I left. I wont let you down again"... takes off for 5 years (and tells no one!) in what I assume is his repaired rocket ship that sent him here, because as soon as he leaves the Yellow sun, he looses his powers, so now hes a mere mortal zooming through the cold vacuum of space and needs to breathe, eat, go to the bathroom, etc for 5 YEARS to and from a giant pile of rubble that was his home planet. Worse then THAT? Wow. that's an accomplishment!
My review of the review? by ByTor	Dec 15th, 2008 09:18:15 AM
EPIC REVIEW FAIL
Frank Miller pisses on Will Eisner's grave and we're surprised? by SpyGuy	Dec 15th, 2008 09:20:45 AM
After being burned by Frank Miller's crapgasm THE DARK KNIGHT STRIKES AGAIN and the first couple issues of ALL-STAR BATMAN AND ROBIN THE LONG-WINDED TITLE, there's no way I'm watching this until it airs on HBO that I'm already paying for.
A sigh of relief by fivezero	Dec 15th, 2008 09:21:41 AM
Now maybe Frank will go back to funny books, where he fucking belongs. plz & thnx.
ANTI-PLANT by Rolling_Stone	Dec 15th, 2008 09:23:36 AM
This guy is just a hater, and his review is more about himself than what he saw.
I fucking love this talkback! by moody by nature	Dec 15th, 2008 09:23:48 AM
Seriously it's degenerated into madness! Hell even poor MCMLXXVI is gettin' called out! Where's that Avatar dude to tell us all about the eye-ball fucking this review is gonna give us? Anyway fuck all that...From comingsoon: Stephen Norrington is "reimagining" The Crow. "Whereas Proyas' original was gloriously gothic and stylized, the new movie will be realistic, hard-edged and mysterious, almost documentary-style," Norrington said. FUCK THAT.
Movie can't be worse than this shit review by Mickguinness	Dec 15th, 2008 09:27:01 AM
Seriously, how many people are interested in hearing 1000+ words of nonsense about the reviewer's odd little world before we get to anything substantive about the fucking flick? I don't give a good goddamn about your bad movie night with your only 2 friends in the world, whom I can only assume are your cousins, parents or relatives of some kind. And as far as the person comparing this movie to the feeling of being raped, and the reviewer for passing that little nugget on, I have only this. YOU MY FRIEND, ARE AN ASSHOLE!
I think the real problem with The Spirit is... by knowthyself	Dec 15th, 2008 09:28:10 AM
...we all saw Miller getting suckered into the hollywood system. With our very own eyes. We saw Rodriguez gas him up. We saw 300 suck his GN's wang. All leading up to Miller thinking he could direct a movie. Its the very evils of the studio system to do this to someone. You get caught up in the hype and forget that in the end you have to deliver a competant product to audiences. I'm sure Miller had a great time fucking all the lead actresses but we get none of that pleasure. So if the film sucks its even worse because we saw this coming a mile away.
This Guy Is A TOOL! by HerbWestAustin	Dec 15th, 2008 09:32:23 AM
who gives a fuck what this arsehole thinks.
The Spirit (Movie) == LXG (Movie) by Squashua	Dec 15th, 2008 09:34:35 AM
In that both were adaptations of comic books that had nothing to do with the actual content of said comic books.
Harry's reviews... by V'Shael	Dec 15th, 2008 09:35:56 AM
Harry's reviews may be meandering pieces that go all over the place, but he doesn't have an editor, and no one is going to tell him "Hey, Harry. That bit stinks. Don't print it." It's his site, so he'll print what he's happy with, and frankly it'll be a miracle if his style ever improves because there's no impetus to change. But reviews like the one above, even if they are "exclusives", are selected and printed. Someone read this and decided "Yeah, that's good enough for AICN." So you're damn well right that the talkbackers will say "This is shit. Did you really think this was good enough to see the light of day? Could you not have done better?" Couldn't this have easily been replaced with "Industry insider-wannabe claims to have seen The Spirit. Rates it worse than Battlefield Earth, but blames the acting. Mostly." Did we need 1000 words of his shit? Really?
That review was painful to read. by Diagnostic	Dec 15th, 2008 09:36:37 AM
Jondough should get Frank Miller to write one for him. I am not a Frank Miller fan btw.
Jondough does not exist in this dojo by Cobra--Kai	Dec 15th, 2008 09:39:23 AM
Jondough if you're reading this then I feel kind of sorry for you because you're taking it bad off the talkbackers. But dude... that review was agony and told us nothing about the movie in question. Don't quit the day job (whoops I forgot, you don't have one).
Weed? by Coma Baby	Dec 15th, 2008 09:41:31 AM
Could this possibly be a "weed", the anti-plant? I couldn't finish this review. I do have the feeling this film isn't going to be good. But clearly this guy is unjustifiably full of himself, busting a nut to show how clever he is with the put-downs at the expense of, you know, content..
So, did this reviewer say anything about the movie? by Squashua	Dec 15th, 2008 09:41:33 AM
I mean, besides his opinions? Something to prove he saw it? I gave up on Frank Miller while reading All Star Batman.
Did you really think this was going to be good? by Mr Gorilla	Dec 15th, 2008 09:42:34 AM
I mean, it looks like the whole things got the vibe of those worse than useless voice-overs from SIN CITY.
Robocop 2 by kwisatzhaderach	Dec 15th, 2008 09:46:48 AM
was fucking terrible.
not the worst by triggermark	Dec 15th, 2008 09:47:13 AM
man, what about all that hatred in that review. Did that guy write the first draft of the script and now tries to blame someone (Lionsgate) who eventually fucked it up? Just came back from a screening and, yes its bad. There is terriffic bad acting in it, the guy who plays "spirit" has no presence at all, eva is beeing the hottest chic in years and yes, she shows her perfect ass in the movie. The Problem with it is, that it looks like "Sin City" for 10-year olds, no blood, no coursing, seems like a rating issue. Many people felt asleep during the screening because its lack of dramaturgy, the charakters are just so boring predictable and the jokes are just awful.
Triggermark does not exist in this dojo by Cobra--Kai	Dec 15th, 2008 09:51:35 AM
Thanks Triggermark. I just learned more about THE SPIRIT from your six lines than the whole of that snidey dissertation that Jondough inflicted on us. Cheers.
Brevity. by Gilkuliehe	Dec 15th, 2008 09:55:46 AM
Yup, its soul.
Hold Up There, triggermark by Mr. Winston	Dec 15th, 2008 09:58:38 AM
I'm sorry, but I just have to know how you managed to misspell (or misuse, I guess, though it's definitely misspelling) "coursing", "felt alseep" and "charakters" all while correctly spelling "dramaturgy". I don't think you used dramaturgy correctly, mind you, but the fact that you know that it's a word at all AND were able to spell it correctly in the context of your reaction... I think you broke my brain, triggermark. I think you broke my goddamn brain. In other news, I can't wait until AICN informs us that Jondough is actually Shane Black pulling one over on us. If that's the case, I will laugh. If that's not the case, this really does need to be deleted. For the sake of the site. Saying any more than it's awful and I agree with everyone here more than I've ever agreed with anyone on anything is pointless.
I don't know... by wampa 1	Dec 15th, 2008 10:00:31 AM
...but it sure smells good!
Doesn't matter if he is a plant or not. by mrfan	Dec 15th, 2008 10:04:22 AM
Come on,people. It really doesn't look that good.
Could this motherfucker be more in love with the sound of his ow by TheContinentalOp	Dec 15th, 2008 10:04:53 AM
This review is like 3000 words long and tells me next to nothing about the movie and never manages to entertain in its own right. Simply saying over and over again that a movie is shit does not explain WHY the movie is shit. This is the most self-indulgent thing I've ever read. (Tip: apologizing for being wordy does not excuse it.) I think I'm going to see The Spirit out of spite.
n voice. by TheContinentalOp	Dec 15th, 2008 10:05:35 AM
I'm a jerk.
n voice? by TheContinentalOp	Dec 15th, 2008 10:05:38 AM
I'm a jerk.
Worst review ever. by mr.brownstone	Dec 15th, 2008 10:07:52 AM
I was looking forward to reading it. A third in, before the real review even began, I started to get nauseous. When it got into the "dialogue" between Jackson and the costume lady my eyes started to bleed a little. You Jondough are the worst fucking writer I have ever read. You have the ability to turn rays of light into shards of glass. That's real power. Fuck. You.
YES!! YES!!! DOWN WITH FRANK MILLER!! by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD	Dec 15th, 2008 10:08:16 AM
GO THE FUCK AWAY, AND TAKE JAMES CAMERON WITH YOU.....CUNT.
All this guy talks about is the acting by barnaby jones	Dec 15th, 2008 10:08:40 AM
TELL US ABOUT THE FILM ! Does look shit though.
That is the worst written review by deanamatronix	Dec 15th, 2008 10:09:52 AM
I've ever read. Rambling bullshit. I gave up after the 'C'mon Sam Jackson, I mean come ON! Come on, come on, come on...'' Get to the fucking point.
Jondough must be a few ribs short by skimn	Dec 15th, 2008 10:09:55 AM
since he successfully blew himself with that review.
Saw a trailer for this by OptimusBob	Dec 15th, 2008 10:11:10 AM
at a screening of The Day The Earth Stood Still. (Which, itself is boring and UTTERLY pointless.) and from what I saw it looked like total shite,like a bad parody of sin city.
Did Frank Miller say something bad about Harry? by SomaShine	Dec 15th, 2008 10:13:12 AM
That's the only explaination for this review appearing on this site
Frank Miller sucks by j_difool	Dec 15th, 2008 10:22:36 AM

I'd rather read MCMLXXVI's review of The Spirit by IAmMrMonkey!	Dec 15th, 2008 10:25:42 AM
..than this one. At least MCMLXXVI's review would be short and to the point. Even if the point has nothing to do with the movie and consists of four words beginning with "Damn" and ending with "Bay". It would still be more informative than this 'review'.
Robert Rodriquez wrote this review by wash	Dec 15th, 2008 10:27:43 AM
It's well known he had a falling out with Miller.
Damn You Jondough by IAmMrMonkey!	Dec 15th, 2008 10:28:27 AM
Damn You Jondough
What a shit review by GilbertRSmith	Dec 15th, 2008 10:35:16 AM
I was gonna say the guy is doing a bad Seanbaby impression, but Seanbaby usually uses examples from the subject of ridicule to back up the ridicule. This is just a guy trying to show how funny he is while not really informing us about the movie very much. Nothing he said here couldn't be culled from the trailer and the wiki page.
Hopefully this movie will retire this style of film... by GrandMuffTarkin	Dec 15th, 2008 10:35:21 AM
Once for Sin City was plenty.
dont want to come across like a geek but... by Uridium	Dec 15th, 2008 10:36:11 AM
its just 'Watchmen' (loose the 'The') Great review, very enjoyable read. Thanks for the headsup about the Spirit film, I think most of us could already smell the steaming pile that was approaching.
Jondough was laid off... by BigFo	Dec 15th, 2008 10:37:02 AM
for writing a 6000 word performance review comparing the poor cashier to other bad cashiers in filmdom.
So our Christmas offerings are by skimn	Dec 15th, 2008 10:38:14 AM
Son Of Sin City 2: Color By Numbers Owen And Aniston Make Cute With Dog Tom Cruise And Half Of The British Acting Academy Take On Hitler...? Since it has one of those mid-'70s, WWII, what-if plots feel to it, I gotta say Valkeyrie, however the fuck you spell it.
Number of plot points referenced: Zero by GilbertRSmith	Dec 15th, 2008 10:42:22 AM
I seriously doubt this guy has seen the movie. If it's that bad, why not tell us why it's bad? Why just wisecrack about how desperate the actors must have been for ten pages? Why not tell us about what, exactly, makes Frank Miller's writing and directing suck? Why not mention at least ONE THING the movie does poorly? Why is the review so vague and non-specific? This seems like some uninformed angsty hipster using a popular movie site to rant about a movie he hasn't seen, but hates on principle. That's what Livejournal and talkback are for. This doesn't deserve to be the first Spirit review on AICN. This guy simply did not see the movie, and the review makes that painfully clear.
It's possible that the person never saw the movie. by JDanielP	Dec 15th, 2008 10:45:07 AM
I will read some official reviews before I decide if it's worth the time and money. (As far as I'm concerned, this person could be just another hater.)
Wannabe Directors by GilbertRSmith	Dec 15th, 2008 10:45:48 AM
This sentence makes it clear JonDough's another wannabe director who's jealous of guys like Frank Miller and Quentin Tarantino "Those no talent hacks who get all the breaks". "You should know better. And if you don’t, I just got laid off, and I’ve got TONS of ideas. And none of them involve hiring a visually-overindulgent, first-time director and throwing $30 million at him" JonDough, if you've got such great ideas, make a fucking movie. It doesn't take a "Big Break" to make a low budget flick.
I'll be checking out David Fincher's latest. by JDanielP	Dec 15th, 2008 10:48:12 AM
But I remain curious as to what Frank Miller has done.
Scarlet may be hot, but she is a HORRIBLE actress by ShiftyEyedDog2	Dec 15th, 2008 10:48:45 AM
...possibly one of the worst working today. Wooden delivery, complete lack of emotion... whether it's a deep drama or a comic book flick, this chick is awfu and should not be working.
Get a life. All of you. by kesoze4	Dec 15th, 2008 10:49:06 AM
The dude was lucky enough to see an advanced screening, which all of us would go to, and he hated it and decided to share his opinion. Don't like his writing style, I'm sorry, but the number of people saying that the review was a "waste of time" is hilarious given how there's not much greater a waste of time in general out there than visiting movie review sites. So damn easy to criticize via a 20-word talkback post, but given the general level of coherence in most of your BS, I'd bet good money that none of you could write a better review. Shut the F#&A UP and just say "thank you for letting me not waste my money".
kesoze4 by GilbertRSmith	Dec 15th, 2008 10:50:54 AM
You're allowed to use the Fuck word on this site. And I didn't call it a waste of time, I just said that the guy didn't see the movie. I know I'm just killing time here, and part of that includes bitching about total shit reviews. Just like, hey, part of that involves bitching about people bitching about those reviews! LOLOLOL! IRRRRONYYYY!!!!
The Spirit will be amazing! by nyhillbilly	Dec 15th, 2008 10:52:58 AM
This is bullshit as far as I'm concerned! Frank Miller is a genius with his new way of portraying comic books. I dont care if people think this is not as true as it could be...there is no way any other director could make The Apirit in the way Frank Miller will! He know how to not only make the characters come to life but he stays true to the story6. This review is totally lame,he has no idea what makes a great comic movie... this movie will be so cool- I can't even wait the 10 days till it comes out!
I don't care about his horrendous writing style... by BadMrWonka	Dec 15th, 2008 10:53:37 AM
I'm just wondering why such an angry review by someone who just got laid off and has zero proof in his review that he actually SAW the film, gets published? couldn't anyone with a little creativity and an axe to grind have written this without seeing the film? I'm asking honestly, AICN...
so that’s a taste of my taste. Just so you know where I’m coming by Odog	Dec 15th, 2008 10:58:05 AM
er...my shit filled arse?
RE: "Has MCMLXXVI ever said anything else?" by Mr. Nice Gaius	Dec 15th, 2008 10:58:26 AM
Yes, he has. A long time ago before he became AICN's token one-trick pony. I can't wait for his head to fucking explode when TRANSFORMERS 2 comes out. It's going to be magical. Oh, and the TFers Talkbacks, let's not forget those!
This was print-worthy? by epitone	Dec 15th, 2008 10:59:07 AM
I'm amazed I read as far as I did. If I got through the entire thing I only would have been enabling this idiot in his logorrhea.
As for THE SPIRIT... by Mr. Nice Gaius	Dec 15th, 2008 10:59:32 AM
...ZZZZZzzzzz...
Sounds like a clusterfuck I cant wait to see by D.Vader	Dec 15th, 2008 11:00:50 AM
Sam Jackson the Samurai Nazi is bizarre enough to get me in the theater.
Re:Xmas moovies by skimn	Dec 15th, 2008 11:01:50 AM
Ooooops forgot about Benjamin Button...never mind... Kesoze4, I wasted several vital seconds of my life reading your screed. Fuck off now.
GilbertRSmith by kesoze4	Dec 15th, 2008 11:02:06 AM
Yeah, I know damn well that I can swear, just actually choose not to. Somehow a good F@#$! can come off funnier than actually writing it out, while the latter just generally makes people come off as sounding immature. Then again, I'm participating in this pointless thread, so clearly I have no ground to stand on. I hope everyone here who thinks the dude is somehow lying goes and sees the movie anyway and gets exactly what they deserve. Awful superhero movies produced by companies who don't give a F#%& about their audience definitely deserve far more discussion and higher financial rewards than actually terrific movies like, oh, say, Slumdog Millionaire.
Fine, so let's say The Spirit sucks... by GilbertRSmith	Dec 15th, 2008 11:08:02 AM
That doesn't change the fact that this review is obviously written by someone who didn't see it. If it sucks, the first real review will inform us of that. This guy doesn't tell us why it sucks, he just makes a bunch of bad jokes that have nothing to do with anything. You could switch out the names and titles and so on with any other movie in the world and it would read exactly the same. It's not that I'm trying to stick up for The Spirit, I'm just wondering why in the hell AICN doesn't read their reviews before they put them online.
Bad review by masteryoda007	Dec 15th, 2008 11:09:02 AM
Made me want to top myself. Enough of the rape refernces already. These weirdos are really hung up on using the rape phrase. Hopefully one day Big Bubba will be sharing a cell with you and you can experience the bright and cheery nature of rape first hannd. What a bell-end.
In other words... by GilbertRSmith	Dec 15th, 2008 11:09:48 AM
Saying that Slumdog Millionaire deserves more attention (it does), is beside the point when the topic of the discussion is AICN's policies regarding which reviews to take seriously. Not even Entertainment Weekly would print this review.
Will see it... twice by vineethchacko	Dec 15th, 2008 11:12:06 AM
Any review that goes like this one should 1) never be hosted on this site. 2) be saved as an example of the type of person we should never become. 3) Be enough proof that this movie is worth a watch.
I have a collection of articles at home by ArcadianDS	Dec 15th, 2008 11:12:23 AM
Most of them are archived H.L. Menchen, Andy Rooney, and Louis Grizzard articles. I keep copies of them because it helps me define and refine my thoughts on what a good article should look and feel like. And then I have a copy of this review, because it is the literary equivalent of Battlefield Earth.
I talked to MCMLXXVI once.... by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD	Dec 15th, 2008 11:17:36 AM
...it was like 6 months back in the middle of the night. He broke down and explained its hard resisting the urge to jump in on a TB. But he's gotta stay true to himself. I swear to Christ.....thats what he said.
Fuck! Hire Jondough already, whydon'tcha? by NivekJ	Dec 15th, 2008 11:20:43 AM
If this fucker releases reviews that good every few years, they're worth their length. Give him an account and a paycheck: I need reading material during work. C'mon guys, there's a recession, and I could use the laughs. All TBs hail Jondough (and as for The Spirit, I'm honor-bound as a Bad-Movie-phile to go see it. I know shit when I see it [DTESS doesn't count - in my view, mediocrity is far worse than bad as it's unenjoyable]).
As for MCMLXXVI by vineethchacko	Dec 15th, 2008 11:22:27 AM
He's committed.... only prob is he seems to be committed to posting his special credo in every talkback until the end of his days. or the end of MB's days. One or the other - must be like a vow of talkbacking.
2,623 words wasted by Kurutteru Yatsu	Dec 15th, 2008 11:23:56 AM
On a film nobody was excited about to begin with. This talkback has already entertained me more than everything I've seen of The Spirit combined.
Even Harry thinks wishes this guy got to the point!! by BobParr	Dec 15th, 2008 11:27:57 AM
Please feel free to tell me more about yourself. Most interesting.
Wow! Surprising posts by Homer Sexual	Dec 15th, 2008 11:30:02 AM
When I clicked, I expected to see some people defending the Spirit, but not this many. I find this review very amusing. The previews are so wretched, I figured this is gonna be bad. But now I have more interest in it, to see if it is really THAT bad. And also because so many people seem to be hardcore Frank Miller fans, even though (because?) he's been clearly bonkers for years.
So, the trilogy of craptastic movies is complete. by Motoko Kusanagi	Dec 15th, 2008 11:31:54 AM
The Spirit sits proud between Battlefield Earth and Speed Racer. Congratulations.
HIRE CARL WEATHERS! by DeweyOxburger	Dec 15th, 2008 11:31:58 AM
Shit, I thought I was on 'The Expendables' talkback...carry on with your rape and Robocop chatter...
How to write a good review... by Lost_Horizon	Dec 15th, 2008 11:33:22 AM
1) Have something interesting to say. 2) Get to the fucking point already. 3) Avoid references to your "buddy's" rape fantasies. Err, I mean "insightful analogies". 'The Spirit' PROBABLY is a terrible movie. That WAS a wretched review. Pee-yuu.
This guy likes watching bad movies by Rupee88	Dec 15th, 2008 11:33:58 AM
Anyone who has a "bad movie night" loses a lot of credibility. I don't doubt that The Spirit is not a great film, but it sounds like at least it maybe tried to be...better than most of the contrived, derivative sh*t that comes out of Hollywood constantly.
Hey at least the style is new. Love the comic book B/W feel. by Damien Chowder	Dec 15th, 2008 11:36:27 AM

fake outrage by soup74	Dec 15th, 2008 11:39:52 AM
why do people get all bent out of shape when someone uses a word, like 'rape'? yes, rape can be a horrible crime, but it can also be a descriptive word for something horrible happing to someone. when someone says something is 'a cancer on society' do you get all bitchy because cancer is one of the biggest killers in america? no you do, and if you do, you're an idiot.. quit pretending like you're offended..and if you are really offended.. grow the fuck up. who gets offended by words? (no matter what they imply.)
MCMLXXVI does not exist in this dojo by Cobra--Kai	Dec 15th, 2008 11:40:58 AM
MCMLXXVI used to speak. Words flowed from his mouth like cherry petals in June. But then the dark one came. The shadow of Michael Bay fell upon him. And MCMLXXVI spake no more.
jondough is a douche by kingmercury	Dec 15th, 2008 11:41:08 AM
god what a crap review, you bitter little shit. im sorry your stuck making fries at fucking burger king and haven't gotten your big shot yet! I could have crapped out a better review than that. you told me nothing! except how small minded and retarded you are. on a side note. i think half the problem with this film is history..history of 300, and sin city. look this isnt his creation. and I think the marketing and his background is setting people up to be disappointed. I never read the spirit, i love comics but it never looked interesting to me. I sense the more comical nature of it was inspired by the comics I could be wrong. maybe it will suck I dont know, but dont base your decision to go on this turd burger jondough. I love this site but honestly sometimes people like this ruin it for me.
Scene by kesoze4	Dec 15th, 2008 11:47:00 AM
The level of defensiveness around a movie no one really cares about is staggering. He didn't see it? Okay, after paying to go see it, all you bright, talented writers who are in no way "bitter little shits" yourselves please let me know how fictional this line of Jondough's is: "Seriously, how on Earth could they know that your idea of direction is to place the camera on a tripod and have your two actors walk back and forth for five minutes in front of a dimwit committing seppuku?" If there's no terribly paced seppuku scene in the movie I'll freely admit I was wrong and you cheerful, bright, highly creative folk are right, and will pay money to go see The Spirit. In the meantime a big thanks to all of you for contributing so much to this world.
Whoa Johndough! by DarthJedi	Dec 15th, 2008 11:50:03 AM
That was intense. Funny, though. I had the exact same feeling after watching the trailer.
I stopped reading when he started his Sam Jackson sketch by slone13	Dec 15th, 2008 11:50:10 AM
I'm sure the movie's bad, but this "review" was fucking awful.
I'M SO MAD. by neverhed	Dec 15th, 2008 11:50:58 AM
As one of the first people who read and commented on this review, I can tell you, having gone hours without even being close to a computer: Your rage will only intensify. This review has undoubtedly given me cancer and brain AIDS.
Coco! by Lost Jarv	Dec 15th, 2008 11:51:09 AM
How's the music career coming along? And yes, I would like fries with my burger.
So what's the big deal with "The Watchmen" anyway? by Lost Jarv	Dec 15th, 2008 11:52:12 AM
It's not as if the funny book is any good. I bet this will be better.
you can say Miller is a crappy director but not a crappy artist by Rupee88	Dec 15th, 2008 11:58:36 AM
He did write and draw some very compelling comic books in the past. No one stays super talented forever. He has contributed more to our culture than any of you fuckheads. He just got in over his head with this Spirit thing.
Did this guy see the film? by Archive	Dec 15th, 2008 12:02:18 PM

The question is....who's a bigger hack? by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD	Dec 15th, 2008 12:03:03 PM
Frank Miller or Zach Snyder. Both claim to be artists, both claim to be directors, both do their own storyboards. Discuss. Both make nearly unwatchable films that would barely entertain a Golden Retriever.
I ask because... by Archive	Dec 15th, 2008 12:04:16 PM
...the only details about the movie in this review are the two main leads and the name of the director. And as pure trash-talk goes, this guy could stand to take some of that hard education from Vern...
560 Fucking Words BEFORE the Review? by Read and Shut Up	Dec 15th, 2008 12:05:10 PM
It's like this cartoon I saw the other day: MAN 1: I have nothing to say. I'm not interesting. MAN 2: You should blog it. Seriously Harry, if you're paying by the word I understand...otherwise, can SOMEONE on your staff get out the editing knife?
FUCK YOU. Who fucking cares how long this is? by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD	Dec 15th, 2008 12:06:53 PM
The movie looks like shit. This guys confirms it. Frank Miller....fuck off and get hit by a train.
I've Made my Decision by YakMalla	Dec 15th, 2008 12:09:27 PM
I'm going to see this. I'm sure it will suck. I'm just going as a protest to this horrible review. Jondough. Dude. You should NOT choose writing as a career. You want to work in film? Look into key gripping or something.
If the movie... by DocPazuzu	Dec 15th, 2008 12:12:47 PM
...is only half as bad as this review, it will still be unendurable. Christ, what an awful piece of work this thing was.
I Care, Craptwat. That's Why I Mentioned It. by Read and Shut Up	Dec 15th, 2008 12:14:41 PM
I don't care about the backstory, or what your motivation is. Submit a review and be done with it. And I wouldn't go so far as to wish Frank Miller impaled "Omen"-style, but he does need to walk away from the movie business at a brisk clip. Period.
neverhed by gotilk	Dec 15th, 2008 12:15:07 PM
You're right. My bad. How could I have missed that??
HEY MORBIDOBESITY WHAT'S UP ASSHOLE by BringingSexyBack	Dec 15th, 2008 12:24:14 PM
Not every movie can be great like You Don't Mess With The Zohan.
WHY DOESN'T MCMLVXXI REGISTER ANOTHER NAME by BringingSexyBack	Dec 15th, 2008 12:26:01 PM
Doy!
Hey Everyone I watch shit that is only available on VHS!! by Internet Thug	Dec 15th, 2008 12:26:41 PM
aren't me and my posse the retroest-hipster douchebags that ever bought a 6 pack of Dos Equis??
I DIDN'T READ THE REVIEW BUT I GATHER IT WAS BAD by BringingSexyBack	Dec 15th, 2008 12:27:40 PM
Trailers look shit. Not even ScarJo's titties can save this thing. And anything Eva Mendes appeared in has sucked.
LostJarv by cocolopez	Dec 15th, 2008 12:27:50 PM
Wow, some memory! Life must be pretty sad for you. Burger (my shit) is on the house- enjoy!
Worst review I've ever read by Giario	Dec 15th, 2008 12:28:42 PM
Please don't accept any more reviews from this clown. Seriously embarrassing. Reads almost as if this guy wrote it purely for his own amusement, then someone found it and sent it to AICN to humiliate the woefully-mediocre cunt. If that's the case then job done.
gah! by Dollar Bird	Dec 15th, 2008 12:28:51 PM
I was pretty please with this guy's writing untul he got to the Sam Jackson/Costume designer conversation. That's where the whole thing fell apart. I actually thought he did a better job giving "Battlefield Earth" a review than "The Spirit".
I lost myself... by rost	Dec 15th, 2008 12:29:19 PM
while reading this review. Hell, I even read the whole damn thing. There was no time anymore, no sound, no nothing; only the search for something about the movie...
A message to the reviewer... by Zeegloo	Dec 15th, 2008 12:32:02 PM
I will not proceed to rip you a new one, since everyone else already has. As somebody who has put a review on AICN, I quickly realized some sort of talkback reaction is inevitable (granted mine was pretty mild, but there was still some doucbebags in the bunch). However, I would find it pretty hard to believe that you wrote this review WITHOUT the TB in mind. I give you major props for having the balls to submit this review. Try not to get too tangled up in the angry chaos that has ensued... it really isn't worth your time. Most people here (myself included) need a hobby AWAY from the computer.
also: by Dollar Bird	Dec 15th, 2008 12:32:14 PM
An open letter to the girl in the Busted Tees ad with the piñata shirt that reads, "I'd hit that.": Indeed, your clothing's sentiments ring true with me, but I'm not thinking about your _shirt's_ piñata.
Seriously, someone should just slap Jondough in the face by Cameron1	Dec 15th, 2008 12:33:26 PM
Amen. Miller too though.
Dollar Bird by Zeegloo	Dec 15th, 2008 12:34:22 PM
I second that!
Yep. This guy's an idiot. by CoursinLarry	Dec 15th, 2008 12:34:49 PM
Guess what, dude. This review isn't going to be your big break. And it's been said by others before me, but I have to mention it. The rape comment was unfunny and inappropriate. Ask any rape victim. I bet they'd tell you that watching a bad movie is not the same.
Why this guy is a tool: by Raymar	Dec 15th, 2008 12:35:30 PM
I learned NOTHING from his ranting other than he thinks some of the performances are weak (and from what I've seen Sam Jackson looks pretty awesome) and its a little dark in some scenes (but apparently still gorgeous looking nonetheless) So how does that add up to THE WORST MOVIE EVER?! Ever see "Eye of the Beholder" or "Valentine", buddy? What about the plot, action, etc? And if he can't appreciate the awesomeness Jackson as a samurai or in the SS costume than he just has no imagination or creativity in his black heart.
What AmericanMovieFan said... by Anti-fanboy	Dec 15th, 2008 12:38:53 PM
And that's how I felt after just the first paragraph. Miller's stuff, as bizarre and exaggerated as it often is, always has the potential to strike people the wrong way. There was some great iconic imagery in the trailers, and that by itself has me looking forward to this.
...so by tearing into the review like this.... by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD	Dec 15th, 2008 12:40:10 PM
...its safe to assume you will all pay to see The Spirit, and you are hoping every film looks like this from now on? Oh good. Fuck off.
Sam Jackson: A one note, one trick pony. by uberman	Dec 15th, 2008 12:48:06 PM
Sam Jackson plays Sam Jackson playing Sam Jackson. Just cut and paste his roles-they're transferable. And as far as him being a believable hard core bad ass, I never bought it. He's not nearly as bad as he thinks he is. And the "Fucking Fuck Fuck Fuck" shit he gets to pass off as dialoge is getting stale. Just because it worked many years ago in 'Pulp Fiction' does NOT mean you resort to it in EVERY SINGLE FRIGGIN MOVIE ROLE SINCE THEN!!!! Sam, you have officially jumped the shark. Now take your gabillions of dollars and go play golf. Enoughs enough.
danny dick lover by cocolopez	Dec 15th, 2008 12:49:29 PM
that's some overshoot- from us panning a shitty review leading to us all wanting everything to look like carbon copies of Sin City. What's 2 x 2? 1,600? And why so angry? Is JonDough your Pony Boy? Were you the one he refers to left feeling raped- and was that before or after he pulled his cock out of your ass?
which is worse, the movie or this review? by BMacSmith	Dec 15th, 2008 12:55:21 PM
come on man, leave the funny to funny people. I don't care about your bad movie nights in your parents basement.
This Review Gave Me AIDS, by Tipsy McStagger	Dec 15th, 2008 01:03:14 PM
Killed my dog, turned my homework in late, caused global warming, killed John Lennon, robbed and beat an old lady, and elected George W. Bush president. Wait. It also just raped me.
Wow so this movie will rock! by theycallmemrglass	Dec 15th, 2008 01:06:37 PM
Or maybe it wont. But how the fuck can anyone take this reviewer seriously who enjoys a weekly marathon night of watching really bad movies? Who the fuck does that? Why? What fucking sense is there for doing that? What the fucking fuck?
review by DylanDenham	Dec 15th, 2008 01:08:23 PM
I feel like going to see this movie just becos the review is so wank, anyone who writes this badly can't know what he's on about. Maybe the guy who said Plant! was right...
there's real anger, there's shctick... by wash	Dec 15th, 2008 01:08:30 PM
and then there's DG_DB. Cock fuck cunt shit ass rape titties all caps WEEEEEEEEE.
Fucking Lemmings by Frankenbastard	Dec 15th, 2008 01:09:23 PM
Man you almost had me till you typed “as written and directed (hahahahahaha) by Frank Miller” then it just made you look like a 10 year old douche. I love the name dropping of your favorite films interwoven with summer pop movies. That coupled with the fact that you want to be a film maker screams that you’re just one of those twits that makes people cringe when you get up at Comicon and ask a director “ do you think Wolverine can beat up Batman?”. Your review of a film stunk as bad as the new The day the earth stood still and that my friend was right on par with Battlefield Earth. I’ll do what I always do, ignore what people are told to like and just judge for myself. It kills me how most of the freaks in the talkbacks have never even watched a film pre 1980 and then want to be film makers, good fucking luck. Go watch some real god damned movies for a change then have an opinion. Yea this film might be bad but Christ learn to write a real review.
ROTTEN TOMATOES LINKS TO THIS REVIEW by Zeegloo	Dec 15th, 2008 01:12:54 PM
My oh my... on the front page too
Really think he hasn't seen it? by Zeegloo	Dec 15th, 2008 01:17:46 PM
I mean I know that his review was awfully vague as far as actual details ABOUT the film itself go, but why would anyone put up a piss poor review for this one? Not that it isn't possible, just doesn't make sense...
That's right- by cocolopez	Dec 15th, 2008 01:18:39 PM
Rotten Tomatoes linked to the "review"- making it painfully obvious why Aint It Dull made such a hoopla over it and published it- to make a little noise. "So the review sucks wild ass- says next to nothing about the movie and is written by a hideous self-indulgent twit- who cares? It's spin! News! The early word on the street! Ain't it cool, guys? Ain't it GEEKY cool?"
Either way... by Zeegloo	Dec 15th, 2008 01:22:36 PM
He's gonna be a dead man if he tries defending himself in TB -_-
MorbidObesity by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD	Dec 15th, 2008 01:26:25 PM
That may be....but there are a ton of average movie-going people that check Rotten Tomatoes for reviews before seeing a film. So whether or not you believe this guy actually saw it-- this thing is fucked. Absolute fucking bomb. Bye bye Frank Miller, it was nice knowing you.
Might be the worst movie ever made... by DarthCorleone	Dec 15th, 2008 01:28:28 PM
...but enough with the rape analogy. It's more than politically incorrect. It's insensitive and offensive.
This review makes Massawyrm's reviews look good. by Leafar the Lost	Dec 15th, 2008 01:29:53 PM
After reading the worst review on AICN of all time, I feel a sense of betrayal, a sense of loss, a sense that somehow it was my fault. I have no idea who this Jondough idiot is, and I don't want to know. After his rape reference, I really don't care. If he wants to know what it feels like to be raped, he should go to a nearby prison on visiter day.
I've forwarded the review.... by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD	Dec 15th, 2008 01:30:00 PM
....to every entertainment/movie site I know exists. They should be up soon. DIE FRANK DIE!!
Damn by cocolopez	Dec 15th, 2008 01:33:31 PM
I knew there was a reason I stopped coming here. Time to leave again.
Get To The Fucking Point by topaz4206	Dec 15th, 2008 01:37:20 PM
Worst review ever made.
I wonder... by Zeegloo	Dec 15th, 2008 01:41:43 PM
Can a TB get so hateful and angry that AICN removes the review?
cocolopez - good, fuck off. by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD	Dec 15th, 2008 01:42:04 PM

Zeegloo by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD	Dec 15th, 2008 01:42:40 PM
They might remove it in a last minute effort to save Frank Miller's career. For some reason AICN is pulling for that cunt.
300 replies to a "poorly written review" by Magic Rat	Dec 15th, 2008 01:43:01 PM
the guy's writing skills aside, he accomplished his job in getting people to respond.
I stopped reading at... by SlyAndTheFamilyStallone	Dec 15th, 2008 01:49:03 PM
..."I still have my mutton chops from when I played Vincent."
yeah, when you have skits in your by vaudeville villain	Dec 15th, 2008 01:51:09 PM
movie review, it's time to call it a day. sorry to add even more to the growing pile of hate, but that was pretty terrible, guy. and really... who has weekly movie nights where you watch nothing but bad movies? i hope you find work quick, if for no other reason than the fact that you spend your free time in an incredibly lame fashion.
oh, but when i say those things, of course by vaudeville villain	Dec 15th, 2008 01:52:29 PM
i say it as i stand, wearing my v-neck sweater over button-down shirt...
This review is worse than Battlefield Earth by Alonzo Mosely	Dec 15th, 2008 01:59:59 PM
I've been coming here, what, like 11 years (note to self, get a fucking life) and this is probably the worst example of a 'review' ever, and it didn't even need to have a beer or argue about what real dragons would do. Hell, Demon Dave would rather be juggfuckled than be associated with this review, that is how bad it is...
This TB is addicting by Zeegloo	Dec 15th, 2008 02:00:49 PM

talkbackers... by emeraldboy	Dec 15th, 2008 02:03:06 PM
remind me of Statler and Waldorf. It was great movie. well it wasnt that great. in fact it was the worse movie i have ever seen. yeah. it was terrible. awful. boo. boo. awful.
I agree with others here: This review is badly written by Prof. Pop-Cult	Dec 15th, 2008 02:04:41 PM
Incomprehensible. I'm not at all defending The Spirit (from what I've seen online, the movie looks terrible). But this review is an epic fail at conveying how bad the movie is. Perhaps this is a "reverse plant"?
DGDB by skimn	Dec 15th, 2008 02:06:24 PM
Besides looking like a pedophile in a bad Vincent Price get up, whats your beef against Miller? And don't just say "talentless hack", sir.
did mirajeff write this review? by Bob C. Cock	Dec 15th, 2008 02:12:02 PM
could have fooled me
THE CURIOUS CASE OF MORBID'S OBESITY by BringingSexyBack	Dec 15th, 2008 02:16:44 PM
Stop eating and start exercising. Walking is good for you. Too bad you have no place to go. Sorry about that.
JONDOUGH NEEDS TO ATTEND THE MORBID SCHOOL OF REVIEW WRITING by BringingSexyBack	Dec 15th, 2008 02:18:15 PM
His opinion is worthless but at least he gets to the point, i.e.: "Zohan is pretty great."
COCOLOPEZ! by Mr. Nice Gaius	Dec 15th, 2008 02:18:19 PM
Don't leave! AICN needs the return of some of its most infamous trolls. The new ones around here SUUUUCCCKKK!!!!
I stopped reading when I got to the "Frank Miller (hahahaha)" pa by MattmanReturns	Dec 15th, 2008 02:21:17 PM
Yeah. Frank Miller. Hilarious. Don't bother explaining yourself.
Coming to an Urban Outfitters/Dictionary near you: by Kurutteru Yatsu	Dec 15th, 2008 02:28:04 PM
"I stand, wearing my v-neck sweater over button-down shirt" could easily be the new "I put on my robe and wizard hat." Just putting that out there.
and to think, everything that i've seen by vaudeville villain	Dec 15th, 2008 02:46:30 PM
about this movie thus far has been shit, but after reading this review i'm almost rooting for it. okay, not really (i still think it's going to be shit... just not the worst ever).
No detail by Reckoner	Dec 15th, 2008 02:49:21 PM
This review sucked. No plot detail or examples whatsoever. But, I do think The Spirit will be awful and I won't even rent it on DVD. The trailer was awful and made no damn sense. The dialogue sounded incredibly bad, too.
I didn't know Seth McFarlane submitted reviews to AICN... by Stalin vs Predator	Dec 15th, 2008 02:51:46 PM
One can instantly recognize Seth's witty, humorous and timeless writing style in this review. It's even better than "Family Guy", though not as polished as "American Dad".
Is JonDough the most hated reviewer on AICN now? by IAmMrMonkey!	Dec 15th, 2008 02:51:48 PM
I can't ever remember reading a TalkBack where so many people wanted to punch one person in the face. Even Brett Ratner and McG get more love than JonDough. I would like to be first in that line please.
emeraldboy by IAmMrMonkey!	Dec 15th, 2008 02:54:54 PM
I think that may be the first post from you I've read that didn't reference some obscure Irish television show (i.e "Mary Blarneystone on Leprechaun Tonight reported on this movie and only gave it one clover leaf out of ten...) Are you the same emeraldboy as before or have you stolen his login?
Frank Miller GOTTA EAT!!! by BGDAWES	Dec 15th, 2008 03:01:58 PM

Mr. Monkey, you may be right, fer instance take his name by skimn	Dec 15th, 2008 03:02:16 PM
Jondough: My ID is Jondough, a play on words of the proverbial most common name Joe Doe, but spelled in a way that implies either a pasty mound consisting of flour and water, or a large amount of money that should be coming my way, once some lucky producer discovers my clever turn of a phrase... Sound Of MrMonkeys fist hitting face: Kermmurppph.
You want to see the Watchmen already? by agro23	Dec 15th, 2008 03:17:32 PM
I hate to be the one to say it, but I bet Watchmen is going to suck also. It looks like Mystery Men II.
What's up with 'The Watchman'? by BGDAWES	Dec 15th, 2008 03:23:20 PM
Is this, like, a movie about a super-hero (The Watchman) that fights a big squid that everyone keeps talking about?
Mystery Men was good. The Watchmen will suck..... by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD	Dec 15th, 2008 03:28:32 PM
...Zach Snyder is a hack with great abs.
Kermmurppph indeed, Skimn! by IAmMrMonkey!	Dec 15th, 2008 03:28:54 PM
I'd knock that Dough into shape. Hee hee.
Bad review for a bad movie... by alienindisguise	Dec 15th, 2008 03:34:08 PM
seems fitting. So much money wasted on some dumbass thinking Miller's a genius. 5 monkeys with a camera could have made this flick just as well.
I am SO excited for this movie now! by s0nicdeathmonkey	Dec 15th, 2008 03:37:10 PM
Though, we could have done without the rape jokes...
LGF If it's not broken, break it, then scotch! by s0nicdeathmonkey	Dec 15th, 2008 03:38:41 PM

5 monkeys with a camera by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD	Dec 15th, 2008 03:39:54 PM
alienindisguise = RACIST
Is The Watchman that sequel to by BGDAWES	Dec 15th, 2008 03:43:07 PM
Hancock that Will Smith keeps talking about?
I'm going to make copies of this review... by pezduro	Dec 15th, 2008 03:43:50 PM
"So I can Poop on!". Can't believe this review got passed the editing staff.
Stengah by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD	Dec 15th, 2008 03:44:01 PM
Headache is one word.
Izznit Ironic - Doancha think? by YakMalla	Dec 15th, 2008 03:45:19 PM
This is the Battlefield Earth of movie reviews.
Seriously by Exile236	Dec 15th, 2008 03:48:20 PM
Best Review EVER!!
This TB by TheHumanBeingAndFish	Dec 15th, 2008 03:50:17 PM
I could be wrong, but if I recall correctly, Harry pays the other reviewers on this site per talkback entry. So, shitty as this review is, the large number of posts made this review a success - at least for Hercules. Am I wrong?
"the editing staff" by skimn	Dec 15th, 2008 03:54:49 PM
hahhaahahahahahhahahahahahahah hahahahahahahahahahhaahahahah< p>You have read a review from Harry, right?
TheHumanBeingAndFish by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD	Dec 15th, 2008 03:55:13 PM
Is that confirmed? I've heard that rumor go around. I suppose it may make sense, because the TB's are the only reason this site gets the hits it does.
I laughed, I cried... by wintocha67	Dec 15th, 2008 03:58:12 PM
Your review was great. Thanks.
It's becoming painfully obvious... by danofan59	Dec 15th, 2008 03:59:50 PM
that the producers of the lame TV-movie starring Sam Jones had a better feel for the character and the tone of Eisner's work than Frank Miller.
Number of hits.. by skimn	Dec 15th, 2008 04:01:46 PM
makes sense. What other gauge would Harry have to charge advertisers..? And what would he pay? At 50 cents a hit, the guy would have made almost 200 dollars already for a crappy review. Where do I sign up?
Wait a minute, do people think this flick will be GOOD? by Jack Burton	Dec 15th, 2008 04:02:07 PM
Because it definitely won't. They ran the full trailer before "Quantum of Solace" and there was laughing and many comments of "that looks like shit". And it really does. Incomprehensible and stupid, there is no one looking forward to this thing I don't care how much you like the comic. It screams "This years Sky Captain!" and moviegoers didn't really flock to that overcooked mess.
DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD by TheHumanBeingAndFish	Dec 15th, 2008 04:02:51 PM
Just googled it - found these TBs: http://www.aintitcool.com/talk back_display/21673 and http://www.aintitcool.com/talk back_display/20982 where Hercules appears to admit it a few times, although he could of course have been joking. I seem to recall Moriarty admitting it too at some point, but maybe my memory's getting faulty.
Holy crap that review SUCKED by tip	Dec 15th, 2008 04:06:42 PM
Not that I think your opinion is invalid. I'm sure it is a horrible movie, but damn, get to the point already.
Quite possibly the worst review I've ever read by Wonderthump	Dec 15th, 2008 04:09:47 PM
Didn't take your Ritalin? Graduated from an art school? Related to someone "in da biz," are you? YOU SUCK. Please stop writing. Will you not think of the children?? That is all.
As long as JonDough doesn't get paid by IAmMrMonkey!	Dec 15th, 2008 04:15:43 PM
I don't give a crap who gets money for me putting this post here.
I AM BEING RAPED! by neverhed	Dec 15th, 2008 04:17:47 PM
Are people really still sensitive over rape jokes? Hasn't that cherry been forcibly popped?
Uhhh... by TheRealMoriarty	Dec 15th, 2008 04:17:51 PM
... no. No one on this site is paid "per talkback." It was a joke Herc makes occasionally, especially when looking at a talkback made up of 300 people saying "fuck you" over and over.
I, for one, would never say "fuck you" by NivekJ	Dec 15th, 2008 04:19:21 PM

Sounds hilarious and fun to me! by Drath	Dec 15th, 2008 04:21:14 PM
I doubt I'll buy a ticket to this, but it does sounds like a hilarious romp of a bad movie. I consider Final Destination a sidesplitting comedy it's so bad. Battlefield Earth though it's even enjoyable as bad, it's just....it's a movie you want to not sit through at all. I hope The Spirit is better than that at least. But frankly, after seeing the ballshit insane trailer, I knew this was just a silly visual mind fuck anyway. This review was funny, I'm amaze there's anyone who takes it so seriously as to still bitch.
Whoever Crowned Miller A Legit Director??? by Media Messiah	Dec 15th, 2008 04:21:44 PM
The Spirit was just Miller's excuse to get in the panties of some not so A-list actresses/whores hence the reason why he cast them in this movie!!! "The Casting Couch" is alive and well in Hollywood. if I was a betting man, I'd bet that Miller got lots of ass for this--and several of these so-called actresses gave up that ass for parts, all for a piece of trash film that will flop!!!
No offense by Thunderbolt Ross	Dec 15th, 2008 04:22:28 PM
I give that bad review a bad review. I wanted to finish it, I wanted to enjoy reading it but ultimately I could do neither. There's no "there" there.
MORIARTY by neverhed	Dec 15th, 2008 04:25:22 PM
This TB isn't made up of 300 people saying "fuck you." Sure, there's a lot of intense malevolence here, but it's for a reason. If you and the other AICN-ers haven't figured out why this review should be taken down and apologized for yet, you clearly don't pay any real attention to reader response.
BTW by Thunderbolt Ross	Dec 15th, 2008 04:27:31 PM
The first trailer looked like a disaster but from the new Christmas-y one, it looks like it could be fun in a campy way. I still think it's an outrage that an Artiste such as Miller would bring the Spirit to the big screen in such an un-Eisner way ... I mean it's bizarre too. It's Frank Miller's The Spirit, which would be fine except that's not what they're saying. Also: I can almost guarantee none of the females in this movie had any kind of sexual relationship with Frank Miller at any time. I don't know where you weirdos get these ideas; the man isn't exactly a Hollywood power broker.
I always say "fuck you" by IAmMrMonkey!	Dec 15th, 2008 04:29:56 PM
But not over and over. Unless it's a talkback related to Michael Bay or Brett Ratner.
I thought Moriarty quit the site by Thunderbolt Ross	Dec 15th, 2008 04:31:50 PM
Que paso? I guess (geeky, self-) righteousness never quits. I'm sorry but The Legend of Billie Jean taught me to speak truth to power.
Jondough=DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD by BrightEyes	Dec 15th, 2008 04:34:11 PM
Thats why he is the only fucking loser who is trying to defend this shit review, because he wrote it. Fucking guy lives to talk shit about films on the internet.
I blame JonDough for Moriarty leaving by IAmMrMonkey!	Dec 15th, 2008 04:34:12 PM
I also blame him for: * AIDS * The final episode of The Sopranos * Firefly being cancelled * That fucking terrible "I Kissed A Girl" song * The death of my smile today
oh fuck MORIARTY. by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD	Dec 15th, 2008 04:39:05 PM
I was hoping it was a per TB post rate. I was gonna post 500 FUCK YOU'S on your final TB, to send you off in style and make you a few extra bucks.
BrightEyes by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD	Dec 15th, 2008 04:40:32 PM
I'm not defending the review. I'm defending the point of view. Everyone else on here is terrified of stepping on the toes of the Patron Saint of Shit -- Frank Miller. Fuck off and gargle.
Paulson sucked on Studio 60 by JuanSanchez	Dec 15th, 2008 04:41:49 PM
She may have been the single weakest element on the show - and lets not forget DL Hughley and Amanda Peet were also on the show.
Film Knowledge by Bad LT	Dec 15th, 2008 04:41:51 PM
Perhaps this is proof that there is some value to going to film school and/or having a life long devotion to film. Being a kick ass comic book writer or musician does not translate into being a great director.
TheHumanBeingAndFish by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD	Dec 15th, 2008 04:42:33 PM
Thanks for looking that up.
Bad LT by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD	Dec 15th, 2008 04:45:04 PM
Film school education doesn't mean shit. But I think you got it right with a devotion to film. Frank Miller's only devotion is to himself and the bitches that suck his coffee stained cock.
suck my review by GreenRoots	Dec 15th, 2008 04:45:59 PM
IRONY: this reviewer claiming Frank Miller is a style-less writer. Just try reading that incoherent ramble above and you realize he has no credibility
Looks Better Than The Dark Knight!!! I'm Surprised???!!! by Media Messiah	Dec 15th, 2008 04:47:33 PM
My only problems with the clip is when he, The Spirit, looks away from Eva as she drops the towel. It would have played better if he slowly looked at her nude body up and down with no regrets. That said, the 6 clips from the film surprised me, they are had a Spirit about them where as the Dark Knight is lifeless A-Sexual sterility!!! My sincere apologies to Miller and his cast. He may be throwing a Booty Party, but at least this film appears to have a human pulse and the Spirit of fun to it!!! Job well done, man!!! It appears that you are a legit director after all??? Big Congrats!!!
The humor never dies by kesoze4	Dec 15th, 2008 04:52:23 PM
Not a single soul who has posted in this Talkback to date is funny, creative, or interesting in even the slightest way, and what saddens me is that each thinks they are. No one here has written a word any decent human should care about reading. You are not unique special snowflakes. If your mommy loves you, she's the only one. Get the f%#& offline, go outside, do something productive, and try to learn how to make a real life friend. Because all five hundred of you coming in here and posting verbal abuse about a kindly written review as if you're the first one to do it is neither funny, nor original, nor interesting, nor a waste of anything but your own useless, unproductive lives -- lives which will fortunately have ended in sixty-odd years without anyone noticing or caring in the slightest unless you stop and try to become different people today. Sitting here and typing verbal diarrhea into the AICN Talkbacks isn't just bad... and it's not just wasting your lives... it's HURTING AMERICA.
Herc doesnt need TB hits money by the milf lover	Dec 15th, 2008 04:53:36 PM
he's already getting paid by Amazon and Joss Whedon for all the incessant plugs.
yeah but Joss only pays with blow-jobs.... by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD	Dec 15th, 2008 04:57:13 PM
....thats browncoat currency.
This Version Is Actually Truer To The Coimc by Alen Smithee	Dec 15th, 2008 04:57:40 PM
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt00 94017/
kesoze4 by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD	Dec 15th, 2008 04:58:11 PM
My mom told me I'm a unique special snowflake, and I believe her over you. So fuck off.
kesoze4, that's the funniest thing I've read all day by NivekJ	Dec 15th, 2008 04:59:49 PM
AVATAR. 12.31.09. FUCK MY EYES. Copyright 20th Century Fox Film Production.
DannygloverS_DICKBLOOD by BrightEyes	Dec 15th, 2008 05:04:08 PM
The spirit does look pretty bad and thats why I wont be watching it. Cause Fuck it thats why. So if you know it looks bad and don't want to see it, why do you have to go out of your way to send it to all the different film sites and bash it so passionately, if you don't wanna watch it don't watch it and find something better to do with your time than waste it on some shit film you don't wanna watch anyways.
TheRealMoriarty by TheHumanBeingAndFish	Dec 15th, 2008 05:27:25 PM
In that case, I apologize.
If The Movie Is ANYTHING Like This Review... by thelordofhell	Dec 15th, 2008 05:30:15 PM
It's gonna suck.
Fired Lionsgate Employee by GreenRoots	Dec 15th, 2008 05:45:30 PM
I thought this sounded familiar. Variety reported that Lionsgate laid-off 8% of their staff last month. That explains this crazy reviewer's pure hatred and blaming Lionsgate over and over. Was this even a review? He didn't mention anything in particular that's proved he's seen it... IMDB+trailers+anger towards being laid off= worst the internet has to offer. Please dont let this reviewer near a keyboard again.
I liked Sin City. by Amy Chasing	Dec 15th, 2008 05:59:41 PM
At the time it was the best comic book movie made IMHO. Pity if Spirit is shit, but worse than Battlefield Earth? Dunno, I've avoided BE. But if it's worse than Dreamcatcher or Southland Tales (both movies that fail utterly despite their budgets, cast and crew), then I'd say it's baaaaad.
Media Messiah by IAmMrMonkey!	Dec 15th, 2008 06:02:08 PM
I'm still laughing at that post, man! I actually thought you were serious but then I realised such a thing couldn't be possible. Dude, you crack me up! More "The Spirit looks better than The Dark Knight" posts from you please, as I have a heavy day of Xmas shopping tomorrow and am SO not looking forward to it. I need cheering up!
Atrocious delivery; awful "skits"... by Shut the Fuck up Donny	Dec 15th, 2008 06:08:00 PM
ScriptGirl...Is that you?!
Why the fuck would I want to know of your background? by D.Vader	Dec 15th, 2008 06:16:54 PM
I dont give a shit, JohnDough. But give me some of your background, fine. But don't be that prick who says "First, some background..." Find a way to organically work it in!
Fellas... by Kal Reeve	Dec 15th, 2008 06:18:22 PM
You're starting to resemble a lynch mob. Whether the review was poorly written or not, it doesn't give anybody the right to try and destroy a person. Read and reflect on the malicious things you're writing before posting them.
Don't worry about Media Messiah!!! by Amy Chasing	Dec 15th, 2008 06:27:25 PM
Anyone that can write "King Chris Nolan has no clothes, and I just think it interesting that I am the only one with the courage and the guts here to say and think for myself by daring to speak the truth!!!" and think they're going to be taken seriously is obviously pulling the piss. Also see what I did there with my !!! - as impressive as MM is eh?
Kal, "read and reflect before posting"?? by the milf lover	Dec 15th, 2008 06:29:03 PM
Fuck that! THIS IS TALKBAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!
Sam Jackson loves to work by D.Vader	Dec 15th, 2008 06:32:49 PM
If he wants to work in bad films so that he can share the screen with Eva Mendes and Scarlett Johannsen, who are we to judge? The man's addicted to acting.
No suprise... by brundlelfy	Dec 15th, 2008 06:49:30 PM
Read any of Miller's comic work lately? Exactly.
This review sucked! by Evangelion217	Dec 15th, 2008 06:49:46 PM
But I understand where the guy is coming from. He is totally, and utterly dissapointed in Frank Miller. And that's why his review seems to be all over the place, and way too emotional. I feel bad for him. And even though I do like some of Miller's most modern work, I will admit that he sucks, compared to what he use to create. He use to create real art, not trash art. :(
Wait, wait... holdon a second... by ebonic_plague	Dec 15th, 2008 07:09:43 PM
Y'know, this is talkback, I can accept that for most of us the default setting is somewhere between "whine" and "bitch," and I can even see where some people would get off on putting Miller in a lower caste of filmmaker than Uwe Boll or Ed Wood... Sin City was cringe inducing in parts even for the comic book faithful, despite a noble effort from Rourke's version of Marv, and I freely admit that this adaptation of the Spirit looks like the cinematic equivalent of a bloody tampon hanging from a prolapsed rectum... BUT You're objectively full of shit if you think Miller is a "talentless hack," or that DKR "sucks." Miller might have the filmmaking skills of a pile of cold afterbirth, but the man managed to create some fucking GREAT comics. OK, his latest efforts have been... less than great, but Dark Knight Returns? Daredevil? Sin City? Martha Washington? Hard Boiled? I've read most of his work, and frankly, if you like comics and you'd completely write off those works as worthless based on your distaste for his admittedly dismal movie work, it's because you're the douchebag. That said, this really, really does look like ass. Hope you had fun, Frank, because I think your directing career is over. Hopefully you didn't fuck it up for Gaiman.
well said, ebonic_plague by TiVo1138	Dec 15th, 2008 07:31:14 PM
miller owns, even if this sucks
Ha! That was a great review!!! by Mr.LordBronco	Dec 15th, 2008 07:32:31 PM
Of a sucky movie-wish somebody had done the same for me on Punisher Warzone which I walked out of. Hell, i do say hire the guy-harry's reviews can get to be more Rosey than even Ebert's-but he's not a geek. Waiting for gran tourino and the Wrestler this season-and those are the only movies I'd even think about paying for. o.K. Slumdog millionaire-I owe to myself to watch just because of Boyle's sunshine
When was the last time Harry did a review? by D.Vader	Dec 15th, 2008 07:40:18 PM
I mean, a REAL review? Of a GOOD movie? Not some Twilight shit? Damnit I miss the old AICN!
bunch of douches! by cloudrider`	Dec 15th, 2008 07:42:30 PM
any self respecting geek would FIRST and foremeost be thankful frank miller is given the chance to play with hollywood's money. i dont need to repeat the comics he's written in past. let's just say that you will most certainly never have the second highest grossing movie of all time be a batman movie. you think nolan could come up with it all on his own??? so please, respect where is it's due, geeks. second of all, SEE before you judge! the rush hour movies keeps getting made, and paul wanker anderson are still making movies, so obviously you guys are still watching shit, despite your constant attacks on those 2 hacks. but an ARTIST with originality makes a movie and you all bitch BEFORE you even see it??? bunch of hypocrites all of you!
I just got laid off, and I’ve got TONS of ideas by illegaltouching	Dec 15th, 2008 07:42:48 PM
That's it. That's the line.
Hahaha, that's a good line by D.Vader	Dec 15th, 2008 07:52:28 PM
I thought this one was good too. "I stand, wearing my v-neck sweater over button-down shirt. Frank is standing at my desk, trying desperately not to look me in the eye. I touch his shoulder, grasping it firmly." When did the review turn into gay porn?
Off topic by Gwai Lo	Dec 15th, 2008 07:53:42 PM
What's the URL for Moriarty's site/blog?
What parts of Sin City were cringe inducing? by crazybubba	Dec 15th, 2008 07:54:46 PM
Just curious cause i love that movie.
Sin City by Gwai Lo	Dec 15th, 2008 07:55:54 PM
I loved that movie as well but I cringed a few times. "My valkyrie... my warrior woman..."
yeah, i just wish... by cloudrider`	Dec 15th, 2008 08:00:53 PM
people would just stick with the review and skip all the self important bs. that's why i always hate geeks reviews. mori now has to keep mentioning his kid and how the movie affect him. harry's still useless. and i can't trust a review from someone who has too much love for seagal. you want trustworthy reviews, go to RT.
Amy Chasing And IAmMrMonkey! I Stand By My Comments!!! by Media Messiah	Dec 15th, 2008 08:02:46 PM
Dark Knight is getting a free pass. If not for Ledger's death, the film's reviews would have been more down to earth. It was largely sympathy that influenced what was going on with the reviews and those playing on those sympathies to hype the movie, something done for profit!!! I recall the same being true of The Crow, but it was a horrible movie, still people gave it a pass because of the death of Brandon Lee!!! I can't really judge it, as Brandon diied before the shoot was over, and scenes were not shot and had to be altered...yet in terms of Ledger, all of his work was shot, and Dark Knight just did not deliver. As per The Crow, I love Brandon for who he was, and I love The Crow director for his later work on Dark City, but...the Crow sucked--still, that was even better than The Dark Knight!!! Remember, you guys are a part of the same crowd who initially said that Return of The Jedi, and the Star Wars prequels were great...and that Superman Returns, The Hulk, The Incredible Hulk and Iron Man were great too...and they all were different levels of suckage!!! A good or great movie, is supposed to make you wanna feel joy, cheer, laugh, and scream, feel love, anger, and cry...Dark Knight accomplished none of the above!!!
I duno, but Moriarty will be on Attack of the Show tomorrow by D.Vader	Dec 15th, 2008 08:04:34 PM
... on G4. They'll be talking to him about the new site. Funny thing is, when they plugged it in today's show as a tease for tomorrow's, they gave NO background whatsoever. No, "he's a contributor at AICN." No, "he's an internet movie critic." They just spoke of him as if he's a real person named Moriarty that everyone knows. "Tomorrow we'll be talking to Moriarty about his new website, Hit Fixx." I had to laugh.
"Dark Knight accomplished none of the above!!!" by D.Vader	Dec 15th, 2008 08:06:33 PM
That's because you have no soul, Media Messiah. You are in fact one of the robots we were warned of. You won't fool me.
Studio 60 got cancelled because it sucked. by Zarles	Dec 15th, 2008 08:13:23 PM
Oh no, there's a snake loose in the pipes! Someone go get a mongoose! Crap. Sheer crap.
crow & by cloudrider`	Dec 15th, 2008 08:14:53 PM
the crow is not a horrible movie. and TDK is most certainly
He's not the Media Messiah. He's a very naughty boy. by Amy Chasing	Dec 15th, 2008 08:19:33 PM
"you guys are a part of the same crowd who initially said that... the Star Wars prequels were great." I never said that. Nor have I ever said any of those other films you mention are great. Some of them were hugely entertaining, but that's subjective. Your failure to recognise that subverts your credibility. Your lies just make you pathetic.
MORI'S GONNA BE ON AOTS TOMORROW? by BringingSexyBack	Dec 15th, 2008 08:19:44 PM
I'm recording it. Hey Drew don't forget to mention Danny Dickblood.
crow & TDK by cloudrider`	Dec 15th, 2008 08:20:03 PM
imperfect yes, but most certainly not horrible. if you want hyped up mediocre piece of shit, look no further than spider-man 1 and x-men 1. superman returns and ang lee's hulk are at least hated from the get go. x-men 1 and spider-man 1 get free pass because of cluelessness.
I didn't plan on seeing it in the theaters anyway by The Amazing G	Dec 15th, 2008 08:20:11 PM
because for one thing it comes out CHRISTMAS DAY and there's already TWO other movies I want to see that come out the same day, but I might rent it cuz there's some good looking girls in it...huh huh if ya catch my drift heh heh....
Media Messiah by Xiphos_2	Dec 15th, 2008 08:38:14 PM
Is the exclamtion point button broken on your key board? If it isn't, please take a Xanex and relax, or is Xanex counterindicated with the current meds you're on?
Media Messiah by thelordofhell	Dec 15th, 2008 08:46:44 PM
Y'know who I feel sorry for in TDK? Aaron Eckhart. I think his performance was the best in the whole film. If Ledger didn't die, I think that Mr. Eckhart would be getting a lot more props for his role in the film.
AICN, for Pete's sake shitcan this "review" by Crimson Dynamo	Dec 15th, 2008 08:51:01 PM
This movie probably won't be a hit - it will most likely go the way of Rocketeer/Phantom/Shadow - but the six scenes I saw looked like good campy pulp fun; certainly better than some of the earlier trailers we saw. Can we get at least one black box explaining why AICN even felt like this was post-worthy?
I support this review, hang in there dickblood by BilboFett	Dec 15th, 2008 08:52:42 PM
And I think the guy got it right. But, I think he's too impressed with his own "wit", however. That's when he lost me a little. And when he slammed Wonder Years, that shows he has no taste. Other than that, I think he probably got the movie right. And thanks to this review, I won't be seeing it to find out for sure. Gotta save money in this tight economy. Hang in there, Dickblood.
Harry and Moriarty need to give their analysis on this by BDuncan	Dec 15th, 2008 08:53:15 PM
We can all agree this is a terrible and very poorly written review that shouldn't have been posted up, so it'd be helpful to get analysis on what's really bad and / or any good about this film from both Moriarty (till he leaves the site) and Harry, compared to what the Sin City film did right.
Am I the only one who thought TDK improved by Amy Chasing	Dec 15th, 2008 08:54:36 PM
whenever the Joker was present. Honestly, I really enjoyed the film (loved the way it ended) but I found myself enjoying it even more due to Ledger's Joker. Not because in real life he died, but because of his performance. It was Gotham's story, but it was the Joker's movie.
By the Power of Skull Fuck... by monolithik	Dec 15th, 2008 09:01:22 PM
...This "review" is still here. And worse than I remember it being last night. But it's like a train wreck(okay, a really long train wreck)... can't... look... away...
Ebonic, re: Miller and the pile of cold afterbirth by BilboFett	Dec 15th, 2008 09:01:23 PM
as opposed to warm afterbirth? WTF hehehe :)
I'm Pretty Sure... by monolithik	Dec 15th, 2008 09:03:31 PM
...kesoze4 is Jondough. Just putting that out there. Jondough was way too excited to write that review to NOT come here to read our glowing recommendations of his "sure hit".
Have You Considered by monolithik	Dec 15th, 2008 09:05:36 PM
Mime school? It's way less irritating, we don't have to ever hear you again and you still get to flap about until the ADHD wears off.
yodaloves you, re: rape is worse than murder because it stays wi by BilboFett	Dec 15th, 2008 09:06:47 PM
Whereas murder is only temporary, right? ...
I'm Kidding, Jondough by monolithik	Dec 15th, 2008 09:07:45 PM
We'll probably still be able to hear your shoes. But seriously... God damn, this review just made me Hulk out. I'm sending you the bill for my blood pressure meds, Jondough.
"And I think the guy got it right." by cloudrider`	Dec 15th, 2008 09:10:07 PM
why? because you've seen the film? nothing can be worse than battlefield earth. he's wrong already.
I'm Ashamed Now by monolithik	Dec 15th, 2008 09:11:00 PM
To have people named Jon in my family. Ho. Lee. Shit. You just ruined the most common name in the world. I would hide.
Jondough didn't see it. by BurnHollywood	Dec 15th, 2008 09:11:48 PM
Re-read the review and ask yourself if, as a writing exercise, you couldn't write the same thing based on the trailers and clips already available online. I think AICN just got punked.
I've Taken This Too Far by monolithik	Dec 15th, 2008 09:13:27 PM
But it's worth it, just to make sure this never, ever happens again. Can we have Hitler back, instead? At least people didn't have to live with themselves when he was done with them. Good God Almighty.
If the movie is as bad as this review... by dannydevito	Dec 15th, 2008 09:14:36 PM

If the movie is as bad as this review... by dannydevito	Dec 15th, 2008 09:17:13 PM
count me out. Probably one of the most whiny, long winded, annoying reviews I've ever read on this site. I picture the reviewer as an overweight white man, with a mouth that looks like a vagina that eats corn nuts all day. Fuck you reviewer guy. Fuck you until your asshole turns into a donkey asshole.
The Ballad of Jondough. by monolithik	Dec 15th, 2008 09:17:33 PM
I am writing this song. And I will then put that song under my bed. I will then burn my house down.
Media Messiah, TDK and all sorts of emotions by BilboFett	Dec 15th, 2008 09:19:08 PM
Um, what screening were you at? A late night screening with half-asleep elderly? I saw it 3 times, and EVERY time they: laughed at Ledger's portrayal of the Joker, because he was GREAT and creepy, they cheered and clapped when Batman did the little 180 off the side of the building in the batcycle, we felt anger along with batman when he had the Joker in the interrogation room, we wanted to throw the joker into the table and wall as well, we felt sadness when Gordon "died", and we felt joy when he was still alive. My audience also clapped in 2 of the 3 times Gordon caught the Joker at gunpoint. Every showing clapped at the end. I'm sorry, but the movie was not emotionless, or dead. Maybe you are. And no, I never said the prequels were good, I didn't bother seeing the Hulk because I could tell its crap, I didn't like Superman Returns (my group left the theater and immediately started talking about Batman Begins instead), etc. etc. Sorry, your experience is not the majority one, nor was anything you say valid. All the critics aren't wrong, all of IMDB isn't wrong, and most of the world isn't deluded. I admit that Ledger's death gave the film a boost, but not THAT much of a boost.
Seriously, Though. by monolithik	Dec 15th, 2008 09:21:36 PM
I had trouble sleeping last night, Jondough. You have damaged my calm. I'm calling my lawyers. I'm calling your lawyers. They'll side with me, too.
Most Importantly... by monolithik	Dec 15th, 2008 09:23:18 PM
Don't listen to any of us fucksticks, Jondough. Thanks for the heads up.
This may be a case of getting Punk'd- there's no synopsis by D.Vader	Dec 15th, 2008 09:24:10 PM
Every non-site reviewer usually looooooves to just retell the film. And this "review" has NOTHING to prove this guy saw it. Honestly, the only things he mentions is bad acting and bad directing. Some good cinematography and Eva Mendes' butt. But anyone could gather that from the trailers and interviews. You'd think he would mention a bad script and awful dialogue or bad effects... but no. It does sound like a joke.
attacking JohnDough as much as you all are by BilboFett	Dec 15th, 2008 09:24:27 PM
Says much less about his writing talent or masturbatory self-promotion, and much more about your weakness and frailty. Does it really bother you THAT much?? Grow up, get a thicker skin, and deal with it. This is just one opinion, like AICN always says of its reviewers. So what happens if the lot of you go see THE SPIRIT and most of the things this reviewer said is right? Will you then come back to this or another talkback and apologize? NOT A FUCKING CHANCE. Because besides not only being weak, frail, and feeble, you don't have any class. Sorry.
Does every graphic novel merit a movie? by Fa Fa Fooey	Dec 15th, 2008 09:26:31 PM
I would think not. But thanks for the warning, I will still clear of this piece of shit unless I get to eat out Eva Mendes.
I STILL HAVEN'T READ THE REVIEW by BringingSexyBack	Dec 15th, 2008 09:26:42 PM
but sure am enjoying the passionate talkback it inspired.
What will the board to if Watchmen sucks too? by Fa Fa Fooey	Dec 15th, 2008 09:27:27 PM
Any thoughts?
This movie doesn't look very good, but by canopus	Dec 15th, 2008 09:29:23 PM
Scarlett Johansson is a very good actress, the reviewer lost me with his little tirade about her. If I see this movie at all, in the theatre, or on DVD, it will be because of her.
AICN should pull this review... because..... ?? by BilboFett	Dec 15th, 2008 09:30:30 PM
The guy hated the film, promoted himself, or didn't give a synopsis? Do any of those justify censorship or yanking the review? Seriously guys. How long have you been coming here. AICN has posted reviews that were SO MUCH WORSE than this. Honestly.
So if you critique you have no class? by D.Vader	Dec 15th, 2008 09:35:22 PM
Sorry, BilboFett. I don't need class to see a shitty review. Nor do I need it to be allowed to say "This review sucks".
This is the worst review i've ever seen by Sophism	Dec 15th, 2008 09:39:38 PM
What's with all the preamble in the reviews on this site. I want to give a review of The Day The Earth Stood Still, but first a poem.
HEY MORI - WHAT'S THE USERNAME AND PASSWORD FOR HITFIX? by BringingSexyBack	Dec 15th, 2008 09:43:29 PM
You got the amateur porn vids up yet?
THIS IS THE TALKBACK FOR THE WORST REVIEW I NEVER READ by BringingSexyBack	Dec 15th, 2008 09:45:40 PM
I still haven't gotten the urge to punch Jondough in the face but it's just a matter of time.
Who said to pull it, BilboFett? by BurnHollywood	Dec 15th, 2008 09:47:38 PM
Please, AICN, leave it up...a review this blatantly faked needs to be referenced so that it doesn't happen again.
no, D.Vader, the reason why someone has no class by BilboFett	Dec 15th, 2008 09:48:04 PM
Is that they are willing to expend tons of energy blasting and name-calling and ridiculing this reviewer and then not lifting even so much a finger if they later find out he is right. That is what I mean by "no class".
by GhostDad	Dec 15th, 2008 09:48:09 PM
Ugh. Nothing worse than a guy who wants to "make it in the industry" ripping on "THE FUCKING STUDIO IDIOTS," to appear like he could do a better job when in reality, he'd suck dick to even have anyone at lionsgate read his script.
let me backtrack a little by BilboFett	Dec 15th, 2008 09:54:02 PM
I admit this is not a great review. I agree you learn nothing of the plot. I agree the guy is overly negative and is in attack mode. I agree that he strokes himself off and is impressed with his own jokes. I agree he seems desperate. I am also saying he has the right to his opinions of the movie, he didn't have to post a synopsis, and you don't have to like it. Fair?
Reverse Plant! by BroVinny	Dec 15th, 2008 09:54:43 PM
I agree with the guy up there who called "Reverse Plant," but it may be that this guy was planted just to lower expectations so the movie plays better than if we were expecting a masterpiece. I'm going to see it anyway.
Reviewer wants to make movies? by RawShark13	Dec 15th, 2008 09:56:30 PM
If they are half as over-indulgent and up his own ass as this review was, I got dibs on writing the snarky reviews!
BilboFett by monolithik	Dec 15th, 2008 09:56:50 PM
Listen. We're sure he's right. We know this movie is horrible, because we've seen the same trailers he has(and that's ALL he's seen, I promise you). This is not why we hate the review(er). He can be 150% correct on his take... and his review will still be the same godforsaken eyesore. Do you really not understand? Do you not see it?
BilboFett by monolithik	Dec 15th, 2008 09:57:40 PM
Fair. And we don't like it. We really. Don't. Like it. Fair?
Well to be fair, Bilbo by D.Vader	Dec 15th, 2008 09:59:24 PM
You can't insult someone for something they haven't done yet (ie, saying everyone who thinks this review sucks will, in the future, see "The Spirit", agree it sucks, but refuse to come back and admit they're wrong- which is what I assume you're implying by "not lift a finger").
I Just Figured It Out. by monolithik	Dec 15th, 2008 10:00:15 PM
Jondough is the Dane Cook of amateur movie reviewers.
And I never said he had to post a synopsis by D.Vader	Dec 15th, 2008 10:02:55 PM
Maybe someone else did, so maybe you're not trying to personalize this debate against me. I mentioned synopses because usually that's what you find in a review. Since it was lacking in this one, I find that to potentially be evidence of a reverse-plant.
I THINK JONDOUGH IS ON METH by Bass Bastardson	Dec 15th, 2008 10:04:35 PM
That review was written by someone tweaking their fucking brains out. I would bet money on it.
MORIARTY -- IF YOU DROP THE NAME DICKBLOOD.... by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD	Dec 15th, 2008 10:20:58 PM
....YOU GET STREET CRED.
BSB by Xiphos_2	Dec 15th, 2008 10:25:02 PM
Don't attempt to read this review, there's no real reason. I bailed out at the one hour fourty three minute mark and that only got me through the first two paragraphs. Plus this movie doesn't look very good anyways why invest the time?
DICKBLOOD by BilboFett	Dec 15th, 2008 10:26:08 PM
care to explain how you came about picking "Danny Glover's dickblood" as a nick? Where did it originate from... what does it have to do with Danny Glover?? We're all here listening and waiting dude.
HOW is it bad ? Shitty acting ain't enough. The Happening was so by G100	Dec 15th, 2008 10:26:17 PM
Truly, you gots to say WHY it's unbelievably bad. Tell us of the terible clunking "emtional" scenes that follow the terrible fucked up "action" sequences. Sure, if the acting is hilariously bad then the Movies toast and it looks like it is indeed in real trouble regardless of this review. But the problem is the review was a diatribe about the Actors and Director and Producers and NOT a REVIEW of the Movie. I want to KNOW how this is worse than at least the Happening because jeeesus christ that was a pile of shit to be measured against.
THe Happening was so much more than JUST Bad Acting by G100	Dec 15th, 2008 10:28:08 PM

high school plays directed by a middle school teacher who’s only by WickedJacob	Dec 15th, 2008 10:51:31 PM
I've been that teacher. I wouldn't want to see a movie staged by me either.
I have a feeling this review is accurate by Teddy Artery	Dec 15th, 2008 11:00:34 PM
even if it is overly self-indulgent. I've noticed in the trailers a distinct attempt to make 'something out of nothing' and a hazy sense of direction and plot. I'm buying this as a legit reviewer.
well then wait a sec by BilboFett	Dec 15th, 2008 11:06:46 PM
That Blue Blood poster-thingy ad looks cool as all fuck. Forget THE SPIRIT, TDK, everything--this is my new passion. Especially that first girl in the foreground with the jacket that looks either cross-eyed or has a deformed head!
I thoroughly enjoyed this talkback. by Ultron ver 2.0	Dec 15th, 2008 11:07:01 PM
Monolithik, I find your ideas intriguing and would like to subscribe to your newsletter. DGDB, notsomuch.
The Happening should be the new yard stick by Xiphos_2	Dec 15th, 2008 11:32:22 PM
With which to measure shitty movies. At least with Battlefield Earth you can have a good time with the massive cheese factor. There's nothing worthwhile to be found in The Crappenning.
The Happening was shit, but it didn't look expensive. by Amy Chasing	Dec 15th, 2008 11:56:17 PM
Dreamcatcher and Southland Tales (and Lost In Space if I'm feeling mean) all looked like big budget special effects extravaganzas. But they completely failed to be good in any way. The Happening was bad, but it didn't upset me as much that it was.
but southland tales had The Rock! by vaudeville villain	Dec 16th, 2008 12:18:16 AM
The Rock, people!!
The Happening did have the EPIC Wahlberg/Pot Plant "face off" by G100	Dec 16th, 2008 12:23:38 AM
For that alone it is essential viewing. ONCE. (Let's be reasonable) Also the moments before it when Wahlberg sees the plant and you think, He's NOT going to go ther.. Dear God! he's NOT SERIOUSLY going to go there!!" And miraculously as your jaw hits the floor Shyamalan does. He could have pulled back. He could have had that scene as possibly the only moment in the Movie when you felt like cheering as he regained some fraction of his sanity and had actually used the ENTIRE MOVIE to persuade you he was going down in flames and taking the whole fucking Movie with him. Only to pull back metaphorically telling the viewer "Gotcha! It was a fake out and you fell for it." If only. The moment when Marky Mark sees the plant is Shyamalan teetering on the edge of an enormous sewer tank. But he doesn't suddenly dance off the edge laughing nor does he simply stumble and fall into a bottomless well of shit. No. He dives in with the kind of deliberate lunacy other Directors merely glimpse in their worst nightmares.
Lost In Space had Gary Oldman. by Amy Chasing	Dec 16th, 2008 12:24:08 AM
Dreamcatcher had Lawrence Kasdan. Good people don't mean good movie.
The Happening had M Night Shyamalan. by Amy Chasing	Dec 16th, 2008 12:26:02 AM
Didn't he direct some good movies once?
Shymalan directed two and half good movies by Xiphos_2	Dec 16th, 2008 12:35:27 AM
He flushed all his talent down the shitter about half way through Signs. It's sad really, the boy had some promise once. After The Crappenning, all Shymalan should be allowed to direct is WalMart commercials, as long as somebody else wrote the script.
Lost In Space? by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD	Dec 16th, 2008 12:39:38 AM
Oh please....that shit wasn't even that bad. The end was just a bit dull.
Southland Tales was a complete mess by Xiphos_2	Dec 16th, 2008 12:42:01 AM
It did have Buffy talking about getting nailed in the ass, so that's check mark in the postive catagory. It's the only positive thing there.
ONE GOOD THING... by HapaPapa72	Dec 16th, 2008 01:04:13 AM
(Well, besides that Eva's ass heads-up) is that this steaming pile doesn't sound like a remake, reboot, or reimagining of The Spirit. But I'm sure that's not far off.
Listen to Me, Jondough. by monolithik	Dec 16th, 2008 01:09:50 AM
Look, I don't mean to hurt your feelings. I'm a nice guy... and you seem like a nice guy, who's had a good life(you sure as hell haven't had to deal with rape, I can tell that much). I imagine you keep yourself very happy and amused all day with your inner commentary; at least when you're not viewing your immaculate Scrubs DVD collection. But buddy... you've walked into what is - outside of 4chan - arguably the darkest back alley on the internet. Which is rule #1: know your crowd. Know where bullshit flies, and where it doesn't. And on AICN... Cute. Does. Not. Fly(unless you have boobs to back it up -- that's right, I'm looking at [parts of] you, Scriptgirl). Replace your inner narrator with your inner editor every now and then, and - when you've completed a review or whatever you're about to contribute to the world, just ask yourself, "What would the meanest, grumpiest asshole in the world have to say about this?" This will be your real-world response. Edit, and go from there. Also... make sure you've actually seen the entirety of what you're reviewing, because if Roger Ebert can't fucking get away with it... oh buddy. Have you SEEN Passion of the Christ? Something like that. The only thing we hate more than a clumsily self-promoting noob is a clumsily self-promoting noob whose entire reason for being in our RSS feeds is completely made-up bullshit. Entire nations have fallen for less. Remember this... and be careful out there, champ.
LAST! by GreenRoots	Dec 16th, 2008 01:16:02 AM
People always try to be first, but I hope I'm the last. Here's Jondough's review of the new Star Trek film: JJ Abrams is a fucking moron. He sucks so bad and the people behind Star Trek suck. It had promise but it sucked big balls. I saw it I swear. The acting by Sylar is so crappy. That proves I saw it. LAST
Monolithik by GreenRoots	Dec 16th, 2008 01:18:56 AM
Thank you. SECOND LAST
The Fuck? by monolithik	Dec 16th, 2008 01:20:18 AM
Did I defend this movie at any point?
It Looks Horrible. by monolithik	Dec 16th, 2008 01:23:48 AM
And I'm disturbed by your familiarity with the weight of shriveled nuts, noncents.
BilboFett, Amy Chasing, D.Vader, lordofhell, etc. by Media Messiah	Dec 16th, 2008 01:46:39 AM
I can recall when I use to attack Tim Burton's Batman movies and how so many at AICN.com claimed they were masterpieces, thus I had to be wrong(???)--the very same descriptions they are now giving Dark Knight...ironically? These same folks now claim that Burton's Batman films were horrid, and I was well ahead of the curve on that opinion, as with the Star Wars prequels. Well, years from now...when, or if, somebody finally manages to make a truly good, to great, Batman film, all this false hype over Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, will finally be placed in perspective, when people look back upon those films and say to themselves, yes, Tim Burton's Batman was lousy, and Chris Nolan's version of Batman is lousy in another kind of way. Like the fact that we weren't made to love Rachael, so when she died, it was like, so what??? Joss Whedon made us love Penny, I believe her name was, within just 45 minutes of his Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog...so when when she died, you felt it, and it really hurt and seemed personal. Nobody cared about Rachael because she was presented as being unlikable and largely emotionally detached throughout the film up until her very death scene. Prior to that, no real emotional attachment to Bruce Wayne, save for what we were told, was not conveyed...visually??? This, a major, major flaw in the film!!! As far as where I saw the film, I saw it on DVD and I am glad I didn't waste my money sitting next to people who are clapping and cheering for an explosion because they feel they need to, or just because it is an explosion. Cheers, as prodded by others--or they feel like they are on the outside looking in...if they just don't get it, so they cheer to feel included. They cheered, I would guess because they felt they wanted to be in on all the hype, the falsely generated paradigm that this was a good movie. People bought into the great big lie. The King has clothes made out of gold, rubies, pearls, silver, and diamond powder--fabrics so fine that if you could not see them, there must be something wrong with your eyes...but it took a kid to expose the truth: The King has no clothes!!! Yes, those audiences clapped and cheered, I would think, due to that pre-media hype, that artificially produced societal peer pressure, not because it was dramatically deserved!!! Crowds often like to parot each other, and many people get caught up in the sold hype of things...and think for, and with, the hive mind, instead of for themselves, and their own individual opinions. These are the same kind of people who bought Britney Spears' new album, and claim they love it, and praise Twilight and Harry Potter movies. You are welcome to the hype my friends, you Jonas Brother's lovers, but I'll take The Beatles and Depeche Mode instead.
Is this just viral marketing? by walfrid	Dec 16th, 2008 01:55:55 AM
I wonder, because this is what everyone's posting on. It's got over 500 posts already. But then it brings up the question on whether it is really a bad movie after all and is this what the advertising agency planned to do in case of a bad flick? Hmm, I wonder.
Media Messiah by Amy Chasing	Dec 16th, 2008 01:59:41 AM
You lost me at !!! (or was that ???) But seriously, don't call me out by name if you're not talking to me (ie. I'm not one of these supposed many who claimed any comic book related movie to be great or a masterpiece).
Who Are the Beatles? by monolithik	Dec 16th, 2008 02:01:24 AM
They must be good(and not a bit over-hyped!) Buy their albums now, because Media Messiah can see the future!
noncents - MM wasn't talking to me. by Amy Chasing	Dec 16th, 2008 02:30:07 AM
So Media Messiah has an opinion. Fine, they're welcome to it. But the way they're presenting it by saying "I am the only one with the courage and the guts here to say and think for myself by daring to speak the truth!!!" complete with multiple punctuation in multiple posts - I've seen the same tactics employed by evangelical religious types. I avoid people like that. It's your choice to side with them though.
Is this TB about the Spirit or TDK? by kungfuhustler84	Dec 16th, 2008 02:51:16 AM
Fucking dopes. Mediah Messiah strokes it all night because he hates the Batman movies and LURVS The Beatles and Depeche Mode. How fucking alternative of you. Who doesn't prick? Now if you had said something like Black Mountain, Echo and the Bunnymen, Interpol, or (of course) Tom Waits, I would have been impressed? But The Beatles? I love 'em, but shame on you sir, for tainting their good name. What a boring chump.
MM, fuck your pretentious ass by kungfuhustler84	Dec 16th, 2008 03:05:07 AM
I'm going to bed.
Thanks Noncents!!!: On The Dark Knight Sucking by Media Messiah	Dec 16th, 2008 04:06:55 AM
Superman was a great movie on its bookends, that being the opening on Krypton, Smallville, and the Fortress of Solitude, as well as the "read my mind" sequence, and the ending where Lois died and Superman reversed time. The thing that weakened the movie was the villain (Lex) and his campy criminal side kicks. The Rocketeer was a great super hero movie throughout, ranking it, for me, as the best ever made. The film just had heart, great emotion, clear plotting, humor, joy, love/romance, sexuality, scares, passion, fun, kindness, thrills, danger, a smart and worthy villain, a great 3 dimensional hero, and a big soul. The Dark Knight was really bad when it came to informing us about Bruce Wayne. Cut out the action scenes and him running around in costume and you have nothing, just a lot of sitting around and posing in business suits, and lots of meaningless discussions. I would have liked to see this guy have a life and show real emotion and have some real fun and romance. How is it that the actor who plays the Spirit showed more emotion in the 6 small clips that we saw, than Christian Bale did in the entire Dark Knight film??? And that costume of Batman's, as well as the fight sequences, looked clumsy??? Really, the look of Batman: Dead End...the fan made film, on You Tube, blows Dark Knight away...and the voice of the actor that played him is inviting as opposed to Bale's chalkboard scratching monotone whenever he is in costume. Dead End on the other hand, is amazing. The entire effort was thrilling and puts Dark Knight to shame...save for the actor who played The Joker in Batman: Dead End (aka Batman versus Alien versus Predator), who was horrible--it was a solid production...complete with great fight choreography!!! Now, that is what a Batman film should look like. Lastly, the black/gray...leather and cloth costume was awesome and far superior to the black colored Power Rangers uniform Chris Bale is wearing. And about DK's fight sequences, they really need to bring in the folks who do the fight choreography for the Bourne films to do Batman, as the fights in DK were absolutely terrible!!!
Yeah by jonnyweir	Dec 16th, 2008 04:36:01 AM
I wish that TDK, as a Batman movie, had more Batman in it.
If only TDK was as good as the Spirit by G100	Dec 16th, 2008 04:40:01 AM
Or a fan flick. If only! BWahahahahahhaaaaaaahaaaaa
Batman Dead End looks like what it is by Steve Rogers	Dec 16th, 2008 04:42:54 AM
A fan film. A guy running round in actual tights in a 'realistioc' version of the Batman story would look ridiculous.
JESUS what a horrible review by elvenblade	Dec 16th, 2008 04:49:15 AM
I would rather be strapped to a chair and forced to watch the entirety of The Spirit than read a sentence off that little nugget of shit again. Herc, Harry, everyone, you should be ashamed for printing something like that. Goddamn.
Jondough comes off like a jizzbag by Stalkeye	Dec 16th, 2008 05:28:48 AM
regardless if the movie sucks or not, your stupid SJ skit was lame at best and jealous at worse or to some point racist: "toooooom Cruuuussse","Black Nazis"? Dude, shut the fuck up and stop hatin. It's not Sj's fault if the studios give him alot of roles.Overexposed? sure, but i gotta admire his love for acting and being a workaholic. Out of spite I'm gonna see this opening day.
re Dead End by DocPazuzu	Dec 16th, 2008 05:31:18 AM
I enjoyed it for what it was, but it was poorly edited and paced. Batman's cowl, however, was the best one ever -- a combination of prosthetics and make-up, a solution they would have done well to use in the movies.
Media Messiah is the last Cylon by IAmMrMonkey!	Dec 16th, 2008 05:51:57 AM
So say we all. And this may be the greatest TalkBack in existence.
that reviewer isnt funny, but he thinks he is, ew by angrykirby.tk	Dec 16th, 2008 06:06:15 AM
what a corny ass review
Valerie Perrine's Tits by Internet Thug	Dec 16th, 2008 06:18:45 AM
are the greatest thing to ever appear in a Superman movie bar none.
Have absolutely no desire to see "'Tne Spirit," but by Drunken Rage	Dec 16th, 2008 06:19:31 AM
this was one of the worst, most "poke-you-in-the-ribs-hey-aren 't-I-funny" piece of shit reviews this site has ever posted. I'm ashamed for this idiot.
To Media Messiah and other TDK haters by ChuckImania	Dec 16th, 2008 06:39:57 AM
I remember back, about oh say, ten minutes ago when the vast majority of you guys were swinging off of Christopher Nolan nut hairs, now a lot of you are acting like whinny, failed film majors that have to nitpick everything in order to feel OK about your own shortcomings--That was almost as wordy as Jondough's review, so I apologize, but come the fuck on. The Dark Knight was amazing. Informing you on Bruce Wayne? What the fuck would you like to know that you don't already? Oh, and the fan film on Youtube is awesome for what it is-a fan film. You comparing to Nolan's work is not only insulting, it's a pathetic cry for attention, attention that I'm giving you because it's 4am and need a break from working on my final.
for the record... by ChuckImania	Dec 16th, 2008 06:46:25 AM
Fuck the Beatles with the exception of John Lennon and George Harrison; the other two are more like roaches that have tainted the legacy of their former glory.
But, it looks like Sin City... by SoylentMean	Dec 16th, 2008 07:17:39 AM
I'm not going to lie. I'm going to see this movie. Probably even more so now, because now I'm curious as hell to see just how bad this is. I'm not sure why Miller decided to take a color comic into the B&W stylized world of Sin City. I don't think anyone is. Perhaps its because the only film he ever "co-directed" was done in that style. I would think anybody who ever even came close to reading The Spirit would first and foremost be pissed about that. This is a novelty film. Hopefully, if it does well, we'll see a quicker arrival for Sin City 2, which this movie is most clearly trying to convince audiences it is. P.S. Sam Jackson is incapable of suck, so the reviewer is fuckin' lying right there.
This (cough) "review" makes me MORE curious by JDanielP	Dec 16th, 2008 07:46:06 AM
...and will see "THE SPIRIT" to judge for myself. Even if this WASN'T showing on Christmas day, it would STILL be like a holiday...'cause Frank Miller is directing a movie! Good or bad, I'll pay to see THAT.
FOCKIN A by turketron	Dec 16th, 2008 08:04:31 AM
I saw the number of replies in this talkback and figured I should finally get around to reading the review. Fuck that, what a waste of time and terribly written review. What in the fuck...
"Yep. But perfectly harvested sap is delicious." by Chadley BeBay	Dec 16th, 2008 08:32:08 AM
The reviewer just gave me ARCTIC douche-chills.... Fuck you asshole.
So Harry is allowed... by kesoze4	Dec 16th, 2008 08:51:54 AM
... to write 2000-word-plus epic tone poems that would make the Vogons' ears bleed... he can go on for entire chapters about his nuclear family, his extended family, all his many terribly-named friends, what the theater is like, who called him on the phone before the movie, what he had to snack on in the dark before the trailers, and invariably end up writing a worthless-because-they're-all- glowingly-positive review. But then when one dude who gets a chance to see a movie early and gets excited to let you all know how crushingly awful it is (yes, he did see it, his descriptions perfectly match the other videos released and new reviews rolling in, all extremely negative) -- AND HE ACTUALLY TRIES TO WRITE IN THE SAME TONE THE FOUNDER OF THIS SITE ALWAYS WRITES IN -- you guys chew him up for hundreds of posts, all saying exactly the same worthless thing? Our nation's convenience store system is so f#%&ed when all you wonderfully bright children start working on your careers.
Vogons reference by Thunderbolt Ross	Dec 16th, 2008 09:11:52 AM
Calls the validity of everything you say into question.
it's official, kesoze4 is definitely jondough. by vaudeville villain	Dec 16th, 2008 09:18:09 AM
may i ask... what's the deal with "i stand, wearing my v-neck sweater over button-down shirt..."? i found that, among other things in your review, to be totally random.
Nonetheless - a response: by Thunderbolt Ross	Dec 16th, 2008 09:19:04 AM
What does being bright have to do with anything? First of all Harry does get shit all the time for his reviews. Second, just because you can make claims as to the similarity between Harry's reviews and this one doesn't make it so. Third, Even if there are formal similarities, there still can be a difference in effectiveness (which there is, because this review is nigh-unreadable). Fourth, the proof is in the pudding. Unless some sort of geek neurosis prompts you to believe the responses to this review are simply contrived (for what reason I couldn't guess), just accept the fact that for all his flaws, Harry's reviews have brought him a certain level of acceptance, whereas this guy is more or less being rejected. Even if YOU don't see why, it's apparent Jondough just rubs people the wrong way.
kesoze4=broken record by skimn	Dec 16th, 2008 09:20:49 AM
Ironically you come back to this TB to say the same thing over and over again, just as you accuse. Do you think you're making a difference? Do you think ANYONE cares what you think of this TB?
Making a difference by kesoze4	Dec 16th, 2008 09:46:59 AM
As -- yes, I said before -- not a single damn thing written in this Talkback is a making the slightest difference in the world, other than you all self-congratulating yourselves for using an anonymous internet forum to criticize the writing of some poor guy who was just trying to save people from spending their money badly. If he chose to overuse a few ineffective jokes, oh my, he must be stopped with hundreds of you lot proving how superior you are via an unending stream of clever references to AIDS and peoples' dogs being hurt. That comedy goldmine just never runs dry. And if tearing the poor guy apart is making all your lives cheerier, by all means: lynch away, mob. When you're done hanging the guy you can use the rope to string up whichever other reviewer comes in here next with something to say about some movie you haven't seen but still refuse to accept might not be that great. In the meantime I refuse to accept the "you can't stop the mob, so why waste your time" argument. No one else on this entire site (which I quite like for pretty much Herc and Moriarty alone) ever tries to point out how really pathetically evil all you kids can be. I won't change a damn soul, but at the very least I hope Jondough knows someone appreciates him saving them a $10 ticket at Loew's Boston and a $3 roundtrip ticket on the T.
Proof the Kesoze4 IS Jondumbass by ArcadianDS	Dec 16th, 2008 09:56:29 AM
1. Johndumbass hasn't submitted a review in like, FOREVER AND A DAY. 2. Kesoze4 has NO FUCKING IDEA what the talkback's of Harry's reviews are like. Seems like they're both very unfamiliar with this site. I would like to call the following witnesses to the stand: Kurt Russel's laughter, Harry's Sad Birthday, Wife Cheeting Beer, Chocolate Covered Vaginal Secretion, Just Got Off The Phone With, Sexiest Tomboy Beanpole, and LapBand Surgery Picture. All of these witnesses will testify the the fact that Harry's self-promoting 'reviews' are hardly acceptable by the 'talkbackers', and furthermore - since when does a jondough-come-lately putting on a Harry suit and trying to imitate Harry equate to acceptable review? I just got off the phone with James Michener. He said this review was way too long.
Kesoze4 by skimn	Dec 16th, 2008 10:11:59 AM
It sounds like you don't visit these TB's very often. Name calling and the such is rule of thumb, but when the subject is serious, you'll find some lively debate...
Harry's Reviews by kesoze4	Dec 16th, 2008 10:16:23 AM
Haven't read a Harry article in ages. Much less his Talkbacks. No idea why anyone would want to be subjected to the guy's endless (and from what I recall, frequently pretty creepy) droning, nor especially why anyone would want to read what others think of said droning. I check this site for advance movie and TV episode reviews, not birthday party news. If you're also of the opinion that it's impossible for one human to feel empathy for another without actually being that guy... well, tough world you got going.
Kezose4, stop being dense by D.Vader	Dec 16th, 2008 10:21:36 AM
People aren't ripping the reviewer because he had something bad to say about a movie none of us have seen. We're ripping into him because he wrote a god-awful SHIT "review". And he deserves it all for his poor product.
..and as the old saying goes, by skimn	Dec 16th, 2008 10:35:27 AM
If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.
I WANT TO LYNCH JONDOUGH AND WATCH HIS BODY SWING by BringingSexyBack	Dec 16th, 2008 11:10:12 AM
and I haven't even read the review. This mob mentality is contagious. And fun!
IF YOU CAN'T STAND THE KITCHEN GET OUT OF THE HOUSE by BringingSexyBack	Dec 16th, 2008 11:11:40 AM
or something like that! You get the picture Jon!!!!!
I LIKE HARRY by BringingSexyBack	Dec 16th, 2008 11:15:20 AM

MEANT TO SAY "I LIKE HARRY'S REVIEWS" by BringingSexyBack	Dec 16th, 2008 11:16:58 AM
Damned Enter button.
IF ONLY I COULD by BringingSexyBack	Dec 16th, 2008 11:34:22 AM
I'd get a chocolate-covered blackbox.
Criticizing the critics of a critic by Thunderbolt Ross	Dec 16th, 2008 11:45:32 AM
I think it's one step too many. Plus it's stupid.
What if he's right? by Zeegloo	Dec 16th, 2008 12:06:01 PM

Internet Thug. The Valerie comment is DEAD ON! by Stuntcock Mike	Dec 16th, 2008 12:25:33 PM
Larry Hagman got to play in that melon field.
WE NEED HOLY JIHAD ON JONDOUGH AND KESOZE4 by BringingSexyBack	Dec 16th, 2008 12:26:35 PM
A fatwa on them and their families!!!!
Valkyrie Vs. The Spirit Vs. The Happening by Homer Sexual	Dec 16th, 2008 12:41:09 PM
I have to admit that the Happening was so terrible and laughable that I was a bit amused by it. Before reading this, I just thought the Spirit looked boring. Now it may actually be amusing, if it is indeed as bad as claimed. Valkyrie actually looks as bad as either of these...I get the giggles every time I see Tom Cruise in the preview. And I actually used to like him...about 6 years ago.
El Gringo's review of THE SPIRIT was better... by Leafar the Lost	Dec 16th, 2008 01:51:05 PM
...and I mean a million times better than this shit-cake! Based on El Gringo's well written review I will not see THE SPIRIT.
HOLDS BOTTOM OF SHOE AT JONDOUGH by BringingSexyBack	Dec 16th, 2008 02:05:46 PM
Consider yourself shoe'd mofo!!!
BSB by ArcadianDS	Dec 16th, 2008 03:27:38 PM
you win the talkback.
Jondough is an idiot by batzilla	Dec 16th, 2008 04:43:21 PM
What a painful thing to read. Or, TRY and read anyway. I couldn't get very far and so I started skipping through it only to continually land on yet another attempt at humor/sarcasm and so I finally gave up. What a buffoon.
Batman: Dead End Has Its Great Merits!!! by Media Messiah	Dec 16th, 2008 06:39:07 PM
That costume is the most amazing look that Batman has ever had in any of his live action incarnations. The actor in the costume actually looks like Batman come to life from a comic book, but very realistic and believable in every detail. Christian Bale, however, looks silly in the cowl they have him wearing. But I digress, back to Dead End. How about the shot where Batman rises from the puddle of water in the alley, it looked like something from the animated show or the comic books? Then there is the clear fight choreography that you can actually see for once, unlike the official Batman movies that look horrible and are truncated via editing and hidden in shadow because the scenes are not blocked out and shot right; and the weighty costume makes Bale move around like a bulky stiff and slow moving robot??? It really looks ridiculous--in fact, he looks, ridiculous!!! Cut-out the Joker scene from Batman: Dead End, and they'd have a next to perfect short film. As it is, it puts the Batman movies to shame!!! And how about those Baterang cutting weapons/brass knuckles? That looks more realistic than any hand weapon Christian Bale has used in his movies???
jesus. by ragingdrunklove	Dec 16th, 2008 06:43:23 PM
this was probably the worst review i've ever read. granted, he's probably right about the film, but still...this is what happens when an unfunny person is repeatedly told that they are hilarious.
PS--Batman: Dead End by Media Messiah	Dec 16th, 2008 06:46:20 PM
The atmosphere, the lighting, the rain, the slow motion, even the exciting music taken from the movie Predator, really creates a exceptional look and feel for the film. They should really use the guy who directed and created it(a special effects guy I have heard) as a creative consultant for the Batman films in order to properly nail the Batman look and feel of Batman.
Media Messiah by D.Vader	Dec 16th, 2008 07:01:37 PM
It was not that good.
Holy Tinselshit. by monolithik	Dec 16th, 2008 07:13:24 PM
Or Dreidelballs, as long as we're being politically correct. But are we really still on the Batman thing? Isn't there a TB from 1989 for that? Rudolph the Red-Nosed Fuckdoll, are we missing the mark here. This talkback is dedicated to the brilliant paradox of a "review" that is 100% right(The Spirit sucks, we get it -- they can't even find 90 seconds of footage to make a decent trailer) while simultaneously 500% wrong(Rape jokes, wasting a thousand words on explaining to us why B.E. sucked when we really don't need help in that department, mentioning the name Tom Cruise -- and even stretching it out, so it curses more space than usual... etc.). This "review" is an aberration -- an abomination, and we have come to kill it - and any of its spawn - with fire. Can we agree on this?
AICN: stop printing dreck like this by KCMOSHer	Dec 16th, 2008 08:12:10 PM
This makes me want to see the movie. It could be an act of genius on the part of the studio, a reverse plant. Write a review so incomprehensibly shitty that readers feel compelled to go see it just to spite the writer. C'mon, AICN, you can seriously do better. We all know you cats are going to get early peeks at this, so you'll have reviews as soon or sooner than everyone else, don't stoop to bogus writing like this in the eager chase for an early review.
This talkback has been very entertaining. by Hamtaro Hentai	Dec 16th, 2008 08:19:43 PM
I almost feel sorry for the guy, but then again I didn't read through that entire 'review.' Even skimming it, though, made my brain hurt.
Media Messiah by kungfuhustler84	Dec 16th, 2008 09:51:42 PM
You may be the biggest moron I have ever seen on this site. Calling Batman: Dead End the definitive live-action version of the Batman. it's a fan film shithead. It looks like a fan film, and it's executed like one. What do you have to say about Batman's frequent grunts and hollers during the fight? what about Batman and Predator circling each other? That shit was just dumb.
by Staldo	Dec 16th, 2008 10:47:28 PM
I thought Battlefield Earth was lame-ass TV movie bad, but no worse than that, not the kind of bad you celebrate with friends. John Travolta is one shitty alien overlord,and scientology is for lost retards and epitomizes everything stupid about religion , but ultimately BFE is no Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey or any given MST3K film in my book of delightful shittiness.
Batman:Dead End by Staldo	Dec 16th, 2008 11:06:36 PM
Batman:Dead End was one of the greatest fan films ever, even if they got a Men's Health model to play Batman and Walter Koenig's son to play Joker almost like a prescient nod to all the preening, virginal jackasses who tried to cop the mannerisms of the Ledger Joker for Halloween this year. They need to make a sequel where a flames-free optimus prime steps on the predators and saves Batman.
One good thing about Batman: Dead End by Stalkeye	Dec 17th, 2008 05:01:14 AM
Atleast they got the costume right.Grey & Black FTW!!

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Jondough Deems Frank Miller’s THE SPIRIT The Worst Movie He’s Ever Seen!!

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