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Moriarty reviews LAKE PLACID. "

I'm first, probably, and nobody cares. by Zeylan	Jul 11th, 1999 10:41:25 PM
I'm sorry, but the whole premise of a fuckin' alligator in Maine is lame. No two ways about it.
Moby Says: Lake Plastic by Moby	Jul 11th, 1999 10:45:17 PM
This is really not that scary, I'm told. I hear from some sources that the humor is great and carries the movie(Dave Poland) and that the humor is just awful as is the rest of the jaw-droppingly awful movie(James Berardinelli). It could be good or bad, but I'm certainly more excited about The Haunting and Deep Blue Sea. RED SECTOR ONE at MP3.com
IS THE MOVIE FULL OF CROC....???? by misterWINKIE	Jul 11th, 1999 10:53:04 PM
YUP....:) just hope it is good enough
twister was the last good formula pic by halfway	Jul 11th, 1999 10:54:06 PM
There hasn't been any good movies that use the standard adventure, forces of nature scenario since twister and that's only because of the effects. Something about a giant alligator doesn't scare me much. Probably cuz they wasted the best scenes in the trailer. And the only reason twister worked is because the formula was used so well an it didn't try to be more intelligent that it had to be
I'm thrid. I'm so excited I splooghed my pants. by Tall_Boy	Jul 11th, 1999 10:55:46 PM
yay. Killer Alligators. Please, bomb you sonofabitch. . . (and dear god, don't have my girl drag me to this movie, let us go see "Eyes Wide Shut" instead, okay?!) PS- is this Moriarty AICN? Where's Harry's reviews?
make that fifth by Tall_Boy	Jul 11th, 1999 10:57:17 PM
I know you don't care. Neither do I but its 1:54 AM and I don't wanna go to bed. . .
Some notes on Placid by Alessan	Jul 12th, 1999 12:09:52 AM
1. Isn't Maine Steve King territory? I wouldn't think he would allow outside monsters on his turf. Kelly, look out! He may be down but he sure as hell ain't out! 2. It's good that Oliver Playy is getting some roles. I've never seen him in a scene he didn't steal. Oh, and: is swimming with crocodiles like swimming with dolphins? How about giving birth? 3. Isn't Gleeson Little Hamish from Braveheart? Goodie!
Ode to Tremors? by Milo_357	Jul 12th, 1999 05:09:30 AM
"I liked LAKE PLACID the way most people that really dig TREMORS dig that movie." Holy effing shoot the monkey with Ralph the screaming wonder fish. Hot Damn, I've been waiting for something like Tremors since, well, you know... I can't wait for this flick. Platt rocks. "this was given to me be the Czarina of America" please....
Crocs by Ignatius Reilly	Jul 12th, 1999 05:23:50 AM
I'm quite looking forward to seeing this now. To be anal for a moment, this is a crocodile movie, not, as Harry suggested, an alligator movie. Crocodiles are larger, and more ancient.
ANACONDA by W. Leach	Jul 12th, 1999 05:46:08 AM
For me, the definitive giant monster movie of the last few years is ANACONDA. What can you say about a movie where Jon Voight is devoured and then regurgitated by a giant snake?
Rip-off from the X-files by 72gedt	Jul 12th, 1999 07:45:18 AM
Eighty minutes? Male and female investigators on the trail of a crocidile in a rustic lake location, with goofy one liners about the sherrif and the backward locals? Gee, wasn't that an episode of the X-files? How quickly we forget.
Alligators / Graboids by holomorphic	Jul 12th, 1999 09:55:38 AM
I'm frankly a little stunned at the parallel drawn between this film and "Tremors". On the other hand, the trailer for "Placid" is so uncomfortably bad while containing halfway respectable actors that the only explanation for the film's existence can be that it really is a new entry into the "comic camp B-movie" horror genre. However, I think it's safe to say that at $8 a hit, this movie will fail miserably. Why don't they attempt to charge half price for "cheesefest horror schlock" or something? It's gotten to the point where I'm either paying for the work of a thousand talented computer animators (e.g. Star Wars), or I'm paying to see the work of a filmmaker who pushes the boundaries of convention (e.g. Eyes Wide Shut, Blair Witch Project). I don't have time for half-hearted attempts to recreate the glory of Ron Underwood's killer-worm masterpiece.
have mercy please by lerner	Jul 12th, 1999 10:08:04 AM
is there any movie out there that moriarty does not have a glowing review for? enough of this bullshit. stop applauding all the lame shit that is coming out. first bowfinger and now this. come on man. every movie gets undisputed accolades from you. where has all the biting sarcasm gone? hve you lost yourself completely in the ass of hollywood. please stop puckering, it is making me nauseous.
RE: lerner by mckracken	Jul 12th, 1999 10:37:59 AM
"is there any movie out there that moriarty does not have a glowing review for?" Obviously Lerner never read Moriarty's "glowing review" for "Wild Wild West" HAHAH!!! I was whole heartedly surprised by the success of ANACONDA that I actually might go see this. After moderatly liking H20 by Steve Miner I might appreciate this a bit more than any other movie. --McK
LAKE PLACID TRAILER IS "THE BOMB"!!!!! by JaneDoe33	Jul 12th, 1999 12:38:21 PM
I don't know how good the movie's gonna be, but they've already got my $8 after seeing that great trailer! Wow! That movie's gonna make at least $30 or 35 million opening weekend. (Maybe even 50 million) I think it might even beat TITANIC's record at the box office. I don't see how it couldn't. Everyone and their mom is gonna see that damn thing. Did you see that part on the trailer where the one guy goes: "He didn't eat me." And then the other guy goes: "Because he just ate a cow, stupid!" Oh, man! That's too much! You go girl! STAR WARS EPISODE ONE look out!
Meredith Salenger?! by METHOS	Jul 12th, 1999 12:42:43 PM
Holy shit! I think I'll go rent "The Journey of Natty Gann" and the truly awful "Dream a Little Dream" just to be sure. I have a very large pain threshold. However I do believe that the definitive Steve Miner movie is the memorable "Friday the 13th 3-D." That movie never fails to make howl with laughter. Cheech and Chong and teen flick crap with Dana (Kimberly's friend on Diff'rent Strokes) Kimmel meets Jason discovering his first hockey mask complete with all the cheesy 3D "magic." Of course, people went in droves in '83. Last week I saw a midnight show of the original "Friday the 13th," it amazed me that a large group of kids showed up, and the movie still worked on them. Some of them actually got scared. I was surprised. I guess New Line should stop being so picky about the franchise, and start churning 'em out like Paramount used to do. Here's to part 1 and 2 on DVD in October!
Alligator McBeal? by raydeck	Jul 12th, 1999 01:09:03 PM
I wonder whether the soul who penned this crododilic celluloid is the man who brought us Chicago Hope, the Practice and (god help him) Ally McBeal? The IMDB profile makes me think so, but does anyone have more solid data?
Ever seen a croc up close before? by Das Ringking	Jul 12th, 1999 05:09:07 PM
Alligators and crocidiles are two DIFFERENT species and they are distant cousins to each other. Most alligators can grow up to 15 to 20 feet, depending on where the alligators' primary habitats (like in southern USA or in Africa) whereas crocidiles can grow to a whopping 25 to 30 feet, in some exceptional cases, can grow to 33 feets in lenght! Talk about BIG! The crocs are exclusively predators, carnivorous in nature. They can take and kill any large animal, even a huge water buffalo! The latter in which I saw this in awe in a National Geographic special on crocidiles in Africa and I screamed, "Sweet Jesus!" when a huge crocidile just grabbed an adult water buffalo like a piece of paper while attempting to cross a creek. As soon as this croc got a leghold on that water buffalo, three other crocs rushed in very quickly and completely devoured the hapless water buffalo in the matter of minutes! PRE-HISTORIC crocidiles are twice bigger than the modern crocidiles! I personally saw the entire skeleton of a pre-historic crocidile at the Smithsonian Musueum of Natural History and get this size: 75 feet in length!! The head itself is the bigger than me which is 6'1". If you see a real croc in front of you, be very afraid...
CrocoConda... by Powerslave	Jul 12th, 1999 06:30:35 PM
...that's what they should have called this one. It looks amusing enough, in a campy sort of way. As for the discussion of 'Twister' being the last good formula picture, don't get me started on that one. 'Twister?' Ugh...
Lake Flacid! by RadioGuy	Jul 12th, 1999 08:09:42 PM
Just got back from an LP sneak. Gotta say a few things... 1) Fonda comes off like a pissed-off Ally McBeal 2) Betty White's few lines are worth $8 alone (yes I am serious) 3) This movie is Anaconda with a better script. 4) WAY TOO FRICKIN SHORT! Come on 80 minutes... It felt like a TV movie... It could have gone for another 20 - 30 minutes easily! 5) There are a few Scream-style "aren't we clever" lines... A fun flick but way too short...
Not the movie I saw by Joe Buck	Jul 14th, 1999 06:22:21 AM
Did we see the same movie, Moriarty? This movie combines every bad horror movie cliche with a Jaws ripoff to create the worst movie I've seen in a theatre this year. I cannot stress enough how awful it is. Fake scares, bad CGI, wooden acting (including Bridget Fonda's worst performance), and a terrible script create a miserable experience. We see that the characters can kill the croc 15 min. into the movie, destroying any sort of power or fear the creature could have otherwise inspired. Aspiring screenwriters everywhere should take heart that this load of crap was greenlighted and given $30M. Avoid at all costs, its not worth seeing even to laugh at. You geek types may get a perverse pleasure out of MST3K'ing this, but believe me, that's the only possible pleasure that could be gained from this excrement. I'm floored that Moriarty praises Steve Miner's direction. This is the most ham-fisted crap this side of a Friday the 13th flick. EVERY cliched shot is present: the croc stalking POV, legs kicking under water, numerous fake scares before the creature attacks. The script reeks of this as well: character conflicts punctuated by horrible one-liners, romantic interludes, plus giving the sherrif the ability to easily kill the creature 15 minutes into the movie pretty much destroys any tension and cheapens the creature, as if the crap CGI didn't do that already. The movie's score is insulting in the way it blatantly rips off Jaws. I especially enjoyed the Pullman/Fonda romantic interlude music:) Save your cash, this is the worst movie I've seen this year (and I've seen 40+ '99 releases fo I've got a pretty good frame of reference).
It all goes up his nose. by Wolfpack	Aug 10th, 2006 07:25:17 PM

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Moriarty reviews LAKE PLACID. "

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