Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news.

Remember That CONQUEST OF THE PLANET OF THE APES Remake We Heard About?? Looks Like It's Getting Closer...

No Friggen Way!! by BobParr	Nov 30th, 2008 09:48:05 PM

Will there be another Lincoln-Monkey? by BobParr	Nov 30th, 2008 09:49:07 PM

Is this a sequel to the Marky Mark movie? by GeorgieBoy	Nov 30th, 2008 09:49:56 PM
If so... Ugh... Frankly either way this is a horrible idea.
why are you linking a fucking CHUD article? by the milf lover	Nov 30th, 2008 09:51:44 PM
stupid bullshit article...
there better be another Lincoln Monkey by Leafy McPlantsalot	Nov 30th, 2008 09:54:48 PM
and he better be visually dynamic
Directed By... by Crow3711	Nov 30th, 2008 09:55:15 PM
Brett Ratner.
The original movie is the only really good movie by Charlie_Allnut	Nov 30th, 2008 09:56:34 PM
in this series. Chuck Heston, the twist ending... Some of the other ones are alright, but not nearly as good. In my humble opinion of course. And I think the remake is a little under rated...Tim Roth and the make up effects were amazing!
they should do a 19th century Apes movie by the milf lover	Nov 30th, 2008 09:58:22 PM
with Ape Lincoln as the president, Ape cowboys vs Ape indians, and all kinds of crazy shit like that. It would be a lot better than just some remake of one of the old Apes movies.
Whatever happened by TheHumanBeingAndFish	Nov 30th, 2008 09:58:50 PM
... to that RoboCop "reimagining" talkback?
'Cuz the remake was so well received by beetlegeuse	Nov 30th, 2008 10:05:55 PM
Say hi to your mother for me, okay?
Bush-Monkey would be too obvious... by bobjustbob	Nov 30th, 2008 10:08:29 PM
... so I had to say it. :) I agree the original is the only really good movie of the bunch. I remember those "Spend a Night With the Apes" marathons many years ago...
The Ape-ening! by Amy Chasing	Nov 30th, 2008 10:11:03 PM
Sequel to most memorable Shyamalan movie in the last couple years. (note: memorable isn't always a good thing)
God damn Hollywood by GreatOne3	Nov 30th, 2008 10:15:46 PM
It's not a fucking remake - it's a completely different movie with the same name. Unoriginal assholes. Just call it a re-boot of the series and give the sequals their own original titles. What in the hell is so hard about that?
Tom Rothman, stick to what you do well... by JimCurry	Nov 30th, 2008 10:18:59 PM
Horrid Cameron Diaz comedies and shitty AVP films.
by Leafy McPlantsalot	Nov 30th, 2008 10:19:58 PM
they should do a robo cop, planet of the apes combo re-imagining movie where Abe lincoln monkey is shot in the head at fords theater and they bring him back as a super robot cop.
great idea Leafy by the milf lover	Nov 30th, 2008 10:22:36 PM
since Lincoln is 19th century, it would have to be a steampunk robot ape, cool as fuck...
I want Burton to explain the end by jccalhoun	Nov 30th, 2008 10:23:20 PM
I want Tim Burton or the writer of that Walberg remake to explain what the end was supposed to set up. While watching some of the Apes films this weekend I got to think about how to do a (re)remake and I think that the only way to do the original film would be to do a double twist so that from the start we think we are in the future of Earth but then at the end it is revealed that this is actually the distant past or something like that. By having the remake not be Earth it took the reason to care out of the film.
I dont think Burton understands the ending by the milf lover	Nov 30th, 2008 10:27:20 PM
he just wanted to have a bigger WTF twist ending than the original, so they just threw the most fucked up shit they could think of at the end. Thus the last 15 minutes totally ruining what was otherwise a perfectly good action sci-fi movie.
Tom Rothman is a Bastard by PTSDPete	Nov 30th, 2008 10:29:55 PM

oh god, no by Darth_Kaos	Nov 30th, 2008 10:40:17 PM
Didn't the last movie flop?
Rothman clearly has a hard on for Apes by sevadro	Nov 30th, 2008 10:44:13 PM
Sat through a marathon this weekend on Fox Movies - in between, Rothman would talk up the movies like they were high art. I'm ambivalent though - as long as someone other than Burton directs (his worst movie hands down) - I guess I could be talked into it.
Leafy, best idea.... by Double M	Nov 30th, 2008 10:48:32 PM
EVER!!
Was that the one with Ricardo Montal"Khan" ?? by picardsucks	Nov 30th, 2008 10:52:39 PM
Who's playing Khan????????
TIM BURTON=WORST RENDITION OF APES by uberman	Nov 30th, 2008 11:08:26 PM
Original: Real outdoor sets-it was believable. Burtons: Fakey indoor sets straight out of an amusement park. How do you mess up POTA? You hire Tim Burton to redo it. Ugh.
About that original twist ending in Planet of the Apes ... by Shan	Nov 30th, 2008 11:09:02 PM
With Charlton Heston's movie ... wouldn't the very first time night fell and they saw the moon, wouldn't they have recognised it? Let alone the exact same gravity and the fact they could breathe the atmosphere - just like Earth. (obviously thinking far too much about this) ...
Straight to DVD by therobcat	Nov 30th, 2008 11:27:46 PM
Starring Donnie Whalberg
I thought Burtons remake ending was understandable by Mace13	Nov 30th, 2008 11:37:58 PM
Still doesn't mean I liked it though. I thought the makeup in the movie was great. But they over did it with all the jumping around crap and having the actors act a little to feral in certain parts. Made the movie a little silly. The story idea wasn't really that bad. But I didn't care much for the ending. Plus i'm not a fan of remakes anyway.I'd much rather see a sequel/continuation of something made rather than a remake. I shy away from remakes in the theatre. And as for the ending. My interpretation of it was that Walbergs character went back in time. The space station went back further in time than him. Thus when he emerged from the timestream into the past is why the descendants of both the humans and the apes from the space station were already there. The apes had evolved and enslaved the humans. Then when walberg finally got to go back into the timestream to his own time he found the society of apes at the end of the movie instead of humans. Thats because it turns out that they were on earth in the past and not another planet. Because of the space station crashing in the past it changed the entire history of the planet. I think the ending would have been better had it not had the apes earth look exactly like our modern day earth. They should have had their own structures and vehicles and technology and etc.,.not have everything look identical to ours. That would have made more sense.
Burton shat on Apes...ANYONE but him by quantize	Nov 30th, 2008 11:38:56 PM
...
jccalhoun by Mace13	Nov 30th, 2008 11:40:56 PM
It was on earth. See my post above for the explanation.
LET THE LOST GUYS RE-DO BENEATH w/DAFOE AS TAYLOR!!! by Shermdawg	Nov 30th, 2008 11:43:08 PM

CONQUEST was a lousy movie... by thegreatwhatzit	Nov 30th, 2008 11:43:38 PM
Perhaps this "remake" is another NBC pilot?
STRAIGHT TO YOUTUBE by Mullah Omar	Nov 30th, 2008 11:51:01 PM
How can they remake the latest film in the series without doing a few prior episodes? Maybe the better question is WHY? Who is clamoring for another PLANET OF THE APES film? Especially a remake? Is there supposed to be any continuity with the Tim Burton film? Or is this a remake of one event from a different part of the timeline? Seems like a weird choice to me, but hell, I'd rather see a decent APES film than half the shit that passes for franchise revivals these days. Or even NEW films, for that matter.
And if they do make this.... by Mace13	Dec 1st, 2008 12:01:51 AM
I'd rather see a sequel to Burtons than a whole other reboot again. It could pick up in the alternate ape earth timeline from the end of Burtons movie. Have the enslaved humans rise up and try to takeover with the help of walbergs character. So maybe he could get his ship repaired and return to the past a second time to try and repair the damage that was done to earths history?
Why Do They Keep Remaking BAD Movies? by LeftFoot	Dec 1st, 2008 12:03:40 AM

The equivalent of this movie. . . by Mr Slippy Fist	Dec 1st, 2008 12:07:38 AM
is me shitting into my hand and throwing it at the TV.
One last post... by Mace13	Dec 1st, 2008 12:11:26 AM
Just to clarify.... Burtons big twist on the apes remake was that instead of traveling to earths future like the original movies did his remake had them traveling to earths past instead. There i'm done. Goodnight.
Mark Wahlberg gonna be in it? by ThaJackaL	Dec 1st, 2008 12:13:09 AM
It would be nice he was good in his apes movie which I actually liked a lot. I even own the dvd.
THANK GOD!!! People finally dissing Burton. by Lenny8	Dec 1st, 2008 12:18:30 AM
About frigging time. His movies are one-note, lame, "safe" pieces of crap. He hit his highs with Scissorhands and that was it, he's remaking the same movies over and over. at least Apes didn't have Johnny Depp in it with a weird haircut. But he does ruin anything he touches these days, and FINALLY AICN readers are dissing him. There is a God.
Ok but only if Burton makes it by kafka07	Dec 1st, 2008 01:16:18 AM
because his Apes film was so amazing. And to answer your question, yes I am very very high right now.
I assume this remake will have one or more by Xiphos_2	Dec 1st, 2008 01:31:18 AM
Of the following: 1. Shakey cam 2. Quick cuts. 3. Emo Rock/NuMetal sound track. 4. A wan, fey, skinny british lad with a waxed chest as a Manly sort of fella. 5. A PG13 rating insuring that it will be just interesting enough to keep you watching for 32 minuts. Finally, for the love of god, please give Uwe Boll a shot at this. It would be the greatests schlock movie of all time. Plus it will have gratuitus amounts of nudity. That's always helpful.
Whats has Burton done lately anyway? by Cotton McKnight	Dec 1st, 2008 02:04:12 AM
He made a less than stellar POTA movie, and he made a pretty crappy remake of Willy Wonka called Charlie and the Chocolate factory. With two really good actors to boot (yes I just called Mark Walburg a good actor). Oh and lets not forget the 50,000th release of a Nightmare Before Christmas. He's not only overrated, he is awful. For the record I didn't like his Batman either but that's a matter of opinion, of course.
It wasn't Burton's fault that POTA remake sucked balls... by Mike_D	Dec 1st, 2008 02:40:21 AM
He came in after the script was already written and scenes were already filmed.
xiphos_2... by kaspianwithak	Dec 1st, 2008 02:47:42 AM
How can it have gratuitous nudity and still be pg-13? Clearly you should direct the movie, instead of Uwe Boll.
Burton's a crap action director by kwisatzhaderach	Dec 1st, 2008 02:58:17 AM
He's great at fantasy but couldn't string a half decent action sequence together to save his life. Check out the action in Batman, Batman Returns and Planet of the Apes. Woeful.
kaspianwithak by Xiphos_2	Dec 1st, 2008 03:15:12 AM
Not really down with a sense of humor are you? Dumbfuck
cuz the last one was such a spectacular cinematic achievement. by alice 13	Dec 1st, 2008 03:22:36 AM
next- mount rushmore!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't believe this will be made by Vern	Dec 1st, 2008 03:23:34 AM
but Chud via Production Weekly says Scott Frank will write and direct. If you saw his directorial debut THE LOOKOUT it was very quiet and carefully constructed and not some shaky cam shit. I would be interested to see what he would do. But come one. Everybody hates the APES remake, and CAESAR doesn't have the same name recognition that one did. Also Chud says it will not be a movie with people in makeup as chimps, they will be actual chimp-sized chimps. So no, this will not be made.
AVATAR - Fucking your eyeballs in 2009!!! by Motoko Kusanagi	Dec 1st, 2008 03:26:10 AM
nothing else matters
Xiphos by kungfuhustler84	Dec 1st, 2008 03:34:07 AM
you really wanna see a bunch of NAKED MONKEYS runnin around?!!! Go to the zoo for that pervert. Even Boll wouldn't dare stoop as low as exploiting the bodies of a bunch of damn dirty apes.
Cotton by kungfuhustler84	Dec 1st, 2008 03:36:18 AM
I don't know man, I just rewatched Sweeney the other night to make sure. That movie still kicks ass in my opinion.
For The Love Of The Law Giver by AngryTex	Dec 1st, 2008 03:40:10 AM
Won't someone just make a movie based on the damn book already?
The remake's ending was clear by Bodenland Unbound	Dec 1st, 2008 04:19:27 AM
Burton Apes' movie was horrible (in many ways) but simple to understand: Planet of the apes was not Earth, it was a distant planet (two moons, do you remember?). The Planet in the remake was accidentally created by the space-chimp's time travelling (back in time) to a distant planet (where the whole space-ship would crash too) (script hole: what about the horses? where did they came from?) At the end of the movie, the antagonist (Thade) escaped from planet of the apes and travelled back in time to another planet: Earth. So the antagonist changed Earth history before the return of the protagonist. That's the point of the movie. The plot is simple. It's not difficult to get.
Alfonzo Cuaron... by emeraldboy	Dec 1st, 2008 05:21:04 AM
Has been named as director for the remake of Roald Dahls the witches and I couldnt be happier. Dahl hated the version by henson. calling it a stupid little kids movie.
well this is weird by The Amazing G	Dec 1st, 2008 05:32:58 AM
would it be a sequel to the Marky Mark one? or a remake of a sequel to the Heston one? either way it's awfully strange news....
I AM SPARTACUS! by The Brains	Dec 1st, 2008 05:45:53 AM

Sleepy Hollow was Burtons last great flick by I_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looki ng_for	Dec 1st, 2008 05:55:24 AM
POTA and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory were shit, Sweeney Todd and Big Fish were just ok. From what i understand, Burton jumped straight from two years trying to get Superman made into PotA and basically started filming almost immediately. That would account for how much of a mess the film was. Probably another one of Fox's "we must meet release date" bullshit.
Fox just wants to exploit its brand names... by I_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looki ng_for	Dec 1st, 2008 05:57:02 AM
it doesn't give a shit if its a good flick or not.
Fuck Tim Rothman by Gungan Slayer	Dec 1st, 2008 05:57:41 AM
seriously, can this guy just go away and never come back?
Chocolate apes. It's the book ending by u.k. star	Dec 1st, 2008 06:00:38 AM
Now I haven't read the book "planet of the apes", since I was 12 but the way Burton's movie ends is pretty much the ending of the book. The "hereo" leave the planet of the apes and when he get back to Earth it's ruled by apes. Now to be fair in the book, he returns to Earth in the "future" but still, all those moaning about Burton's movie ending, need to realise it's an ending faithful to the source material. (Which we often complain to many movies are not). Charlie and the chocolate factory is a far,far, FAR more faithfull adaption of the book "Charlie & The Chocolate Factory" than "Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory". It's also a much beeter film as a whole I think. I may only feel that way because I've been a Dahl fan all my life and couldn't stand the "original" film because it was a very inferior version of that story. Pretty much everyone I know who read the book loves Burtons film, and anyone I know who hasn't (and is over about 30, prefers the "original" movie. Generally i find kids prefer the Burton version whether they've read the books or not.
Burton's film by The Brains	Dec 1st, 2008 06:04:00 AM
He did complain that he had all these ideas but they cut the budget and that there were posters in the cinema stating the release date before the movie was even finished.
Bet it's nowhere near as ballsy as the original. by Mr Nicholas	Dec 1st, 2008 06:30:24 AM

I rented sweeney todd... by emeraldboy	Dec 1st, 2008 06:34:02 AM
But as someone who has seen all of tim burtons films. yes all of them. I couldnt finish sweeney todd when I rented it out. I watched maybe an hour and gave up. I found the movie cold and mechanical. As a roald Dhal fan I loved Charlie and the Choclate and the factory. I cant wait to see what burton has done with alice in wonderland. Big fish has a great ending. but that film was far too like Forrest gump. Ed wood and edward Scissorhands are his masterpieces. and the opening of batman returns is the best opening for a comic book film ever. but like all burtons films then and now. the story comes second to the look of the movie.
The film's conclusion? by The Bicycle Sharer	Dec 1st, 2008 06:36:01 AM
The damned dirty ape runs for president of the U.S. and wins in a stunning landslide hailed as a simian rights victory. All hail, Caesar!
film the Novel and keep its ending!!!! by j2talk	Dec 1st, 2008 06:58:33 AM
seriously whats so hard about that??? If Burton had used the books or even the original films ending it would have been much better received....
burton's twist is confusing? by Bouncy X	Dec 1st, 2008 07:10:49 AM
it seemed straightforward to me. Roth's ape went back in time and changed the timeline hence what earth looked like when Whalberg arrived. i realize it looked like modern times and not the apparent future where he's from but many movies show a future that aside from technology, dont look that different. so who says he's in the past then? either way though, the ape statue makes sense, especially since its Roth's ape and not just a random one.
Sorry-u.k. star,but the books ending by j2talk	Dec 1st, 2008 07:11:27 AM
the novels ending did have them returning to earth and finding apes in Paris..BUT then cuts to the Person who has found the journal of Ulysse Merou-the books hero- and it is revealed to be a chimpanzee, who is skeptical of "rational men" and assumes its a fraud as it is too fanciful to believe,he then continues to "sail" thru space in their ship...
we need a Nick Cage Planet of the Apes movie by Spandau Belly	Dec 1st, 2008 07:21:01 AM
I have this deep burning need to see Cage spazz out around A-list actors in monkey makeup.
The original was great... by DocPazuzu	Dec 1st, 2008 07:27:39 AM
...DESPITE Fox. Yes, I broke down and bought that stupid ultimate monkey head package and watched every minute of that stuff because I've been a POTA freak since early childhood. What struck me as I watched the docus is how utterly clueless and greedy Fox execs seemed to be even then. Zanuck, who sounds like a pinhead, cannot - to this day - see any amount of subtext in POTA whatsoever. Furthermore, after the huge success of POTA, one would think Fox would throw more cash at the sequel, but they did the opposite. Greedy fucks that they are, they threw less and less money at following sequels, watering them down while trying to maximise profit before the franchise sputtered to a halt. Oh, and Burton's POTA sucked sweaty gibbon balls even if the make-up was outstanding.
Well at least this time... by Kid Z	Dec 1st, 2008 07:28:09 AM
...Rothman will be fucking up another franchise before it even gets started.
"Hey there chimp... by Kid Z	Dec 1st, 2008 07:36:30 AM
... What's goin' down? So how ya been? Okay, gret. Say "Hi" to your mom for me!"
Lousy Human Bastards by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Dec 1st, 2008 07:43:34 AM
How dare they remake this. At least give Ricardo Montablan a cameo. Yes picardsucks, this was his movie.
j2talk by u.k. star	Dec 1st, 2008 07:46:46 AM
That's what I said. at the end he goes BACK to Earth and finds apes in control. Then he flys off again, as oppossed to getting trapped there. It happens at the end, even if it isn't exactly the very last thing. The apes thinking it was just a "fanciful fiction" I think is the "ending" before that ending. But as I said I haven't read it since I was 12 so I'm willing to accept I may be remembering the order incorrectly, but him going back to an ape ruled Paris is at the end of the book. Also Burton never wrote the film, as I recall, Fox had them rewritting the film after it had started, to keep trimming the budget, and it was a case of changing some of the things he really hated, but there being no time to "fix" the film to his liking because of Fox. Given their track record I'm willing to believe they did more damage to this movie than Burton, or even the writers.
Shan by FluffyUnbound	Dec 1st, 2008 07:49:10 AM
"...wouldn't the very first time night fell and they saw the moon, wouldn't they have recognised it?" I believe there's a throwaway line of dialogue while the astronauts are still in the desert in the beginning that every night there's strange cloud cover lit by an odd glow. That would explain why they don't see the Moon, and seems to be telegraphing that the environment has been irradiated in some way. Of course, there are night time scenes later where you don't see the cloud cover or the radiation, but they didn't have CGI back then so I guess I forgive them. And having "real" chimps I assume means CGI renditions of how adult male chimps actually look, and frankly that could work as a horror film. Watch video of adult male chimps who have decided to fuck something up, and then in your imagination put thousands of the fuckers in a burning city at night. It could work if they went balls to the wall. I know they wouldn't do that because it's Fox, but in theory it could be done.
The novel's ending by FluffyUnbound	Dec 1st, 2008 07:54:09 AM
The novel ending isn't odd at all. In the novel the other planet is not Earth. It's a planet like Earth where the human beings became decadent while ruling over an underclass of ape slaves, and eventually the apes just pushed them aside. The narrator escapes and flies back to Earth, but when he lands in France of the future he discovers that while he was gone the humans have made the same mistake there too.
Burton's Ending Explained Once and For All. by Ingeld	Dec 1st, 2008 08:15:49 AM
Wahlberg travels to the earth's distant future in which apes have become intelligent. In the millions of elapsed years the chimps randomly tapping at typewriters managed to recreate the entire works of Shakespeare. After that success, they randomly swing leftover human tools until they recreate Washington DC complete with Ape Lincoln. Now, was that so hard to follow? Really.
After Apes, are there any more Fox movie franchises left to rape by Prof. Pop-Cult	Dec 1st, 2008 08:21:33 AM
Alien, Predator and Apes... anything else in the Fox vault that can be tarnished? I think Fox owns the first Star Wars movie (but not any of the others). Maybe Fox has the right to re-make/re-envision the first Star Wars and create sequels based on that. That would be a great way to have our Star Wars childhoods double-raped. (But at least it would piss off Lucas if Fox pulled this.)
Burton by dale_cooper	Dec 1st, 2008 08:28:43 AM
Let's get this straight, folks. Burton IS overrated but he's not horrible. Of course the man is all style, so it's entirely subjective if you buy into the style or not. He's not much of a storyteller or action director. Basically, he does his best work when the right material comes along. Some ideas are so perfect for him that no one else could have done them - "Edward Scissorhands," "Ed Wood." Unfortunately, others were not made for him at all, or seemed to be but then really weren't. Of the recent run of Burton movies: I don't get the love for "Sleepy Hollow." That to me was one of the first signs that his schtick was getting tired and that he could really wreck a movie without a good script. "Sleepy Hollow"'s script was plum awful, Depp was not at his charismatic best, and all sight of the excellent source material was lost. A waste buried in good production design. After that he's done some decent work ("Big Fish") and some bad ("Planet of the Apes" was an indifferent shrug of a movie). "Sweeney Todd" is the best movie he's made in years as far as I'm concerned - the material is so suited to him, and he stuck to it, right down to the blacker-than-black ending. It's not a perfect movie but it's confident and well-made, which is much more than I can say for "Sleepy Hollow." (Yeah, I'm still kind of bitter over that movie's failure.)
"Why Do They Keep Remaking BAD Movies?" by Ingeld	Dec 1st, 2008 08:37:36 AM
Why to get them right! After all, a good movie doesn't need to get remade.
Hey monkey. by Christopher3	Dec 1st, 2008 08:51:41 AM
How are you? I produce "Entourage." Do you watch that show? Well, OK then, say hi to your ma for me.
Ed Wood by I_am_not_the_droid_you_are_looki ng_for	Dec 1st, 2008 08:57:56 AM
is Burtons crowning achievement. The best biopic I've seen.
Will probably suck by Thot	Dec 1st, 2008 09:03:54 AM
I like the idea, but I also kinda liked the idea of a Burton "re-imagining". Hah! What a steaming pile that was. I still laugh when I think of the hilariously awful makeup on the chimp females! They actually had Max Factor eyebrows and trendy 21st century hairstyles! It sucked in so many other ways but I don't have the time to list them.
I watched the entire weekend marathon! by Powers Boothe	Dec 1st, 2008 09:22:30 AM
All were presented in Widescreen with remastered picture and sound... While I understand it's trendy to bash the sequels, the third film, Escape From The Planet Of The Apes is terrific. Surprisingly underrated.
PLANET OF THE RAPED MY CHILDHOOD by Mullah Omar	Dec 1st, 2008 09:26:00 AM
Well not really, but there is no way that a modern-day studio would have the balls to unload a franchise episode as grim as the original APES series. And that makes me kind of sad.
Powers Boothe by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Dec 1st, 2008 09:36:23 AM
After the original I would have to say my favorites in order were Escape, Conquest, Battle, and Beneath. They were all good in their own way. But Escape and Conquest were both great.
Please do not make this with real chimps/apes by Ye Not Guilty	Dec 1st, 2008 10:11:24 AM
The animals that are used to make live-action animal films can't be returned to the wild and usually zoos don't want them either, so they either wind up being euthanized or being sold on the black market to some crappy owner, or in a shelter somewhere. Personally I never liked Conquest of the Planet of the Apes anyways and I think this film would suck if made, but if it does get made, please do not use real animals!
CHILDREN OF FUCKING MEN!!! by HoboCode	Dec 1st, 2008 10:11:42 AM
Pull my finger.
You know, there won't be a need for remakes by Orcus	Dec 1st, 2008 10:17:46 AM
If folks will just watch the originals
Orcus by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Dec 1st, 2008 10:53:22 AM
So you're saying no one watched Planet of the Apes, or Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory?
Planet of the Rapes by Bobman46	Dec 1st, 2008 10:58:43 AM
.......thats just what I read when glancing over a comment about raping films.
Bodenland Unbound - Ending by Durendal	Dec 1st, 2008 11:04:52 AM
No, that makes no fucking sense as Thade is trapped at the end of the movie, would have no idea how to fly a ship, and would have nothing but stupid apes to fuck if he got to earth, so no real changing of history there as he couldn't even make a dent in the genepool, much less alter the entire course of evolution or somehow make all the primates super smart. The ending makes zero sense whatsoever.
If they want me to see this there better be free bananas at the by Knobules	Dec 1st, 2008 11:09:24 AM
And I dont recall one instance in any of this monkey business where an ape was shown eating a banana. This is horseshit!
"Because I loathe bananas" by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Dec 1st, 2008 11:15:16 AM
Zera!
They wouldn't use wild apes, would they? by veebeeyes	Dec 1st, 2008 11:15:58 AM
I'd imagine that wild apes would be sort of hard to get to cooperate in front of the camera anyway. Wouldn't it be better to use some chimps that are ALREADY performing apes? Then when filming is done, they can just return the chimps to their owners. Sure, the owners might be crappy, but they'd have been the owners before the movie was even made, so no harm done. Is that usually the way they use animals in movies? Like, I recall hearing that the bigass bear from that John Candy movie was used in a lot of movies. Whenever someone needed a bear in the movie, they'd just call up the bear's owner and ask him if they can use his bear.
I think some geeks are ignorant of the WHOLE by Grammaton Cleric Binks	Dec 1st, 2008 11:16:25 AM
series. I suggest pulling a Powers Boothe, and watching all at least once, then you'll at least have some geek background.
"NOW! FIGHT LIKE APES!" by SpikeTBB	Dec 1st, 2008 11:36:34 AM
Just felt a primate urge to shout that.
"You cut out his BRAIN, you bloody baboon!" by SpikeTBB	Dec 1st, 2008 11:43:05 AM
Last one, I promise. But if I don't post it here I run around my building saying it, and no one gets any work done.
ah hell by yubnubrocks	Dec 1st, 2008 11:58:55 AM
How about a remake of ZARDOZ? With Nicholas Cage!!
No Burton count me in! by Norm3	Dec 1st, 2008 01:07:59 PM
As long as T. Burton is not involved. & its a complete remake with the look of the 70s Apes movies. I can't stand the look of the Burton movie.
Only real monkeys! by otm shank	Dec 1st, 2008 01:23:45 PM
No human actors at all. Dress em' up, put em' in a room, start filming. 90 minutes of shit flinging. Just like most other movies Fox produces these days. Oh, and fuck Tom Rothman! Can't this guy fall down a cliff or something?
Grammaton Cleric Binks by Orcus	Dec 1st, 2008 01:28:21 PM
New or old? Orcus' head hurts now. They really should do this up like TBS did Monkey Movie versions of TPM and others. Or maybe like Lancelot Link. THAT would be funny
LANCELOT LINK: SECRET CHIMP by thegreatwhatzit	Dec 1st, 2008 01:38:41 PM
Great show. Lance retired from acting; he's now NBC's Programming Director.
Dr Zeus, Dr. Zeus by LarryTate	Dec 1st, 2008 01:42:08 PM
I could not sit thru any of the Planet of the Rapes marathon. I made it prob 2 hours into one of them. The undertone themes were good back in the time.. but jeez.. how boring and slow paced!
HUZZAH FOR LANCELOT LINK! by Orcus	Dec 1st, 2008 01:42:37 PM
Orcus is heartened that there are those who remember him. Him and Mata Hairy
As long as we're dissing Burton's POTA... by Kid Z	Dec 1st, 2008 01:51:51 PM
... I hated how the ape makeup on Burton's girlfriend somehow made her look eerily like Michael Jackson! (Also hated how the Nova chick wore a baggy leather dress instead of a shredded fur bikini, as god and Charlton Heston so rightfully intended!)
There's only 1 reason to remake this movie by godzthor1	Dec 1st, 2008 01:56:23 PM
Lego: Planet of the Apes! C'mon, you know you want it...
Kid Z by Chief Joseph	Dec 1st, 2008 02:29:21 PM
Burton so desperately wanted the audience to think his ape girlfriend was hot; meanwhile he ignored the hot human girl that was _supposed_ to be the love interest.
Zardoz is perfect as is. by FluffyUnbound	Dec 1st, 2008 02:36:25 PM
No Nicolas Cage please. Actually, the thought of Nicolas Cage in the exterminator costume is making me want to puke. I know you're joking, but please confine yourselves to jokes that won't make me puke. Thanks.
real apes no way by Norm3	Dec 1st, 2008 03:26:34 PM
thats insane & couldn't work.
They should make "Revolution on the POTA" by Gungan Slayer	Dec 1st, 2008 03:53:26 PM
The new comic series "Revolution on the Planet of the Apes" which was released some two years ago was really good, and I think would serve as some solid material to base a film or tv series off of. Among other things, the comic miniseries reveals the rise of events that eventually lead to "Conquest" and "Battle." It's got some great artwork...I highly recommend it, especially to fans of the original POTA series. Oh, and fuck Tim Rothman.
How was the ending to the original Planet of The Apes such a sho by theyreflockingthisway	Dec 1st, 2008 03:59:24 PM
I mean the first lines they say in the film is something like "we've been travelling for thousands of years - Earth is probably a very different place now". Add to that other clues such as they find a buried child's doll and the Statue of Liberty ending is hardly surprising. Did people pay less attention to movies back then or something?
How the apes survived... by Embeedeuce	Dec 1st, 2008 04:00:32 PM
...nuclear holocaust? They hid in a 1950's fridge. OH SNAP!
"such a shock" the above is supposed to say by theyreflockingthisway	Dec 1st, 2008 04:07:00 PM

I guess it has to be a reboot by Subtlety	Dec 1st, 2008 04:31:43 PM
Burton's POTA was just a colossal yawn, and the ending is so stupid that any movie, even a direct-to-video cheapie, would have to shun it. For the love of God keep Burton away from this. With little name recognition and a pedigree from the fourth sequel, I suspect they want to do it on the cheap. I suggest they let Blomkamp give it a shot and prove what he can do with a smart sci-fi plot with some action elements.
Shan by Cyrus Clops	Dec 1st, 2008 04:34:59 PM
For years in discussing the original movie, I would say to people, "Why wouldn't Taylor go, 'Wait, how are there horses on this planet? And why are these ape-creatures speaking English...? Holy shit! We must still be on Earth!'" Of course, it is overanalyzing and could be chalked up to any number of things--the astronauts are traumatized, disoriented, have no reason to think they're on Earth to begin with. So if you really want the No-Prize, you can rationalize it any number of ways, I suppose.
More Apes... by DeeJay	Dec 1st, 2008 04:46:32 PM
Motion capture on real animals could look "interesting," but I don't see how they could pull-off animating/compositing their faces without the process becoming more complicated than its worth. Then there's the whole humane issue that's already been raised. I still think they should just ignore Burton's work (which requires fans to make-up things which weren't part of the story in order for it to make the slightest bit of sense), and place a new film within the continuum of the original series. Base it in Eastern Europe, perhaps, and explore other ape species (having a few Tamarin would be interesting) along with other languages. Since POTA characters are so often out-of-place, the undergirding theme could easily focus on adaption versus extinction, as opposed to discrimination and oppression.
Let's by Ingeld	Dec 1st, 2008 04:56:25 PM

Let's give another species a try. by Ingeld	Dec 1st, 2008 04:58:39 PM
How about Planet of the Weasels. Now if that film was to end in Washington DC with Weasels everywhere runing things, Wahlberg's character would not be able to tell the difference.
Here's a crazy idea. by v3d	Dec 1st, 2008 05:39:00 PM
Maybe in ten years or so, when people have forgotten the Tim Burton "re-imagining" someone will make a movie based on the original book. The 1968 version was great, but took many liberties with the original novel. Primarily for budgetary reasons, but neither version is a real adaptation of the book. In the novel the apes were completely modern. Large cities. Planes, trains and automobiles. Not the single rustic ape village, but a real planet of the apes. Someday I'd like to see that movie. Not a re-make of the second worst Apes movie.
Here's a crazy idea. by v3d	Dec 1st, 2008 05:39:01 PM
Maybe in ten years or so, when people have forgotten the Tim Burton "re-imagining" someone will make a movie based on the original book. The 1968 version was great, but took many liberties with the original novel. Primarily for budgetary reasons, but neither version is a real adaptation of the book. In the novel the apes were completely modern. Large cities. Planes, trains and automobiles. Not the single rustic ape village, but a real planet of the apes. Someday I'd like to see that movie. Not a re-make of the second worst Apes movie.
quite fucking around. I want PLANET OF THE LIZARD PEOPLE... by DANNYGLOVERS_DICKBLOOD	Dec 1st, 2008 05:59:13 PM
....starring Condaleeza Rice.
Conquest directors cut instead, please? by Chief Joseph	Dec 1st, 2008 06:09:49 PM
I remember on the "Making of", it was said that many scenes of ape-on-human carnage had to be removed from the original "Conquest" movie to keep a PG rating and not get an R. (There was no PG-13 back then, remember.) How about restoring those scenes?
Chief Joseph by Johnny Smith	Dec 1st, 2008 07:17:41 PM
It was just released on Blu-Ray.
The ending of the remake.... by shellfishh	Dec 1st, 2008 07:33:48 PM
Sorry if someone else already posted this, but one of the few cool things about the remake was the ending. I knew as soon as he took off in the little spacecraft what was going to happen because it was the ending, more or less, from the original novel by Pierre Boulle.
Johnny Smith by Chief Joseph	Dec 1st, 2008 07:48:32 PM
Damn, I don't have a Blu-Ray. Are there region-free Blu-Ray players?
A Hard R Rated Version... by PR1C3Y	Dec 1st, 2008 07:50:04 PM
Would be something really special to see. A PG-13 popcorn movie with such a good idea would be a terrible waste.
Shellfishh... by DeeJay	Dec 1st, 2008 08:53:09 PM
...you're baiting us, right? After the discussion that's already taken place, you don't really want to claim that ending was "cool," do you?
Wow, what's next? by JoeSixPack	Dec 2nd, 2008 05:51:16 AM
Further proof Hollywood has ran out of ideas. Sequel to one of the worst remakes of all time.
Say "hi" to your motha for me... by beatleMatt	Dec 2nd, 2008 07:25:22 AM
Fuck no.
Chief Joseph by hst666	Dec 2nd, 2008 02:14:52 PM
They also used to be able to show drug use, violence, and brief nudity in regular PG films prior to PG-13. Poltergeist, Airplane - both PG.
Memo: Scott Frank by RicardoMontalban	Dec 3rd, 2008 12:11:09 AM
Mr. Frank... Planet of the Apes rocked for so many because of John Chambers' kick-ass ape makeup. For some stupid reason Tim Burton decided to change it for his remake. Predictably his movie failed. Please go back to the series' original look. We all want the original apes back on the screen. Forget about trying to change something that already works. That would be like remaking Star Wars and updating Darth Varder's mask. PLEASE go back to the original apes look -- It was truley ahead of it's time.

Talkbacks

Remember That CONQUEST OF THE PLANET OF THE APES Remake We Heard About?? Looks Like It's Getting Closer...

User login

Quick Talkback

Talkbacks