Fireball looks kickass, we need a real sports like that on tv! but is it just me, or do they use the same damn sound effect for every hit? That kinda ruined the trailer for me a little.

Tell me that's not the best trailer voiceover ever!

I remember seeing posters for Nightwatch in theaters like almost a year before it ever was released with a big ole Harry Knowles quote on it.

Though, it depends if you consider Behind the Mask a slasher film. See that yet, Jarv? Hilarious, and it was set not too far from me in Glen Echo MD. It's the movie that is a mockumentary about a film crew following around a young yuppie who is aspiring to be the next big slasher in a world where freddy, jason and michael meyers actually existed.

Not seen behind the mask.

The scene where he demonstrates how to trick your victims into thinking you can only walk stilted and slow while chasing them is priceless.

Also, any word on that movie Charleston and Vendetta, which I think may now be called A Touch of Magic or soemthing like that?

Been waiting for a chance to see that. Would help if I knew the new title.

Also, Jarv, Miyazaki's new one, Ponyo is pretty good, more akin to something like Totorro or Kiki's Delivery Service though.

I shall be consoling myself with enough guinness to flood the world.

Mrs Jarv, being as it is Turkey Day seems to have invited every American waif and stray in North West London to our flat, so I shall be hungover.

I have got City of Men and Central Station to watch, which will be excellent. I may kick off such a brazilian feast with City of God first.

City of Men was good, but it was no City of God. Central Station was great.

That sounds familiar.

Mrs. Jarv is still sulking about the lack of pumpkin availability, so she's made apple pie instead.

I do all the cooking normally, so this has me worried.

Now for a dish of Twitch trailer souffle...

http://tinyurl.com/6ast9l

And that Inhabited Island movie looks kinda cool. But it looks like its just begging for Michael Bay to put his name on it. They even use his font!

tinyurl.com/26y2be

Fucking up quotes since 1981.

the harka - motherfuckers. don't respect that. 'oh it's our traditional dance' we should get bunch of aboriginals out and wave spears in their face and glass them and shit yelling 'imgunnasteponyaneckcunt!' if you you want to see a great stare down the best one i have ever seen was in the rugby league final on sat. of course, we lost that.

Do Twitch a big favour and check out the trailers. One or two look interesting.

Listen. Keep your voice down when mentioning the Welsh. If Lost Jarv hears you - you'll be in all kinds of pain.

Is 'Colin' going straight to DVD, do you know. I can't get enough zombies - and 'Diary Of The Dead' didn't do it for me.

I wouldn't out anyone off watching a film but - don't expect too much.

If you're after wall-to-wall action, 'Ultraviolet' has got plenty.

I've definitely had worse holidays. Quiet is not so bad.

Just kidding.

Possibly, there really IS an uncut version out now. I just haven't bothered looking after getting suckered the first time.

KEEP ON PARTYING, PEOPLE!

Watched Tropic Thunder on the DVDS finally fucking best movie of the year. Still funny as shit on third viewing.

Sucks just checked Netflicks and they no longer have it. I've noticed that more and more with the Flicks. There more obscure shit is disappearing. I wonder if its part of filtering their system of unrented movies, or people stealing them. Because you can easily steal movies from Netflicks.

Movie I'm dying to see ever released on the DVDs, Crispin Glovers What Is It.

Most of them got banned over here, but they're seeping through now.

I'm going to spend today thinking about boobies.

Not breasts. If I meant breasts I would have said so.

I'm not 6 for fuck's sake

Burt would be proud.

You live in Wales don't you?

OK, I do work in education and it's for charity, but I look like a complete twat.

Some people are not meant to grow moustaches.

Fuck the Welsh.

'm busy photoshopping Yosemite Sam's Stache onto female staff members.

Although some of them are equipped with mightily impressive ones already.

All hail the Chin.

There was a dreadful photo of them as a group on a "work night out" that looked like a fucking outing from Battersea Dog's home. I "stached" them up and it's a vast improvement.

That strikes me as pretty obvious.

The fudd has no excuse.

He has to wrap duct tape round, otherwise Jerry would explode with Tom's length in his ass.\

How shit is that?

Wile Coyote was an insane genious let down by shoddy equipment. He deserves to skull fuck roadrunner.

Rewatched Aliens too. Not as riveting as it was when I was 13. In fact, if you ask me it dragged a lot of points. Still lots of fun though, and way better than half the bull shit they call action these days.

Aliens is good but not a masterpiece like Alien.

...that's about it.

It's just terrrible- set up "like that time when..." insert pop culture reference.

Lazy and not funny- although there is the occasional good joke.

The old paedo makes me want to throw rocks at Seth McFarlane.

???

I know.

Alien 3 is underrated, and given the dreck that has followed from half way through resurrection, is looking much better as time passes.

AvP:Rectum is an affront to humanity and one of the worst films ever made. I understand that they were trying to undo a lot of Paul Wank Stain Andersen's stupidity from AvP, but there is no fucking excuse at all for the SHIT fucking lighting in it.

I bought a pirate copy (Completist nerd, had to- but was damned if I was contributing to their profit/ loss) of it and actually thought it was a bad copy, until a mate saw it round mine and said that he saw it in the cinema and it was actually meant to look like that.

There is no excuse for such incompetence.

I read an article about Trey Parker in which he said they weren't interested in making films anymore, because of Team America and how it was such a ball-ache to make.

Boo!

Whichever cunt put the Alien skull in the Predator's ship in Predator 2. Because he's responsible at the end of the day for the fucking idea.

Lance Henriksson, for being in the first one and thereby legitimising it.

PWSAnderwank- obviously,

WHichever cunt thought calling Lance "Mr Weyland" would give it credibility- twat

Whichever cunt thought calling her "miss Yutani" in Rectum for the same reason

Ewen Bremner- he's eminently slappable at the best of times, but I've never seen a more cliched character

Whichever cunt thought that an Alien queen should be the size of Godzilla

Whichever cunt thought "predalien" was a good idea

Fincher, for the idea that teh Alien takes some of it's shape from the host.

Whichever cunt fucked with continuity by having Aliens gestate from Facehugger to Adult in about 3 seconds.

Whichever cunt thought it was a good idea to put an inca temple in the fucking Arctic and then have it move like some cut price Lament configuration.

WHichever cunt thought it was a good idea to have the fucking predalien vomit foeti down a pregnant woman's throat

Whichever cunt greenlit it

Whichever cunt insisted on setting it on earth in the present day (DO NOT SET A FILM WITH XENOMORPHS IN IT IN SMALL TOWN USA)

I could go on, but you get the point.

However, there are some shockingly awful effects, and the Assembly cut is so far ahead of the theatrical version that I like to pretend the theatrical version doesn't exist.

Resurrection was a massive disappointment. I remember reading an early Whedon draft, before the frenchy came on board and it was much better. Many of the same elements, like the underwater bit, but it ended on earth and alien baby thing was kind of spidery (which didn't really make sense).

The AvP's are a fucking abomination.

It's a mixed bag, to be sure. I like it, but I understand why lots of people hate it.

The problems with Resurrection all start with the Alien Baby and the snake pit garbage. Whedon wants a smack for that.

I maintain that you could do a great cyberpunk Alien 5 in a wrecked earth following straight on from Resurrection. Hire Neil Marshall and make it NOW.

Fucking AvP. My blood is boiling even thinking about it.

It was on Channel 4 quite recently, and I started watching it thinking that it mightn't be as bad as I rememebered and then was forced to turn it off in apoplexy when the bullet time happened. It nearly went off when spud started talking about his fucking kids.

And Finchers way too good to waste on that type of shit. I'm really looking forward to Button, and I think it's the first time I've said that about a Pitt film since Fight Club.

Totally fits the philosophy of the early Alien films and he obviously digs the style.

Fincher would rock, as would Ridley Scott (who said he would do another before AvP assraped that, thanks Fox).

Predator 2 is underrated as well. I really like the Urban Jungle idea.

The order is:

1) Alien (masterpiece)

2)Aliens (classic, but not as good as Alien)

3)Predator (Good fun. Arnold on fine form and an excellent monster design

4)Alien 3 (as discussed a mixed bag)

5)Predator 2 (ditto)

6)Alien Resurrection (still good, but veering towards poor)

7)AvP- as discussed, dreadful

8)AvP: rectum- FUCKING ABOMINATION THAT FAILS ON EVERY FUCKING LEVEL AND KILLED BOTH SERIES.

*Jarv explodes with rage*

Worst piece of design, ever= Predalien. Just an utter failure.

But can anyone send me a link to an original Predator design? I'm curious

Just throwing it out there.

Count me out.

Because we want it.

Look into your heart.

You know this to be true.

Search your feelings. You know this must be done.

I'm all for a Leprechaun 7, personally.

Princess Bride 2: The Princess Divorcee.

Robin Wright comes back as the increasingly shrewish, anti-depressant addicted Buttercup in the process of divorcing Wesley after she found him in commission of an act of unspeakable depravity with an ROUS (Rodent of Unusal Size).

Bowfinger 2

The Rocketeer 2

The Shadow 2

The Dark Crystal 2

Red Heat 2 (with Belushi swearing his motherfucking ass off in Moscow)

That's all that spring to mind

Oh wait...

Action Jackson 2

Commando 2

Starship Troopers 4

Tremors 5

I'll think of some more.

Dick Tracy 2

Predator 3

Waterworld 2

Yet Another 48 hours

Tango & Cash 2

Cobra 2

Battlefield Earth 2 (you know you'd see it!)

Oh fuck it, I'm even disgusting myself with this now.

Anyway, Harry has left hogwarts and fucked Ginny in the ass. He goes off to Wizard university, develops a cannabis problem, drinks too much and uses magic to sleep with a succession of chubby lasses.

"Harry lay in his bed in hogwarts frantically polishing his wand. He was thinking of ginny when the magic happened, and gooey liquid appeared from nowhere ruining his sheets"

I haven't seen Dick Tracy for probably 18 years.

Time distorts ones memory.

That's a pretty accurate summary.

Not great, to be honest.

It could be called the Lord of The Ring Pirates.

Currently reading Graysmiths Zodiac book. Great book, but boy oh boy. Talk about painstaking detail.

Back to Potter, the only flick I really liked so far was Azkaban. 4 and 5 were ok. 1 and 2 were fucking awful.

I think Jackson made a huge mistake moving Shelob into ROTK and focusing on the Ents so much.

RotK... I seriously started getting up to leave three times at the end of the film. Jackson just couldn't let it go. It's a shame because he really made a great series, and is now overshadowed by the botched ending. I would've finished it when frodo wakes up and they all come in or when Viggo is crowned king. Fade to black. No Shire, no ship. What works in a book does not always work on screen.

I hope everyone is doing well this week. Spending time relaxing with the family and drinking copious amounts of winter ale.

Watched Fred Claus last night and it was way better than I expected but I'm sucker for that schmaltzy crap.

Oh, I'd also like to see another Robocop movie. But pretend like number 3 never happened. And keep the effects practical. Limit the CGI.

Head- meet wall.

Parker Posey.

Ryan Reynolds

Unhygenic Vampires

Jessica Biel.

Things I do want to see:

Wesley

Asskicking

Whistler

i actually had a corporal who belived exactly that. and he put it into practice. toward the end of the course we did a 100% kit check. the guy had nothing to say against payouts for having a plastic chicken in his kit (obviously the payouts came from above)

Haven't seen Fred Claus, and doubt I will. What's with Vaughn and Christmas movies?

And you'll get you're wish for Robocop. I still can't believe Aronofsky is doing it. And you really need to disregard 2 and 3 because they were both terrible.

Wow, it sounds like I hate everything!

There was no three.

There was no three.

Changeling

Bo dy of Lies

Max Payne

Zack and Miri

Or I might just see none, go get shitfaced, then lie on couch all weekend watching 80's action-fests.

What to do. What to do.

That is the weekend viewing at casa del jarv.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =h8-XaxH9uTw

How was your day? You and the family have a good T Day?

I couldn't get the sound to work on that youtube clip. Why did that dude slap her? Was she jawing with a Marine over the internet and he felt even more like the wuss he is? I guess he felt threatened by a real man who was far away. You know, the usual.

In the first film, the way the beautiful main theme is utilised in the sequence with the kid playing the flute is excellent. Then the guy goes up and you think 'Hooo, boy, dat kid's in trouble now!' Instead, the guy takes the flute and whittles away at it, hands it back and the kid can play on - in tune! Great scene.

What's with the fancy name?

That sounds horrible.

Unless they announce John Cusack is in it. I can see him occupying a 'Venkman' kind of role.

Sorry for the misunderstanding.

Heh.

I'm I talking in braille tonight...?

It's been a long day.

Wish I was in Australia. It's hot there.

Blade Trinity's lousy villains really hurt it. And the story was mostly done so they could do a spinoff with the Reynolds/Biel's Nightstalkers team, but that never happened. Plus a shower scene of Biel with no nudity is just wrong.

Heart Of Karl has got an 'Evil Dead' vibe going on, you can see the love for 1980's schlock in there.

Need more 'Karl,' Twitch. See to it, please. Cheers.

Killed her off way too soon, Anderson...

I can believe they shortened Fiorina to Fiori. But I cannot accept they missed the fact that Alien 3's planet was not 16 - but 161.

Basic fact checking. Jeunet, you are the weakest link. Piss off.

Alien is my favourite film of all time (so far). I'm disappointed with the choices Fox has made with this franchise. I take it personally.

"I've seen shit that'll turn you WHITE!"

Classic.

You seen the movie Snow Angles? Its got Nonan in it, he has the only memorable part in the movie trying to get his marching band pumped to play Sledgehammer.

Oddly, the UK version of the TC has got a scene not in the US TC. Can't understand why it's missing from the US cut.

So there's 3 versions!

The other thing is - it looks (to me) like a movie for television. D'yer know what I mean? No real scope. If that's deliberate, fair enough. But if it's going "head to head" with Red Cliff - the latter is an epic, screen-filling spectacle.

At a glance, only one winner...

They're having the police briefing near the beginning. When it's over, 4 of the guys get together and discuss the motive. They get a call informing them that a thumb print has been pulled off a victim's eye. At this point, Will Graham walks off and Jack Crawford glowers at the other two local detectives, a real 'fuck you' glare.

You're left thinking - why is he giving them the ocular daggers? It's totally over the top.

But in the UK version there's an extra scene walking along a corridor before they go into the briefing where these two guys (or one of them) pour scorn on Graham's methods. They might even scoff at trying to get fingerprints off eyeballs - can't remember, I've only got the US R1 and I saw this scene in the UK television version a long time ago.

Anyhoo; they scoff. Hence Crawford's reaction. It makes more sense. Why cut it from the US version?

Good. I like to see a 'hero' who's just as bad as the bad guys.

Love that song as well - "Oh baby, oh baby, then it fell apart..." That'll be stuck in me head for hours now!

Just one viewpoint - the Bible Is Good - and don't you dare go astray! With the way it's presented - wagging its religious finger at me - I didn't really connect with the story. But it still amazes me to see a big crowd scene knowing they're all real and not CGI!

The Moses prologue I enjoyed the most.

There will be a big clamour against it, time will pass, then someone will bring the Bat back. Isn't this how it usually goes?

Mind you, I was more of a Wiley Coyote/Roadrunner fan.

Yeh, every episode I used to pray Wile E would ram that "Beep! Beep!" down Roadrunner's stupid beak!

Yes please...

"There's a bump coming up..." Vast understatement!

I agree Zedd, Bourne is not Bond, nor should the lines be blurred. Inevitable I guess given the re-imagining of Bond to today's sensibilities, but regrettable.

We are in total agreement. Bourne is a lifeless, automaton. Bond should be a combination of charm and menace.

I don't think it quite worked. I still view him as cold and merciless.

I was a little disappointed by TT. Cruise was great and Jack Blacks 'tied to the tree' monologue was gold. Downey Jr was good, but i'd seen so much of him as Lazarus it wasn't a surprise.

It would've been great to go into that flick cold, knowing nothing about it.

Ultimately, what I thought was going to be the best Hollywood send up since The Player was good, but no where near great. I probably built it up a wee bit too much, as Stiller is no Altman.

Not "Isn't it..."

So Quatum of Solace had my FAVORITE Bond, a so-so story (stolen water? a litle boring), and some INCREDIBLE action. Normally shaky cam bothers me, and it did for the first half an hour or so, but it works on a visceral level. I found myself literally on the edge of my seat after nearly every fight scene.

Hopefully in the next movie Bond can have a one on one match like the great Bond brawls of yore (Bond vs. Oddjob etc). Donnie Yen vs. Daniel Craig would be pretty sweet on the big screen. Or Sammo would make a great evil mastermind/asskicker of spies. I'm just sayin...

Anybody else's thoughts on a good idea for a one on one Bond matchup?

Usually I root against anything LA based and I agree about thier cock headed fans, but I have to give the devil its due, Pete Carrol has done one hell of a job with USC.

It's to bad the east coast usully misses out on USC games, USC is really really good. I would like to see a USC vs Oklahoma or Florida game. That would be quite interesting I believe.

Connery is the definitive Bond. The greatest Bond. Craig is my second favorite, followed by Lazenby (former second favorite) Brosnan, Dalton, Moore. I do not hate Moore. He was who he is - a light comedian - thrust into an action role. Moore was great as The Saint, and he was great in the Persuaders. His early Bond efforts were good, but his natural goofiness just overwhelmed the portrayal, and made it a caricature.

That being said, I truly understand why some people like him over other Bonds. As for Qos. I found all of the action lacking. The airplane stunt was terrible. It was also a direct rip-off of Capricorn One. Casino was far superior to this movie. As for a face-off, hey Stratham would be a damn good choice.

And fuck OU, though OSU did make some stupid mistakes. But come on.

Or David O'Hara or Rhona Mitra as the bad guy for the next bond. And let Neil Marshall direct. David O' Hara has a bad ass villain voice.

besides, mal meninga owes me a beer.

The theatrical cut is strictly in that 80s swashbuckler vein. Like a double feature with Labyrinth.

The director's cut however is quite a bit better, because it returns the Goldsmith score, re-edits the film and adds some things, removes others(the terrible glow in the dark talons) and in my mind, lifts it above most of the other films of the same ilk.

When Jackson was making LOTR, back when Harry did those questions for him, he remarked that if you wanted to get an idea of what they were doing, something akin to Legend, but not with all the cheesy elements, only in the sense that they were trying to create an immersive and plausible world that existed outside of modern references and what not.

So, yea, Im a Legend fan, but watch the director's cut, and forget about the theatrical one unless you are having a retro party at your house.

It would be great as long as they did not wimp out at the end and make Statham a villain with heart of gold, like what happened to Jaws. Make him a true villain who beats Bond - early in the movie, then let Bnd beat him at the end.

My girlfriend and I are watching the director's cut right now. She hasn't seen the movie since she was a kid so I'm hoping it will be a much better experience for her.

By the way, how cool of a character is Gump? It's the same kid from Tin Drum. Probably one of the best child actors of all time.

Ridley Scott's Director's Cuts are always the definitive versions of his films for me. Alien, Legend, and Blade Runner are all great films for me, but especially in the versions cut specifically by Scott.

The Vinnie Jones idea is pretty good, but I am getting a little sick of that guy's tremendous typecasting, especially after also seeing Midnight Meat Train and Survive Style 5+.

Nathan Jones would be a good choice, if he is not too busy playing Thor. Anyone seen his Popeye inspired movie? Som Tam? Also has anyone ever seen the movie Asterix & Obelix movies? Are they any good? Another european movie I want to see are the Taxi movies.

Xi, leave poor Fred alone. Don't take his space bug just to cover your gambling loses.

Special shout out to JPTs J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS, By them cocking it up I won all three pools straight up.

Actually, I dont even watch the CFL (canadian football), so let's just say I have no use for football in general.

Seriously, watch the opening of more than one episode. While the jailbot is always flying through the air carrying that guy, the areas they fly through are never the same. There is just so much detail. In every frame. So cool.

Zombie Davina is hilarious.

Fuck.

"As a law student"- hey, dickhead, I also studied law and can tell you that you get taught to put a case properly. You don't spin like a fucking gyroscope unless your position is untenable.

I agree about Dead Set, by the way. Not bad, not great, very much inspired by the 28 Whatsit Later films. The beginning was good and the ending wasn't bad, but it sagged badly in middle, I thought. And, yes, Zombvina was funny.

Is The Dark Knight out on DVD today? I'm thinking I'll watch it again to see whether I was totally wrong about it (as I often am).

Aren't you up London? There must be millions of decent jobs in the big smoke for a guy such as yourself.

I'm currently trying to maximise training in the current job so that I can jump into a better paid government Quango one (Govt ones also = less work).

Mrs. Jarv's idea- and it's a good one.

I would expect that one had been "chang-ed" if I didn't know better.

A) The ability to take shit off people on the phone.

B) The ability to unjam a lasr printer.

C) The ablity to quietly ignore the percentage of office staff who will always insist on parroting phrases from Little Britain all day.

Oh, well. I hope the Quango thing works out for you. If nothing else, Quango is a great, great word.

I haven't been to see a film at the cinema for a while now, on account of being all poor and whatnot.

Also, don't you dare impugne the name of Olivier Megaton. That is the greatest name for an action film director I have ever heard. Fingers crossed, Transporter 4 will be directed by Juan Carlos Makestuff-Goboom.

Transferrable skills= type at 60 words a minute. M/S office. Patience on phone. Not slaughtering work colleauges, no matter how much they may deserve it.

It was also a little too Wachowskian for my tastes - pseudo-messianic overtones and whatnot, and scenes where people stand around talking about ideas the brothers couldn't be bothered to dramatise.

Kids might like it, though. It's very colourful, and there is also a chimp.

That summary was probably better than my previous long-winded analogy.

I watched The Good Shepherd on the weekend. Very long and very slow, but was interesting enough and also had a wish list of actors in there.

Mrs Droid wants to see Twilight. She's reading the books.

I'm not happy.

I also liked The Good Shepherd. Not a great film, but it was an intriguing story, and the cast was good.

I also saw The Mist at the weekend, which I really liked, even though I can't stand horrors normally. The Mist was good, though, and it has one of the most grim endings I've ever seen.

My favourite part was that there was a kid with chimp faces on his pyjamas and a chimp with kid faces on his pyjamas. That was it, though.

I did see it at the cinema, so it might play differently on home vid.

Also, it's a film about beasties from another dimension, so (it seems to me) that if I can accept that as a premise, an exagerated religious loon is not so hard to swallow.

And, yes, Thomas Jane was great. I'm thinking about adding him to my man-crush list (alongside Ryan Reynolds and Chris Evans).

It's great that they've made a film for the huge fans, but what about the rest of us?

What I'd like from the Wacha's next flick is something more akin to their Bound. No special effects, just a well told story with interesting characters.

I'd also love to see them try to just tell a good story again. It's nice that they're so ambitious, but what's the point if all your ambition does is get you into one clusterfuck after another? This also applies to Richard Kelly.

But that's just me.

Also, Mulholland Drive makes perfect sense. That's the kind of film Kelly wishes he could make. But he can't.

What did I miss?

I watched the interview with Lynch which was on the dvd hoping to gain some insight into it. It pretty much went like this...

Interviewer: What is your film about?

Lynch: It's about ideas. You know... ideas."

I wasn't happy to find out that the guy who made it didn't know what his own film was about.

It's possibly the most depressing film I've ever seen. Me and a friend decided a double bill of Mulholland Drive and Requiem For A Dream would be enough to push most people into suicide.

As for Requiem. If I ever have kids, I'll show them that film when they are about 13 or so, and completely scare the fuck out of them.

Also, it's a good idea to make it a double bill with some kind of life-affirming comedy you can watch after. Do not attempt the Mulholland/Requiem pathway to death! That is a dangerous business, I reckon.

I accept full responsibility for any disappointment you may experience, but I do not offer refunds. Store credit only.

We had an American football team here in Bristol for a while. I saw them at the old Rovers ground. Boring as fuck.

Also, Hawaiian if you pop in, I watched your name sake last night. McLovin showing everyone how to roll...

I took her more as the little push the smaller group needed to get them out in the open and then bring our nifty dismal ending for that small group.

The Jets really sucked yesterday. The Panthers on the other hand pulled one out of the fire. If Steve Smith isn't the best WR going right now I don't know who is.

I loved Speed Racer. I could watch it once a month.

Speaking of Bond, I'm revisiting the series and even though the cheese factor is high, they hold up well. I started with the Roger Moore era as he was my Bond growing up. I had forgotten how much fun The Spy Who Loved Me and A View To A Kill were what with elevators that opened up into shark tanks (giggity, giggity) and staircases that slide your ass out of a blimp.

Its not that I don't want to agree with you. I wish I could.

I doubt very much they'll be able to pick anybody out on the security tape from Wal-Mart but what disgusts me more than anything is there are animals out there right now who know they killed a guy and will take it to their grave. Wal-Mart should have had the cops there instantly and sealed off the store so nobody leaves and then prosecute those scumfucks. I'd slit their throats with a chainsaw.

Yup, the Jets were sucky of the highest magnitude. And the Panthers do really blow. If the Giants don't get to the superbowl, something is definitely wrong.

I think the only thing you could have a problem with toad is the elapsed time it takes to convert the sheep. But people searching desperately for answers will tend to latch on to craziness as sort of a natural defense if you will.

I just can't fucking believe first, that it happened, second, that they KEPT ON FUCKING SHOPPING, and third, will get away with it.

No takebacks.

Maybe bring back the Goldeneye shit and make Statham a double-double-O-agent.

And intentional or not, what I find sickening is that not one person has come forward. Surely there were some people who realized they were trampling other people but continued on their merry way once they were in the store.

I have been in pressure filled situations - very pressure filled. Now, most of that was military related, and discipline kicks in to reign in extreme behavior, but even so, people are basically good, and even under pressure, they behave in mostly predictable ways.

I have nothing against movies that use the 'snap' device, but damn it, show prior motivation, use flashbacks if necessary, but do not just throw it out there and expect me to believe it.

Donnie Yen could just be a henchmen. Is it just me or have Bond movies of late been missing classic henchmen like Odd Job and Jaws?

It was Toad and I who were arguing about Dent's turn in TDK. Although that's the least of that film's worries.

Both motivations were shown to involve adults that had harmed or tied to harm loved ones. Not innocent children.

The plane chase sene culminating in the nick in tme parachuting was breathtaking. The final battle with the hotel blowing up from the hydrogen fuel cells was cool with the guy axing his own foot and Olga capping that raping scumbucket despot. A

The plane chase sene culminating in the nick in tme parachuting was breathtaking. The final battle with the hotel blowing up from the hydrogen fuel cells was cool with the guy axing his own foot and Olga capping that raping scumbucket despot. A

The plane chase sene culminating in the nick in tme parachuting was breathtaking. The final battle with the hotel blowing up from the hydrogen fuel cells was cool with the guy axing his own foot and Olga capping that raping scumbucket despot. A

The plane chase sene culminating in the nick in tme parachuting was breathtaking. The final battle with the hotel blowing up from the hydrogen fuel cells was cool with the guy axing his own foot and Olga capping that raping scumbucket despot. A

The plane chase sene culminating in the nick in tme parachuting was breathtaking. The final battle with the hotel blowing up from the hydrogen fuel cells was cool with the guy axing his own foot and Olga capping that raping scumbucket despot. A

And then the final scene where Bond pwns the guy responsible for Vesper's death was sweet. I loved every minute of the film. Especially the cynical plot with the American and British governments willing to do business with the villains.

How do you get a gay man to fuck a woman?

Fill her cunt with shit.

I'm the first to admit the 2nd and 3rd Bourne movies lost their way. I'll take the 3rd over the 2nd any day but after that first awesome entry, the series really sputtered. But I agree that the new Bond reboot owes everything to the Bourne movies. And hell, while I'm at it I'll say the Batman reboot owes Bourne as well. Both took that gritty in your face action style and ran with it. Whether you want to argue that they use it better in Bond is neither here nor there.

And I hate to break it to you Danny, in 50 years people will still know who Matt Damon is. The guy isn't going away. He's a decent actor, a decent writer and when his days in front of the camera are over, he'll move behind it.

Oh Hell NAWW!!! You did not just tarnish the good name of Jean-Luc. Stewart and his commanding voice are fucking awesome. Imagine how badass it would be if someone fucked up and let Bond live and he was all sinister and said something like, "Mr. Donavon, you have failed me for the last time. Time to meet your end." And then you just see his hand wave and then someone goes up to Donavon and shoots him in the temple. Fuck yes!! It must be his voice.

DAH DAH DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH HH!!

And it sucks that they killed Miss Fields so quick, she didnt do anything except fucking Bond and tripping the creepy henchman in the stairs. She was sexier than the other chick, and could have made a great new 'Moneypenny' type character that wets her panties over Bond every time she sees him at the office.

"People are fundamentally insane." Best line in The Mist.

Reign Of Fire is the only one I haven't seen. ACO and Deliverance I haven't seen in ages, looking forward to giving those a spin.

Watch some movies!

Troy Duffy could have learned a few things from The Brothers W.

And how can Walker not watch his movies, arent they all forced to go to premieres and sit there? If not, they should be forced, maybe sitting thru a shit movie would push them to make better ones.

Check out this shot of Gambit.

I think that is why I like the show My Own Worst Enemy, because its part behind the curtain show. I'm tried of seeing the good guys always running around scared for their lives of these secret theory causing people that taught their lives. I want to see a show about the people who make decisions to hide the "big secret" from the rest of the world. The people that make the decisions to kill a bunch of people, because they can and those people "knew too much". I already know the name of it, Wal-Mart: The Lee Scott Chronicles.

I dislike Gambit as a character but I became interested when they hired this kid. I think he might do well in what is a thankless shitty role.

Fuck, why do I know so much about shitty sitcoms I dont even watch???

Although not as petty as for a fucking discount, and partially caused by police incompetence, there were 96 people crushed to death.

I grew up in Sheffield and remember it clearly, I had friends at the game, and it was at least partially caused by the topography of the stadium- which created the bottleneck, and I wonder if that Wallmart thing was at least partially similar.

He'd painted himself into a corner by having Pullman go to Jail, so to extricate his main character he literally had him transform into something else. It was this point on that made me convinced that he was simply making shit up as he went along.

Inland Empire is unwatchable. Literally unwatchable.

Eraserhead, Elephant Man, Blue Velvet, Dune (fuck you all, I like it), Twin Peaks.

It isn't like he doesn't have it in him.

I have yet to see Inland Empire, partly because I'm a bit scared. Isn't about three hours long? I'm not sure I can take a full three hours of David Lynch weirdness in one sitting.

That could just be me though.

She's got a copy of the changeling to watch, but I keep finding other things that we need to see instead. Mostly because I don't like Clint Eastwood in full on Oscar Bait mode. (Million Dollar boredom for example).

Jarv, as I told you yesterday, Mrs Jarv is a smart woman. Avoid Southland Tales like the plague! It's not as bad as you have heard... It's much, much worse.

He is utterly incapable of stating a position, instead, he chooses to post mind numbing tracts of garbage without a single coherent thought. And then he LIES about things (in a really sad way), to try to support his point.

Bigoted douchebag.

A)That doesn't sound good.

B)Hyperbole, much?

c)We haven't seen ANYTHING of Avatar yet.

they need to stop it.

I think it's because it's such a dark and twisted romance, which appeals to me more than your Sandra Bullock/Kate Hudson type stuff jpt likes so much.

For me, even though I didn't get it on the first sitting, I was sufficiently intrigued that I wanted to watch it again to figure out what the fuck was going on.

Plus, we need the shit films to remind us how good the good films are.

He's one of the few things that Family Guy has been right about- "As hard as telling him that he sucks".

Best line of that "Dazed and Confused was passable, but everything else you've done is unacceptable".

Simply brilliant. I prefer City of God, but Mrs. Jarv was in floods towards the end of it.

Just great stuff.

It's an honest living, I suppose.

Have seen that ad for some after shave or other, where he literally just takes his shirt off and smiles? That's his entire career in a thirty second micro-burst!

Oh and Southland Tales is twice as fucking terrible as everyone makes it out to be. Truly shit with no redeemable values. The same goes for Inland Empire. I'm a huge Lynch fan since the age of 12 and even I could'nt fucking stand it. Jeremy Irons was pretty good though.

The lesson with those two movies I think is that directors really need editors or some type of overseer. Every time they get absolute creative control the results are usually pretty awful self-indulgent tripe.

On the one hand I would like to make some really slow thoughtful sci-fi flick. Maybe an 8 hour adaption of Dune or The Foundation Series by Isaac Asimov. Or maybe Snow Crash. Some "hard" science fiction for once. It's been a while since we've gotten something like that.

While on the other hand I have a great urge to make some incredibly fucking goofy 3 hour movie about badass mercenaries made up by all the guys on the CoC list, who are just dropped into the Amazon jungle to rescue some civilians and bring them back alive. Oh and they can only use knives for some reason and they have bombs surgically implanted in them. It could be called CoCked and Loaded.

"BLeurgh, that was awful"

With me in complete control, the end result would be a colossal clusterfuck - on account of I know nothing about directing films - but who cares? I figure, once I've made a film that big, I'll have a career for life.

Have you ever noticed how even the worst directors still get work? That could be me!

I could warm to Dune.

I'd want to see a "proper" adaptation of Howard's conan. That would be cool.

I'd also like my cyberpunk Alien to "fuck everyone's eyeballs" and restore the series to it's greatness.

It just requires that Badass is set to 11 and (preferably)Kurt is cast and doesn't cry.

Word must have gotten around that I am not onboard the Dark Knight boat.

They take my rants with a grain of salt.

Have my prayers been answered?

I'm watching it again when it comes out on DVD, mind you. I'm keen to know whether the litany of complaints I had about the film were fair. It could be my first reaction to the film ('What the fuck is all the fuss about?') was wrong, but I hope not.

I suspect she would lamp me.

It sure wouldn't play well with fans and the politically correct crowd, but Droid I think you hit on something. A scene directed by David Fincher of a guy going through the office blasting workers in slo-mo as "Beautiful Day" plays. Make it happen.

And then sometimes I get on entirely the wrong boat, like with Fantastic Four, and I am cold and lonely and many people on various other boats are laughing and pointing at me.

It's okay, though. Us iconoclasts have thick skins (we have to or we'd cry all the time).

I think I occasionally get on the wrong boat as well. I just assume though, that I'm the only one that read the sign properly and got the vessel called "Correct" and they didn't.

They still suck something fierce.

There's too much gubbins in it that doesn't help the film, and Dent's turn is too forced. I still don't think they killed 2Face. He'll be back.

Katie "robot" Holmes can fuck off forever.

Is The Majestic any good? It's the only Darabont film I haven't seen, and I'm thinking of giving it a go since I enjoyed The Mist so much.

I don't think Gyllanhall did any better in TDK.

The X-Men efforts are the mopey goth teenager that sits indoors listening to the cure cutting himself, whereas the FF films are the fat 6 year old that gorges on chocolate till he pukes on your couch.

I can do without both, to be honest. But I think I hate the sugar filled bawsack a bit more.

His worst is probably the number 2(3) which Mrs. Jarv gave me for my birthday a few years ago and then cursed about how shit it was.

I like Tina Fey. She's funny.

I bet she's really fucking needy and a fishwife.

Don't you like 30 Rock, Jarv? Mean Girls?

Between X3, Blade 3, SM3, Superman Returns and the new Batman movies, I'm worried that they blew their load on superhero movies and have nothing left.

I wonder if the new Punisher movie is going to be any good. I could use a good dose of over the top violence right about now.

Baby Mama on the other hand is an abortion of a movie. Avoid at all costs. The only laughter it elicits is through the tears when you realize your life is so pathetic you're watching Baby Mama.

I really liked The Majestic. It was a sweet movie that made me not want to wipe humanity off the face of the earth for a change.

And I agree....Nolan's take on Gotham isn't very Gothamy. As far as a Batman film I still prefer Batman Returns. Thats why I say I dont really like TDK so much as a Bat-Film, but just as a great film. I can distinguish between the two. Because I'm not a bloody cunt. And I don't mean bloody like a Brit would say, I mean literally bloody. Like menstrual cycle blood. Why is it brown? Fucking disgusting. But so fucking hot.

I've been alone on this boat since day one.

Fortunately Daredevil has too much self respect for shit like that.

Sorry about that.

Soon, I will be on a bus. Then at home.

As I won't see the other Hulk version until the end of the month, I cannot compare the two as of yet. But I am never interested in watching Lee's Hulk when it's on tv.

And I have a date to appear in Little People's court from all the midgets I punched.

Tina Fey should go door to door offering blowjobs to poor saps who rented it.

Not the fight with some rabid dogs or that thing at the end with his dad. I did not like that one bit.

Give me more Iron Man. And more Spider-Man 2. And, obviously, I would like a lot more Blade 2.

What I don't want is a comic book adaptation by a man (a talented man, no doubt) who would rather be making a Heat knock off.

I do think that the new one could just be considered a sequel if you remove the opening credits though.

Be thankful that the Bear will soon be under Pillow ownership.

Today, I am treating myself to a lazy bus ride. Also, a delicious omelette. Or maybe I'll be lazy and get some delicious chips.

And with that, I'm off. Night, all!

Until pussy-boy Brad Pitt kicked his and then dragged it all over town.

And I remember a rumor when we were in college that she was kinda a freak in the bed while at Harvard or Yale or wherever she went... (pretending not to know so as not to seem like that creepy stalker-guy...)

Or as I prefer to view it, "simulated" orgasm.

Har har.

Well, I'm sure she appears innocent, but the rumor in college was that she liked sex. Like, a LOT.

And hey, I've got no problem with that. And perhaps she hides it because she doesn't want to ruin her rep as a sweet, innocent girl

I think Dickblood is holding out on us. He has the power to make things happen but he leaves us poor office schlubs twisting in the wind.

The Dickblood is strong with that one...

I still use that "frank and earnest" line. No one laughs but me.

(Pulls out knife) Gina: Oh honey. Only three inches?

Bad guy: You'll feel me.